Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED

442,979 views ・ 2021-09-28

TED


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譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Yi-Ping Cho (Marssi)
我知道你們的待辦事項清單都很長,
但我很討厭浪費時間,
討厭到我還有一張「別做事項」清單。
別滑手機看社群媒體、
別在床上看手機、
除非已經知道想要看什麼, 否則就別開電視。
00:12
I know you all have long to-do lists,
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00:14
but I hate wasting time so much that I have a to-don't list.
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但去年,我發現 我把上述這些規則都打破了。
00:19
Don't scroll on social media,
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我熬夜到超過半夜許久,
00:21
don't check my phone in bed
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一直滑手機看悲慘新聞, 玩永無止境的線上拼字遊戲,
00:23
and don't turn on the TV
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00:24
unless I already know what I want to watch.
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追完每一季影集, 而且那些戲根本沒有多好看。
00:27
But last year I found myself breaking all of those rules.
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隔天早上起床時我精神很差,發誓:
00:31
I was staying up way past midnight,
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00:33
doomscrolling,
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「今天晚上十點上床。」
00:34
playing endless games of online Scrabble
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但我每晚重蹈覆轍,持續了數週。
00:36
and bingeing entire seasons of TV shows that weren't even good.
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我在想什麼啊?
身為組織心理學家, 我的整個職涯都在研究動機,
00:42
The next morning I'd wake up in a daze
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00:44
and swear, "Tonight in bed by 10:00."
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所以,無法解釋自己的行為讓我很煩,
00:47
But it kept happening night after night for weeks.
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我沒有憂鬱,我仍然有希望。
00:51
What was I thinking?
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00:53
As an organizational psychologist,
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沒有倦怠,還有能量。
00:54
I have spent my whole career studying motivation,
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我不孤獨,身邊還有家人。
00:57
so it really bothers me when I can't explain my own behavior.
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我只是覺得有點沒目標、
有點不快樂。
01:02
I wasn't depressed. I still had hope. Wasn't burned out, had energy.
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最後,我想起這種感覺有個名稱:
萎靡。
01:07
Wasn't lonely, I was with my family.
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萎靡是一種空虛、 停滯、倦怠的感覺。
01:10
I just felt a little bit aimless and a little bit joyless.
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社會學家科瑞凱斯創造了這個詞,
哲學家瑪麗亞凱莉讓它變得不朽。
01:15
Eventually, I remembered there's a name for that feeling:
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(笑聲)
01:18
languishing.
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01:19
Languishing as a sense of emptiness, stagnation and ennui.
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當你萎靡時,感覺就是你在混日子。
透過霧朦朦的擋風玻璃看你的人生。
01:23
It was coined by a sociologist Corey Keyes
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01:25
and immortalized by a philosopher, Mariah Carey.
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我很好奇,在座有多少人 在過去幾個月有過這種感覺?
01:28
(Laughter)
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01:31
When you're languishing, it just feels like you're muddling through your days,
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好,那些已經沒精力 把手舉起來的人——
01:34
looking at your life through a foggy windshield.
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(笑聲)
你們現在可能就在萎靡。
01:37
So I'm curious how many of you have felt like that over the past few months.
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還有這邊都沒有笑的人, 你們肯定是在萎靡。
01:43
OK, those of you who didn't have the energy to raise your hands --
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很奇怪——
〔你今天感覺如何?〕 〔咩。咩。咩。〕(笑聲)
01:46
(Laughter)
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01:47
you might be languishing right now.
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有些人通過測驗了。
很奇怪,把我從這種感覺拯救出來的
01:50
And you over here who didn't laugh, you're definitely languishing.
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竟是玩瑪利歐賽車。
01:55
Strangely enough --
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01:56
[How are you feeling today? Meh. Meh. Meh.]
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但,咱們先倒帶一下。
01:58
(Laughter)
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在新冠肺炎剛開始時,許多人苦於
01:59
Some of you passed the quiz.
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02:01
Strangely enough, what rescued me from that feeling was playing Mario Kart.
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恐懼、悲傷,和孤獨。
但隨著疫情一拖再拖,看不到盡頭,
我們的急性痛苦屈服於慢性萎靡。
02:08
But let's back up for a second.
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02:10
In the early days of covid,
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我們都生活在《今天暫時停止》。
02:11
a lot of us were struggling with fear, grief and isolation.
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感覺全世界都停滯了。
於是我寫了一篇文章, 讓大家意識到萎靡。
02:15
But as the pandemic dragged on with no end in sight,
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02:18
our acute anguish gave way to chronic languish.
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我稱之為「被忽視的心理健康 老二(排行中間的孩子)」,
02:22
We were all living in “Groundhog Day.”
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我認為在我們這個時代, 它會是主要的情緒。
02:24
It felt like the whole world was stagnating.
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沒多久,它就無所不在。 媒體上都可以看到它,
02:27
So I wrote an article to put languishing on the map.
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名人、皇室都在討論它。
02:30
I called it "the neglected middle child of mental health"
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我從來沒有見過大家會這麼興奮地
02:34
and I suggested it might be the dominant emotion of our time.
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談論他們完全缺乏興奮。
02:37
And soon it was everywhere.
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(笑聲)
02:39
I was seeing it all over the media,
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且——
02:41
being discussed by celebrities, by royalty.
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我認為——
我認為,給萎靡一個名稱,
02:44
I've never seen people so excited
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能協助大家將一些 困惑的經歷合理化。
02:46
to talk about their utter lack of excitement.
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02:49
(Laughter)
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為什麼就連打了疫苗之後,
大家仍然很難對今年 剩下的日子抱有期望?
02:52
And --
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02:54
I think --
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為什麼當電視播放《國家寶藏》時,
02:55
I think that naming languishing
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02:57
helped people make sense of some puzzling experiences.
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我太太已經能背出所有台詞?
為什麼我熬夜熬太晚,
03:01
Why even after getting vaccinated
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03:03
people were having trouble looking forward to the rest of the year.
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成為所謂報復性睡前拖延症的受害者?
03:06
Why when "National Treasure" came on TV,
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(笑聲)
〔哇!現在才 11 點!我還有時間 可以熬夜上網閒晃,然後搞砸明天〕
03:09
my wife already knew all the words by heart.
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03:12
And why I was staying up way too late,
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03:15
falling victim to what's known as revenge bedtime procrastination.
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因為我們想在乏味的 日子中找到極樂,
03:19
(Laughter)
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在無止境的疫情中找到目的。
但不只有疫情會造成萎靡。
它是人類境況的一部分。
二十年的研究顯示, 萎靡可能會打斷你的專注,
03:29
We were looking for bliss in a blah day and purpose in a perpetual pandemic.
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讓你比較沒有動力。
它也是憂鬱的危險因子之一,
03:35
But languishing is not unique to a pandemic.
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因為萎靡通常會潛伏在表面底下。
03:38
It's part of the human condition.
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你可能不會注意到越來越沒有動力,
03:40
Two decades of research show that languishing can disrupt your focus
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或是平常喜歡的事越來越無趣。
03:44
and dampen your motivation.
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你對你自己的冷漠很冷漠,
03:46
It's also a risk factor for depression
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那就表示,你不會求助,
03:48
because languishing often lurks below the surface.
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你可能甚至不會 做任何事來協助你自己。
03:51
You might not notice when your drive is dwindling
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咩。
03:54
or your delight is dulling
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03:56
You’re indifferent to your own indifference,
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不過,萎靡不僅很難發現,
03:59
which means you don't seek help
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在許多文化中,還很難去談論它。
04:01
and you might not even do anything to help yourself.
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當別人問:「你好嗎?」
他們預期你說「很好!」
04:05
Meh.
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或者「好到不能再好」。
04:08
Languishing isn't just hard to spot, though.
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那叫做有害的正向態度。
04:11
In many cultures, it's hard to talk about, too.
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(笑聲)
04:14
When people ask, "How are you?,"
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04:16
you're expected to say, "Great!"
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那是我們面臨的壓力,
04:18
or "Living my best life."
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要時時刻刻保持樂觀、歡快。
04:21
That's called toxic positivity.
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如果你說「我還好」,
04:24
(Laughter)
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別人可能會鼓勵你要看光明面,
04:28
It's the pressure that we face to be optimistic and upbeat at all times.
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或者幫你列出你有多少福氣。
這不只很惱人,
還可能是不好的建議。
有沒有兩位觀眾自願上臺?
04:35
If you say, "You know, I'm just OK,"
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04:37
then people might encourage you to look on the bright side
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沒人我就只好自己挑, 別突然全部跳出來。好,這邊這位。
04:41
or count your blessings,
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請上來到麥克風這裡, 我還需要一位,
04:43
which isn't just annoying.
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04:44
It can actually be bad advice.
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那邊那位,請上來用這個麥克風。
請為這兩位自願者鼓掌。
04:47
Can I get two volunteers?
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04:49
I will cold-call if I have to, don't all jump at once.
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(掌聲)
04:52
OK, right over here.
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嗨,你叫什麼名字? 馬丁:馬丁。
04:53
You can come up to a mic
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04:55
and can I get another volunteer right over there, up to this mic, please.
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亞當:馬丁,謝謝你。 請告訴我們你人生中的三件好事。
04:58
A round of applause for our two volunteers.
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05:01
(Applause)
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馬丁:我結婚了,我很健康,
05:04
Hi, what's your name?
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我很快樂。
05:06
Martin: Martin.
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亞當:好,很高興結婚擺在第一。
05:07
Adam Grant: Thank you.
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05:08
Can you tell us three good things about your life, please?
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好,另外這位,你叫什麼名字? 李:李。
亞當:李,請告訴我們 你人生中的四十二件好事。
05:13
Martin: I’m married and I’m healthy and I’m happy.
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我的貓提奇普、我的狗安佐。
05:18
AG: All right, I’m glad the marriage came in first.
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我的太太,潔茲。
05:20
Well done. OK, over here. What’s your name?
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亞當:排名第三, 在貓狗後面。(笑聲)
05:22
Lee: Lee.
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05:23
AG: Lee, can you tell us 42 good things about your life?
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幹得好。
我的孩子,印迪歐和華特、 曼徹斯特聯足球俱樂部、
05:28
Lee: My cat Titchypoo, my dog Enzo.
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我的朋友、TED。
05:31
And so my wife, Jazz.
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亞當:TED 在第八位登場。 李:TED 排很高,非常高。
05:32
AG: Third behind the dog and the cat.
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05:34
(Laughter)
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05:35
Well played.
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C.S. 路易斯、E.E. 卡明斯、 狄蘭湯瑪斯的詩。
05:37
Lee: My children, Indio and Walter,
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05:39
Manchester United Football Club,
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05:40
my friends, TED.
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亞當:你要把你聽過的 詩人都列出來嗎?
05:43
AG: TED coming in at ringing eighth.
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好了,李,謝謝。 得請你停下來了。拍拍手。
05:45
Lee: TED is very high, TED is very high.
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05:47
The poetry of C.S. Lewis, E.E. Cummings, Dylan Thomas.
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謝謝兩位。(掌聲)
05:52
AG: You want to name all the poets you’ve ever heard of?
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長久以來,我都假設像李這樣的人
05:55
Alright, Lee, thank you.
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會比馬丁更快樂。
05:57
We’re going to pause you there.
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05:58
Round of applause. Thank you both.
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但我做完實驗才發現事實完全相反。
06:00
(Applause)
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被隨機指派要列出比較多福氣的人
06:04
So for a long time, I assumed that people in Lee's position
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其實,平均而言,比較不快樂,
06:08
were going to be happier than Martin.
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因為你開始數完 你能樂觀看待的事物了。
且,如果你不認識那麼多詩人……
06:11
But when I ran the experiment, I found the exact opposite.
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(笑聲)
06:14
That people who are randomly assigned to count more blessings,
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當你越難找到人生中的美好,
06:17
are actually, on average, less happy
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你就越會覺得,嗯, 也許我的人生沒有那麼好。
06:20
because you start to run out of things to be optimistic about.
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06:23
And if you don't know that many poets ...
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在疫情爆發初期,
研究者發現, 最能用來預測幸福的變數
06:25
(Laughter)
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06:27
The harder it is to find good things about your life,
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不是樂觀。
是心流。
06:30
the more you feel like, well, maybe my life isn't that good.
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心流是一種神馳的感受,
這個概念來自心理學家 米哈里.契克森米哈伊。
06:35
In the early days of the pandemic,
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06:36
researchers found that the best predictor of well-being was not optimism.
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這是一種完全沉浸在 活動當中的狀態,
對各位來說可能是 烹飪、跑步,或園藝,
06:41
It was flow.
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06:43
Flow is that feeling of being in the zone,
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你會忘了時間,
06:46
coined by the psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.
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你可能還會忘我。
06:50
It's that state of total absorption in an activity.
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心流就是網飛追劇的吸引力,
06:52
For you, it might be cooking or running or gardening
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因為你會被傳送到不同的世界, 埋首於故事當中。
06:57
where you lose track of time
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但追劇只是暫時逃離萎靡,
06:58
and you might even lose your sense of self.
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不是解藥。
07:02
Flow is the appeal of a Netflix binge
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最好的狀況就是追劇讓你 有一堆不對稱的關係。
07:04
because you get transported into a different world
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你可能會很喜歡 和你的朋友混在一起:
07:07
and immersed in a story.
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錢德(六人行)、
07:09
But bingeing is a temporary escape from languishing, not a cure.
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艾莉亞(冰與火之歌)、 杜懷特(我們的辦公室),
巴菲(吸血鬼獵人), 有嗎?(笑聲)
07:14
At best, it leaves you with a bunch of asymmetric relationships.
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異國喬(養虎奇人)、
07:17
You might love hanging out with your friends:
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粉紅豬小妹(卡通)。
(低語)但他們不知道你的存在。
07:20
Chandler,
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07:22
Arya,
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07:23
Dwight,
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追劇是以被動的方式 參與虛構的世界,
07:25
Buffy -- Buffy, anyone? --
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07:26
(Laughter)
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07:27
Joe Exotic,
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最高的心流靠的是主動參與
07:29
Peppa Pig.
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真實的世界。
07:31
(Whispers) But they don't know you exist.
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這就是為什麼我很驚訝 我找到心流的契機竟然是
07:35
Bingeing is passive engagement in a fictional world,
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在任天堂遊戲中開卡通車。
07:39
peak flow depends on active participation
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疫情剛爆發時,我家 三個孩子都在家線上學習,
07:42
in the real world,
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07:44
which is why I was so surprised to find my flow
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這個狀況持續了一整年。
07:47
while driving a cartoon car in a Nintendo game.
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一點也不輕鬆。
有一天,我們在六歲孩子的 成績單上發現這個。
〔被要求時,就能自行 將自己靜音和解除靜音。〕
07:53
When the pandemic first started,
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07:54
all three of our kids were at home in online school,
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07:57
and that lasted for a full year.
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(笑聲)
07:59
It was not easy.
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我知道有些成人都還沒 搞懂那要怎麼做,
08:01
One day we found this on our six-year-old's report card.
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不只是線上,在真實人生中也是。
08:04
[can independently mute and unmute himself when requested to do so]
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我想我們還有那一點可以慶祝。
08:09
(Laughter)
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但和在座許多人一樣,
我們也和大家庭的家人分離。
08:12
You know, I know some adults who still haven't figured that out yet,
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我姐姐住在大半個國家之外,
08:15
not just online, but in real life, too.
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有一天,我們在回憶 小時候有多愛玩瑪利歐賽車。
08:18
So I guess we had that to celebrate.
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08:21
But like many of you, we were isolated from extended family.
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她說:「我們現在 可以一起在線上玩。」
為什麼不來一場家庭賽?
08:25
My sister was halfway across the country.
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沒多久,我們就天天都在玩, 同時打開視訊通話。
08:28
And one day we were reminiscing about how much we love playing Mario Kart
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幾週之後,我不再覺得那麼無聊了。
08:32
as we were kids.
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08:33
And she said, "Well, we could all play together online now."
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我過著瑪利歐賽車式的禪意生活。 (笑聲)
08:36
Why don't we start a family game?
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08:38
And soon we were playing every day
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早上,我們的孩子才起床,
08:40
with a video call running at the same time.
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就會問我們何時要玩。他們好興奮。
08:43
And after a couple of weeks I stopped feeling so blah.
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他們很愛看我本來快贏時洋洋得意,
08:47
I was living zen in the art of Mario Kart.
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卻被飛過來的藍色龜殼炸到,
08:50
(Laughter)
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08:51
In the morning our kids were waking up, asking what time we would play.
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後來只能坐在那裡, 看著我們的三個孩子
開著小卡丁車從我旁邊 呼嘯而過衝向終點線。
08:55
They were excited.
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08:57
And they loved it when I would gloat about an impending victory,
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我們玩得太開心,因此在星期六 晚上孩子睡覺後展開了新傳統:
09:00
only to be bombed by a flying blue shell
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09:03
and then just sit there watching all three of our kids
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成人瑪利歐賽車。
(笑聲)
09:06
drive past me to the finish line in tiny go-carts.
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反思了那段經歷之後,
09:10
We had so much fun that we started a new Saturday night tradition
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我很驕傲能在各位面前初次呈獻
09:13
after the kids were asleep.
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我的最高心流瑪利歐賽車理論。
09:15
Adult Mario Kart.
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09:16
(Laughter)
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它有三項條件:精通、
09:19
So after reflecting on that experience,
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全心專注、找到重要性。
咱們從精通談起。
09:22
I'm proud to present to you for the first time
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最近,很多人都會覺得 很難精通一件事。
09:25
my Mario Kart theory of peak flow.
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(笑聲)
心理學家發現,在工作上,
09:29
It has three conditions: mastery, mindfulness and mattering.
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促成日常動力和喜悅的最強因素
09:34
Let's start with mastery.
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是進步感。
09:35
Mastery is something
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我們發現,在西方文化中, 我們的快樂仰賴
09:37
a lot of us have been having a hard time finding lately.
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09:39
(Laughter)
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09:40
Psychologists find that at work
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今天專案順不順, 而不是昨天專案順不順。
09:43
the strongest factor in daily motivation and joy
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那就是為什麼 Nike 說 「Just do it(做就是了)」。
09:46
is a sense of progress.
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我想,如果 Nike 在比較著重 過去的國家發跡,如中國,
09:48
We find that our happiness depends in Western cultures
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09:52
more on how our projects are going today than how they went yesterday.
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標語會變成「Just did it (剛做過了)」。
09:56
That's why Nike says, "Just do it."
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如果萎靡是一種停滯,
09:59
I guess if Nike had been started in a more past-focused country like China,
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那心流就和動能有關。
但精通不見得要是大成就,
10:04
their slogan would be, "Just did it."
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也可以是小勝利。
小勝利說明了為什麼 我會被線上拼字遊戲吸引,
10:09
If languishing is stagnation, flow involves momentum.
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因為急著想去玩七個字母的單字。
10:13
But mastery does not have to be a big accomplishment,
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小勝利可以合理說明為何這麼多人 初次烤出酸種麵包就會好興奮。
10:17
it can be small wins.
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小勝利也能解釋為何工程師
10:19
Small wins explain why I was drawn to online Scrabble
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會花一個下午的時間,
10:22
for the rush of playing a seven-letter word.
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去精通把 M&M’s 巧克力 一個一個疊起來的藝術。
10:25
Small wins makes sense of why so many people were thrilled
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10:28
to bake their first loaf of sourdough bread.
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咱們來看看。
10:30
And small wins explain why one engineer spent an entire afternoon
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(影片)這比我預期的還困難。
10:35
mastering the art of stacking M&M's on top of each other.
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噢!
10:40
Take a look.
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喔!
10:42
(Video) This is going to be harder than I thought.
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五顆 M&M’s!五顆 M&M’s!
(笑聲)
亞當:結果發現那是世界紀錄。
(笑聲)
10:51
Oh!
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那樣的精通,要仰賴 心流的第二個條件:
10:53
Oh!
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10:54
Five M&Ms! Five M&Ms!
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全心專注。
把所有的注意力放到 單一工作任務上,
10:58
(Laughter)
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11:00
AG: Turns out that was a world record.
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最近大部分人都很少做到這一點。
11:02
(Laughter)
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11:04
That kind of mastery depends on a second condition for flow,
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〔你還好嗎?你幾乎沒有在 注意你的書、手機、節目、
11:07
mindfulness.
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筆電,和你十分鐘前 開始玩的填字遊戲。〕
11:09
Focusing your full attention on a single task,
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證據顯示,
11:12
not something a lot of us are doing that much these days.
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平均來說,人每天 會檢查電子郵件 74 次。
每十分鐘換做另一件事情,
11:16
[Are you OK? You’re barely paying attention to your book, phone, show ... ]
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11:19
[ ... laptop and the crossword you started ten minutes ago.]
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造就了所謂的「碎片時間」,
11:22
There's evidence that on average, people are checking emails 74 times a day,
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我們把人生中本來 可能很有意義的時刻
切碎成為越來越小、 越來越無用的碎片。
11:27
switching tasks every 10 minutes,
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碎片時間是能量和卓越之敵。
11:32
and that creates what's been called time confetti,
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如果我們想要找到心流, 就需要更好的界線。
11:35
where we take what could be meaningful moments of our lives
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11:37
and we shred them
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〔這東西能避免我每兩秒鐘 就去看一下手機。〕
11:39
into increasingly tiny, useless pieces.
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11:42
Time confetti is an enemy of both energy and of excellence.
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(笑聲)
說到界線時,
11:46
If we want to find flow, we need better boundaries.
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我會想到組織學者 萊絲莉.普羅做的實驗。
11:50
[It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds.]
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她到一間《財星》五百大企業 檢驗安靜時段政策。
11:54
(Laughter)
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一週有三個早上 不會有人打斷你做事。
11:57
When I think about boundaries,
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11:58
I think of an experiment by organizational scholar Leslie Perlow.
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平均而言,工程師的產能大大提升。
12:02
She went to a Fortune 500 company and she tested a quiet time policy.
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47% 的工程師比平常更有生產力。
最棒的是,當該公司 把安靜時段訂為官方政策時,
12:07
No interruptions three mornings a week before noon.
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生產力會比平均高 65%。
12:11
On average, engineers spiked in productivity.
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我想,星期二、星期四、星期五 中午以前的時段沒什麼神奇的。
12:14
47 percent of them were more productive than usual.
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12:17
But the best part is that when the company made quiet time official policy,
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這裡的教訓是,我們應該 要把能不被打斷的時段
12:21
they had 65 percent above average productivity.
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當作寶藏來守護。
精通和全心專注能讓你達到心流,
12:25
I don't think there's anything magical
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12:27
about Tuesday, Thursday, Friday before noon.
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但有第三個條件能把心流 變成最棒的體驗。
12:30
The lesson here is that we need to treat uninterrupted blocks of time
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找到重要性。
知道你能為他人改善境況。
12:33
as treasures to guard.
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12:36
Now, mastery and mindfulness will get you to flow,
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職涯初期時我研究過 負責打電話募款的人,
他們要請校友捐錢給大學,
12:40
but there's a third condition that turns it into a peak experience.
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當我看到他們牆壁上張貼的標語, 我就知道他們在萎靡了。
12:43
Mattering. Knowing that you make a difference to other people.
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〔在這裡把工作做好, 就像是尿在深色褲子上,
12:48
Early in my career, I was studying fundraising callers
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你會有暖暖的感覺, 但沒人會注意到。〕
12:50
who were trying to bring in alumni donations to a university,
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(笑聲)
12:54
and I knew they were languishing when I saw this sign posted on their wall.
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我想要研究,如何讓他們 知道他們的工作有重要性。
於是我設計了一系列的實驗,
12:58
[Doing a good job here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit]
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結果次月有一組人平均每週 花在電話上的時間變成兩倍多,
13:02
[You get a warm feeling but no one else notices]
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13:04
(Laughter)
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每週收益則變成近三倍。
13:06
I wanted to study how to show them that their work mattered.
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會有這樣的改變,是因為他們 被隨機指派和一名學生見面,
13:09
So I designed a series of experiments
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13:12
and over the next month, one group of callers on average
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該學生的獎學金 來自他們工作募得的捐款。
13:15
more than doubled in weekly time on the phone
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現在他們不會把焦點 放在單調的打電話過程,
13:17
and nearly tripled in weekly revenue.
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反而全神貫注在有意義的目的上:
13:20
What moved the needle was randomly assigning them to meet one student
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協助募集學費。
13:24
whose scholarship had been funded by their work.
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想想看如果你的工作不存在 會讓哪些人的境況變糟。
13:28
Now, instead of focusing on the monotonous process of making calls,
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那些人會讓你的工作有重要性。
13:31
they were absorbed in a meaningful purpose of helping to fund tuition.
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你得要知道他們的 名字、面孔、故事,
你就能在對他們有益的 專案計畫中找到心流。
13:36
So think about the people who would be worse off if your job didn't exist.
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這完全解釋了為什麼瑪利歐賽車 對我而言是這麼棒的體驗。
13:40
Those are the people who make your work matter.
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它給了我精通的感覺,
13:43
You need to know their names, their faces and their stories,
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和甜美的滿足感 ──把香蕉皮放在完美的位子,
13:47
and you can find flow in projects that benefit them.
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等著讓我姐姐打滑。
13:51
This all explains why Mario Kart was such a great experience for me.
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這遊戲也需要全心專注。
我姐夫是最強的玩家。
13:54
It gave me a feeling of mastery,
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要打敗他就需要完全專注,
13:56
the sweet satisfaction of a perfectly placed banana peel
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特別是我的孩子 還跟他聯手來對付我。
14:00
for my sister to slip on.
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而且這件事不只是個遊戲, 還有它的重要性。
14:03
It required mindfulness too.
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14:05
My brother-in-law was the best player.
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在過去一年,我們都感到某種無助。
14:07
Beating him demanded total concentration,
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14:09
especially when my kids were ganging up with him against me.
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對改善疫情我感到無助。
我甚至沒辦法做什麼 讓線上學習變更好。
14:13
And it wasn't just a game. It mattered.
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我還是個老師。
但在瑪利歐賽車裡, 我覺得我能助人。
14:17
Over the past year, we've all felt helpless in one way or another.
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在我們無法出門時, 我還能給孩子一些期待。
14:21
I felt helpless to fix covid.
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14:23
I couldn't even do that much to make online school better.
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當家人分隔各地時, 我能讓全家緊密連結。
14:26
And I'm a teacher.
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14:28
But in Mario Kart, I felt helpful.
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我們通常認為心流是個人的經歷。
但在玩任天堂時, 我們都沉浸在一起。
14:31
I was able to give my kids something to look forward to
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14:34
when we couldn't go anywhere.
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雖然我們不再每天玩了,
14:36
I was able to keep my family close when we were far apart.
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我覺得我和姐姐及姐夫 比以前更親近了。
14:40
We normally think of flow as an individual experience.
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我學到,愛的重點 並不是溝通的頻率,
14:43
But playing Nintendo, we were all immersed together.
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是連結的深度。
14:46
And although we don't play daily anymore,
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我也了解到,萎靡的解藥
14:48
I feel closer to my sister and my brother-in-law
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不見得要是有生產力的事物,
14:51
than I ever had before.
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2002
也可以是好玩的事物。
14:53
I learned that love is not the frequency of communication,
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心流最高峰的時刻,就是 和我們愛的人一同享樂的時刻,
14:56
it's the depth of connections.
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14:59
I also realized that the antidote to languishing
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這一點現在已經被我納入 我的每日待辦事項清單了。
15:02
does not have to be something productive,
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所以,你的瑪利歐賽車是什麼?
15:05
it can be something joyful.
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你在哪裡能找到精通和全心專注, 並和對你重要的人在一起?
15:07
Our peak moments of flow are having fun with the people we love,
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我認為我們要重新思考 我們對於心理健康及幸福的了解。
15:12
which is now a daily task on my to-do list.
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不憂鬱,並不表示你沒有掙扎。
15:16
So what's your version of Mario Kart?
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2002
15:18
Where do you find mastery and mindfulness with the people who matter to you?
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沒有筋疲力竭,
不表示你就充滿熱情。
15:23
I think we need to rethink our understanding
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當別人問:「你好嗎?」
15:25
of mental health and well-being.
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你可以說:「老實說,我很萎靡。」
15:27
Not depressed doesn't mean you're not struggling.
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或者,如果你只能發出一個音,
15:32
Not burned out
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15:33
doesn't mean you're fired up.
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就說「咩」。(笑聲)
15:35
When someone says, "How are you?,"
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當你準備好,就可以開始尋找心流,
15:38
it's OK to say, "Honestly, I'm languishing."
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照亮脫離空虛的路。
謝謝。
15:42
Or if you can only muster one syllable,
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(掌聲)
15:45
"Meh."
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15:47
(Laughter)
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15:48
And when you're ready, you can start finding the flow
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15:51
that lights a path out of the void.
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15:53
Thank you.
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15:54
(Applause)
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