"Everything happens for a reason" -- and other lies I've loved | Kate Bowler | TED

5,915,806 views

2019-07-02 ・ TED


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"Everything happens for a reason" -- and other lies I've loved | Kate Bowler | TED

5,915,806 views ・ 2019-07-02

TED


μ•„λž˜ μ˜λ¬Έμžλ§‰μ„ λ”λΈ”ν΄λ¦­ν•˜μ‹œλ©΄ μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.

λ²ˆμ—­: Gichung Lee κ²€ν† : Jihyeon J. Kim
00:12
There is some medical news that nobody, absolutely nobody,
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λˆ„κ΅¬λ„, μ–΄λŠ λˆ„κ΅¬λ„ 듀을 μ€€λΉ„κ°€ λ˜μ§€ μ•Šμ€
00:16
is prepared to hear.
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건강 μ†Œμ‹μ΄ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:18
I certainly wasn't.
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저도 λ§ˆμ°¬κ°€μ§€μ˜€μ£ .
00:20
It was three years ago that I got a call in my office
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μ‚Όλ…„ μ „, λ‹Ήμ‹œ μŠ€μΊ” 검사 결과와 κ΄€λ ¨ν•΄μ„œ
00:24
with the test results of a recent scan.
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μ „ν™”λ₯Ό λ°›μ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:27
I was 35 and finally living the life I wanted.
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μ €λŠ” 35μ‚΄μ΄μ—ˆκ³  λ§ˆμΉ¨λ‚΄ μ œκ°€ μ›ν•˜λŠ” 삢을 μ‚΄κ³  μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:31
I married my high school sweetheart
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μ €λŠ” 고등학ꡐ λ•Œ λ§Œλ‚œ 연인과 κ²°ν˜Όν–ˆκ³ 
00:33
and had finally gotten pregnant after years of infertility.
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λͺ‡ λ…„λ™μ•ˆ λΆˆμž„μ„ κ²ͺ은 λ’€ λ§ˆμΉ¨λ‚΄ μž„μ‹ ν•œ μƒνƒœμ˜€μ£ .
00:38
And then suddenly we had a Zach,
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그리고 μš°λ¦¬λŠ” κ°‘μžκΈ° 자크λ₯Ό κ°–κ²Œ λμ–΄μš”
00:41
a perfect one-year-old boy/dinosaur,
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이 μ™„λ²½ν•œ ν•œ μ‚΄ 짜리 λ‚¨μžμ•„μ΄λŠ”
00:44
depending on his mood.
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자기의 기뢄에 따라 곡룑이 λ˜κΈ°λ„ ν•˜μ£ .
00:46
And having a Zach suited me perfectly.
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그리고 자크λ₯Ό 가진 건 μ €μ—κ²Œ μ™„λ²½ν•œ μΌμ΄μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
00:51
I had gotten the first job I applied for in academia,
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μ €λŠ” ν•™κ³„μ—μ„œ μ§€μ›ν•œ 일을 맑아 첫 일을 ν•˜κ²Œ λμ–΄μš”.
00:55
land of a thousand crushed dreams.
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수천 개의 꿈이 μ§“λ°ŸνžˆλŠ” 이 λ•…μ—μ„œμš”.
00:58
And there I was,
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그리고 κ±°κΈ°μ—μ„œ
00:59
working at my dream job
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꿈의 직μž₯을 λ‹€λ‹ˆκ³ 
01:01
with my little baby
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제 아이와
01:03
and the man I had imported from Canada.
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μ œκ°€ μΊλ‚˜λ‹€ μˆ˜μž…μ‚° λ‚¨μžμ™€ ν•¨κ»˜ μ‚΄λ©΄μ„œμš”.
01:06
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
01:07
But a few months before, I'd started feeling pain in my stomach
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ λͺ‡ 달 μ „λΆ€ν„°, μ €λŠ” 배에 톡증을 느끼기 μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
01:10
and had gone to every expert to find out why.
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μ™œ κ·ΈλŸ°μ§€ μ•Œμ•„λ‚΄κΈ° μœ„ν•΄ μ „λ¬Έκ°€λ₯Ό μ°Ύμ•„κ°”μ§€λ§Œ
01:13
No one could tell me.
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아무도 μ™œ κ·ΈλŸ°μ§€ 말해주지 λͺ»ν–ˆμ£ .
01:15
And then, out of the blue,
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그런데 κ°‘μžκΈ°
01:17
some physician's assistant called me at work
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ν•œ μ˜μ‚¬μ˜ 쑰무사가 제 직μž₯으둜 μ „ν™”λ₯Ό ν•΄μ„œ
01:21
to tell me that I had stage IV cancer,
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μ œκ°€ 4κΈ° 암에 κ±Έλ Έλ‹€λŠ” 사싀을 λ§ν•΄μ£Όμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:24
and that I was going to need to come to the hospital right away.
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그리고 μ œκ°€ λ°”λ‘œ λ³‘μ›μœΌλ‘œ μ™€μ•Όλ§Œ ν•œλ‹€κ³  ν–ˆμ£ .
01:28
And all I could think of to say was,
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μ œκ°€ 생각해 λ‚Ό 수 μžˆμ—ˆλ˜ 말은 였직
01:31
"But I have a son.
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"ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ „ 아듀이 μžˆμ–΄μš”.
01:33
I can't end.
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μ΄λŒ€λ‘œ 끝낼 μˆ˜λŠ” μ—†μ–΄μš”.
01:35
This world can't end.
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세상이 끝날 μˆ˜λŠ” μ—†μ–΄μš”.
01:38
It has just begun."
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μ €λŠ” 막 μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆλ‹¨ λ§μ΄μ—μš”."
01:41
And then I called my husband, and he rushed to find me
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그리고 μ €λŠ” λ‚¨νŽΈμ—κ²Œ μ „ν™” ν–ˆκ³ , λ‚¨νŽΈμ€ μ €λ₯Ό 찾으러 λ‹¬λ €μ™”μ–΄μš”.
01:44
and I said all the true things that I have known.
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그리고 μ œκ°€ μ•Œκ²Œ 된 λͺ¨λ“  사싀을 λ‚¨νŽΈμ—κ²Œ λ§ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:46
I said, "I have loved you forever,
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μ €λŠ” λ§ν–ˆμ–΄μš”. " λ‚œ 당신을 μ˜μ›νžˆ μ‚¬λž‘ν•΄.
01:50
I have loved you forever.
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λ‚œ 당신을 μ˜μ›νžˆ μ‚¬λž‘ν•΄.
01:51
I am so sorry.
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λ―Έμ•ˆν•΄.
01:53
Please take care of our son."
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우리 μ•„λ“€ 잘 돌봐쀘."
01:56
And then as I began the walk to the hospital,
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그리고 λ³‘μ›μœΌλ‘œ κ±Έμ–΄κ°€κΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν•˜λ©΄μ„œ
01:59
it crossed my mind for the first time,
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처음으둜 그런 생각이 λ“€μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
02:02
"Oh. How ironic."
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"였, 정말 μ•„μ΄λŸ¬λ‹ˆν•˜μ§€."
02:05
I had just written a book called "Blessed."
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λ‚œ 방금 "μΆ•λ³΅λ°›μŒ"μ΄λΌλŠ” 책을 μΌλŠ”λ°.
02:09
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
02:12
I am a historian
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μ €λŠ” μ—­μ‚¬ν•™μžμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:13
and an expert in the idea that good things happen to good people.
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그리고 쒋은 μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ² 쒋은 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚œλ‹€λŠ” μƒκ°μ˜ μ „λ¬Έκ°€μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:17
I research a form of Christianity nicknamed "the prosperity gospel,"
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μ €λŠ” 신이 μ‹ μžμ˜ λ²ˆμ˜μ„ λ°”λž€λ‹€λŠ” ꡉμž₯히 λŒ€λ‹΄ν•œ 약속을 담은
02:21
for its very bold promise that God wants you to prosper.
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"번영의 λ³΅μŒμ„œ"λΌλŠ” 별λͺ…이 뢙은 κΈ°λ…κ΅μ˜ ν•œ λ¬Έμ„œλ₯Ό μ°Ύμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:25
I never considered myself a follower of the prosperity gospel.
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μ €λŠ” ν•œλ²ˆλ„ 슀슀둜λ₯Ό 번영의 λ³΅μŒμ„œλ₯Ό λ”°λ₯΄λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμœΌλ‘œ μ—¬κΈ΄ 적 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:29
I was simply an observer.
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μ €λŠ” κ·Έμ € κ΄€μ°°μžμ˜€μ£ .
02:32
The prosperity gospel believes that God wants to reward you
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번영의 λ³΅μŒμ„œλŠ” 신이 λ‹Ήμ‹ μ—κ²Œ 상을 ν•˜μ‚¬ν•  것이라고 λ―Ώκ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:35
if you have the right kind of faith.
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λ§Œμ•½ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ λ°”λ₯Έ λ―ΏμŒμ„ 가지고 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄ 말이죠.
02:37
If you're good and faithful,
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ 쒋은 μ‚¬λžŒμ΄κ³ , 믿음이 μžˆλŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ΄λΌλ©΄
02:40
God will give you health and wealth
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신은 건강과 뢀와
02:42
and boundless happiness.
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λμ—†λŠ” 행볡을 쀄 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:44
Life is like a boomerang:
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삢은 λΆ€λ©”λž‘κ³Ό κ°™μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€:
02:46
if you're good,
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λ§Œμ•½ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ 쒋은 μ‚¬λžŒμ΄λΌλ©΄
02:47
good things will always come back to you.
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쒋은 일이 μ–Έμ œλ‚˜ λŒμ•„μ˜¬ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:50
Think positively. Speak positively.
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κΈμ •μ μœΌλ‘œ μƒκ°ν•˜κ³  κΈμ •μ μœΌλ‘œ λ§ν•˜μ„Έμš”.
02:53
Nothing is impossible if you believe.
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ λ―ΏλŠ”λ‹€λ©΄ λΆˆκ°€λŠ₯ν•œ 것은 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:58
I got interested in this very American theology
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μ €λŠ” ꡉμž₯히 미ꡭ적인 이 신학에 ν₯λ―Έλ₯Ό κ°€μ‘ŒμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:01
when I was 18 or so,
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μ œκ°€ 18μ‚΄ 정도 λ˜μ—ˆμ„ λ•Œ
03:03
and by 25 I was traveling the country interviewing its celebrities.
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25μ‚΄λ•ŒκΉŒμ§€ 전ꡭ을 λŒμ•„λ‹€λ‹ˆλ©°, μ‹ ν•™μ—μ„œ 유λͺ…ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ„ μΈν„°λ·°ν–ˆμ£ .
03:08
I spent a decade talking to televangelists
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μ €λŠ” 10λ…„λ™μ•ˆ TV에 μΆœμ—°ν•˜λŠ” 전도사듀과
03:11
with spiritual guarantees for divine money.
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μ‹ μ„±ν•œ λˆμ— λŒ€ν•œ 영적인 보증을 μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:15
I interviewed countless megachurch pastors with spectacular hair
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μ €λŠ” 큰 ꡐ회의 ν™”λ €ν•œ ν—€μ–΄μŠ€νƒ€μΌμ„ 가진 λͺ©μ‚¬λ‹˜λ“€κ³Ό
03:19
about how they live their best lives now.
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그듀이 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μ§€κΈˆ 졜고의 삢을 μ‚΄κ³  μžˆλŠ”μ§€ λ§Žμ€ 인터뷰λ₯Ό ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:23
I visited with people in hospital waiting rooms
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μ €λŠ” 병원 λŒ€κΈ°μ‹€μ— μžˆλŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€κ³Ό
03:26
and plush offices.
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κ³ κΈ‰ 사무싀에 μžˆλŠ” μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ„ λ°©λ¬Έν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:28
I held hands with people in wheelchairs,
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μ €λŠ” νœ μ²΄μ–΄μ— 앉은 μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ˜ 손을 작고
03:30
praying to be cured.
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그듀이 λ‚«κ²Œ 해달라고 κΈ°λ„ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:33
I earned my reputation as destroyer of family vacations
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μ €λŠ” κ°€μ‘± νœ΄κ°€μ˜ νŒŒκ΄΄μžλ‘œμ„œ λͺ…성을 μ–»μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:37
for always insisting on being dropped off at the fanciest megachurch in town.
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λ™λ„€μ—μ„œ κ°€μž₯ ν™”λ €ν•œ λŒ€ν˜• ꡐ회만 κ°€λ©΄ 항상 내렀달라고 ν–ˆκ±°λ“ μš”.
03:42
If there was a river running through the sanctuary,
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λ³΄ν˜Έκ΅¬μ—­μ„ 흐λ₯΄λŠ” κ°•κ³Ό
03:45
an eagle flying freely in the auditorium,
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강당을 자유둭게 λ‚ μ•„λ‹€λ‹ˆλŠ” λ…μˆ˜λ¦¬μ™€
03:48
or an enormous spinning golden globe,
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κ±°λŒ€ν•œ λŒμ•„κ°€λŠ” 골든 κΈ€λ‘œλΈŒκ°€ μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
03:51
I was there.
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μ „ μ–Έμ œλ‚˜ κ·Έ 곳에 μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:54
When I first started studying this, the whole idea of being "blessed"
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μ œκ°€ 처음 이것을 μ—°κ΅¬ν•˜κΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ„ λ•Œ "μΆ•λ³΅λ°›μŒ"의 관념은
03:57
wasn't what it is today.
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μ˜€λŠ˜λ‚ μ˜ 것과 λ‹¬λžμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:00
It was not, like it is now,
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μ§€κΈˆμ²˜λŸΌ
04:02
an entire line of "#blessed" home goods.
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"#좕볡받은" κ°€μ • μš©ν’ˆ λͺ©λ‘μ²˜λŸΌ μ“°μ΄μ§€λŠ” μ•Šμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
04:05
It was not yet a flood of "#blessed" vanity license plates and T-shirts
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"#좕볡받은"이라고 적힌 μžλ™μ°¨ 번호판과 티셔츠와 λ„€μ˜¨ λ²½ μ•„νŠΈμ˜
04:10
and neon wall art.
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ν™μˆ˜κ°€ 아직 있기 μ „μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:13
I had no idea that "blessed" would become one of the most common cultural cliches,
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μ €λŠ” "좕볡받은"이 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ ν”ν•œ 문화적 μƒνˆ¬μ–΄λ‘œ
04:18
one of the most used hashtags on Instagram,
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μΈμŠ€νƒ€κ·Έλž¨μ—μ„œ κ°€μž₯ 많이 μ“°μ΄λŠ” ν•΄μ‹œνƒœκ·Έ 쀑 ν•˜λ‚˜λ‘œ
04:21
to celebrate barely there bikini shots,
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겨우 λΉ„ν‚€λ‹ˆ 샷을 μžλž‘ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•œ 것이 될 쀄은 λͺ°λžμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:24
as if to say, "I am so blessed.
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마치 "λ‚œ λ„ˆλ¬΄ μΆ•λ³΅λ°›μ•˜μ–΄.
04:26
Thank you, Jesus, for this body."
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이런 λͺΈμ„ μ£Όμ…”μ„œ κ°μ‚¬ν•΄μš”, μ˜ˆμˆ˜λ‹˜" 이라고 λ§ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμ²˜λŸΌμš”.
04:28
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
04:32
I had not yet fully grasped the way that the prosperity gospel
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μ €λŠ” 번영의 λ³΅μŒμ„œκ°€
04:36
had become the great civil religion,
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κ±°λŒ€ν•œ λ―Όκ°„μ˜ 쒅ꡐ가 λ˜μ–΄
04:39
offering another transcendent account
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아메리칸 λ“œλ¦Όμ˜ 핡심에 λŒ€ν•œ 또 λ‹€λ₯Έ μ΄ˆμ›”μ μΈ μ„€λͺ…을 μ œκ³΅ν•˜λŠ”
04:41
of the core of the American Dream.
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방식에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ™„μ „νžˆ νŒŒμ•…ν•˜μ§€λŠ” λͺ»ν–ˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:44
Rather than worshipping the founding of America itself,
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미ꡭ의 건ꡭ κ·Έ 자체λ₯Ό μˆ­λ°°ν•˜κΈ° 보닀
04:47
the prosperity gospel worshipped Americans.
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번영의 λ³΅μŒμ„œλŠ” 미ꡭ인을 μˆ­λ°°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:51
It deifies and ritualizes their hungers,
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그것은 κ·Έλ“€μ˜ λ°°κ³ ν””κ³Ό 노고와 용기λ₯Ό
04:54
their hard work and moral fiber.
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μ‹ κ²©ν™”ν•˜κ³  μ˜μ‹ν™”ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:58
Americans believe in a gospel of optimism,
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미ꡭ인듀은 λ‚™κ΄€λ‘ μ˜ λ³΅μŒμ„ λ―Ώκ³ 
05:01
and they are their own proof.
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그듀이 κ·Έλ“€ 슀슀둜의 μ¦κ±°μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:04
But despite telling myself,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μŠ€μŠ€λ‘œμ—κ²Œ
05:06
"I'm just studying this stuff, I'm nothing like them,"
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"λ‚œ 단지 이걸 μ—°κ΅¬ν•˜κ³  μžˆλŠ” κ±°μ•Ό, λ‚œ μ €λ“€κ³Ό 달라."라고 λ§ν–ˆμŒμ—λ„
05:09
when I got my diagnosis,
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μ œκ°€ 진단을 λ°›μ•˜μ„ λ•Œ
05:11
I suddenly understood how deeply invested I was
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μ €λŠ” κ°‘μžκΈ° μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ κΉŠμˆ™μ΄
05:15
in my own Horatio Alger theology.
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ν˜ΈλΌμ‹œμ˜€ μ•Œμ œλ₯΄ 신학에 λͺΈλ‹΄κ³  μžˆμ—ˆλŠ”μ§€λ₯Ό κΉ¨λ‹«κ²Œ λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:19
If you live in this culture, whether you are religious or not,
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λ§Œμ•½ μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ 이 λ¬Έν™”κΆŒμ— μ‚΄κ³  μžˆλ‹€λ©΄ 쒅ꡐ와 상관 없이
05:22
it is extremely difficult to avoid falling into the trap
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μ „ν•΄μ Έλ‚΄λ €μ˜€λŠ” κ·Έ 미덕과 성곡을 λ―ΏλŠ”
05:26
of believing that virtue and success go hand in hand.
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함정에 빠지지 μ•ŠκΈ°λž€ λŒ€λ‹¨νžˆ μ–΄λ ΅μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:31
The more I stared down my diagnosis,
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μ œκ°€ μ§„λ‹¨μ„œλ₯Ό λ‚΄λ €λ‹€ 볼수둝
05:34
the more I recognized that I had my own quiet version
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μ €λŠ” μ œκ°€ μ‘°μš©ν•œ λ²„μ „μ˜ 쒋은 μ‚¬λžŒμ—κ² 쒋은 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚œλ‹€λŠ” λ―ΏμŒμ„
05:37
of the idea that good things happen to good people.
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κ°–κ³  μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 것을 깨달을 수 μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:41
Aren't I good?
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λ‚΄κ°€ 쒋은 μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ μ•„λ‹Œκ°€?
05:42
Aren't I special somehow?
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λ‚΄κ°€ νŠΉλ³„ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ€κ°€?
05:45
I have committed zero homicides
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λ‚˜λŠ” 살인을 저지λ₯Έ 적도 μ—†λŠ”λ°.
05:47
to date.
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μ•„μ§κΉŒμ§€λŠ”.
05:49
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
05:51
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
05:53
So why is this happening to me?
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그럼 λ„λŒ€μ²΄ λ‚˜μ—κ²Œ μ™œ 이런 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚œ 거지?
05:56
I wanted God to make me good
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μ €λŠ” 신이 μ €λ₯Ό μ’‹κ²Œ λ§Œλ“€μ–΄μ„œ
05:58
and to reward my faith with just a few shining awards along the way.
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λ°˜μ§κ±°λ¦¬λŠ” 상듀 λͺ‡ 개둜 제 λ―ΏμŒμ— 상을 μ£ΌκΈ°λ₯Ό λ°”λž¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:03
OK, like, a lot of shining awards.
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λ„€ 사싀은 λ§Žμ€ λ°˜μ§κ±°λ¦¬λŠ” 상듀을 λ°›κΈ°λ₯Ό μ›ν–ˆμ£ .
06:05
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
06:06
I believed that hardships were only detours
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κ³ λ‚œμ€ κ·Έμ € κΈΈκ³  κΈΈ 것이라고 ν™•μ‹ ν–ˆλ˜ μ‚Άμ˜
06:09
on what I was certain would be my long, long life.
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μš°νšŒλ„λ‘œμ— λΆˆκ³Όν•˜λ‹€κ³  λ―Ώμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:14
As is this case with many of us, it's a mindset that served me well.
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μš°λ¦¬λ“€ 쀑 λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ 그렇듯이 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ λ―ΏλŠ” 것이 속 νŽΈν–ˆμ£ .
06:19
The gospel of success drove me to achieve,
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μ„±κ³΅μ˜ λ³΅μŒμ„œλŠ” μ œκ°€ μ„±μ·¨ν•˜κ³ 
06:22
to dream big,
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큰 것을 꿈꾸고
06:23
to abandon fear.
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두렀움을 버리도둝 ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:26
It was a mindset that served me well
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μ΄λŠ” μ €λ₯Ό 잘 μ§€νƒ±ν•΄μ£ΌλŠ” μ‚¬κ³ λ°©μ‹μ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
06:28
until it didn't,
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κ·ΈλŸ¬μ§€ λͺ»ν•˜κ²Œ 되기 μ „κΉŒμ§€λŠ”μš”.
06:30
until I was confronted with something I couldn't manage my way out of;
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μ œκ°€ νƒˆμΆœν•  수 μ—†λŠ” 것과 맞λ‹₯뜨리기 μ „κΉŒμ§€λŠ”μš”.
06:35
until I found myself saying into the phone,
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제 μŠ€μŠ€λ‘œκ°€ 전화기에닀 λŒ€κ³  μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ λ§ν•˜λŠ” 것을 λ°œκ²¬ν•˜κΈ° μ „κΉŒμ§€λŠ”μš”.
06:37
"But I have a son,"
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β€œν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 제겐 아듀이 μžˆμ–΄μš”.”
06:39
because it was all I could think of to say.
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μ™œλƒν•˜λ©΄ μ œκ°€ 생각해 λ‚Ό 수 μžˆμ—ˆλ˜ μœ μΌν•œ λ§μ΄μ—ˆκ±°λ“ μš”.
06:45
That was the most difficult moment to accept:
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μ œκ°€ κ°€μž₯ 받아듀이기 νž˜λ“  μˆœκ°„μ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
06:48
the phone call, the walk to the hospital,
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제 개인적인 번영의 λ³΅μŒμ„œκ°€
06:51
when I realized that my own personal prosperity gospel
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μ‹€νŒ¨ν–ˆλ‹€λŠ” 것을 κΉ¨λ‹¬μ•˜μ„ λ•Œ
06:55
had failed me.
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μ „ν™”, λ³‘μ›μœΌλ‘œ κ°€λ˜ κΈΈμ΄μš”.
06:57
Anything I thought was good or special about me could not save me --
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μ €μ˜ μž₯μ μ΄λ‚˜ νŠΉλ³„ν•œ 점이라고 μƒκ°ν–ˆλ˜ 것듀이 μ €λ₯Ό ꡬ해쀄 수 μ—†μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
07:02
my hard work, my personality,
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μ—΄μ‹¬νžˆ μΌν•˜λŠ” 것, 제 성격
07:05
my humor, my perspective.
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제 유머, 제 μ‹œκ°μ΄μš”.
07:08
I had to face the fact that my life is built with paper walls,
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제 삢이 μ’…μ΄λ²½λ“€λ‘œ λ§Œλ“€μ–΄μ‘Œλ‹€λŠ” 것을 직면해야 ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
07:12
and so is everyone else's.
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λͺ¨λ‘ λ§ˆμ°¬κ°€μ§€λΌλŠ” κ²ƒμ„μš”.
07:16
It is a hard thought to accept that we are all a breath away
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λŒ€μ²΄λΆˆκ°€ν•œ 것을 νŒŒκ΄΄ν•΄λ²„λ¦¬κ±°λ‚˜ 우리의 삢을 솑두리째 λ°”κΏ” 놓을 수 μžˆλŠ”
07:20
from a problem that could destroy something irreplaceable
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λ¬Έμ œλ‘œλΆ€ν„° 우리 λͺ¨λ‘κ°€ μ•„μ£Ό κ°€κΉŒμš΄ 거리에 μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 것을
07:24
or alter our lives completely.
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λ°›μ•„λ“€μ΄λŠ” 것은 μƒκ°ν•˜κΈ° νž˜λ“­λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:27
We know that in life there are befores and afters.
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 삢에 μ „κ³Ό ν›„κ°€ μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 것을 μ••λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:31
I am asked all the time to say that I would never go back,
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ 항상 제게 λ¬Όμ–΄λ³Ό λ•Œλ§ˆλ‹€ λ‹€μ‹œλŠ” λŒμ•„κ°€μ§€ μ•Šμ„ κ²ƒμ΄λΌκ³ λ‚˜
07:36
or that I've gained so much in perspective.
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μž₯기적 κ΄€μ μ—μ„œ 정말 λ§Žμ€ 것을 λ°°μ› λ‹€λŠ” 닡변이 κΈ°λŒ€λ˜λŠ” 것을 μ•Œμ•˜μ£ .
07:39
And I tell them no,
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μ €λŠ” μ•„λ‹ˆλΌκ³  λ§ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:40
before was better.
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μ˜ˆμ „μ΄ 더 λ‚˜μ•˜λ‹€κ³  λ§ν•˜μ£ .
07:45
A few months after I got sick, I wrote about this
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μ•„ν”„κ²Œ 된 지 λͺ‡ 달 ν›„ μ €λŠ” 이에 λŒ€ν•΄ 글을 썼고
07:48
and then I sent it off to an editor at the "New York Times."
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β€œλ‰΄μš• νƒ€μž„μ¦ˆβ€μ˜ νŽΈμ§‘μžμ—κ²Œ 이λ₯Ό λ³΄λƒˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:51
In retrospect, taking one of the most vulnerable moments of your life
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λ˜λŒμ΄μΌœλ³΄λ‹ˆ, μ‚Άμ˜ κ°€μž₯ μ·¨μ•½ν•œ μˆœκ°„λ“€ 쀑 ν•˜λ‚˜λ₯Ό
07:55
and turning into an op-ed
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μ‚¬μ„€λ‘œ λ°”κΎΈλŠ” 것은
07:57
is not an amazing way to feel less vulnerable.
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덜 μ·¨μ•½ν•˜κ²Œ 느끼기 μœ„ν•΄μ„œλŠ” 쒋은 방법이 μ•„λ‹ˆλ”λΌκ³ μš”.
08:00
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
08:01
I got thousands of letters and emails.
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μ €λŠ” 수천 ν†΅μ˜ νŽΈμ§€μ™€ 이메일을 λ°›μ•˜μ£ .
08:04
I still get them every day.
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μ—¬μ „νžˆ 맀일 λ°›κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:07
I think it is because of the questions I asked.
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μƒκ°μ»¨λŒ€ μ œκ°€ λ¬Όμ—ˆλ˜ 질문 λ•Œλ¬ΈμΈ 것 κ°™μ€λ°μš”.
08:10
I asked: How do you live without quite so many reasons
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제 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€, λ‚˜μœ 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚˜κ²Œ 된 κ·Έ λ§Žμ€
08:14
for the bad things that happen?
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μ΄μœ λ“€ 없이 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μ‚΄μ•„κ°€μ‹œλ‚˜μš”?
08:17
I asked: Would it be better to live without outrageous formulas
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제 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€, μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ μΌμ–΄λ‚˜λŠ” 일은 λ‹€ 본인이 μžμ΄ˆν•œ κ²ƒμ΄λΌλŠ”
08:22
for why people deserve what they get?
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ν—ˆν™©λœ 곡식 없이 μ‚¬λŠ” 것이 더 낫지 μ•Šμ„κΉŒμš”?
08:26
And what was so funny and so terrible was, of course,
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그리고 λ„ˆλ¬΄ μ›ƒκΈ°λ©΄μ„œλ„ λ”μ°ν–ˆλ˜ 것은, λ¬Όλ‘ 
08:29
I thought I asked people to simmer down
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μ œκ°€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ μΌμ–΄λ‚œ λ‚˜μœ 일듀에 λŒ€ν•΄
08:31
on needing an explanation for the bad things that happened.
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μ„€λͺ…이 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ‹€λŠ” 생각을 μ§„μ •μ‹œν‚€λΌκ³  ν–ˆλ‹€λŠ” 것이죠.
08:34
So what did thousands of readers do?
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ 수천 λͺ…μ˜ λ…μžλ“€μ΄ μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ ν–ˆμ„κΉŒμš”?
08:37
Yeah, they wrote to defend the idea that there had to be a reason
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λ„€, 그듀은 제게 μΌμ–΄λ‚œ μΌμ—λŠ” λ‹€ μ΄μœ κ°€ μžˆμ„ κ²ƒμ΄λΌλŠ” 생각을
08:41
for what happened to me.
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λ³€λ‘ ν•˜λŠ” 글을 μΌμ–΄μš”.
08:43
And they really want me to understand the reason.
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그리고 μ œκ°€ κ·Έ 이유λ₯Ό μ΄ν•΄ν•˜κΈ°λ₯Ό 정말 바라셨죠.
08:46
People want me to reassure them that my cancer is all part of a plan.
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ μ œκ°€ 제 암이 λ‹€ κ³„νšμ˜ 일뢀라고 ν™•μ‹ ν•˜κΈΈ λ°”λΌμ…¨μ–΄μš”.
08:51
A few letters even suggested it was God's plan that I get cancer
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λͺ‡ 개의 νŽΈμ§€λ“€μ€ μ œκ°€ 암에 κ±Έλ¦° 게 이에 λŒ€ν•΄ 글을 μ”€μœΌλ‘œμ¨
08:55
so I could help people by writing about it.
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ„ λ•κ²Œ ν•˜λ €λŠ” μ‹ μ˜ κ³„νšμΌ μˆ˜λ„ μžˆλ‹€κ³ κΉŒμ§€ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:58
People are certain it is a test of my character
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ 이것이 제 κΈ°μ§ˆμ— λŒ€ν•œ μ‹œν—˜μ΄κ±°λ‚˜
09:01
or proof of something terrible I've done.
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μ œκ°€ 과거에 저지λ₯Έ λ”μ°ν•œ λ¬΄μ–Έκ°€μ˜ 증거라고 ν™•μ‹ ν–ˆμ£ .
09:04
They want me to know without a doubt
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그듀은 ν•œμΉ˜μ˜ μ˜μ‹¬λ„ 없이 μ œκ°€ 이 겉보기엔
09:07
that there is a hidden logic to this seeming chaos.
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ν˜Όλž€μ²˜λŸΌ λ³΄μ΄λŠ” κ²ƒμ—λŠ” μˆ¨κ²¨μ§„ 논리가 μžˆλ‹€κ³  μ•ŒκΈ°λ₯Ό λ°”λΌμ…¨μ–΄μš”.
09:12
They tell my husband,
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그듀은 제 λ‚¨νŽΈμ—κ²ŒλŠ”
09:13
while I'm still in the hospital,
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μ œκ°€ 병원에 μžˆλŠ” λ™μ•ˆμ—μš”.
09:15
that everything happens for a reason,
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λͺ¨λ“  κ²ƒμ—λŠ” μ΄μœ κ°€ 있고 λ§ν–ˆκ³ 
09:18
and then stammer awkwardly when he says,
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그이가 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ λ§ν•˜μž μ–΄μƒ‰ν•˜κ²Œ λ”λ“¬κ±°λ¦¬μ…¨μ–΄μš”.
09:21
"I'd love to hear it.
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β€œμ •λ§ λ“£κ³  μ‹Άλ„€μš”.
09:23
I'd love to hear the reason my wife is dying."
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제 μ•„λ‚΄κ°€ μ£½μ–΄κ°€λŠ” 이유λ₯Ό 정말 μ•Œκ³  μ‹Άμ–΄μš”.”
09:27
And I get it.
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저도 μ•Œμ•„μš”.
09:29
We all want reasons.
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” λͺ¨λ‘ 이유λ₯Ό μ›ν•˜μ£ .
09:31
We want formulas
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 우리의 λ…Έκ³ κ°€ 빛을 λ°œν• μ§€
09:32
to predict whether our hard work will pay off,
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우리의 μ‚¬λž‘κ³Ό λ³΄μ‚΄ν•Œμ΄ 우리의 배우자λ₯Ό ν–‰λ³΅ν•˜κ²Œ ν•˜κ³ 
09:36
whether our love and support will always make our partners happy
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우리 아이듀이 우릴 μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜κ²Œ 할지
09:40
and our kids love us.
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μ˜ˆμΈ‘ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” 곡식을 μ›ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:43
We want to live in a world in which not one ounce
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우리의 λ…Έκ³ λ‚˜ 고톡, 희망이
09:46
of our hard work or our pain or our deepest hopes will be for nothing.
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μ‘°κΈˆλ„ ν—›λ˜μ§€ μ•ŠλŠ” 세상에 μ‚΄κΈ°λ₯Ό μ›ν•˜μ£ .
09:52
We want to live in a world in which nothing is lost.
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” 아무것도 μžƒμ§€ μ•ŠλŠ” 세상에 μ‚΄κ³  μ‹Άμ–΄ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:58
But what I have learned in living with stage IV cancer
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ œκ°€ 4기암에 κ±Έλ¦° μ±„λ‘œ μ‚΄μ•„κ°€λ©° 배운 것은
10:02
is that there is no easy correlation
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μ œκ°€ μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ λ…Έλ ₯ν•˜λŠλƒμ™€
10:05
between how hard I try
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제 μ‚Άμ˜ 길이 μ‚¬μ΄μ—λŠ” μ‰¬μš΄ 인과관계가 μ—†λ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
10:08
and the length of my life.
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10:10
In the last three years, I've experienced more pain and trauma
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μ§€λ‚œ 3λ…„ λ™μ•ˆ μ œκ°€ 살아남을 수 μžˆμ„ 것이라고 μƒκ°ν•œ 것보닀
10:14
than I ever thought I could survive.
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더 μ‹¬ν•œ 고톡과 트라우마λ₯Ό κ²½ν—˜ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:18
I realized the other day that I've had so many abdominal surgeries
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μ–Όλ§ˆμ „μ—λŠ” μ œκ°€ 볡뢀 절개 μˆ˜μˆ μ„ ν•˜λ„ 많이 ν•΄μ„œ
10:21
that I'm on my fifth belly button,
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배꼽이 5κ°œλŠ” 생겼고
10:23
and this last one is my least favorite.
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λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰ 배꼽이 κ°€μž₯ μ‹«μ–΄μš”.
10:26
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
10:29
But at the same time, I've experienced love,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ λ™μ‹œμ— μ €λŠ” μ‚¬λž‘μ„
10:32
so much love,
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λ„ˆλ¬΄λ‚˜ λ§Žμ€ μ‚¬λž‘μ„
10:34
love I find hard to explain.
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μ œκ°€ μ„€λͺ…ν•  수 μ—†λŠ” μ‚¬λž‘μ„ κ²½ν—˜ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
10:38
The other day, I was reading the findings
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μ–Όλ§ˆ μ „, μ €λŠ”
10:40
of the Near Death Experience Research Foundation,
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μž„μ‚¬μ²΄ν—˜μ—°κ΅¬μ†Œμ˜ 연ꡬ결과λ₯Ό 읽고 μžˆμ—ˆλŠ”λ°μš”.
10:43
and yes, there is such a thing.
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λ„€, 그런 기관이 μ‹€μ œλ‘œ μ‘΄μž¬ν•œλ‹΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:45
People were interviewed about their brushes with death
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μ˜¨κ°– μ’…λ₯˜μ˜ μž„μ‚¬μ²΄ν—˜μ— λŒ€ν•΄
10:48
in all kinds of circumstances:
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ„ μΈν„°λ·°ν–ˆμ£ .
10:50
car accidents, labor and delivery,
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ꡐ톡 사고, μΆœμ‚°
10:52
suicides.
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μžμ‚΄ λ“± μ΄μš”.
10:54
And many reported the same odd thing:
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그리고 λ§Žμ€ 이듀이 λ˜‘κ°™μ΄ μ΄μƒν•œ 것을 λͺ©κ²©ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
10:57
love.
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μ‚¬λž‘μ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
10:59
I'm sure I would have ignored it if it hadn't reminded me
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μ•„λ§ˆ μ „ κ·Έλƒ₯ λ¬΄μ‹œν–ˆμ„ κ±°μ˜ˆμš”. 이것이 μ œκ°€ κ²½ν—˜ν•œ 무언가
11:01
of something I had experienced,
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μ œκ°€ λŠλ‚€ λˆ„κ΅¬μ—κ²Œλ„ λ§ν•˜κΈ° λΆˆνŽΈν•œ 무언가λ₯Ό
11:03
something I felt uncomfortable telling anyone:
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μƒκΈ°μ‹œν‚€μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜λ‹€λ©΄μš”.
11:06
that when I was sure that I was going to die,
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λ°”λ‘œ μ œκ°€ 죽을 κ²ƒμ΄λΌλŠ” 것을 ν™•μ‹ ν–ˆμ„ λ•Œ
11:09
I didn't feel angry.
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μ œκ°€ ν™”κ°€λ‚˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜λ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμ„μš”.
11:12
I felt loved.
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μ €λŠ” μ‚¬λž‘λ°›λŠ” 것을 느꼈죠.
11:15
It was one of the most surreal things I have experienced.
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μ œκ°€ κ²½ν—˜ν•œ κ°€μž₯ λΉ„ν˜„μ‹€μ μΈ 일듀 쀑 ν•˜λ‚˜μ˜€μ–΄μš”.
11:18
In a time in which I should have felt abandoned by God,
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신이 λ‚˜λ₯Ό 버렸닀고 λŠκΌˆμ–΄μ•Ό ν•  μ‹œκ°„μ—
11:22
I was not reduced to ashes.
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μ €λŠ” μžΏλ”λ―Έλ‘œ μž‘μ•„μ§€μ§€ μ•Šμ•˜μ–΄μš”.
11:25
I felt like I was floating,
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μ œκ°€ 마치 λ‚ μ•„λ‹€λ‹ˆλŠ” κ²ƒμ²˜λŸΌ 느껴쑌죠.
11:27
floating on the love and prayers
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μΌλ²Œλ“€μ²˜λŸΌ 제 μ£Όμœ„λ₯Ό λ‘˜λŸ¬μ‹Έκ³ 
11:29
of all those who hummed around me like worker bees,
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κΈ€κ³Ό 양말과 꽃 그리고
11:33
bringing me notes and socks and flowers
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격렀의 말을 μˆ˜λ†“μ€ ν€ΌνŠΈλ₯Ό κ°€μ Έλ‹€ μ€€ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ˜
11:35
and quilts embroidered with words of encouragement.
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μ‚¬λž‘κ³Ό 기도 μœ„μ—μ„œ λ‚ μ•„λ‹€λ‹ˆλŠ” 것 μ²˜λŸΌμš”.
11:39
But when they sat beside me,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 그듀이 제 μ˜†μ— μ•‰μ•˜μ„ λ•Œ
11:41
my hand in their hands,
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그듀이 제 손을 μž‘μ•˜κ³ 
11:43
my own suffering began to feel like it had revealed to me
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제 고톡이 λΉ„λ‘œμ†Œ λ‹€λ₯Έ μ΄λ“€μ˜
11:47
the suffering of others.
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κ³ ν†΅μ²˜λŸΌ λŠκ»΄μ§€κΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
11:49
I was entering a world of people just like me,
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μ €λŠ” 저와 같은 μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ˜ 세계에 λ“€μ–΄κ°€κ³  μžˆμ—ˆκ³ 
11:53
people stumbling around in the debris
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그듀은 그듀이 κ°€μ§ˆ 자격이 μžˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν–ˆλ˜ κΏˆλ“€κ³Ό
11:55
of dreams they thought they were entitled to
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μ‹€ν˜„ν•˜μ§€ λͺ»ν•œ κ³„νšλ“€μ˜ νŒŒνŽΈλ“€λ‘œ
11:58
and plans they didn't realize they had made.
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휘청거리고 μžˆμ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
12:02
It was a feeling of being more connected, somehow, with other people,
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같은 상황을 κ²ͺκ³  μžˆλŠ” λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€κ³Ό
12:06
experiencing the same situation.
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λ”μš± μ—°κ²°λœ λ“―ν•œ λŠλ‚Œμ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
12:09
And that feeling stayed with me for months.
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그런 λŠλ‚Œμ΄ λͺ‡ 달은 μ§€μ†λ˜μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
12:12
In fact, I'd grown so accustomed to it
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사싀, 이에 λ„ˆλ¬΄ μ΅μˆ™ν•΄μ Έμ„œ
12:14
that I started to panic at the prospect of losing it.
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이λ₯Ό μžƒμ–΄λ²„λ¦΄ μˆ˜λ„ μžˆλ‹€λŠ” κ°€λŠ₯성에 겁에 μ§ˆλ¦¬κΈ°κΉŒμ§€ ν–ˆμ£ .
12:17
So I began to ask friends, theologians, historians, nuns I liked,
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ μ €λŠ” μΉœκ΅¬λ“€, μ‹ ν•™μžλ“€, 역사가듀, μ œκ°€ μ’‹μ•„ν•˜λŠ” μˆ˜λ…€λ‹˜λ“€κ»˜
12:23
"What I am I going to do when that loving feeling is gone?"
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β€œμ΄λŸ° μ‚¬λž‘λ°›λŠ” λŠλ‚Œμ΄ λλ‚˜λ©΄ μ–΄μ©Œμ£ ?” 라고 묻기 μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
12:28
And they knew exactly what I was talking about,
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그듀은 μ œκ°€ 무슨 말을 ν•˜λŠ”μ§€ μ •ν™•νžˆ μ•„μ…¨λŠ”λ°
12:30
because they had either experienced it themselves
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본인듀도 이λ₯Ό κ²½ν—˜ν•˜μ…¨κ±°λ‚˜
12:32
or they'd read about it in great works of Christian theology.
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기독ꡐ μ‹ ν•™ μž‘ν’ˆλ“€μ—μ„œ 이에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ½μœΌμ…¨κΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:35
And they said,
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그듀은 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ λ§ν•˜μ…¨μ£ .
12:37
"Yeah, it'll go.
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β€œλ„€, μ—†μ–΄μ§ˆ κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
12:39
The feelings will go.
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κ·Έ λŠλ‚Œμ€ μ—†μ–΄μ§ˆ 것이죠.
12:41
And there will be no formula for how to get it back."
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이λ₯Ό λ˜μ°ΎλŠ” 곡식은 μ—†μ–΄μš”.”
12:45
But they offered me this little piece of reassurance,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 그듀이 μž‘μ€ μœ„μ•ˆμ„ μ£Όμ…¨κ³ 
12:48
and I clung to it.
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μ €λŠ” 그에 λ§€λ‹¬λ ΈμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:50
They said,
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그듀은 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ λ§μ”€ν•˜μ…¨μ–΄μš”.
12:51
"When the feelings recede like the tides,
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β€œκ·Έ λŠλ‚Œμ΄ νŒŒλ„μ²˜λŸΌ λ©€μ–΄μ§€λ©΄μ„œ
12:54
they will leave an imprint."
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μžκ΅­μ„ 남길 κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.”
12:57
And they do.
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그리고 μ‹€μ œ κ·Έλ ‡μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:59
And it is not proof of anything,
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μ–΄λ–€ 증거가 λ˜λŠ” 것은 μ•„λ‹ˆκ³ 
13:03
and it is nothing to boast about.
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μžλž‘ν• λ§Œν•œ 것도 μ•„λ‹ˆμ§€λ§Œ
13:05
It was just a gift.
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κ·Έμ € μ„ λ¬Όμ΄μ—ˆμ£ .
13:07
So I can't respond to the thousands of emails I get
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ μ €λŠ” μ œκ°€ 받은 수천 ν†΅μ˜ 이메일에
13:10
with my own five-step plan to divine health
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영적 건강과 마술적 λ– λ‹€λ‹ˆλŠ” λŠλ‚Œμ— λŒ€ν•œ
13:13
and magical floating feelings.
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5단계 κ³„νšμœΌλ‘œ 닡을 ν•  수 μ—†μ—ˆμ–΄μš”.
13:16
I see that the world is jolted by events that are wonderful and terrible,
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세상이 멋지고도 λ”μ°ν•œ, μž₯κ΄€μ΄μ§€λ§Œ 비극적인
13:22
gorgeous and tragic.
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μΌλ“€λ‘œ 좩격을 λ°›λŠ” 것을 λͺ©κ²©ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:25
I can't reconcile the contradiction,
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μ œκ°€ 이 λͺ¨μˆœμ„ ν•΄κ²°ν•  μˆ˜λŠ” μ—†μ–΄μš”.
13:28
except that I am beginning to believe that these opposites
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ €λŠ” 이 μ–‘ 극단이 μ„œλ‘œλ₯Ό μ—†μ• μ§€λŠ” μ•ŠλŠ”λ‹€κ³  λ―ΏκΈ° μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:31
do not cancel each other out.
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13:35
Life is so beautiful,
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인생은 λ„ˆλ¬΄λ‚˜ 아름닡고
13:37
and life is so hard.
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인생은 또 λ„ˆλ¬΄λ‚˜ νž˜λ“­λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:42
Today, I am doing quite well.
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μš”μ¦˜ μ €λŠ” κ½€ 잘 지내고 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:46
The immunotherapy drugs appear to be working,
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λ©΄μ—­μš”λ²• 약이 잘 λ“£κ³  μžˆλŠ” 것 κ°™μ•„μš”.
13:49
and we are watching and waiting with scans.
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μš°λ¦¬λŠ” μŠ€μΊ”κ²€μ‚¬ κ²°κ³Όλ₯Ό μ£Όμ‹œν•˜λ©΄μ„œ 기닀리고 있죠.
13:52
I hope I will live a long time.
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μ œκ°€ 였래 μ‚΄ 수 μžˆμ—ˆμœΌλ©΄ μ’‹κ² μ–΄μš”.
13:55
I hope I will live long enough to embarrass my son
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μ €λŠ” 제 아듀을 λΆ€λ„λŸ½κ²Œ ν• λ§ŒνΌ
14:00
and to watch my husband lose his beautiful hair.
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제 λ‚¨νŽΈμ΄ μ•„λ¦„λ‹€μš΄ 머리카락이 λΉ μ§€λŠ” 것을 볼만큼 κΈΈκ²Œμš”.
14:04
And I think I might.
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제 생각엔 그럴 μˆ˜λ„ μžˆμ„ 것 κ°™μ•„μš”.
14:06
But I am learning to live
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ €λŠ” μ‚΄κ³ 
14:08
and to love
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μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” 법을 배우고 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:10
without counting the cost,
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κ·Έ λŒ“κ°€λ₯Ό κ³„μ‚°ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šκ³ 
14:12
without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost.
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아무것도 μžƒμ§€ μ•Šμ„ κ±°λΌλŠ” μ΄μœ λ‚˜ ν™•μ‹  μ—†μ΄μš”.
14:17
Life will break your heart,
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인생은 μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ˜ λ§ˆμŒμ„ μ•„ν”„κ²Œ ν•  것이고
14:20
and life may take everything you have
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ 가진 그리고 μ›ν–ˆλ˜
14:22
and everything you hope for.
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λͺ¨λ“  것을 μ•—μ•„κ°ˆ μˆ˜λ„ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:25
But there is one kind of prosperity gospel that I believe in.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ œκ°€ λ―ΏλŠ” 번영 λ³΅μŒμ„œ ν•˜λ‚˜κ°€ μžˆλŠ”λ°μš”.
14:29
I believe that in the darkness,
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μ €λŠ” κ·Έ μ–΄λ‘  μ†μ—μ„œ
14:32
even there,
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κ·Έ κ³³μ—μ„œ μ‘°μ°¨
14:33
there will be beauty,
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아름닀움이 μžˆμ„ 것이라고 λ―ΏμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:35
and there will be love.
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μ‚¬λž‘λ„ μžˆμ„ κ²ƒμ΄κ³ μš”.
14:37
And every now and then,
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그리고 가끔씩
14:39
it will feel like more than enough.
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이거면 μΆ©λΆ„ν•˜κ²Œ 느껴질 κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
14:43
Thank you.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:45
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
이 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈ 정보

이 μ‚¬μ΄νŠΈλŠ” μ˜μ–΄ ν•™μŠ΅μ— μœ μš©ν•œ YouTube λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μ†Œκ°œν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ „ 세계 졜고의 μ„ μƒλ‹˜λ“€μ΄ κ°€λ₯΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μˆ˜μ—…μ„ 보게 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. 각 λ™μ˜μƒ νŽ˜μ΄μ§€μ— ν‘œμ‹œλ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μžλ§‰μ„ 더블 ν΄λ¦­ν•˜λ©΄ κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ λ™μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λΉ„λ””μ˜€ μž¬μƒμ— 맞좰 μžλ§‰μ΄ μŠ€ν¬λ‘€λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ˜κ²¬μ΄λ‚˜ μš”μ²­μ΄ μžˆλŠ” 경우 이 문의 양식을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ—¬ λ¬Έμ˜ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.

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