How you can use impostor syndrome to your benefit | Mike Cannon-Brookes

翻译人员: Jiasi Hao 校对人员: Yanyan Hong

So I've experienced a lot of success in my life.

我人生中经历过许多成功。

Over a decade ago,

十多年前，

I started a business straight out of uni with my mate, Scott.

我和我的同伴史考特一起 在大学毕业后直接创了业。

Now, having no prior business experience

没有任何商业经验

and not really any grand plan --

也没有什么宏伟蓝图——

事实上，当时我们创业时的目标 是不用找一份真正的工作。

in fact, our goals when we started were not to have to get a real job

(Laughter)

（笑声）

and to not have to wear a suit to work every day.

以及不用每天穿着西装上班。

Check and check.

两个目标都达成了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Today, we have thousands of amazing employees,

今天，我们有上千名优秀的员工，

and millions of people use our software around the planet.

以及全球有上百万人 在使用我们的软件，

And technically, even outside the planet,

严格上说，甚至在我们地球外，

if you count those that are currently on their way to Mars.

如果正前往火星的那些人也算。

So you'd think that I know what I'm doing every day

你可能会觉得我知道自己 每天去上班的时候

都知道自己在干嘛。

when I go to work.

Well, let me let you in on something:

好吧，让我告诉你些事情：

大多数时候，我仍然感觉 不知道自己在干嘛。

most days, I still feel like I often don't know what I'm doing.

I've felt that way for 15 years,

我已经这么觉得 15 年了，

and I've since learned that feeling is called "impostor syndrome."

后来我知道这样的感觉 被叫做“冒充者综合症”。

Have you ever felt out of your depth,

你是否曾在内心深处觉得自己

like a fraud,

像个骗子？

and just kind of guessed/bullshitted your way through the situation --

就那种你通过坑蒙拐骗的方式 披襟斩将，获取成就。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

petrified that anytime,

时刻都在恐慌，

someone was going to call you on it?

就担心有人要揭穿你？

Well, I can think of many examples where I felt like this.

我可以回想到很多 自己有这般感觉的例子。

Interviewing our first HR manager,

在面试我们的第一位 人力资源经理时，

having never worked in a company that had an HR department --

我却从来没有在一家有着 人力资源部门的公司工作过——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

terrified as I walked into the interview,

当我走去面试房间时， 我紧张得要命，

thinking, "What am I going to ask this person?"

心想，“我要问这人什么问题？”

Or attending board meetings in a T-shirt surrounded by suits,

或是穿着 T 恤衫参加董事会议， 被一群西装人包围着，

他们满口都是首字母缩略词。

and acronyms are flying around,

feeling like a five-year-old

感觉自己就是个 5 岁的小孩

as I surreptitiously write them down in my notebook,

偷偷在笔记本上记下那些词汇，

so I can look them up on Wikipedia when I get home later.

等我回家后可以 马上到维基百科上查。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

Or, in the early days,

或者，早些时候，

when people would call up and ask for accounts payable,

当人们给我电话追讨应付帐款时，

我会整个人怔住并想： “等等，他们是在要钱，

I would freeze and think, "Wait, are they asking for money

还是想给我们钱？”

or giving it to us?"

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And I would cover the phone,

之后我会捂住电话，

cover the mouthpiece of the phone,

捂住电话的话筒，

and say, "Scott, you're in accounts,"

并说：“史考特，你的账目电话。”

之后把电话转接给他。

and pass it across.

(Laughter)

（笑声）

We both did a lot of jobs back then.

那时我俩都做了很多工作。

So for me, impostor syndrome is a feeling of being well, well out of your depth,

所以对我来说，冒充者综合症 是当你面对力所不能及的情况，

yet already entrenched in the situation.

却无法脱身时的一种感受。

Internally, you know you're not skilled enough, experienced enough

内心中，你知道自己 没有足够的技能和经验，

or qualified enough to justify being there,

或是没有足够的资格 来解释你所在的高度，

yet you are there,

但是你就在那里，

and you have to figure a way out,

并且你需要想办法解决这个情况，

because you can't just get out.

因为你无法甩手不干。

It's not a fear of failure,

这不是对于失败的恐惧，

and it's not a fear of being unable to do it.

这也不是对于自己能力不足的恐惧。

这更像是一种 想要逃离某件事的感觉，

It's more a sensation of getting away with something,

a fear of being discovered,

一种害怕被发现的恐惧，

that at any time, someone is going to figure this out.

担心在任何时候， 有人会发现你的真面目。

And if they did figure it out,

而且如果他们确实发现了，

you'd honestly think, "Well, that's fair enough, actually."

你会诚实地想： “好吧，这实际没什么毛病。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

One of my favorite writers, Neil Gaiman, put it so beautifully

尼尔·盖曼，我最喜欢的作家之一， 在一个大学毕业典礼致辞中

in a commencement address he gave at a university, called "Make Good Art."

把这现象非常美好地描述为 “创造卓越的艺术(Make Good Art)”

I want to make sure I get his quote correct.

我想要确保我的引用准确无误。

"I was convinced that there would be a knock on the door,

“我深信，有一天， 有人会敲开我家的门，

and a man with a clipboard would be there to tell me that it was all over,

一个手拿写字夹板的男人 将会站在门外，告诉我一切都结束了，

that they'd caught up with me,

他们必须将我抓捕归案，

and that I would now have to go and get a real job."

我将必须离开， 去找份正儿八经的工作。”

Now, when there's a knock on my door,

现在，当有人敲我门，

I still feel like some sort of dark-suited clipboard man is going to be there

我仍然会有那种身穿黑色西装、

携带写字夹板的人 要出现在门口的感觉，

to tell me that my time is kind of up.

告诉我：我的时间到了。

我不擅长做饭，

And being a crap cook,

I'm quite relieved when it's just someone with a pizza for the kids.

门外的人若是来外送披萨 给孩子，我会大舒一口气。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But it's important to note that it's not all bad.

但重要的是是要知道， 那些感觉并非都是不好的。

There's a lot of goodness, I think, in those feelings.

其实我觉得， 当中也有很多好处。

And this isn't some sort of motivational-poster type talk,

这并非是励志标语式的演讲

a "Begin it now."

以及“现在就开始”的那种口号。

It's more of an introspection into my own experiences of impostor syndrome,

这更像是对我自身 冒充者综合症经历的自省，

and how I've tried to learn to harness them

以及我是如何学会掌控它

并将其转化为一种永恒的力量。

and turn them into some sort of a force for good.

And a great example of those experiences

这些经历中一个很好的例子

is in the early days of Atlassian's history.

就是在我们公司 Atlassian 创建初期。

We were about four years old, and we had about 70 employees.

公司仅成立了 4 年， 大概有 70 位员工。

And at the advice of our auditors --

在我们审计师的建议下——

most good stories start with advice from an auditor --

大多好故事 都是源于审计师建议——

（笑声）

(Laughter)

我们参加了新南威尔士州 年度企业家竞赛。

we entered the New South Wales Entrepreneur of the Year competition.

Now, we were surprised when we won

当我们得知自己

the New South Wales Entrepreneur of the Year

在 40 岁以下创业家组别中获胜时，

in the young category for entrepreneurs under 40.

我们非常惊讶意外。

总共有 8 个组别。

There were eight categories.

And so surprised, in fact,

真的非常惊讶，真的，

having looked at the list of people we were up against,

在看了我们竞争对手的名单后，

I didn't even turn up to the awards ceremony.

我甚至都没有出现在颁奖典礼上。

So Scott collected the gong by himself.

所以史考特只能自己去领奖。

And then we traveled off to the national awards.

之后我们一起去了全国奖的颁奖典礼，

I thought I should probably turn up to those.

我想我可能应该去参加一下 那些颁奖典礼。

So we rented some suits,

于是我们租了几套西服，

I invited a girl that I had just met --

我邀请了一个刚遇上的女孩——

we'll get to her in a second --

我们一会儿会说到她——

(Laughter)

（笑声）

and off we went to the big black-tie gala.

我们一起前往了 正式礼服的晚宴。

Now, our surprise turned to shock

当晚我们还沉浸在摘取 比赛年轻组别第一名的惊喜中时，

in the first award of the night, the young category,

惊喜便转变为震惊，

when we beat all of the other states

当我们得知自己打败了 所有来自其余州的创业家，

and won the Australian Young Entrepreneur of the Year.

并且赢得了澳大利亚 年度青年企业家的奖项。

When the shock had worn off,

当震惊褪去，

we got a lot of champagne to the table and the party began,

我们准备了满桌子的香槟， 庆祝派对开始，

于是这晚就这么过去了。

and the night was surely over.

We were having a royally great time.

我们度过了美好的时光。

Fast-forward to the last award of the night,

快进到那晚的最后一个奖项，

and our shock turned into everybody's shock

我们的震惊变成了 在场每一个人的震惊，

when we won the Australian Entrepreneur of the Year

因为我们击败所有其余组别，

赢得了澳大利亚年度企业家的奖项。

against all of the other categories.

Now, so shocked was everybody else, in fact,

别人也都很惊讶，

包括奖项发布人 安永的首席执行官，

that the announcer, the CEO of Ernst and Young,

opened the envelope,

打开信封，

and the first words out of his mouth were, "Oh my God."

从他嘴里冒出来的 第一句话是“我的天呐。”

（笑声）

(Laughter)

And then he reset himself and announced that we had won.

之后他重新调整了状态， 宣布我们赢得了奖项。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So we knew we were in way too deep.

所以我们知道 我们已经过火了。

And from there, the water got a lot deeper,

尤其从获得国内最高奖项开始， 这一切变得一发不可收拾，

because we jetted off to Monte Carlo

因为我们飞往蒙特卡洛

to represent Australia in the World Entrepreneur of the Year

代表澳大利亚， 参加世界年度企业家的比赛，

against 40 other different countries.

与其他 40 个国家的团队比拼。

Now, in another rented suit, I was at one of the dinners

有天，我在一个晚宴上 穿着另一套租来的西服，

and sitting next to a lovely man called Belmiro de Azevedo,

坐在一个可爱的名叫 贝尔米罗·德·阿泽维多的男人边上，

who was the winner from Portugal.

是来自葡萄牙的获奖者。

Total champion.

比赛总冠军。

At 65, he had been running his business for 40 years.

他 65 岁，已经从商 40 年了。

He had 30,000 employees.

有着 3 万名员工。

Don't forget, at the time, we had 70.

别忘了，那时候我们只有 70 名。

And he had four billion euro in turnover.

他公司的营业额高达 40 亿欧元。

在共进几杯红酒后，

And after a couple of wines,

I remember admitting to him that I felt that we did not deserve to be there,

我记得自己向他承认 我觉得我们不值得坐在这，

that we were well out of our depth,

因为这已经远超出我们的水平，

and at some time, someone was going to figure this out

某个时点，有人会发现这件事

and send us home to Australia.

并把我们送回澳大利亚。

And he, I remember, just paused and looked at me

之后他，我记得， 只是不语、看着我，

and said that he felt exactly the same way

之后说他也有同样的感觉

and that he suspected all the winners were feeling that way,

并且怀疑所有的获奖者 都是这么觉得的，

and that despite not knowing Scott or I or really anything about technology,

尽管他不了解我和史考特， 还有我们的技术，

he said that we were obviously doing something right

他说我们显然把事情做对了，

可能应该继续这件事。

and should probably just keep going.

（笑声）

(Laughter)

两个原因，这我对来说 是个比较重要的顿悟瞬间。

Now, this was a pretty big light bulb moment for me for two reasons.

第一，我意识到 别人也有着同样的感受。

One, I realized that other people felt this as well.

And two, I realized it doesn't go away with any form of success.

第二，这个感受不论是 何种形式的成功，都是挥之不去的。

I had assumed that successful people didn't feel like frauds,

我一直在假设那些成功人士 不觉得自己像个骗子，

and I now know that the opposite is more likely to be true.

但现在我知道，事实更可能相反。

And this isn't just a feeling that I have at work.

这不只是在工作中， 我才有这个感觉。

It happens in my personal life, too.

我的个人生活也是如此。

In the early days,

早些时候，

I was flying back and forth to San Francisco every week for Atlassian,

为 Atlassian 的生意， 我时常往返飞旧金山，

之后我累计了很多常旅客的积分

and I racked up a lot of frequent flyer points

后来获得了进入澳航（Qantas） 商务休息室的权限。

and got access to the Qantas business lounge.

Now, if there's ever a place that I don't belong ...

噢，如果世上有一个 不属于我的地方……

(Laughter)

（笑声）

这丝毫没有帮助：

It doesn't help when I walk in and they generally look at me in shorts and jeans,

当我走近休息室，服务人员一般 会看着身穿短袖和牛仔裤

or jeans and a T-shirt, and say, "Can I help you, son? Are you lost?"

或牛仔裤和 T 恤的我，说： “我能帮助你吗，孩子？你走丢了吗？”

But anyway, sometimes life happens in the Qantas lounge

但不管怎么， 在你没有任何期待之时，

在澳航休息室， 一些“大事”就会发生。

when you'd least expect it.

One morning, over a decade ago,

十年多前，一个早晨，

I was sitting there on my regularly weekly commute,

我坐在那， 这是我日常每周的通勤，

and a beautiful woman from way out of my league

一个和我仿佛是 两个世界的美丽女士

walked into the Qantas lounge and continued walking straight up to me

走进了澳航休息室， 并且径直向我走来，

因为她认错人了。

in a case of mistaken identity.

她把我误认为了另一个人。

She thought I was someone else,

so in this case, I actually was an impostor.

所以在这个情况下， 我实际上是一个冒充者。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But rather than freeze as I would have historically done

然而不同往常 在这种情况下呆若木鸡，

或是正直地告诉她认错人的我，

or chivalrously maybe informed her of her error,

I just tried to keep the conversation going.

我只是尽可能 保持这段对话的继续。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

之后那种经典的澳式废话 让我向前迈进了一步，

And classic Australian bullshit became some sort of forward movement

and a phone number.

拿到了她的电话号码。

And I took that girl to the awards ceremony a couple of months later.

几个月后，我带着那个 女孩去了颁奖典礼。

And more than a decade later,

十多年之后，

我非常高兴地说， 她成为了我的妻子，

I'm incredibly happy that she is now my wife,

我们一起抚养着 4 个优秀的儿女。

and we have four amazing children together.

(Applause)

（掌声）

But you'd think that when I wake up every morning,

但是你可能会想 当我每天早上醒来，

I wouldn't roll over and look at her and think, "She's going to say,

我不会翻过身，看着我的妻子， 之后想：她马上要说——

'Who are you, and who gave you that side of the bed?'

“你是谁，谁让你睡在床那边的？”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

'Get out of here.'"

“滚出去。”

But she doesn't.

但是她没有。不过我想，

And I think she sometimes feels the same way.

她有时也会有这样的感觉。

And apparently, that's one of the reasons

而且显然， 这很可能是我们成功婚姻的

that we'll likely have a successful marriage.

其中一个原因。

You see, in researching this talk,

在我为这个演讲做准备的时候，

I learned that one of the attributes of the most successful relationships

我发现，大多数成功关系的特性之一

是双方都觉得自己配不上彼此。

is when both partners feel out of their league.

They feel that their partner is out of their league.

他们觉得自己配不上自己的伴侣，

They feel like impostors.

他们就感觉自己是冒充者。

And if they don't freeze, and they're thankful,

他们如果没有害怕退缩， 而是感恩。

and they work harder and they stretch to be the best partner they can,

他们会更加努力， 彼此磨合为最佳伴侣。

这一点，可能锻造 一段非常成功的关系。

it's likely to be a very successful relationship.

So if you have this feeling, don't freeze.

如果你有这样的感觉，别怕。

Try to keep the conversation going,

尝试保持对话的进行，

even if she thinks that you're somebody that you're not.

即使她误以为你是另一个人。

Now, feeling like, or people thinking I'm someone I'm not

自己感觉，或是别人认为 我是一个并非真实自己的角色

actually happens quite frequently.

实际上蛮常发生的。

A great example from my more recent past,

一个来自最近的很好的例子，

几个月之前和我的一个孩子， 晚上熬着夜，

a few months ago, I was up late at night with one of my kids,

之后我看到推特上

and I saw something on Twitter

about Tesla saying that they could solve

关于特斯拉的一些新闻， 说是他们能够

South Australia's rolling series of power crises

利用他们的一个巨型工业电池

with one of their large industrial batteries.

来解决南澳大利亚 持续发生的电力危机。

未经思索， 我发了一堆推文

Without thinking, I fired off a bunch of tweets,

challenging them and saying were they really serious about this.

挑战他们，并写道， “他们对此真的是认真的吗？”

And in doing so, I managed to kick a very small rock

这么做，我只是设法从一座大山上

off a very big hill

踢下了一块小石子，

that turned into an avalanche that I found myself tumbling in the middle of.

之后那演变成了雪崩， 我发现自己被困在了其中。

因为几个小时后， 伊隆·马斯克回复了我的推文

Because you see, a few hours later, Elon tweeted me back and said

并说他们认真得不能再认真，

that they were deadly serious,

that within a hundred days of contract signing,

在合同签署后的 100 天内，

他们可以安装一个 100 兆瓦/时的设施。

they could install a 100-megawatt-hour facility,

which is a giant battery of a world-class size,

这是一个具有 世界一流尺寸的巨型电池，

one of the biggest ever made on the planet.

世上所有被制造的 最大的电池之一。

And that's when all hell really broke loose.

我看到回复的时候， 一切都崩溃了。

Within 24 hours, I had every major media outlet

在 24 小时内，各大主流媒体渠道

texting and emailing and trying to get in contact with me

都在给我发消息、发邮件， 尝试着联系到我，

to get opinion as some sort of "expert" in energy.

并且询问我这位 能源“专家”的想法。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Now, at the time, I couldn't really have told you the difference

那时候，我还没法说出不同：

between a one-and-a-half-volt AA battery that goes in my kids' toys

我孩子们玩具中的 1.5 伏三号电池，

and a 100-megawatt-hour industrial-scale battery facility

和即将出现在南澳大利亚，

有潜力解决他们电力危机的

that goes in South Australia

100 兆瓦/时的工业规模 电池设施的不同。

that could potentially solve their power crisis.

I was now feeling a chronic case of impostor syndrome,

我觉得自己的冒充者综合症 是一种慢性的症状，

(Laughter)

（笑声）

and it got truly bizarre.

而且变得真的很古怪。

And I remember thinking to myself,

我记得当时在想，

"Shit. I've kind of started something here and I can't really get out.

“我在这搞出了点事， 而且我还没办法挣脱出来。

If I abandon the situation,

如果我放弃这个情况，

I'm going to sort of set back renewables in Australia

我将会制约 澳洲可再生能源的发展

and maybe just look like a complete idiot

并且因为我在推特上愚蠢的行为，

because of my idiocy on Twitter."

我还可能看起来像个彻底的白痴。”

So I thought the only thing I could do

于是我想到了 我唯一能做的一件事

was to try not to freeze and to try to learn.

就是尝试不要害怕， 而是尝试着去学习。

So I spent a week

于是我花了一周的时间

trying to learn everything I could about industrial-scale batteries

尽我所能，试着学习一切 关于工业规模电池、

and the electricity grid and renewables and the economics of all of this

电网、可再生能源、 所有这些的经济效应

and whether this was even a feasible proposal.

以及这甚至是否是一个可行的方案。

I talked to the chief scientist, I talked to the CSIRO,

我和首席科学家 与 CSRO 都进行了交谈，

had multiple ministers and premiers trying to give me their side of the story

也让几个部长和总理 尝试从他们的角度分享他们故事，

from both sides of the aisle.

来听取各方观点。

I managed to exchange tweets with the prime minister.

我设法和总理交流推文。

I even managed to pull off a passing impression, let's say,

我甚至设法给人留下深刻印象，

比如， ABC 电视新闻节目 （Lateline）的能源专家。

of an energy expert on ABC Lateline.

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But as a result of all this,

但这些所有努力的结果是

South Australia did put out a battery tender,

南澳大利亚后来 的确进行了一场电池招标，

and they had more than 90 applications for that battery tender.

而且这场招标收到了 90 余供应商的申请。

And the national conversation over a period of a few months

在几个月中，全国性话题

从议会中探讨的戏剧性的煤块问题

moved from the sort of theatrical lumps of coal in the parliament

to discussing kind of which industrial-scale battery chemistry

变成了讨论哪种工业规模的 电池化学法

最适合制造巨型可再生电池。

was the best for building large-scale renewable batteries.

So I think that the important lesson is by that time in my life,

所以我觉得，直至那时， 我人生中最重要的一堂课

I knew well that I was an impostor.

就是我很清楚自己是个冒充者。

I knew I was miles out of my depth.

我知道这件事 超出了我的能力范围。

But instead of freezing, I tried to learn as much as I could,

但因为我不想 被看作是白痴，相比怔住，

motivated by my fear of generally looking like an idiot,

这一恐惧驱动着我 尝试去学习了更多的知识，

and tried to turn that into some sort of a force for good.

也尝试着把恐惧转化为 一股永恒的力量。

So one of the things I've learned

所以，我学会的一件事

is that people think successful people don't feel like frauds.

就是：人们认为成功人士 不会感觉自己像骗子。

But I think, especially knowing a lot of entrepreneurs,

但我想，尤其是认识了 很多创业家之后，

the opposite is more likely to be true.

大众想法的反面 才更可能是真相。

But the most successful people I know don't question themselves,

但我知道的大部分成功人士， 他们不会质疑自己，

but they do heavily question, regularly question, their ideas

尽管他们确实会 不断质疑——他们的想法

and their knowledge.

和他们的知识。

They know when the water is way too deep,

他们知道什么时候 情况超出了他们的能力范围，

也不惧怕请教他人。

and they're not afraid to ask for advice.

他们不觉得那是一件坏事。

They don't see that as a bad thing.

And they use that advice to hone those ideas, to improve them

他们而是用那些建议 去打磨、改进那些想法，

并同时学习。

and to learn.

And it's OK to be out of your depth sometimes.

有时力所不能及，没有关系。

我经常面对那些 自己力所不能及的情况。

I'm frequently out of my depth.

It's OK to be out of your depth.

超出你能力范畴，没有关系。

It's OK to be in a situation where you just can't push the eject button,

处于不能按下退缩 按钮的情况，没有关系，

只要你别怔住，

so long as you don't freeze,

so long as you harness the situation, don't be paralyzed

只要你能掌控那种情况，不要气馁，

and try to turn it into some sort of a force for good.

并且尽可能把它变为 一种积极的力量。

And it's important that I say "harness" here,

我这里说的“掌控”很重要，

because this isn't sort of pop-psychology BS

因为这不是什么流行心理学中

about conquering impostor syndrome for me.

帮助我战胜冒充者综合症的废话。

It's merely about being aware of it.

这仅仅在于“意识到这点”。

In fact, I'm extremely aware of feeling like an impostor right now,

事实上，我非常能意识到 现在自己有冒充者的感觉，

as I'm up here, some sort of pseudo-expert

因为我站在这里，像个伪专家，

on a feeling that I couldn't even put a name to a few months ago,

在几个月前，我同意做这个演讲时，

when I agreed to do this talk.

我甚至不知道我要谈的 这种感觉叫什么，

Which, if you think about it, is kind of the point, isn't it?

不过，你仔细想想， 这才是重点，不是吗？

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）