Dena Simmons: How students of color confront impostor syndrome | TED

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Camille Martínez

翻译人员: Tong Li 校对人员: Wenyu Liu

So, my journey began in the Bronx, New York,

我的旅程从纽约市的布朗克斯区开始，

in a one-bedroom apartment,

在一个一居室公寓里，

with my two sisters and immigrant mother.

和我的两个妹妹 还有移民而来的母亲住在一起。

I loved our neighborhood.

我爱我们的社区。

It was lively.

它充满生气。

There was all this merengue blasting,

总会有人跳梅伦格舞，热闹极了，

neighbors socializing on building stoops

街坊邻里在门外的台阶上聊天，

and animated conversations over domino playing.

一边玩儿多米诺骨牌一边兴致勃勃地讨论。

It was home,

那是家，

and it was sweet.

很亲切。

But it wasn't simple.

但事情也并不简单。

In fact, everyone at school knew the block where we lived,

事实上，学校里每个人 都知道我们住的那个街区，

because it was where people came to buy weed and other drugs.

因为人们在那儿 购买大麻和其他毒品。

And with drug-dealing comes conflict,

伴随毒品交易的还有打架斗殴，

so we often went to sleep to the sound of gunshots.

所以我们常常在枪声中入眠。

I spent much of my childhood worried,

我大部分的童年 是在担惊受怕中度过的，

worried about our safety.

担心我们的安全。

And so did our mother.

我们的妈妈也是这样。

She worried that the violence we witnessed would overtake our lives;

她担心我们目睹的暴力 会影响我们的生活；

that our poverty meant

担心贫穷

that the neighbors with whom we lived and shared space

会让和我们住在同一区的邻居

would harm us.

伤害我们。

Our entire life was in the Bronx,

我们之前全部的生活都在布朗克斯区，

but my mother's anxiety spurred her into action,

但是我妈妈的焦虑促使她采取了行动，

and soon we were driving so fast to Connecticut --

不久我们就开车 飞奔到了康涅狄格州——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

to boarding school campuses, with full scholarships in tow.

去了寄宿学校， 还拿到了全额奖学金。

Man, don't underestimate the power of a mother

嘿，当一个母亲下定决心保护孩子安全的时候，

determined to keep her children safe.

永远不要低估她的力量。

(Cheers)

（欢呼）

(Applause)

（掌声）

At boarding school,

在寄宿学校，

for the first time,

第一次，

I was able to sleep without worry.

我可以安心入睡。

I could leave my dorm room unlocked,

我可以不锁宿舍的门，

walk barefoot in the grass,

赤脚走在草地上，

and look up to see a night sky full of stars.

仰望繁星璀璨的夜空。

Happy novelties.

这些都是令人欢欣的新鲜事。

But there were other novelties as well.

但是还有其他的“新鲜事”。

Very quickly, I felt like I didn't belong.

很快，我觉得自己格格不入。

I learned that I didn't speak the right way,

我意识到我说话的方式不对，

and to demonstrate the proper ways of speaking,

为了给我示范正确的说话方式，

my teachers gave me frequent lessons, in public,

我的老师经常在公共场合给我“指导”，

on the appropriate way to enunciate certain words.

教我如何正确吐字。

A teacher once instructed me in the hallway:

有一次一个老师在走廊里指点我说：

"Aaaaaas-king."

“Aaaaaas-king。”

She said this loudly.

她大声地说。

"Dena, it's not 'axing,' like you're running around with an axe.

“德娜，不是‘axing’， 那样说就好像你拿了把斧子到处跑一样。

That's silly."

你那么说很傻。”

Now at this point, you can imagine the snickers of my classmates,

此时此刻，你们可以想象 我的同学们在暗中窃笑，

but she continued:

但是她还接着说：

"Think about breaking the word into 'ass' and 'king,'

“想想把这个单词分成‘ass’和‘king’， （译注：ass有屁股、笨蛋之意）

and then put the two together to say it correctly --

然后再把两个合到一起 准确地念出来——

'Asking.'"

‘Asking’ 。”

There were some other moments that reminded me that I didn't belong.

还有一些其他的时候 我觉得我不属于那里。

Once, I walked into a classmate's dorm room,

有一次，我走到一个同学的宿舍，

and I watched her watch her valuables around me.

发现她盯着我周围属于她的东西

Like, why would she do that? I thought to myself.

她为什么那样做？ 我这样问自己。

And then there was the time

还有一次

when another classmate walked into my dorm room,

另一个同学来我的宿舍，

and yelled, "Ew!" as I was applying hair grease to my scalp.

喊道，“诶哟喂！” 当时我正在往头皮上抹发乳。

There is emotional damage done when young people can't be themselves,

当年轻人们不能做自己

when they are forced to edit who they are in order to be acceptable.

却为了被别人接纳而被迫改变自己的时候， 是会有情绪伤害的。

It's a kind of violence.

那是一种暴力。

Ultimately, I'm a quintessential success story.

最终，我成了一个成功故事的典范。

I attended boarding school and college in New England,

我读上了新英格兰的寄宿高中和大学，

studied abroad in Chile

去智利留过学，

and returned to the Bronx to be a middle school teacher.

回到布朗克斯区， 成为了一名中学老师。

I received a Truman Scholarship,

我得过杜鲁门奖学金，

a Fulbright and a Soros Fellowship.

福布莱特奖学金和索罗斯奖学金。

And I could list more.

我还可以列出来更多。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But I won't.

但我不会。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I earned my doctorate at Columbia University.

我在哥伦比亚大学获得了博士学位。

(Cheers)

（欢呼）

(Applause)

（掌声）

And then I landed a job at Yale.

接着我在耶鲁找到了一份工作。

(Applause)

（掌声）

I am proud of everything that I've been able to accomplish

我为我迄今为止 在旅程中所取得的这些成就

on my journey thus far.

而感到骄傲。

I have eternal imposter syndrome.

但我患有长期的“冒名顶替症候群”。

Either I've been invited because I'm a token,

我觉得我被邀请，或是因为我是个代表性人物，

which really isn't about me,

但这和我个人没有什么关系，

but rather, about a box someone needed to check off.

而是需要有我这样的（有色）人种到场。

Or, I am exceptional,

又或者，我是个特例，

which means I've had to leave the people I love behind.

就是说，我不得不把我爱的人们甩在后面。

It's the price that I and so many others pay for learning while black.

这就是身为黑人的我和其他黑人 为学习而付出的代价。

(Applause)

（掌声）

I police myself all the time.

我一直自我监督。

Are my pants too tight?

我的裤子是不是太紧了？

Should I wear my hair up or in a fro?

我是应该把头发扎起来 还是扎短的小卷发。

Should I speak up for myself,

我应该为自己发声吗，

or will the power of my words be reduced to: "She's angry"?

不过我的语气会不会被人认为 “她生气了？”

Why did I have to leave the Bronx

为什么我必须离开布朗克斯区

to gain access to a better education?

去接受更好的教育？

And why, in the process of getting that better education,

在接受更好的教育的过程中，

did I have to endure the trauma of erasing what made me, me --

为什么我一定要忍受痛苦？

a black girl from the Bronx, raised by an Antiguan mother?

一个被安提瓜母亲养育的 来自布朗克斯区的黑人女孩，这就是我啊。

So when I think about our current education reform initiatives,

所以当我想到 我们当今的教育改革，

I can't help asking:

我不禁要问：

What are our students of color learning about themselves?

我们的有色人种学生学到了 关于他们自己的什么？

Three -- three decades of research reveal

三十年的调查研究显示

that students of color are suspended and expelled

有色人种的学生被停课 和开除的概率

at a rate three times greater than white students,

比白人学生高出三倍多，

and are punished in harsher ways for the same infractions.

并且在违反相同规定时 有色人种的学生会受到更严厉的惩罚。

They also learn this through the absence of their lives and narratives

课本中缺少关于他们的生活叙述，

in the curricula.

也让他们意识到了这一点。

The Cooperative Children's Book Center did a review of nearly 4,000 books

儿童读物合作中心对近四千本书进行了评估，

and found that only three percent were about African-Americans.

发现只有百分之三 是关于非裔美国人的。

And they further learn this

他们发现和自己一样的老师也很少

through the lack of teachers that look like them.

这也印证了他们的想法。

An analysis of data

来自国家教育统计中心的

from the National Center for Education Statistics

一项数据分析显示

found that 45 percent of our nation's pre-K to high school students

在我们国家从学前班到高中

有色人种的学生 占百分之四十五，

were people of color,

while only 17 percent of our teachers are.

而有色人种老师 仅占百分之十七。

Our youth of color pay a profound price

有色人种的青年 付出的代价很高

when their schooling sends them the message

当他们接受的教育 传达给他们这样的信息：

that they must be controlled,

他们必须被约束，

that they must leave their identities at home

而且他们只能在家里做自己，

in order to be successful.

只有这样才能成功。

Every child deserves an education

每个孩子都理应接受教育

that guarantees the safety to learn

接受那种保证他们学习的安全

in the comfort of one's own skin.

并且不为他们自己的肤色觉得羞耻的教育。

(Applause)

（掌声）

It is possible to create emotionally and physically safe classrooms

创造出情感和身体上安全的 课堂是有可能的，

where students also thrive academically.

学生们在这样的课堂里 茁壮成长，学有所成。

I know, because I did it in my classroom

我知道，因为在我回到 布朗克斯区教书时，

when I returned to teach in the Bronx.

我在我的课堂就是这么做的。

So what did that look like?

所以那是怎么样的情景？

I centered my instruction

我的教育围绕着

on the lives, histories and identities of my students.

我的学生们的生命、历史和身份展开。

And I did all of this because I wanted my students to know

我这样做，是因为 我想让我的学生们知道

that everyone around them was supporting them

他们周围的每个人都支持他们

to be their best self.

支持他们去做最好的自己。

So while I could not control the instability of their homes,

因此虽然我无法确保他们的家庭是否稳定，

the uncertainty of their next meal,

他们的下一餐能否确定，

or the loud neighbors that kept them from sleep,

也无法控制让他们无法入睡的吵闹的邻居。

I provided them with a loving classroom

但是我可以给他们一个 充满爱的课堂，

that made them feel proud of who they are,

使他们为自己的身份感到自豪，

that made them know that they mattered.

这让他们知道自己是重要的。

You know,

你知道吗，

every time I hear or say the word "asking,"

每次我听到或说出 “asking”这个单词时，

I am in high school again.

我就感觉我又回到高中了。

I am thinking about "ass" and "king"

我就想到“ass”和“king”，

and putting the two together so that I speak in a way

把这两个单词组合到一起，

where someone in power will want to listen.

通过这种说话方式， 有权力的人才会想听我讲话。

There is a better way,

但有更好的方式，

one that doesn't force kids of color into a double bind;

这种方式不会让 有色人种的孩子进退两难；

a way for them to preserve their ties

这种方式能使他们

to their families, homes and communities;

和自己的家人、家庭 以及群体保持联系；

a way that teaches them to trust their instincts

这种方式才能让他们相信自己的直觉

and to have faith in their own creative genius.

并对他们自己的天才创造力充满信心。

Thank you.

谢谢大家。

(Applause)

（掌声）