Is civility a sham? | Teresa Bejan

翻译人员: psjmz mz 校对人员: Annie Zhang

This talk contains mature language Viewer discretion is advised

【本演讲包含成人词汇，请酌情观看】

Let's get this out of the way.

我直说吧。

I'm here because I wrote a book about civility,

我在此是因为我写了 一本关于礼貌的书，

and because that book came out

也因为书正好在

right around the 2016 American presidential election,

2016 年美国总统大选期间出版，

I started getting lots of invitations to come and talk about civility

我开始接到很多关于礼貌和

and why we need more of it in American politics.

为什么在美国政治中 需要更多礼仪的演讲。

So great.

太好了。

The only problem was that I had written that book about civility

我写那本关于礼貌的书 的唯一问题是

because I was convinced that civility is ...

因为我确信礼貌是……

bullshit.

屁话。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, that may sound like a highly uncivil thing to say,

这样说听起来可能非常无礼，

and lucky for you, and for my publisher,

不过各位和我的出版商不用担心，

I did eventually come to change my mind.

我确实最终改变了我的主意。

In the course of writing that book

在写那本书的过程中，

and studying the long history of civility and religious tolerance

我研究了 17 世纪文明和宗教宽容

in the 17th century,

的悠久历史，

I came to discover that there is a virtue of civility,

我开始发现礼貌的美德

and far from being bullshit, it's actually absolutely essential,

绝不是屁话，实际上是绝对必要的，

especially for tolerant societies,

尤其是对宽容的社会而言，

so societies like this one, that promise not only to protect diversity

像这样的社会，不仅承诺保障多样性，

but also the heated and sometimes even hateful disagreements

而且保护多样性引发的激烈，

that that diversity inspires.

有时甚至可恨的分歧。

You see, the thing about disagreement

关于分歧，

is that there is a reason

有个理由是

that "disagreeable" is a synonym for "unpleasant."

“不友好”是“不愉快”的同义词。

As the English philosopher Thomas Hobbes pointed out

正如英国哲学家 托马斯•霍布斯指出的那样，

all the way back in 1642,

回到 1642 年，

that's because the mere act of disagreement is offensive.

仅仅是意见不合就是无礼的。

And Hobbes is still right. It works like this:

霍布斯仍然是对的，事情往往是这样：

so, if you and I disagree,

如果你和我意见不一，

and I'm right, because I always am,

我当然是对的，因为我一直对，

how am I to make sense of the fact that you are so very, very wrong?

我怎么能理解 你是如此错误的事实呢？

It couldn't possibly be that you've just come to a different conclusion

不可能你碰巧出于善意得出

in good faith?

不同的结论吧？

不可能，一定没什么好事， 你一定很傻，

No, you must be up to something, you must be stupid,

bigoted, interested.

顽固不化，有成见。

Maybe you're insane.

可能你根本不可理喻。

And the same goes the other way. Right?

反过来也一样，对吧？

So the mere fact of your disagreeing with me

所以，仅仅不同意我的观点

is implicitly an insult not only to my views, but to my intelligence, too.

就暗含着侮辱我的观点， 侮辱我的智商的事实。

And things only get worse when the disagreements at stake

当那些分歧发生在对我们来说 非常基础的事实上时，

are the ones that we somehow consider to be fundamental,

无论是世界观，还是我们的身份认同，

whether to our worldviews or to our identities.

事情往往会变得更糟。

You know the kinds of disagreement I mean.

你们知道我指的哪些分歧。

One doesn't discuss religion or politics

人们不会在餐桌上讨论宗教或政治

or increasingly, the politics of popular culture, at the dinner table,

或者越来越常见的， 讨论流行文化的政治，

because these are the disagreements,

因为这些分歧——

these are the things that people really, seriously disagree about,

这些真的是分歧很大的事情，

and they define themselves against their opponents in the controversy.

在这些争论中， 他们会与对手针锋相对。

But of course those fundamental disagreements

但当然，这些根本分歧

are precisely the ones that tolerant societies

正是像美国那样

like the United States propose to tolerate,

宽容的社会主张要宽容对待的，

which perhaps explains why, historically, at least,

这也许也解释了为什么， 至少在历史上，

tolerant societies haven't been the happy-clappy communities of difference

宽容的社会并不是你有时候听到的

that you sometimes hear about.

是那种充满差异的快乐社区。

No, they tend to be places where people have to hold their noses

不，它们往往是那种 人们尽管彼此相互轻视，

and rub along together despite their mutual contempt.

但不得不硬着头皮一起生活的地方。

That's what I learned from studying religious tolerance

这就是我在研究 近代早期的英国和美国

in early modern England and America.

宗教宽容中了解到的。

And I also learned that the virtue that makes

我也了解到使这种你可以称为

that un-murderous coexistence, if you will, possible,

“非致命的共存”成为可能的美德，

is the virtue of civility,

可能就是礼貌的美德，

because civility makes our disagreements tolerable

因为礼貌让我们的分歧得到容忍，

so that we can share a life together even if we don't share a faith --

这样我们就可以相安无事的共同生活， 尽管我们没有共同的信仰——

religious, political or otherwise.

无论是宗教，政治还是其他方面。

Still, I couldn't help but notice

尽管如此，我还是忍不住注意到，

that when most people talk about civility today --

当今天大多数人讨论礼貌时——

and boy, do they talk about civility a lot --

哦，他们真的经常讨论礼貌吗——

they seem to have something else in mind.

他们似乎还有别的想法。

So if civility is the virtue that makes it possible to tolerate disagreement

如果礼貌是让容忍分歧 成为可能的美德，

so that we can actually engage with our opponents,

这样我们就可以切实 与我们的对手互动，

talking about civility

那么谈论礼貌

seems to be mainly a strategy of disengagement.

似乎主要就是一种脱离接触的策略。

It's a little bit like threatening to take your ball and go home

这有点像当游戏不按自己意愿走时，

when the game isn't going your way.

我们就要退出游戏。

Because the funny thing about incivility

因为无礼的有趣之处在于

is that it's always the sin of our opponents.

这总是我们对手的罪过。

It's funny.

这很有趣。

When it comes to our own bad behavior,

当涉及我们自己的坏行为时，

well, we seem to develop sudden-onset amnesia,

我们似乎会突然失忆，

or we can always justify it as an appropriate response

或者我们总会把它看作我们对

to the latest outrage from our opponents.

对手最近一次愤怒的恰当反应。

So, "How can I be civil to someone who is set out to destroy

那么，“我们怎么能够对那些 想要摧毁我所代表的一切

everything I stand for?

的人礼貌呢？

And by the way, they started it."

顺便说一句，是他们挑起的。”

It's all terrifically convenient.

这么做非常便利。

Also convenient is the fact that most of today's big civility talkers

还有一个便利之处在于， 今天大多数的礼仪演讲家

tend to be quite vague and fuzzy

在谈到他们认为礼貌的实际含义时，

when it comes to what they think civility actually entails.

措辞往往是相当模棱两可的。

We're told that civility is simply a synonym for respect,

我们被告知礼貌只是尊重、

for good manners, for politeness,

好脾气、友好的同义词，

but at the same time, it's clear that to accuse someone of incivility

但与此同时，指责别人无礼

is much, much worse than calling them impolite,

比称呼他们粗鲁要更加，更加糟糕，

because to be uncivil is to be potentially intolerable

因为从潜在的意义上说， 无礼是不可容忍的，

in a way that merely being rude isn't.

粗鲁则不是。

So to call someone uncivil, to accuse them of incivility,

所以说某人无礼，指责他们不懂礼貌，

is a way of communicating that they are somehow beyond the pale,

是在传达他们超越界限，

that they're not worth engaging with at all.

根本不值得交往的一种沟通方式。

So here's the thing:

所以事情是这样的：

civility isn't bullshit,

礼貌不是废话，

it's precious because it's the virtue that makes fundamental disagreement

它非常宝贵，因为正是 这种美德使根本的分歧

not only possible but even sometimes occasionally productive.

不仅成为可能，有时甚至会产生成效。

It's precious, but it's also really, really difficult.

这很珍贵，但也非常非常困难。

Civility talk, on the other hand,

另一方面，礼节性交谈，

well, that's really easy,

很简单，

really easy,

真的很简单，

and it also is almost always complete bullshit,

而且几乎总是屁话，

which makes things slightly awkward for me

这对我来说有点尴尬，

as I continue to talk to you about civility.

当我还在继续跟你们 讲礼貌的时候。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Anyway, we tend to forget it,

总之，我们很容易忘记，

but politicians and intellectuals have been warning us for decades now

但几十年来，政客和知识分子 一直在警告我们

that the United States is facing a crisis of civility,

美国正面临礼貌危机，

and they've tended to blame that crisis on technological developments,

他们倾向于把这个危机 归咎于技术发展，

on things like cable TV, talk radio, social media.

如有线电视，脱口秀，社交媒体。

But any historian will tell you

但任何历史学家会跟你说

that there never was a golden age of disagreement,

这是有史以来分歧的“黄金时代”，

let alone good feelings,

更不用说美好的感觉了，

not in American politics.

美国政治中根本不存在。

In my book, though, I argue that the first modern crisis of civility

在我的书中，我倒认为 首个现代的礼貌危机

actually began about 500 years ago,

其实开始于 500 年前，

when a certain professor of theology named Martin Luther

当时一位叫马丁·路德的神学教授

took advantage of a recent advancement in communications technology,

利用了最近通信技术的进步，

the printing press,

即印刷技术，

to call the Pope the Antichrist,

称教皇为反基督者，

and thus inadvertently launch the Protestant Reformation.

无意中引发了新教改革。

So think of the press, if you will, as the Twitter of the 16th century,

你可以把印刷技术想像成 16 世纪的 Twitter，

and Martin Luther as the original troll.

马丁·路德饰演最初的喷子。

And I'm not exaggerating here.

我并没有夸大其词。

He once declared himself unable to pray

他曾宣称，如果不同时诅咒

without at the same time cursing

他的“反基督徒”，

his "anti-Christian," i.e. Catholic, opponents.

比如天主教反对者，他就没法祈祷。

And of course, those Catholic opponents clutched their pearls

当然，那些天主教反对者 也抓住他们的念珠，

and called for civility then, too,

呼吁礼貌，

but all the while, they gave as good as they got

但同时，他们也尽一切可能

with traditional slurs like "heretic,"

使用了“异教徒”这样侮辱的语言，

and, worst of all, "Protestant,"

或者更甚的，用“新教徒”，

which began in the 16th century as an insult.

这种始于 16 世纪的侮辱性语言。

The thing about civility talk, then as now,

关于礼貌的交谈，跟现在一样，

was that you could call out your opponent for going low,

你可以指责你的对手手段太低劣，

and then take advantage of the moral high ground

然后利用道德制高点

to go as low or lower,

去变低或者更低，

because calling for civility sets up the speaker

因为呼吁文明礼貌把说话者塑造成

as a model of decorum while implicitly, subtly stigmatizing

礼仪的典范， 同时含蓄，巧妙地侮辱

anyone with the temerity to disagree as uncivil.

那些胆敢不同意的人是无礼的。

And so civility talk in the 17th century becomes a really effective way

因此，在 17 世纪， 礼貌性的谈话成为了

for members of the religious establishment

宗教团体成员保持

to silence, suppress, exclude dissenters outside of the established church,

沉默，压制，排除异己的有效方式，

especially when they spoke out against the status quo.

尤其是当他们公开反对现状的时候。

So Anglican ministers could lecture atheists

因此，英国国教的牧师 可以向无神论者

on the offensiveness of their discourse.

宣讲他们的言论的冒犯性。

Everyone could complain about the Quakers

每个人都可以抱怨贵格会教友会

for refusing to doff and don their hats

拒绝脱下他们的帽子

or their "uncouth" practice of shaking hands.

或他们“粗鲁”的握手习惯。

But those accusations of incivility

但这些无礼的指责

pretty soon became pretexts for persecution.

很快就成了迫害的借口。

So far, so familiar, right?

目前为止，听上去很耳熟，对吧？

We see that strategy again and again.

我们一遍又遍的目睹这一策略。

It's used to silence civil rights protesters in the 20th century.

它在 20 世纪被用来 压制民权抗议者。

And I think it explains why partisans on both sides of the aisle

我想这也解释了为什么两党都在

keep reaching for this, frankly, antiquated,

追求这个，坦率的说，是这个过时的，

early modern language of civility

早期现代文明的语言，

precisely when they want to communicate that certain people and certain views

当他们想要表明 某些人，某些观点

are beyond the pale,

是不可理喻的时候，

but they want to save themselves the trouble

但他们想省掉

of actually making an argument.

争论的麻烦。

So no wonder skeptics like me tend to roll our eyes

因此，难怪当倡导对话美德 的呼声开始响起时，

when the calls for conversational virtue begin,

像我这样的怀疑论者往往会翻白眼，

because instead of healing our social and political divisions,

因为与治愈我们 的社会和政治分歧相比，

it seems like so much civility talk is actually making the problem worse.

似乎很多礼貌性的交谈 其实上是火上浇油。

It's saving us the trouble of actually speaking to each other,

它让我们省了彼此切实交谈的麻烦，

allowing us to speak past each other or at each other

让我们不跟谁交谈，又跟谁交谈，

while signaling our superior virtue

同时显示了我们优雅的美德，

and letting the audience know which side we're on.

并让观众知道我们站哪边。

And given this, I think one might be forgiven, as I did,

考虑到这一点，我认为 有人可能会被原谅，就如我做的，

for assuming that because so much civility talk is bullshit,

因为这么多客套话都是废话，

well then, the virtue of civility must be bullshit, too.

那么，礼貌的美德也是胡扯。

But here, again, I think a little historical perspective goes a long way.

但再次声明，我认为一个小小的 历史视角要走很长的路。

Because remember, the same early modern crisis of civility

因为要记住，同样是 早期的现代礼貌危机

that launched the Reformation

引发了宗教改革，

also gave birth to tolerant societies,

也孕育了宽容的社会，

places like Rhode Island, Pennsylvania,

比如宾夕法尼亚州的罗德岛，

and indeed, eventually the United States,

的确，最终轮到了美国，

places that at least aspired to protect disagreement

那些至少希望保护分歧

as well as diversity,

和多样性的地方，

and what made that possible was the virtue of civility.

让这一切成为可能的是礼貌的美德。

What made disagreement tolerable,

让分歧变得可以容忍，

what it made it possible for us to share a life,

让我们能够共享生活，

even when we didn't share a faith,

即使我们没有共同信仰的

was a virtue,

是美德，

but one, I think, that is perhaps less aspirational

但这种美德，在我看来 跟今天那些经常谈论礼貌的人

and a lot more confrontational

所想的那种方式相比，

than the one that people who talk about civility a lot today

可能没有那么令人振奋，

tend to have in mind.

也更具对抗性。

So I like to call that virtue "mere civility."

所以我喜欢称这种美德为 纯粹的礼貌。

You may know it as the virtue that allows us to get through

你可能知道， 正是这种美德让我们可以接受

our relations with an ex-spouse,

我们与前配偶

or a bad neighbor,

或一位坏邻居相处下去，

not to mention a member of the other party.

更不用说另一个党派的成员。

Because to be merely civil is to meet a low bar grudgingly,

因为纯粹的礼貌 只是达到了一个低的门槛，

and that, again, makes sense,

这很合理，

because civility is a virtue that's meant to help us disagree,

因为礼貌是一种美德， 它能帮助我们提出异议，

and as Hobbes told us all those centuries ago,

正如霍布斯在几个世纪前 告诉我们的那样。

disagreeable means unpleasant for a reason.

不友好意味着不愉快是有原因的。

But if it isn't bullshit, what exactly is civility or mere civility?

但如果这不是屁话，那么究竟什么 是礼貌或纯粹礼貌呢？

What does it require?

它要求什么？

Well, to start, it is not and cannot be

首先，它不是，也不能

the same thing as being respectful or polite,

等同于尊重或客气，

because we need civility precisely when we're dealing with those people

因为当我们与那些我们觉得最难、

that we find it the most difficult, or maybe even impossible, to respect.

甚至不可能尊重的人打交道时， 我们需要的正是礼貌。

Similarly, being civil can't be the same as being nice,

同样，礼貌也不能等同于好好先生，

because being nice means not telling people what you really think about them

因为好好先生等于不告诉别人 你对他们错误的观点

or their wrong, wrong views.

的真正的想法。

No, being civil means speaking your mind,

不是，礼貌就是说出你的想法，

but to your opponent's face,

但要在反对者面前，

not behind her back.

而非在背后。

Being merely civil means not pulling our punches,

纯粹礼貌不是撸起拳头，

but at the same time, it means maybe not landing all those punches all at once,

但同时，也不意味着 一下子打完所有这些拳头，

because the point of mere civility

因为纯粹礼貌的意义在于

is to allow us to disagree, to disagree fundamentally,

允许我们从根本上不同意，

but to do so without denying or destroying the possibility of a common life tomorrow

但同时也不拒绝或破坏明天与那些

with the people that we think are standing in our way today.

挡我们路的人共同生活的可能性，

And in that sense, I think civility is actually closely related

从这个意义上说，我认为礼貌实际上

to another virtue, the virtue of courage.

与另一种美德密切相关，那就是勇气。

So mere civility is having the courage to make yourself disagreeable,

纯粹的礼貌就意味着 有勇气让自己变得令人讨厌，

and to stay that way,

并保持这种状态，

but to do so while staying in the room

但这样做的同时，要留在原地，

and staying present to your opponents.

并且要面对你的对手。

And it also means that, sometimes, calling bullshit on people's civility talk

这也意味着，有时候把别人 礼貌性的谈话叫做屁话

is really the only civil thing to do.

是唯一文明的行为。

At least that's what I think.

至少我是这样认为的。

But look, if I've learned anything from studying the long history

但是，如果说我在 研究 17 世纪漫长的

of religious tolerance in the 17th century, it's this:

宗教容忍史中学到了什么，那就是：

if you're talking about civility as a way to avoid an argument,

如果你说礼貌是 避免争吵的一种方法，

to isolate yourself in the more agreeable company

让自己置身于那些惬意的

of the like-minded who already agree with you,

同意你的观点的人的环境中，

if you find yourself never actually speaking to anyone

如果你发现自己从没有切实跟

who really, truly, fundamentally disagrees with you,

真正的，从骨子里，从根儿上 不同意你的人聊聊，

well, you're doing civility wrong.

那么，你表达礼貌的方式就错了。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（鼓掌）