Why Having Fun Is the Secret to a Healthier Life | Catherine Price | TED

2,529,916 views ใƒป 2022-07-21

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ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

ืชืจื’ื•ื: zeeva livshitz ืขืจื™ื›ื”: Ido Dekkers
00:03
You know what's a lot harder than it seems like it should be?
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ืืชื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืžื” ื”ืจื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืงืฉื” ืžืžื” ืฉื ืจืื”, ื›ืžื• ืฉืฆืจื™ืš ืœื”ื™ื•ืช?
00:07
Actually feeling alive.
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ื–ื” ื‘ืขืฆื ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ื—ื™.
00:10
And what I mean by that is that we are all constantly doing,
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ื•ืœืžื” ืฉืื ื™ ืžืชื›ื•ื•ื ืช ื‘ื–ื” ื–ื” ืฉื›ื•ืœื ื• ืขื•ืฉื™ื ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ,
00:15
or, at least, we're constantly scrolling.
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ืื•, ืœืคื—ื•ืช, ืื ื—ื ื• ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ ื’ื•ืœืœื™ื.
00:17
But we're not necessarily living.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ื‘ื”ื›ืจื— ื—ื™ื™ื.
00:19
You know, we keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion,
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืขืกื™ืงื™ื ืืช ืขืฆืžื ื• ืขื“ ื›ื“ื™ ืขื™ื™ืคื•ืช,
00:23
but we're also languishing.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ื’ื ืžืชื ื•ื•ื ื™ื.
ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื™ื ืงืฆืช ืžืชื™ื ืžื‘ืคื ื™ื. ื•ืื ื™ ื—ื•ืฉื‘ืช
00:25
We feel a little bid dead inside.
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ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืืช ื–ื”, ื‘ืจืžื” ืžืกื•ื™ืžืช.
00:27
And I think we know that, on some level.
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00:29
I think that's part of the reason
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ืื ื™ ื—ื•ืฉื‘ืช ืฉื–ื” ื—ืœืง ืžื”ืกื™ื‘ื”
00:31
we keep ourselves so busy and distracted to begin with.
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ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืžืขืกื™ืงื™ื ืืช ืขืฆืžื ื• ื•ื“ืขืชื ื• ืžื•ืกื—ืช ืžืœื›ืชื—ื™ืœื”.
00:33
But we don't know what to do about it.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืžื” ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื‘ื ื™ื“ื•ืŸ.
00:36
So I'm here to tell you I figured out what to do about it.
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ืื– ืื ื™ ื›ืืŸ ื›ื“ื™ ืœืกืคืจ ืœื›ื ืฉื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืžื” ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื‘ื ื™ื“ื•ืŸ.
00:41
We need to have more fun.
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ.
00:44
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
00:46
(Cheers and applause)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
00:50
So you might think that you're already having plenty of fun,
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ืื– ืื•ืœื™ ืืชื ื—ื•ืฉื‘ื™ื ืฉืืชื ื›ื‘ืจ ื ื”ื ื™ื ืžืื•ื“,
00:53
and that's because in our everyday speech,
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ื•ื–ื” ื›ื™ ื‘ื“ื™ื‘ื•ืจ ื”ื™ื•ืžื™ื•ืžื™, ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ืื ื•
00:55
we often use the word "fun" to describe anything we do with our leisure time,
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ืžืชืืจื™ื ื›โ€œื›ื™ืฃโ€ืืช ื›ืœ ืžื” ืฉืื ื• ืขื•ืฉื™ื ืขื ืฉืขื•ืช ื”ืคื ืื™ ืฉืœื ื•.
01:00
even if it's not actually enjoyable, and, in fact, a waste of time.
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ื’ื ืื ื–ื” ืœื ืžืžืฉ ืžื”ื ื”, ื•ืœืžืขืฉื”, ื–ื” ื‘ื–ื‘ื•ื– ื–ืžืŸ.
01:03
So for example, we scroll through social media "for fun,"
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ื›ืš ืœืžืฉืœ ืื ื• ื’ื•ืœืœื™ื ื‘ืžื“ื™ื” ื”ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ืช โ€œื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ื”ื›ื™ืฃโ€
01:08
even though doing so often makes us feel bad about, like, kind of everything.
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ืœืžืจื•ืช ืฉืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ื–ื” ื’ื•ืจื ืœื ื• ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ืจืข ืœื’ื‘ื™, ื‘ืขืจืš, ื›ืœ ืกื•ื’ ืฉืœ ื›ืœ ื“ื‘ืจ
01:13
Or we'll say, "That was so fun. We should do that again soon" --
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ืื• ืฉื ื’ื™ื“, โ€œื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื›ื™ืฃ. ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ืืช ื–ื” ืฉื•ื‘ ื‘ืงืจื•ื‘โ€ --
01:17
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
01:20
... in response to things that weren't that fun
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... ื‘ืชื’ื•ื‘ื” ืœื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉืœื ื”ื™ื• ื›ื–ื” ื›ื™ืฃ
01:23
and that we don't want to do again, ever.
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ื•ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืจื•ืฆื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ืฉื•ื‘, ืœืขื•ืœื.
01:26
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
01:28
But it's not really our fault that we're a little bit sloppy
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ืื‘ืœ ื–ื” ืœื ื‘ืืžืช ื‘ืืฉืžืชื ื• ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืงืฆืช ืžืจื•ืฉืœื™ื
ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ืฉื‘ื• ืื ื• ืžืฉืชืžืฉื™ื ื‘ืžื™ืœื” โ€œื›ื™ืฃโ€œ,
01:31
about how we use the word "fun,"
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ื›ื™ ืืคื™ืœื• ื”ืžื™ืœื•ืŸ ืœื ืžื‘ื™ืŸ ืืช ื–ื” ื ื›ื•ืŸ.
01:33
because even the dictionary doesn't get it quite right.
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01:35
It says that fun is amusement or enjoyment,
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ื”ื•ื ืื•ืžืจ ืฉื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ืฉืขืฉื•ืข ืื• ื”ื ืื”,
01:38
or lighthearted pleasure.
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ืื• ื”ื ืื” ืงืœื™ืœื”.
01:40
It's something for kids to have in play areas.
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ื–ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ืœื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉื™ืฉ ื‘ืื–ื•ืจื™ ืžืฉื—ืง.
01:43
It makes it sound like it's frivolous and optional.
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ื–ื” ื’ื•ืจื ืœื–ื” ืœื”ื™ืฉืžืข ื›ืื™ืœื• ื–ื” ืงืœ ื“ืขืช ื•ืื•ืคืฆื™ื•ื ืœื™.
01:48
But if you think back on your own memories
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ืืชื ื—ื•ืฉื‘ื™ื ืื—ื•ืจื” ืขืœ ื”ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉืœื›ื
01:50
that stand out to you as having truly been fun --
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ืฉืžืชื‘ืœื˜ื™ื ืœื›ื ื›ืื™ืœื• ื‘ืืžืช ื”ื™ื• ื›ื™ืฃ --
01:53
and I really encourage you to do this --
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ื•ืื ื™ ื‘ืืžืช ืžืžืœื™ืฆื” ืœื›ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ืืช ื–ื” --
01:55
the memories that you would describe as --
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ื”ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื ืžืชืืจื™ื ื› --
01:57
and forgive me for scientific terminology --
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ื•ืชืกืœื—ื• ืœื™ ืขืœ ื”ืžื™ื ื•ื— ื”ืžื“ืขื™ --
01:59
"so fun" --
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ื›โ€œื›ืœ ื›ืš ื›ื™ืฃโ€ --
02:01
you're going to notice there's something much deeper going on.
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ืืชื ื”ื•ืœื›ื™ื ืœืฉื™ื ืœื‘ ืฉืงื•ืจื” ืžืฉื”ื• ื”ืจื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืขืžื•ืง.
02:05
I've collected thousands of these stories from people all around the world,
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ืืกืคืชื™ ืืœืคื™ ืกื™ืคื•ืจื™ื ื›ืืœื” ืžืื ืฉื™ื ื‘ื›ืœ ืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื,
02:08
and I can tell you it's amazing,
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ื•ืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื•ืžืจ ืœื›ื ืฉื–ื” ืžื“ื”ื™ื,
02:10
because when people recount the memories in which they had the most fun,
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ื›ื™ ื›ืฉืื ืฉื™ื ืžืกืคืจื™ื ืืช ื”ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ื ื•ืช ืฉื‘ื”ื ื”ื ื”ื›ื™ ื ื”ื ื•,
02:14
they tell you about some of the most joyful and treasured
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ื”ื ืžืกืคืจื™ื ืœืš ืขืœ ื›ืžื” ืžื”ืžืฉืžื—ื™ื ื•ื”ืื”ื•ื‘ื™ื
02:17
memories of their lives.
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ื‘ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ื ื•ืช ื—ื™ื™ื”ื.
02:20
So in reality, fun is not just lighthearted pleasure.
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ืื– ื‘ืžืฆื™ืื•ืช, ื›ื™ืฃ ื–ื” ืœื ืจืง ืชืขื ื•ื’ ืงืœื™ืœ.
02:25
It's not just for kids,
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ื–ื” ืœื ืจืง ืœื™ืœื“ื™ื,
02:26
and it is definitely not frivolous.
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ื•ื–ื” ื‘ื”ื—ืœื˜ ืœื ืงืœ ืขืจืš.
02:29
Instead, fun is the secret to feeling alive.
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ื–ืืช, ื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ื”ืกื•ื“ ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ื—ื™.
02:35
So today, I want to propose to you
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ืื– ื”ื™ื•ื, ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ืฆื™ืข ืœื›ื
02:36
a new, more precise definition of what fun is.
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ื”ื’ื“ืจื” ื—ื“ืฉื” ื•ืžื“ื•ื™ืงืช ื™ื•ืชืจ ืฉืœ ืžื” ื–ื” ื›ื™ืฃ.
02:40
I want to reveal some of the ways in which it is astonishingly good for us,
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ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื—ืฉื•ืฃ ื›ืžื” ืžื”ื“ืจื›ื™ื ืฉื‘ื”ืŸ ื–ื” ืขื•ืฉื” ืœื ื• ื˜ื•ื‘ ืœื”ืคืœื™ื,
02:44
and I want to give you all some suggestions
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ื•ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ืฆื™ืข ืœื›ื•ืœื ื›ืžื” ื”ืฆืขื•ืช
ืœื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื”ื—ืœ ืžืขื›ืฉื™ื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื—ื•ื•ืช ืืช ื›ื•ื—ื• ื‘ืขืฆืžื›ื.
02:46
for things you can do starting right now to experience its power for yourself.
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02:51
So the first thing we need to start with
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ืื– ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืื™ืชื•
02:53
is the fact that fun is a feeling, and it's not an activity.
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ื”ื•ื ื”ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ืฉื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ืชื—ื•ืฉื”, ื•ื–ื” ืœื ืคืขื™ืœื•ืช.
02:57
And that's important,
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ื•ื–ื” ื—ืฉื•ื‘,
02:59
because a lot of times, when I ask people what's fun,
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ื›ื™ ื”ืจื‘ื” ืคืขืžื™ื, ื›ืฉืื ื™ ืฉื•ืืœืช ืื ืฉื™ื ืžื” ื›ื™ืฃ,
03:02
they'll respond with a list of activities that they enjoy.
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ื”ื ื™ื’ื™ื‘ื• ืขื ืจืฉื™ืžื” ืฉืœ ืคืขื™ืœื•ื™ื•ืช ืฉื”ื ื ื”ื ื™ื ืžื”ื.
03:05
You know, they'll say, "Dancing is fun," or "Skiing is fun," or, I don't know,
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ืืชื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื, ื”ื ื™ื’ื™ื“ื•, โ€œืœืจืงื•ื“ ื–ื” ื›ื™ืฃ,โ€ ืื• โ€œืกืงื™ ื–ื” ื›ื™ืฃโ€œ, ืื•, ืื ื™ ืœื ื™ื•ื“ืขืช
03:08
"Pickleball is fun."
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โ€œืคื™ืงืœื‘ื•ืœ ื–ื” ื›ื™ืฃ.โ€
03:11
Everyone seems to think that pickleball is fun.
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ื ืจืื” ืฉื›ื•ืœื ื—ื•ืฉื‘ื™ื ืฉืคื™ืงืœื‘ื•ืœ ื–ื” ื›ื™ืฃ.
03:14
(Cheers and laughter)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื ื•ืฆื—ื•ืง)
03:18
And sure, pickleball can be fun,
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ื•ื‘ื˜ื—, ืคื™ืงืœื‘ื•ืœ ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื›ื™ืฃ,
03:20
but we've all had experiences where something's off,
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ืื‘ืœ ืœื›ื•ืœื ื• ื”ื™ื• ื—ื•ื•ื™ื•ืช ืฉื‘ื”ืŸ ืžืฉื”ื• ื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ ื›ื‘ื•ื™,
03:22
and an activity that seems like it would be fun
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ื•ืคืขื™ืœื•ืช ืฉื ืจืื™ืช ื›ืื™ืœื• ื–ื” ื™ื”ื™ื” ื›ื™ืฃ
ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ ืœื ื”ืจื’ื™ืฉื” ื›ื™ืฃ.
03:25
doesn't end up feeling fun.
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03:26
And then on the flip side,
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ื•ืื– ืœื”ื™ืคืš,
03:27
we've had experiences where something that doesn't seem like it'll be fun at all
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ื—ื•ื•ื™ื ื• ื—ื•ื•ื™ื•ืช ืฉื‘ื”ืŸ ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืœื ื ืจืื” ืฉื™ื”ื™ื” ื›ื™ืฃ ื‘ื›ืœืœ
03:31
ends up feeling ridiculously fun.
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ื‘ืกื•ืคื• ืฉืœ ื“ื‘ืจ ืžืจื’ื™ืฉ ื›ื™ืฃ ื‘ื˜ื™ืจื•ืฃ.
03:33
There's an element of serendipity.
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ื™ืฉ ืืœืžื ื˜ ืฉืœ ื’ื™ืœื•ื™ ืืงืจืื™.
03:35
But when people do have fun,
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉืื ืฉื™ื ื›ืŸ ื ื”ื ื™ื,
03:37
when they experience this feeling,
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ื›ืฉื”ื ื—ื•ื•ื™ื ืืช ื”ืชื—ื•ืฉื” ื”ื–ื•,
03:39
it's actually very easy to recognize,
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ืœืžืขืฉื” ืงืœ ืžืื•ื“ ืœื–ื”ื•ืช ืื•ืชื”,
03:40
because people who are having fun
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ื›ื™ ืื ืฉื™ื ืฉื ื”ื ื™ื
03:42
look like they're being illuminated from within.
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ื ืจืื™ื ื›ืื™ืœื• ื”ื ืžื•ืืจื™ื ืžื‘ืคื ื™ื.
03:46
So, for example,
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ืื–, ืœืžืฉืœ,
03:47
here is me and my husband having fun together.
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ื”ื ื” ืื ื™ ื•ื‘ืขืœื™ ื ื”ื ื™ื ื‘ื™ื—ื“.
03:50
Here are some presidents having fun together.
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ื”ื ื” ื›ืžื” ื ืฉื™ืื™ื ื ื”ื ื™ื ื‘ื™ื—ื“.
03:53
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
03:55
Hereโ€™s Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama having fun together.
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ื”ื ื” ื”ืืจื›ื™ื‘ื™ืฉื•ืฃ ื“ื–ืžื•ื ื“ ื˜ื•ื˜ื• ื•ื”ื“ืœืื™ ืœืืžื” ื ื”ื ื™ื ื‘ื™ื—ื“.
03:58
(Cheers and laughter)
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(ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื ื•ืฆื—ื•ืง)
04:00
Actually, those two seemed like they were very often, even constantly ...
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ืœืžืขืฉื”, ืฉื ื™ ืืœื” ื ืจืื• ื›ืื™ืœื• ื”ื ื”ื™ื• ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ืžืื•ื“, ืืคื™ืœื• ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ...
04:05
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
04:07
... having fun together.
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... ื ื”ื ื™ื ื‘ื™ื—ื“.
04:09
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
04:11
And as you can see in these photographs,
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ื•ื›ืคื™ ืฉืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืจืื•ืช ื‘ืชืžื•ื ื•ืช ื”ืืœื”,
04:13
true fun produces this visceral sense of lightness and joy.
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ื›ื™ืฃ ืืžื™ืชื™ ืžื™ื™ืฆืจ ืืช ื”ืชื—ื•ืฉื” ื”ืคื ื™ืžื™ืช ื”ื–ื• ืฉืœ ืงืœื™ืœื•ืช ื•ืฉืžื—ื”.
04:18
It's radiant.
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ื–ื” ืžืงืจื™ืŸ.
04:19
In fact, when I asked my daughter, when she was about five years old,
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ืœืžืขืฉื”, ื›ืฉืฉืืœืชื™ ืืช ื”ื‘ืช ืฉืœื™, ื›ืฉื”ื™ื™ืชื” ื‘ืช ื—ืžืฉ ื‘ืขืจืš,
ืื™ื–ื” ืฆื‘ืข ื›ื™ืฃ ื™ื”ื™ื”,
04:23
what color fun would be,
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04:24
she said "sunshine."
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ื”ื™ื ืืžืจื” โ€œืื•ืจ ื”ืฉืžืฉ.โ€
ืื– ืžื”ื• ืื•ืจ ื”ืฉืžืฉ ื”ื–ื”?
04:28
So what is this sunshine?
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04:29
You know? What is this feeling that we call "fun"?
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ืืชื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื? ืžื”ื™ ื”ื”ืจื’ืฉื” ื”ื–ื• ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืงื•ืจืื™ื ืœื” โ€œื›ื™ืฃโ€œ?
04:32
When people tell me their stories about fun,
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ื›ืฉืื ืฉื™ื ืžืกืคืจื™ื ืœื™ ืืช ื”ืกื™ืคื•ืจื™ื ืฉืœื”ื ืขืœ ื›ื™ืฃ,
04:34
it's really interesting, because the details are all different,
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ื–ื” ืžืžืฉ ืžืขื ื™ื™ืŸ, ื›ื™ ื”ืคืจื˜ื™ื ื›ื•ืœื ืฉื•ื ื™ื,
ื•ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ื“ื™ ืืจืฆื™ื™ื,
04:37
and often quite mundane,
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืื ืจื’ื™ื” ืฉืคื•ืขืœืช ื“ืจื›ื ื–ื”ื”.
04:38
but the energy running through them is the same.
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ื”ื™ื• ืฉืœื•ืฉื” ื’ื•ืจืžื™ื ืฉื ืžืฆืื™ื ื‘ืื•ืคืŸ ืขืงื‘ื™,
04:41
There were three factors that are consistently present,
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ืขื“ ืœื ืงื•ื“ื” ืฉืื ื™ ืžืืžื™ื ื” ืฉื”ื ืžื”ื•ื•ื™ื ื”ื’ื“ืจื” ื—ื“ืฉื”,
04:43
to the point that I believe they constitute a new definition,
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ืฉื”ื™ื ื”ืจื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื“ื•ื™ืงืช ืžืžื” ืฉื›ืชื•ื‘ ื‘ืžื™ืœื•ืŸ.
04:46
one that is a lot more accurate than what's in the dictionary.
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ื•ื”ื ืขืœื™ืฆื•ืช, ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ ื•ื–ืจื™ืžื”.
04:49
And those three factors are playfulness, connection and flow.
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04:54
So by playfulness,
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ืื– ื‘ืขืœื™ืฆื•ืช,
04:55
I do not mean you have to play games,
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ืื ื™ ืœื ืžืชื›ื•ื•ื ืช ืฉืืชื ืฆืจื™ื›ื™ื ืœืฉื—ืง ืžืฉื—ืงื™ื,
04:57
or, God forbid, make believe.
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ืื• ื—ืœื™ืœื”, ืœื“ืžื™ื™ืŸ.
05:00
I just mean having a lighthearted attitude
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ืื ื™ ืจืง ืžืชื›ื•ื•ืŸ ืœื’ื™ืฉื” ืงืœื™ืœื”
05:03
of doing things for the sake of doing them
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ืฉืœ ืขืฉื™ื™ืช ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœ ืœืขืฉื•ืช ืื•ืชื
05:05
and not caring too much about the outcome.
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ืžื‘ืœื™ ืฉื™ื”ื™ื” ืื›ืคืช ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื“ื™ ืžื”ืชื•ืฆืื”.
ืœืฉื—ืจืจ ืืช ื”ืคืจืคืงืฆื™ื•ื ื™ื–ื.
05:07
Letting go of perfectionism.
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ื›ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื ื”ื ื™ื, ื”ื”ื’ื ื•ืช ืฉืœื ื• ืžื•ืฉื‘ืชื•ืช,
05:09
When we have fun, our guard is down,
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05:11
and we're not taking ourselves too seriously.
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ื•ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืœื•ืงื—ื™ื ืืช ืขืฆืžื ื• ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื“ื™ ื‘ืจืฆื™ื ื•ืช.
05:14
Connection refers to the feeling of having a special, shared experience.
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ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ ืžืชื™ื™ื—ืก ืœืชื—ื•ืฉื” ืฉื™ืฉ ื—ื•ื•ื™ื” ืžื™ื•ื—ื“ืช ื•ืžืฉื•ืชืคืช.
05:17
And I do think it's possible, in some circumstances,
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ื•ืื ื™ ื›ืŸ ื—ื•ืฉื‘ืช ืฉืืคืฉืจ, ื‘ื ืกื™ื‘ื•ืช ืžืกื•ื™ืžื•ืช,
05:20
to have fun alone,
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ืœื”ื ื•ืช ืœื‘ื“,
05:21
and for this feeling of connection to be with yourself or the surroundings,
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ื•ืžืชื—ื•ืฉืช ื”ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ ื”ื–ื• ืฉืœ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืขื ืขืฆืžื›ื ืื• ืขื ื”ืกื‘ื™ื‘ื”,
05:25
or the activity.
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ืื• ื”ืคืขื™ืœื•ืช.
05:26
But in the majority of stories that people tell me
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ืื‘ืœ ื‘ืจื•ื‘ ื”ืกื™ืคื•ืจื™ื ืฉืื ืฉื™ื ืžืกืคืจื™ื ืœื™
05:28
about their peak fun memories,
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ืขืœ ืฉื™ื ื”ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ื ื•ืช ื”ืžื”ื ื™ื ืฉืœื”ื,
05:30
another person is involved.
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ืื“ื ืื—ืจ ืžืขื•ืจื‘.
05:32
And that's true even for introverts.
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ื•ื–ื” ื ื›ื•ืŸ ื’ื ืœื’ื‘ื™ ืžื•ืคื ืžื™ื.
05:34
And then flow is the state where we are so engaged and focused
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ื•ืื– ื–ืจื™ืžื” ื”ื™ื ื”ืžืฆื‘ ืฉื‘ื• ืื ื—ื ื• ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืžืขื•ืจื‘ื™ื ื•ืžืžื•ืงื“ื™ื
05:37
on whatever we're doing
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ื‘ืžื” ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืขื•ืฉื™ื
ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืืคื™ืœื• ืœืื‘ื“ ืืช ืชื—ื•ืฉืช ื”ื–ืžืŸ.
05:39
that we can even lose track of time.
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ืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืขืœ ืกืคื•ืจื˜ืื™ ื‘ืืžืฆืข ืžืฉื—ืง,
05:41
You can think about an athlete in the middle of a game,
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ืื• ืžื•ื–ื™ืงืื™ ืฉืžื ื’ืŸ ืงื˜ืข ืžื•ื–ื™ืงืœื™.
05:43
or a musician playing a piece of music.
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ื–ื” ื›ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื ืžืฆืื™ื ื‘ืชื—ื•ื.
05:45
It's when we're in the zone.
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ืืคืฉืจ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื–ืจื™ืžื” ื•ืœื ืœื”ื ื•ืช,
05:47
It's possible to be in flow and not have fun,
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05:49
like if you're arguing,
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ื›ืžื• ื›ืฉืืชื ืžืชื•ื•ื›ื—ื™ื,
05:51
but you cannot have fun if you're not in flow.
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ืื‘ืœ ืืชื ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ืื ืืชื ืœื ื‘ื–ืจื™ืžื”.
05:54
So playfulness, connection and flow all feel great on their own.
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ืื– ืขืœื™ืฆื•ืช, ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ ื•ื–ืจื™ืžื” ื›ื•ืœื ืžืจื’ื™ืฉื™ื ื ื”ื“ืจ ื‘ืคื ื™ ืขืฆืžื.
05:57
But when we experience all three at once,
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื—ื•ื•ื™ื ืืช ืฉืœื•ืฉืชื ื‘ื‘ืช ืื—ืช,
06:00
something magical happens.
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ืžืฉื”ื• ืงืกื•ื ืงื•ืจื”.
06:02
We have fun.
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ืื ื—ื ื• ื ื”ื ื™ื.
06:04
And that doesn't just feel good,
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ื•ื–ื” ืœื ืจืง ืžืจื’ื™ืฉ ื˜ื•ื‘,
06:06
it is good for us.
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ื–ื” ื˜ื•ื‘ ืœื ื•.
06:08
In fact, fun does so many amazingly good things for us
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ืœืžืขืฉื”, ื›ื™ืฃ ืขื•ืฉื” ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื˜ื•ื‘ื™ื ืขื‘ื•ืจื ื•
06:11
that I personally believe that fun is not just the result of human thriving,
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ืฉืื ื™ ืื™ืฉื™ืช ืžืืžื™ื ื” ืฉื›ื™ืฃ ื–ื” ืœื ืจืง ืชื•ืฆืื” ืฉืœ ืฉื’ืฉื•ื’ ืื ื•ืฉื™,
06:15
it's a cause.
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ื”ื•ื ืกื™ื‘ื”.
06:17
So, for example, fun is energizing.
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ืื–, ืœืžืฉืœ, ื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ืžืžืจื™ืฅ.
06:20
When people tell me their stories about fun, they glow.
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ื›ืฉืื ืฉื™ื ืžืกืคืจื™ื ืœื™ ืืช ื”ืกื™ืคื•ืจื™ื ืฉืœื”ื ืขืœ ื›ื™ืฃ, ื”ื ื–ื•ื”ืจื™ื.
06:23
It is like a fire has been lit inside of them,
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ื›ืื™ืœื• ืืฉ ื ื“ืœืงื” ื‘ืชื•ื›ื,
06:26
and the energy and the warmth that they give off is contagious.
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ื•ื”ืื ืจื’ื™ื” ื•ื”ื—ื•ื ืฉื”ื ืžืคื–ืจื™ื, ืžื“ื‘ืงื™ื.
06:29
You know, so much of life drains us,
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ื›ืœ ื›ืš ื”ืจื‘ื” ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ืžืจื•ืงื ื™ื ืื•ืชื ื•,
06:31
but fun fills us up.
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ื™ืฃ ืžืžืœื ืื•ืชื ื•.
06:33
Fun also makes us present.
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ื›ื™ืฃ ื’ื ื’ื•ืจื ืœื ื• ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื ื•ื›ื—ื™ื.
06:35
A lot of us put a lot of work into trying to be more present --
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ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžืื™ืชื ื• ื”ืฉืงื™ืขื• ื”ืจื‘ื” ืขื‘ื•ื“ื” ื‘ื ืกื™ื•ืŸ ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื ื•ื›ื—ื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ --
ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืชืจื’ืœื™ื ื™ื•ื’ื”, ืžื“ื™ื˜ืฆื™ื”, ื•ื–ื” ื”ื›ืœ ื ื”ื“ืจ,
06:39
we do yoga classes, we meditate, and that is all great,
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06:41
but the fact that fun is a flow state means that when we are having fun,
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ืฉื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ืžืฆื‘ ื–ืจื™ืžื”, ืื•ืžืจ ืฉื›ืืฉืจ ืื ื—ื ื• ื ื”ื ื™ื,
06:45
we simply are present.
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืคืฉื•ื˜ ื ื•ื›ื—ื™ื.
06:47
There's no other way for it to happen.
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ืื™ืŸ ื“ืจืš ืื—ืจืช ืฉื–ื” ื™ืงืจื”.
06:50
Fun also unites us.
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ื›ื™ืฃ ื’ื ืžืื—ื“ ืื•ืชื ื•.
06:52
We live in a really polarized world,
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ืื ื—ื ื• ื—ื™ื™ื ื‘ืขื•ืœื ืžืžืฉ ืžืงื•ื˜ื‘,
06:54
and as we all know, there's a lot of very serious problems.
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ื•ื›ืคื™ ืฉื›ื•ืœื ื• ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื, ื™ืฉ ื”ืจื‘ื” ืžืื•ื“ ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ืจืฆื™ื ื™ื•ืช.
06:57
But when we have fun with people,
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื ื”ื ื™ื ืขื ืื ืฉื™ื,
06:59
we don't see them as different political parties,
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืจื•ืื™ื ืื•ืชื ื›ืžืคืœื’ื•ืช ืคื•ืœื™ื˜ื™ื•ืช ืฉื•ื ื•ืช,
ืื• ืœืื•ืžื™ื ืื• ื“ืชื•ืช.
07:02
or nationalities or religions.
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07:03
We connect with them as human beings,
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืžืชื—ื‘ืจื™ื ืืœื™ื”ื ื›ื‘ื ื™ ืื“ื,
07:06
and it's worth noting that that is the first step
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ื•ืจืื•ื™ ืœืฆื™ื™ืŸ ืฉื–ื” ื”ืฆืขื“ ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ
07:09
in being able to work together to solve those problems.
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ื‘ื™ื›ื•ืœืช ืœืขื‘ื•ื“ ื™ื—ื“ ื›ื“ื™ ืœืคืชื•ืจ ืืช ื”ื‘ืขื™ื•ืช ื”ืœืœื•.
07:13
Fun also makes us healthier.
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ื›ื™ืฃ ื’ื ืขื•ืฉื” ืื•ืชื ื• ื‘ืจื™ืื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ.
07:15
Being lonely and stressed out,
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ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื•ื“ื“ื™ื ื•ืœื—ื•ืฆื™ื,
07:17
as many of us have been for the past two years,
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ื›ืคื™ ืฉืจื‘ื™ื ืžืื™ืชื ื• ื”ื™ื• ื‘ืฉื ืชื™ื™ื ื”ืื—ืจื•ื ื•ืช,
07:20
causes hormonal changes in our bodies that increase our risks for disease.
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ื’ื•ืจื ืœืฉื™ื ื•ื™ื™ื ื”ื•ืจืžื•ื ืœื™ื™ื ื‘ื’ื•ืคื ื• ืฉืžื’ื“ื™ืœื™ื ืืช ื”ืกื™ื›ื•ื ื™ื ืฉืœื ื• ืœืžื—ืœื•ืช.
07:24
But when we have fun,
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ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉื ื”ื ื™ื,
07:25
we're relaxed and we're more socially connected,
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืจื’ื•ืขื™ื ื•ืื ื—ื ื• ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื—ื•ื‘ืจื™ื ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ืช,
07:28
both of which have the opposite effect.
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ืœืฉื ื™ื”ื ื”ืฉืคืขื” ื”ืคื•ื›ื”.
07:31
So, kind of blows my mind every time I think about it this way,
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ืื–, ื–ื” ืื™ื›ืฉื”ื• ืžืคื•ืฆืฅ ืืช ื“ืขืชื™ ื‘ื›ืœ ืคืขื ืฉืื ื™ ื—ื•ืฉื‘ืช ืขืœ ื–ื” ื›ื›ื”,
07:34
but having fun is a health intervention.
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ืื‘ืœ ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ื–ื• ื”ืชืขืจื‘ื•ืช ื‘ืจื™ืื•ืชื™ืช.
07:37
And then, lastly, fun is joyful.
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ื•ืื–, ืœื‘ืกื•ืฃ, ื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ืžืฉืžื—.
07:39
You know, we all so desperately want to be happy.
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ื›ื•ืœื ื• ื›ืœ ื›ืš ืจื•ืฆื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืฉืžื—ื™ื.
ืื ื—ื ื• ืงื•ืจืื™ื ืกืคืจื™ื ืขืœ ืื•ืฉืจ,
07:42
We read books about happiness,
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07:43
we download apps about happiness,
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ืื ื—ื ื• ืžื•ืจื™ื“ื™ื ืืคืœื™ืงืฆื™ื•ืช ืขืœ ืื•ืฉืจ,
ืื‘ืœ ื›ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื‘ืจื’ืข ืฉืœ ื›ื™ืฃ, ืื ื—ื ื• ืฉืžื—ื™ื.
07:45
but when we are in a moment of having fun, we are happy.
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07:49
So it makes me think that, perhaps,
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ืื– ื–ื” ื’ื•ืจื ืœื™ ืœื—ืฉื•ื‘ ืฉืื•ืœื™,
ื”ืกื•ื“ ืœืื•ืฉืจ ืœื˜ื•ื•ื— ืืจื•ืš
07:51
the secret to long-term happiness
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07:52
is just to have more everyday moments of fun.
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ื”ื•ื ืจืง ืœืงื‘ืœ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืจื’ืขื™ ื›ื™ืฃ ื™ื•ืžื™ื•ืžื™ื™ื.
07:55
So how do we do that?
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ืื– ืื™ืš ืื ื—ื ื• ืขื•ืฉื™ื ืืช ื–ื”?
07:57
How do we have more fun?
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ืื™ืš ื ื”ื ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ?
07:58
Well, to start with,
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ื•ื‘ื›ืŸ, ื›ื”ืชื—ืœื”,
08:00
do not take the suggestions you'll find in magazine articles
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ืืœ ืชื™ืงื—ื• ืืช ื”ื”ืฆืขื•ืช ืฉืชืžืฆืื• ื‘ืžืืžืจื™ ืžื’ื–ื™ื ื™ื
08:03
about how to have more fun.
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ืขืœ ืื™ืš ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ.
08:04
I looked at some of these myself,
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ื”ืกืชื›ืœืชื™ ืขืœ ื›ืžื” ื›ืืœื” ื‘ืขืฆืžื™,
08:06
and I found suggestions that include -- and I'm not making these up --
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ื•ืžืฆืืชื™ ื”ืฆืขื•ืช ื”ื›ื•ืœืœื•ืช -- ื•ืื ื™ ืœื ืžืžืฆื™ืื” ืืช ืืœื” --
08:09
"roast a turkey."
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โ€œืฆืœื• ืชืจื ื’ื•ืœ ื”ื•ื“ื•.โ€
08:11
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
08:14
"Put together an altar to loved ones who have passed."
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โ€œื”ืจื›ื™ื‘ื• ืžื–ื‘ื— ืœืื”ื•ื‘ื™ื ืฉืขื‘ืจื• ืžื”ื—ื™ื™ืโ€œ.
08:16
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
08:20
โ€œWatch a documentary about climate change.โ€
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โ€œืฆืคื• ื‘ืกืจื˜ ื“ื•ืงื•ืžื ื˜ืจื™ ืขืœ ืฉื™ื ื•ื™ื™ ืืงืœื™ืโ€œ.
08:23
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
08:26
And my personal favorite,
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ื•ื”ืžื•ืขื“ืฃ ื”ืื™ืฉื™ ืฉืœื™,
08:28
"Adorn your table with gourds."
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โ€œืงืฉื˜ื• ืืช ืฉื•ืœื—ื ื›ื ื‘ื“ืœืขื•ืช.โ€
08:29
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
08:31
Those are not good suggestions.
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ืืœื” ืœื ื”ืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ื‘ื•ืช.
08:35
Instead, the most effective thing you can do to have more fun
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ื‘ืžืงื•ื ื–ื”, ื”ื“ื‘ืจ ื”ื™ืขื™ืœ ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ ืฉืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื›ื“ื™ ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ
08:38
is to focus on its ingredients, by which I mean,
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ื”ื•ื ืœื”ืชืžืงื“ ื‘ืžืจื›ื™ื‘ื™ื ืฉืœ ื”ื›ื™ืฃ, ื‘ื›ืš ืื ื™ ืžืชื›ื•ื•ื ืช,
08:41
do everything you can to fill your life with more moments of playfulness,
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ืขืฉื• ื›ืœ ืžื” ืฉืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ื›ื“ื™ ืœืžืœื ืืช ื—ื™ื™ื›ื ืขื ืขื•ื“ ืจื’ืขื™ื ืฉืœ ืขืœื™ืฆื•ืช.
08:44
connection and flow.
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ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ ื•ื–ืจื™ืžื”
08:46
So here are some ideas for how to do so.
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ืื– ื”ื ื” ื›ืžื” ืจืขื™ื•ื ื•ืช ืื™ืš ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื–ืืช.
08:48
To start with, reduce distractions in order to increase flow.
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ืจืืฉื™ืช, ืฆืžืฆืžื• ืืช ื”ืกื—ื•ืช ื”ื“ืขืช ืขืœ ืžื ืช ืœื”ื’ื‘ื™ืจ ืืช ื”ื–ืจื™ืžื”.
08:52
Anything that distracts you is going to kick you out of flow
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ื›ืœ ื“ื‘ืจ ืฉืžืกื™ื— ืืช ื“ืขืชื›ื ื”ื•ืœืš ืœื”ืขื™ืฃ ืืชื›ื ืžื”ื–ืจื™ืžื”
08:54
and prevent you from having fun.
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ื•ืœืžื ื•ืข ืžื›ื ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช.
08:56
And what's the number one source of distraction
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ื•ืžื” ืžืงื•ืจ ืžืกืคืจ ืื—ื“ ืฉืœ ื”ืกื—ืช ื“ืขืช
08:58
for most of us, these days?
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ืขื‘ื•ืจ ืจื•ื‘ื ื•, ื‘ื™ืžื™ื ืืœื”?
09:00
Oh, thank you.
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ื”ื• ืชื•ื“ื”.
09:01
(Laughs)
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(ืฆื•ื—ืงืช)
ื–ื” ื”ื™ื” ืจื˜ื•ืจื™, ืื‘ืœ ื›ืŸ, ื”ื˜ืœืคื•ื ื™ื ืฉืœื›ื.
09:03
It was rhetorical, but yes, your phones.
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09:04
(Laughs)
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(ืฆื•ื—ืงืช)
ื›ืชื‘ืชื™ ืกืคืจ ื‘ืฉื โ€œืื™ืš ืœื”ื™ืคืจื“ ืžื”ื˜ืœืคื•ืŸ ืฉืœืš,โ€
09:06
I wrote a book called "How to Break Up With Your Phone,"
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09:09
so I have strong feelings about this,
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ืื– ื™ืฉ ืœื™ ืจื’ืฉื•ืช ืขื–ื™ื ืœื’ื‘ื™ ื–ื”,
09:11
but I can guarantee you that you are not going to have fun
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื”ื‘ื˜ื™ื— ืœื›ื ืฉืืชื ืœื ื”ื•ืœื›ื™ื ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช
09:13
if you're constantly on your phone.
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ืื ืืชื ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ ื‘ื˜ืœืคื•ืŸ ืฉืœื›ื.
09:16
So today, I want to challenge you to keep your phone out of your hand
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ืื– ื”ื™ื•ื, ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœืืชื’ืจ ืืชื›ื ืœื”ืจื—ื™ืง ืืช ื”ื˜ืœืคื•ืŸ ืžื”ื™ื“ ืฉืœื›ื
ืขื“ ื›ืžื” ืฉื ื™ืชืŸ,
09:19
as much as possible,
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ื›ื“ื™ ืฉืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœื”ืกื›ื™ื ืืชื™ ืขืœ ื”ื”ืฆืขื” ื”ืฉื ื™ื™ื” ืฉืœื™,
09:20
so you can take me up on my second suggestion,
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ืฉื”ื™ื ืœื”ื’ื‘ื™ืจ ืืช ื”ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ
09:23
which is to increase connection
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ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืื™ื ื˜ืจืืงืฆื™ื” ื ื•ืกืคืช ืขื ื‘ื ื™ ืื“ื ืื—ืจื™ื ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ื”ืืžื™ืชื™ื™ื.
09:24
by interacting more with other human beings in real life.
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09:27
Now, I know that one of the main reasons we're constantly on our phones
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืื ื™ ื™ื•ื“ืขืช ืฉืื—ืช ื”ืกื™ื‘ื•ืช ื”ืขื™ืงืจื™ื•ืช ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื›ืœ ื”ื–ืžืŸ ื‘ื˜ืœืคื•ื ื™ื ืฉืœื ื•
09:31
is specifically to avoid having to spend time
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ื”ื™ื ืกืคืฆื™ืคื™ืช ืœื”ื™ืžื ืข ืžื”ืฆื•ืจืš ืœื‘ืœื•ืช ื–ืžืŸ
09:34
and interact with other human beings in real life.
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ื•ืœืชืงืฉืจ ืขื ื‘ื ื™ ืื“ื ืื—ืจื™ื ื‘ื—ื™ื™ื ื”ืืžื™ืชื™ื™ื.
09:36
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
09:37
So I want to assure you that it is worth it,
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ืื– ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ื‘ื˜ื™ื— ืœื›ื ืฉื–ื” ืฉื•ื•ื” ืืช ื–ื”,
09:40
and it is not as hard as it might seem.
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ื•ื–ื” ืœื ืงืฉื” ื›ืžื• ืฉื–ื” ื ืจืื”.
09:42
So here's how you do it.
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ืื– ื”ื ื” ืื™ืš ืืชื ืขื•ืฉื™ื ืืช ื–ื”.
09:44
You start by making eye contact with someone.
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ืืชื ืžืชื—ื™ืœื™ื ื‘ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ืขื™ืŸ ืขื ืžื™ืฉื”ื•.
09:46
Like, look them in the eye,
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ื›ืžื•, ืชืกืชื›ืœื• ืœื”ื ื‘ืขื™ื ื™ื™ื,
09:47
don't look in the middle of their forehead,
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ืืœ ืชืกืชื›ืœื• ื‘ืืžืฆืข ืฉืœ ื”ืžืฆื— ืฉืœื”ื,
09:49
where the camera would be on a Zoom call.
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ืื™ืคื” ืฉื”ืžืฆืœืžื” ืชื”ื™ื” ื‘ืฉื™ื—ืช ื–ื•ื.
09:51
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
09:53
And you say โ€œHello.โ€
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ื•ืืชื ืื•ืžืจื™ื โ€œืฉืœื•ืโ€œ.
09:55
And if that goes well, you can introduce yourself.
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ื•ืื ื–ื” ื™ืœืš ื˜ื•ื‘, ืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ืฆื™ื’ ืืช ืขืฆืžื›ื.
09:58
And if that goes well,
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ื•ืื ื–ื” ื™ืœืš ื˜ื•ื‘,
09:59
maybe you can ask them a question, something that's thought-provoking,
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ืื•ืœื™ ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืฉืื•ืœ ืื•ืชื ืฉืืœื”, ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืžืขื•ืจืจ ืžื—ืฉื‘ื”,
ืื‘ืœ ืœื ืื™ืฉื™ืช ืื• ืžืื™ื™ืžืช ืžื“ื™,
10:03
but not overly personal or threatening,
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10:04
like "What's something that fascinates you?"
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ื›ืžื• โ€œืžื”ื• ื”ืžืฉื”ื• ืฉืžืจืชืง ืื•ืชืš?โ€
ืื• โ€œืื™ื–ื” ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“ ืฉื™ืžื— ืื•ืชืš ื”ื™ื•ื?โ€
10:07
Or "What's one thing that delighted you today?"
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10:10
And you might be amazed by how good just one little moment of connection
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ื•ืื•ืœื™ ืชืชืคืœืื• ืขื“ ื›ืžื” ื˜ื•ื‘ ืจืง ืจื’ืข ืื—ื“ ืงื˜ืŸ ืฉืœ ื—ื™ื‘ื•ืจ
10:14
can make you feel.
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ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื’ืจื•ื ืœื›ื ืœื”ืจื’ื™ืฉ.
10:16
And if you do find someone to connect with,
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ื•ืื ืชืžืฆืื• ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืœื”ืชื—ื‘ืจ ืื™ืชื•,
ืื•ืœื™ ืชื‘ืงืฉื• ืžืžื ื• ืœื”ืฆื˜ืจืฃ ืืœื™ืš ื‘ื ื™ืกื™ื•ืŸ ืœืงื‘ืœ ืืช ื”ื”ืฆืขื” ื”ืฉืœื™ืฉื™ืช ืฉืœื™,
10:18
maybe ask them to join you in trying my third suggestion,
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10:21
which is to increase playfulness by finding opportunities to rebel.
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ื›ืœื•ืžืจ ืœื”ื’ื‘ื™ืจ ืืช ื”ืขืœื™ืฆื•ืช ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžืฆื™ืืช ื”ื–ื“ืžื ื•ื™ื•ืช ืœืžืจื•ื“.
10:25
Now I am not talking about James Dean-level of rebellion.
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ืขื›ืฉื™ื•, ืื ื™ ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจืช ืขืœ ืจืžืช ื”ืžืจื“ ืฉืœ ื’โ€™ื™ื™ืžืก ื“ื™ืŸ .
10:29
I'm talking about playful deviance.
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ืื ื™ ืžื“ื‘ืจืช ืขืœ ืกื˜ื™ื™ื” ืžืฉืขืฉืขืช.
10:31
I'm talking about finding ways to break the rules
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ืื ื™ ืžื“ื‘ืจืช ืขืœ ืžืฆื™ืืช ื“ืจื›ื™ื ืœืฉื‘ื•ืจ ืืช ื”ื›ืœืœื™ื
10:33
of responsible adulthood,
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ืฉืœ ื‘ื’ืจื•ืช ืื—ืจืื™ืช,
10:35
and giving yourself permission to get a kick out of your own life.
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ื•ืœื”ืจืฉื•ืช ืœืขืฆืžื›ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืžืื•ืฉืจื™ื ืžื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื›ื.
10:39
One person told me
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ืžื™ืฉื”ื™ ืืžืจื” ืœื™
10:41
that some of the most fun she'd had in recent memory,
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ืฉื›ืžื” ืžื”ื›ื™ืคื™ื™ื ื”ื›ื™ ืžื”ื ื™ื ืฉื”ื™ื• ืœื” ื‘ื–ื™ื›ืจื•ืŸ ื”ืื—ืจื•ืŸ
10:43
happened on a Friday morning,
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ืงืจื• ื‘ื™ื•ื ืฉื™ืฉื™ ื‘ื‘ื•ืงืจ,
ื›ืฉื”ื™ื ื•ื›ืžื” ืžื—ื‘ืจื™ื” ื ื˜ืฉื• ืืช ืขื‘ื•ื“ืชื
10:45
when she and some of her friends ditched their work
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10:47
and their childcare responsibilities,
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ื•ืืช ืื—ืจื™ื•ืช ื”ื˜ื™ืคื•ืœ ื‘ื™ืœื“ื™ื ืฉืœื”ื
ืชื—ื‘ื• ื‘ืงื‘ื•ืงื•ื ื™ื ืœืชื•ืš ื”ืืจื ืงื™ื ืฉืœื”ื
10:49
tucked flasks into their purses
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10:51
and snuck out to a 10:30am showing of the movie "Bad Moms."
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ื•ื”ืชื’ื ื‘ื• ื‘-10:30 ื‘ื‘ื•ืงืจ ืœื”ื•ืคืขื” ืฉืœ ื”ืกืจื˜ โ€œืืžื”ื•ืช ืจืขื•ืชโ€œ.
10:56
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
11:00
So lastly, here's one more thing that you can do today
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ืื– ืœื‘ืกื•ืฃ, ื”ื ื” ืขื•ื“ ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“ ืฉืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœืขืฉื•ืช ื”ื™ื•ื
11:02
to start having more fun.
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ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืชื—ื™ืœ ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ.
11:06
[Roast a Turkey] I am just kidding.
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[ืฆืœื• ืชืจื ื’ื•ืœ ื”ื•ื“ื•] ืื ื™ ืจืง ืžืชื‘ื“ื—ืช.
11:07
(Laughter)
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(ืฆื—ื•ืง)
11:09
Prioritize it.
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ืชื ื• ืœื–ื” ืขื“ื™ืคื•ืช.
11:10
That might sound totally obvious,
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ื–ื” ืื•ืœื™ ื ืฉืžืข ื‘ืจื•ืจ ืœื’ืžืจื™,
11:12
but one of the main reasons we're not having enough fun
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ืื‘ืœ ืื—ืช ื”ืกื™ื‘ื•ืช ื”ืขื™ืงืจื™ื•ืช ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ื ื”ื ื™ื ืžืกืคื™ืง
11:14
is that we're not making it a priority.
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ื”ื™ื ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ืœื ืžืชืขื“ืคื™ื ืืช ื–ื”.
11:16
Our fun is always at the bottom of the list,
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ื”ื›ื™ืฃ ืฉืœื ื• ื”ื•ื ืชืžื™ื“ ื‘ืชื—ืชื™ืช ื”ืจืฉื™ืžื”,
11:18
and it can't speak up for itself.
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ื•ื”ื•ื ืœื ื™ื›ื•ืœ ืœื“ื‘ืจ ื‘ืขื“ ืขืฆืžื•.
11:20
So I'm not suggesting that you take out your calendar and make an entry
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ืื– ืื ื™ ืœื ืžืฆื™ืขื” ืฉืชื•ืฆื™ืื• ืืช ื”ื™ื•ืžืŸ ืฉืœื›ื ื•ืชืจืฉืžื•:
โ€œื‘ืฉื‘ืช ืž-4 ืขื“ 6 ื‘ืขืจื‘ ื™ื”ื™ื” ืœื™ ื›ื™ืฃ.โ€
11:23
that says: โ€œFrom 4 to 6pm on Saturday, I shall have fun.โ€
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11:27
That is a guaranteed way to not have fun.
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ื–ื• ื“ืจืš ืžื•ื‘ื˜ื—ืช ืœื ืœื™ื”ื ื•ืช.
11:29
But if you know you consistently have fun
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ืื‘ืœ ืื ืืชื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืฉืืชื ืชืžื™ื“ ื ื”ื ื™ื
11:32
when you spend time with a particular person,
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ื›ืฉืืชื ืžื‘ืœื™ื ืขื ืื“ื ืžืกื•ื™ื,
11:34
make a point to spend time with that person.
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ื”ืฉืชื“ืœื• ืœื‘ืœื•ืช ื–ืžืŸ ืขื ืื•ืชื• ืื“ื.
11:36
If you know there's an activity
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ืื ืืชื ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืฉื™ืฉ ืคืขื™ืœื•ืช
ืฉืžืžืฉ ืžื™ื™ืฆืจืช ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ื–ืจื™ืžื” ืžื—ื•ื‘ืจืช ืฉืžื—ื” ื‘ืฉื‘ื™ืœื›ื,
11:38
that really does often generate playful connected flow for you,
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11:41
carve out time for it in your schedule.
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ืงื‘ืขื• ื–ืžืŸ ืœื–ื” ื‘ืœื•ื— ื”ื–ืžื ื™ื ืฉืœื›ื.
11:44
Treat fun as if it is important.
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ื”ืชื™ื™ื—ืกื• ืœื›ื™ืฃ ื›ืืœ ืžืฉื”ื• ื—ืฉื•ื‘.
11:46
Because it is.
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ื›ื™ ื”ื•ื ื›ื–ื”.
11:49
I've been doing this myself for a couple of years now,
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ืื ื™ ืขื•ืฉื” ืืช ื–ื” ื‘ืขืฆืžื™ ืžื–ื” ื›ืžื” ืฉื ื™ื,
11:51
and it's amazing to see how many areas of my life fun has touched.
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ื•ื–ื” ืžื“ื”ื™ื ืœืจืื•ืช ื‘ื›ืžื” ืื–ื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ื—ื™ื™ื ืฉืœื™ ื”ื›ื™ืฃ ื ื’ืข.
11:55
I'm more creative and more productive, I'm more resilient.
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ืื ื™ ื™ื•ืชืจ ื™ืฆื™ืจืชื™ืช ื•ื™ื•ืชืจ ื™ืขื™ืœื”, ืื ื™ ื™ื•ืชืจ ืขืžื™ื“ื”.
11:59
I laugh more.
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ืื ื™ ืฆื•ื—ืงืช ื™ื•ืชืจ.
12:00
Making sure that I'm having enough fun has made me a better partner,
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ื›ืฉืื ื™ ืžื•ื•ื“ืืช ืฉืื ื™ ื ื”ื ื™ืช ืžืกืคื™ืง, ื–ื” ื”ื•ืคืš ืื•ืชื™ ืœื‘ืช ื–ื•ื’ ื˜ื•ื‘ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ
12:04
a better parent and a better friend.
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ื”ื•ืจื” ื˜ื•ื‘ ื™ื•ืชืจ ื•ื—ื‘ืจื” ื˜ื•ื‘ ื™ื•ืชืจ.
12:07
And it has convinced me of something
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ื•ื–ื” ืฉื›ื ืข ืื•ืชื™ ื‘ืžืฉื”ื•
12:09
that I very much hope I can convince you of as well,
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ืฉืื ื™ ืžืื•ื“ ืžืงื•ื•ื” ืฉืื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœืฉื›ื ืข ืืชื›ื ื’ื,
12:13
which is that my daughter was right.
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ื•ื–ื” ืฉื”ื‘ืช ืฉืœื™ ืฆื“ืงื”.
12:16
Fun is sunshine.
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ื›ื™ืฃ ื”ื•ื ืื•ืจ ืฉืžืฉ.
12:18
It's a distillation of life's energy.
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ื–ื” ื–ื™ืงื•ืง ืฉืœ ืื ืจื’ื™ื™ืช ื”ื—ื™ื™ื.
12:21
And the more often we experience it,
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ื•ื›ื›ืœ ืฉืื ื• ื—ื•ื•ื™ื ืืช ื–ื” ืœืขืชื™ื ืงืจื•ื‘ื•ืช ื™ื•ืชืจ,
12:24
the more we will feel like we're actually alive.
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ื™ื•ืชืจ ื ืจื’ื™ืฉ ืฉืื ื—ื ื• ื‘ืืžืช ื—ื™ื™ื.
12:27
Thank you.
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ืชื•ื“ื”.
12:28
(Cheers and applause)
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(ืชืฉื•ืื•ืช ื•ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื)
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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