How to fossilize...yourself - Phoebe A. Cohen

怎麼讓自己變成化石 - 非比 A. 柯恩

譯者: 瑞文Eleven 林Lim 審譯者: Adrienne Lin

Imagine being a fossil:

想像若你成為化石

touring the world's great museums,

遊走於各大博物館之間

inspiring awe in onlookers of all ages,

讓大人小孩都心懷敬畏

posing for hordes of fawning photographers.

在大批殷勤的攝影師面擺姿勢

Sound like something you'd like?

感覺滿不錯的，是吧！

Well, good luck!

那麼，祝你好運囉！

At least 99.9% of creatures that have ever lived

99.9%以上曾經存在的生物

aren't preserved in the fossil record.

都無緣成為化石

But forget about them,

那就不管他們 反正其他的能變化石就好

everyone else will,

and listen up!

所以聽仔細了

If you want your corpse

如果你期待自己

in the exclusive 0.01% Club,

擠進那個0.01%俱樂部

the Hall of Preserved Fossil Fame,

被供入化石名人堂中保存

it will not be easy.

說來可真的不容易

You better work!

你得加把勁才行

Step one: die.

首先，你得死

It's a cold, hard fact of fossilization.

變成化石的過程可是冷酷無情的

Everything paleontologists find

古生物學家發現的一切

was once alive and, at some point, died.

都曾是活生生的生命

We'll skip the details

細節咱們就不談了

and assume you had a long, fulfilling life

假設你擁有長壽而幸福的一生

so we can get to what is really important --

然後再來看看最關鍵的部分

how you die.

怎麼個死法？

There are many ways to become a fossil,

變成化石的方式有很多

so let's highlight your top death options.

讓我們看看高檔的做法

You could get yourself trapped in tree sap,

你可以將自己裹在樹脂中

which, when hardens, turns into amber

樹脂凝固就變成琥珀

and can survive intact for millions of years.

可以保存幾百萬年仍完好無缺

But unless you find a really big tree to sit under,

但除非你找到一棵夠大的樹

amber preservation will likely remain

不然琥珀很通常只能保存

the domain of insects and other very small animals.

昆蟲和其他很小很小的動物屍體

Generally, the right place to be

若你想變成化石

if you want to end up a fossil

一般而言，最佳的死亡處所

is wherever sediment is actively being deposited,

是容易保存沉積物的地方

like a lake or an ocean floor.

像湖底或海床

A mountaintop or prairie?

至於山頂或大草原

Not good!

不妥

You need to get buried,

你死後必須儘早被埋起來

the faster the better,

越快越好

because the longer you hang around on the surface,

因為暴露在外的時間越久

the more likely you'll get eaten,

就越可能被吃掉、吃個精光

scavenged,

or otherwise destroyed

或是在能夠得到機會長久保存之前

before ever having a chance to get preserved.

就被破壞了

If you can get buried someplace

如果你埋身之處

with little to no oxygen,

是缺氧甚至無氧的地方

like a bog or a deep lake bottom,

像是沼澤或是很深的湖底

even better.

就更適合了

That lack of oxygen will slow down your decay

缺氧會減緩屍體的腐爛

and give you more time to fossilize.

為你爭取更多時間好變成化石

So, let's say you're lucky enough to die

那麼，假設你幸運地

and get buried in a shallow sea

死後被埋在淺海

under muddy, sandy sediments.

泥濘的砂質沉積物下

What's your next move?

接下來會怎樣?

One option is a process

有一種可能是經歷所謂 「完全石化」的過程

called permineralization.

While all your soft parts decay away,

你身體中柔軟的部分腐爛掉

your bones get saturated with mineral-rich waters.

骨骼中充滿富含礦物質的海水

Bit by bit, microscopic crystals precipitate

漸漸地

由海水中析出微小的晶體

out of these waters

to fill in the empty spaces and pores in your bones.

填滿骨骼裡的細孔

Otherwise, you'd better hope

不然，你得祈禱

the sediments around you harden

在你的骨骼腐朽時

while your bones decay away

周遭沉積物會硬化

and another sediment or mineral fills in the spaces

有別的沉積物或礦物質

your bones leave behind,

能填充骨骼留下的空間

creating a perfect cast of your skeleton.

形成完美的骨骼造型

Over time, the sediments around your fossil

久而久之，你身體化石周圍的沉積物

will lithify or turn into rock.

都變成岩石

But you're not in the clear yet!

但你還是不能放心！

Many things could happen

這些沉積岩還可能

to those sedimentary rocks

發生許多變化

that might destroy your chances

都可能壞了大事

of getting discovered.

導致後人無法發現你的化石

They could get uplifted into a mountain range

它們可能因造山運動而被抬升

and eroded away

再經侵蝕而流失

or carried along in an oceanic plate

或是隨著海洋板塊

and subducted back into the Earth's mantle,

被帶入地殼之中

melting your fossil into hot mush.

將化石熔化殆盡

Fingers crossed your rock surroundings

如果這些都沒發生 只希望你周圍的岩石

will get gently lifted up

會被板塊

by plate tectonics,

緩慢的抬升

sea levels will change,

隨著海平面改變

and you'll end up under dry land

你最終落腳在乾燥的陸地

close to the surface,

接近地表

but not so close

但又不會太淺

that erosion from wind and rain wipes you away

以免你在被發現之前

before someone can come find you.

就被風雨或流水侵蝕殆盡

The last step in this long process,

這個漫長過程的最後一步

an intrepid paleontologist has to come find you.

是一位勇敢的古生物學家 必須要找到你

Maybe she's a research scientist

也許她會是名專業研究員

scouting for fossils your age and type

四處尋找你這樣年代和類型的化石

or just an amateur collector

或者只是業餘收藏者

hoping for a fortuitous find.

期待偶然的發現

She whacks away at layers of rock above you

她敲開你上方的岩層

or spots your fossil exposed

或是辨識出經過一場洪水的溪畔

in a creek bank after a flood.

你化石露出的部分

And there you are,

賓果！

a magnificent scientific discovery,

一項重大的科學發現

millions of years in the making!

經歷幾百萬年的磨礪！

She and her colleagues gently extract you

她和同事們小心翼翼地

from the surrounding sediment,

把你挖出來

measure and photograph

他們發現的一點一滴

all the bits and pieces they find,

都經仔細測量與拍照

and begin the complex task of reconstructing

然後依據發現的證據

how and when you lived

開始複雜的重建工作

based on the evidence they find in your bones.

研究你的生辰與生活方式

Paleontologists will be some of your biggest fans

古生物學家會是你超級粉絲的一部分

along with all those admiring crowds at the museum.

還有博物館裡欣賞你的眾人

You made it!

你成功了！

You spent years underground in obscurity,

你在地下默默無聞了那麼多年

shedding blood,

流血

sweat,

流汗

tears,

and your internal organs.

流淚

失去五臟六腑

You worked yourself to the bone

拼命到只剩形骸

until your bones disintegrated

直到你的骨骼解體

and were replaced by minerals and sediments.

被礦物和沉積物取代

But it was all worth it

但這一切都值得

because you're a famous fossil!

因為你成為著名的化石了

Now, you better hold that pose!

現在，保持那個姿勢別動！