3 things new parents should consider before going back to work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

Translator: TED Translators Admin Reviewer: Hafizh Alfarisi

Waktu dulu hamil, aku sangat frustrasi.

Tak boleh makan daging olahan, harus ikut tes pralahir.

Kenapa pilih yang itu dan bukan yang lain?

Aku merasa dituntut melakukan sesuatu dan tak pernah tahu alasannya.

When I was pregnant, I just got very frustrated.

[Cara Kita Bekerja]

Don't eat deli meats, do this particular prenatal test.

(Musik)

Why did you make that choice? Why didn't you make a different choice?

Di dunia modern ini, pengasuhan anak sulit diutamakan.

I felt like I was being told to do things, and I never got the answer to why.

Jika kembali bekerja, waktu bersama anak berkurang.

Bagaimana jika mereka tak mendapat cukup perhatian?

[The Way We Work]

Jika aku tetap di rumah dan melepas pemasukan,

apakah penyesalan datang kemudian?

Sometimes in the world of modern parenting you just can't seem to win.

Ada banyak saran yang bertentangan soal tinggal di rumah atau kembali bekerja.

If I go back to work, I spend less time with my kid.

What if they don't get the attention they need to adequately develop?

Memilih salah satunya sangat membingungkan dan menguras emosi.

If I stay home and give up my income stream,

Kau mau yang terbaik untuk anak tercinta.

will I look back and regret my decision?

Tapi, bagaimana menentukan yang terbaik saat tiap orang punya opini berbeda?

There's a lot of conflicting advice out there

about whether to stay home or go back to work,

Ada beragam variasi orang tua dalam tiap rumah tangga.

so trying to make a choice between the two can be confusing and emotional.

Kurasa setiap keluarga harus mulai memikirkan

You love your kids and want what's best for them,

apakah mungkin pasangan pria tinggal di rumah.

but how do you determine what best means when everyone has a different opinion?

Namun saat ini, diskusi tentang orang tua yang tinggal di rumah

There are many variations of parents that a household can have,

diberatkan ke pasangan wanita.

Biasanya para wanita yang beranggapan bahwa yang mereka lakukan sehari-hari

and I think more families should be asking the question

of whether it makes sense for the male partner to stay home.

akan sungguh menentukan ibu dan orang macam apa mereka.

But the truth is that in the current time,

most of the discussions about stay-at-home parents

Itu beban yang cukup besar sebagai orang tua.

focus on women in particular.

Begitu kau mendapat reaksi buruk setelah mengabari akan kembali bekerja atau tidak,

And it's usually the women who say they feel

that what they do during the day is going to determine at a deep level

kepercayaan dirimu bisa goyah.

Kuputuskan untuk mencari tahu.

what kind of mom and person they are.

Sebaiknya tinggal di rumah atau kembali bekerja?

That is a huge weight to put on yourself as a parent.

Keputusan yang emosional tentunya.

Tapi, sebagai ekonom, aku sadar data bisa dipakai

And when you're met with the side-eye

after telling someone you're going back to work or not,

untuk menuntun keputusan emosional tersebut

it can poke holes in your confidence.

dan meyakinkan bahwa keputusan itu yang terbaik bagi keluarga.

I decided to dig in and find out.

Ada tiga faktor yang harus kau pertimbangkan sebelum mengambil keputusan.

Is it better to stay at home or go back to work?

It's an emotional decision, yes,

Pertama, pikirkan bagaimana keputusan ini memengaruhi keuangan keluarga.

but as an economist I've learned that we can use data

to help navigate through those emotional decisions

Mari berhitung.

Anggap pendapatan rumah tanggamu 100.000 dolar.

and feel confident we're making the best decision for our family.

Masing-masing pasangan menghasilkan 50.000 dolar.

Specifically there are three main factors you should consider before you decide.

Artinya, pendapatan kalian setelah pajak sebesar 85.000 dolar.

First, you need to think about

how this decision will affect your family budget.

Jika kau berdua bekerja dan membayar pengasuh anak 1.500 dolar per bulan,

Let's do some numbers.

Say your total household income is 100,000 dollars,

total pendapatan bersih kalian menjadi 67.000 dolar per tahun.

with you and your partner making 50,000 each.

That means you bring home about 85,000 dollars after taxes.

Sejauh ini paham?

Jika tinggal di rumah, uang berkurang, tapi tak ada biaya asuh anak.

If both of you work

and the family pays 1,500 dollars a month for childcare,

Pendapatan bersihmu memang menurun,

tapi tak sebanyak perkiraan jika tanpa adanya biaya asuh anak.

your total disposable income would be 67,000 dollars a year.

Kondisinya lebih rumit jika pengasuhan anak di tempatmu lebih mahal.

Are you with me so far?

If you decide to stay home,

Biaya pengasuh mencapai 40 ribu sampai 50 ribu dolar per tahun

your family makes less but you don't pay for childcare.

tergantung di mana kau tinggal.

Your disposable income goes down in this scenario,

Jika lingkunganmu seperti itu, maka dalam skenario tadi,

but not by as much as it would if you didn't factor in the childcare.

penghasilan salah satu pasangan akan habis tak bersisa

It becomes more complicated if childcare is more expensive in your area.

sehingga sebaiknya salah satu orang tua tinggal di rumah.

A full-time nanny can run 40, 50,000 dollars a year

Tentunya ini hanya analisis jangka pendek.

depending on where you live.

Biaya asuh kadang lebih murah jika anak sudah bersekolah.

If that's the case in your neighborhood, in the scenario I outlined,

it would completely wipe out one parent's income,

Pendapatanmu pun mungkin akan meningkat, jadi kau bisa memperhitungkan itu.

and you'd be better off financially with one parent staying home.

Setelah berhitung, kau tahu yang mungkin dan tidak

Of course, this is only a short-term analysis.

hingga bisa memutuskan pilihan yang lebih beralasan dan memberimu kendali.

Childcare is less expensive sometimes when kids are in school,

Kedua, saatnya membicarakan apa yang terbaik bagi anak.

and you may make a higher income later, so you want to factor that in if you can.

Mungkin kau kira inilah dasar keputusanmu,

tapi sebenarnya tak ada jawaban yang benar.

Once you've done the math, you'll know what's possible

and you'll be able to make a more informed choice,

Menurut penelitian dari Eropa dan AS,

which should feel empowering.

keputusan untuk kembali bekerja atau tinggal di rumah

Second, it's time to talk about what's best for your child.

tidak berpengaruh pada masa depan anak.

You may think this should be the core of your decision,

Penelitian menyebut kedua orang tua yang bekerja penuh waktu

but there's actually no right answer.

memberi dampak serupa terhadap prestasi dan pendapatan anak di masa depan

According to studies from Europe and the US,

the decision to go back to work or stay at home

seperti halnya satu orang tua yang bekerja.

Yang lebih penting adalah lingkungan tempat anak menghabiskan waktu luang.

won't actually make or break your child's future success.

Research shows that two parents working full-time

Selama anak melakukan kegiatan yang memperkaya;

has a similar effect on your child's future test scores and income

membaca; melatih keterampilan motorik; berinteraksi dengan anak lain,

to one parent working and one not.

mereka akan berkembang, terlepas kau di rumah atau tidak.

What seems to be most important is the environment

Ada sedikit variasi dalam data ini.

your child is in during their spare time.

Misalnya, studi menunjukkan bila kedua orang tua bekerja,

As long as they're engaging in enriching activities;

anak dari keluarga berkekurangan menerima dampak positif,

reading, practicing their motor skills, interacting with other kids,

they're going to thrive whether or not you're at home.

sedangkan anak dari keluarga berada kurang menerima dampak positif.

There is a bit of nuance in the data.

Tergantung susunan rumah tanggamu.

For example, studies have found,

Pengaruhnya bisa cenderung positif atau negatif,

that if both parents work,

kids from poorer families are impacted positively,

tapi dampak keseluruhan sangat minim.

Aku ingin menyampaikan satu pengecualian: cuti melahirkan.

and kids from richer families are impacted less positively.

Makin banyak bukti yang menyimpulkan bahwa bayi tumbuh lebih baik

So depending on your household configuration,

the effects on your child could be a little positive,

saat ibunya mengambil cuti melahirkan.

or a little negative,

Masa-masa awal bersama si kecil berdampak pada pertumbuhannya.

but the overall impact is negligible.

Jika kau punya hak cuti melahirkan, ambillah.

Now I want to call out an exception: maternity leave.

Jika tidak, pertimbangkan mengambil cuti tak dibayar

There is a growing body of evidence suggesting that babies do better

di bulan-bulan awal jika ada anggarannya.

when their mothers take some maternity leave.

Terakhir, tanyakan apa yang kau inginkan.

The early days with your child can impact their development,

Meski terdengar sederhana, inilah faktor yang paling enggan diperdalam.

so if you have paid leave, you should take it,

and if you don't, maybe consider

Dari diskusi, aku sadar bila wanita yang memilih tinggal di rumah

taking some unpaid leave for those first few months,

if your budget allows.

merasa diharuskan untuk mengatakan

And finally, ask yourself, what do I want?

bahwa pilihannya dibuat demi perkembangan optimal anak.

While this may seem simple,

Hal itu tentu jadi sebagian alasannya,

it's the factor that feels most taboo to explore.

tapi lebih baik lagi kalau menjawab “Ini gaya hidup yang kupilih,”

In talking to parents I find that when a woman chooses to stay home,

she often feels obligated to say

atau “Ini yang cocok untuk keluargaku.”

she made this choice for her children's optimal development.

Sama halnya bagi ibu pekerja.

Mengatakan, “Aku kembali bekerja karena aku menyukainya,” sudah cukup.

Which, sure, can be part of the reason,

Jika kau mau kembali bekerja, itu bagus.

but a perfectly acceptable answer is, "this is the lifestyle I prefer,"

Kau beruntung punya pekerjaan yang kau suka

dan kau berhak bekerja meski telah menjadi orang tua.

or "this is what works for my family."

Jujurlah terhadap keinginanmu.

The same goes for the working mother.

Saying, "I like my job, and that's why I went back to work," is enough.

Jika kau jujur, dijamin kau merasa lebih bahagia.

If you want to go back to work, that's great.

Kau pun bisa menjadi orang tua terbaik versimu sendiri

You're lucky to have a job that you love

dan bukankah itu intinya?

and you have every right to keep it once you become a parent.

Tak ada yang benar atau salah dalam cara mengasuh anak.

Be honest with yourself about what you'd like to do.

Keputusan terbaik adalah keputusan yang paling membuat kau dan keluargamu bahagia.

If you're upfront about that, you're guaranteed to feel happier,

which will allow you to be the best version of a parent you can be,

Selanjutnya terserah kau.

Dengan mengakui tinggal di rumah atau bekerja tak lebih dari pilihan semata,

and isn't that the whole point?

There is no right and wrong when it comes to parenting.

serta faktor-faktornya yang membawamu ke beragam opsi,

The best decision is the one

that will make you -- and your family -- the happiest.

kau bisa buang rasa bersalah dan menikmati melakukan yang terbaik bagi keluargamu.

Up to you to decide what's next.

By acknowledging that the choice to stay home or not

is just that, a choice,

with factors pushing you in various directions,

we can ditch the guilt and enjoy doing what feels best for our families.