Don't feel sorry for refugees -- believe in them | Luma Mufleh

100,366 views ・ 2017-07-25

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:12
I remember when I first found out
0
12764
1898
00:14
I was going to speak at a TED conference.
1
14686
2039
00:16
I ran across the hall to one of my classrooms
2
16749
2111
00:18
to inform my students.
3
18884
1429
00:20
"Guess what, guys?
4
20337
1248
00:21
I've been asked to give a TED Talk."
5
21609
2078
00:23
The reaction wasn't one I quite expected.
6
23711
2031
00:25
The whole room went silent.
7
25766
1458
00:28
"A TED Talk? You mean, like the one you made us watch on grit?
8
28954
2960
00:31
Or the one with the scientist that did this really awesome thing with robots?"
9
31938
3695
00:35
Muhammad asked.
10
35657
1166
00:36
"Yes, just like that."
11
36847
1421
00:38
"But Coach, those people are really important and smart."
12
38957
2934
00:41
(Laughter)
13
41915
2077
00:44
"I know that."
14
44016
1322
00:46
"But Coach, why are you speaking? You hate public speaking."
15
46613
3717
00:50
"I do," I admitted,
16
50891
1509
00:54
"But it's important that I speak about us, that I speak about your journeys,
17
54154
3599
00:57
about my journey.
18
57777
1159
00:58
People need to know."
19
58960
1269
01:00
The students at the all-refugee school that I founded
20
60918
2713
01:03
decided to end with some words of encouragement.
21
63655
2392
01:06
"Cool! It better be good, Coach."
22
66071
1819
01:07
(Laughter)
23
67914
2700
01:10
There are 65.3 million people who have been forcibly displaced
24
70638
3558
01:14
from their homes because of war or persecution.
25
74220
2548
01:17
The largest number, 11 million, are from Syria.
26
77855
2983
01:21
33,952 people flee their homes daily.
27
81783
4359
01:28
The vast majority remain in refugee camps,
28
88666
3198
01:31
whose conditions cannot be defined as humane under anyone's definition.
29
91888
4025
01:36
We are participating in the degradation of humans.
30
96506
4350
01:44
Never have we had numbers this high.
31
104570
1781
01:46
This is the highest number of refugees since World War II.
32
106375
3121
01:50
Now, let me tell you why this issue is so important to me.
33
110235
2772
01:53
I am an Arab. I am an immigrant.
34
113964
2750
01:57
I am a Muslim.
35
117844
1267
01:59
I've also spent the last 12 years of my life working with refugees.
36
119826
3774
02:03
Oh -- and I'm also gay.
37
123624
1442
02:05
It makes me really popular these days.
38
125090
1900
02:07
(Laughter)
39
127014
1891
02:08
But I am the daughter of a refugee.
40
128929
1944
02:11
My grandmother fled Syria in 1964 during the first Assad regime.
41
131876
4498
02:16
She was three months pregnant when she packed up a suitcase,
42
136398
3447
02:19
piled in her five children and drove to neighboring Jordan,
43
139869
3094
02:22
not knowing what the future held for her and her family.
44
142987
3012
02:26
My grandfather decided to stay, not believing it was that bad.
45
146023
3637
02:30
He followed her a month later, after his brothers were tortured
46
150382
3474
02:33
and his factory was taken over by the government.
47
153880
2429
02:36
They rebuilt their lives starting from scratch
48
156859
2194
02:39
and eventually became independently wealthy Jordanian citizens.
49
159077
3275
02:43
I was born in Jordan 11 years later.
50
163789
2493
02:47
It was really important to my grandmother for us to know our history
51
167251
3310
02:50
and our journey.
52
170585
1154
02:52
I was eight years old when she took me to visit my first refugee camp.
53
172703
3617
02:56
I didn't understand why.
54
176344
1440
02:58
I didn't know why it was so important to her
55
178456
2131
03:00
for us to go.
56
180611
1450
03:02
I remember walking into the camp holding her hand,
57
182085
2939
03:05
and her saying, "Go play with the kids,"
58
185048
1969
03:07
while she visited with the women in the camp.
59
187041
2503
03:10
I didn't want to.
60
190426
1212
03:11
These kids weren't like me.
61
191662
1416
03:13
They were poor. They lived in a camp.
62
193102
1778
03:14
I refused.
63
194904
1340
03:16
She knelt down beside me and firmly said, "Go.
64
196268
2966
03:19
And don't come back until you've played.
65
199258
2154
03:21
Don't ever think people are beneath you
66
201436
2040
03:23
or that you have nothing to learn from others."
67
203500
2299
03:26
I reluctantly went.
68
206340
1449
03:27
I never wanted to disappoint my grandmother.
69
207813
2288
03:31
I returned a few hours later,
70
211295
1397
03:32
having spent some time playing soccer with the kids in the camp.
71
212716
4630
03:37
We walked out of the camp,
72
217859
1277
03:39
and I was excitedly telling her what a great time I had
73
219160
2695
03:41
and how fantastic the kids were.
74
221879
1931
03:44
"Haram!" I said in Arabic. "Poor them."
75
224995
2680
03:48
"Haram on us," she said, using the word's different meaning,
76
228468
3087
03:51
that we were sinning.
77
231579
1333
03:53
"Don't feel sorry for them; believe in them."
78
233822
2373
03:58
It wasn't until I left my country of origin for the United States
79
238171
3419
04:01
that I realized the impact of her words.
80
241614
2012
04:05
After my college graduation, I applied for and was granted political asylum,
81
245007
3674
04:08
based on being a member of a social group.
82
248705
2092
04:11
Some people may not realize this,
83
251530
1690
04:13
but you can still get the death penalty in some countries for being gay.
84
253244
3666
04:18
I had to give up my Jordanian citizenship.
85
258897
2044
04:20
That was the hardest decision I've ever had to make,
86
260965
2449
04:23
but I had no other choice.
87
263438
1380
04:29
The point is,
88
269207
1243
04:31
when you find yourself choosing between home and survival,
89
271326
3076
04:34
the question "Where are you from?" becomes very loaded.
90
274426
2832
04:38
A Syrian woman who I recently met at a refugee camp in Greece
91
278592
3267
04:41
articulated it best,
92
281883
1268
04:43
when she recalled the exact moment she realized she had to flee Aleppo.
93
283175
3570
04:47
"I looked out the window and there was nothing.
94
287097
2258
04:49
It was all rubble.
95
289379
1359
04:51
There were no stores, no streets, no schools. Everything was gone.
96
291413
3792
04:55
I had been in my apartment for months,
97
295826
2047
04:57
listening to bombs drop and watching people die.
98
297897
3070
05:01
But I always thought it would get better,
99
301591
2063
05:04
that no one could force me to leave,
100
304848
2074
05:06
no one could take my home away from me.
101
306946
2042
05:09
And I don't know why it was that morning, but when I looked outside,
102
309615
3272
05:12
I realized if I didn't leave, my three young children would die.
103
312911
3138
05:16
And so we left.
104
316073
1389
05:17
We left because we had to, not because we wanted to.
105
317486
3004
05:20
There was no choice," she said.
106
320514
1748
05:23
It's kind of hard to believe that you belong
107
323798
2278
05:26
when you don't have a home,
108
326100
1464
05:27
when your country of origin rejects you because of fear or persecution,
109
327588
4006
05:31
or the city that you grew up in is completely destroyed.
110
331618
3904
05:36
I didn't feel like I had a home.
111
336625
2031
05:38
I was no longer a Jordanian citizen,
112
338680
2457
05:41
but I wasn't American, either.
113
341161
1632
05:43
I felt a kind of loneliness
114
343463
1738
05:45
that is still hard to put into words today.
115
345225
2119
05:48
After college, I desperately needed to find a place to call home.
116
348601
3283
05:52
I bounced around from state to state
117
352366
1716
05:54
and eventually ended up in North Carolina.
118
354106
2435
05:56
Kindhearted people who felt sorry for me
119
356565
2125
05:59
offered to pay rent
120
359233
1334
06:01
or buy me a meal or a suit for my new interview.
121
361225
3314
06:04
It just made me feel more isolated and incapable.
122
364563
3023
06:08
It wasn't until I met Miss Sarah,
123
368301
1814
06:10
a Southern Baptist who took me in at my lowest and gave me a job,
124
370139
3736
06:13
that I started to believe in myself.
125
373899
1893
06:16
Miss Sarah owned a diner in the mountains of North Carolina.
126
376515
3797
06:21
I assumed, because of my privileged upbringing
127
381676
2169
06:23
and my Seven Sister education,
128
383869
1519
06:25
that she would ask me to manage the restaurant.
129
385412
2204
06:27
I was wrong.
130
387640
1208
06:29
I started off washing dishes,
131
389792
1703
06:31
cleaning toilets and working the grill.
132
391519
1979
06:34
I was humbled; I was shown the value of hard work.
133
394067
3085
06:37
But most importantly, I felt valued and embraced.
134
397176
2610
06:40
I celebrated Christmas with her family,
135
400744
1880
06:42
and she attempted to observe Ramadan with me.
136
402648
2352
06:46
I remember being very nervous about coming out to her --
137
406056
2670
06:48
after all, she was a Southern Baptist.
138
408750
2042
06:50
I sat on the couch next to her
139
410816
1460
06:52
and I said, "Miss Sarah, you know that I'm gay."
140
412300
2531
06:54
Her response is one that I will never forget.
141
414855
2186
06:57
"That's fine, honey. Just don't be a slut."
142
417535
2199
06:59
(Laughter)
143
419758
3172
07:02
(Applause)
144
422954
2675
07:05
I eventually moved to Atlanta, still trying to find my home.
145
425653
5912
07:12
My journey took a strange turn three years later,
146
432081
2379
07:14
after I met a group of refugee kids playing soccer outside.
147
434484
3233
07:18
I'd made a wrong turn into this apartment complex,
148
438138
2540
07:20
and I saw these kids outside playing soccer.
149
440702
2215
07:23
They were playing barefoot with a raggedy soccer ball
150
443316
2563
07:25
and rocks set up as goals.
151
445903
1452
07:27
I watched them for about an hour,
152
447379
1700
07:29
and after that I was smiling.
153
449103
1578
07:31
The boys reminded me of home.
154
451116
1587
07:33
They reminded me of the way I grew up playing soccer
155
453188
2478
07:35
in the streets of Jordan, with my brothers and cousins.
156
455690
2630
07:39
I eventually joined their game.
157
459612
2001
07:41
They were a little skeptical about letting me join it,
158
461637
2843
07:44
because according to them, girls don't know how to play.
159
464504
2662
07:47
But obviously I did.
160
467190
1346
07:48
I asked them if they had ever played on a team.
161
468560
2244
07:50
They said they hadn't, but that they would love to.
162
470828
2434
07:53
I gradually won them over, and we formed our first team.
163
473751
3021
07:57
This group of kids would give me a crash course in refugees, poverty
164
477671
4884
08:03
and humanity.
165
483817
1232
08:06
Three brothers from Afghanistan -- Roohullah, Noorullah and Zabiullah --
166
486195
3555
08:09
played a major role in that.
167
489774
1624
08:12
I showed up late to practice one day to find the field completely deserted.
168
492200
3568
08:15
I was really worried.
169
495792
1181
08:16
My team loved to practice.
170
496997
1611
08:18
It wasn't like them to miss practice.
171
498632
2607
08:21
I got out of my car, and two kids ran out from behind a dumpster,
172
501263
3088
08:24
waving their hands frantically.
173
504375
1583
08:26
"Coach, Rooh got beat up. He got jumped.
174
506915
2047
08:28
There was blood everywhere."
175
508986
1578
08:30
"What do you mean? What do you mean he got beat up?"
176
510588
2455
08:33
"These bad kids came and beat him up, Coach.
177
513067
2073
08:35
Everybody left. They were all scared."
178
515164
2226
08:37
We hopped into my car and drove over to Rooh's apartment.
179
517414
2718
08:40
I knocked on the door, and Noor opened it.
180
520156
2499
08:43
"Where's Rooh? I need to talk to him, see if he's OK."
181
523409
2752
08:46
"He's in his room, Coach. He's refusing to come out."
182
526185
2936
08:49
I knocked on the door.
183
529145
1167
08:50
"Rooh, come on out. I need to talk to you.
184
530336
2426
08:52
I need to see if you're OK or if we need to go to the hospital."
185
532786
3051
08:55
He came out.
186
535861
1151
08:57
He had a big gash on his head, a split lip,
187
537036
2262
08:59
and he was physically shaken.
188
539839
1751
09:02
I was looking at him,
189
542334
1333
09:03
and I asked the boys to call for their mom,
190
543691
2559
09:06
because I needed to go to the hospital with him.
191
546274
2412
09:08
They called for their mom.
192
548710
1307
09:10
She came out.
193
550428
1192
09:12
I had my back turned to her, and she started screaming in Farsi.
194
552059
3579
09:16
The boys fell to the ground laughing.
195
556397
2075
09:18
I was very confused,
196
558496
1152
09:19
because there was nothing funny about this.
197
559672
2074
09:22
They explained to me that she said,
198
562210
2000
09:24
"You told me your coach was a Muslim and a woman."
199
564234
2814
09:27
From behind, I didn't appear to be either to her.
200
567072
2369
09:29
(Laughter)
201
569465
3633
09:33
"I am Muslim," I said, turning to her.
202
573122
2236
09:35
"Ašhadu ʾan lā ʾilāha ʾilla (A)llāh,"
203
575382
1931
09:37
reciting the Muslim declaration of faith.
204
577337
2369
09:40
Confused,
205
580407
1304
09:43
and perhaps maybe a little bit reassured,
206
583028
1990
09:45
she realized that yes,
207
585042
1155
09:46
I, this American-acting, shorts-wearing, non-veiled woman,
208
586221
3291
09:49
was indeed a Muslim.
209
589536
1190
09:51
Their family had fled the Taliban.
210
591986
1950
09:55
Hundreds of people in their village
211
595507
1704
09:57
were murdered.
212
597235
1246
09:58
Their father was taken in by the Taliban,
213
598505
2213
10:00
only to return a few months later, a shell of the man he once was.
214
600742
3801
10:06
The family escaped to Pakistan,
215
606558
2411
10:08
and the two older boys, age eight and 10 at the time,
216
608993
3568
10:12
wove rugs for 10 hours a day to provide for their family.
217
612585
3237
10:16
They were so excited when they found out that they had been approved
218
616746
3757
10:20
to resettle in the United States,
219
620527
2492
10:23
making them the lucky 0.1 percent who get to do that.
220
623043
3253
10:26
They had hit the jackpot.
221
626320
1590
10:28
Their story is not unique.
222
628750
1570
10:30
Every refugee family I have worked with has had some version of this.
223
630905
3908
10:34
I work with kids
224
634837
1340
10:37
who have seen their mothers raped, their fathers' fingers sliced off.
225
637026
3859
10:40
One kid saw a bullet put in his grandmother's head,
226
640909
2955
10:43
because she refused to let the rebels take him to be a child soldier.
227
643888
4038
10:49
Their journeys are haunting.
228
649763
1541
10:51
But what I get to see every day is hope, resilience, determination,
229
651760
5774
10:57
a love of life
230
657558
1185
10:58
and appreciation for being able to rebuild their lives.
231
658767
2844
11:03
I was at the boys' apartment one night,
232
663427
2125
11:05
when the mom came home after cleaning 18 hotel rooms in one day.
233
665576
4810
11:10
She sat down, and Noor rubbed her feet,
234
670410
2293
11:13
saying that he was going to take care of her once he graduated.
235
673499
3075
11:16
She smiled from exhaustion.
236
676598
1494
11:18
"God is good. Life is good. We are lucky to be here."
237
678116
3408
11:22
In the last two years, we have seen an escalating anti-refugee sentiment.
238
682821
4795
11:28
It's global.
239
688039
1219
11:30
The numbers continue to grow because we do nothing to prevent it
240
690399
3244
11:33
and nothing to stop it.
241
693667
1701
11:35
The issue shouldn't be stopping refugees from coming into our countries.
242
695392
3552
11:38
The issue should be not forcing them to leave their own.
243
698968
2988
11:41
(Applause)
244
701980
4435
11:58
Sorry.
245
718330
1325
11:59
(Applause)
246
719679
3928
12:09
How much more suffering,
247
729737
2525
12:12
how much more suffering must we take?
248
732286
2045
12:15
How many more people need to be forced out of their homes
249
735075
2771
12:17
before we say, "Enough!"?
250
737870
1381
12:19
A hundred million?
251
739275
1209
12:20
Not only do we shame, blame and reject them
252
740945
2826
12:25
for atrocities that they had absolutely nothing to do with,
253
745065
2833
12:28
we re-traumatize them,
254
748832
1155
12:30
when we're supposed to be welcoming them into our countries.
255
750011
2965
12:35
We strip them of their dignity and treat them like criminals.
256
755111
3303
12:38
I had a student in my office a couple of weeks ago.
257
758438
2706
12:41
She's originally from Iraq.
258
761168
1816
12:43
She broke down crying.
259
763008
1439
12:45
"Why do they hate us?"
260
765415
1628
12:47
"Who hates you?"
261
767067
1174
12:48
"Everyone; everyone hates us because we are refugees,
262
768265
2771
12:51
because we are Muslim."
263
771060
1356
12:53
In the past, I was able to reassure my students
264
773839
2336
12:56
that the majority of the world does not hate refugees.
265
776199
2637
12:58
But this time I couldn't.
266
778860
1385
13:00
I couldn't explain to her why someone tried to rip off her mother's hijab
267
780688
3480
13:04
when they were grocery shopping,
268
784192
1785
13:06
or why a player on an opposing team called her a terrorist
269
786001
3244
13:09
and told her to go back where she came from.
270
789269
2483
13:11
I couldn't reassure her
271
791776
1762
13:13
that her father's ultimate life sacrifice
272
793562
2339
13:15
by serving in the United States military as an interpreter
273
795925
3120
13:19
would make her more valued as an American citizen.
274
799069
2710
13:22
We take in so few refugees worldwide.
275
802871
2872
13:26
We resettle less than 0.1 percent.
276
806769
2686
13:30
That 0.1 percent benefits us more than them.
277
810598
3200
13:34
It dumbfounds me how the word "refugee" is considered something to be dirty,
278
814617
3786
13:38
something to be ashamed of.
279
818427
1613
13:40
They have nothing to be ashamed of.
280
820064
1864
13:45
We have seen advances in every aspect of our lives --
281
825647
2723
13:48
except our humanity.
282
828394
1378
13:50
There are 65.3 million people who have been forced out of their homes
283
830343
4439
13:54
because of war --
284
834806
1244
13:56
the largest number in history.
285
836505
1849
13:58
We are the ones who should be ashamed.
286
838930
2057
14:01
Thank you.
287
841532
1155
14:02
(Applause)
288
842711
6529
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7