3 secrets of resilient people | Lucy Hone

468,141 views ・ 2020-07-06

TED


μ•„λž˜ μ˜λ¬Έμžλ§‰μ„ λ”λΈ”ν΄λ¦­ν•˜μ‹œλ©΄ μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.

00:00
Transcriber: Ivana Korom Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz
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λ²ˆμ—­: YoonJu Mangione κ²€ν† : Jihyeon J. Kim
00:13
So I'd like to start, if I may, by asking you some questions.
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„κ»˜ 질문 λͺ‡ 개 λ“œλ¦¬λ©° μ‹œμž‘ν•˜κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:17
If you've ever lost someone you truly love,
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λ§Œμ•½ μ§„μ •μœΌλ‘œ μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ„ μžƒμ€ 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄,
00:21
ever had your heart broken,
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λ§ˆμŒμ— μƒμ²˜λ₯Ό 받은 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄,
00:23
ever struggled through an acrimonious divorce,
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ν—˜μ•…ν•œ 이혼 과정을 거친 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄,
00:27
or been the victim of infidelity,
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뢈λ₯œμ˜ ν¬μƒμžκ°€ 된 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄,
00:30
please stand up.
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μΌμ–΄μ„œμ£Όμ„Έμš”.
00:31
If standing up isn't accessible to you, you can put your hand up.
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μΌμ–΄μ„œλŠ” 게 νž˜λ“œμ‹œλ©΄ 손을 λ“€μ–΄μ£Όμ„Έμš”.
00:35
Please, stay standing,
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계속 μ„œ κ³„μ…”μ£Όμ‹œκ³ 
00:37
and keep your hand up there.
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손을 계속 λ“€μ–΄μ£Όμ„Έμš”.
00:40
If you've ever lived through a natural disaster,
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μžμ—°μž¬ν•΄λ₯Ό κ²ͺ은 적이 μžˆκ±°λ‚˜
00:42
been bullied or been made redundant,
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κ΄΄λ‘­νž˜μ„ λ‹Ήν•œ 적이 μžˆκ±°λ‚˜ ν•΄κ³ λ‹Ήν•œ 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
00:44
stand on up.
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μΌμ–΄μ„œμ£Όμ„Έμš”.
00:45
If you've ever had a miscarriage,
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μœ μ‚° κ²½ν—˜μ΄ μžˆκ±°λ‚˜
00:49
if you've ever had an abortion
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λ‚™νƒœ κ²½ν—˜μ΄ μžˆκ±°λ‚˜
00:50
or struggled through infertility,
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λ‚œμ‚°μ˜ 어렀움을 κ²ͺ은 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
00:53
please stand up.
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μΌμ–΄μ„œμ£Όμ„Έμš”.
00:55
Finally, if you, or anyone you love,
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λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰μœΌλ‘œ, μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄λ‚˜ μ‚¬λž‘ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ΄
00:58
has had to cope with mental illness, dementia,
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μ •μ‹ μ§ˆν™˜, 치맀,
01:02
some form of physical impairment,
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신체적 μž₯μ• ,
01:05
or cope with suicide,
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μžμ‚΄μΆ©λ™μœΌλ‘œ νž˜λ“€μ–΄ν•œ 적이 μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
01:06
please stand up.
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μΌμ–΄μ„œμ£Όμ„Έμš”.
01:09
Look around you.
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μ£Όμœ„λ₯Ό ν•œ 번 λ‘˜λŸ¬λ³΄μ„Έμš”.
역경은 μ°¨λ³„ν•˜μ§€ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:11
Adversity doesn't discriminate.
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01:16
If you are alive,
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μ‚΄μ•„μžˆλ‹€λ©΄
01:18
you are going to have to, or you've already had to,
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μ–΄λ €μš΄ μ‹œκΈ°λ₯Ό κ²ͺ을 것이고, μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ 이미 κ²ͺμ—ˆμ„ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:22
deal with some tough times.
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01:24
Thank you, everyone, take a seat.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. 이제 μžλ¦¬μ— μ•‰μœΌμ…”λ„ λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:30
I started studying resilience research a decade ago,
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μ €λŠ” 10λ…„ μ „ 필라델피아에 μžˆλŠ” νŽœμ‹€λ² λ‹ˆμ•„ λŒ€ν•™μ—μ„œ
01:34
at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.
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회볡λ ₯에 λŒ€ν•œ 연ꡬλ₯Ό μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:37
It was an amazing time to be there,
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λ”± 쒋은 μ‹œκΈ°μ— λ“€μ–΄κ°”λŠ”λ°
01:40
because the professors who trained me
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μ €μ˜ 지도 κ΅μˆ˜λ‹˜κ»˜μ„œ λ°±μ‹­λ§Œ λ―Έκ΅° μž₯병듀을
01:42
had just picked up the contract to train all 1.1 million American soldiers
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μ‹ μ²΄μ μœΌλ‘œ, μ •μ‹ μ μœΌλ‘œλ„ 건강할 수 μžˆλ„λ‘ ν›ˆλ ¨μ‹œν‚€λŠ”
01:49
to be as mentally fit as they always have been physically fit.
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계약을 μ²΄κ²°ν–ˆκΈ° λ•Œλ¬Έμ΄μ£ .
01:53
As you can imagine,
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μ•„λ§ˆ μ•Œκ³  계싀 μˆ˜λ„ μžˆμ§€λ§Œ
01:55
you don't get a much more skeptical discerning audience
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μ•„ν”„κ°€λ‹ˆμŠ€νƒ„μ—μ„œ λŒμ•„μ˜¨ λ―Έκ΅° ν›ˆλ ¨ ν•˜μ‚¬κ΄€λ“€λ§ŒνΌμ΄λ‚˜
01:59
than the American drill sergeants returning from Afganistan.
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회의적인 관쀑듀도 없을 κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
02:03
So for someone like me,
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ 저같은 μ‚¬λžŒ,
02:04
whose main quest in life is trying to work out
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μΈμƒμ˜ μ£Όμš” λͺ©ν‘œκ°€
02:07
how we take the best of scientific findings out of academia
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ν•™μˆ μ  과학적 λ°œκ²¬μ„ 가지고
02:12
and bring them to people in their everyday lives,
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μ‚¬λžŒμ˜ 일상에 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μ μš©ν•˜λŠ”μ§€μ— λŒ€ν•΄ μ—°κ΅¬ν•˜λŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ μžˆκΈ°μ—
02:15
it was a pretty inspiring place to be.
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정말 μΈμƒκΉŠμ€ κ³³μ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:19
I finished my studies in America,
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μ €λŠ” λ―Έκ΅­μ—μ„œ 곡뢀λ₯Ό 마치고
02:21
and I returned home here to Christchurch
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κ³ ν–₯인 이 κ³³ 크라이슀트처치둜 λŒμ•„μ™€
02:24
to start my doctoral research.
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박사과정 연ꡬλ₯Ό μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:27
I'd just begun that study
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연ꡬλ₯Ό 막 μ‹œμž‘ν–ˆμ„ λ•Œ
02:29
when the Christchurch earthquakes hit.
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ν¬λΌμ΄μŠ€νŠΈμ²˜μΉ˜μ— 큰 지진이 λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:32
So I put my research on hold,
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ 연ꡬλ₯Ό μ€‘λ‹¨ν•˜κ³ 
02:34
and I started working with my home community
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저희 지역 곡동체와 ν•¨κ»˜
02:38
to help them through that terrible post-quake period.
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지진이 νœ©μ“Έκ³  μ§€λ‚˜κ°„ μ°Έν˜Ήν•œ 상황을 이겨낼 수 μžˆλ„λ‘ νž˜μΌμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:43
I worked with all sorts of organizations
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μ—¬λŸ¬ 단체듀과 ν˜‘λ ₯ν–ˆλŠ”λ°
02:45
from government departments to building companies,
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μ •λΆ€ κΈ°κ΄€λ“€λΆ€ν„° 건좕업체,
02:48
and all sorts of community groups,
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μ—¬λŸ¬ 곡동체듀이 μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:50
teaching them the ways of thinking and acting
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그리고 νšŒλ³΅μ„±μ„ μ΄‰μ§„μ‹œν‚€κΈ° μœ„ν•΄
02:53
that we know boost resilience.
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μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μƒκ°ν•˜κ³  행동할지λ₯Ό κ°€λ₯΄μ³€μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:56
I thought that was my calling.
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그게 μ €μ˜ 사λͺ…인쀄 μ•Œμ•˜μ–΄μš”.
02:59
My moment to put all of that research to good use.
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μ§€κΈˆκΉŒμ§€ ν•΄μ˜¨ 연ꡬ듀을 λ“œλ””μ–΄ μ‹€μš©μ μœΌλ‘œ μ“Έ 수 μžˆλŠ” κΈ°νšŒμš”.
03:05
But sadly, I was wrong.
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ•ˆνƒ€κΉκ²Œλ„ μ•„λ‹ˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:07
For my own true test came in 2014
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2014λ…„ μ—¬μ™• 탄신일 주말에
03:12
on Queen's Birthday weekend.
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μ§„μ§œ μ‹œν—˜μ— 맞λ‹₯λœ¨λ ΈμœΌλ‹ˆκΉŒμš”.
03:15
We and two other families had decided
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저희 κ°€μ‘±κ³Ό λ‹€λ₯Έ 두 가쑱은
03:18
to go down to Lake Ohau and bike the outs to ocean.
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μ˜€μ•„ν›„ ν˜Έμˆ˜μ— κ°€μ„œ λ°”λ‹·κ°€κΉŒμ§€ μžμ „κ±°λ₯Ό νƒ€λŸ¬ κ°€κΈ°λ‘œ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:22
At the last minute,
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μΆœλ°œν•˜κΈ° λ°”λ‘œ 전에
03:24
my beautiful 12-year-old daughter Abi
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저희 예쁜 μ—΄ λ‘μ‚΄μ§œλ¦¬ λ”Έ μ• λΉ„κ°€
03:27
decided to hop in the car with her best friend, Ella, also 12,
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μ—­μ‹œ 열두 살인 친ꡬ μ—˜λΌμ™€
03:32
and Ella's mom, Sally, a dear, dear friend of mine.
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μ €μ˜ 쒋은 친ꡬ이자 μ—˜λΌμ˜ μ—„λ§ˆ 샐리가 μš΄μ „ν•˜λŠ” ν•¨κ»˜ 차에 νƒ€κΈ°λ‘œ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:37
On the way down, as they traveled through Rakaia
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호수둜 κ°€λŠ” 길에 ν†°μŠ¨ νŠΈλž™μ— μžˆλŠ”
03:39
on Thompsons Track,
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라카이아λ₯Ό μ§€λ‚˜κ°€λŠ” 와쀑
03:41
a car sped through a stop sign,
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μ°¨ ν•œλŒ€κ°€ 정지 μ‹ ν˜Έλ₯Ό λ¬΄μ‹œν•˜κ³  속도λ₯Ό λƒˆκ³ 
03:45
crashing into them
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샐리가 μš΄μ „ν•˜λŠ” μ°¨λ₯Ό 듀이 λ°›μ•„
03:46
and killing all three of them instantly.
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μ„Έ λͺ… λͺ¨λ‘ κ·Έ μžλ¦¬μ—μ„œ μ¦‰μ‚¬ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:51
In the blink of an eye,
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눈 κΉœλΉ‘ν•  사이에
03:53
I find myself flung to the other side of the equation,
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λ°©μ •μ‹μ˜ μ™„μ „νžˆ λ°˜λŒ€νŽΈμ— μ„œμ„œ
03:57
waking up with a whole new identity.
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μ €λŠ” μ™„μ „νžˆ μƒˆλ‘œμš΄ μ •μ²΄μ„±μœΌλ‘œ 아침을 λ§žμ΄ν•˜κ²Œ λ˜μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:00
Instead of being the resilience expert,
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νšŒλ³΅μ„± μ „λ¬Έκ°€κ°€ μ•„λ‹Œ
04:02
suddenly, I'm the grieving mother.
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κ°‘μžκΈ° μ œκ°€ 아이λ₯Ό μžƒμ€ μ—„λ§ˆκ°€ λœκ²λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:05
Waking up not knowing who I am,
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μ œκ°€ λˆ„κ΅¬μΈμ§€λ„ λͺ¨λ₯΄λŠ” μ±„λ‘œ λˆˆμ„ 뜨고
04:08
trying to wrap my head around unthinkable news,
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받아듀일 수 μ—†λŠ” 이 μ†Œμ‹μ„ μ–΄λ–»κ²Œλ“  이해해보렀고 μ• μ“°λ©°
04:11
my world smashed to smithereens.
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제 세상은 μ‚°μ‚°μ‘°κ°λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:14
Suddenly, I'm the one on the end of all this expert advice.
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κ°‘μžκΈ° μ œκ°€ 전문적인 쑰언을 λ°›μ•„μ•Ό ν•  μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ 된 κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
04:19
And I can tell you,
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그리고 μ–΄λ–€ 쑰언도
04:20
I didn't like what I heard one little bit.
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λ§ˆμŒμ— 듀지 μ•Šμ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:24
In the days after Abi died,
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μ•„λΉ„κ°€ μ£½κ³  λ©°μΉ  ν›„
04:26
we were told we were now prime candidates for family estrangement.
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우리 가쑱이 μ•„λ§ˆ 뿔뿔이 ν©μ–΄μ§ˆ κ²ƒμ΄λΌλŠ” μ–˜κΈ°λ₯Ό λ“€μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:32
That we were likely to get divorced
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μ•„λ§ˆ μ΄ν˜Όμ„ ν•  것이고
04:34
and we were at high risk of mental illness.
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μ •μ‹ μ§ˆν™˜μ— 걸릴 μœ„ν—˜μ΄ λ†’λ‹€λ©΄μ„œμš”.
04:37
"Wow," I remember thinking,
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"와," ν•˜κ³  μƒκ°ν–ˆμ£ .
04:39
"Thanks for that, I though my life was already pretty shit."
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"μ•„μ£Ό κ³ λ§™λ„€μš”. 이미 λ‚΄ 인생은 λ§κ°€μ§ˆλŒ€λ‘œ 망가진 쀄 μ•Œμ•˜λŠ”λ°."
04:42
(Laughter)
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(μ›ƒμŒ)
04:43
Leaflets described the five stages of grief:
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μ±…μžμ—λŠ” μŠ¬ν””μ˜ λ‹€μ„― 단계가 μ ν˜€μžˆμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:47
anger, bargaining, denial, depression, acceptance.
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λΆ„λ…Έ, νƒ€ν˜‘, λΆ€μ •, 우울, 그리고 수용.
04:50
Victim support arrived at our door
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볡지사듀이 저희 집에 찾아와
04:52
and told us that we could expect to write off the next five years to grief.
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μŠ¬ν””μ„ κ·Ήλ³΅ν•˜λŠ” 데에 μ•žμœΌλ‘œ 5년은 걸릴거라고 ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:59
I know the leaflets and the resources meant well.
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μ±…μžμ™€ μžμ›λ“€μ΄ 쒋은 μ˜λ„λ‘œ λ§Œλ“€μ–΄μ‘Œλ‹€λŠ” κ±Έ μ•Œμ•„μš”.
05:03
But in all of that advice,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 그런 쑰언듀을 λ“£κ³ μžˆμžλ‹ˆ
05:04
they left us feeling like victims.
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ ν¬μƒμžλΌλŠ” λŠλ‚Œμ΄ λ“€μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:08
Totally overwhelmed by the journey ahead,
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μ•žμœΌλ‘œμ˜ 여정에 λŒ€ν•œ 버거움과
05:11
and powerless to exert any influence over our grieving whatsoever.
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ λŠλΌλŠ” μŠ¬ν””μ„ ν†΅μ œν•  수 μ—†λ‹€λŠ” 무λ ₯함을 λŠλΌλ©΄μ„œμš”.
05:16
I didn't need to be told how bad things were.
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상황이 μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ μ•ˆμ’‹μ€μ§€ ꡳ이 듀을 ν•„μš” μ—†μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:20
Believe me, I already knew things were truly terrible.
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μ •λ§λ‘œ 상황이 λ”μ°ν–ˆλ‹€λŠ” κ±Έ 이미 μ•Œκ³  μžˆμ—ˆμœΌλ‹ˆκΉŒμš”.
05:24
What I needed most was hope.
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μ œκ°€ κ°€μž₯ ν•„μš”ν–ˆλ˜ 건 ν¬λ§μ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:28
I needed a journey through all that anguish,
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κ·Έ κ³ λ‡Œμ™€ 고톡, 그리움을 ν—€μ³λ‚˜κ°ˆ 수 μžˆλŠ” 여정이 ν•„μš”ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:33
pain and longing.
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05:36
Most of all,
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그리고 무엇보닀도
05:37
I wanted to be an active participant in my grief process.
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μŠ¬ν””μ„ κ·Ήλ³΅ν•˜λŠ” 과정에 제 μžμ‹ μ΄ 적극 μ°Έμ—¬ν•˜κ³ μ‹Άμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:43
So I decided to turn my back on their advice
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ μ €λŠ” μ œκ°€ λ“€μ—ˆλ˜ 쑰언을 듣지 μ•Šκ³ 
05:46
and decided instead to conduct something of a self-experiment.
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λŒ€μ‹  μžκ°€μ‹€ν—˜ 같은 κ±Έ ν•œ 번 ν•΄λ³΄κΈ°λ‘œ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:50
I'd done the research, I had the tools,
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연ꡬ도 해놨고 ν•„μš”ν•œ 것듀도 μžˆμ—ˆμœΌλ‹ˆ
05:52
I wanted to know how useful they would be to me now
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이제 이게 μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ μ“Έλͺ¨κ°€ μžˆλŠ”μ§€ μ•Œκ³  μ‹Άμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:56
in the face of such an enormous mountain to climb.
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제 μ•žμ— 놓인 큰 산을 였λ₯΄λŠ” 데에 말이죠.
06:00
Now, I have to confess at this point,
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사싀 이 λ‹¨κ³„μ—μ„œ μ €λŠ”
06:02
I didn't really know that any of this was going to work.
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이게 νš¨κ³Όκ°€ μžˆμ„μ§€ 없을지 잘 λͺ°λžμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:06
Parental bereavement is widely acknowledged
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μžμ‹ μžƒμ€ λΆ€λͺ¨μ˜ 고톡은
06:08
as the hardest of losses to bear.
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κ°λ‹Ήν•˜κΈ° κ°€μž₯ νž˜λ“  고톡이라고 잘 μ•Œλ €μ Έμžˆμ£ .
06:13
But I can tell you now, five years on,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 5λ…„ ν›„ μ œκ°€
06:16
what I already knew from the research.
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μ—°κ΅¬ν•˜λ©΄μ„œ 이미 μ•Œμ•˜λ˜ 닡에 λŒ€ν•΄ λ§μ”€λ“œλ¦¬κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:19
That you can rise up from adversity,
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ€ 역경을 λ”›κ³  일어섀 수 있고
06:23
that there are strategies that work,
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νš¨κ³ΌμžˆλŠ” 방법듀이 λΆ„λͺ… 있으며
06:25
that it is utterly possible
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νž˜λ“  μ‹œκΈ°λ₯Ό 이겨내기 μœ„ν•΄
06:27
to make yourself think and act in certain ways
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λ‚΄ μžμ‹ μ΄ μƒκ°ν•˜κ³  ν–‰λ™ν•˜λŠ” 것을
06:33
that help you navigate tough times.
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ν†΅μ œν•˜λŠ” 것이 λΆ„λͺ… κ°€λŠ₯ν•˜λ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
이 일을 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ ν•˜λŠ”μ§€μ— λŒ€ν•œ 기념비적인 연ꡬ κ²°κ³Όκ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:38
There is a monumental body of research on how to do this stuff.
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06:42
Today, I'm just going to share with you three strategies.
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였늘 μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„κ»˜ μ„Έ 가지 방법을 λ³΄μ—¬λ“œλ¦¬κ³ μž ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:45
These are my go-to strategies that I relied upon
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μ œκ°€ κ°€μž₯ νž˜λ“€μ—ˆλ˜ μ‹œκΈ°μ—
06:49
and saved me in my darkest days.
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많이 μ˜μ§€ν–ˆκ³  또 μ €λ₯Ό ꡬ해쀀 λ°©λ²•λ“€μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:52
They're three strategies that underpin all of my work,
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제 λͺ¨λ“  일을 λ’·λ°›μΉ¨ν•˜λŠ” μ„Έ 가지 μ „λž΅μΈλ°
06:56
and they're pretty readily available to us all,
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μ–Έμ œλ‚˜ 배울 수 있고
06:59
anyone can learn them,
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λˆ„κ΅¬λ‚˜ 배울 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:00
you can learn them right here today.
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„λ„ 이 μžλ¦¬μ—μ„œ λ°”λ‘œ λ°°μš°μ‹€ 수 μžˆμ–΄μš”.
07:04
So number one,
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첫 번째.
07:05
resilient people get that shit happens.
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회볡λ ₯이 κ°•ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ μ‚΄λ‹€ 보면 μ•ˆ 쒋은 일도 μžˆλ‹€λŠ” κ±Έ μ΄ν•΄ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:10
They know that suffering is part of life.
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고톡이 μ‚Άμ˜ μΌλΆ€μž„μ„ 잘 μ•Œκ³  있죠.
07:13
This doesn't mean they actually welcome it in,
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고톡을 λ°˜κΈ΄λ‹€λŠ” 건 μ•„λ‹ˆμ§€λ§Œ
07:16
they're not actually delusional.
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κ·Έλ ‡λ‹€κ³  망상속에 μ‚΄μ§€λŠ” μ•ŠλŠ”λ‹€λŠ” κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
07:18
Just that when the tough times come,
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κ·Έμ € κ³ λ‚œμ΄ λ‹₯쳐올 λ•Œ
07:21
they seem to know
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회볡λ ₯이 κ°•ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€
07:22
that suffering is part of every human existence.
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고톡은 λͺ¨λ“  μΈκ°„μ˜ μ‘΄μž¬μ„±μ˜ μΌλΆ€λΌλŠ” 것을 μ•Œκ³ μžˆλŠ” λ“― ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:27
And knowing this stops you from feeling discriminated against
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이걸 μ•Œκ³  있으면 "μ™œ λ‚˜λ§Œ?"ν•˜λŠ” 생각을 ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šκ²Œ 되죠.
07:32
when the tough times come.
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07:34
Never once did I find myself thinking,
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μ €λŠ” ν•œ λ²ˆλ„ 이런 생각을 ν•΄λ³Έ 적이 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:36
"Why me?"
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"μ™œ ν•˜ν•„ λ‚˜μ•Ό?"
07:38
In fact, I remember thinking,
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사싀 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ μƒκ°ν–ˆλ˜ 적이 μžˆμ–΄μš”.
07:40
"Why not me?
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"λ‚˜λ©΄ μ–΄λ•Œμ„œ?"
07:42
Terrible things happen to you,
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λͺ¨λ‘μ—κ²Œ 그렇듯이
07:43
just like they do everybody else.
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λ‚΄κ²Œλ„ λ”μ°ν•œ 일듀이 μƒκΈ°λŠ” κ±°μ•Ό.
07:45
That's your life now,
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이제 이게 λ„€ μΈμƒμ΄λ‹ˆκΉŒ
07:47
time to sink or swim."
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μ—΄μ‹¬νžˆ ν—€μ—„μΉ˜λ“ μ§€ 가라앉든지 ν•˜λŠ” κ±°μ•Ό."
07:49
The real tragedy
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μ§„μ§œ 비극은
07:51
is that not enough of us seem to know this any longer.
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이걸 μ•Œκ³  μžˆλŠ” μ‚¬λžŒμ΄ λͺ‡ μ•ˆ λ˜λŠ” 것 κ°™λ‹€λŠ” κ²λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:55
We seem to live in an age
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ§€κΈˆ μ‚¬λŠ” μ‹œλŒ€λŠ”
07:56
where we're entitled to a perfect life,
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μ™„λ²½ν•œ 인생을 λˆ„λ¦΄ 자격이 μžˆλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ”,
07:58
where shiny, happy photos on Instagram are the norm,
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μΈμŠ€νƒ€κ·Έλž¨μ— μ˜¬λΌμ˜€λŠ” ν™”λ €ν•˜κ³  행볡해 λ³΄μ΄λŠ” 사진듀이 λ‹Ήμ—°ν•œ μ‹œλŒ€μ£ .
08:02
when actually,
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사싀은
08:04
as you all demonstrated at the start of my talk,
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ΄ κ°•μ—° μ΄ˆλ°˜μ— 보여주셨듯이
08:08
the very opposite is true.
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ν˜„μ‹€μ€ κ·Έ μ •λ°˜λŒ€μΈλ° λ§μ΄μ—μš”.
08:12
Number two,
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두 번째.
08:14
resilient people
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회볡λ ₯이 κ°•ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€
08:17
are really good at choosing carefully where they select their attention.
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μ–΄λ–€ 것에 주의λ₯Ό κΈ°μšΈμ—¬μ•Όν•˜λŠ”μ§€ 잘 μ•Œκ³ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:24
They have a habit of realistically appraising situations,
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ν˜„μ‹€μ μœΌλ‘œ 상황을 λΆ„μ„ν•˜κ³ 
08:28
and typically, managing to focus on the things that they can change,
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μ „ν˜•μ μœΌλ‘œ λ°”κΏ€ 수 μžˆλŠ” 것듀에 μ§‘μ€‘ν•˜λ©°
08:33
and somehow accept the things that they can't.
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λ°”κΏ€ 수 μ—†λŠ” 건 λ°›μ•„λ“€μ΄λŠ” μŠ΅κ΄€μ΄ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:38
This is a vital, learnable skill for resilience.
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이건 회볡λ ₯을 μœ„ν•΄ μ•„μ£Ό μ€‘μš”ν•˜λ©΄μ„œ 배우기 μ‰¬μš΄ κΈ°μˆ μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:46
As humans, we are really good
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인간인 μš°λ¦¬λŠ”
08:49
at noticing threats and weaknesses.
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μœ„ν˜‘κ³Ό 약점을 λ¨Όμ € 보곀 ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:53
We are hardwired for that negative.
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뢀정적인 면을 보도둝 μ„€κ³„λ˜μ–΄μžˆμ–΄μš”.
그런 것듀은 μ–΄μ°Œλ‚˜ 잘 μ°Ύμ•„λ‚΄λŠ”μ§€μš”.
08:57
We're really, really good at noticing them.
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09:00
Negative emotions stick to us like Velcro,
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뢀정적인 감정듀은 찍찍이처럼 μš°λ¦¬μ—κ²Œ 달라뢙고
09:05
whereas positive emotions and experiences seems to bounce off like Teflon.
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긍정적인 κ°μ •μ΄λ‚˜ κ²½ν—˜λ“€μ€ ν…Œν”Œλ‘ μ²˜λŸΌ νŠ•κ²¨λ‚˜κ°€λŠ” 것 κ°™μ£ .
09:10
Being wired in this way is actually really good for us,
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μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ μ„€κ³„λœκ²Œ μš°λ¦¬μ—κ² 사싀 이득인데
09:13
and served us well from an evolutionary perspective.
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진화적인 κ΄€μ μ—μ„œ 보자면 도움이 되죠.
09:17
So imagine for a moment I'm a cavewoman,
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μ œκ°€ μ›μ‹œμΈμ΄λΌκ³  μƒκ°ν•΄λ³΄μ„Έμš”.
09:19
and I'm coming out of my cave in the morning,
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아침에 λ™κ΅΄μ—μ„œ λ‚˜μ˜€λŠ”λ°
09:22
and there's a saber-toothed tiger on one side
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ν•œ μͺ½μ—λŠ” κ²€μΉ˜ν˜Έλž‘μ΄ ν•œ λ§ˆλ¦¬κ°€ 있고
09:24
and a beautiful rainbow on the other.
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λ‹€λ₯Έ μͺ½μ—λŠ” μ•„λ¦„λ‹€μš΄ λ¬΄μ§€κ°œκ°€ λ– μžˆλŠ” κ±°μ˜ˆμš”.
09:26
It kind of pays for my survival for me to notice this tiger.
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이 ν˜Έλž‘μ΄κ°€ μžˆλ‹€λŠ” κ±Έ λ°”λ‘œ μ•Œμ•„μ±„λŠ” 게 제 μƒμ‘΄μ—λŠ” 큰 도움이 되겠죠.
09:31
The problem is,
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λ¬Έμ œλŠ”
09:33
we now live in an era where we are constantly bombarded
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μ§€κΈˆ μ‚΄κ³ μžˆλŠ” 이 μ‹œλŒ€μ—
μš°λ¦¬λŠ” ν•˜λ£¨μ’…μΌ κ³„μ†ν•΄μ„œ μ΄λŸ°μ €λŸ° μœ„ν˜‘μ— μ‹œλ‹¬λ¦°λ‹€λŠ” κ²λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:37
by threats all day long,
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09:39
and our poor brains treat every single one of those threats
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그리고 κ°€μ—¬μš΄ λ‡ŒλŠ” κ·Έ μœ„ν˜‘λ“€μ„ ν•˜λ‚˜κ°™μ΄ λ‹€
09:44
as though they were a tiger.
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ν˜Έλž‘μ΄λ§ŒνΌμ΄λ‚˜ 큰 μœ„ν˜‘μœΌλ‘œ κ°„μ£Όν•˜μ£ .
09:47
Our threat focus, our stress response,
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μœ„ν˜‘μ— λŒ€ν•œ 초점, 슀트레슀 λ°˜μ‘μ€
09:51
is permanently dialed up.
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영ꡬ적으둜 κΈ΄μž₯돼 μžˆλŠ” κ²λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:54
Resilient people don't diminish the negative,
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회볡λ ₯이 κ°•ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ 뢀정적인 κ±Έ λΆ€μΈν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ§€λ§Œ
09:58
but they also have worked out a way
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κ·Έ 상황을 쒋은 μͺ½μœΌλ‘œ λ§Œλ“œλŠ” 방법을 μ•Œκ³  μžˆμ–΄μš”.
10:01
of tuning into the good.
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10:05
One day, when doubts were threatening to overwhelm me,
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μ–΄λŠ λ‚  μ˜μ‹¬μ΄ λ“€μ–΄ λ„ˆλ¬΄ λ²„κ±°μš΄ 마음이 λ“€μ—ˆμ„ λ•Œ
10:09
I distinctly remember thinking,
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μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ μƒκ°ν–ˆλ˜ 게 λͺ…ν™•νžˆ κΈ°μ–΅λ‚˜λ„€μš”.
10:11
"No, you do not get to get swallowed up by this.
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"아냐. 여기에 νœ˜λ§λ €μ„  μ•ˆλΌ.
10:16
You have to survive.
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이겨내야 ν•΄.
10:18
You've got so much to live for.
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μ‚΄μ•„κ°€μ•Ό ν•  μ΄μœ κ°€ λ„ˆλ¬΄λ‚˜ λ§Žμž–μ•„.
10:21
Choose life, not death.
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죽음이 μ•„λ‹Œ 삢을 선택해야 ν•΄.
10:24
Don't lose what you have
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이미 μžƒμ–΄λ²„λ¦° 것 λ•Œλ¬Έμ—
10:26
to what you have lost."
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μ§€κΈˆ κ°–κ³  μžˆλŠ” κ²ƒκΉŒμ§€ μžƒμ–΄μ„  μ•ˆλΌ."
10:29
In psychology, we call this benefit finding.
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심리학에선 이걸 μœ μ΅μ„± 발견이라고 λΆ€λ¦…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:31
In my brave new world,
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μ €μ˜ 멋진 μ‹ μ„Έκ³„μ—μ„œλŠ”
10:33
it involved trying to find things to be grateful for.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•œ 일듀을 μ°ΎλŠ” κ²ƒκΉŒμ§€ λ”ν•΄μ‘Œμ£ .
10:37
At least our wee girl
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적어도 우리 예쁜 딸이
10:38
hadn't died of some terrible, long, drawn-out illness.
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λ”μ°ν•œ 병을 였래 μ•“λ‹€κ°€ 죽은 건 μ•„λ‹ˆμž–μ•„μš”.
10:43
She died suddenly, instantly,
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κ°‘μžκΈ° κ·Έ μžλ¦¬μ—μ„œ μ¦‰μ‚¬ν–ˆκΈ°μ—
10:45
sparing us and her that pain.
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아이도 μš°λ¦¬λ„ 그런 고톡을 κ²ͺ을 ν•„μš”κ°€ μ—†μ—ˆμ£ .
10:49
We had a huge amount of social support from family and friends
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μ €ν¬λŠ” μŠ¬ν””μ„ μ΄κ²¨λ‚΄λŠ” κ³Όμ •μ—μ„œ
κ°€μ‘±κ³Ό μΉœκ΅¬λ“€μ—κ²Œμ„œ μ—„μ²­λ‚œ 도움을 λ°›μ•˜μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:52
to help us through.
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10:54
And most of all,
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그리고 무엇보닀도
10:55
we still had two beautiful boys to live for,
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μ†Œμ€‘ν•œ 두 아듀을 μœ„ν•΄ μ‚΄μ•„κ°€μ•Ό ν•  μ΄μœ κ°€ μžˆμ—ˆμ£ .
10:59
who needed us now,
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아이듀은 μš°λ¦¬κ°€ ν•„μš”ν•˜κ³ 
μš°λ¦¬κ°€ ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” ν•œ ν‰λ²”ν•œ 삢을 μ£Όκ³  μ‹Άμ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:01
and deserved to have as normal a life as we could possibly give them.
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11:08
Being able to switch the focus of your attention
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주의λ₯Ό λ‹€λ₯Έ 곳으둜 돌렀
11:11
to also include the good
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쒋은 면을 바라볼 수 μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 건
11:13
has been shown by science to be a really powerful strategy.
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μ•„μ£Ό κ°•λ ₯ν•œ 방법이라고 과학은 λ’·λ°›μΉ¨ν•˜κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:17
So in 2005, Martin Seligman and colleagues conducted an experiment.
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2005년에 λ§ˆν‹΄ 셀리그맨과 λ™λ£Œλ“€μ΄ μ‹€ν—˜μ„ ν•˜λ‚˜ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:21
And they asked people, all they asked people to do,
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ—κ²Œ λ”± ν•œκ°€μ§€ 지령을 λ‚΄λ ΈλŠ”λ°
11:26
was think of three good things that had happened to them each day.
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ν•˜λ£¨μ— μžˆμ—ˆλ˜ 쒋은 일 μ„Έ κ°€μ§€μ”©λ§Œ μƒκ°ν•΄λ³΄λΌλŠ” κ²ƒμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:31
What they found, over the six months course of this study,
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6κ°œμ›” κ°„μ˜ 이 μ—°κ΅¬μ—μ„œ 그듀이 λ°œκ²¬ν•œ 것은
11:34
was that those people showed higher levels of gratitude,
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μ°Έκ°€μžλ“€μ΄ 더 κ°μ‚¬ν•œ λ§ˆμŒμ„ κ°–κ³ ,
11:38
higher levels of happiness
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ν–‰λ³΅μ§€μˆ˜κ°€ 높아지고,
이 μ‹€ν—˜μ— μ°Έκ°€ν•˜λŠ” λ™μ•ˆ μš°μšΈμ¦μ„ 덜 μ•“μ•˜λ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:40
and less depression over the course of the six-month study.
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11:45
When you're going through grief,
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μŠ¬ν””μ„ 이겨낼 λ•Œ
11:46
you might need a reminder,
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λˆ„κ΅°κ°€ λ‹€μ‹œ 상기해쀄 ν•„μš”κ°€ μžˆμ„μ§€λ„ λͺ°λΌμš”.
11:49
or you might need permission to feel grateful.
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μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ 감사할 수 μžˆλŠ” ν—ˆλ½μ΄ ν•„μš”ν•  지도 λͺ¨λ₯΄μ£ .
11:52
In our kitchen, we've got a bright pink neon poster
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저희 집 λΆ€μ—Œμ—λŠ” ν˜•κ΄‘ 뢄홍색 ν¬μŠ€ν„°κ°€ μžˆλŠ”λ°
11:55
that reminds us to "accept" the good.
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쒋은 것을 받아듀이라고 μƒκΈ°μ‹œμΌœμ€λ‹ˆλ‹€.
11:58
In the American army,
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λ―Έκ΅­ κ΅°λŒ€μ—μ„œλŠ”
12:00
they framed it a little bit differently.
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쑰금 λ‹€λ₯Έ μ‹μœΌλ‘œ ν‘œν˜„λλŠ”λ°
12:02
They talked to the army about hunting the good stuff.
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쒋은 것을 사λƒ₯ν•˜λΌκ³  κ°€λ₯΄μΉ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:06
Find the language that works for you,
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λ§ˆμŒμ— λ“œλŠ” λ‹¨μ–΄λ‘œ ν‘œν˜„ν•˜μ…”λ„ μ’‹μ•„μš”.
12:08
but whatever you do,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ–΄λ–€ ν‘œν˜„μ΄λ“ 
12:10
make an intentional, deliberate, ongoing effort
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μ—¬λŸ¬λΆ„μ˜ μ„Έμƒμ—μ„œ 쒋은 것듀에 μ΄ˆμ μ„ λ§žμΆ”κΈ° μœ„ν•΄
12:14
to tune into what's good in your world.
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μ˜λ„μ μ΄κ³ , κ³„νšμ μ΄κ³ , 지속적인 λ…Έλ ₯을 κΈ°μšΈμ΄μ„Έμš”.
12:18
Number three,
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μ„Έ 번째.
12:19
resilient people ask themselves,
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회볡λ ₯이 κ°•ν•œ μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ€ 슀슀둜 μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ λ¬»μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:21
"Is what I'm doing helping or harming me?"
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"λ‚΄κ°€ μ§€κΈˆ ν•˜λŠ” 일이 λ‚΄κ²Œ 도움이 λ˜λŠ”κ°€? ν•΄κ°€ λ˜λŠ”κ°€?"
12:25
This is a question that's used a lot in good therapy.
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쒋은 μ‹¬λ¦¬μΉ˜λ£Œμ— 자주 μ“°μ΄λŠ” μ§ˆλ¬Έμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:29
And boy, is it powerful.
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νš¨κ³Όκ°€ μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ λŒ€λ‹¨ν•˜λ‹€κ³ μš”.
12:31
This was my go-to question
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μ•„μ΄μ˜ μ£½μŒμ„ κ²½ν—˜ν•˜κ³  λ©°μΉ  κ°„
12:34
in the days after the girls died.
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제게 늘 이 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ„ ν•˜κ³€ ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:37
I would ask it again and again.
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제 μžμ‹ μ—κ²Œ 묻고 또 λ¬Όμ—ˆμ£ .
"μž¬νŒμ— κ°€μ„œ κ·Έ μš΄μ „μž 얼꡴을 λ΄μ•Όν• κΉŒ?
12:41
"Should I go to the trial and see the driver?
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12:44
Would that help me or would it harm me?"
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그게 λ‚΄κ²Œ 도움이 λ˜λŠ” 일일까? μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ λ‚˜λ₯Ό ν•΄μΉ˜λŠ” 일일까?"
12:46
Well, that was a no-brainer for me,
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생각할 ν•„μš”λ„ μ—†λŠ” μ§ˆλ¬Έμ΄μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
12:48
I chose to stay away.
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μ΅œλŒ€ν•œ 멀리 λ–¨μ–΄μ ΈμžˆκΈ°λ‘œ ν–ˆμ£ .
12:50
But Trevor, my husband, decided to meet with the driver
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ 제 λ‚¨νŽΈ νŠΈλ ˆλ²„λŠ”
λ‚˜μ€‘μ— κ·Έ μš΄μ „μžλ₯Ό λ§Œλ‚˜κΈ°λ‘œ ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
12:53
at a later time.
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12:55
Late at night, I'd find myself sometimes poring over old photos of Abi,
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λŠ¦μ€ λ°€, μ• λΉ„μ˜ 사진을 보며 κ·Έλ¦¬μ›Œν•˜κ³ 
13:00
getting more and more upset.
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점점 더 κ΄΄λ‘œμ›Œν•˜λŠ” 제 μžμ‹ μ„ λ°œκ²¬ν•  λ•Œκ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:02
I'd ask myself,
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그럴 λ•Œλ©΄ 제 μžμ‹ μ—κ²Œ 묻죠.
13:03
"Really? Is this helping you or is it harming you?
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"이게 λ‚΄κ²Œ 도움이 λ˜λŠ” 건가? μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ ν•΄κ°€ λ˜λŠ” 건가?
13:07
Put away the photos,
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사진은 넣어두고
13:09
go to bed for the night,
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μΉ¨λŒ€μ— κ°€μ„œ 자자.
13:10
be kind to yourself."
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μžμ‹ μ—κ²Œ λ‹€μ •ν•΄μ•Ό ν•΄."
13:13
This question can be applied to so many different contexts.
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이 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€ μ—¬λŸ¬ 상황에 μ μš©ν•  수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:17
Is the way I'm thinking and acting helping or harming you,
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λ‚΄κ°€ μƒκ°ν•˜κ³  ν–‰λ™ν•˜λŠ” 게 λ‚˜λ₯Ό 돕고 μžˆλ‚˜? μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ ν•΄μΉ˜κ³  μžˆλ‚˜?
13:21
in your bid to get that promotion,
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μŠΉμ§„μ„ ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•œ,
13:24
to pass that exam,
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μ‹œν—˜μ— ν•©κ²©ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•œ,
13:26
to recover from a heart attack?
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심μž₯λ§ˆλΉ„λ‘œλΆ€ν„° νšŒλ³΅ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•œ λ…Έλ ₯에 μžˆμ–΄μ„œμš”.
13:29
So many different ways.
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μ—¬λŸ¬ 상황이 정말 많죠.
13:31
I write a lot about resilience,
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μ €λŠ” 회볡λ ₯에 λŒ€ν•œ 글을 많이 μ“°λŠ”λ°
13:33
and over the years, this one strategy
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λͺ‡ λ…„ κ°„ 이 방법이
13:36
has prompted more positive feedback than any other.
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λ‹€λ₯Έ μ–΄λ–€ 방법보닀 더 λ§Žμ€ 긍정적 ν”Όλ“œλ°±μ„ μ΄λŒμ–΄λƒˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:39
I get scores of letters and emails and things
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μ‚¬λžŒλ“€μ΄ μ—¬κΈ°μ €κΈ°μ„œ νŽΈμ§€λ‚˜ 이메일, 선물듀을 λ³΄λ‚΄μ˜΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
13:42
from all over the place of people saying
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이 방법이 κ·Έλ“€μ˜ 삢에 μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜
13:44
what a huge impact it's had on their lives.
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μ»€λ‹€λž€ 영ν–₯을 λΌμ³€λŠ”μ§€ μ–˜κΈ°ν•˜λ©° λ§μ΄μ—μš”.
13:47
Whether it is forgiving family ancient transgressions, arguments
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μ§€λ‚œ ν¬λ¦¬μŠ€λ§ˆμŠ€μ— λ‹€ν‰œλ˜ 가쑱을 μš©μ„œν•˜λŠ” 일이든,
13:52
from Christmases past,
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13:54
or whether it is just trolling through social media,
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단지 μ†Œμ…œ λ―Έλ””μ–΄λ₯Ό 톡해 κ΄΄λ‘­νžˆλŠ” 것이든,
13:57
whether it is asking yourself
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μ •λ§λ‘œ 와인 ν•œ μž”μ„
14:00
whether you really need that extra glass of wine.
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더 λ§ˆμ…”μ•Όκ² λŠ”μ§€ μŠ€μŠ€λ‘œμ—κ²Œ λ¬»λŠ” 것이든.
14:04
Asking yourself whether what you're doing, the way you're thinking,
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λ‚΄κ°€ ν•˜λŠ” 일, μƒκ°ν•˜λŠ” 방식,
14:08
the way you're acting
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λ‚΄κ°€ ν–‰λ™ν•˜λŠ” 방식이
14:10
is helping or harming you,
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λ‚΄κ²Œ 도움이 λ˜λŠ”μ§€ ν•΄κ°€ λ˜λŠ”μ§€ μƒκ°ν•΄λ³΄λŠ” 건
14:13
puts you back in the driver's seat.
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μš°λ¦¬μ—κ²Œ μ£Όμ²΄κΆŒμ„ μ€λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:16
It gives you some control over your decision-making.
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결정을 ν•˜λŠ” 데에 μžˆμ–΄ μ–΄λŠμ •λ„ ν†΅μ œκΆŒμ„ κ°€μ§ˆ 수 있게 되죠.
14:22
Three strategies.
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μ„Έ 가지 방법.
14:24
Pretty simple.
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κ½€ κ°„λ‹¨ν•˜μ£ .
14:26
They're readily available to us all,
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우리 λͺ¨λ‘ μ–Έμ œ, μ–΄λ””μ„œλ“  μ“Έ 수 μžˆλŠ” λ°©λ²•μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:29
anytime, anywhere.
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14:32
They don't require rocket science.
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μ „ν˜€ λ³΅μž‘ν•˜μ§€ μ•Šμ•„μš”.
14:35
Resilience isn't some fixed trait.
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회볡λ ₯은 κ³ μ •λœ νŠΉμ„±μ΄ μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:39
It's not elusive,
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μ°ΎκΈ° 어렡지 μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:40
that some people have and some people don't.
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λˆ„κ΅° 있고 λˆ„κ΅° μ—†λŠ”κ²Œ μ•„λ‹ˆμ—μš”.
14:44
It actually requires very ordinary processes.
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μ•„μ£Ό ν‰λ²”ν•œ 과정을 ν•„μš”λ‘œ ν•˜λŠ”λ°
14:49
Just the willingness to give them a go.
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ν•˜κ³ μž ν•˜λŠ” μ˜μ§€μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
14:52
I think we all have moments in life
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우리 λͺ¨λ‘ 인생에 μžˆμ–΄μ„œ
14:55
where our life path splits
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κ°ˆλ¦ΌκΈΈμ„ λ§ˆμ£Όν•  λ•Œκ°€ 있죠.
14:57
and the journey we thought we were going down
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λ‚΄κ°€ κ°€κ³  μžˆλŠ” 길이
14:59
veers off to some terrible direction
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ μ „ν˜€ μ˜ˆμƒν•˜μ§€λ„ λͺ»ν–ˆκ³ 
15:03
that we never anticipated,
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μ›ν•˜μ§€λ„ μ•Šμ•˜λ˜
15:06
and we certainly didn't want.
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λ”μ°ν•œ λ°©ν–₯으둜 ν‹€μ–΄μ§ˆ λ•Œλ„ μžˆκ³ μš”.
15:08
It happened to me.
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제게 그런 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚¬μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:10
It was awful beyond imagining.
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상상 μ΄μƒμœΌλ‘œ λ”μ°ν–ˆμ–΄μš”.
15:13
If you ever find yourselves in a situation where you think
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ν˜Ήμ‹œλΌλ„
"이 일을 이겨낼 수 μžˆμ„κΉŒ"ν•  λ•Œκ°€ μ˜¨λ‹€λ©΄
15:18
"There's no way I'm coming back from this,"
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15:22
I urge you to lean into these strategies
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μ œκ°€ λ§μ”€λ“œλ¦° 이 방법을 배우고
15:25
and think again.
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λ‹€μ‹œ μƒκ°ν•΄λ³΄μ‹œκΈΈ λ°”λžλ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:28
I won't pretend
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μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ μƒκ°μ˜ λ°©ν–₯을 λ°”κΎΈλŠ”κ²Œ
15:31
that thinking this way is easy.
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μ ˆλŒ€ 쉬웠닀고 μ–˜κΈ°ν•˜μ§„ μ•Šκ² μ–΄μš”.
15:34
And it doesn't remove all the pain.
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고톡이 μ „λΆ€ μ—†μ–΄μ§€λŠ” 것도 μ•„λ‹ˆκ³ μš”.
15:37
But if I've learned anything over the last five years,
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ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ μ§€λ‚œ 5λ…„ κ°„ μ œκ°€ 깨달은 것은
15:42
it is that thinking this way really does help.
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μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ 생각을 λ°”κΎΈλŠ”κ²Œ 정말 도움이 λœλ‹€λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
15:46
More than anything,
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무엇보닀도
15:47
it has shown me that it is possible
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μŠ¬νΌν•˜λ©΄μ„œλ„ κ³„μ†ν•΄μ„œ μ‚΄μ•„κ°ˆ 수 μžˆλ‹€λŠ” 게
15:51
to live and grieve at the same time.
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κ°€λŠ₯ν•˜λ‹€λŠ” κ±Έ μ•Œκ²Œλμ–΄μš”.
15:55
And for that, I would be always grateful.
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κ·Έλž˜μ„œ 늘 κ°μ‚¬ν•œ λ§ˆμŒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:00
Thank you.
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
16:01
(Applause)
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(λ°•μˆ˜)
이 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈ 정보

이 μ‚¬μ΄νŠΈλŠ” μ˜μ–΄ ν•™μŠ΅μ— μœ μš©ν•œ YouTube λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μ†Œκ°œν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ „ 세계 졜고의 μ„ μƒλ‹˜λ“€μ΄ κ°€λ₯΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μˆ˜μ—…μ„ 보게 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. 각 λ™μ˜μƒ νŽ˜μ΄μ§€μ— ν‘œμ‹œλ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μžλ§‰μ„ 더블 ν΄λ¦­ν•˜λ©΄ κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ λ™μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λΉ„λ””μ˜€ μž¬μƒμ— 맞좰 μžλ§‰μ΄ μŠ€ν¬λ‘€λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ˜κ²¬μ΄λ‚˜ μš”μ²­μ΄ μžˆλŠ” 경우 이 문의 양식을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ—¬ λ¬Έμ˜ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.

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