Talk about your death while you're still healthy | Michelle Knox

70,518 views ใƒป 2018-02-08

TED


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

00:00
Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Krystian Aparta
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๋ฒˆ์—ญ: Jeannie Yoo ๊ฒ€ํ† : Jihyeon J. Kim
00:12
To kick the bucket,
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์ˆจ์ด ๋Š์–ด์ง€๋‹ค.
00:14
bite the dust,
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์šด๋ช…ํ•˜๋‹ค.
00:16
cash in your chips,
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๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์‹œ๋‹ค.
00:18
check out, depart, expire,
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์ƒ์„ ๋งˆ๊ฐํ•˜๋‹ค, ์ด์Šน์„ ๋– ๋‚˜๋‹ค, ์˜๋ฉดํ•˜๋‹ค.
00:21
launch into eternity ...
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์˜์›์˜ ์„ธ๊ณ„๋กœ ๊ฑด๋„ˆ๊ฐ€๋‹ค.
00:24
These are all euphemisms we use in humor
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๋ชจ๋‘ ์ฃฝ์Œ์˜ ์™„๊ณกํ•œ ํ‘œํ˜„์ด์ฃ .
00:27
to describe the one life event we are all going to experience:
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ชจ๋‘๊ฐ€ ๊ฒฝํ—˜ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋  ์ธ์ƒ์˜ ์‚ฌ๊ฑด
00:32
death.
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์ฃฝ์Œ
00:34
But most of us don't want to acknowledge death,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์€ ์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์ฃ .
00:37
we don't want to plan for it,
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๊ณ„ํšํ•˜๊ธธ ์›ํ•˜์ง€๋„ ์•Š๊ณ ์š”.
00:39
and we don't want to discuss it with the most important people in our lives.
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๋‚ด ์ธ์ƒ์˜ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊บผ๋ฆฌ์ฃ .
00:44
I grew up in an Australian community where people got old or sick
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์ „ ํ˜ธ์ฃผ์—์„œ ์ž๋ž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„  ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์ด ๋Š™๊ณ  ๋ณ‘๋“ค์–ด์„œ
00:47
and passed away,
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์ฃฝ๊ฒŒ๋˜๋ฉด
00:48
and only the adults attended the funeral.
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์–ด๋ฅธ๋“ค๋งŒ์ด ์žฅ๋ก€์‹์— ์ฐธ๊ฐ€ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:51
My parents would come home looking sad and drained,
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๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜์€ ์Šฌํ”„๊ณ  ์ง€์นœ์ฒด๋กœ ์ง‘์— ๋Œ์•„์˜ค๊ณค ํ–ˆ์ฃ .
00:54
but they didn't discuss it with us.
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์ €ํฌ๋“ค๊ณผ ๊ทธ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜์ง„ ์•Š์•˜์ฃ .
00:56
So I was ignorant to death and of the grieving process.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ค๋ณด๋‹ˆ ์ „ ์ฃฝ์Œ์— ๋ฌด์ง€ํ•˜๊ณ  ์• ๋„ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•๋„ ๋ชฐ๋ž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:01
At 15, I got my invitation.
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15์‚ด์ด ๋˜์ž, ์ €๋„ ์žฅ๋ก€์‹์— ๊ฐ€๊ฒŒ๋์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:03
A dear neighbor who was like an aunt to me
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์ €์—๊ฒŒ ๊ณ ๋ชจ์™€๋„ ๊ฐ™์€ ์ด์›ƒ๋ถ„์ด
01:06
died suddenly of a heart attack,
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์‹ฌ์žฅ๋ฐœ์ž‘์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ‘์ž๊ธฐ ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:08
and I attended my first funeral and did my first reading.
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์ฒ˜์Œ์œผ๋กœ ์žฅ๋ก€์‹์— ์ฐธ์„ํ–ˆ๊ณ  ๋– ๋‚œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ๋‚ญ๋…์„ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:12
I didn't know the tightness in my chest and the dryness in my mouth was normal.
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๋ชฉ๋ฉ”์ด๊ณ  ๊ฐ€์Šด์ด ๋‹ต๋‹ตํ•œ ๋Š๋‚Œ์ด ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฐ ๊ฐ์ •์ด๋ž€ ๊ฑธ ๊ทธ๋• ๋ชฐ๋ž์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:18
The celebrant got some of the facts wrong, and it made me really angry.
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์žฅ๋ก€์ง„ํ–‰์ž์˜ ๋‚ญ๋… ๋‚ด์šฉ์ด ์ €๋ฅผ ํ™”๋‚˜๊ฒŒ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:23
He talked about how she loved knitting.
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๊ทธ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๋œจ๊ฐœ์งˆ์„ ๋งค์šฐ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ–ˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๋ง๋งŒ ํ•˜๋”๊ตฐ์š”.
01:28
Knitting.
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๊ทธ์ € ๋œจ๊ฐœ์งˆ ๋ง์ด์—์š”.
01:29
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:30
He didn't mention that, at 75, she still mowed her own lawn,
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75์„ธ์˜ ๋‚˜์ด์—๋„ ์ž”๋”” ๊นŽ์€ ์–˜๊ธฐ๋„ ์•ˆํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
01:34
built an amazing fish pond in her front yard
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์•ž๋งˆ๋‹น์— ๋ฉ‹์ง„ ์—ฐ๋ชป์„ ๋งŒ๋“  ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋„ ์•ˆํ•˜๊ณ ์š”.
01:36
and made her own ginger beer.
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์ƒ๊ฐ•์œผ๋กœ ๋งฅ์ฃผ๋‹ด์€ ์–˜๊ธฐ๋„ ์•ˆํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
01:39
I'm pretty sure "keen knitter"
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์ „ ์ •๋ง ์•Œ์•„์š”.
01:41
isn't what she would have chosen for her eulogy.
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์ถ”๋„์‚ฌ์—์„œ ๋œจ๊ฐœ์งˆ์žฅ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ํ‘œํ˜„์ด ๊ทธ๋…€์˜ ์„ ํƒ์€ ์•„๋‹๊ฑฐ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฑธ.
01:44
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
01:46
I believe if we discuss death as part of day-to-day living,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ผ์ƒ์ƒํ™œ์†์—์„œ ์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ๋…ผํ• ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋ฉด
01:49
we give ourselves the opportunity to reflect on our core values,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์ž์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ์„ ๋Œ์•„๋ณผ ๊ธฐํšŒ๋ฅผ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:52
share them with our loved ones,
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค๊ณผ ๊ทธ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋ฉฐ
01:54
and then our survivors can make informed decisions
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์ž์†๋“ค์ด ํ˜„๋ช…ํ•œ ๊ฒฐ์ •์„ ๋‚ด๋ฆฌ๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:58
without fear or regret of having failed to honor our legacy.
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์„ ์กฐ์˜ ์œ ์‚ฐ์— ๊ฑฐ์Šค๋ฅด๊ฒŒ ๋ ๊นŒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฑฑ์ •, ํ›„ํšŒ์—†๋Š” ๊ฒฐ์ •์„ ํ•˜๊ฒŒ๋˜์ฃ .
02:04
I am blessed to lead a wonderful, culturally diverse team,
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์ „ ์šด์ข‹๊ฒŒ๋„ ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ๋‹ค๋ฌธํ™”์  ํŒ€์„ ์ด๋Œ๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:08
and in the last 12 months,
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์ง€๋‚œ 12๋‹ฌ ๋™์•ˆ
02:09
we've lost five parents,
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์ €ํฌ๋Š” 5๋ช…์˜ ๋ถ€๋ชจ๋ฅผ ์žƒ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:11
including my own father,
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์ œ ์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋ฅผ ํฌํ•จํ•ด์„œ ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
02:13
and most recently, a former colleague who died at 41 from bowel cancer.
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์ตœ๊ทผ์—๋Š” 41์„ธ์ธ ์ด์ „์˜ ๋™๋ฃŒ๋ฅผ ๋Œ€์žฅ์•”์œผ๋กœ ์žƒ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:19
We started having open and frank conversations
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋งˆ์Œ์„ ์—ด๊ณ  ์ง„์‹คํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:21
about what we were experiencing.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฒช๊ณ  ์žˆ๋Š” ์ผ์„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:24
We talked about the practical stuff,
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ํ˜„์‹ค์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๋Š” ์ผ์„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:26
the stuff no one prepares you for:
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์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์ค€๋น„ํ•˜์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ ์ผ๋“ค
02:29
dealing with government agencies,
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์ •๋ถ€๊ธฐ๊ด€๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฒ•
02:31
hospitals, nursing homes,
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๋ณ‘์›, ์š”์–‘์›๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฒ•
02:33
advanced care directives,
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์‚ฌ์ „ ์˜๋ฃŒ ์˜ํ–ฅ์„œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ค€๋น„
02:34
funeral directors
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์žฅ๋ก€์ ˆ์ฐจ
02:36
and extended family members,
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๋Œ€๊ฐ€์กฑ์˜ ์ดˆ๋Œ€
02:39
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
02:40
making decisions about coffins,
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์–ด๋–ค ๊ด€์œผ๋กœ ์ •ํ• ์ง€
02:43
headstones,
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๋ฌ˜๋น„๋Š” ๋ญ˜๋กœ ํ• ์ง€
02:44
headstone wording,
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๋ฌ˜๋น„์— ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ์“ธ์ง€
02:45
headstone font size,
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๋ฌ˜๋น„์˜ ๊ธ€์”จ์ฒด
02:47
all while sleep-deprived.
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์ž ๋„ ์ž์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ ์ฑ„ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:50
We also discussed some of the issues
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๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋“ค๋„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:52
triggered by our various cultural backgrounds,
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์„œ๋กœ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ฌธํ™”์  ๋ฐฐ๊ฒฝ์— ๋”ฐ๋ฅธ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์˜์‹๋“ค์ด์ฃ .
02:55
and we realized there can be some significant differences
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์ƒ๋‹นํ•œ ์ฐจ์ด๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ฌ์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:58
in how we honor the passing of a loved one.
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ–ˆ๋˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์„ ๋ณด๋‚ด๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ด ๋‹ค๋ฅด๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๊นจ๋‹ฌ์•˜์ฃ .
03:01
A great example of this is "Sorry Business,"
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ํ•œ ์˜ˆ๋กœ "๋ฏธ์•ˆํ•ด ๋น„์ฆˆ๋‹ˆ์Šค"๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:04
practiced by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.
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ํ† ๋Ÿฌ์Šค ํ•ดํ˜‘์˜ ํ•œ ์„ฌ์— ์‚ฌ๋Š” ์›์ฃผ๋ฏผ์ด ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:07
During Sorry Business,
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์˜๋ฆฌ ๋น„์ง€๋‹ˆ์Šค๊ฐ€ ํ–‰ํ•ด์ง€๋Š” ๋™์•ˆ
03:10
family members will take on specific roles and responsibilities,
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๊ฐ€์กฑ๋“ค์€ ํŠน์ •ํ•œ ์—ญํ• ๊ณผ ์ฑ…์ž„์„ ๋– ๋งก์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:13
protocols such as limiting the use of photographs,
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์‚ฌ์ง„์˜ ์‚ฌ์šฉ์€ ์ œํ•œ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:16
saying the name of the deceased,
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๊ณ ์ธ์˜ ์ด๋ฆ„์„ ๋ถ€๋ฅด๋ฉฐ
03:19
and holding a smoking ceremony
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๋ถˆ์„ ์ง€ํ”ผ๋ฉฐ ์—ฐ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋‚ด๋Š” ์˜์‹์„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:21
are all a sign of respect and allow for a peaceful transition of the spirit.
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๊ณ ์ธ์˜ ์˜ํ˜ผ์˜ ํ‰ํ™”๋กœ์šด ์ „์ด๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ์˜์‹์ด์ฃ .
03:26
These customs can be a complete contrast
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์ด ๊ด€์Šต์€ ์ •๋ฐ˜๋Œ€์˜ ๋ชจ์Šต์ด์ฃ .
03:28
to those we might practice in Western cultures,
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์„œ์–‘๋ฌธํ™”์†์—์„œ ํ–‰ํ•ด์ง€๋Š” ์˜์‹๊ณผ ๋น„๊ตํ•˜๋ฉด์š”.
03:31
where we would honor the memory of a loved one
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ–ˆ๋˜ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ๊ธฐ์–ต์„ ๋˜์ƒˆ๊ธฐ๋ฉฐ
03:33
by talking about them and sharing photographs.
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๊ทธ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‚ฌ์ง„์„ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š” ์„œ์–‘๊ณผ๋Š” ์ •๋ฐ˜๋Œ€์ฃ .
03:37
So my lesson from this last year is,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ž‘๋…„์— ๋ฐฐ์šด ๊ตํ›ˆ์€
03:39
life would be a lot easier to live if we talked about death now,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ง€๊ธˆ ์ฃฝ์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ํ† ๋ก ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ธ์ƒ์ด ํ›จ์”ฌ ์ˆ˜์›”ํ•ด ์งˆ ๊ฑฐ๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:45
while we're healthy.
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๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•  ๋•Œ ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
03:47
For most of us, we wait until we are too emotional,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์€ ๋งˆ์Œ์ด ์•ฝํ•ด์ง€๋ฉด ๊ทธ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•ด์š”.
03:50
too ill
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๋ชธ์ด ์•„ํ”Œ ๋•Œ ํ•˜์ฃ .
03:52
or too physically exhausted --
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์œก์ฒด์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋งŽ์ด ์ง€์ณค์„๋•Œ๋„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:55
and then it's too late.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋•Œ๋Š” ์ด๋ฏธ ๋Šฆ์€ ๊ฑฐ์ฃ .
03:57
Isn't it time we started taking ownership of our finale on this earth?
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์ด ์„ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ๋‚ด ์ธ์ƒ์˜ ๋งˆ์ง€๋ง‰์€ ๋‚ด๊ฐ€ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•ด์•ผ ํ•˜๋Š”๊ฑฐ ์•„๋‹Œ๊ฐ€์š”?
04:03
So let's get going.
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์ž ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•ด๋ด…์‹œ๋‹ค.
04:05
Do you know what you want when you die?
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ์ฃฝ์„ ๋•Œ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ์›ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์•„์„ธ์š”?
04:08
Do you know how you want to be remembered?
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ์ฃฝ์€ ํ›„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ธฐ์–ต๋˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์œผ์„ธ์š”?
04:10
Is location important?
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์–ด๋Š ์žฅ์†Œ๊ฐ€ ๋˜์—ˆ์œผ๋ฉด ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
04:13
Do you want to be near the ocean
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๋ฐ”๋‹ท๊ฐ€ ๊ทผ์ฒ˜๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์œผ์„ธ์š”?
04:15
or in the ocean?
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๋ฐ”๋‹ค์†์ด ์ข‹์œผ์„ธ์š”?
04:16
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:18
Do you want a religious service or an informal party,
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์ข…๊ต์  ์˜์‹์ด ์ข‹์œผ์„ธ์š” ๋˜๋Š” ํŽธ์•ˆํ•œ ํŒŒํ‹ฐ๊ฐ€ ์ข‹์œผ์„ธ์š”?
04:22
or do you want to go out with a bang,
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๋นตํ•˜๊ณ  ํ„ฐ์ง€๋Š” ์†Œ๋ฆฌ์™€ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜๋Š” ์˜์‹์ด ์ข‹์œผ์„ธ์š”?
04:24
literally, in a firework?
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๋ง ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ, ๋ถˆ๊ฝƒ๋†€์ด์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ?
04:27
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:28
When it comes to death, there's so much to discuss,
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์ฃฝ์Œ์•  ๊ด€ํ•ด์„œ๋Š” ์˜๋…ผํ•ด์•ผํ•  ๊ฒŒ ์ฐธ ๋งŽ์•„์š”.
04:31
but I want to focus on two aspects:
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๋‘ ๊ฐ€์ง€๋ฉด์„ ๊ฐ•์กฐํ•˜๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:33
why talking about and planning your death can help you experience a good death,
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์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ๋ฏธ๋ฆฌ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์ค€๋น„ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ข‹์€ ์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ๋งž์ดํ•˜๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:39
and then reduce the stress on your loved ones;
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค๋ฅผ ๋œ ์ฃผ๊ฒŒ๋˜์ฃ .
04:41
and how talking about death can help us support those who are grieving.
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์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ์Šฌํผํ•˜๋Š” ์ด๋“ค์„ ์œ„๋กœํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:45
So let's start with planning.
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์ด์ œ ๊ณ„ํš์„ ์„ธ์›Œ ๋ณผ๊นŒ์š”?
04:48
How many of you have a will?
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ๊ณ„์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
04:50
Put your hand up.
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์† ๋“ค์–ด๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
04:51
Oh, this is fantastic.
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์˜ค, ๋Œ€๋‹จํ•˜์‹œ๋„ค์š”.
04:53
In Australia, 45 percent of adults over the age of 18
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ํ˜ธ์ฃผ์—๋Š” 18์„ธ ์ด์ƒ ์„ฑ์ธ์˜ 45%๊ฐ€
04:58
do not have a legal will.
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๋ฒ•์  ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:01
You're a little bit above average.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ํ‰๊ท ์น˜ ์ด์ƒ์ด๋„ค์š”.
05:03
This is a startling statistic
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์ด๊ฑด ๋†€๋ผ์šด ํ†ต๊ณ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:06
given that writing a will can actually be quite simple and inexpensive.
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์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์„ ์“ฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ฐ„๋‹จํ•˜๊ณ  ์ €๋ ดํ•˜๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
05:10
So I started asking my friends and neighbors
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์ œ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค๊ณผ ์ฃผ๋ณ€ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:12
and was really surprised to learn many of them don't have a will,
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๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์ด ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์ด ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์•Œ๊ณ  ์ •๋ง ๋†€๋ž์–ด์š”.
05:16
and some couples don't realize they need individual wills.
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์–ด๋–ค ๋ถ€๋ถ€๋“ค์€ ๊ฐ๊ฐ์˜ ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์ด ํ•„์š”ํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋”๊ตฐ์š”.
05:19
The usual explanation was, well, it's all going to go to my partner anyway.
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์–ด์ฐจํ”ผ ๋ฐฐ์šฐ์ž๊ฐ€ ์ˆ˜ํ˜œ์ž๊ฐ€ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฑฐ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ƒ๊ณ  ํ•˜๋”๋ผ๊ณ ์š”.
05:24
So keep in mind that laws vary
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์ž˜ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•ด๋‘์„ธ์š”.
05:26
from state to state and country to country,
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๋ฒ•์€ ๋‚˜๋ผ๋งˆ๋‹ค ์ฃผ๋งˆ๋‹ค ๋‹ค ๋‹ค๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:29
but this is what happens in New South Wales
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ํ˜ธ์ฃผ์˜ ๋‰ด์‚ฌ์šฐ์Šค ์›จ์ผ์ฆˆ๋Š” ์ด๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:31
if you die without leaving a legal will.
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๋ฒ•์  ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์ด ์—†์ด ์‚ฌ๋งํ•˜๋ฉด
05:35
Firstly, a suitable administrator must be appointed
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์ฒซ์งธ, ์ ์ ˆํ•œ ํ–‰์ •๊ด€์ด ์ง€๋ช…์ด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:38
by the Supreme Court of New South Wales.
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๋‰ด์‚ฌ์šฐ์Šค ์›จ์ผ์ฆˆ์˜ ๋Œ€๋ฒ•์›์—์„œ ๋‚˜์˜ต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:41
Chances are this is someone who would never have met the deceased.
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์•„๋งˆ๋„ ์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ๊ฒฝํ—˜ํ•ด ๋ณด์ง€ ๋ชปํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ผ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:45
That person is then responsible for arranging your funeral,
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๊ทธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์˜ ์žฅ๋ก€์ ˆ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์ง„ํ–‰ํ•˜๋Š” ์ฑ…์ž„์ž์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:49
collecting assets and distributing them after paying debts and taxes.
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์ž์‚ฐ์„ ๋ชจ์•„ ์ •๋ฆฌํ•˜๊ณ  ๋นš๊ณผ ์„ธ๊ธˆ์„ ์ฒญ์‚ฐํ•œ ํ›„์— ์žฌ๋ถ„๋ฐฐ๋ฅผ ํ•˜์ฃ .
05:54
And one of those debts will be the bill for their services.
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์ง€๋ถˆํ•˜๋Š” ๋นš์ค‘์—๋Š” ์žฅ๋ก€์ ˆ์ฐจ๋ฅผ ์ง„ํ–‰ํ•˜๋Š” ์ž๊ธฐ๋“ค์˜ ๋น„์šฉ๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:57
This is not someone who would have known
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์ด ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋‹น์‹ ์ด ๋ญ˜ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ์ง€๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:59
you want the four-foot wooden giraffe in your living room
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๊ฑฐ์‹ค์— ์žˆ๋Š” ๋„ค๋ฐœ์˜ ๋‚˜๋ฌด๊ธฐ๋ฆฐ์ด ๋‹น์‹ ์—๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ชจ๋ฅด์ฃ .
06:02
to go to the person who helped you carry it halfway across the world,
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์„ธ์ƒ์˜ ์ ˆ๋ฐ˜์„ ๊ฑด๋„ˆ ๊ธฐ๋ฆฐ์„ ์˜ฎ๊ธฐ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋„์™€์ค€ ์นœ๊ตฌ์—๊ฒŒ ๊ฐ€๋ ค๋ฉด ํ•„์š”ํ•˜๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
06:05
and yes, that's in my will.
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๋„ค, ์ œ ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์— ์จ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
06:07
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
06:10
If you die leaving a spouse or a domestic partner,
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๋ฐฐ์šฐ์ž ๋˜๋Š” ๋™๋ฐ˜์ž๋ฅผ ๋‚จ๊ธฐ๊ณ  ์ฃฝ๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋ฉด
06:12
then chances are they will receive your estate,
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๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์žฌ์‚ฐ์„ ๋ฐ›์„ ํ™•๋ฅ ์ด ๋†’์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:15
but if you are single, it's far more complicated,
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์‹ฑ๊ธ€์ด๋ผ๋ฉด, ๋ฌธ์ œ๋Š” ๋ณต์žกํ•ด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:18
as parents, siblings, half-siblings and dependents all come into play.
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๋ถ€๋ชจ๋‹˜, ํ˜•์ œ์ž๋งค, ๋ฐฐ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ํ˜•์ œ์ž๋งค, ๋ถ€์–‘๊ฐ€์กฑ ๋ชจ๋‘๋ฅผ ๊ณ ๋ คํ•ด์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:24
And did you know that if you make a regular donation to charity,
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์ž์„ ๋‹จ์ฒด์— ์ฃผ๊ธฐ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ธฐ๋ถ€ํ•˜์…จ๋‹ค๋ฉด
06:28
that charity may have grounds to make a claim on your estate?
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๊ทธ ๋‹จ์ฒด์—๋„ ์žฌ์‚ฐ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ถŒ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ฃผ์–ด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:32
The most important thing to know is the bigger your estate,
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์•Œ์•„์•ผ ํ•  ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์žฌ์‚ฐ์ด ๋งŽ์„ ์ˆ˜๋ก
06:35
the more complicated that will will be,
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์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์ด ๋” ๋ณต์žกํ•ด ์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:37
and the more expensive that bill.
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๋น„์šฉ ๋˜ํ•œ ๋” ์˜ฌ๋ผ๊ฐ‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:40
So if you don't have a will, I ask you ...
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌป๊ฒ ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์ด ์—†์œผ์‹  ๋ถ„์€
06:45
when else in your life
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์ธ์ƒ์—์„œ ๊ณผ์—ฐ ์–ธ์ œ
06:47
have you willingly given money to the government
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์ •๋ถ€์— ๊ธฐ๊บผ์ด ๋ˆ์„ ๊ฐ–๋‹ค ๋ฐ”์น˜์…จ๋‚˜์š”?
06:50
when you didn't have to?
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์•ˆ ๊ฐ–๋‹ค์ค˜๋„ ๋  ๋•Œ ๋ง์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:52
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
06:55
I lost my father in February to a progressive lung disease.
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์ œ ์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” 2์›”์— ํ์งˆํ™˜์œผ๋กœ ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:59
When dad knew his death was imminent,
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” ์ฃฝ์Œ์ด ์ž„๋ฐ•ํ•จ์„ ๋Š๋ผ์‹œ๊ณ ๋Š”
07:01
he had three clear wishes.
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์„ธ ๊ฐ€์ง€์˜ ์†Œ์›์„ ๋ง์”€ํ•˜์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:03
He wanted to die at home;
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์ง‘์—์„œ ์ƒ์„ ๋งˆ์น˜๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ์…จ๊ณ 
07:06
he wanted to die surrounded by family;
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๊ฐ€์กฑ์— ๋‘˜๋Ÿฌ์‹ธ์—ฌ์„œ ๋– ๋‚˜์‹œ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:08
and he wanted to die peacefully, not choking or gasping for air.
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์งˆ์‹ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์ˆจ์„ ํ—๋–ก์ด์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ํ‰ํ™”๋กญ๊ฒŒ ๋– ๋‚˜์‹œ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ฐ”๋ผ์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:13
And I'm pleased to say that my family were able to support dad's wishes,
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๊ธฐ์˜๊ฒŒ๋„ ์ €์˜ ๊ฐ€์กฑ์€ ๊ทธ ์†Œ์›์„ ์ง€์ผœ์ค„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:17
and he achieved his goals,
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป์œผ์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:18
and in that sense, he had a good death.
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฉด์—์„œ ํŽธ์•ˆํ•œ ์ฃฝ์Œ์ด์—ˆ์ฃ .
07:22
He had the death he planned for.
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๊ณ„ํšํ•œ ๋ฐ๋กœ ๋งž์ดํ•œ ์ฃฝ์Œ์ด์—ˆ์œผ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
07:25
Because dad wanted to die at home,
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๊ฐ€ ์ง‘์—์„œ ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์‹œ๊ธธ ๋ฐ”๋ผ์…จ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์—
07:27
we had to have some pretty tough conversations
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฝค ์ง„์ง€ํ•œ ๋Œ€ํ™”๋ฅผ ํ•ด์•ผํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:29
and fill out a lot of paperwork.
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์ฒ˜๋ฆฌํ•ด์•ผํ•  ์„œ๋ฅ˜๋„ ๋งŽ์•˜์—ˆ์ฃ .
07:31
The questions on the forms cover everything from resuscitation to organ donation.
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์†Œ์ƒ์ˆ  ๊ด€๋ จ ์„œ๋ฅ˜๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์žฅ๊ธฐ๊ธฐ๋ถ€์— ๊ด€ํ•œ ์„œ๋ฅ˜๊นŒ์ง€ ๋งŽ์•˜์–ด์š”.
07:37
Dad said, "Take whatever organs you can use."
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” ๋ง์”€ํ•˜์…จ์–ด์š”. ์‚ฌ์šฉ ๊ฐ€๋Šฅํ•œ ์žฅ๊ธฐ๋Š” ๋‹ค ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜๋ผ๊ณ .
07:41
This was upsetting to my mum,
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์—„๋งˆ๋Š” ๊ทธ ๋ง์„ ๋“ฃ๊ณ  ์†์ƒํ•ด ํ•˜์…จ์–ด์š”.
07:43
as my dad's health was deteriorating rapidly,
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€์˜ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•์ด ๊ธ‰์†ํžˆ ์•…ํ™”๋˜๋ฉด์„œ
07:45
and it was no longer the right time to talk about organ donation.
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์žฅ๊ธฐ๊ธฐ๋ถ€๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋Š” ํž˜๋“ค์–ด ์กŒ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:50
I believe we need to discuss these issues when we are fit and healthy,
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์žฅ๊ธฐ๊ธฐ๋ถ€๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ• ๋•Œ ์˜๋…ผํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋งž๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:54
so we can take the emotion out of it,
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์•ผ ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ž์ œํ•˜๊ณ  ํ• ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์œผ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
07:56
and then we can learn not just what is important,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋ฉด ๋ฌด์—‡์ด ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ์ง€๋„ ์•Œ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ 
07:59
but why it's important.
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์™œ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ์ง€๋„ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ๋˜์ฃ .
08:02
So as part of my journey,
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์ €์˜ ํ™œ๋™์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋กœ์จ
08:04
I started engaging my family and friends to find out their thoughts on death,
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์ œ ๊ฐ€์กฑ๊ณผ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์ด ์ฃฝ์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ƒ๊ฐ์„ ํ•ด๋ณผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋„๋ก ๋„์™€์คฌ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:09
and how they wanted to be remembered.
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์ฃฝ์€ ํ›„ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ธฐ์–ต๋˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์€์ง€๋„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด๋ณด์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:12
I discovered you can host a "Death Over Dinner,"
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์ €์—๊ฒŒ "์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ๋‚˜๋ˆ„๋Š” ์ €๋…์‹์‚ฌ" ๋ผ๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด ๋– ์˜ฌ๋ž์ฃ .
08:16
or a "Death Cafe,"
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์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด "์‚ฌ๋ง ์นดํŽ˜"
08:18
which is a great, casual way to introduce the topic ...
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ฃผ์ œ๋ฅผ ์ž์—ฐ์Šค๋Ÿฝ๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๋ฃฐ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์ด๋„ค์š”.
08:21
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:23
and gain some wonderful insight.
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ํ›Œ๋ฅญํ•œ ํ†ต์ฐฐ๋ ฅ๋„ ์–ป์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ณ ์š”.
08:25
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:27
Did you know that your body has to be legally disposed of,
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์‹œ์‹ ์ด ๋ฒ•์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ฒ˜๋ฆฌ๋˜์–ด์•ผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑฐ ์•Œ๊ณ  ๊ณ„์‹ญ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ?
08:30
and you can't just be shoved off a cliff
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์‹œ์‹ ์„ ์ ˆ๋ฒฝ์œผ๋กœ ๋˜์ ธ๋„ ์•ˆ๋˜๊ณ 
08:33
or set fire to in the backyard?
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๋งˆ๋‹น์—์„œ ๋ถˆ ํƒœ์›Œ๋„ ์•ˆ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:35
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:36
In Australia, you have three options.
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ํ˜ธ์ฃผ์—์„œ๋Š” 3 ๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ์„ ํƒํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:38
The two most common are burial and cremation,
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๊ฐ€์žฅ ์„ ํ˜ธํ•˜๋Š” ๋‘๊ฐ€์ง€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์€ ๋งค์žฅ๊ณผ ํ™”์žฅ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:40
but you can also donate your body to science.
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๋˜๋Š” ๊ณผํ•™๋ถ„์•ผ์— ์‹œ์‹ ์„ ๊ธฐ๋ถ€ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:43
And I am pleased to report that innovation has touched
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๊ณผํ•™์˜ ํ˜์‹ ์— ๋„์›€์„ ์ค€๋‹ค๋‹ˆ ๊ธฐ์˜๋„ค์š”.
08:46
the world of corpse disposal.
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์‹œ์‹ ์ฒ˜๋ฆฌ์˜ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ์„ธ๊ณ„๋„ค์š”.
08:48
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
08:49
You can now opt for an eco-funeral.
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์ด์ œ ํ™˜๊ฒฝ์นœํ™”์  ์žฅ๋ก€๋ฅผ ์„ ํƒํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:51
You can be buried at the base of a tree
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๋‚˜๋ฌด๋ฐ‘๋‘ฅ์— ๋ฌปํž ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์ฃ .
08:53
in recycled cardboard or a wicker basket,
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์žฌํ™œ์šฉ ํŒ์ง€๋‚˜ ๋ฐ”๊ตฌ๋‹ˆ์— ๋‘˜๋Ÿฌ์‹ธ์—ฌ์ ธ ๋ฌปํž™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:56
and for those who love the ocean,
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๋ฐ”๋‹ค๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜์‹œ๋Š” ๋ถ„๋“ค์€
08:57
there are eco-friendly urns that will dissolve at sea.
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๋ฐ”๋‹ค์—์„œ ๋…น๋Š” ํ™˜๊ฒฝ์นœํ™” ์œ ๊ณจ๋‹จ์ง€๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:01
Personally, I plan to be cremated,
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๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ €๋Š” ํ™”์žฅ์„ ์›ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:04
but given that I get seasick,
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๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ ์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐฐ๋ฉ€๋ฏธ๋ฅผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:06
I can think of nothing worse
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์ €๋Š” ๋ฐ”๋‹ค๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”.
09:08
than having my ashes flung into a huge ocean swell.
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๊ฑฐ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋ฐ”๋‹ค์˜ ํŒŒ๋„์— ๋‚˜์˜ ์žฌ๊ฐ€ ๋ฟŒ๋ ค์ง„๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด ๋ฌด์„œ์›Œ์š”.
09:12
I've actually bought a plot in the rose garden next to my dad.
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์žฅ๋ฏธ์ •์› ์•„๋ฒ„์ง€ ์˜†์ž๋ฆฌ์— ์ œ ์ž๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ƒ€์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:16
I call it my investment property.
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์ €์˜ ๋ถ€๋™์‚ฐ ํˆฌ์ž์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:18
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
09:20
But sadly, there's no tax deduction.
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์Šฌํ”„๊ฒŒ๋„ ์„ธ๊ธˆ๊ฐ๋ฉด์€ ์—†๋„ค์š”.
09:23
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
09:26
So if you plan for your death,
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๋งŒ์ผ ์ฃฝ์Œ์„ ์œ„ํ•ด ๊ณ„ํš์ด ์žˆ์œผ์‹œ๋‹ค๋ฉด
09:29
then your survivors will know how to experience a healthy bereavement
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์ž์†๋“ค์€ ๊ณ ์ธ๊ณผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๊ฑด๊ฐ•ํ•œ ์‚ฌ๋ณ„์„ ํ• ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š”์ง€๋ฅผ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ๋˜์ฃ .
09:33
without fear or guilt of having failed to honor your legacy.
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๊ณ ์ธ์˜ ์œ ์‚ฐ์„ ๊ธฐ๋ฆฌ์ง€ ๋ชปํ• ๊นŒํ•˜๋Š” ๋‘๋ ค์›€ ์—†์ด ํ• ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:37
As part of my research, I've been to seminars,
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์ œ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ์˜ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์œผ๋กœ์จ ์„ธ๋ฏธ๋‚˜์— ์ฐธ์„ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:40
read books and talked to palliative care nurses.
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์ฑ…๋„ ์ฝ๊ณ  ๋ง๊ธฐํ™˜์ž ๊ฐ„ํ˜ธ์‚ฌ๋“ค๊ณผ๋„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:43
And I've come to understand
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๊ทธ๋ž˜์„œ ์ดํ•ดํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:44
as a consequence of not talking about death,
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์ฃฝ์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋ฏธ๋ฆฌ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด
09:48
we don't know how to be around grief.
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์ฃฝ์€ ์ด๋ฅผ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์• ๋„ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์กฐ์ฐจ๋„ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:51
And on the flip side, if we talk about death more,
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๋ฐ˜๋ฉด์— ์ฃฝ์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ•œ๋‹ค๋ฉด
09:54
we will become more comfortable with the emotions we experience around grief.
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์• ๋„ํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ ๋Š๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฐ์ •์„ ์ข€๋” ํŽธ์•ˆํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ›์•„๋“ค์ด๊ฒŒ ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:01
I discovered, this year,
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์ œ๊ฐ€ ๊ธˆ๋…„์— ๊นจ๋‹ฌ์€ ๋ฐ”๋กœ๋Š”
10:03
it's actually a privilege to help someone exit this life,
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€ ์„ธ์ƒ์„ ๋– ๋‚˜๋Š” ์ผ์„ ๋„์™€์ฃผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ํŠน๊ถŒ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:07
and although my heart is heavy with loss and sadness,
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๋น„๋ก ๋งˆ์Œ์€ ์ƒ์‹ค๊ณผ ์Šฌํ””์œผ๋กœ ๋ฌด๊ฒ์ง€๋งŒ
10:11
it is not heavy with regret.
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ํ›„ํšŒ๋กœ ๋ฌด๊ฑฐ์šด ๊ฒƒ์€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
10:13
I knew what dad wanted,
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์ €๋Š” ์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ์ง€๋ฅผ ์•Œ์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:15
and I feel at peace knowing I could support his wishes.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ๋กœ ํ• ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์–ด์„œ ๋งˆ์Œ์€ ํŽธ์•ˆํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:21
My dad's last 24 hours were in a peaceful coma,
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” 24์‹œ๊ฐ„ ๋™์•ˆ ํ˜ผ์ˆ˜์ƒํƒœ์— ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:24
and after days of around-the-clock care,
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๋ฐค๋‚ฎ์œผ๋กœ ๋ฉฐ์น  ๋™์•ˆ ๋ณด์‚ดํ”ผ๋ฉฐ
10:26
we had time to sit, hold his hand,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์•„๋ฒ„์ง€ ์†์„ ์žก๊ณ  ์˜†์— ์•‰์•„์žˆ์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:29
and say goodbye.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๋Š” ์ž‘๋ณ„์„ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:31
He passed away on a Monday morning just before breakfast,
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์•„๋ฒ„์ง€๋Š” ์›”์š”์ผ ์•„์นจ์— ์•„์นจ์‹์‚ฌ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์ „์— ๋Œ์•„๊ฐ€์…จ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:34
and after the doctor came
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๊ทธ ํ›„ ์˜์‚ฌ๊ฐ€ ๋„์ฐฉํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:36
and we waited for the funeral home,
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์žฅ๋ก€์ง„ํ–‰ํ•˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๊ธฐ๋‹ค๋ ธ์ฃ .
10:39
I went into the kitchen, and I ate a big bowl of porridge.
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์ €๋Š” ๋ถ€์—Œ์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ€์„œ ์ฃฝ ํ•œ๊ทธ๋ฆ‡์„ ๋จน์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
10:45
When I told some of my friends this, they were really shocked.
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์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ด ์‚ฌ์‹ค์„ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐํ–ˆ๋”๋‹ˆ ๋ฌด์ฒ™ ๋†€๋ผ๋”๊ตฐ์š”.
10:48
"How could you eat at a time like that?"
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"๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๋•Œ์— ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋ฐฅ์„ ๋จน์„ ์ˆ˜๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๋‹ˆ?"
10:53
Well, I was hungry.
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๊ธ€์Ž„์š”, ์ „ ๋ฐฐ๊ณ ํŒ ์œผ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
10:56
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
11:00
You see, grief impacted my sleep and my ability to concentrate,
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์Šฌํ””์€ ์ž ๊ณผ ์ง‘์ค‘๋ ฅ์—๋Š” ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ์ค˜๋„
11:04
but it never impacted my stomach. I was always hungry.
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์ œ ๋ฐฐ๊ณ ํ”ˆ ์œ„์—๋Š” ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ์•ˆ์ฃผ๋”๋ผ๊ณ ์š”. ์ „ ํ•ญ์ƒ ๋ฐฐ๊ฐ€ ๊ณ ํ”„๊ฑฐ๋“ ์š”.
11:08
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
11:09
It's different for all of us,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฆ…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:10
and it's really important that we acknowledge that.
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๋‹ค๋ฅด๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ธ์ง€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ •๋ง ์ค‘์š”ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:14
So if we don't talk about our death and the death of loved ones,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ์˜ ์ฃฝ์Œ๊ณผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด์˜ ์ฃฝ์Œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค๋ฉด
11:17
how can we possibly support a friend, a colleague, a neighbor
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์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์นœ๊ตฌ, ๋™๋ฃŒ, ์ด์›ƒ์ด ์Šฌํ””์— ์ž ๊ฒจ์žˆ์„ ๋•Œ
11:22
who is grieving?
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๋„์›€์ด ๋ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
11:23
How do we support someone who has lost someone suddenly,
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๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ๊ฐ‘์ž๊ธฐ ์žƒ์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ๋„์šธ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„๊นŒ์š”?
11:26
like an accident or suicide?
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์‚ฌ๊ณ ๋‚˜ ์ž์‚ด์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ๊ฐ‘์ž‘์Šค๋Ÿฐ ์ฃฝ์Œ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:29
We tend to avoid them ...
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ทธ๋“ค์„ ํ”ผํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒฝํ–ฅ์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:32
not because we don't care,
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๋งˆ์Œ์„ ์“ฐ์ง€ ์•Š์•„์„œ๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ์—์š”.
11:34
because we don't know what to say.
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๋ฌด์Šจ ๋ง์„ ํ•ด์•ผํ• ์ง€ ๋ชฐ๋ผ์„œ ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:37
We know as a friend we can't fix it,
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์นœ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ๋ฐ”๊ฟ€์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:40
we can't take away that pain,
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๊ณ ํ†ต์„ ์—†์• ์ค„ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋„ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:43
so we say things to fill that awkward silence,
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์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์–ด์ƒ‰ํ•œ ์นจ๋ฌต์„ ์ฑ„์šฐ๋ ค ๋ง์„ ํ•˜์ฃ .
11:46
sometimes things we regret saying.
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๋‚˜์ค‘์— ํ›„ํšŒํ•  ๋ง๋“ค์„ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
11:49
Examples would be:
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์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋ง๋“ค ์ด์ฃ .
11:53
"At least he isn't suffering anymore."
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"์ ์–ด๋„ ๋”์ด์ƒ ๊ณ ํ†ต๋ฐ›์ง„ ์•Š์œผ์‹œ์ž–์•„."
11:56
"At least you've got your memories."
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"์ ์–ด๋„ ๋„ˆ์˜ ๊ธฐ์–ต ์†์— ๊ณ„์‹œ์ž–์•„."
12:00
"At least you don't have to pay for hospital parking anymore."
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"์ ์–ด๋„ ๋ณ‘์›์ฃผ์ฐจ๋น„๋Š” ์•ˆ๋‚ด๋„ ๋˜์ž–์•„."
12:03
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
12:05
Really, we don't need to say anything.
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์ •๋ง ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์•„๋ฌด๋ง ์•ˆํ•ด๋„ ๋˜์š”.
12:08
We just need to be.
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๊ทธ์ € ์˜†์— ์žˆ์–ด์ฃผ๋ฉด ๋˜์š”.
12:11
Be patient,
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์ธ๋‚ดํ•˜๋ฉฐ
12:13
be understanding,
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์ดํ•ดํ•ด์ฃผ๋ฉฐ
12:15
and be a listener.
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๋“ค์–ด์ฃผ๋ฉด ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:17
And if you can't be any of those things,
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๋งŒ์ผ ์•„๋ฌด๊ฒƒ๋„ ํ•ด์ค„ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค๋ฉด
12:20
then please, be the person who makes the lasagna, the curry or the casserole,
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๋ผ์ž๋ƒ, ์นด๋ ˆ, ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์Œ์‹๋“ค์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด์ฃผ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์ด ๋˜์„ธ์š”.
12:25
because your offerings will be greatly appreciated.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์Œ์‹์„ ๋ฌด์ฒ™ ๊ฐ์‚ฌํ• ํ…Œ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ์š”.
12:27
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
12:29
I've been to 10 funerals in the last year,
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์ „ ์ž‘๋…„์—๋งŒ 10๊ตฐ๋ฐ์˜ ์žฅ๋ก€์‹์— ๊ฐ”๋‹ค์™”์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:32
one of which I helped arrange.
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๊ทธ์ค‘ ํ•˜๋‚˜๋Š” ์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ค€๋น„ํ–ˆ์ฃ .
12:34
They ran the full gamut:
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๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์„ ํ•˜๋”๋ผ๊ณ ์š”.
12:36
a very solemn Greek Orthodox service,
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๋งค์šฐ ์—„์ˆ™ํ•œ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ์Šค ์ •๊ต ์˜์‹
12:38
four Catholic requiem masses
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๋„ค๋ฒˆ์˜ ์นดํ†จ๋ฆญ ์ถ”๋„ ๋ฏธ์‚ฌ
12:41
and a garden party
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๊ฐ€๋“  ํŒŒํ‹ฐ
12:43
where I made a toast while scattering my friend's ashes around her garden
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์ „ ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ์„œ ์นœ๊ตฌ์˜ ์žฌ๋ฅผ ์ •์›์— ๋ฟŒ๋ฆฌ๋ฉฐ ์ถ•๋ณตํ•˜๋ฉฐ ๊ฑด๋ฐฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:47
with a soup ladle.
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๊ตญ์ž๋กœ ์žฌ๋ฅผ ๋ฟŒ๋ฆฌ๋ฉด์„œ์š”.
12:48
(Laughter)
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(์›ƒ์Œ)
12:50
I have carried, kissed, written on and toasted coffins with a shot of ouzo.
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๊ทธ๋ฆฌ์Šค ์ˆ  ์šฐ์กฐ๋ฅผ ๋“ค๊ณ  ๋‹ค๋‹ˆ๋ฉฐ ๊ด€์— ์ž…๋งž์ถ”๊ณ  ๊ธ€์„ ์“ฐ๊ณ  ๊ฑด๋ฐฐํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
12:55
I have worn all black,
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์œ„์•„๋ž˜ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๊ฒ€์€ ์˜ท์„ ์ž…๊ธฐ๋„ ํ–ˆ๊ณ 
12:57
all color and a party dress.
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์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ ์ƒ‰์ฑ„์˜ ์˜ท๊ณผ ํŒŒํ‹ฐ๋“œ๋ ˆ์Šค๋„ ์ž…์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:00
Despite the vast differences in sendoff,
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์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ์ด๋ฅผ ๋– ๋‚˜๋ณด๋‚ด๋Š” ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ฐฉ์‹์„ ๋ณด๋ฉฐ,
13:02
despite me being at times out of my comfort zone
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์ต์ˆ™ํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•๋“ค์„ ๊ฒฝํ—˜ํ•˜๋ฉฐ
13:05
doing something I've never done before,
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์ „์— ํ•ด๋ณด์ง€๋„ ์•Š์€ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•๋“ค๋„ ํ•ด๋ณด๋ฉฐ
13:07
I drew comfort from one thing --
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์ €๋Š” ํ•œ๊ฐ€์ง€์— ๋งŒ์กฑํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:10
knowing that this is what each person would have wanted.
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์ด๊ฒƒ์€ ๊ณ ์ธ์ด ์›ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋ผ๋Š” ์‚ฌ์‹ค์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:15
So what do I want?
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์ด์ œ ์ €๋Š” ๋ญ˜ ์›ํ• ๊นŒ์š”?
13:17
Well, I like to be organized, so I have the will,
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์ €๋Š” ๊ณ„ํš์ ์ธ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋‹ˆ ์œ ์–ธ์žฅ์ด ์žˆ์ฃ .
13:21
I'm a registered organ donor, and I have my investment property.
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์ €๋Š” ์žฅ๊ธฐ๊ธฐ๋ถ€์ž๋กœ ๋“ฑ๋ก๋˜์–ด ์žˆ๊ณ  ์ œ ์ž๋ฆฌ์— ๋ถ€๋™์‚ฐ ํˆฌ์ž๋„ ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:25
All that is left is planning my sendoff,
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๋‚จ์€ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด๋ณ„์˜์‹๊ณผ
13:27
a big party, lots of champagne,
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ํฐ ํŒŒํ‹ฐ, ์ถฉ๋ถ„ํ•œ ์ƒดํŽ˜์ธ
13:31
color, laughter, and of course, music to remember me by.
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์ƒ‰์ฑ„, ์›ƒ์Œ, ๋ฌผ๋ก  ์ €๋ฅผ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•ด์ค„ ์Œ์•…์ด ์žˆ์–ด์•ผ๊ฒ ์ฃ .
13:35
Thank you.
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๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
13:36
(Applause)
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(๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

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