Raspyni Brothers: Welcome to Vaudeville 2.0

譯者: jewlery choung 審譯者: Claire Kao

Dan Holzman: Please throw out the beanbag chairs. Here we go.

請把懶骨頭丟給我，我們開始吧。

Barry Friedman: There are all kinds of high-tech chairs here today,

現今有很多種高科技的椅子，

but this is really, I think, when it reached its peak

但是這個真的，我覺得，真的達到高科技的巔峰

as far as ergonomics, comfort, design, flexibility ...

它符合人體工學、舒適、具有設計感並且很有彈性呢！

DH: Now obviously, this is not something we do on our regular show;

現在，很明顯地，這不是我們平常在做的秀。

it's something we just kind of learned for this,

這算是我們特地為了這個表演學的吧。

so we're going to try. But can we have some inspirational music for the beanbag chairs?

所以我們要開始試了。但是我們可以為了懶骨頭來些振奮人心的音樂嗎？

BF: Nice show, Daniel, nice show. You are the man!

好啊，Daniel，做的好。你做的真的很不錯。

Nice show. Man, that was good!

做得好！ 就是這樣！

DH: Thank you.

謝啦。

BF: You know, sometimes when people do those, they go all the way down.

有時候人們做這些事啊，他們都會盡量讓身體貼到地板，

You actually just did that. (Laughter)

但是你其實只是稍微做一下而已！

That's the kind of extra effort that's gotten us where we are today ...

就是付出這樣的努力才讓我們達到今日的地位。

DH: All right, let's show them something special.

好了，我們來做些特別的好了！

BF: ... without a MacArthur grant.

只差沒有獲得MacArthur獎。

Yeah, look at this. You know, all kinds of different ...

沒錯，看這。你知道各式各樣的(道具)

TED is about invention, let's be honest. Right? DH: Yeah, it is.

老實說TED就是說一些有關發明的事。 DH：是的。

BF: Last night, Michael Moschen showed some juggling props

Michael Moschen前一晚秀出了一些雜耍道具

he has invented and working on.

他之前發明的而且現在還想研發一些更好的出來。

Right now, Dan's going to show something he actually invented.

現在，Daniel將要表演他所發明的，

DH: A type of juggling I actually invented,

一種我發明的雜耍特技，

right after I saw another juggler do it.

不久後，我看到其他表演者做這項表演。

BF: Shut up. (Laughter)

夠了。

DH: And this is a small excerpt from a longer piece.

這只是一段完整表演中的一小段啦。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

Folks, this is shaker cup juggling. It's not a showstopper

各位，這是一個雪克杯雜耍，不是表演終結者，

but it certainly slows it down.

但它確實會冷場。

BF: Oh yeah, it does. (Drum roll)

噢！沒錯！

BF: Oh, Daniel.

噢，Daniel！

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

DH: One more? (Drum roll)

再一個。

Perfect. (Drum roll)

很好！

Perfect. (Drum roll)

漂亮！

BF: OK. DH: Oh! All right.

做得好！

(Applause)

(鼓掌)

I'm now pushing my luck: I'm skipping right to six cups.

我要來試試我的運氣。 接下來我要直接一次耍六個杯子！

In order to do six cups, I must have perfect control

現在一次有六個杯子，我得控制得很好才行。

over three with my right hand. (Drum roll)

三個在我的右手。

BF: Also three with his left.

另外三個在左手。

DH: Perfect.

沒錯。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And now, all six cups. Should I do it on the first try

那現在，六個杯子。我應該要第一次做就全部成功，

or should I miss once on purpose? (Laughter)

還是我應該要故意失誤一次？

BF: First try? Once on purpose?

要一次就成功還是故意失誤一次？

(Audience: Once on purpose!)

觀眾: 故意失誤一次！

DH: How about if I try first and then decide?

還是我先試一次看看再決定？

BF: Good idea. (Laughter) Let's leave that. We'll leave that door open.

好主意！我們先暫時保留這個決定。

(Laughter) (Applause)

(笑聲)

DH: He's looking at me.

他在看我耶。

BF: That's all right, he does that. All right.

沒關係啦，他都這樣。沒事的，噢。

DH: Oh! It's time for Richard's help. (Laughter)

是時候要Richard的幫忙了。

Oh, good. All right.

喔，好阿，也是。

BF: You know, over the years, every year at the conference,

你知道嗎，這麼多年下來，每一年在記者會上，

it's kind of become a tradition for us to do something dangerous

跟Richard做一些危險的事情好像變成我們的傳統，

with Richard. And we've always done something with the bullwhips

而且在我們表演裡都做一些和鞭子有關的事。

in our act. It's funny, for years I did it with Daniel holding balloons.

有趣的是，這些年來Daniel都拿著氣球配合著我。

And then we thought, "How stupid."

然後我們就想說：「多麼愚蠢啊。」

DH: Excuse me, could we work on the design of the microphone?

不好意思，可以改善一下麥克風的設計嗎？

BF: I think that's the next session.

我想那是下一場的主題。

DH: Next session?

下一場？

BF: Yeah. And so we've actually found a way to incorporate Richard in this.

是的，而且其實我們在這件事上，已經找到一個可以跟Richard合作的方法了。

He actually assumes more of the danger in this.

這件事情對他來說其實更危險。

DH: Please stand up, Richard. (Whip cracks)

請站起來，Richard。

Oh, sorry. (Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: Now Richard, please ... (Whip cracks)

現在，Richard，麻煩請你...

BF: OK, sorry.

好，抱歉。

DH: Jesus Christ. Richard, please stand in front of me.

天阿Ricahrd！ 麻煩請你站到我身前。

Richard Wurman: Can I say something?

我可以說一些話嗎？

BF: Sure.

當然可以。

RW: In all past years I've rehearsed with them,

在過去這麼多年來，我一直都跟他們一起排練一些表演

the things that have happened to me --

那些我所經歷過的，

I have no idea what's going to happen and that's the truth.

但是這一次，說真的，我真的不知道接下來會發生什麼事。

DH: All right, please stand here in front ...

是，拜託請站到這個前面...

God, I hate that. Put your hands out like this, please.

天啊，我恨這樣！麻煩把你的手像這樣打開。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

BF: No, come stay up with him.

往前，靠近他一點。

Dan used to actually hold them but now he's got you for protection.

通常是Dan拿著氣球，但現在有他被抓來站在前面保護你。

It's kind of neat. OK.

這樣感覺很棒。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: Wow, you've been working out.

哇，你一直都有在健身耶。

BF: No, shut up!

才沒有，閉嘴啦。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Having a little bit of Richard time. That's nice, that's good.

有一些可以跟Richard相處的時間耶，還不錯啦，這樣很好。

OK, here we go.

好，我們開始吧！

Have him hold your wrist so I can ...

讓他抓著你的手腕，這樣我就可以...

DH: Please hold my wrist, will you. BF: Yeah, hold this a minute.

請抓著我的手，抓一下。

There you go.

開始嘍！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

OK.

好的。

OK, hold on.

好，等一下哦。

RW: Hmmm.

嗯......

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: First one.

第一個

BF: All those mid-year phone calls are coming back to me now, Richard.

我現在想到你在年中打給我的奪命連環call了，Richard。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: So Richard, what were we on the list? Like 1,020?

所以，Richard，我們是在名單的哪裡啊？是1020號嗎？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

What happened there?

發生什麼事了嗎?

BF: I think we were just outside.

我想我們其實差一點就在名單裡面了。

DH: I don't get it. (Applause)

(鼓掌)

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: Sorry. BF: Having some bad flashbacks.

我有一種不好的預感...

RW: Do you want me to hold you or not? DH: Don't hold me that hard.

不要把我抓這麼緊啦！

BF: Here we go, I'm taking it. (Balloon pops) (Applause)

來吧，我會打中。

DH: One more, one more.

再一個、再一個。

BF: We've got one more we're going to do.

我們還有一個要做的。

RW: Do I get to hold them?

我可以拿住他們嗎？

BF: You don't want to hold these, trust me.

可以阿，但你不會想抓住它們的，相信我。

DH: Could you spread your legs a little bit?

你可以把你的腳張開一點嗎？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

BF: Gloria, you want to do it? It's very cool.

Gloria你想做嗎？這很酷耶。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

(Applause)

(掌聲)

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

One more try. Man, I don't want to get too close.

再試一次吧，我不想打到太接近他那邊。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Could you just push that?

你可以縮一下小腹嗎？

(Applause)

(掌聲)

DH: Wow! Boy!

哇！

BF: That's cool. I always wanted to try that.

太酷了！ 其實我一直想試著那樣做。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: Let's jump this way, though.

從這個方向跳好了。

Now, we risked Richard's life, it's only fair we risk our own lives.

剛剛我們拿Richard的生命開玩笑，現在很公平的，我們自己也來冒險看看！

So to do that, I will juggle these three razor-sharp sickles.

所以，我要用三把鋒利鐮刀做一個特技。

And if that wasn't enough, and judging by your response, it's not ...

如果這樣還不夠，我會依大家的反應做判斷。這不是...

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: Wow! BF: Hoping for a little more build.

哇！希望你這樣有讓觀眾覺得更緊張刺激一點。

DH: True. Barry ...

真的！

BF: I'm going to run up behind him.

我會先在他後面助跑，

DH: Leap over my shoulder.

他會跳過我的肩膀。

BF: Up and over his shoulders.

對，跳過他的肩膀。

DH: Grab the blades in mid-air, land right there in a pool of blood ...

然後抓住半空中的鐮刀！ 然後地上會有一攤血！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Still juggling. (Laughter)

然後繼續表演。

Impossible, you say?

你是不是覺得不可能啊？

BF: Incredible, you say?

你也覺得不可思議對吧？

DH: Why bother, you say?

你是不是覺得這麼危險的事情為什麼要去做啊？

BF: Here we go.

我們開始吧！

DH: Just do it juggler boys, you say?

你們就做吧，雜耍小子！

BF: This guy, this guy invented air.

這個人，這個人發明空氣。

DH: I think so, that's right.

我也這麼覺得耶。

Even the pencil.

連鉛筆也是。

BF: He invented the pencil.

他發明鉛筆。

DH: All right, we'll do this trick, but please remember

好，我們現在要開始了，但是請記住

it took us over 10 years to perfect.

我們花了十年的時間才把它練成。

BF: Ten years to perfect, which you're about to see.

沒錯，你們等一下看到的那個特技我們花了十年才練好。

DH: It's not that difficult, we just don't like to practice that much.

其實這也沒有很難啦，只是我們不喜歡太常練習而已啦。

BF: No, it's a hassle. Traveling too much.

麻煩的是，太常巡迴。

Actually, we will take a second to prove --

我們要不要給觀眾驗證，這鐮刀可能是假的啊？

this could be fake -- that the blades are indeed razor-sharp.

開玩笑的啦，它真的是一把鋒利的刀！

DH: Will someone please throw a small farm animal

有人要丟隻小豬或小羊上來試試看的嗎？

up onto the stage?

丟到台上來！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Or a virgin for a sacrifice?

還是要犧牲一個處女？

BF: Anything?

任何東西都可以喔。

DH: Where's Gloria? (Laughter)

Gloria人呢？

BF: No, she's got ... farm animal.

她去抓小動物了啦！

DH: Do you have a small farm animal?

你有隻農場小動物喔？

Just trying to play the odds. All right, here we go.

就賭賭看啦。好啦，我們開始吧。

BF: Over the top, over the top.

從上面跳過去！跳過去哦！

DH: How you feeling, Barry? You feeling all right?

你現在感覺如何啊Barry？你還好吧？

BF: Yeah, it's all right.

是的。

DH: Do you feel everything's OK? The atmosphere, the ...

一切都就緒了嗎？ 氣氛？或是？

BF: Yeah, a little sketchy.

恩，還可以。

DH: Everything up here's OK?

上面工作人員都準備好了嗎？

BF: Yeah.

嗯。

DH: Then here we go.

那我們開始嘍！

BF: This one's a little ... Who's doing the lights? Could you

這裡好像有一點點... 燈光師是哪位呀？ 可以請你...

point that a little more directly

這個燈泡正對著我...你打光可以再直接

into my eyeballs? Is that possible? (Laughter) I can still see a little.

打進我眼睛一點沒關係，我真的快瞎了。

DH: And turn up the intensity; we're still pink in the middle.

光熱度需要再強一點，我們還沒被煮熟。

We went too far. (Laughter)

我們開玩笑開得太過分了啦。

BF: Yeah, it's too far. It's too much of a visual.

真的，太誇張了。這樣講起來太寫實了啦。

The design of the body is a whole different thing.

身體上的設計，那可是完全不同的東西。

DH: Ready, Barry? BF: Over the top.

DH: Barry準備好了嗎？ BF: 從上面來喔。

DH: May we have our jumping music please? (Silence)

麻煩放一下我們那個jumping的音樂，謝啦！

May we have it a bit louder?

可以再大聲一點嗎？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

BF: They're a good crew! Whoa!

我們的工作人員實在太優秀了！

DH: Whoa, sorry. All right.

噢！噢！噢！沒關係。沒關係。

BF: We're going on.

繼續。

DH: All right, we'll try again.

沒關係，再試一次。

BF: All right? Oh my gosh. Oh.

可以了嗎？ 噢我的天啊。

DH: All right, here we go. Sorry about that.

很抱歉剛剛失誤了。

BF: I thought I had the hard part. OK.

我以為我的部分比較困難。來吧！

DH: Whenever you're ready.

你準備好了就來吧！

BF: There we go!

我們做到了！

(Applause)

(掌聲)

All right, get up! Come on and dance! DH: Dance, come on. BF: Come on and dance!

來吧來吧！ 大家一起跳舞慶祝一下！

Somebody dance! Come on!

快快快！誰來跳一下？

(Applause)

(掌聲)

Wow, wow, OK, stop.

好了好了，夠了。

Weird, no one dances. We're two guys doing this. (Laughter)

大家都沒跟著跳，只有我們兩個跳好奇怪喔。

I think that's uncomfortable for everyone.

我想大家應該覺得很尷尬吧。

DH: The French judge ...

法籍裁判

BF: One more quick thing.

有個更快的方式。

DH: The French judge gives it a 5.2.

法國裁判給5.2分。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

BF: Well, you know ...

恩，你知道的

DH: There you go ... BF: Oh, yeah. Another one coming in.

DH：那你繼續-- BF：好的，下一個。

DH: Tell them about our bio and stuff.

跟觀眾說一些我們的經歷好了！

BF: Yeah. In our bio, some of you may have read

好啊！ 你們有些人或許早就看過我們的經歷了，

that we've won two world juggling championships.

我們得過兩次世界雜耍冠軍。

And believe it or not, you don't win juggling champions

信不信由你啦！沒有人靠耍長鞭或接雪克杯

for doing things with bullwhips or shaker cups.

贏得雜耍冠軍。

We're going to show you right now

我們現在就表演一小段

an excerpt from a routine that we used

我們贏過其他隊伍的特技片段給大家看看！

to wipe out the other juggling team competition.

.

DH: That's right.

沒錯！

BF: Good.

很好！

DH: I know what you're thinking: other juggling teams must really suck.

我知道你們在想什麼：你們一定覺得其他雜耍隊伍很爛。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

BF: Juggling's got a bad rap.

雜耍的評價很低。

DH: But wait, Barry, there's still one more club lying there by my foot.

等一下，Barry，現在還有一根棒子在我腳邊耶！

And look, it has a twin!

你看，它還有一個雙胞胎弟弟欸！

BF: Shut up. (Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: There's still one more by my foot.

但還有一根棒子在我腳邊。

What do you want me to do with it?

你要我怎麼做啊？

BF: Richard you tell him, it's your last year. (Laughter)

Richard你告訴他啦，這是你最後一年了！

DH: That's a pretty good setup, Richard.

這是個相當好的安排，Richard。

BF: Yeah, it's a good setup. That's a big setup.

是啊，是個很好的安排！是個成功的安排。

DH: You can't get any better than that. All right. What I will do: I will use my panther-like reflexes.

好的，我現在要用-- 像豹一樣靈敏的反應把它撿起來！

BF: Nice.

很好！

DH: I got that --

我撿到了！

to reach down and grab that club in my grip of steel.

蹲下去然後緊緊抓住棒子。

BF: Nice.

很好。

DH: I touched it, Barry. That should be enough.

欸Barry我碰到它了！ 這樣應該夠了吧！

BF: It's progress, that's the thing.

重點是你進步了！

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

DH: How about that? I'll do it again.

如何？你也試一次看看。

Oh wait, it's on your side, Barry.

噢！在你那邊了耶，Barry！

And it's awfully windy over there.

你那邊風很大欸。

BF: It is, it's weird. You wouldn't think

真的！太奇怪了！你沒想到

it would affect half the stage, but it is. It's weird.

它居然只影響半個舞臺吧。是真的！很奇怪耶！

Watch this: what I'm going to do is slide the seventh one onto my foot.

看這個，我要將第七個棒子滑到我腳上。

DH: Wow! What a great trick, Barry!

哇！這個技巧也太棒了吧Barry！

Oh, look how it lies there.

哇，看它怎麼躺在那邊的。

Oh, Barry, is there nothing you can't do?

噢Barry，有你做不到的事嗎？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

You are my hero. You're my Jim Shea, Jr.

你是我的英雄，我的Jim Shea Jr.

Too much Olympics.

你奧運比賽看太多了。

BF: From my foot, I'll attempt to kick the seventh club. Here we go.

我要把第七根棒子用腳踢起來！

DH: Where, Barry? Where? Tell us, Barry.

在哪裡，Barry？在哪裡？快點告訴我們！

[Unclear] eagerly awaits your next syllable. What will it be?

好想知道你要說什麼呢！會是什麼呢？

What gem of knowledge?

有什麼名言錦句？

What pearl of wisdom?

有什麼金玉良言？

Do you want to buy a vowel, Barry?

Barry你要買一個母音嗎？

Is that your final answer?

這是你最後的答案嗎？

BF: All right! You have to turn off the TV from time to time.

好，你偶爾需要把電視關掉！

DH: I do, I do.

沒錯，沒錯。

BF: From my foot, the kick up in the seven.

從我的腳邊踢上第七個。

DH: We will juggle seven.

然後一次雜耍七根棒子！

BF: From six to seven. DH: That's a world's record. BF: Really? DH: For us.

BF:從第六個到第七個 DH:對我們而言是個世界紀錄。

BF: Yes.

沒錯！

DH: Whenever you're ready there, big guy.

你準備好就開始吧！

Put your tongue away, Barry.

把你的舌頭收進去，Barry。

BF: Oh, oh, whoa.

噢噢噢！

(Applause)

(掌聲)

DH: Please, please stay seated. Stay seated. Thank you.

大家請坐好，請坐好！謝謝！

Because now, to make this twice as difficult,

因為我們現在要表演難度比這個更高的！

we'll juggle the seven clubs back ...

我們會背對背耍七根棒子

BF: Seven-club juggling.

七根棒子的雜耍

DH: ... to back.

背對背哦。

BF: Thank you, that's it.

謝謝！就像這樣！

BF: Thank you guys!

謝謝大家！

DH: Thank you very much!

謝謝！