Inés Hercovich: Why women stay silent after sexual assault (with English subtitles) | TED

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

There are about 5,000 women here today.

今天在場約有 5,000 名女性，

Among us, 1,250 have been or will be sexually assaulted

當中有 1,250 位曾被性侵，

或將在人生某個時間點會被性侵。

at some point in our lives.

One in four.

每四個人中就有一個；

Only 10 percent will report it.

其中只有 10% 的人會舉報，

The other 90 percent take refuge in silence --

其他 90% 避難在沉默中；

half of them, because the incident involves a close family member

當中一半的人因為性侵事件 涉及到家庭的近親

or someone they know,

或是她們認識的人，

and that makes it much more difficult to deal with and talk about.

使得情況更難處理、更難以啟齒；

The other half don't talk about it

而另一半說不出口

because they fear they won’t be believed.

是因為害怕沒人會相信她們。

And they're right -- because we don't.

她們的顧慮是對的， 我們的確不相信她們。

Today I want to share with you why I think we don't believe them.

今天，我和與各位分享 為什麼我們不相信她們。

We don't believe them because when a woman tells what happened to her,

我們不相信，是因為當 一位女性說出她的遭遇時，

she tells us things we can't imagine,

她說出我們無法想像的事情，

things that disturb us,

讓我們不舒服的事情，

things we don't expect to hear,

我們未預期聽到的事情，

things that shock us.

讓我們震驚的事情。

We expect to hear stories like this one:

我們預期聽到這樣的故事：

"Girl raped near the Mitre Railroad tracks.

「女孩在鄰近米特勒鐵路處被強暴。

It happened at midnight as she was on her way home.

事情發生在晚上，她正在回家路上。

She said that someone attacked her from behind,

她說，有人從後方攻擊她，

told her not to scream, said he had a gun and that she shouldn't move.

說他手上有槍， 叫她不許尖叫、不准動。

He raped her and then fled the scene."

他強暴了她，然後逃離現場。」

When we hear or read a story like this,

聽到或讀到這樣的故事，

we immediately visualize it:

我們馬上會將它視覺化：

the rapist, a depraved lower-class man.

強暴者是個頹廢的社會低層男性。

And the victim, a young, attractive woman.

受害者是年輕迷人的女性。

The image only lasts 10 or 20 seconds, and it's dark and two-dimensional;

這個畫面只會持續十或二十秒， 且它是黑暗、平面的；

there's no movement, no sound; it's as if there were no people involved.

沒有動態、沒有聲音； 就像沒有人涉入一樣。

But when a woman tells her story, it doesn't fit in 10 or 20 seconds.

但當一個女性說出她的故事， 不會是十秒或二十秒而已。

The following is the testimony of a woman I'll call "Ana."

下面是一位女子的證詞， 我用「安娜」來稱呼她。

She's one of the 85 women I interviewed

她是我所訪問的 85 位女性之一，

while conducting research on sexual assault.

我當時在做關於性侵的研究。

Ana told me:

安娜告訴我：

"I had gone with the girls in the office to the same pub we always go to.

「我和辦公室的其他女孩一起去 我們通常會去的那間酒吧。

We met some guys,

我們遇到幾個男生，

and I hooked up with this super cool guy; we talked a lot.

我認識了一個超酷的男生， 我們聊了很多。

Around 4am, I told my friends it was time to go.

大約清晨四點， 我告訴我朋友該走了。

They wanted to stay.

她們想留下。

So, the guy asked me where I lived

這個男生問我住在哪裡，

and said if it was OK with me, he'd drive me home.

他說如果我許可，他願意載我回家。

I agreed, and we left.

我說好，我們就離開了。

At a stoplight, he told me he liked me and touched my leg.

在等一個紅燈時，他告訴我 他喜歡我，並觸摸我的腿。

I don't like a guy to approach me that way,

我不喜歡男生用那種方式接近我，

but he had been affectionate all night.

但他整晚都很溫柔深情。

I thought, 'I shouldn't be so paranoid.

我心想用不著那麼多疑。

如果我說了什麼， 卻發現他的意圖不是我想的，

What if I say something but he didn't mean anything by it,

and I offend him?'

結果冒犯了他怎麼辦？

When he should have made a turn, he kept going straight.

當他該轉彎的時候卻繼續直行，

I thought he had made a mistake, and I said,

我想是他錯過了。

'You should have turned there.'

我說：「你剛剛那邊應該轉彎。」

But something felt off.

但感覺有點不太對勁。

Thinking back, I wonder,

現在回想，我納悶：

'Why didn't I pay attention to what I was feeling?'

「為什麼我沒有留意當時的感覺？」

When he pulled over near the highway,

當他在高速公路附近靠邊停車時，

that's when I got scared.

我感到害怕了。

But he told me to relax, that he liked me,

但他叫我放輕鬆，說他喜歡我，

and that nothing would happen unless I wanted it to.

且什麼都不會發生，除非我想要。

He was nice.

他人很好。

I didn't say anything,

我什麼都沒說，

because I was afraid he would get angry,

因為我怕他會生氣，

and that things would get worse.

情況就會變糟。

I thought he might have a gun in the glove compartment.

我猜想在手套置物箱中 可能會有把槍。

Suddenly, he jumped on me and tried to kiss me.

突然，他跳到我身上，試著親吻我。

I said no. I wanted to push him away, but he was holding my arms down.

我說不要，想把他推開， 但他壓制住我的手臂。

When I wriggled free, I tried to open the door, but it was locked.

當我掙開時，我試著開門， 但門被鎖住了。

And even if I had gotten out, where would I have gone?

就算我能逃出去，我能往哪跑？

I told him he wasn't the kind of guy who needed to do that to be with a girl,

我告訴他，他不是需要 對女孩做那種事的那種男人，

and that I liked him, too, but not in that way.

且我也喜歡他， 但不是那種喜歡方式。

I tried to calm him down.

我試著安撫他，

I said nice things about him.

對他說好話。

I talked to him as if I were his older sister.

我跟他說話的方式， 就像我是他姐姐一樣。

Suddenly, he covered my mouth with one hand

突然，他用一隻手摀住了我的嘴巴，

and with the other hand he unbuckled his belt.

用另一隻手解開了他的皮帶。

I thought right then he would kill me, strangle me, you know?

當下我以為他要殺我、 勒死我，你知道嗎？

I never felt so alone,

我從來沒有感到那麼孤單過，

like I had been kidnapped.

就像我被綁架了一樣。

I asked him to finish quickly and then take me home."

我請他快點結束，然後送我回家。」

How did you feel listening to this story?

聽這個故事，你們的感覺如何？

Surely, several questions arose.

當然，會想問許多問題。

For example: Why didn't she roll down the window and call for help?

比如：為什麼她不搖下窗戶求救？

Why didn't she get out of the car when she felt something bad might happen?

為什麼她不在感覺有壞事 要發生時就快點下車？

How could she ask him to take her home?

她怎麼能讓他載她回家？

Now, when we hear this kind of story not on the news

當我們聽到這種故事── 不是從新聞聽到，

or from someone like me, presenting it on a stage like this --

不是從像我這樣 在台上演說的人聽到──

when we're hearing it from someone we know

而是從認識的人那聽到這種故事，

who chose to entrust us with the story of what happened to them,

而且她是因信得過我們才說出來的，

we'll have to listen.

我們就得要傾聽。

And we'll hear things we won't be able to understand --

我們會聽到一些無法理解

or accept.

或無法接受的事。

And then doubts, questions and suspicion will creep in.

接著，懷疑、問題、猜疑 都會在不知不覺中產生，

And that is going to make us feel really bad and guilty.

使我們感到很糟且很有罪惡感。

So to protect ourselves from the discomfort, we have an option.

為了避開這種不舒服， 我們有個選項，

We turn up the volume on all the parts of the story

我們會把故事中預期聽見的部份

that we expected to hear:

通通給放大：

a gun in the glove compartment, the locked doors, the isolated location.

手套置物箱中的槍、 鎖上的門、偏遠的地點。

And we turn down the volume on all the parts of the story

我們會把故事中 我們不預期聽見、

that we didn't expect to hear

不想聽見的部份，

and that we don't want to hear;

通通給縮小；

like when she tells him that she liked him, too,

比如她告訴他說她也喜歡他、

or when she tells us she spoke to him as if she were his older sister,

她像姐姐般對他說話，

or that she asked him to take her home.

或是她請他送她回家。

Why do we do this?

為什麼我們要這樣做？

這樣我們才能相信她，

It's so we can believe her;

so we can feel confident that she really was a victim.

這樣我們才能確定她真的是受害者。

I call this "victimization of the victim."

我稱之為「將受害者給受害者化」。

"Victimization," because in order to believe she's innocent,

「受害者化」，為要相信她的無辜，

that she's a victim,

相信她是受害者，

we need to think of her as helpless, paralyzed, mute.

我們得要想像她無助、 嚇得不能動彈、說不出話來。

But there's another way to avoid the discomfort.

但還有另一種方式可以避免不舒服，

And it's exactly the opposite:

是完全相反的方式：

we turn up the volume on the things we didn't expect to hear,

我們會把故事中我們 不預期聽見的部份給放大，

such as "I spoke nicely to him," "I asked him to take me home,"

比如：「我好好跟他說」、 「我請他送我回家」、

"I asked him to finish quickly,"

「我請他快點結束」，

and we turn down the volume on the things we did expect to hear:

然後把我們預期聽見的部份給縮小：

the gun in the glove compartment,

手套置物箱中的槍、

the isolation.

偏遠地區。

Why do we do this?

為什麼我們要這樣做？

We do it so we can cling to the doubts

這樣我們才能緊緊抓住懷疑，

and feel more comfortable about them.

才能漸漸不會對懷疑感到不舒服。

Then, new questions arise, for instance:

接著，就會有新問題出現，比如：

Who told her go to those clubs?

誰叫她去那些夜店的？

You saw how she and her friends were dressed, right?

你看到她和她的朋友 怎麼穿的了，對吧？

Those miniskirts, those necklines?

那些迷你裙，那些領口？

What do you expect?

你期望發生什麼事？

Questions that aren't really questions, but rather, judgments --

這些其實不是問題，而是論斷──

judgments that end in a verdict:

論斷最後會以一個裁決收場：

she asked for it.

她自找的。

That finding would be verified by the fact

這個發現有事實可以背書，

that she didn't mention having struggled to avoid being raped.

她沒有提到她有掙扎或是被強暴。

So that means she didn't resist.

那意味著她沒有抵抗。

It means she consented.

那意味著她同意。

If she asked for it and allowed it,

如果是她自找的，她允許事情發生，

how are we calling it rape?

我們怎麼能稱之為強暴？

I call this "blaming the victim."

我稱之為「怪罪受害者。」

These arguments that serve us both to blame and to victimize,

「怪罪」或「受害者化」的論點，

we all have them in our heads, at hand --

在每個人的腦中、手上都有，

including victims and perpetrators.

連受害者和行兇者也都有。

So much so, that when Ana came to me,

所以，當安娜來找我、告訴我，

she told me she didn't know

她不知道她的證詞是否有用，

if her testimony was going to be of any use,

because she wasn't sure if what happened to her qualified as rape.

因為她不確定發生在她身上的事 是否算得上是強暴。

Ana believed, like most of us,

和我們大部份人一樣，

that rape is more like armed robbery --

安娜也相信強暴比較像武裝搶劫，

a violent act that lasts 4 or 5 minutes --

是持續四或五分鐘的暴力行為，

and not smooth talking from a nice guy

而不是一個持續一整晚 說話很柔和的好人，

that lasts all night and ends in a kidnapping.

最終以綁架收場。

When she felt afraid she might be killed,

當她覺得很害怕會被殺死時，

she was afraid to be left with scars,

她擔心會留下傷疤，

and she had to give her body to avoid it.

她得交出她的身體來避免這事發生。

That's when she knew that rape was something different.

那時，她就知道強暴是不同的。

Ana had never talked about this with anyone.

安娜從來沒有和任何人談過此事。

She could have turned to her family,

她可以向家人求助，

but she didn't.

但她沒有，

She didn't because she was afraid.

原因是她害怕。

She was afraid the person she'd choose to tell her story to

她害怕她傾訴的對象，

would have the same reaction as the rest of us:

反應會和我們其他所有人一樣，

they'd have doubts, suspicions;

會懷疑、猜疑；

those same questions we always have when it comes to things like this.

會有當聽到這類事情時

我們總是會問的那些問題。

And if that had happened,

如果真的是這樣，

it would have been worse, perhaps, than the rape itself.

那只會更糟，可能比強暴本身還糟。

She could have talked to a friend or a sister.

她可以和朋友或是姐妹談。

And with her partner, it would have been extremely difficult:

若和她的另一半談會極度困難；

the slightest hint of doubt on his face or in his voice

只要他的臉上或聲音中 有一點點懷疑的跡象，

would have been devastating for her

對她就會是很大的傷害，

and would have probably meant the end of their relationship.

也可能會讓他們的關係結束。

Ana keeps silent because deep down she knows

安娜保持沉默， 因為她內心深處知道，

that nobody -- none of us, not her family or therapists,

沒有人──

不論是我們、她的家人、治療師、

let alone the police or judges --

更不用說警察或法官──

are willing to hear what Ana actually did in that moment.

沒有人願意聽 當時安娜到底做了什麼。

First and foremost, Ana said, "No."

首先，也是最重要的， 安娜說了「不要」。

When she saw that her "no" didn't help,

當她發現她的「不要」沒有用時，

she spoke nicely to him.

她好好地跟他說。

She tried not to exacerbate his violence

她試著不要觸發他的暴力行為

or give him ideas.

或是讓他想歪。

She talked to him as if everything that was happening were normal,

她裝作一切正常地在跟他說話，

so he wouldn't be thinking that she would turn him in later.

這樣他才不會認為她之後會告發他。

Now, I wonder and I ask all of you:

我很納悶，我想問在座所有人：

All those things she did --

所有她做的那些事不算抵抗嗎？

isn't that considered resisting?

No.

不算。

For all or at least most of us, it's not,

至少對大部份人而言，那不算，

probably because it's not "resisting" in the eyes of the law.

因為從法律的角度來看 那不算是「抵抗」。

In most countries,

大部份國家的法律

the laws still require that the victim prove her innocence --

仍然要求受害者證明她自己無辜。

that's right: the victim needs to prove her innocence --

沒錯，受害者得要證明自己無辜，

by showing marks on her body

做法是展示身上的傷痕

as evidence that she engaged in a vigorous and continuous fight

當作是證據，

證明她曾奮力持續對抗攻擊她的人。

with her aggressor.

I can assure you, in most court cases,

我向各位保證， 在大部份法庭案件中，

no amount of marks is ever enough.

不論多少傷痕都不足夠。

I listened to many women's stories.

我傾聽了許多女性的故事，

And I didn't hear any of them talking about themselves

沒聽到任何一個在談論自己的時候，

像是已經被降格成一樣東西，

as if they had been reduced to a thing,

totally subjected to the will of the other.

完全屈服於另一方的意圖。

Rather, they sounded astonished and even a little proud

反之，聽起來吃驚，甚至有些自豪，

looking back

她們事後回想

and thinking how clear-headed they had been at the time,

當時頭腦有多清楚，

of how much attention they paid to every detail,

有多麼注意到每個細節，

as if that would allow them to exert some control over what was happening.

彷彿這麼做就能讓她們 多少控制住發生的事情。

Then I realized,

接著，我了解到，

of course --

當然

what women are doing in these situations

在這類情況下，

is negotiating.

女性是在談判協商，

They're trading sex for life.

用性來換性命。

They ask the aggressor to finish quickly,

她們要求性侵者快點完事，

so everything is over as soon as possible and at the lowest cost.

這樣才會快點落幕， 把成本降到最低。

They subject themselves to penetration,

她們讓自己被侵入，

because believe it or not,

信不信由你，

penetration is what keeps them furthest

是因為侵入最能讓她們遠離

from a sexual or emotional scenario.

性或是情緒的情境。

They subject themselves to penetration,

她們讓自己被侵入，

because penetration is less painful

因為，相對於親吻、 愛撫或溫柔的話語，

than kisses, caresses and gentle words.

侵入是比較不痛苦的。

Now, if we continue to expect

如果我們繼續預期

rape to be what it very rarely is --

強暴是那種實際上 不太可能發生的樣子，

with the rapist as a depraved lower-class man

強暴犯是頹廢的社會低層男性，

and not a university student or a businessman

而不是在星期五或星期六 外出追求女孩的

who goes out chasing after girls on a Friday or Saturday;

大學生或是生意人；

if we keep expecting the victims to be demure women

如果我們持續預期受害者

who faint on the scene,

都是在現場會昏倒的嫻靜女性，

and not self-confident women --

而不是自信的女子──

we will continue to be unable to listen.

那麼我們無法傾聽的情況將會持續。

Women will continue to be unable to speak.

女性無法說出來的情況將會持續。

And we will all continue to be responsible

而我們也將持續要為她們的沉默、

for that silence

以及孤獨，

and their solitude.

負起責任。

(Applause)

（掌聲）