3 things new parents should consider before going back to work | The Way We Work, a TED series

Transcriber: TED Translators admin

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Yanyan Hong

When I was pregnant, I just got very frustrated.

我懷孕時，感到非常沮喪。

Don't eat deli meats, do this particular prenatal test.

別吃不是現煮的肉， 要特別去做某項產前測驗。

Why did you make that choice? Why didn't you make a different choice?

你為什麽做這種選擇？ 為何不做別的選擇？

我覺得好像都是別人 告訴我要做什麼，

I felt like I was being told to do things, and I never got the answer to why.

我從來都不知道真正的理由。

[The Way We Work]

【我們工作的方式】

Sometimes in the world of modern parenting you just can't seem to win.

在現代子女教養的世界裡， 有時你似乎永遠無法十全十美。

若我回去工作， 陪孩子的時間就少了。

If I go back to work, I spend less time with my kid.

What if they don't get the attention they need to adequately develop?

若他們得不到妥善成長過程 必要的觀注怎麼辦？

If I stay home and give up my income stream,

若我留在家，放棄我的那份收入，

將來回頭看， 我會後悔這個決定嗎？

will I look back and regret my decision?

There's a lot of conflicting advice out there

對於該留在家或回去工作，

about whether to stay home or go back to work,

社會上有好多互相矛盾的意見，

so trying to make a choice between the two can be confusing and emotional.

所以要在兩者間做抉擇， 會讓你很困惑、情緒化。

You love your kids and want what's best for them,

你很愛你的孩子， 想給他們最好的，

but how do you determine what best means when everyone has a different opinion?

但如果人人的看法都不同， 你要如何決定什麼才是最好的？

There are many variations of parents that a household can have,

家庭中可能會有各式各樣的父母，

and I think more families should be asking the question

我認為，更多家庭 應該要問這個問題：

of whether it makes sense for the male partner to stay home.

由男性配偶留在家裡是否合理。

But the truth is that in the current time,

但事實是，在當代

凡是講到待在家中的家長， 通常談的都是女方。

most of the discussions about stay-at-home parents

focus on women in particular.

且通常都是女方會說她們覺得

And it's usually the women who say they feel

that what they do during the day is going to determine at a deep level

她們白天做什麼，會深深影響到

她們是怎樣的母親、怎樣的人。

what kind of mom and person they are.

That is a huge weight to put on yourself as a parent.

身為家長，這是個沉重的負擔。

And when you're met with the side-eye

在你告訴別人你是否要回去 工作後，若受到別人側目，

after telling someone you're going back to work or not,

it can poke holes in your confidence.

你的自信心可能會受到打擊。

我決定要去深入探究。

I decided to dig in and find out.

到底是留在家比較好， 還是回去工作比較好？

Is it better to stay at home or go back to work?

It's an emotional decision, yes,

沒錯，這是情緒性的決策，

but as an economist I've learned that we can use data

但身為經濟學家， 我知道我們可以用數據

to help navigate through those emotional decisions

來協助我們在情緒性的 決策中找到方向，

and feel confident we're making the best decision for our family.

並能很有信心我們能 為家庭做出最好的決策。

Specifically there are three main factors you should consider before you decide.

明確來說，在你做決策之前 應該要考量三個主要的因子。

First, you need to think about

第一，你必須想想這個決策 對你的家庭預算會有什麼影響。

how this decision will affect your family budget.

Let's do some numbers.

我們來算一下。假設 你的家庭總收入是十萬美金，

Say your total household income is 100,000 dollars,

with you and your partner making 50,000 each.

你和你的配偶一人賺五萬美金。

That means you bring home about 85,000 dollars after taxes.

那就表示扣除稅額之後， 你還能把八萬五千美金帶回家。

If both of you work

若你們兩人都工作，

and the family pays 1,500 dollars a month for childcare,

且家庭每月要花費 一千五百美金在托兒上，

your total disposable income would be 67,000 dollars a year.

你的可支配總收入就是 一年六萬七千美金。

Are you with me so far?

目前還聽得懂嗎？ 若你決定留在家，

If you decide to stay home,

你的家庭收入會減少， 但沒有托兒花費。

your family makes less but you don't pay for childcare.

在這個情況下， 你的可支配收入會減少，

Your disposable income goes down in this scenario,

但減少的量不會比 沒有考慮托兒的情況多。

but not by as much as it would if you didn't factor in the childcare.

It becomes more complicated if childcare is more expensive in your area.

若在你的區域托兒更昂貴， 情況就會更複雜了。

看你住在哪裡，全職褓姆 可能要價一年四五萬美金，

A full-time nanny can run 40, 50,000 dollars a year

depending on where you live.

If that's the case in your neighborhood, in the scenario I outlined,

如果你住的地區行情是這樣， 在我剛描述的情況中，

it would completely wipe out one parent's income,

一位家長的收入就會 完全花在托兒上，

and you'd be better off financially with one parent staying home.

從財務面來看， 一位家長留在家中會比較好。

Of course, this is only a short-term analysis.

當然，這只是短期的分析。

Childcare is less expensive sometimes when kids are in school,

有時，孩子上學之後， 托兒的費用就不會那麼高，

and you may make a higher income later, so you want to factor that in if you can.

且你將來的收入可能會更高， 可以的話也要把這點納入考量。

Once you've done the math, you'll know what's possible

等你算完了，就會知道 什麼可行、什麼不可行，

and you'll be able to make a more informed choice,

在做決策時也比較有根據， 感到有主控權。

which should feel empowering.

Second, it's time to talk about what's best for your child.

第二，該來談談 怎樣對孩子最好了。

你可能會認為 這一點是決策的核心，

You may think this should be the core of your decision,

但，其實沒有所謂的正確答案。

but there's actually no right answer.

According to studies from Europe and the US,

根據歐洲和美國的研究，

the decision to go back to work or stay at home

要回去工作或留在家裡的決策

won't actually make or break your child's future success.

其實不會造就或破壞 孩子未來的成功。

Research shows that two parents working full-time

研究指出，有兩位家長 在工作的雙薪家庭

has a similar effect on your child's future test scores and income

和一位家長工作一位不工作的家庭

對於孩子未來的 考試成績影響差不多。

to one parent working and one not.

What seems to be most important is the environment

最重要的，似乎是孩子

your child is in during their spare time.

在閒餘時間時所處的環境。

As long as they're engaging in enriching activities;

只要孩子有在從事充實的活動；

閱讀、練習動作技能、 和其他孩子互動，

reading, practicing their motor skills, interacting with other kids,

they're going to thrive whether or not you're at home.

他們就會有很好的發展， 不論你是否在家。

There is a bit of nuance in the data.

在資料中有一些細微的差別。

For example, studies have found,

比如，研究發現，

that if both parents work,

若雙親都在工作，

kids from poorer families are impacted positively,

貧窮家庭的孩子 會受到正向的影響，

and kids from richer families are impacted less positively.

富裕家庭的孩子受到的 正向影響則比較少。

So depending on your household configuration,

取決於你的家庭結構，

the effects on your child could be a little positive,

孩子受到的影響可能會 比較正向或負向一點，

or a little negative,

but the overall impact is negligible.

但整體影響是微不足道的。

Now I want to call out an exception: maternity leave.

我要提出一個例外情況：產假。

There is a growing body of evidence suggesting that babies do better

有越來越多證據指出，

母親請一些產假對寶寶會比較好。

when their mothers take some maternity leave.

The early days with your child can impact their development,

在早期和孩子相處， 會影響他們的發展，

so if you have paid leave, you should take it,

若你能請到有薪產假就應該要請，

and if you don't, maybe consider

沒有的話，也許可以考慮

taking some unpaid leave for those first few months,

在預算容許範圍內， 在前幾個月先請一些無薪假，

if your budget allows.

And finally, ask yourself, what do I want?

最後，問問自己，我想要什麼？

While this may seem simple,

這個因子看似簡單，

it's the factor that feels most taboo to explore.

感覺卻是最避諱考慮的因素。

In talking to parents I find that when a woman chooses to stay home,

我們在和父母交談時， 我發現若女性選擇留在家，

she often feels obligated to say

她通常會覺得有義務要說

she made this choice for her children's optimal development.

她是為了讓孩子 有最佳發展才做此決定。

Which, sure, can be part of the reason,

當然，這可能是一部分的理由，

but a perfectly acceptable answer is, "this is the lifestyle I prefer,"

但最能被接受的答案是 「這是我偏好的生活方式」，

or "this is what works for my family."

或「這方式對我家可行」。

The same goes for the working mother.

在工作的母親也一樣，說

Saying, "I like my job, and that's why I went back to work," is enough.

「我喜歡我的工作，那就是 我回去工作的原因」就夠了。

If you want to go back to work, that's great.

若你想要回去工作，那很棒。

You're lucky to have a job that you love

你很幸運能有一份你熱愛的工作，

and you have every right to keep it once you become a parent.

一旦成為家長， 你絕對有權保有這份工作。

Be honest with yourself about what you'd like to do.

但，要坦誠告訴你自己想要做什麼。

If you're upfront about that, you're guaranteed to feel happier,

在這點上你若能坦白， 肯定會過得更快樂，

which will allow you to be the best version of a parent you can be,

這麼一來，你就能成為 你所能做到最棒的家長，

這不就是重點所在嗎？

and isn't that the whole point?

There is no right and wrong when it comes to parenting.

在教養子女上，沒有對錯。

最好的決定就是會讓你——

The best decision is the one

that will make you -- and your family -- the happiest.

及你的家人——最快樂的決定。

Up to you to decide what's next.

接下來怎麼做，由你決定。

By acknowledging that the choice to stay home or not

要知道，選擇是否要留在家裡，

is just that, a choice,

就只是個選擇，

with factors pushing you in various directions,

會有各種因子把你推向各個方向，

we can ditch the guilt and enjoy doing what feels best for our families.

認識到這一點，我們就能抛開罪惡感，

享受我們認為對家人最好的選項。