Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED

442,353 views ・ 2021-09-28

TED


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翻译人员: gigide Hulu 校对人员: Yanyan Hong
00:12
I know you all have long to-do lists,
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我知道大家都有 长长的待办事项列表,
00:14
but I hate wasting time so much that I have a to-don't list.
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但是我讨厌浪费时间做这些 所以我有个“不办”事项列表。
00:19
Don't scroll on social media,
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不要流连社交网站,
00:21
don't check my phone in bed
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不要在床上看手机,
00:23
and don't turn on the TV
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不要打开电视,
00:24
unless I already know what I want to watch.
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除非我知道要看什么节目。
00:27
But last year I found myself breaking all of those rules.
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但是去年,我发现 自己打破了全部的规则。
00:31
I was staying up way past midnight,
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半夜了我还醒着,
00:33
doomscrolling,
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滚动浏览负面新闻,
00:34
playing endless games of online Scrabble
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不停地玩线上拼字游戏,
00:36
and bingeing entire seasons of TV shows that weren't even good.
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无节制地追整季电视剧, 然而并不怎么好看。
00:42
The next morning I'd wake up in a daze
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第二天早上我整个人迷迷糊糊地醒来,
00:44
and swear, "Tonight in bed by 10:00."
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然后发誓,“今晚10点钟要睡觉。”
00:47
But it kept happening night after night for weeks.
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但是这一幕不断上演,持续好久。
00:51
What was I thinking?
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我当时在想什么?
00:53
As an organizational psychologist,
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身为一名组织心理学家,
00:54
I have spent my whole career studying motivation,
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我的整个职业生涯都在研究激励问题。
00:57
so it really bothers me when I can't explain my own behavior.
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所以我很困扰, 我无法解释我自己的行为。
01:02
I wasn't depressed. I still had hope. Wasn't burned out, had energy.
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我不是抑郁,我还怀抱希望。 我也不倦怠,我还有能量。
01:07
Wasn't lonely, I was with my family.
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我并不觉得孤独,因为我有家庭。
01:10
I just felt a little bit aimless and a little bit joyless.
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我只是感觉 少了点目标,少了点快乐。
01:15
Eventually, I remembered there's a name for that feeling:
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最后,我终于想到 有一个词可以形容这种感觉:
01:18
languishing.
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颓靡。
01:19
Languishing as a sense of emptiness, stagnation and ennui.
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一种空虚、停滞、无趣的感觉。
01:23
It was coined by a sociologist Corey Keyes
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这个词最早由社会学家 科里·凯斯(Corey Keye)提出,
01:25
and immortalized by a philosopher, Mariah Carey.
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并由“哲学家”玛丽亚·凯莉 (Mariah Carey)发扬光大。
01:28
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
01:31
When you're languishing, it just feels like you're muddling through your days,
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当你颓靡时,你会感觉到 就像你在浑浑噩噩地度日,
01:34
looking at your life through a foggy windshield.
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看着自己的人生笼罩于层层迷雾。
01:37
So I'm curious how many of you have felt like that over the past few months.
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那么我想问问,你们当中有谁 在过去几个月里经历过这种感觉。
01:43
OK, those of you who didn't have the energy to raise your hands --
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好的,你们当中没有力气举手的——
01:46
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
01:47
you might be languishing right now.
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现在可能正处于这个状态。
01:50
And you over here who didn't laugh, you're definitely languishing.
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而那边那位听到这还没有笑的, 百分百就是了。
01:55
Strangely enough --
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很奇怪的是——
01:56
[How are you feeling today? Meh. Meh. Meh.]
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【你今天感觉如何? 呃...呃…呃…】
01:58
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
01:59
Some of you passed the quiz.
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你们中有些人通过了这个测试。
02:01
Strangely enough, what rescued me from that feeling was playing Mario Kart.
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奇怪的是,把我从这种感觉里 解救出来的是马里奥赛车游戏。
02:08
But let's back up for a second.
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我们先回头看看,
02:10
In the early days of covid,
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在新冠疫情早期,
02:11
a lot of us were struggling with fear, grief and isolation.
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我们中的很多人 都在恐惧、悲伤和孤独中挣扎。
02:15
But as the pandemic dragged on with no end in sight,
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但是当疫情拖得足够久, 看不到尽头的时候,
02:18
our acute anguish gave way to chronic languish.
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短暂而剧烈的痛苦 让位给了长期的萎靡不振。
02:22
We were all living in “Groundhog Day.”
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我们像活在“土拨鼠之日” (电影中每天重复的生活)
02:24
It felt like the whole world was stagnating.
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感觉就是整个世界停滞了。
02:27
So I wrote an article to put languishing on the map.
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所以我写了一篇文章 提出“颓靡”这个现象。
02:30
I called it "the neglected middle child of mental health"
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我称之为:“心理健康领域中, 被忽略的家中老二”,
02:34
and I suggested it might be the dominant emotion of our time.
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而我觉得这可能是 目前这个时代主导的情绪。
02:37
And soon it was everywhere.
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它无所不在,
02:39
I was seeing it all over the media,
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在媒体上,哪都能看到它
02:41
being discussed by celebrities, by royalty.
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被名流们,被皇室成员们讨论,
02:44
I've never seen people so excited
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我从来没有见过 人们那么兴趣盎然地
02:46
to talk about their utter lack of excitement.
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讲述自己如何完全丧失兴趣。
02:49
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
02:52
And --
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然而——
02:54
I think --
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我觉得——
02:55
I think that naming languishing
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我觉得正式认识“颓靡”这种情绪
02:57
helped people make sense of some puzzling experiences.
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有助于人们理解自己的困惑。
03:01
Why even after getting vaccinated
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为什么即使是打了疫苗
03:03
people were having trouble looking forward to the rest of the year.
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人们还是无法 对接下来的半年有任何期待。
03:06
Why when "National Treasure" came on TV,
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为什么当《国家宝藏》在电视上播出时,
03:09
my wife already knew all the words by heart.
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我的妻子已将每一句台词烂熟于心。
03:12
And why I was staying up way too late,
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为什么我总熬夜,
03:15
falling victim to what's known as revenge bedtime procrastination.
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成为“报复性熬夜”的受害者?
03:19
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
03:29
We were looking for bliss in a blah day and purpose in a perpetual pandemic.
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我们在无聊的一天里找幸福, 在没有尽头的疫情里找目标。
03:35
But languishing is not unique to a pandemic.
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但是“颓靡”不是疫情独有的。
03:38
It's part of the human condition.
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它是人类生活的一部分。
03:40
Two decades of research show that languishing can disrupt your focus
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近二十年的研究发现: “颓靡”可以扰乱你的专注力,
03:44
and dampen your motivation.
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并且消磨你的意志。
03:46
It's also a risk factor for depression
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颓靡还是导致抑郁症的风险因素之一,
03:48
because languishing often lurks below the surface.
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因为颓靡总是潜伏在表面之下。
03:51
You might not notice when your drive is dwindling
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你可能都没注意到你的驱动力在减弱,
03:54
or your delight is dulling
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或者你的快乐变得黯淡。
03:56
You’re indifferent to your own indifference,
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你无所谓自己的兴趣丧失,
03:59
which means you don't seek help
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也就是说,你不会去专门寻求帮助,
04:01
and you might not even do anything to help yourself.
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也不做任何事情来帮助自己。
04:05
Meh.
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呃,就这样吧。
04:08
Languishing isn't just hard to spot, though.
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颓靡不止是难以被察觉而已,
04:11
In many cultures, it's hard to talk about, too.
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在很多的文化里, 人们觉得难以启齿谈论它。
04:14
When people ask, "How are you?,"
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当别人问你:“你好吗?”
04:16
you're expected to say, "Great!"
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你应该说,“非常好!”
04:18
or "Living my best life."
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“不能更好了!”
04:21
That's called toxic positivity.
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这叫做“有毒的正能量”。
04:24
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
04:28
It's the pressure that we face to be optimistic and upbeat at all times.
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这是一种压力 让我们时时都保持乐观向上。
04:35
If you say, "You know, I'm just OK,"
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如果你说, “你知道的,我觉得还好。”
04:37
then people might encourage you to look on the bright side
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那人们就会鼓励你 要多看光明的一面,
04:41
or count your blessings,
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或者是要学会感恩,
04:43
which isn't just annoying.
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这可不仅仅是惹人烦,
04:44
It can actually be bad advice.
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还可能是坏的建议。
04:47
Can I get two volunteers?
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我这边能邀请两位志愿者吗?
04:49
I will cold-call if I have to, don't all jump at once.
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没有的话,我就随机叫两个 不要一下子都跳上来。
04:52
OK, right over here.
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好的,这边
04:53
You can come up to a mic
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你可以走到麦克风那边,
04:55
and can I get another volunteer right over there, up to this mic, please.
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好的。 另一个志愿者到这边麦克风。
04:58
A round of applause for our two volunteers.
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请给两位志愿者掌声。
05:01
(Applause)
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(掌声)
05:04
Hi, what's your name?
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嗨,请问你叫什么名字?
05:06
Martin: Martin.
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M:马丁(Martin)。
05:07
Adam Grant: Thank you.
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AG:谢谢。
05:08
Can you tell us three good things about your life, please?
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你可以告诉我们 你生活中的三件好事情吗?
05:13
Martin: I’m married and I’m healthy and I’m happy.
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M:我结婚了,我很健康,我很快乐。
05:18
AG: All right, I’m glad the marriage came in first.
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AG:真好,很开心你把婚姻放在第一位。
05:20
Well done. OK, over here. What’s your name?
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好,这边。
05:22
Lee: Lee.
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L:李(Lee)。
05:23
AG: Lee, can you tell us 42 good things about your life?
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AG:你能告诉我们 你生活中的 42 件好事情吗?
05:28
Lee: My cat Titchypoo, my dog Enzo.
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L:我的猫 Titchypoo, 我的狗 Enzo,
05:31
And so my wife, Jazz.
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还有我的妻子Jazz。
05:32
AG: Third behind the dog and the cat.
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AG: 排在猫和狗之后第三位。
05:34
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
05:35
Well played.
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干得漂亮。
05:37
Lee: My children, Indio and Walter,
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Lee:我的孩子们,Indio 和 Walter
05:39
Manchester United Football Club,
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曼联足球俱乐部,
05:40
my friends, TED.
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我的朋友们,TED。
05:43
AG: TED coming in at ringing eighth.
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AG:TED 荣登第八位!
05:45
Lee: TED is very high, TED is very high.
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L:TED 排名很高!
05:47
The poetry of C.S. Lewis, E.E. Cummings, Dylan Thomas.
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还有诗,C.S.路易斯(C.S. Lewis),
E.E.卡明斯(E.E. Cummings), 狄兰·托马斯(Dylan Thomas)的诗。
05:52
AG: You want to name all the poets you’ve ever heard of?
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AG:你是打算 念完所有你听说过的诗人名字吗?
05:55
Alright, Lee, thank you.
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好的,李,谢谢你。
05:57
We’re going to pause you there.
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我们得让你在这暂停。
05:58
Round of applause. Thank you both.
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掌声献给两位志愿者。
06:00
(Applause)
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(掌声)
06:04
So for a long time, I assumed that people in Lee's position
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很长一段时间里 我都认为李这样的人,
06:08
were going to be happier than Martin.
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会比马丁更快乐,
06:11
But when I ran the experiment, I found the exact opposite.
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但是当我做了实验发现恰恰相反。
06:14
That people who are randomly assigned to count more blessings,
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那些被随机安排 列出更多好事情的人。
06:17
are actually, on average, less happy
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实际上,平均而言,不那么快乐,
06:20
because you start to run out of things to be optimistic about.
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因为你数着数着发现 值得乐观的事情快没了,
06:23
And if you don't know that many poets ...
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如果你不知道 更多的诗人名字的话......
06:25
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
06:27
The harder it is to find good things about your life,
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当你发现越难列出生活中的好事情,
06:30
the more you feel like, well, maybe my life isn't that good.
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你也会觉得也许 我的生活就是没那么好。
06:35
In the early days of the pandemic,
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在疫情早期,
06:36
researchers found that the best predictor of well-being was not optimism.
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研究者们发现 身心健康最大的影响因素不是乐观主义。
06:41
It was flow.
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而是心流(flow)。
06:43
Flow is that feeling of being in the zone,
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心流最早由心理学家
米哈里·齐克森米哈里 (Mihály Csíkszentmihályi)提出,
06:46
coined by the psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.
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是一种全身心投入某种活动的状态,
06:50
It's that state of total absorption in an activity.
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一种置身于某个区域里的感觉。
06:52
For you, it might be cooking or running or gardening
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对你们来说, 可能是下厨、跑步或者园艺,
06:57
where you lose track of time
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忘记了时间流逝,
06:58
and you might even lose your sense of self.
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甚至忘记了自己的存在。
07:02
Flow is the appeal of a Netflix binge
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心流也是网飞(Netflix) 狂欢式刷剧的魅力所在,
07:04
because you get transported into a different world
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因为它让你进入一个不同的世界,
07:07
and immersed in a story.
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沉浸在故事中。
07:09
But bingeing is a temporary escape from languishing, not a cure.
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但是狂欢式刷剧只能让你 短暂地逃离颓靡并不能治愈它。
07:14
At best, it leaves you with a bunch of asymmetric relationships.
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充其量,给你留下一堆不对称的关系。
07:17
You might love hanging out with your friends:
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你可能喜欢和你的朋友们玩,
07:20
Chandler,
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Chandler,
07:22
Arya,
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Arya,
07:23
Dwight,
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Dwight,
07:25
Buffy -- Buffy, anyone? --
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Buffy——Buffy, 有吗?——
07:26
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
07:27
Joe Exotic,
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Joe Exotic (《虎王》主人公),
07:29
Peppa Pig.
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小猪佩奇。
07:31
(Whispers) But they don't know you exist.
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(小声)但他们并不知道你的存在。
07:35
Bingeing is passive engagement in a fictional world,
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狂欢式刷剧是一种 在虚拟世界里被动的投入,
07:39
peak flow depends on active participation
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更高层次的心流来自于
07:42
in the real world,
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主动地参与真实世界。
07:44
which is why I was so surprised to find my flow
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当我在任天堂游戏里 驾驶一辆卡通汽车时,
07:47
while driving a cartoon car in a Nintendo game.
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我很惊讶地发现了我的心流。
07:53
When the pandemic first started,
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疫情刚开始时,
07:54
all three of our kids were at home in online school,
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我的三个孩子在家网课,
07:57
and that lasted for a full year.
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然后持续了一整年,
07:59
It was not easy.
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这太难了。
08:01
One day we found this on our six-year-old's report card.
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有一天,我发现 我六岁孩子的报告单上写着。
08:04
[can independently mute and unmute himself when requested to do so]
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【能按规定独立地打打开话筒与静音]】
08:09
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
08:12
You know, I know some adults who still haven't figured that out yet,
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要知道,我知道有些成年人 还没搞明白这个。
08:15
not just online, but in real life, too.
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不只是在线上,生活中也是。
08:18
So I guess we had that to celebrate.
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所以我想我们应该庆祝一下。
08:21
But like many of you, we were isolated from extended family.
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但是跟大家一样,我们与家人分离,
08:25
My sister was halfway across the country.
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我的姐姐在这个国家的另一边。
08:28
And one day we were reminiscing about how much we love playing Mario Kart
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有一天,我们回忆起,
08:32
as we were kids.
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我们小时候有多喜欢玩马里奥赛车。
08:33
And she said, "Well, we could all play together online now."
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然后她说: “哇,我们现在可以一起在线玩了。”
08:36
Why don't we start a family game?
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我们为什么不开始一个家庭游戏?
08:38
And soon we were playing every day
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很快我们每天都玩这个,
08:40
with a video call running at the same time.
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同时用视频通话。
08:43
And after a couple of weeks I stopped feeling so blah.
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几周以后,我发现我没那么颓靡了,
08:47
I was living zen in the art of Mario Kart.
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我生活在马里奥赛车艺术禅意里。
08:50
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
08:51
In the morning our kids were waking up, asking what time we would play.
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每天早上我的孩子们起床, 问我什么时候可以开始玩,
08:55
They were excited.
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他们很兴奋。
08:57
And they loved it when I would gloat about an impending victory,
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他们热爱这个游戏, 特别是当我期待着即将到来的胜利,
09:00
only to be bombed by a flying blue shell
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却被飞来的蓝色炮弹轰炸,
09:03
and then just sit there watching all three of our kids
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然后只能看着我的三个孩子,
09:06
drive past me to the finish line in tiny go-carts.
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开着小小赛车超过我冲向终点线。
09:10
We had so much fun that we started a new Saturday night tradition
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我们太开心了, 于是我开始了一个周六晚上新传统,
09:13
after the kids were asleep.
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在孩子们睡觉之后,
09:15
Adult Mario Kart.
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来玩成人马里奥赛车。
09:16
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
09:19
So after reflecting on that experience,
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通过反思这个经历,
09:22
I'm proud to present to you for the first time
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我很自豪地在这里向各位首次介绍,
09:25
my Mario Kart theory of peak flow.
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我的有关顶级心流的马里奥赛车理论。
09:29
It has three conditions: mastery, mindfulness and mattering.
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它有三个条件: 掌控力、正念和重要性。
09:34
Let's start with mastery.
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我们从掌控力开始。
09:35
Mastery is something
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掌控力是一种
09:37
a lot of us have been having a hard time finding lately.
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我们中的很多人 要通过艰难地寻找得到的东西。
09:39
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
09:40
Psychologists find that at work
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心理学家发现,
09:43
the strongest factor in daily motivation and joy
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给我们带来日常动力和快乐的最重要因素,
09:46
is a sense of progress.
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是一种进步感。
09:48
We find that our happiness depends in Western cultures
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在西方文化中,我们的快乐更多来自于 我们的项目今天进行的怎么样,
09:52
more on how our projects are going today than how they went yesterday.
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而不是昨天做了些什么。
09:56
That's why Nike says, "Just do it."
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这就是为什么耐克宣传,“只管去做”。
09:59
I guess if Nike had been started in a more past-focused country like China,
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如果耐克创立于一个 更注重过去的国家,比如中国。
10:04
their slogan would be, "Just did it."
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他们的口号会变成,“刚做完了。”
10:09
If languishing is stagnation, flow involves momentum.
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如果颓靡是停滞, 那么心流中包含着动量。
10:13
But mastery does not have to be a big accomplishment,
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掌控力并不一定需要来自于大的成就,
10:17
it can be small wins.
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它可以是小的进步。
10:19
Small wins explain why I was drawn to online Scrabble
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小小的胜利带来的掌控感
可以解释为什么我会被 在线拼字游戏所吸引。
10:22
for the rush of playing a seven-letter word.
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拼出一个 7 个字母的单词
10:25
Small wins makes sense of why so many people were thrilled
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也能帮助我们理解为什么这么多人,
10:28
to bake their first loaf of sourdough bread.
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在烤出他们的第一条 酸面包之后如此兴奋。
10:30
And small wins explain why one engineer spent an entire afternoon
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为什么这个工程师会花一整个下午,
10:35
mastering the art of stacking M&M's on top of each other.
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掌握搭 M&M’s 豆的技能。
10:40
Take a look.
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大家看下。
10:42
(Video) This is going to be harder than I thought.
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(视频)这比我想象的可难多了。
10:51
Oh!
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哇!
10:53
Oh!
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哇!
10:54
Five M&Ms! Five M&Ms!
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5 个 M&M’s 豆!5 个 M&M’s 豆!
10:58
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
11:00
AG: Turns out that was a world record.
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AG:结果这成了世界纪录。
11:02
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
11:04
That kind of mastery depends on a second condition for flow,
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这种掌控感也取决于心流的第二个条件,
11:07
mindfulness.
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正念。
11:09
Focusing your full attention on a single task,
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在一件事情上全神贯注,
11:12
not something a lot of us are doing that much these days.
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不是我们经常做的这些。
11:16
[Are you OK? You’re barely paying attention to your book, phone, show ... ]
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【你还好吗?其实你几乎 没在看你的书、电话、节目......】
11:19
[ ... laptop and the crossword you started ten minutes ago.]
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【......电脑,十分钟开始前的填字游戏。】
11:22
There's evidence that on average, people are checking emails 74 times a day,
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有统计表明, 人们平均一天查 74 次邮件,
11:27
switching tasks every 10 minutes,
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每 10 分钟切换一次自己做的事情,
11:32
and that creates what's been called time confetti,
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这样的方式导致了所谓“时间的碎片”,
11:35
where we take what could be meaningful moments of our lives
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那些本该让我们的生命 更有意义的时刻,
11:37
and we shred them
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被我们撕碎,
11:39
into increasingly tiny, useless pieces.
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变成一些越来越小、用的碎屑。
11:42
Time confetti is an enemy of both energy and of excellence.
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时间的碎片是活力和优秀的敌人,
11:46
If we want to find flow, we need better boundaries.
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如果我们想要找到我们的心流 我们需要建立边界,
11:50
[It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds.]
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【伊丽莎白圈可以以防 我每两秒钟看一下手机】
11:54
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
11:57
When I think about boundaries,
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当我思考边界的问题时,
11:58
I think of an experiment by organizational scholar Leslie Perlow.
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我想到组织学者莱斯利·珀洛 (Leslie Perlow)的一个实验。
12:02
She went to a Fortune 500 company and she tested a quiet time policy.
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她去一家财富500强的公司 测试了一个“安静时间政策”,
12:07
No interruptions three mornings a week before noon.
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每周三次在中午之前不被打断,
12:11
On average, engineers spiked in productivity.
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实验发现, 工程师们的平均工作效率大增,
12:14
47 percent of them were more productive than usual.
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47% 的工程师比平时更有效率。
12:17
But the best part is that when the company made quiet time official policy,
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更妙的是, 当公司把这个安静时间政策正式化,
12:21
they had 65 percent above average productivity.
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65% 的工程师的效率高过了平均水平。
12:25
I don't think there's anything magical
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我认为在周二周四周五中午之前
12:27
about Tuesday, Thursday, Friday before noon.
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也没有发生什么奇迹。
12:30
The lesson here is that we need to treat uninterrupted blocks of time
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我们应该学到 我们把不被打断的时间段
12:33
as treasures to guard.
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当成宝贵的财产来守护。
12:36
Now, mastery and mindfulness will get you to flow,
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现在,我们知道了心流的两个条件 掌控力和正念。
12:40
but there's a third condition that turns it into a peak experience.
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还有第三个条件, 使心流成为一种顶级的体验。
12:43
Mattering. Knowing that you make a difference to other people.
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重要性,知道你对别人产生的影响。
12:48
Early in my career, I was studying fundraising callers
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在我的职业生涯早期, 我研究过电话筹款员,
12:50
who were trying to bring in alumni donations to a university,
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他们的工作是 给校友们打电话请他们给大学捐款。
12:54
and I knew they were languishing when I saw this sign posted on their wall.
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当我在他们的墙上看到这个贴纸, 我知道他们应该处在颓靡的状态。
12:58
[Doing a good job here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit]
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【在这里工作像尿在了深色西裤上】
13:02
[You get a warm feeling but no one else notices]
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【就你自己感觉暖呼呼, 但是并没有人注意到】
13:04
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
13:06
I wanted to study how to show them that their work mattered.
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我想研究怎样可以让他们知道 他们的工作很重要,
13:09
So I designed a series of experiments
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所以在接下来的一个月里,
13:12
and over the next month, one group of callers on average
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我做了一系列实验,
13:15
more than doubled in weekly time on the phone
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平均每组呼叫者 每周在电话上增加了一倍多的时间,
13:17
and nearly tripled in weekly revenue.
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每周收到的捐款几乎翻了三倍。
13:20
What moved the needle was randomly assigning them to meet one student
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导致这些改变的只是随机地 让这些员工去会见学生,
13:24
whose scholarship had been funded by their work.
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这些学生获得的奖学金 多亏他们的工作筹款,
13:28
Now, instead of focusing on the monotonous process of making calls,
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现在他们不仅仅专注于单调地打电话,
13:31
they were absorbed in a meaningful purpose of helping to fund tuition.
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他们全身心投入一个更有意义的目标, 帮助学生们筹集奖学金。
13:36
So think about the people who would be worse off if your job didn't exist.
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想想如果没有你的贡献 那些人的情况会变得多糟。
13:40
Those are the people who make your work matter.
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正因为这些人, 你的工作才有了价值。
13:43
You need to know their names, their faces and their stories,
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你需要知道他们的名字、样子和故事。
13:47
and you can find flow in projects that benefit them.
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你能在那些让帮到他们的工作上 找到你的心流。
13:51
This all explains why Mario Kart was such a great experience for me.
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这也能解释为什么马里奥赛车 能给我这么棒的体验,
13:54
It gave me a feeling of mastery,
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它给我掌控感,
13:56
the sweet satisfaction of a perfectly placed banana peel
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那种甜蜜的满足, 好似当我放块香蕉皮
14:00
for my sister to slip on.
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成功地让我姐姐滑倒。
14:03
It required mindfulness too.
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它也需要全神贯注,
14:05
My brother-in-law was the best player.
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我的姐夫是最佳车手,
14:07
Beating him demanded total concentration,
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要打败他需要百分百集中精力,
14:09
especially when my kids were ganging up with him against me.
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特别是当我的孩子们 联合起来跟他一起对付我。
14:13
And it wasn't just a game. It mattered.
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这不仅仅是个游戏,它很重要。
14:17
Over the past year, we've all felt helpless in one way or another.
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在过去的一年里, 我们都曾或多或少觉得无助,
14:21
I felt helpless to fix covid.
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我对消灭新冠感到无助,
14:23
I couldn't even do that much to make online school better.
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我也没法做什么 让我的网课变得更好,
14:26
And I'm a teacher.
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我是个老师。
14:28
But in Mario Kart, I felt helpful.
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但是在马里奥赛车里, 我觉得很有帮助。
14:31
I was able to give my kids something to look forward to
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当我们哪里都去不了时,
14:34
when we couldn't go anywhere.
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我能给予我的孩子们 一些可以期待的东西,
14:36
I was able to keep my family close when we were far apart.
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当家人们相距甚远时, 我能让我们保持亲密。
14:40
We normally think of flow as an individual experience.
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我们通常认为心流是一种个人的体验,
14:43
But playing Nintendo, we were all immersed together.
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但是当我们一起玩游戏时, 我们都沉浸在里面。
14:46
And although we don't play daily anymore,
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虽然后来我们并没有每天玩,
14:48
I feel closer to my sister and my brother-in-law
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但比起以往任何时候,
14:51
than I ever had before.
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我觉得跟姐姐一家更亲密了。
14:53
I learned that love is not the frequency of communication,
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我感觉到 爱不仅仅在于交流的频率,
14:56
it's the depth of connections.
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而是联系的深度。
14:59
I also realized that the antidote to languishing
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我也意识到
15:02
does not have to be something productive,
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颓靡的解药不一定 得是什么有丰厚产出的事情,
15:05
it can be something joyful.
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也可以是开心的事情。
15:07
Our peak moments of flow are having fun with the people we love,
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我们心流到达巅峰的时刻 是跟我们爱的人一起玩,
15:12
which is now a daily task on my to-do list.
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现在,这是在我 待办事项列表上的日常任务。
15:16
So what's your version of Mario Kart?
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你的马里奥赛车是什么?
15:18
Where do you find mastery and mindfulness with the people who matter to you?
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和那些对你重要的人一起, 你该在哪找到掌控感和正念?
15:23
I think we need to rethink our understanding
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我想我们应该重新思考
15:25
of mental health and well-being.
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我们对身心健康的理解,
15:27
Not depressed doesn't mean you're not struggling.
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不抑郁并不意味着你没有挣扎、
15:32
Not burned out
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没有倦怠,
15:33
doesn't mean you're fired up.
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也不意味着火力全开。
15:35
When someone says, "How are you?,"
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当别人问你,“你好吗?”
15:38
it's OK to say, "Honestly, I'm languishing."
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15:42
Or if you can only muster one syllable,
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或者如果你只能回以一个音节,
15:45
"Meh."
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“呃。”
15:47
(Laughter)
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(笑声)
15:48
And when you're ready, you can start finding the flow
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当你准备好了, 你可以开始寻找你的心流,
15:51
that lights a path out of the void.
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那会成为照亮你走出虚无的道路。
15:53
Thank you.
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谢谢大家!
15:54
(Applause)
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(掌声)
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