3 things new parents should consider before going back to work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

Prevodilac: Ivana Korom Lektor: Ivana Krivokuća

When I was pregnant, I just got very frustrated.

Kada sam bila trudna, mnogo sam se nervirala.

Don't eat deli meats, do this particular prenatal test.

Nemoj jesti suhomesnato, uradi baš ovaj prenatalni test.

Why did you make that choice? Why didn't you make a different choice?

Zašto si to odlučila? Zašto nisi uradila nešto drugo?

I felt like I was being told to do things, and I never got the answer to why.

Osećala sam da mi se govori šta da radim, a nikada mi nije rečeno zašto.

[The Way We Work]

[Način na koji radimo]

Sometimes in the world of modern parenting you just can't seem to win.

Ponekad u svetu modernog roditeljstva kao da ne možete da pobedite.

If I go back to work, I spend less time with my kid.

Ako nastavim da radim, provodim manje vremena sa decom.

What if they don't get the attention they need to adequately develop?

Šta ako ne dobiju pažnju koja im je potrebna za pravilan razvoj?

If I stay home and give up my income stream,

Ako ostanem kod kuće i odreknem se izvora zarade,

will I look back and regret my decision?

da li ću zažaliti zbog te odluke kasnije?

There's a lot of conflicting advice out there

Postoji mnogo kontradiktornih saveta

about whether to stay home or go back to work,

o tome da li da se vratite na posao ili ne,

so trying to make a choice between the two can be confusing and emotional.

i izbor može biti zbunjujuć i emotivan.

You love your kids and want what's best for them,

Volite svoju decu i želite najbolje za njih,

but how do you determine what best means when everyone has a different opinion?

ali kako da odredite šta je najbolje kada svi imaju drugačije mišljenje?

There are many variations of parents that a household can have,

Domaćinstvo može imati razlličite varijante roditelja

and I think more families should be asking the question

i mislim da bi više porodica trebalo da se zapita

of whether it makes sense for the male partner to stay home.

da li ima smisla da muškarac ostane kod kuće.

But the truth is that in the current time,

Istina je da se u današnje vreme

most of the discussions about stay-at-home parents

većina rasprava na temu roditelja koji ne radi

focus on women in particular.

fokusira naročito na žene.

I obično su žene te koje kažu da osećaju

And it's usually the women who say they feel

that what they do during the day is going to determine at a deep level

da ono što rade tokom dana na dubljem nivou određuje

what kind of mom and person they are.

kakva su osoba i majka.

That is a huge weight to put on yourself as a parent.

To je ogroman teret koji nosite kao roditelj.

And when you're met with the side-eye

I kada vas neko pogleda ispod oka

kad im kažete da li se vraćate na posao,

after telling someone you're going back to work or not,

it can poke holes in your confidence.

to vam može srušiti samopouzdanje.

Odlučila sam da otkrijem.

I decided to dig in and find out.

Is it better to stay at home or go back to work?

Da li je bolje ostati kod kuće ili se vratiti na posao?

It's an emotional decision, yes,

Da, to je emotivna odluka,

but as an economist I've learned that we can use data

ali sam kao ekonomista naučila da možemo da koristimo podatke

to help navigate through those emotional decisions

da bismo upravljali tim emotivnim odlukama

and feel confident we're making the best decision for our family.

i osećali se sigurno da donosimo najbolju odluku za svoju porodicu.

Specifically there are three main factors you should consider before you decide.

Razmotrite ova tri faktora pre nego što odlučite.

First, you need to think about

Prvo, trebalo bi da razmislite

how this decision will affect your family budget.

kako će ova odluka uticati na porodični budžet.

Let's do some numbers.

Hajde da malo računamo.

Say your total household income is 100,000 dollars,

Recimo da su ukupni prihodi vašeg domaćinstva 100 000 dolara,

with you and your partner making 50,000 each.

gde partner i vi zarađujete po 50 000.

That means you bring home about 85,000 dollars after taxes.

To znači da, kad platite porez, zarada vam je 85 000 dolara.

If both of you work

Ako oboje radite,

and the family pays 1,500 dollars a month for childcare,

a mesečno plaćate 1 500 dolara za vrtić,

your total disposable income would be 67,000 dollars a year.

na raspolaganju imate ukupno 67 000 dolara godišnje.

Are you with me so far?

Da li me pratite?

If you decide to stay home,

Ako odlučite da ne radite,

your family makes less but you don't pay for childcare.

porodica će manje zarađivati, ali nećete plaćati vrtić.

U ovoj varijanti imate manje na raspolaganju,

Your disposable income goes down in this scenario,

but not by as much as it would if you didn't factor in the childcare.

ali i dalje više nego kad biste plaćali vrtić.

It becomes more complicated if childcare is more expensive in your area.

Stvar se komplikuje ako je u vašem kraju vrtić skuplji.

Dadilja sa punim radnim vremenom može biti 40-50 000 godišnje,

A full-time nanny can run 40, 50,000 dollars a year

depending on where you live.

zavisno od toga gde živite.

If that's the case in your neighborhood, in the scenario I outlined,

Ako je tako u vašem kraju, u slučaju koji sam prikazala,

it would completely wipe out one parent's income,

to bi potpuno pojelo primanja jednog roditelja,

and you'd be better off financially with one parent staying home.

i finansijski bi vam bilo bolje da jedan roditelj ne radi.

Of course, this is only a short-term analysis.

Naravno, ovo je samo kratkoročna analiza.

Childcare is less expensive sometimes when kids are in school,

Ponekad je čuvanje dece jeftinije kada deca idu u školu,

and you may make a higher income later, so you want to factor that in if you can.

a kasnije možete više zarađivati, pa želite da uračunate i to ako možete.

Once you've done the math, you'll know what's possible

Kada ste sve izračunali, znaćete šta je moguće

and you'll be able to make a more informed choice,

i moći ćete da donesete bolju odluku,

što će vas ohrabriti.

which should feel empowering.

Second, it's time to talk about what's best for your child.

Drugo, vreme je da govorimo o onome što je najbolje za vaše dete.

You may think this should be the core of your decision,

Možda mislite da je ovo suština vaše odluke,

ali zapravo nema pravog odgovora.

but there's actually no right answer.

According to studies from Europe and the US,

Prema nekim studijama iz Evrope i Amerike,

the decision to go back to work or stay at home

odluka da li raditi ili ne

won't actually make or break your child's future success.

neće zapravo uticati na detetov budući uspeh.

Research shows that two parents working full-time

Istraživanja pokazuju da dvoje stalno zaposlenih roditelja

has a similar effect on your child's future test scores and income

imaju sličan uticaj na detetove buduće rezultate na testovima i primanja

to one parent working and one not.

kao i kad jedan roditelj radi a drugi ne.

What seems to be most important is the environment

Najvažnija je okolina

your child is in during their spare time.

u kojoj dete provodi slobodno vreme.

As long as they're engaging in enriching activities;

Sve dok se bave aktivnostima koje ih obogaćuju,

čitaju, vežbaju motoriku, druže se sa drugom decom,

reading, practicing their motor skills, interacting with other kids,

they're going to thrive whether or not you're at home.

dobro će se razvijati nezavisno da li ste s njima.

There is a bit of nuance in the data.

Postoje i nijanse u podacima.

For example, studies have found,

Na primer, istraživanja pokazuju da,

that if both parents work,

ako oba roditelja rade,

kids from poorer families are impacted positively,

to pozitivno utiče na decu iz siromašnijih porodica,

and kids from richer families are impacted less positively.

a na decu iz bogatijih porodica manje pozitivno.

So depending on your household configuration,

U zavisnosti od karakteristika vašeg domaćinstva,

the effects on your child could be a little positive,

efekti na dete mogu biti donekle pozitivni

or a little negative,

ili donekle negativni,

but the overall impact is negligible.

ali je sveukupni uticaj zanemarljiv.

Now I want to call out an exception: maternity leave.

Želim da ukažem na izuzetak: porodiljsko odsustvo.

There is a growing body of evidence suggesting that babies do better

Sve je više dokaza koji pokazuju da je za bebe bolje

when their mothers take some maternity leave.

kada majke koriste porodiljsko odsustvo.

The early days with your child can impact their development,

Rani dani sa vašim detetom mogu uticati na njegov razvoj,

so if you have paid leave, you should take it,

pa ako imate plaćeno odsustvo, trebalo bi da ga iskoristite,

and if you don't, maybe consider

a ako ne, možda razmislite

taking some unpaid leave for those first few months,

da uzmete neplaćeno odsustvo u tih prvih nekoliko meseci,

if your budget allows.

ako vam budžet dozvoljava.

And finally, ask yourself, what do I want?

I konačno, zapitajte se, šta ja želim?

While this may seem simple,

Ovo može delovati jednostavno,

it's the factor that feels most taboo to explore.

ali to je faktor oko kog ima najviše tabua.

In talking to parents I find that when a woman chooses to stay home,

Kada razgovaram sa roditeljima, i žena odluči da ostane kod kuće,

she often feels obligated to say

često oseća obavezu da kaže

she made this choice for her children's optimal development.

da je to odlučila zbog optimalnog razvoja svoje dece.

Which, sure, can be part of the reason,

Naravno, to može biti deo razloga,

but a perfectly acceptable answer is, "this is the lifestyle I prefer,"

ali potpuno prihvatljiv odgovor je: „Želim takav stil života,“

or "this is what works for my family."

ili „Ovako odgovara mojoj porodici.“

The same goes for the working mother.

Isto važi za majke koje rade.

Saying, "I like my job, and that's why I went back to work," is enough.

Dovoljno je reći: „Volim svoj posao i zato sam se vratila.“

If you want to go back to work, that's great.

Ako želite da se vratite na posao, sjajno.

You're lucky to have a job that you love

Srećni ste što imate posao koji volite

and you have every right to keep it once you become a parent.

i imate puno pravo da ga zadržite kada postanete roditelj.

Be honest with yourself about what you'd like to do.

Budite iskreni prema sebi u vezi s tim šta želite.

If you're upfront about that, you're guaranteed to feel happier,

Ako ste iskreni, sigurno ćete biti srećniji,

which will allow you to be the best version of a parent you can be,

a tako ćete biti najbolja verzija roditelja koja možete biti,

a zar nije to cela poenta?

and isn't that the whole point?

There is no right and wrong when it comes to parenting.

U roditeljstvu nema ispravnog i pogrešnog.

Najbolja odluka je ona

The best decision is the one

that will make you -- and your family -- the happiest.

koja će vas i vašu porodicu učiniti najsrećnijim.

Up to you to decide what's next.

Na vama je da odlučite šta je sledeće.

By acknowledging that the choice to stay home or not

Kad osvestimo da je izbor da li da radimo ili ne

is just that, a choice,

samo to, izbor,

with factors pushing you in various directions,

sa faktorima koji nas guraju u raznim pravcima,

we can ditch the guilt and enjoy doing what feels best for our families.

možemo da odbacimo krivicu i uživamo radeći u najboljem interesu porodice.