Bryce Dallas Howard: How to Preserve Your Private Life in the Age of Social Media | TED

Prevodilac: Tijana Vrtelova Lektor: Milenka Okuka

In 2016, I filmed an episode of "Black Mirror"

Godine 2016, snimila sam epizodu serije “Crno ogledalo”

called "Nosedive."

pod nazivom “Nosedive”.

It's about a woman named Lacie who lives in a futuristic world

Reč je o ženi koja se zove Lejsi i živi u svetu budućnosti

where everyone rates your social interactions.

gde svi ocenjuju vaše društvene interakcije.

And for anyone who hasn't seen it, a little spoiler.

Za one koji je nisu videli, mali spojler.

I basically have a nervous breakdown, trying really hard to get liked.

Ja dobijam nervni slom veoma se trudeći da se dopadnem.

For many, the episode felt a little too familiar.

Mnogima je epizoda delovala veoma poznato.

Until recently, only a small fraction of the human population

Do nedavno, samo je mali procenat ljudske populacije

lived their lives publicly.

živeo svoj život javno.

And while we haven’t entered the “Black Mirror” world yet,

Premda nismo još uvek ušli u svet “Crnog ogledala”,

we’ve entered a new era.

započela je nova era.

Everyone has access to a global audience.

Svako ima pristup svetskoj publici.

We all live in public.

Svi živimo javno.

Some more willingly than others.

Neki radije nego drugi.

There's pressure to share more of ourselves than we want.

Prisutan je pritisak da o sebi delimo više nego što želimo.

We often feel we have no other choice.

Često se osećamo kao da nemamo izbora.

To be relevant. To fit in. To get ahead.

Kako bismo ostali bitni. Uklopili se. Napredovali.

To be trusted and liked. Accepted and understood.

Ostali vredni poverenja i dopadljivi. Prihvaćeni i shvaćeni.

This new compulsion toward self-exposure

Ova nova kompulzivna potreba za samoizlaganjem

is possibly the biggest social experiment in history.

verovatno je najveći društveni eksperiment u istoriji.

We're making life-altering decisions about our personal boundaries

Donosimo odluke o našim ličnim granicama, koje menjaju naše živote

with no guidance and no precedent.

bez uputstva i bez presedana.

Fortunately, there is a blueprint.

Srećom, postoji šema.

Anyone who's lived in the public eye

Svako ko je ikada živeo u žiži javnosti

as an athlete, a politician or an entertainer

kao sportista, političar, zabavljač.

has navigated a version of this.

prošao je kroz neku verziju ove situacije.

My dad has been a public figure since he was five years old,

Moja tata je javna ličnost od svoje pete godine:

as an actor, a child actor, and later as a director.

kao glumac, dete glumac i kasnije kao režiser.

And I've been an actor since my early twenties.

Ja sam glumica od svojih ranih dvadesetih.

In fact, my family has been in the business of entertainment

Zapravo, moja porodica je u zabavljačkom poslu

for three generations,

već tri generacije,

contending with how to handle putting ourselves out there

boreći se sa tim kako da rukovodi sopstvenom izloženošću

for the last 70 years.

poslednjih 70 godina.

My mom, Cheryl, never wanted to be in the public eye.

Moja mama, Šeril, nikada nije htela da bude u centru pažnje javnosti.

She just happened to love a man who is.

Jendostavno je volela čoveka koji tamo jeste.

My mom met my dad, Ron, when they were 16.

Moja mama je upoznala mog tatu, Rona, kada su oboje imali 16 godina.

And by that point she had flown solo in an airplane,

Do tog trenutka, ona je letela sama avionom,

joined an all-boys gun club,

pridružila se čisto muškom streljačkom klubu,

gotten in tons of fist fights

učestvovala u gomili tuča

and helped her single dad raise her younger sisters.

i pomogla svom samohranom ocu da odgaji njene mlađe sestre.

This is to say, my mom was a passionate, busy young person

Hoću reći, moja mama je bila jedna strastvena, zauzeta mlada osoba

who initially ignored the attention of the famous boy in her high school.

koja je prvo ignorisala pažnju poznatog momka iz njene srednje škole.

It was the early 70s,

To su bile rane ’70-te,

and my dad was known for playing Opie in the "Andy Griffith Show,"

moj tata je bio poznat po ulozi Opija u seriji “Šou Endija Grifita”,

and he'd soon film a pilot for a new show called "Happy Days."

i ubrzo nakon toga snima pilot epizodu nove serije pod nazivom “Srećni dani”.

Much of this was lost on my mom.

Većina ovoga nije doticala moju mamu.

The only thing she watched on TV was "Star Trek."

Jedino što je gledala na televiziji bile su “Zvezdane staze”.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

It's true.

Živa istina.

After they finally joined forces,

Nakon što su konačno udružili snage,

after he actually proposed three times,

nakon što ju je on zapravo tri puta zaprosio

and had kids,

i nakon što su dobili decu,

my mom transformed into a full-on warrior woman,

moja mama se pretvorila u pravu ženu-ratnicu,

ready to protect.

spremnu za odbranu.

But it wasn't until

Međutim, sve dok nisam

I was given a movie script at preschool

u predškolskom dobila filmski scenario

as a way to get it to my dad ...

kako bih ga prosledila tati...

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

that my mom realized his visibility was extending to the entire family,

moja mama nije shvatala da se njegova vidljivost širi na celu porodicu

and that she would need to prepare us for something

i da će ona morati da nas pripremi za nešto

she herself had never experienced.

što ni ona sama nikada nije iskusila.

Growing up in the public eye.

Odrastanje u žiži javnosti.

And this entailed some extreme parenting tactics.

Ovo je podrazumevalo ekstremne roditeljske taktike.

First. No coddling, like ever.

Prvo: bez tetošenja, ikakvog.

As a kid, I was terrified of snakes,

Kao dete sam se jako plašila zmija,

so my mom got me a pet snake.

pa mi je mama nabavila zmiju za ljubimca.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

When I blanked at my first piano recital and ran offstage crying,

Kada sam na svom prvom klavirskom recitalu pobegla sa scene plačući,

my mom insisted I stay and support my peers.

moja mama je insistirala da ostanem i podržim svoje vršnjake.

Years later, when my son grimaced at a chipmunk carcass,

Godinama kasnije, kad se moj sin namrštio na leš veverice

our cat had left in the driveway,

koji je naša mačka ostavila na prilazu za kola,

Cheryl made him clean up the remains.

Šeril ga je naterala da počisti ostatke.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

My mom wanted to toughen us up

Moja mama je htela da nas ojača

so we'd have more courage and less fear

kako bismo bili hrabriji i sa manje straha

when dealing with uncomfortable situations.

se nosili sa neprijatnim situacijama.

So that meant zero coddling.

To je značilo bez ikakvog tetošenja.

Put your comfort away, she'd preach.

Odloži svoj komfor, propovedala je.

Any challenge that arose was an opportunity to find your sea legs.

Svaki izazov koji bi iskrsao bio bi prilika da nađemo svoj balans.

Next up, confidence comes from character,

Zatim, samopouzdanje dolazi od karaktera

not our looks.

ne od našeg izgleda.

Cheryl was a giant buzzkill.

Šeril je odlično znala da nam pokvari raspoloženje.

When she noticed me glancing in the mirror as a kid,

Kad je primetila da se kao dete posmatram u ogledalu

she decided to nip that in the bud immediately

odlučila je da to odmah saseče u korenu

by covering up all the mirrors in the house.

tako što je pokrila sva ogledala u kući.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

A loving compliment was, "You have wonderful character,"

Kompliment pun ljubavi je bio: “Ti imaš divan karakter”,

not "You're beautiful."

ne “Ti si lepa.”

Oh, and character was built by doing chores.

E, da: karakter se gradio obavljanjem kućnih poslova.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

When I wasn't mucking out the goat barn, I was shearing sheep, changing tires,

Kada nisam čistila staju za koze, šišala sam ovce, menjala gume,

scrubbing toilets, volunteering, shoveling snow.

ribala toalete, volontirala, čistila sneg.

Cheryl believed that hard work,

Šeril je verovala da težak rad,

particularly in service of others,

naročito u službi drugih,

breeds confidence,

gradi samopouzdanje,

a trait we need more and more of

osobinu koja nam je sve potrebnija

when exposing ourselves to any kind of public attention.

kada se izlažemo bilo kakvoj vrsti pažnje javnosti.

But perhaps the most important lesson was:

Međutim, možda najvažnija lekcija bila je:

a private life makes a public life worth living.

privatan život čini javni život vrednim življenja.

Cheryl saw that while fame came with many blessings,

Šeril je videla da, iako slava dolazi uz mnoge blagoslove,

there was an impact and a potential cost to living your life in public.

postojao je uticaj i potencijalna cena života pred očima javnosti.

And so more than anything, she, like my grandparents before her,

Tako da je ona, kao i moji baka i deda, više od svega

emphasized the value of privacy.

isticala vrednost privatnosti.

Because cultivating a private life is precious.

Negovanje privatnog života je dragoceno.

It's sacred.

Sveto.

Its value is inherent in what you don't share.

Njegova vrednost je neodvojiva od onoga što ne delite.

What you withhold.

Šta zadržavate.

And for whom.

I za koga.

The world is now one big small town.

Svet je danas jedno veliko selo.

But within that virtual town square, there are tiers of relationships,

Ali u okviru tog virtualnog trga nalaze se različiti nivoi odnosa,

degrees of intimacy,

stepeni intimnosti,

and everyone deserves a different amount of you,

i svako zaslužuje različitu količinu vas,

a different side.

različite strane.

Now, where those boundaries lie

Sad, gde se nalaze te granice

is up to you.

poptuno je na vama.

But in order to make those decisions,

Međutim, da bismo doneli te odluke,

we must all be our own Cheryl,

svi moramo biti sopstvena Šeril,

our own protectors.

naši sopstveni zaštitnici.

Because it's tempting to think that the more I share,

Jer je primamljivo misliti da što ja više delim,

the more ways you have to connect with me.

vi imate više načina da se sa mnom povežete.

But there's a specialness in knowing

Međutim, postoji nešto posebno

that whatever I share with my husband or my kids or my best friend

u saznanju da šta god da delim sa svojim mužem, decom ili prijateljem,

is just for them and no one else.

to je samo za njih i nikoga drugog.

Without that inner circle, we're left with shallowness and a void.

Bez tog unutrašnjeg kruga ostaje nam samo plitkost i praznina.

We're known, but never truly known, even to ourselves.

Poznati smo, ali nikad odistinski poznati, čak ni nama samima.

Living in public asks us to be brave and bold,

Javni život tera nas da budemo hrabri i odvažni,

but preserving a private life empowers us to take those chances.

ali čuvanje privatnog života osnažuje nas da rizikujemo.

So when my 15-year-old son started a YouTube channel

Tako da, kada je moj 15-godišnji sin napravio Jutjub kanal,

and my 10-year-old daughter asked to join TikTok,

a moja 10-godišnja ćerka pitala da otvori nalog na Tiktoku,

I asked myself, "What would Cheryl do?"

zapitala sam se: “Šta bi Šeril uradila?”

As much as I want to protect my kids,

Ma koliko želela da zaštitim decu

I know encouraging them to opt out is not the answer.

znam da ohrabrivanje da se ne priključe nije rešenje.

So I don't want my kids in the digital fray

Ne želim svoju decu u digitalnim sukobima

until they know who they are.

dok ne znaju ko su.

But you develop your sense of self by participating in the world.

Međutim, razvijate osećaj o sebi tako što učestvujete u svetu.

So I try to help them discover themselves through these technologies,

Tako da im ja pomažem da otkriju sebe kroz ove tehnologije,

not despite them.

a ne uprkos njima.

And I give myself that same protection and motherly advice

A sebi dajem istu zaštitu i majčinski savet

by honoring two main principles.

poštujući dva glavna principa.

The two day delay.

Odlaganje od dva dana.

So whatever I'm experiencing,

Dakle, za sve što iskusim

I try to wait 48 hours before posting and sharing

pokušam da sačekam 48 sati pre nego što podelim na mreži

because that way I can be present in private with the people I love

jer na taj način mogu da budem prisutna privatno sa ljudima koje volim

before calculating how I'm going to publicly position it.

pre nego što proračunam kako da to javno objavim.

And post with purpose.

Drugo: podeli sa namerom.

Before I share, I ask myself: Why? What's the purpose?

Pre nego što podelim zapitam se: zašto? Koja je namera?

And most importantly, how does it serve the people I love?

I najvažnije: na koji način to služi ljudima koje volim?

The dangers and opportunities of living a life in public

Opasnosti i mogućnosti života u žiži javnosti

existed, honestly, way longer before any of this.

postojale su, iskreno, mnogo pre svega ovoga.

But it's important to know what my family knew then and knows now.

Ali važno je znati što je moja porodica znala onda, a zna i sada:

That your true value is measured by the richness of your private life.

da se vaša prava vrednost meri bogatstvom vašeg privatnog života.

The piece of you that only a select few,

Komadić vas kome samo nekoliko odabranih,

or perhaps only you, has access to.

ili možda samo vi, imate pristup.

Because the legacy we create in private

Jer nasleđe koje privatno stvaramo

is as powerful and lasting as any public accolade.

podjednako je snažno i trajno kao bilo kakvo javno priznanje.

Perhaps even more so.

Možda i više.

Thank you so much.

Mnogo vam hvala.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)