Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly: Be passionate. Be courageous. Be your best.

126,709 views

2014-04-11 ・ TED


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Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly: Be passionate. Be courageous. Be your best.

126,709 views ・ 2014-04-11

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:12
Pat Mitchell: That day,
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January 8, 2011, began like all others.
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You were both doing the work that you love.
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You were meeting with constituents,
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which is something that you loved doing
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as a congresswoman,
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and Mark, you were happily preparing
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for your next space shuttle.
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And suddenly, everything that you had planned
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or expected in your lives
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was irrevocably changed forever.
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Mark Kelly: Yeah, it's amazing,
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it's amazing how everything can change
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for any of us in an instant.
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People don't realize that.
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I certainly didn't.
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Gabby Giffords: Yes.
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MK: And on that Saturday morning,
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I got this horrible phone call
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from Gabby's chief of staff.
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She didn't have much other information.
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She just said, "Gabby was shot."
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A few minutes later, I called her back
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and I actually thought for a second,
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well, maybe I just imagined getting this phone call.
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I called her back, and that's when she told me
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that Gabby had been shot in the head.
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And from that point on,
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I knew that our lives were going to be a lot different.
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PM: And when you arrived at the hospital,
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what was the prognosis that they gave you
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about Gabby's condition and what recovery, if any,
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you could expect?
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MK: Well, for a gunshot wound to the head
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and a traumatic brain injury,
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they typically can't tell you much.
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Every injury is different. It's not predictable
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like often a stroke might be predictable,
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which is another TBI kind of injury.
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So they didn't know how long Gabby would be in a coma,
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didn't know when that would change
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and what the prognosis would be.
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PM: Gabby, has your recovery
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been an effort to create a new Gabby Giffords
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or reclaim the old Gabby Giffords?
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GG: The new one -- better, stronger, tougher.
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(Applause)
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MK: That to say,
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when you look at the picture behind us,
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to come back from that kind of injury
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and come back strong and stronger than ever
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is a really tough thing to do.
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I don't know anybody
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that's as tough as my wonderful wife right here.
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(Applause)
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PM: And what were the first signs
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that recovery was not only going to be possible
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but you were going to have some semblance
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of the life that you and Gabby had planned?
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MK: Well, the first thing, for me, was
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Gabby was still kind of almost unconscious,
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but she did something when she was in the ICU hospital bed
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that she used to do when we might
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be out to dinner at a restaurant,
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in that she pulled my ring off
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and she flipped it from one finger to the next,
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and at that point I knew
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that she was still in there.
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PM: And there were certain words, too.
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Didn't she surprise you with words in the beginning?
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MK: Well, it was tough in the beginning. GG: What? What? Chicken. Chicken. Chicken.
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MK: Yeah, that was it.
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For the first month, that was the extent
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of Gabby's vocabulary.
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For some reason, she has aphasia,
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which is difficulty with communication.
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She latched on to the word "chicken,"
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which isn't the best but certainly is not the worst.
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(Laughter)
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And we were actually worried
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it could have been a lot worse than that.
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PM: Gabby, what's been the toughest challenge
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for you during this recovery?
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GG: Talking. Really hard. Really.
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MK: Yeah, with aphasia, Gabby knows what she wants to say,
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she just can't get it out.
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She understands everything,
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but the communication is just very difficult
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because when you look at the picture,
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the part of your brain where those communication centers are
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are on the left side of your head,
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which is where the bullet passed through.
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PM: So you have to do a very dangerous thing:
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speak for your wife.
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MK: I do.
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It might be some of the most dangerous things I've ever done.
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PM: Gabby, are you optimistic
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about your continuing recovery --
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walking, talking,
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being able to move your arm and leg?
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GG: I'm optimistic. It will be a long, hard haul,
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but I'm optimistic.
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PM: That seems to be the number one characteristic of Gabby Giffords,
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wouldn't you say? (Applause)
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MK: Gabby's always been really optimistic.
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She works incredibly hard every day.
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GG: On the treadmill, walked on my treadmill,
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Spanish lessons, French horn.
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MK: It's only my wife who could be --
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and if you knew her before she was injured,
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you would kind of understand this --
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somebody who could be injured
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and have such a hard time communicating
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and meets with a speech therapist,
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and then about a month ago, she says,
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"I want to learn Spanish again."
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PM: Well, let's take a little closer look
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at the wife, and this was even before
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you met Gabby Giffords.
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And she's on a motor scooter there,
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but it's my understanding that's a very tame image
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of what Gabby Giffords was like growing up.
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MK: Yeah, Gabby, she used to race motorcycles.
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So that's a scooter, but she had --
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well, she still has a BMW motorcycle.
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PM: Does she ride it? MK: Well, that's a challenge
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with not being able to move her right arm,
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but I think with something I know about, Velcro,
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we might be able to get her back on the bike,
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Velcro her right hand up onto the handlebar.
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PM: I have a feeling we might see that picture next,
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Gabby.
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But you meet, you're already decided
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that you're going to dedicate your life to service.
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You're going into the military
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and eventually to become an astronaut.
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So you meet.
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What attracts you to Gabby?
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MK: Well, when we met, oddly enough,
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it was the last time we were in Vancouver,
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about 10 years ago. We met in Vancouver,
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at the airport, on a trip that we were both taking
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to China,
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that I would actually, from my background,
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I would call it a boondoggle.
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Gabby would — GG: Fact-finding mission.
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MK: She would call it an important fact-finding mission.
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She was a state senator at the time,
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and we met here, at the airport,
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before a trip to China.
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PM: Would you describe it as a whirlwind romance?
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GG: No, no, no.
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(Laughter)
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A good friend.
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MK: Yeah, we were friends for a long time.
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GG: Yes. (Laughter)
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MK: And then she invited me on, about a year or so later,
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she invited me on a date.
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Where'd we go, Gabby?
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GG: Death row.
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MK: Yes. Our first date was to death row
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at the Florence state prison in Arizona,
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which was just outside Gabby's state senate district.
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They were working on some legislation
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that had to do with crime and punishment
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and capital punishment in the state of Arizona.
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So she couldn't get anybody else to go with her,
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and I'm like, "Of course I want to go to death row."
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So that was our first date.
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We've been together ever since. GG: Yes.
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PM: Well, that might have contributed to the reason
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that Gabby decided to marry you.
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You were willing to go to death row, after all.
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MK: I guess.
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PM: Gabby, what did make you want to marry Mark?
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GG: Um, good friends. Best friends. Best friends.
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MK: I thought we always
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had a very special relationship.
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We've gone through some tough times
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and it's only made it stronger. GG: Stronger.
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PM: After you got married, however,
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you continued very independent lives.
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Actually, you didn't even live together.
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MK: We had one of those commuter marriages.
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In our case, it was Washington, D.C., Houston,
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Tucson.
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Sometimes we'd go clockwise,
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sometimes counterclockwise,
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to all those different places,
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and we didn't really live together
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until that Saturday morning.
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Within an hour of Gabby being shot,
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I was on an airplane to Tucson,
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and that was the moment
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where that had changed things.
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PM: And also, Gabby, you had run for Congress
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after being a state senator
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and served in Congress for six years.
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What did you like best
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about being in Congress?
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GG: Fast pace. Fast pace.
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PM: Well it was the way you did it. GG: Yes, yes. Fast pace.
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PM: I'm not sure people would describe it entirely that way.
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(Laughter)
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MK: Yeah, you know, legislation is often
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at a colossally slow pace,
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but my wife, and I have to admit,
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a lot of other members of Congress that I know,
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work incredibly hard.
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I mean, Gabby would run around like a crazy person,
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never take a day off,
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maybe a half a day off a month,
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and whenever she was awake she was working,
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and she really, really thrived on that,
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and still does today. GG: Yes. Yes.
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PM: Installing solar panels on the top of her house,
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I have to say.
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So after the tragic incident, Mark,
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you decided to resign
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your position as an astronaut,
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even though you were supposed to take
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the next space mission.
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Everybody, including Gabby,
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talked you into going back,
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and you did end up taking.
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MK: Kind of. The day after Gabby was injured,
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I called my boss, the chief astronaut,
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Dr. Peggy Whitson, and I said,
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"Peggy, I know I'm launching in space
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in three months from now.
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Gabby's in a coma. I'm in Tucson.
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You've got to find a replacement for me."
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So I didn't actually resign from being an astronaut,
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but I gave up my job and they found a replacement.
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Months later, maybe about two months later,
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I started about getting my job back,
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which is something,
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when you become this primary caregiver person,
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which some people in the audience here
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have certainly been in that position,
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it's a challenging role but at some point
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you've got to figure out when you're going to get your life back,
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and at the time, I couldn't ask Gabby
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if she wanted me to go fly in the space shuttle again.
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But I knew she was— GG: Yes. Yes. Yes.
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MK: She was the biggest supporter of my career,
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and I knew it was the right thing to do.
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PM: And yet I'm trying to imagine, Mark,
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what that was like, going off onto a mission,
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one presumes safely, but it's never a guarantee,
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and knowing that Gabby is —
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MK: Well not only was she still in the hospital,
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on the third day of that flight,
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literally while I was
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rendezvousing with the space station,
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and you've got two vehicles moving at 17,500 miles an hour,
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I'm actually flying it, looking out the window,
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a bunch of computers,
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Gabby was in brain surgery,
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literally at that time having the final surgery
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to replace the piece of skull
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that they took out on the day she was injured
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with a prosthetic, yeah, which is the whole side of her head.
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Now if any of you guys would ever come
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to our house in Tucson for the first time,
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Gabby would usually go up to the freezer
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and pull out the piece of Tupperware
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that has the real skull. (Laughter)
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GG: The real skull. MK: Which freaks people out, sometimes.
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PM: Is that for appetizer or dessert, Mark?
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MK: Well, it just gets the conversation going.
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PM: But there was a lot of conversation about
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something you did, Gabby, after Mark's flight.
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You had to make another step of courage too,
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because here was Congress deadlocked again,
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and you got out of the rehabilitation center,
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got yourself to Washington
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so that you could walk on the floor of the House --
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I can barely talk about this without getting emotional —
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and cast a vote which could have been
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the deciding vote.
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GG: The debt ceiling. The debt ceiling.
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MK: Yeah, we had that vote,
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I guess about five months after Gabby was injured,
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and she made this bold decision to go back.
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A very controversial vote,
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but she wanted to be there
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to have her voice heard one more time.
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PM: And after that, resigned
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and began what has been a very slow
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and challenging recovery.
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What's life like, day to day?
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MK: Well, that's Gabby's service dog Nelson.
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GG: Nelson.
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MK: New member of our family. GG: Yes, yes.
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MK: And we got him from a—
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GG: Prison. Murder. MK: We have a lot of connections
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with prisons, apparently. (Laughter)
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Nelson came from a prison,
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raised by a murderer in Massachusetts.
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But she did a great job with this dog.
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He's a fabulous service dog.
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PM: So Gabby, what have you learned
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from your experiences the past few years?
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MK: Yeah, what have you learned? GG: Deeper. Deeper.
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PM: Your relationship is deeper.
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It has to be. You're together all the time now.
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MK: I imagine being grateful, too, right?
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GG: Grateful.
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PM: This is a picture of family and friends gathering,
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but I love these pictures because they show
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the Gabby and Mark relationship now.
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And you describe it, Gabby, over and over,
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as deeper on so many levels. Yes?
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MK: I think when something tragic happens
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in a family, it can pull people together.
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Here's us watching the space shuttle
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fly over Tucson,
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the Space Shuttle Endeavour,
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the one that I was the commander on its last flight,
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on its final flight on top of an airplane
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on a 747 on its way to L.A.,
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NASA was kind enough to have it fly over Tucson.
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PM: And of course, the two of you
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go through these challenges
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of a slow and difficult recovery,
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and yet, Gabby, how do you maintain
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your optimism and positive outlook?
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GG: I want to make the world a better place.
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(Applause)
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PM: And you're doing that
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even though your recovery has to remain
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front and center for both of you.
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You are people who have done service
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to your country and you are continuing to do that
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with a new initiative, a new purpose.
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And Gabby, what's on the agenda now?
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GG: Americans for Responsible Solutions.
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MK: That's our political action committee,
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where we are trying to get members of Congress
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to take a more serious look at gun violence in this country,
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and to try to
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pass some reasonable legislation.
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GG: Yes. Yes. (Applause)
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MK: You know, this affected us very personally,
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but it wasn't what happened to Gabby that got us involved.
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It was really the 20 murdered first graders
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and kindergartners in Newtown, Connecticut,
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and the response that we saw afterwards
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where -- well, look what's happened so far.
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So far the national response has been
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pretty much to do nothing.
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We're trying to change that.
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PM: There have been 11 mass shootings
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since Newtown,
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a school a week in the first two months of last year.
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What are you doing that's different
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than other efforts to balance
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rights for gun ownership and responsibilities?
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MK: We're gun owners, we support gun rights.
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At the same time, we've got to do everything we can
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to keep guns out of the hands of criminals
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and the dangerously mentally ill.
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It's not too difficult to do that.
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This issue, like many others,
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has become very polarizing and political,
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and we're trying to bring some balance
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to the debate in Washington.
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PM: Thank you both for that effort.
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And not surprisingly for this woman of courage
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and of a sense of adventure,
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you just keep challenging yourself,
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and the sky seems to be the limit.
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I have to share this video
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of your most recent adventure.
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Take a look at Gabby.
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MK: This is a couple months ago.
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(Video) MK: You okay? You did great. GG: Yes, it's gorgeous. Thank you.
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Good stuff. Gorgeous. Oh, thank you.
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Mountains. Gorgeous mountains.
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(Applause)
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MK: Let me just say
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one of the guys that Gabby jumped with
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that day was a Navy SEAL
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who she met in Afghanistan
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who was injured in combat,
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had a really rough time.
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Gabby visited him
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when he was at Bethesda
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and went through a really tough period.
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He started doing better.
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Months later, Gabby was shot in the head,
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and then he supported her
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while she was in the hospital in Houston.
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So they have a very, very nice connection.
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GG: Yes.
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PM: What a wonderful moment.
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Because this is the TED stage,
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Gabby, I know you worked very hard
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to think of the ideas that you wanted to leave
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with this audience.
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GG: Thank you.
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Hello, everyone.
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Thank you for inviting us here today.
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It's been a long, hard haul,
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but I'm getting better.
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I'm working hard,
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lots of therapy -- speech therapy,
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physical therapy, and yoga too.
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But my spirit is strong as ever.
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I'm still fighting to make the world a better place,
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and you can too.
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Get involved with your community.
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Be a leader. Set an example.
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Be passionate. Be courageous.
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Be your best. Thank you very much.
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(Applause)
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MK: Thank you. GG: Thank you.
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(Applause)
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MK: Thank you everybody. GG: Bye bye. (Applause)
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About this website

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