Bryce Dallas Howard: How to Preserve Your Private Life in the Age of Social Media | TED

譯者: 至磊Zi Le 黃Ng 審譯者: Helen Chang

In 2016, I filmed an episode of "Black Mirror"

2016 年，我參演《黑鏡》的一集，

called "Nosedive."

叫做〈急轉直下〉。

It's about a woman named Lacie who lives in a futuristic world

劇情在講未來的世界 住著一個名叫蕾西的女人，

where everyone rates your social interactions.

那裡每個人都會 給你的社交互動評分。

And for anyone who hasn't seen it, a little spoiler.

如果你們還沒看過， 我會有一點劇透。

I basically have a nervous breakdown, trying really hard to get liked.

基本上我神經衰弱， 百般努力想討人喜歡。

For many, the episode felt a little too familiar.

對很多人來說， 這一集有點太似曾相識。

Until recently, only a small fraction of the human population

到最近為止，只有很少人 過著公開的生活。

lived their lives publicly.

And while we haven’t entered the “Black Mirror” world yet,

不過雖然我們的世界 還沒變得像《黑鏡》那樣，

we’ve entered a new era.

我們已經進入一個新時代。

Everyone has access to a global audience.

人人都有途徑 可以通往全球的閱聽人。

We all live in public.

我們都公開地過日子。

Some more willingly than others.

有些人比其他人更為積極。

There's pressure to share more of ourselves than we want.

一股壓力讓我們儘管沒那麼想要， 也要分享自己的生活。

We often feel we have no other choice.

我們時常覺得別無選擇，

To be relevant. To fit in. To get ahead.

要有影響力，融入社會，獲得成功，

To be trusted and liked. Accepted and understood.

要被信任、喜愛、接受、了解。

This new compulsion toward self-exposure

這股自我揭露的驅動力

is possibly the biggest social experiment in history.

可能是史上最大的社會實驗。

We're making life-altering decisions about our personal boundaries

我們正在針對人際界線 做出影響一生的決定，

with no guidance and no precedent.

卻沒有引導和先例。

Fortunately, there is a blueprint.

所幸我們有一張藍圖。

Anyone who's lived in the public eye

生活在公眾注目之下的人，

as an athlete, a politician or an entertainer

例如運動員、政治人物、藝人，

has navigated a version of this.

率先經歷了這個世界的樣貌。

My dad has been a public figure since he was five years old,

我的父親從五歲時 就是一位公眾人物，

as an actor, a child actor, and later as a director.

他是演員、童星，後來成為了導演。

And I've been an actor since my early twenties.

而我從二十歲出頭時就開始當演員。

In fact, my family has been in the business of entertainment

事實上，我的家族 從事娛樂業已有三代之久，

for three generations,

contending with how to handle putting ourselves out there

過去七十年來都在處理 如何面對被公開的生活。

for the last 70 years.

My mom, Cheryl, never wanted to be in the public eye.

我的母親謝麗爾 從來不想受到公眾的注意。

She just happened to love a man who is.

她只是剛好愛上 一位是公眾人物的男人。

My mom met my dad, Ron, when they were 16.

我母親認識我父親朗 · 霍華時， 他們才十六歲。

And by that point she had flown solo in an airplane,

當時她就會獨自搭乘飛機，

joined an all-boys gun club,

加入了全由男孩組成的射擊俱樂部，

gotten in tons of fist fights

打過無數次架，

and helped her single dad raise her younger sisters.

幫助她的單親爸爸養育她的妹妹們。

This is to say, my mom was a passionate, busy young person

換言之，我的母親是個 熱情、忙碌的年輕人，

who initially ignored the attention of the famous boy in her high school.

一開始根本沒注意到 學校裡那位出名的男孩。

It was the early 70s,

那是一九七○年代初，

and my dad was known for playing Opie in the "Andy Griffith Show,"

我父親因於《安迪 · 格里菲斯秀》 飾演奧佩而成名，

and he'd soon film a pilot for a new show called "Happy Days."

很快又參演了新節目 《歡樂時光》的試播。

Much of this was lost on my mom.

這些我母親都沒有關注。

The only thing she watched on TV was "Star Trek."

她在電視只上看過《星際爭霸戰》。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

It's true.

這是真的。

After they finally joined forces,

我父親求婚了三次， 他們才終於在一起，

after he actually proposed three times,

and had kids,

然後有了孩子，

my mom transformed into a full-on warrior woman,

我的母親變成全心全力的女戰士，

ready to protect.

準備捍衛家人。

But it wasn't until

但一直到我幼稚園時， 有人給我一份電影劇本，

I was given a movie script at preschool

as a way to get it to my dad ...

請我轉交給父親，

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

that my mom realized his visibility was extending to the entire family,

我母親才意識到父親的能見度 會延伸到整個家庭，

and that she would need to prepare us for something

所以她需要幫我們準備一些 她自己從未經歷的事物：

she herself had never experienced.

Growing up in the public eye.

成長於公眾的目光之下。

And this entailed some extreme parenting tactics.

這就有必要實行 一些極端的教養策略。

First. No coddling, like ever.

第一，永遠不能嬌生慣養。

As a kid, I was terrified of snakes,

小時候，我很怕蛇，

so my mom got me a pet snake.

所以母親給我一隻蛇當成寵物。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

When I blanked at my first piano recital and ran offstage crying,

當我在鋼琴獨奏會上腦袋空白， 跑下舞臺哭泣時，

my mom insisted I stay and support my peers.

母親堅持要我留下來支持同儕。

Years later, when my son grimaced at a chipmunk carcass,

多年後，我兒子對著家裡的貓 留在車道上的花栗鼠屍體扮鬼臉，

our cat had left in the driveway,

Cheryl made him clean up the remains.

謝麗爾叫他清理那些骸骨。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

My mom wanted to toughen us up

母親希望我們變得堅強，

so we'd have more courage and less fear

在面對不舒服的情境時

when dealing with uncomfortable situations.

就能更有勇氣，比較不會害怕。

So that meant zero coddling.

這代表一點嬌生慣養都不能有。

Put your comfort away, she'd preach.

她會說：「別要求舒服。」

Any challenge that arose was an opportunity to find your sea legs.

所有挑戰都可以讓你學著 在面對困難時站穩腳跟。

Next up, confidence comes from character,

再者，自信源於人格而非外貌。

not our looks.

Cheryl was a giant buzzkill.

謝麗爾是個非常掃興的人。

When she noticed me glancing in the mirror as a kid,

當她注意到小時候的我會照鏡子，

she decided to nip that in the bud immediately

就立刻決定要防微杜漸，

by covering up all the mirrors in the house.

把家裡所有鏡子都蓋起來。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

A loving compliment was, "You have wonderful character,"

愛的讚美是「妳有美好的人格」，

not "You're beautiful."

而非「妳真美」。

Oh, and character was built by doing chores.

噢還有，人格建立於做家事之上。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

When I wasn't mucking out the goat barn, I was shearing sheep, changing tires,

我如果不是在打掃羊舍， 就是在剪羊毛、換輪胎、

scrubbing toilets, volunteering, shoveling snow.

刷馬桶、當志工、鏟雪。

Cheryl believed that hard work,

謝麗爾相信艱苦的勞動，

particularly in service of others,

尤其是為他人服務的那種，

breeds confidence,

可以培養自信心，

a trait we need more and more of

我們非常需要用這種特質 來面對各式各樣的公眾關注。

when exposing ourselves to any kind of public attention.

But perhaps the most important lesson was:

但最重要的教訓或許是：

a private life makes a public life worth living.

私人生活造就了 值得一過的公開生活。

Cheryl saw that while fame came with many blessings,

謝麗爾知道， 儘管名聲會帶來很多幸福，

there was an impact and a potential cost to living your life in public.

卻也伴隨將生活公開的 影響和潛在代價。

And so more than anything, she, like my grandparents before her,

因此，她就像我的祖父母一樣， 重視隱私的價值勝於一切。

emphasized the value of privacy.

Because cultivating a private life is precious.

因為建立私人的生活是很珍貴的，

It's sacred.

那很神聖。

Its value is inherent in what you don't share.

隱私的價值在於

你沒有分享的事物，

What you withhold.

你保留了什麼，

And for whom.

以及為誰而保留。

The world is now one big small town.

現在的世界就像一座地球村，

But within that virtual town square, there are tiers of relationships,

但在這座虛擬的村子裡， 關係有不同的層次，

degrees of intimacy,

親密度也不一樣，

and everyone deserves a different amount of you,

每個人值得你投注不同的心力，

a different side.

展現相異的面向。

Now, where those boundaries lie

這些界線要劃在哪裡操之在你，

is up to you.

But in order to make those decisions,

但為了做出決定，

we must all be our own Cheryl,

我們都必須成為自己的謝麗爾，

our own protectors.

自己的守護者。

Because it's tempting to think that the more I share,

我們很容易誤以為自己分享得越多， 對方就有越多方式與自己建立連結。

the more ways you have to connect with me.

But there's a specialness in knowing

但需要特別認清的是，

that whatever I share with my husband or my kids or my best friend

無論我向丈父、孩子、 好朋友分享了什麼，

is just for them and no one else.

都是只分享給他們， 而非為了其他人。

Without that inner circle, we're left with shallowness and a void.

沒有這個親密的小圈圈， 我們的生活就會膚淺而空虛。

We're known, but never truly known, even to ourselves.

我們為人所知，但從未被真正理解， 即便是我們對自己也一樣。

Living in public asks us to be brave and bold,

公開地生活讓我們必須勇敢無懼，

but preserving a private life empowers us to take those chances.

但保留私人的生活 讓我們有能力冒險。

So when my 15-year-old son started a YouTube channel

所以，當我十五歲的兒子 開始經營 YouTube 頻道，

and my 10-year-old daughter asked to join TikTok,

當我十歲的女兒說她也想要用抖音，

I asked myself, "What would Cheryl do?"

我問自己：「謝麗爾會做什麼？」

As much as I want to protect my kids,

我想盡力保護孩子，

I know encouraging them to opt out is not the answer.

但我知道阻止他們參與不會是答案。

So I don't want my kids in the digital fray

我不希望孩子在認識自己前 就陷入目眩神迷的數位世界，

until they know who they are.

But you develop your sense of self by participating in the world.

但建立自我感的方式就是踏入世界。

So I try to help them discover themselves through these technologies,

所以我試著幫助他們 透過這些科技發現自己，

not despite them.

而非互相衝突。

And I give myself that same protection and motherly advice

我也給予自己同等的保護 和母親般的建議，

by honoring two main principles.

遵循兩項大原則。

The two day delay.

延後兩天。

So whatever I'm experiencing,

無論我體驗了什麼，

I try to wait 48 hours before posting and sharing

我都先等待四十八小時 才發文、分享，

because that way I can be present in private with the people I love

因為這樣我就能 先私密地與所愛的人相處，

before calculating how I'm going to publicly position it.

以後才要思考我要如何 給此事一個公開的定位。

And post with purpose.

另一個原則是發文要有目的。

Before I share, I ask myself: Why? What's the purpose?

我分享之前會問自己： 為何分享？目的是什麼？

And most importantly, how does it serve the people I love?

最重要的是，分享這件事 對我所愛的人有何意義？

The dangers and opportunities of living a life in public

老實說，生活公開的危險和機會

existed, honestly, way longer before any of this.

在社群媒體之前早就有了。

But it's important to know what my family knew then and knows now.

但重要的是要明白

我的家人當時知道，現在也知道的，

That your true value is measured by the richness of your private life.

那就是你真正的價值 取決於私人生活富足與否，

The piece of you that only a select few,

只有少數人——也許只有你自己——

or perhaps only you, has access to.

才接觸得到的你。

Because the legacy we create in private

因為我們在私人生活所創造的事物

is as powerful and lasting as any public accolade.

就和公眾的讚譽一樣有力而長久，

Perhaps even more so.

甚或在其之上。

Thank you so much.

謝謝你們。

(Applause)

（掌聲）