How Dolly Parton led me to an epiphany | Jad Abumrad

Translator: Anna Suana Reviewer: Anna Comas-Quinn

I want to tell you about my search for purpose as a journalist

Vull parlar-vos de la meva cerca d'objectius com a periodista

and how Dolly Parton helped me figure it out.

i com em va ajudar la Dolly Parton.

So I've been telling audio stories for about 20 years,

Fa uns 20 anys que explico històries,

first on the radio and then in podcasts.

primer a la ràdio i després en podcasts.

When I started the radio show "Radiolab" in 2002,

Quan vaig començar el programa de ràdio "Radiolab" el 2002,

here was the quintessential story move we would do.

semblava el programa d'històries per excel·lència.

We'd bring on somebody --

Fèiem venir algú...

(Audio) Steven Strogatz: It's one of the most hypnotic

(Audio) Steven Strogatz: És dels espectacles

and spellbinding spectacles in nature,

més hipnòtics i fascinants de la natura,

because, you have to keep in mind, it is absolutely silent.

perquè, tingueu en compte, hi ha silenci absolut.

Jad Abumrad: Like this guy, mathematician, Steve Strogatz,

Jad Abumrad: Com aquell matemàtic, l'Steve Strogatz,

and he would paint a picture.

que ho describia tan bé.

SS: Picture it. There's a riverbank in Thailand,

SS: Imagineu-vos. Hi ha una ribera a Tailàndia,

in the remote part of the jungle,

en un lloc perdut de la selva,

you're in a canoe, slipping down the river.

baixes pel riu en una canoa.

There's no sound of anything,

No se sent res de res,

maybe the occasional, you know, exotic jungle bird or something.

potser, de tant en tant, algun ocell exòtic.

JA: So you're in this imaginary canoe with Steve,

JA: Ets en aquesta canoa imaginària amb l'Steve,

and in the air all around you are millions of fireflies.

i al voltant hi ha milers de cuques de llum.

And what you see is sort of a randomized starry-night effect.

Fa l'efecte d'una nit estrellada

Because all the fireflies are blinking at different rates.

perquè les cuques de llum parpellegen a different ritme,

Which is what you would expect.

que és el que et podries esperar.

But according to Steve, in this one place,

Però segons l'Steve, en aquest lloc,

for reasons no scientist can fully explain --

per motius que cap científic pot explicar clarament...

SS: Whoop.

SS: Ups.

Whoop.

Ups.

Whoop.

Ups.

With thousands of lights on and then off, all in sync.

Milers de llums que s'encenen i s'apaguen sincronitzadament.

(Music and electric sounds)

(Música i sons electrònics)

JA: Now it's around this time

JA: Ara seria el moment

that I would generally bring in the beautiful music, as I just did,

que jo posaria aquesta música preciosa, com acabo de fer,

i començarieu a notar una sensació càlida.

and you'd start to get that warm feeling.

A feeling, that we know from science,

Un sentiment que, segons la ciència,

kind of localizes in your head and chest

d'alguna manera es troba al cap i al pit

and spreads through your body.

i s'escampa per tot el cos.

It's that feeling of wonder.

És una sensació de sorpresa.

From 2002 to 2010, I did hundreds of these stories.

Del 2002 al 2010 vaig fer centenars d'històries com aquesta.

Sciency, neurosciency, very heady, brainy stories

Ciència, neurociència, històries molt intel·ligents i estimulants

that would always resolve into that feeling of wonder.

que sempre acabaven amb aquell sentiment d'incredulitat.

And I began to see that as my job,

I vaig començar a considerar que la meva feina,

to lead people to moments of wonder.

era portar moments de sorpresa a la gent.

What that sounded like was:

Les respostes eren del tipus:

(Various voices) "Huh!" "Wow!" "Wow!"

(vàries veus) "Com?" "Uau!" "Uau!"

"That's amazing."

"Impressionant."

"Whoa!" "Wow!"

"Apa!" "Uau!"

JA: But I began to get kind of tired of these stories.

JA: Però em vaig començar a cansar d'aquestes històries.

I mean, partially, it was the repetition.

És a dir, en part, era per la repetició.

I remember there was a day I was sitting at the computer,

Recordo un dia que estava assegut davant de l'ordinador,

making the sound of a neuron.

fent el so d'una neurona.

(Crackling sound)

(Cruixit)

You know, take some white noise, chop it up, very easy sound to make.

Agafes un so en blanc i el talles, un so molt fàcil de fer.

I remember thinking, "I have made this sound 25 times."

Recordo haver pensat: "He fet aquest so 25 vegades".

But it was more than that --

Però era molt més que això...

there was a familiar path to these stories.

Les històries tenien un trajectòria familiar.

You walk the path of truth, which is made of science,

Vas pel camí de la veritat, que és fet de ciència,

and you get to wonder.

i comences a qüestionar-te.

Now, I love science, don't get me wrong.

M'encanta la ciència, no em malinterpreteu.

My parents emigrated from a war-torn country,

Els meus pares van emigrar d'un país devastat per la guerra

came to America,

a Amèrica,

and science for them was, like, more their identity than anything else,

i la ciència per a ells era un senyal d'identitat,

and I inherited that from them.

i jo ho vaig heretar d'ells.

But there was something about that simple movement

Però hi havia alguna cosa d'aquest simple pas

from science to wonder

de la ciència a la sorpresa

that just started to feel wrong to me.

que no m'acabava de fer el pes.

Like, is that the only path a story can take?

És l'únic camí que pot prendre una història?

Around 2012,

Cap al 2012.

I ran into a bunch of different stories that made me think, "No."

vaig topar-me amb unes històries diferents que em van fer pensar: "No."

One story in particular,

Una d'aquelles històries,

where we interviewed a guy who described chemical weapons

on vam entrevistar un paio que describia com havien fet servir

being used against him and his fellow villagers

armes químiques contra ell i els del seu poble

in the mountains of Laos.

a les muntanyes de Laos.

Western scientists went there,

Hi van anar científics occidentals,

measured for chemical weapons, didn't find any.

van buscar les armes químiques, i no en van trobar cap.

We interviewed the man about this,

En vam parlar amb aquell home

he said the scientists were wrong.

i ens va dir que els científics estaven equivocats.

We said, "But they tested."

Li vam dir: "Però ho van comprovar".

He said, "I don't care, I know what happened to me."

Va dir: "M'és igual. Jo sé el que em va passar a mi."

And we went back and forth and back and forth,

I vam estar així donar voltes i voltes,

and make a long story short,

i, per resumir-ho,

the interview ended in tears.

va acabar plorant.

I felt ...

Em vaig sentir...

I felt horrible.

fatal.

Like, hammering at a scientific truth, when someone has suffered.

Insistint en una veritat científica quan algú ha patit.

That wasn't going to heal anything.

Això no arreglaria res.

And maybe I was relying too much on science to find the truth.

Potser confiava massa en la ciència per trobar la veritat.

And it really did feel, at that moment,

En aquell moment, em va semblar

that there were a lot of truths in the room,

que hi havia moltes veritats possibles,

and we were only looking at one of them.

i només ens en miràvem una.

So I thought, "I've got to get better at this."

Vaig pensar: "He de millorar".

And so for the next eight years,

I durant els següents vuit anys,

I committed myself to doing stories where you heard truths collide.

Em vaig comprometre a explicar històries amb veritats enfrontades.

We did stories about the politics of consent,

Vam explicar històries sobre el consentiment,

where you heard the perspective of survivors and perpetrators

on veies la perspectiva dels supervivents i dels criminals

whose narratives clashed.

i els seus arguments xocaven.

We did stories about race,

Vam explicar històries sobre la raça,

how black men are systematically eliminated from juries,

com s'eliminen sistemàticament els negres d'un jurat,

and yet, the rules that try and prevent that from happening

i que, les normes que intenten evitar-ho

only make things worse.

encara ho empitjoren.

Stories about counter terrorism, Guantanamo detainees,

Històries sobre antiterrorisme, de detinguts de Guantánamo

stories where everything is disputed,

on tot és un conflicte

all you can do is struggle to try and make sense.

i tot el que pots fer és lluitar per trobar-hi sentit.

And this struggle kind of became the point.

I aquesta lluita va ser com el senyal.

Vaig començar a pensar: "Potser això és el que vull."

I began to think, "Maybe that's my job."

To lead people to moments of struggle.

Portar a la gent a moments de lluita.

Here's what that sounded like:

Però la gent em deia:

(Various voices) "But I see -- I, like --"

(vàries veus) "Ja t'entenc... com..."

"Uh, I --" (Sighs)

mmmm (sospira)

"Well, so, like, huh --"

"Ah, bé...mmm"

"That, I mean, I --"

"No ho sé..."

"You know -- golly -- I --" (Sighs)

"Ah, sí? Ondia!" (sospira)

JA: And that sigh right there,

JA: Jo volia sentir aquell sospir

I wanted to hear that sound in every single story,

en cada una de les històries,

because that sound is kind of our current moment, right?

perquè aquest so és com el moment present, no?

We live in a world where truth is no longer just a set of facts

Vivim en un món on la veritat ja no és un seguit de fets

to be captured.

que hem de copsar.

It's become a process.

Ha esdevingut un procés.

It's gone from being a noun to being a verb.

Ha passat de ser un nom a ser un verb.

But how do you end that story?

Però com acabes aquesta història?

Like, what literally kept happening is we'd be, you know, telling a story,

El que passa és que, de fet, expliques una història,

cruising along, two viewpoints in conflict,

enfrontant dos punts de vista,

you get to the end and it's just like --

i arribes al final i penses...

No, let me see.

No, a veure...

What do I say at the end?

Què dic al final?

Oh, my God.

Déu meu!

What do you -- how do you end that story?

Com... com s'acaba aquesta història?

You can't just happily-ever-after it,

No pots dir: "I van ser feliços..."

because that doesn't feel real.

perquè no és veritat.

At the same time,

Però alhora,

if you just leave people in that stuck place,

si deixes la gent encallada en aquell lloc...

like, "Why did I just listen to that?"

preguntant-se: "Per què ho he escoltat?"

Like, it felt like there had to be another move there.

Em semblava que hi havia d'haver un altre pas.

Had to be a way beyond the struggle.

Hi havia d'haver una sortida a la lluita.

And this is what brings me to Dolly.

I això és el que em porta a la Dolly.

Or Saint Dolly, as we like to call her in the South.

O Santa Dolly, com ens agrada dir-li al Sud.

I want to tell you about one little glimmer of an epiphany that I had,

Vull explicar-vos una revelació que vaig tenir de sobte,

doing a nine-part series called "Dolly Parton's America" last year.

mentre feia una sèrie de 9 capítols l'any passat, "Dolly Parton's America".

It was a bit of a departure for me,

Va ser com un punt de partida...

but I just had this intuition that Dolly could help me

i vaig tenir la intuïció que la Dolly em podria ajudar

figure out this ending problem.

a solucionar el problema del final.

And here was the basic intuition:

Aquesta va ser la intuïció:

You go to a Dolly concert,

Vas a un concert,

you see men in trucker hats standing next to men in drag,

veus homes amb gorres de transportista al costat de drag-queens,

Democrats standing next to Republicans,

demòcrates al costat de republicans,

women holding hands,

dones donant-se la mà,

every different kind of person smashed together.

tot tipus de persones juntes.

All of these people that we are told should hate each other

Tot de gent que en teoria s'haurien d'odiar

are there singing together.

estan cantant tots plegats.

She somehow carved out this unique space in America,

D'alguna manera va forjar aquest espai únic a Amèrica,

and I wanted to know, how did she do that?

i jo volia saber, com s'ho va fer?

So I interviewed Dolly 12 times, two separate continents.

Així que vaig entrevistar la Dolly 12 vegades en dos continents.

She started every interview this way:

Començava totes les entrevistes així:

(Audio) Dolly Parton: Ask me whatever you ask me,

(Audio) Dolly Parton: Pregunta'm el que vulguis

and I'm going to tell you what I want you to hear.

que et diré el que jo vull sentir.

(Laughter)

(Rialles)

JA: She is undeniably a force of nature.

JA: És indiscutiblement una força de la natura.

But the problem that I ran into

Però el problema amb què em vaig topar

is that I had chosen a conceit for this series

és que havia triat un concepte per aquesta sèrie

that my soul had trouble with.

que em presentava problemes personals.

Dolly sings a lot about the South.

La Dolly canta molt sobre el Sud.

If you go through her discography,

Si mires la seva discografia,

you will hear song after song about Tennessee.

veuràs que moltes cançons parlen de Tennessee.

(Music) DP: (Singing, various songs) Tennessee, Tennessee...

(Music) DP: (Canten, vàries cançons) Tennessee, Tennessee...

Tennessee homesick ...

Nostàlgia de Tennessee...

I've got those Tennessee homesick blues runnin' through my head.

Tinc l'enyor trist de Tennessee dins del cap

Tennessee.

Tennessee.

JA: "Tennessee Mountain Home," "Tennessee Mountain Memories."

JA: "Tennessee Mountain Home," "Tennessee Mountain Memories."

Now I grew up in Tennessee,

Jo em vaig criar a Tennessee,

and I felt no nostalgia for that place.

i no sentia cap nostàlgia per aquell lloc,

I was the scrawny Arab kid

jo era el nen àrab esmirriat

who came from the place that invented suicide bombing.

que provenia d'on es van inventar els atacs suïcides.

I spent a lot of time in my room.

Em passava moltes hores a la meva habitació.

When I left Nashville,

Quan vaig marxar de Nashville,

I left.

vaig marxar definitivament.

I remember being at Dollywood,

Recordo estar a Dollywood,

standing in front of a replica, replica of her Tennessee Mountain Home.

davant d'una rèpica de la seva casa de la muntanya a Tennessee.

People all around me were crying.

La gent plorava.

This is a set.

És una rèplica.

Why are you crying?

Per què ploreu?

I couldn't understand why they were so emotional,

No entenia per què estaven tan emocionats,

especially given my relationship to the South.

especialment, per la meva relació amb el Sud.

And I started to honestly have panic attacks about this.

I per això vaig començar a tenir atacs de pànic.

"Am I not the right person for this project?"

"Potser no sóc la persona adequada per això?"

But then ...

Però llavors...

twist of fate.

un gir del destí.

We meet this guy, Bryan Seaver,

Vam conèixer en Bryan Seaver,

Dolly's nephew and bodyguard.

el nebot i guardaespatlles de la Dolly.

And on a whim, he drives producer Shima Oliaee and I

I en un rampell, ens va portar,

out of Dollywood,

al productor Shima Oliaee i a mi,

de Dollywood cap a les muntanyes,

round the back side of the mountains,

up the mountains 20 minutes,

fins dalt en 20 minuts,

down a narrow dirt road,

per una carretereta estreta,

through giant wooden gates that look right out of "Game of Thrones,"

per unes portes de fusta gegants que semblaven de "Joc de Trons",

and into the actual Tennessee Mountain Home.

fins a la "Casa de Tennessee".

But the real place.

La de debò.

Valhalla.

Valhalla.

The real Tennessee Mountain Home.

La "Casa de la Muntanya" de debò.

And I'm going to score this part with Wagner,

I en aquesta part hi posaré Wagner,

because you've got to understand,

perquè heu d'entendre que,

in Tennessee lore,

segons es diu a Tennessee,

this is like hallowed ground, the Tennessee Mountain Home.

la "Casa de la Muntanya" és com un lloc sagrat.

So I remember standing there, on the grass,

Recordo estar-me allà palplantat, damunt l'herba,

next to the Pigeon River,

al costat de Pigeon River,

butterflies doing loopty loops in the air,

amb les papallones aletejant,

and I had my own moment of wonder.

vaig tenir el meu moment d'esbalaïment.

Dolly's Tennessee Mountain Home

La casa de Tennessee de la Dolly

looks exactly like my dad's home in the mountains of Lebanon.

era exactament igual que la del meu pare a les muntanyes del Líban.

Her house looks just like the place that he left.

La seva casa és igual que la que ell va deixar.

And that simple bit of layering led me to have a conversation with him

Aquesta simple relació em va portar a tenir-hi una conversa

that I'd never had before,

que mai no havia tingut,

about the pain he felt leaving his home.

sobre el dolor de deixar la pròpia casa.

And how he hears that in Dolly's music.

I com ho percep en la música de la Dolly.

Then I had a conversation with Dolly where she described her songs

Llavors vaig tenir una conversa amb la Dolly on em describia les cançons

as migration music.

com a música de migració.

Even that classic song,

Fins i tot la típica cançó,

"Tennessee Mountain Home," if you listen to it --

"Tennesse Mountain Home", si l'escoltes...

(Dolly Parton "Tennessee Mountain Home")

(Dolly Parton "Tennessee Mountain Home")

"Sittin' on the front porch on a summer afternoon

"Asseguda al porxo una tarda d'estiu

In a straight-backed chair on two legs,

en una cadira amb dues potes,

leaned against the wall."

arrepenjada a la paret."

It's about trying to capture a moment that you know is already gone.

Es tracta de capturar un moment que saps que ja ha passat.

But if you can paint it, vividly,

Però si ho pots plasmar clarament,

maybe you can freeze it in place, almost like in resin,

potser ho pots congelar, atrapar a la resina,

trapped between past and present.

entre el passat i el present.

That is the immigrant experience.

Aquesta és l'experiència de l'immigrant.

And that simple thought led me to a million conversations.

I aquest senzill pensament em va dur a milions de converses.

I started talking to musicologists about country music as a whole.

Vaig començar a parlar amb musicòlegs sobre la música country en general.

This genre that I've always felt so

Aquesta música que sempre he trobat

having nothing to do with where I came from

que no té res a veure amb el meu país

is actually made up of instruments and musical styles

de fet està feta amb instruments i estils de música

that came directly from the Middle East.

que provenen directament de l'Orient Mitjà.

In fact, there were trade routes that ran from what is now Lebanon

De fet, hi havia rutes comercials que partien d'on ara és el Líban

right up into the mountains of East Tennessee.

i anaven fins les muntanyes de l'est de Tennessee.

I can honestly say, standing there, looking at her home,

Puc dir honestament, que allà dret, mirant la seva casa,

was the first time I felt like I'm a Tennessean.

va ser la primera vegada que em vaig sentir de Tennessee.

That is honestly true.

De debò.

And this wasn't a one-time thing,

I no va ser només això.

I mean, over and over again,

Vull dir que sovint

she would force me beyond the simple categories

em feia sortir de les simples categories

I had constructed for the world.

en què jo havia organitzat el món.

I remember talking with her about her seven-year partnership

Recordo parlar-li de la relació amb en Porter Wagoner

with Porter Wagoner.

durant set anys.

1967, she joins his band, he is the biggest thing in country music,

El 1967 va entrar a la seva banda i ell era l'estrella del country,

she is a backup singer, a nobody.

mentre que ella no era ningú, només feia els cors.

Within a short time, she gets huge,

En poc temps, ella es fa famosa,

he gets jealous,

ell s'engeloseix,

he then sues her for three million dollars

i la demanda per tres milions de dòlars

when she tries to leave.

quan ella vol marxar.

Now it would be really easy to see Porter Wagoner

Seria molt fàcil veure en Porter Wagoner

as, like, a type: classic, patriarchal jackass,

com al clàssic patriarca idiota,

que va intentar retenir-la.

trying to hold her back.

But any time I would suggest that to her,

Però sempre que li suggeria,

like, come on.

dona...

(Audio) This is a guy, I mean, you see it in the videos too,

(Audio) És que era un paio, es veu en els vídeos,

he's got his arm around you.

et posava el braç a l'espatlla.

There's a power thing happening, for sure.

Hi havia com una relació de poder, segur.

DP: Well, it's more complicated than that.

DP: Bé, era més complicat.

I mean, just think about it.

Pensa-hi.

He had had this show for years,

Feia molts anys que feia allò,

he didn't need me to have his hit show.

no em necessitava per tenir èxit.

He wasn't expecting me to be all that I was, either.

Tampoc esperava que jo destaqués.

I was a serious entertainer, he didn't know that.

Jo era una gran artista i ell no ho sabia.

He didn't know how many dreams I had.

No sabia els somnis que jo tenia.

JA: In effect, she kept telling me,

JA: De fet, em deia,

"Don't bring your stupid way of seeing the world into my story,

"No portis la teva manera de veure el món a la meva història,

because that's not what it was.

perquè no era així.

Yeah, there was power, but that's not all there was.

Sí, hi havia poder, però no només això.

You can't summarize this."

No es pot resumir així."

Alright, just to zoom out.

D'acord, per tirar enrere...

What do I make of this?

Què en trec d'això?

Well, I think there's something in here that's a clue, a way forward.

Penso que hi ha alguna cosa aquí que és com una pista, un camí a seguir.

As journalists, we love difference.

Als periodistes ens encanta la diferència.

We love to fetishize difference.

Som molt fetitxistes amb això.

But increasingly, in this confusing world,

Però cada cop més, en aquest món tan confús,

we need to be the bridge between those differences.

hem de ser el pont entre aquestes diferències.

But how do you do that?

Però com es fa?

I think for me, now, the answer is simple.

Per mi, ara, la resposta és senzilla.

You interrogate those differences,

Et preguntes sobre aquestes diferències,

you hold them for as long as you can,

t'hi endinses tan com pots,

until, like up on that mountain,

fins que, com dalt d'aquella muntanya,

something happens,

passa alguna cosa,

something reveals itself.

com una revelació.

Story cannot end in difference.

No es pot acabar amb les diferències.

It's got to end in revelation.

S'ha d'acabar amb la revelació.

And coming back from that trip on the mountain,

Tornant d'aquella excursió a la muntanya,

a friend of mine gave me a book that gave this whole idea a name.

un amic meu em va donar un llibre que donava un nom a aquesta idea.

In psychotherapy, there's this idea called the third,

En psicoteràpia, hi ha una idea que es diu "el tercer",

which essentially goes like this.

que bàsicament diu:

Typically, we think of ourselves as these autonomous units.

Sovint ens considerem com a unitats autònomes.

I do something to you, you do something to me.

Jo et faig alguna cosa i tu em fas una altra cosa.

But according to this theory, when two people come together

Però segons aquesta teoria, quan dues persones es troben

and really commit to seeing each other,

i realment es comprometen a veure's,

in that mutual act of recognition,

en aquest acte de reconeixement mutu,

they actually make something new.

creen una cosa nova.

A new entity that is their relationship.

Una nova entitat que és la seva relació.

You can think of Dolly's concerts as sort of a cultural third space.

Podem pensar en el concerts de la Dolly com un "tercer espai cultural".

The way she sees all the different parts of her audience,

La manera com veu les diferents parts del públic,

the way they see her,

la manera com ells la veuen,

creates the spiritual architecture of that space.

crea l'arquitectura espiritual de l'espai.

And I think now that is my calling.

I m'hi sento cridat.

That as a journalist,

Com a periodista,

as a storyteller,

com a narrador,

as just an American,

i simplement com a americà,

living in a country struggling to hold,

que viu en un país que lluita per aguantar,

that every story I tell has got to find the third.

vull que cada història que explico trobi "el tercer".

That place where the things we hold as different

Un lloc on el que considerem diferent

resolve themselves into something new.

acabi transformant-se en alguna cosa nova.

Thank you.

Gràcies.