Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse | Thomas Curran

234,055 views ใƒป 2019-04-01

TED


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

๋ฒˆ์—ญ: Miyeong Hwang ๊ฒ€ํ† : KIM Hwabum
00:12
I'm a bit of a perfectionist.
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์ €๋Š” ๋‚˜๋ฆ„ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ž์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:16
Now, how many times have you heard that one?
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋ง ๋งŽ์ด ๋“ค์–ด๋ณด์…จ๋‚˜์š”?
00:19
Over drinks, maybe, with friends, or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving.
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์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค๊ณผ์˜ ์ˆ ์ž๋ฆฌ๋‚˜ ๊ฐ€์กฑ๋“ค๊ณผ์˜ ๋ชจ์ž„์—์„œ์š”.
00:25
It's everyone's favorite flaw,
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๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ๋‹จ์ ์ด์ฃ .
00:27
it's that now quite common response
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๋ฉด์ ‘์—์„œ ์ž์ฃผ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด๋Š” ์งˆ๋ฌธ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ
00:31
to the difficult, final question at job interviews:
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ํ”ํ•œ ๋‹ต๋ณ€์ด๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•˜์ฃ .
00:36
"My biggest weakness?
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"์ €์˜ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฐ ๋‹จ์ ์ด์˜ค?"
00:38
That's my perfectionism."
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"๋ฐ”๋กœ ์ œ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ฃ ."
00:41
You see, for something that supposedly holds us back,
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๋‹จ์ ์ด์–ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ธ๋ฐ๋„
00:45
it's quite remarkable how many of us are quite happy to hold our hands up
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๋งŽ์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‹น๋‹นํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งํ•˜๊ณค ํ•˜์ฃ .
00:48
and say we're perfectionists.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ž๋ผ๊ณ ์š”.
00:51
But there's an interesting and serious point
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ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กญ์ง€๋งŒ ์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•˜๊ธฐ๋„ ํ•œ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:55
because our begrudging admiration for perfection is so pervasive
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋™๊ฒฝ์ด ๋„ˆ๋ฌด๋‚˜๋„ ๋งŒ์—ฐํ•ด์„œ
01:02
that we never really stop to question that concept in its own terms.
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์šฐ๋ฆฐ ๊ทธ ์šฉ์–ด๋ฅผ ๋ง ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ํ•ด์„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
01:06
What does it say about us and our society
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์ด๊ฒŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์™€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์‚ฌํšŒ์—๋Š” ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒƒ์ผ๊นŒ์š”.
01:10
that there is a kind of celebration in perfection?
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์€ ์ข‹์€ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ 
01:14
We tend to hold perfectionism up as an insignia of worth.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ๊ฐ€์น˜๋กœ์„œ ๊ตฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:21
The emblem of the successful.
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์„ฑ๊ณต์˜ ์ƒ์ง•์œผ๋กœ์š”.
01:25
Yet, in my time studying perfectionism,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ œ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด
01:27
I've seen limited evidence that perfectionists are more successful.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ž๋“ค์ด ๋” ์„ฑ๊ณตํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ทผ๊ฑฐ๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:31
Quite the contrary --
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๋ฐ˜๋Œ€๋กœ
01:33
they feel discontented and dissatisfied
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๋ถˆํ‰ ๋ถˆ๋งŒ์ด ๋งŽ๊ณ 
01:36
amid a lingering sense that they're never quite perfect enough.
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์ž์‹ ์ด ๊ฒฐ์ฝ” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ์ ์— ์ง‘์ฐฉํ•˜์ฃ .
01:40
We know from clinician case reports
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ๋“ค์„ ํ†ตํ•ด
01:42
that perfectionism conceals a host of psychological difficulties,
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์ด๊ฒƒ์ด ์ˆ˜๋งŽ์€ ์ •์‹  ์งˆํ™˜์˜ ์›์ธ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:45
including things like depression, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ, ๋ถˆ์•ˆ, ๊ฑฐ์‹์ฆ, ํญ์‹
01:49
and even suicide ideation.
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์‹ฌ์ง€์–ด ์ž์‚ด ์ถฉ๋™ ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์š”.
01:52
And what's more worrying is that over the last 25 years,
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๋” ๊ฑฑ์ •๋˜๋Š” ๊ฑด, ์ง€๋‚œ 25๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ
01:56
we have seen perfectionism rise at an alarming rate.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๊ฐ€ ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ์†๋„๋กœ ์ฆ๊ฐ€ ์ค‘์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:00
And at the same time,
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๊ทธ์™€ ๋™์‹œ์—
02:01
we have seen more mental illness among young people than ever before.
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์ฒญ๋…„์ธต์˜ ์ •์‹  ์งˆํ™˜๋„ ๋” ๋งŽ์ด ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌ๋˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์ฃ .
02:05
Rates of suicide in the US alone
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๋ฏธ๊ตญ์—์„œ๋งŒ ์ž์‚ด๋ฅ ์ด
02:08
increased by 25 percent across the last two decades.
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์ง€๋‚œ 20๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ 25% ๋†’์•„์กŒ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:12
And we're beginning to see similar trends emerge across Canada,
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๋น„์Šทํ•œ ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์บ๋‚˜๋‹ค ๋ฐ
02:15
and in my home country, the United Kingdom.
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์ œ ๋ชจ๊ตญ์ธ ์˜๊ตญ์—์„œ๋„ ๋ชฉ๊ฒฉ๋˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:18
Now, our research is suggesting
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์ €ํฌ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด
02:21
that perfectionism is rising as society is changing.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋Š” ์‚ฌํšŒ๊ฐ€ ๋ณ€ํ™”ํ•จ์— ๋”ฐ๋ผ ์ฆ๊ฐ€ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
02:25
And a changed society reflects a changed sense of personal identity
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๋ณ€ํ™”๋œ ์‚ฌํšŒ๋Š” ๋ณ€ํ™”๋œ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ •์ฒด์„ฑ์„ ๋‚˜ํƒ€๋‚ด๊ณ 
02:30
and, with it, differences in the way in which young people interact
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์ Š์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ์†Œํ†ตํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹ ์—ญ์‹œ
02:34
with each other and the world around them.
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๋‹ฌ๋ผ์กŒ์Œ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ฃผ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:36
And there are some unique characteristics about our preeminent, market-based society
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๋˜ํ•œ ์‹œ์žฅ ๋…ผ๋ฆฌ์— ๊ธฐ๋ฐ˜์„ ๋‘” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์‚ฌํšŒ ๋งŒ์˜ ํŠน์ง•์ด ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
02:42
that include things like unrestricted choice
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๋ฌด์ œํ•œ์ ์ธ ์„ ํƒ๊ณผ
02:44
and personal freedom,
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๊ฐœ์ธ์˜ ์ž์œ  ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ ๋“ค์ด์ฃ .
02:46
and these are characteristics that we feel are contributing
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์ €ํฌ๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ๊ฒƒ์ด ์ด ํ˜„์ƒ์„ ๋งค์šฐ ์œ„ํ—˜ํ•œ ์ˆ˜์ค€๊นŒ์ง€
02:49
to almost epidemic levels of this problem.
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๋Œ์–ด ์˜ฌ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:53
So let me give you an example.
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์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๋‚˜ ๋“ค์–ด ๋ณด์ฃ .
02:56
Young people today are more preoccupied with the attainment of the perfect life
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์š”์ฆ˜ ์ Š์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์‚ถ์ด๋ผ๋Š”๊ฒƒ์— ๋” ๋งŽ์ด
03:00
and lifestyle.
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์ง‘์ฐฉํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ์š”.
03:01
In terms of their image, status and wealth.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ด๊ฑด, ์‚ฌํšŒ์ ์ง€์œ„์™€ ๋ถ€์ด์ฃ .
03:03
Data from Pew show that young people
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Pew ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์†Œ์˜ ์ž๋ฃŒ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด
03:08
born in the US in the late 1980s
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80๋…„๋Œ€ ํ›„๋ฐ˜ ๋ฏธ๊ตญ์—์„œ ํƒœ์–ด๋‚œ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์€
03:12
are 20 percent more likely to report being materially rich
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๊ทธ ์ด์ „ ์„ธ๋Œ€์™€ ๋น„๊ตํ•ด์„œ ๋ฌผ์งˆ์  ํ’์š”๋กœ์›€์ด
03:17
as among their most important life goals,
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์ธ์ƒ์˜ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋ชฉํ‘œ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋น„์œจ์ด
03:19
relative to their parents and their grandparents.
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20%๋‚˜ ๋” ๋œ๋‹ค๊ณ  ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:22
Young people also borrow more heavily than did older generations,
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์ „ ์„ธ๋Œ€๋ณด๋‹ค ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๋นš์„ ์ง€๊ณ 
03:25
and they spend a much greater proportion of their income on image goods
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์ˆ˜์ž…์˜ ๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์„ ๊ฐœ์ธ ์ด๋ฏธ์ง€์™€ ์‚ฌํšŒ์ ์ง€์œ„๋ฅผ ์œ„ํ•œ
03:30
and status possessions.
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์†Œ์œ ๋ฌผ์— ์ง€์ถœํ•ด์š”.
03:31
These possessions, their lives and their lifestyles
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์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์†Œ์œ ๋ฌผ๋“ค, ์‚ถ, ์‚ด์•„๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์€
03:36
are now displayed in vivid detail on the ubiquitous social media platforms
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์˜ค๋Š˜๋‚  ์†Œ์…œ๋ฏธ๋””์–ด๋ฅผ ํ†ตํ•ด ์ƒ์ƒํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ง€๊ฒŒ ๋˜์ฃ .
03:40
of Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat.
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์ธ์Šคํƒ€๊ทธ๋žจ, ํŽ˜์ด์Šค๋ถ, ์Šค๋ƒ…์ฑ—
03:44
In this new visual culture,
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ์‹œ๊ฐ์  ๋ฌธํ™”์—์„œ๋Š”
03:47
the appearance of perfection is far more important than the reality.
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๊ฒ‰๋ชจ์Šต์˜ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์ด ํ˜„์‹ค๋ณด๋‹ค ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜์ฃ .
03:54
If one side of the modern landscape
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด๋‚˜ ๋‹น์—ฐํ•œ๋“ฏ์ด
03:57
that we have so lavishly furnished for young people
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์ Š์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์„ธ๋‡Œ ์‹œํ‚จ ๊ฒƒ ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š”
04:00
is this idea that there's a perfectible life
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์ธ์ƒ์ด๋ž€ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์žˆ๊ณ 
04:02
and that there's a perfectible lifestyle,
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์‚ถ์˜ ๋ฐฉ์‹์ด ์กด์žฌํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”.
04:04
then the other is surely work.
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์ผ๊ณผ ๊ด€๋ จํ•ด์„œ๋„ ๋งˆ์ฐฌ๊ฐ€์ง€์˜ˆ์š”.
04:06
Nothing is out of reach for those who want it badly enough.
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"๊ฐ„์ ˆํ•œ ์ด์—๊ฒŒ ๋ถˆ๊ฐ€๋Šฅ์ด๋ž€ ์—†๋‹ค."
04:10
Or so we're told.
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๋ผ๊ณ  ๋ฐฐ์›Œ์™”์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:11
This is the idea at the heart of the American dream.
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๋ฐ”๋กœ ์•„๋ฉ”๋ฆฌ์นธ ๋“œ๋ฆผ์˜ ํ•ต์‹ฌ์ด์ฃ .
04:15
Opportunity, meritocracy, the self-made person, hard work.
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๊ธฐํšŒ, ์‹ค๋ ฅ์ฃผ์˜, ์ž์ˆ˜์„ฑ๊ฐ€, ๋…ธ๋ ฅ
04:20
The notion that hard work always pays off.
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๋…ธ๋ ฅ์€ ์–ธ์  ๊ฐ€ ๋ณด์ƒ๋ฐ›๋Š”๋‹ค๋Š” ์ธ์‹.
04:23
And above all, the idea that we're captains of our own destiny.
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์ž์‹ ์˜ ์šด๋ช…์„ ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ๊ฐœ์ฒ™ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ
04:27
These ideas, they connect our wealth, our status
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ์‹ ๋…๋“ค์€ ๋ถ€, ์‚ฌํšŒ์  ์ง์œ„
04:30
and our image with our innate, personal value.
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์ด๋ฏธ์ง€๋ฅผ ๊ฐœ์ธ์˜ ๋ณธ์งˆ์  ๊ฐ€์น˜์™€ ์—ฐ๊ฒฐ์‹œํ‚ต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:35
But it is, of course, complete fiction.
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๋ฌผ๋ก , ์™„์ „ํžˆ ์†Œ์„ค์ผ ๋ฟ์ด์ฃ .
04:37
Because even if there were equality of opportunity,
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๊ธฐํšŒ๊ฐ€ ๊ท ๋“ฑํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ฃผ์–ด์ง„๋‹ค ํ• ์ง€๋ผ๋„
04:40
the idea that we are captains of our own destiny
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์šด๋ช…์„ ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ๊ฐœ์ฒ™ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ฏฟ์Œ์€
04:43
disguises a much darker reality for young people
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์‚ฌํšŒ์˜ ๋Š์ž„์—†๋Š” ํ‰๊ฐ€์˜ ๋Œ€์ƒ์ด๋ผ๋Š”
04:46
that they are subject to an almost ongoing economic tribunal.
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์–ด๋‘์šด ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ์ฒ ์ €ํžˆ ๊ฐ์ถ”๊ณ  ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
04:49
Metrics, rankings, lead tables
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๊ณ„๋Ÿ‰ํ™”, ์ˆœ์œ„, ์„ ํ–‰์ง€ํ‘œ ๋“ฑ์€
04:52
have emerged as the yardsticks for which merit can be quantified
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ํ•™์—… ๋Šฅ๋ ฅ์„ ๊ณ„๋Ÿ‰ํ™”ํ•˜๋Š” ์ฒ™๋„๋กœ์„œ ์‚ฌ์šฉ๋˜๊ณ 
04:55
and used to sort young people into schools, classes and colleges.
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์•„์ด๋“ค์ด ์–ด๋–ค ํ•™๊ต, ๋ฐ˜, ๋Œ€ํ•™์— ๊ฐˆ์ง€ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•˜์ฃ .
05:01
Education is the first arena
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๊ต์œก์€ ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ ์‹œํ—˜์žฅ์œผ๋กœ
05:03
where measurement is so publicly played out
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๋งค์šฐ ๊ณต๊ฐœ์ ์ธ ํ‰๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์ด๋ฃจ์–ด์ง€๊ณ 
05:06
and where metrics are being used
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๊ณ„๋Ÿ‰ํ™”๊ฐ€ ์ด๋ฃจ์–ด์ง€์ฃ .
05:08
as a tool to improve standards and performance.
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๋Šฅ๋ ฅ๊ณผ ์ˆ˜์ค€ ํ–ฅ์ƒ์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ๋„๊ตฌ๋กœ์„œ ๋ง์ด์—์š”.
05:12
And it starts young.
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์–ด๋ฆด ๋•Œ ์‹œ์ž‘๋˜๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
05:14
Young people in America's big city high schools
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๋ฏธ๊ตญ ๋Œ€๋„์‹œ์˜ ๊ณ ๋“ฑํ•™์ƒ๋“ค์€
05:17
take some 112 mandatory standardized tests
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์น˜๋Ÿฌ์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š” ์‹œํ—˜์ด 112๊ฐœ์— ๋‹ฌํ•ด์š”.
05:22
between prekindergarten and the end of 12th grade.
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์œ ์น˜์›๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•ด ๊ณ ๋“ฑํ•™๊ต๋ฅผ ๋งˆ์น  ๋•Œ๊นŒ์ง€์š”.
05:26
No wonder young people report a strong need to strive,
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์ด๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ๋†€๋ผ์šด ์ผ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ์ฃ . ์ Š์€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๋„
05:28
perform and achieve at the center of modern life.
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๋…ธ๋ ฅ, ์„ฑ๊ณผ, ๋ชฉํ‘œ ๋‹ฌ์„ฑ์— ๋ชฉ๋งค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€์š”.
05:31
They've been conditioned to define themselves
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๊ทธ๋“ค ์ž์‹ ์„ ์ฆ๋ช…ํ•˜๋„๋ก ๊ฐ•์š”๋ฐ›์•„ ์˜จ ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”.
05:34
in the strict and narrow terms of grades, percentiles and lead tables.
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์ œํ•œ์ ์ด๊ณ  ํŽธํ˜‘ํ•œ ์žฃ๋Œ€์ธ ์ ์ˆ˜, ๋“ฑ์œ„, ์„ ํ–‰ํ‘œ ๋“ฑ์œผ๋กœ์š”.
05:42
This is a society that preys on their insecurities.
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์ด ์‚ฌํšŒ๋Š” ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์˜ ๋ถˆ์•ˆํ•จ์„ ์ด์šฉํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:46
Insecurities about how they are performing
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์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์„ฑ๊ณผ๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€
05:48
and how they are appearing to other people.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์—ฌ์งˆ์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ฐ์„์š”.
05:50
This is a society that amplifies their imperfections.
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๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ๋ถˆ์™„์ „ํ•จ์„ ๊ฐ•์กฐํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌํšŒ์ธ ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
05:54
Every flaw, every unforeseen setback
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๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒฐ์ , ๋ชจ๋“  ์ขŒ์ ˆ์€
05:57
increases a need to perform more perfectly next time, or else,
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๋‹ค์Œ์—” ๋” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ˆ˜ํ–‰ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ์••๋ฐ•์„ ์ฃผ๊ณ 
06:02
bluntly, you're a failure.
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์‹คํŒจ์ž๋กœ ๋‚™์ธ์„ ์ฐ์ฃ .
06:05
That feeling of being flawed and deficient is especially pervasive --
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์ž์‹ ์ด ๋ถ€์กฑํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋Š” ํ’์กฐ๊ฐ€ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ๋งŒ์—ฐํ•œ์ง€
06:08
just talk to young people.
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์ Š์€์ด๋“ค๊ณผ ์–˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
06:10
"How should I look, how should I behave?"
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"์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์—ฌ์•ผ ํ• ๊นŒ, ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ํ–‰๋™ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋‚˜?"
06:12
"I should look like that model,
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"์ € ๋ชจ๋ธ์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๋ณด์—ฌ์•ผ ํ•ด."
06:14
I should have as many followers as that Instagram influencer,
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"์ € ์ธ์Šคํƒ€๊ทธ๋žจ ์Šคํƒ€์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ํŒ”๋กœ์›Œ๊ฐ€ ๋งŽ์•„์•ผ ํ•ด."
06:17
I must do better in school."
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"ํ•™๊ต์—์„œ ๋” ์ž˜๋‚˜๊ฐ€์•ผ ํ•ด."
06:20
In my role as mentor to many young people,
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์ €๋Š” ๋งŽ์€ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์กฐ์–ธ์„ ํ•ด์ฃผ๋ฉด์„œ
06:24
I see these lived effects of perfectionism firsthand.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์˜ ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ์ง์ ‘ ๋ณด๊ณค ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:28
And one student sticks out in my mind very vividly.
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ํ•œ ํ•™์ƒ์ด ์ œ ๊ธฐ์–ต์†์— ์•„์ฃผ ๋˜๋ ทํ•œ๋ฐ์š”.
06:32
John, not his real name, was ambitious,
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'์กด', ์‹ค๋ช…์€ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋Š” ์•ผ๋ง์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ์š”.
06:36
hardworking and diligent
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์„ฑ์‹คํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•˜๋Š”
06:37
and on the surface, he was exceptionally high-achieving,
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๊ฒ‰์œผ๋กœ๋Š”, ์•„์ฃผ ์šฐ์ˆ˜ํ•œ ํ•™์ƒ์ด์—ˆ์ฃ .
06:40
often getting first-class grades for his work.
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๋ชจ๋“  ๊ณผ๋ชฉ์—์„œ 1๋“ฑ๊ธ‰์ด์—ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
06:43
Yet, no matter how well John achieved,
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์•„๋ฌด๋ฆฌ ์ž˜ ํ•ด๋„
06:47
he always seemed to recast his successes as abject failures,
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ํ•ญ์ƒ ์„ฑ๊ณต์„ ์‹คํŒจ๋กœ ๊นŽ์•„๋‚ด๋ฆฌ๊ณค ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
06:50
and in meetings with me,
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์ €์™€ ๋งŒ๋‚˜ ์–˜๊ธฐํ•  ๋•Œ๋ฉด
06:51
he would talk openly about how he'd let himself and others down.
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์ž์‹ ๊ณผ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์‹ค๋ง์‹œํ‚ค๋Š”์ง€ ํ„ธ์–ด๋†“๊ณค ํ–ˆ์ฃ .
06:55
John's justification was quite simple:
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'์กด' ์˜ ํ•ด๋ช…์€ ๋งค์šฐ ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
06:57
How could he be a success
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"์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ด๊ฒŒ ์„ฑ๊ณต์ผ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‚˜?"
07:00
when he was trying so much harder than other people
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๋‚จ๋“ค๋ณด๋‹ค ํ›จ์”ฌ ๋” ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ–ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
07:02
just to attain the same outcomes?
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๊ฒฐ๊ณผ๋Š” ๋‚จ๋“ค๊ณผ ๋น„์Šทํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
07:04
See, John's perfectionism, his unrelenting work ethic,
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๊ทธ์˜ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜, ๋Š์ž„์—†๋Š” ๊ทผ๋ฉดํ•จ์€
07:09
was only serving to expose what he saw as his inner weakness
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๋ณธ์ธ ๋‚ด๋ฉด์˜ ์•ฝ์ ์„ ๋“œ๋Ÿฌ๋‚ผ ๋ฟ์ด์—ˆ์ฃ .
07:13
to himself and to others.
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์ž์‹ ๊ณผ ๋‚จ๋“ค ๋ชจ๋‘์—๊ฒŒ์š”.
07:16
Cases like John's speak to the harmfulness of perfectionism
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'์กด'๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์€ ์‚ฌ๋ก€๋“ค์€ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์˜ ํ•ด๋กœ์›€์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:19
as a way of being in the world.
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์„ธ์ƒ์„ ์‚ด์•„๊ฐ€๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹์œผ๋กœ์„œ ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
07:21
Contrary to popular belief,
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ํ”ํžˆ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ๊ณผ ๋‹ค๋ฅด๊ฒŒ
07:23
perfectionism is never about perfecting things or perfecting tasks.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋Š” ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ฒŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ์—์š”.
07:27
It's not about striving for excellence.
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์ตœ์„ ์„ ์œ„ํ•ด ์• ์“ฐ๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ์•„๋‹ˆ์ฃ .
07:30
John's case highlights this vividly.
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'์กด'์˜ ์‚ฌ๋ก€๊ฐ€ ์ด๋ฅผ ์ƒ์ƒํžˆ ๋ณด์—ฌ์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:32
At its root, perfectionism is about perfecting the self.
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๊ทธ ๊ทผ๋ณธ์—๋Š”, ์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š”๋ฐ ์žˆ์ฃ .
07:37
Or, more precisely, perfecting an imperfect self.
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๋” ์ •ํ™•ํ•˜๊ฒŒ๋Š”, ๋ถˆ์™„์ „ํ•œ ์ž์‹ ์„์š”.
07:41
And you can think about it like a mountain of achievement
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์ด๊ฑด ๋งˆ์น˜ ์‚ฐ์„ ์˜ค๋ฅด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๊ณผ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:45
that perfectionism leads us to imagine ourselves scaling.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋Š” ๊ทธ ์‚ฐ์— ์˜ค๋ฅด๋Š” ์ƒ์ƒ์„ ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋งŒ๋“ค์ฃ .
07:48
And we think to ourselves, "Once I've reached that summit,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜์ฃ . "์ € ์ •์ƒ์— ์˜ค๋ฅด๊ธฐ๋งŒ ํ•˜๋ฉด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์€
07:51
then people will see I'm not flawed, and I'll be worth something."
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๋‚˜๋ฅผ ๊ฒฐ์ ์ด ์—†๋Š” ๋Œ€๋‹จํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์œผ๋กœ ๋ด์ค„๊ฑฐ์•ผ." ๋ผ๊ณ 
07:55
But what perfectionism doesn't tell us
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ„๊ณผํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑด
07:57
is that soon after reaching that summit,
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๊ทธ ์ •์ƒ์— ๋„๋‹ฌํ•˜๋Š” ์ˆœ๊ฐ„
07:59
we will be called down again to the fresh lowlands of insecurity and shame,
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๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ณผ ์ˆ˜์น˜๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋“ํ•œ ๋ฐ‘๋ฐ”๋‹ฅ์œผ๋กœ ๋‹ค์‹œ ๋‚ด๋ ค์˜ค๊ฒŒ ๋˜๊ณ 
08:03
just to try and scale that peak again.
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๊ทธ ์ •์ƒ์— ๋‹ค์‹œ ์˜ฌ๋ผ์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
08:06
This is the cycle of self-defeat.
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์ž๊ธฐ ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋Š์ž„์—†์ด ๊ณ ๋ฌธํ•˜๋Š”๊ฑฐ์—์š”.
08:08
In the pursuit of unattainable perfection, a perfectionist just cannot step off.
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์ด๋ฃฐ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋Š” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์˜ ์ถ”๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฉˆ์ถœ ์ˆ˜๊ฐ€ ์—†๋Š” ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
08:13
And it's why it's so difficult to treat.
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์ด๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์น˜๋ฃŒ๊ฐ€ ์–ด๋ ค์šด ์ด์œ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:16
Now, we've known for decades and decades
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ง€๋‚œ ์ˆ˜์‹ญ ๋…„๊ฐ„ ์ด๋ฏธ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์–ด์š”.
08:18
that perfectionism contributes to a host of psychological problems,
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๊ฐ€ ๋งŽ์€ ์ •์‹  ์งˆํ™˜์˜ ์›์ธ์ด๋ž€ ๊ฑธ์š”.
08:21
but there was never a good way to measure it.
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜ ์ง€์ˆ˜ ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฑด ์—†์—ˆ์ฃ .
08:24
That was until the late 1980s
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1980๋…„๋Œ€ ํ›„๋ฐ˜์— ๋“œ๋””์–ด
08:25
when two Canadians, Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett,
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'ํด ํœด์ž‡'๊ณผ '๊ณ ๋“  ํ”Œ๋žซ'์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋‘ ์บ๋‚˜๋‹ค์ธ๋“ค์ด
08:28
came along and developed a self-report measure of perfectionism.
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋ฅผ ์Šค์Šค๋กœ ์ธก์ •ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:32
So that's right, folks, you can measure this,
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๋งž์•„์š”, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”๋ฐ
08:35
and it essentially captures three core elements of perfectionism.
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๊ธฐ๋ณธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์˜ ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์œ ํ˜•์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด์„œ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:40
The first is self-oriented perfectionism,
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์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ์ž๊ธฐ์ง€ํ–ฅ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋กœ
08:42
the irrational desire to be perfect:
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•ด ์ง€๋ ค๋Š” ๋น„ํ•ฉ๋ฆฌ์ ์ธ ์š•๋ง
08:45
"I strive to be as perfect as I can be."
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"๋‚œ ์ตœ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•ด์ง€๋ ค๊ณ  ๋…ธ๋ ฅํ•ด."
08:48
The second is socially prescribed perfectionism,
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๋‘ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ์‚ฌํšŒ๋ถ€๊ณผ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋กœ
08:51
the sense that the social environment is excessively demanding:
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์‚ฌํšŒ ํ™˜๊ฒฝ์ด ๋งŽ์€ ์š”๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:55
"I feel that others are too demanding of me."
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"์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋‚ด๊ฒŒ ๋„ˆ๋ฌด ๋งŽ์€ ๊ฑธ ๋ฐ”๋ž˜."
08:57
And the third is other-oriented perfectionism,
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์„ธ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋Š” ํƒ€์ธ์ง€ํ–ฅ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋กœ
09:00
the imposition of unrealistic standards on other people:
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ํƒ€์ธ์—๊ฒŒ ๋น„ํ˜„์‹ค์  ๊ธฐ์ค€์„ ๊ฐ•์š”ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์ฃ .
09:02
"If I ask somebody to do something, I expect it to be done perfectly."
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"๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€์—๊ฒŒ ๋ญ˜ ๋ถ€ํƒํ•˜๋ฉด, ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์ฃผ๊ธธ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€ํ•ด."
09:07
Now, research shows that all three elements of perfectionism
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์—ฐ๊ตฌ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅด๋ฉด ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์˜ ์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์œ ํ˜• ๋ชจ๋‘
09:09
associate with compromised mental health,
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์ •์‹  ๊ฑด๊ฐ•์— ํ•ด๋กœ์šด ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ๋ฏธ์น˜๋Š”๋ฐ
09:11
including things like heightened depression,
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์šฐ์šธ์ฆ์„ ์‹ฌํ™” ์‹œํ‚จ๋‹ค๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
09:13
heightened anxiety and suicide ideation.
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๋ถˆ์•ˆ ์ฆ์„ธ์™€ ์ž์‚ด ์ถฉ๋™ ๋“ฑ์„ ๋†’์ด์ฃ .
09:15
But, by far, the most problematic element of perfectionism
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ ์ค‘ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ๋ฌธ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฑด
09:18
is socially prescribed perfectionism.
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์‚ฌํšŒ๋ถ€๊ณผ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:20
That sense that everyone expects me to be perfect.
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๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•˜๊ธธ ๋ฐ”๋ž€๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด์ฃ .
09:24
This element of perfectionism
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์ด ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜ ์œ ํ˜•์€
09:25
has a large correlation with serious mental illness.
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์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•œ ์ •์‹ ์งˆํ™˜๋“ค๊ณผ ๋งŽ์€ ๊ด€๋ จ์„ฑ์ด ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
09:28
And with today's emphasis on perfection at the forefront of my mind,
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์„ ๊ฐ•์กฐํ•˜๋Š” ์˜ค๋Š˜๋‚ ์˜ ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ค ๋ณด๋‹ˆ
09:34
I was curious to see whether these elements of perfectionism were changing.
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์ด ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜ ์œ ํ˜•๋“ค์ด ๋ณ€ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ๊ถ๊ธˆํ–ˆ๋Š”๋ฐ์š”.
09:37
To date, research in this area is focused on immediate family relations,
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์ง€๊ธˆ๊นŒ์ง€์˜ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ๋Š” ์ง๊ณ„ ๊ฐ€์กฑ ๊ด€๊ณ„์— ์ง‘์ค‘๋˜์—ˆ์ง€๋งŒ
09:41
but we wanted to look at it at a broader level.
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์ข€ ๋” ํฌ๊ด„์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋ณด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:44
So we took all of the data that had ever been collected
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ๊ทธ๋™์•ˆ ์ˆ˜์ง‘ํ•œ ๋ชจ๋“  ๋ฐ์ดํ„ฐ,
09:47
in the 27 years since Paul and Gordon developed that perfectionism measure,
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'ํด'๊ณผ '๊ณ ๋“ '์˜ ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜ ์ธก์ •๋ฒ• ์ดํ›„ 27๋…„ ๋™์•ˆ ๋ชจ์€ ๊ฒƒ์ด์ฃ ,
09:52
and we isolated the data in college students.
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๊ทธ ๋ฐ์ดํ„ฐ์—์„œ ๋Œ€ํ•™์ƒ๋“ค๋งŒ ๋”ฐ๋กœ ๋ชจ์•„๋ดค์–ด์š”.
09:54
This turned out to be more than 40,000 young people
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4๋งŒ ๋ช…์ด ๋„˜๋Š” ์ Š์€
09:57
from American, Canadian and British colleges,
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๋ฏธ๊ตญ, ์บ๋‚˜๋‹ค, ์˜๊ตญ์˜ ๋Œ€ํ•™์ƒ๋“ค์ด์š”.
09:59
and with so much data available, we looked to see if there was a trend.
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์ด ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ์–‘์˜ ๋ฐ์ดํ„ฐ์—์„œ ์–ด๋–ค ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€ ์‚ดํˆ์ฃ .
10:04
And in all, it took us more than three years
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๋ชจ๋‘ ํ•ฉ์ณ 3๋…„์ด ๋„˜๊ฒŒ ๊ฑธ๋ ธ๊ณ 
10:06
to collate all of this information, crunch the numbers,
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์ž๋ฃŒ๋“ค์„ ์ˆ˜์ง‘ํ•˜๊ณ , ์ˆ˜์น˜๋ฅผ ๋”ฐ์ ธ
10:09
and write our report.
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๋ณด๊ณ ์„œ๋ฅผ ์ž‘์„ฑํ–ˆ์ฃ .
10:10
But it was worth it because our analysis uncovered something alarming.
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๊ฐ€์น˜๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋Š” ์ผ์ด์—ˆ์–ด์š”. ํฐ ๋ฌธ์ œ์ ์„ ๋ฐœ๊ฒฌํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋๋Š”๋ฐ
10:15
All three elements of perfectionism have increased over time.
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์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€ ์œ ํ˜• ๋ชจ๋‘ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฉฐ ์ฆ๊ฐ€ํ•ด์™”๊ณ 
10:19
But socially prescribed perfectionism saw the largest increase, and by far.
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๊ทธ์ค‘ ์‚ฌํšŒ๋ถ€๊ณผ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๊ฐ€ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ๋งŽ์ด ์ฆ๊ฐ€ํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์ฃ .
10:24
In 1989,
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1989๋…„์—๋Š”,
10:25
just nine percent of young people report clinically relevant levels
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9%์˜ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค๋งŒ์ด ์‚ฌํšŒ๋ถ€๊ณผ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ž ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์„ ๋‚˜ํƒ€๋ƒˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:29
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
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10:30
Those are levels that we might typically see in clinical populations.
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์ด๊ฒŒ ์ผ๋ฐ˜์ ์ธ ์ž„์ƒ ์ง‘๋‹จ์—์„œ ๋‚˜ํƒ€๋‚˜๋Š” ์ˆ˜์น˜์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:35
By 2017, that figure had doubled to 18 percent.
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2017๋…„๊นŒ์ง€, ๊ทธ ์ˆ˜์น˜๋Š” ๋‘ ๋ฐฐ๋กœ ๋Š˜์–ด 18%๊ฐ€ ๋๊ณ 
10:40
And by 2050, projections based on the models that we tested
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2050๋…„๊นŒ์ง€, ์ง€๊ธˆ๊นŒ์ง€์˜ ์‹คํ—˜ ๋Œ€์ƒ์„ ๊ธฐ๋ฐ˜์œผ๋กœ ํ•˜๋ฉด
10:44
indicate that almost one in three young people
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๊ฑฐ์˜ ์„ธ ๋ช…์˜ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค ์ค‘ ํ•œ ๋ช…์ด
10:46
will report clinically relevant levels of socially prescribed perfectionism.
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์‚ฌํšŒ๋ถ€๊ณผ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜์ž๊ฐ€ ๋  ๊ฑฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ์˜ˆ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:51
Remember, this is the element of perfectionism
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๋‹ค์‹œ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ, ์‚ฌํšŒ๋ถ€๊ณผ์  ์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜ ์œ ํ˜•์ด
10:53
that has the largest correlation with serious mental illness,
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์‹ฌ๊ฐํ•œ ์ •์‹ ์งˆํ™˜๊ณผ์˜ ์—ฐ๊ด€์„ฑ์ด ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:56
and that's for good reason.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ๋Š” ์ด์œ ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:58
Socially prescribed perfectionists feel a unrelenting need
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์ด๋“ค์€ ๋Š์ž„์—†์ด ๋ถ€๋‹ด์„ ๊ฐ€์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:01
to meet the expectations of other people.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์ด๋“ค์˜ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€์— ๋ถ€์‘ํ•˜๋ ค๊ณ ์š”.
11:04
And even if they do meet yesterday's expectation of perfection,
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์–ด์ œ์˜ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€๋ฅผ ์ถฉ์กฑํ• ์ง€๋ผ๋„
11:08
they then raise the bar on themselves to an even higher degree
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๊ทธ ๋‹ค์Œ์—๋Š” ์ž์‹ ์˜ ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€์น˜๋ฅผ ๊ทธ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋” ์˜ฌ๋ ค ๋ฒ„๋ฆฌ์ฃ .
11:12
because these folks believe that the better they do,
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์™œ๋ƒํ•˜๋ฉด ์ด ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์€ ๋” ์ž˜ํ• ์ˆ˜๋ก
11:15
the better that they're expected to do.
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๋” ๋งŽ์€ ๊ธฐ๋Œ€๋ฅผ ๋ฐ›๋Š”๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:18
This breeds a profound sense of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ๋ฌด๋ ฅ๊ฐ๊ณผ ์ ˆ๋ง๊ฐ์˜ ์›์ฒœ์ด ๋˜์ฃ .
11:24
But is there hope?
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ํฌ๋ง์ด ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
11:26
Of course there's hope.
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๋‹น์—ฐํžˆ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:27
Perfectionists can and should hold on to certain things --
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€์— ์˜์ง€๋ฅผ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ , ํ•ด์•ผ๋งŒ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:30
they are typically bright, ambitious, conscientious and hardworking.
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์ด๋“ค์€ ๋ณดํ†ต ๋ฐ๊ณ , ์•ผ์‹ฌ์ ์ด๋ฉฐ ์–‘์‹ฌ์ ์ด๊ณ , ๊ทผ๋ฉดํ•จ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:35
And yes, treatment is complex.
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๋„ค, ์น˜๋ฃŒ๋Š” ๋ณต์žกํ•ด์š”.
11:38
But a little bit of self-compassion,
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๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€๋งŒ ์•ฝ๊ฐ„์˜ ์ž๊ธฐ์—ฐ๋ฏผ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ 
11:41
going easy on ourselves when things don't go well,
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์ผ์ด ์ž˜ ์•ˆํ’€๋ฆด๊ฒฝ์šฐ์—๋Š” ์Šค์Šค๋กœ๋ฅผ ์กฐ๊ธˆ ๋Š์Šจํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋ฉด
11:43
can turn those qualities into greater personal peace and success.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์žฅ์ ๋“ค์„ ๋‚ด๋ฉด์˜ ์•ˆ์ •๊ณผ ์„ฑ๊ณต์— ์“ธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
11:47
And then there's what we can do as caregivers.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ณดํ˜ธ์ž๋กœ์„œ ํ•ด์•ผํ•  ์ผ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:50
Perfectionism develops in our formative years,
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜ ์„ฑํ–ฅ์€ ์ธ๊ฒฉํ˜•์„ฑ๊ธฐ์— ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์ง€๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
11:53
and so young people are more vulnerable.
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์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์ด ํ›จ์”ฌ ์ทจ์•ฝํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:56
Parents can help their children
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๋ถ€๋ชจ๋“ค์ด ์ž๋…€๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์ค„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€
11:57
by supporting them unconditionally when they've tried but failed.
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์‹คํŒจํ–ˆ์„์ง€๋ผ๋„ ๋ฌด์กฐ๊ฑด์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ง€์ง€ํ•ด์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:02
And Mom and Dad can resist their understandable urge
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜๋“ค์€ ์˜ค๋Š˜๋‚  ์น˜์—ดํ•œ ๊ฒฝ์Ÿ์‚ฌํšŒ์—์„œ
12:04
in today's highly competitive society to helicopter-parent,
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๊ณผ๋ณดํ˜ธํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€ ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋กœ์„œ์˜ ์ถฉ๋™์„ ์ฐธ์•„๋‚ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:09
as a lot of anxiety is communicated
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๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜๋“ค์€ ๋งŽ์€ ๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ฐ์„ ๋ณด์—ฌ์š”.
12:12
when parents take on their kids' successes and failures as their own.
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์ž์‹๋“ค์˜ ์„ฑ๊ณต๊ณผ ์‹คํŒจ๋ฅผ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์ฑ…์ž„์œผ๋กœ ๋ฐ›์•„ ๋“ค์ด์ฃ .
12:16
But ultimately, our research raises important questions
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๊ถ๊ทน์ ์œผ๋กœ, ์ €ํฌ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ๋Š” ๋งค์šฐ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋ฅผ ์ œ๊ธฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:19
about how we are structuring society
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์‚ฌํšŒ๋ฅผ ์ •๋ฆฝํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ์‹
12:22
and whether our society's heavy emphasis on competition, evaluation and testing
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๊ฒฝ์Ÿ, ํ‰๊ฐ€, ์‹œํ—˜์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์‚ฌํšŒ์˜ ์ง‘์ฐฉ
12:26
is benefiting young people.
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์ด๊ฒŒ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋„์›€์ด ๋˜๋Š”๊ฐ€ ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
12:28
It's become commonplace for public figures to say
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์œ ๋ช…์ธ์‚ฌ๋“ค์€ ํ”ํžˆ ๋งํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:31
that young people just need a little bit more resilience
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์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์€ ์ข€ ๋” ๋ˆ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์–ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๊ณ ์š”.
12:34
in the face of these new and unprecedented pressures.
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์ƒˆ๋กญ๊ณ  ๊ฒฝํ—˜ํ•ด ๋ณด์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ ๋ฌธ์ œ์— ๋งž๋‹ฅ ๋“œ๋ ธ์„ ๋•Œ์š”.
12:38
But I believe that is us washing our hands of the core issue
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ์ € ์ฑ…์ž„์„ ํšŒํ”ผ ์ค‘์ด๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด์š”.
12:43
because we have a shared responsibility
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์šฐ๋ฆฐ ๊ณต๋™ ์ฑ…์ž„์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:45
to create a society and a culture in which young people need less perfection
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์• ์ดˆ์— ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์ด ๋œ ์™„๋ฒฝํ•ด๋„ ๋˜๋Š” ์„ธ์ƒ
12:51
in the first place.
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๊ทธ๊ฑธ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์ฃ .
12:53
Let's not kid ourselves.
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์ด๊ฑด ์žฅ๋‚œ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:54
Creating that kind of world is an enormous challenge,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์„ธ์ƒ์„ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฑด ์—„์ฒญ๋‚œ ๋„์ „์ด์—์š”.
12:56
and for a generation of young people
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์ Š์€ ์„ธ๋Œ€๊ฐ€
12:58
that live their lives in the 24/7 spotlight
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1๋…„ 365์ผ ๋™์•ˆ ์ง€ํ‘œ, ์ˆœ์œ„, ์†Œ์…œ๋ฏธ๋””์–ด
13:00
of metrics, lead tables and social media,
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์†์—์„œ ์‚ด์•„๊ฐ€๋Š” ์„ธ์ƒ์—์„œ
13:03
perfectionism is inevitable,
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์™„๋ฒฝ์ฃผ์˜๋Š” ๋ถˆ๊ฐ€ํ”ผํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:05
so long as they lack any purpose in life
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ์ด์—๊ฒŒ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ณด์ด๋Š”์ง€
13:07
greater than how they are appearing
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์–ผ๋งˆ๋‚˜ ์ž˜ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€๋ณด๋‹ค
13:09
or how they are performing to other people.
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๋” ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๋ฌด์–ธ๊ฐ€๊ฐ€ ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
13:11
What can they do about it?
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
13:12
Every time they are knocked down from that mountaintop,
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๋งค๋ฒˆ ์‚ฐ ์ •์ƒ์—์„œ ๋‚ด๋ ค์˜ค๋ฉฐ
13:15
they see no other option but to try scaling that peak again.
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋Œ€์•ˆ์€ ์—†์ด ๋‹ค์‹œ ๊ทธ ์ •์ƒ์„ ์˜ฌ๋ผ์•ผ๋งŒ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด์š”.
13:19
The ancient Greeks knew
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๊ณ ๋Œ€ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ์Šค์ธ๋“ค์€ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ์–ด์š”.
13:20
that this endless struggle up and down the same mountain
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๋์—†์ด ๊ฐ™์€ ์‚ฐ์„ ์˜ค๋ฅด๋ฝ๋‚ด๋ฆฌ๋ฝ ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด
13:24
is not the road to happiness.
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ํ–‰๋ณต์˜ ๊ธธ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„์š”.
13:26
Their image of hell was a man called Sisyphus,
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์ง€์˜ฅ์„ '์‹œ์‹œํฌ์Šค'๋ผ๋Š” ๋‚จ์ž๋ฅผ ํ†ตํ•ด ๋‚˜ํƒ€๋ƒˆ๋Š”๋ฐ์š”.
13:28
doomed for eternity to keep rolling the same boulder up a hill,
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์˜์›ํžˆ ๋ฌด๊ฑฐ์šด ๋ฐ”์œ„๋ฅผ ์‚ฐ ์ •์ƒ์œผ๋กœ ๋ฐ€์–ด ์˜ฌ๋ฆฌ๋„๋ก ๋ฒŒ์„ ๋ฐ›์•˜์ฃ .
13:32
only to see it roll back down and have to start again.
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๊ทธ ๋ฐ”์œ„๋Š” ๋‹ค์‹œ ๊ตด๋Ÿฌ ๋‚ด๋ ค์˜ค๊ณ  ๋˜‘๊ฐ™์€ ์ผ์„ ๋ฐ˜๋ณตํ•ด์•ผํ•˜์ฃ .
13:36
So long as we teach young people
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š”๊ฒƒ์ด
13:38
that there is nothing more real or meaningful in their lives
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์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ๊ฐ€์žฅ ์˜๋ฏธ์žˆ๋Š” ์ผ์ด
13:41
than this hopeless quest for perfection,
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์™„๋ฒฝ์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ํฌ๋ง์—†๋Š” ์—ฌ์ •์ด๋ผ๋ฉด
13:43
then we are going to condemn future generations
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ํ›„์„ธ๋Œ€์— ํ˜•๋ฒŒ์„ ๋‚ด๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:45
to that same futility and despair.
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๋˜‘๊ฐ™์ด ๊ณตํ—ˆํ•˜๊ณ , ์ ˆ๋ง์ ์ธ ์‚ถ์„ ์‚ด๋„๋ก์š”.
13:49
And so we're left with a question.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰ ์งˆ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:52
When are we going to appreciate
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ธ์ œ ์•Œ์•„๋ณผ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
13:53
that there is something fundamentally inhuman
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ํ•œ๊ณ„์—†๋Š” ์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์—๋Š”
13:57
about limitless perfection?
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์™„์ „ํžˆ ๋น„์ธ๊ฐ„์ ์ธ ๋ฉด์ด ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์š”.
14:00
No one is flawless.
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:01
If we want to help our young people escape the trap of perfectionism,
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์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์„ ์ด ๋ซ์—์„œ ํƒˆ์ถœํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒŒ ๋„์™€์ฃผ๋ ค๋ฉด
14:06
then we will teach them that in a chaotic world,
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์ด๊ฒƒ์„ ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์ณ์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ด ํ˜ผ๋ž€์Šค๋Ÿฌ์šด ์„ธ์ƒ์†์—์„œ
14:10
life will often defeat us, but that's OK.
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์ธ์ƒ์€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ž์ฃผ ์ขŒ์ ˆ์‹œํ‚ค์ง€๋งŒ, "๊ดœ์ฐฎ์•„."
14:13
Failure is not weakness.
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"์‹คํŒจ๋Š” ์•ฝ์ ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ์•ผ."
14:16
If we want to help our young people outgrow this self-defeating snare
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์ด ์ž๋ฉธ์˜ ๋Šช์—์„œ ๋‚˜์˜ฌ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์ฃผ๋ ค๋ฉด
14:19
of impossible perfection,
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์™„๋ฒฝํ•จ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๋Šช
14:21
then we will raise them in a society that has outgrown that very same delusion.
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์ด ๋ง์ƒ์—์„œ ๋ฒ—์–ด๋‚œ ์‚ฌํšŒ์—์„œ ํ‚ค์›Œ์•ผ ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:26
But most of all,
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ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋ฌด์—‡๋ณด๋‹ค๋„
14:28
if we want our young people to enjoy mental, emotional
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ Š์€์ด๋“ค์ด ์ •์‹ ์ , ์ •์„œ์ 
14:32
and psychological health,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์‹ฌ๋ฆฌ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ž€๋‹ค๋ฉด,
14:33
then we will invite them to celebrate the joys
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์ด ๋ถˆ์™„์ „ํ•จ์˜ ๊ธฐ์จ๊ณผ ์•„๋ฆ„๋‹ค์›€์„
14:37
and the beauties of imperfection
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์ฆ๊ธธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ํ•ด์ค˜์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:41
as a normal and natural part of everyday living and loving.
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ํ‰๋ฒ”ํ•˜๊ณ  ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฝ๊ฒŒ ์‚ด์•„๊ฐ€๊ณ  ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์กด์žฌ๋กœ์„œ์š”.
14:48
Thank you very much.
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์ •๋ง ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
14:49
(Applause)
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(๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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