Three ideas. Three contradictions. Or not. | Hannah Gadsby

1,406,766 views ใƒป 2019-06-12

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ไธ‹ใฎ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใงใใพใ™ใ€‚

็ฟป่จณ: Moe Shoji ๆ กๆญฃ: Natsuhiko Mizutani
00:12
My name is Hannah.
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็งใฏใƒใƒณใƒŠ๏ผˆHannah๏ผ‰ใงใ™
00:14
And that is a palindrome.
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ๅ›žๆ–‡ใซใชใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™
00:17
That is a word you can spell the same forwards and backwards,
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ๅ‰ใ‹ใ‚‰ๆ›ธใ„ใฆใ‚‚ ๅพŒใ‚ใ‹ใ‚‰ๆ›ธใ„ใฆใ‚‚ๅŒใ˜็ถดใ‚Šใงใ™
00:23
if you can spell.
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ใกใ‚ƒใ‚“ใจๆ›ธใ‘ใฐใญ
00:25
But the thing is --
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้ข็™ฝใ„ใ“ใจใซโ€•
00:26
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
00:29
my entire family have palindromic names.
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ใ†ใกใฎๅฎถๆ—ใฏ ๅ…จๅ“กๅๅ‰ใŒๅ›žๆ–‡ใชใ‚“ใงใ™
00:31
It's a bit of a tradition.
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ใ†ใกใฎไผ็ตฑใงใ™
00:33
We've got Mum, Dad --
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ๆฏ๏ผˆใฏใฏ๏ผ‰ใงใ—ใ‚‡ ็ˆถ๏ผˆใกใก๏ผ‰ใงใ—ใ‚‡โ€•
00:36
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
00:38
Nan, Pop.
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ใƒใ‚กใƒใจใ‚ธใ‚ฃใ‚ธ
00:40
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
00:43
And my brother, Kayak.
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ๅผŸใฏใ‚ซใƒคใƒƒใ‚ฏ๏ผˆKayak๏ผ‰
00:45
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
00:47
There you go.
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ใปใ‚‰ใญ
00:48
That's just a bit a joke, there.
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ใกใ‚‡ใฃใจใ—ใŸใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใงใ™ใ‘ใฉ
00:50
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
00:51
I like to kick things off with a joke because I'm a comedian.
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ใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใ‹ใ‚‰ๅง‹ใ‚ใ‚‹ใฎใŒๅฅฝใใชใฎใฏ ็งใŒใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
00:55
Now there's two things you know about me already:
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ใ‚‚ใ†็งใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ ๏ผ’ใคใ‚‚ใ”ๅญ˜ใ˜ใงใ™ใญ
00:57
my name's Hannah and I'm a comedian.
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ๅๅ‰ใฏใƒใƒณใƒŠ ่ทๆฅญใฏใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณ
00:59
I'm wasting no time.
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ไธ€ๅˆปใ‚‚็„ก้ง„ใซใ—ใฆใพใ›ใ‚“
01:00
Here's a third thing you can know about me:
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็งใซใคใ„ใฆ๏ผ“ใคใ‚ใฎๆƒ…ๅ ฑใงใ™
01:03
I don't think I'm qualified to speak my own mind.
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็งใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๆ€ใ„ใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹่ณ‡ๆ ผใŒ ใชใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™
01:07
Bold way to begin a talk, yes,
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ใƒˆใƒผใ‚ฏใฎๅ†’้ ญใซใ—ใกใ‚ƒ ๅคง่ƒ†ใงใ™ใ‚ˆใญ
01:10
but it's true.
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ใงใ‚‚ๆœฌๅฝ“ใงใ™
01:11
I've always had a great deal of difficulty
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่€ƒใˆใ‚’่จ€่‘‰ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใซใฏ
01:14
turning my thinking into the talking.
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ใ„ใคใ ใฃใฆ่‹ฆๅŠดใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ™
01:17
So it seems a bit of a contradiction, then,
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ใกใ‚‡ใฃใจใ—ใŸ็Ÿ›็›พใงใ™ใ‚ˆใญ
01:19
that someone like me, who is so bad at the chat,
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ใŠใ—ใ‚ƒในใ‚ŠใŒ่‹ฆๆ‰‹ใช ็งใชใ‚“ใ‹ใŒ
01:22
could be something like a stand-up comedian.
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ใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒณใƒ€ใƒƒใƒ—ใƒปใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณใซ ใชใ‚‹ใชใ‚“ใฆ
01:25
But there you go. There you go.
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ใจใ“ใ‚ใŒ ใจใ“ใ‚ใŒ
01:27
It's what it is.
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ใชใฃใกใ‚ƒใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
01:28
I first tried my hand at stand-up comedi -- comedie ... See?
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ๅˆใ‚ใฆ ใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒณใƒ€ใƒƒใƒ—ใƒปใ‚ณใƒกใ‚จใƒ‡ใ‚ฃ... ใปใ‚‰ใญ
01:33
See? See?
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ใปใ‚‰ใญ ใปใ‚‰ใญ
01:34
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
01:37
I first tried my hand at stand-up comedy
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ใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒณใƒ€ใƒƒใƒ—ใƒปใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใซ ๅˆใ‚ใฆ ๆŒ‘ๆˆฆใ—ใŸใฎใฏ
01:40
in my late 20s,
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20ไปฃๅพŒๅŠใงใ—ใŸ
01:41
and despite being a pathologically shy virtual mute with low self-esteem
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็—…็š„ใชใพใงใซใ‚ทใƒฃใ‚คใง ๆ–‡ๅญ—้€šใ‚Š็„กๅฃใง ่‡ชๅฐŠๅฟƒใŒไฝŽใใฆ
01:46
who'd never held a microphone before,
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ใƒžใ‚คใ‚ฏใ‚‚ๆกใฃใŸใ“ใจใŒใชใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใซ
01:48
I knew as soon as I walked and stood in front of the audience,
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่ฆณๅฎขใฎๅ‰ใซ็ซ‹ใคใจ ใ™ใใซๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
01:53
I knew, before I'd even landed my first joke,
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ๆœ€ๅˆใฎใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใฎใ‚ชใƒใ‚’ ่จ€ใ†ๅ‰ใซๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
01:56
I knew that I really liked stand-up,
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ใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒณใƒ€ใƒƒใƒ—ใŒใ™ใ”ใๅฅฝใใง
01:59
and stand-up really liked me.
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ใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒณใƒ€ใƒƒใƒ—ใซๅฅฝใ‹ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ ๅˆ†ใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
02:02
But for the life of me, I couldn't work out why.
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ใงใ‚‚ ใฉใ†ใ„ใ†ใ‚ใ‘ใชใฎใ‹ ่ฆ‹ๅฝ“ใ‚‚ใคใใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ
02:05
Why is it I could be so good at doing something I was so bad at?
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ใ“ใ‚“ใชใซ่‹ฆๆ‰‹ใชใ“ใจใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใŒ ใฉใ†ใ—ใฆใ“ใ‚“ใชใซไธŠๆ‰‹ใ„ใฎใ‹๏ผŸ
02:10
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
02:12
I just couldn't work it out, I could not understand it.
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ใ•ใฃใฑใ‚Šๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ็†่งฃไธ่ƒฝใงใ—ใŸใŒ
02:15
That is, until I could.
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ใ‚„ใŒใฆ็†่งฃใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
02:17
Now, before I explain to you why it is
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ใ•ใฆ ใ“ใ‚“ใชใซ่‹ฆๆ‰‹ใชใ“ใจใŒ
02:19
that I can be good at something I'm so bad at,
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ใฉใ†ใ—ใฆไธŠๆ‰‹ใ„ใฎใ‹ใ‚’ ่ชฌๆ˜Žใ™ใ‚‹ๅ‰ใซ
02:23
let me throw another spanner of contradiction into the work
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ใ‚‚ใ†ใฒใจใคใฎ็Ÿ›็›พใ‚‚ ๅ…ˆใซๆŠ•ไธ‹ใ—ใฆใŠใใพใ™ใ‚ˆ
02:26
by telling you that not long after I worked out why that was,
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ใ“ใฎ็†็”ฑใŒๅˆ†ใ‹ใฃใฆใ‹ใ‚‰ใ™ใ
02:30
I decided to quit comedy.
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‹ใ‚‰ ๅผ•้€€ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซใ—ใŸใจใ„ใ†่ฉฑใงใ™
02:33
And before I explain that little oppositional cat
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่€ƒใˆไธญใฎ็š†ใ•ใ‚“ใซๅ‡บใ—ใŸ ใ‚คใ‚ธใƒฏใƒซใชๅ•้กŒใซใคใ„ใฆ
02:35
I just threw amongst the thinking pigeons,
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ใชใž่งฃใใ‚’ใŠ่ฉฑใ—ใ™ใ‚‹ๅ‰ใซ
02:38
let me also tell you this:
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ใฉใ†ใชใฃใŸใ‹ใŠไผใˆใ—ใพใ™
02:41
quitting launched my comedy career.
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ๅผ•้€€ใ—ใŸใฏใšใŒ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณใจใ—ใฆ ไบบๆฐ—ใŒๅ‡บใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
02:43
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
02:45
Like, really launched it, to the point where after quitting comedy,
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚’่พžใ‚ใŸๅพŒใซ ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซไบบๆฐ—ใŒๆฒธ้จฐใ—ใฆ
02:50
I became the most talked-about comedian on the planet,
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ๅœฐ็ƒไธŠใงไธ€็•ช่ฉฑ้กŒใฎ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณใซใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
02:52
because apparently, I'm even worse at making retirement plans
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ใฉใ†ใ‚„ใ‚‰ ่€ƒใˆใ‚’่จ€่‘‰ใซใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚
02:56
than I am at speaking my own mind.
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ๅผ•้€€ๅพŒใฎไบบ็”Ÿ่จญ่จˆใฎใปใ†ใŒ ใ•ใ‚‰ใซไธ‹ๆ‰‹ใชใ‚ˆใ†ใงใ™
03:00
Now, all I've done up until this point
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ใ•ใฆ ใ“ใ“ใพใงใŠ่ฉฑใ—ใ™ใ‚‹ไธญใง
03:04
apart from giving over a spattering of biographical detail
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ใกใ‚‡ใฃใจใ—ใŸ่‡ชๅทฑ็ดนไป‹ใ‚’้™คใ‘ใฐ
03:08
is to tell you indirectly that I have three ideas
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ไปŠๆ—ฅใŠ่ฉฑใ—ใ—ใŸใ„ ๏ผ“ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใ‚’
03:10
that I want to share with you today.
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้–“ๆŽฅ็š„ใซไผใˆใฆใใพใ—ใŸ
03:12
And I've done that by way of sharing three contradictions:
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๏ผ“ใคใฎ็Ÿ›็›พใ‚’ๆ็คบใ—ใพใ—ใŸใญ
03:15
one, I am bad at talking, I am good at talking;
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ใฒใจใคใ‚ใฏใ€Œ่ฉฑใ™ใฎใŒ่‹ฆๆ‰‹ใ ใ‘ใฉ ่ฉฑใ™ใฎใŒไธŠๆ‰‹ใ„ใ€
03:18
I quit, I did not quit.
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ใใ—ใฆใ€Œ่พžใ‚ใŸใ‘ใฉ ่พžใ‚ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ€
03:21
Three ideas, three contradictions.
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๏ผ“ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใจ๏ผ“ใคใฎ็Ÿ›็›พใงใ™
03:23
Now, if you're wondering why there's only two things
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๏ผ“ใคใจ่จ€ใ†ใ‚ใ‚Šใซ ๏ผ’ใคใ—ใ‹ใชใ„ใฎใฏใชใœใ‹ใจ
03:26
on my so-called list of three --
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่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใŒโ€•
03:27
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
03:28
I remind you it is literally a list of contradictions.
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ใใ‚Œใ“ใใŒๆ–‡ๅญ—้€šใ‚Š ็Ÿ›็›พใชใ‚“ใงใ™
03:31
Keep up.
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ใคใ„ใฆใใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
03:32
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
03:34
Now, the folks at TED advised me that with a talk of this length,
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TEDใฎไบบใŸใกใซใฏ ใ“ใฎ้•ทใ•ใฎใƒˆใƒผใ‚ฏใชใ‚‰
03:39
it's best to stick with just sharing one idea.
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๏ผ‘ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใซ็ตžใ‚‹ใฎใŒใ„ใ„ใจ ่จ€ใ‚ใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸ
03:42
I said no.
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ใŠๆ–ญใ‚Šใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
03:44
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
03:47
What would they know?
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ไฝ•ใ‚’ใ‚‚ใฃใฆใใ†่จ€ใ†ใฎใ‹
03:49
To explain why I have chosen to ignore what is clearly very good advice,
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ๆ˜Žใ‚‰ใ‹ใซ่‰ฏใ„ใ‚ขใƒ‰ใƒใ‚คใ‚นใงใ™ใŒ ๅพ“ใ‚ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚ใ‘ใ‚’่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
03:54
I want to take you back to the beginning of this talk,
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ใƒˆใƒผใ‚ฏใฎๅ†’้ ญใซ่ฉฑใ‚’ๆˆปใ—ใพใ™
03:57
specifically, my palindrome joke.
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ๅ›žๆ–‡ใฎใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใงใ™
03:59
Now that joke uses my favorite trick of the comedian trade,
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ใ“ใฎใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใซใฏ็งใŒๅฅฝใใช ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใฎๆณ•ๅ‰‡ใŒไฝฟใ‚ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ™
04:03
the rule of three,
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๏ผ“ใฎๆณ•ๅ‰‡ใงใ™
04:04
whereby you make a statement
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ใ‚ใ‚‹่€ƒใˆใ‚’่ฟฐในใฆ
04:05
and then back that statement up
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ใƒชใ‚นใƒˆใ‚ขใƒƒใƒ—ใ—ใฆใ„ใใพใ™
04:07
with a list.
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04:08
My entire family have palindromic names:
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ใ€Œใ†ใกใฎๅฎถๆ—ใฏ ๅ…จๅ“กๅๅ‰ใŒๅ›žๆ–‡ใชใ‚“ใงใ™ใ€
04:11
Mum, Dad, Nan, Pop.
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ใ€Œๆฏ ็ˆถ ใƒใ‚กใƒ ใ‚ธใ‚ฃใ‚ธใ€
04:14
The first two ideas on that list create a pattern,
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ๆœ€ๅˆใฎ๏ผ’ใคใง ใƒ‘ใ‚ฟใƒผใƒณใŒ็”Ÿใพใ‚Œใพใ™
04:18
and that pattern creates expectation.
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ใƒ‘ใ‚ฟใƒผใƒณใ‹ใ‚‰ไบˆๆธฌใŒ็”Ÿใ˜ใฆ
04:20
And then the third thing -- bam! -- Kayak. What?
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ใใ‚Œใ‹ใ‚‰๏ผ“ใคใ‚ใŒใ‚ชใƒใงใ™ ใ‚ซใƒคใƒƒใ‚ฏ๏ผŸ ไฝ•ใ ใฃใฆ๏ผŸ
04:23
That's the rule of three.
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ใ“ใ‚ŒใŒ๏ผ“ใฎๆณ•ๅ‰‡ใงใ™
04:24
One, two, surprise! Ha ha.
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๏ผ‘ใ€๏ผ’ใ€ใ‚ตใƒ—ใƒฉใ‚คใ‚บ๏ผ ใฏใฏใฏ
04:27
(Laughter)
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ใ•ใฆโ€• ๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
04:32
Now, the rule of three is not only fundamental to the way I do my craft,
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๏ผ“ใฎๆณ•ๅ‰‡ใฏ็งใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใฎ ๅŸบ็คŽใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ใงใชใ
04:37
it is also fundamental to the way I communicate.
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็งใฎใ‚ณใƒŸใƒฅใƒ‹ใ‚ฑใƒผใ‚ทใƒงใƒณใฎ ๅŸบ็คŽใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
04:40
So I won't be changing anything for nobody,
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ไฝ•ใ‚’่จ€ใ‚ใ‚Œใ‚ˆใ†ใจ TEDใฎใŸใ‚ใ ใฃใฆๅค‰ใˆใฏใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“
04:43
not even TED,
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04:44
which, I will point out, stands for three ideas:
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TED ใ ใฃใฆ๏ผ“ใคใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใ„ใงใ™ใ‹
04:47
technology, entertainment
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ใƒ†ใ‚ฏใƒŽใƒญใ‚ธใƒผ ใ‚จใƒณใ‚ฟใƒผใƒ†ใ‚คใƒณใƒกใƒณใƒˆ
04:49
and dickheads.
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ใƒ‡ใ‚ญใใ“ใชใ„
04:50
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
04:53
Works every time, doesn't it?
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ใ“ใฎๆณ•ๅ‰‡ใฏไธ‡่ƒฝใงใ—ใ‚‡๏ผŸ
04:57
But you need more than just jokes
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ใจใฏใ„ใˆ ใƒ—ใƒญใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณใจใ—ใฆใฏ
04:59
to be able to cut it as a professional comedian.
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ใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใ ใ‘ใงใฏไธๅๅˆ†ใงใ™
05:02
You need to be able to walk that fine line between being charming
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้ญ…ๅŠ›ใจๅผ›็ทฉใฎ็ตถๅฆ™ใชๅŠ ๆธ›ใŒๅคงไบ‹ใงใ™
05:06
and disarming.
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05:07
And I discovered the most effective way to generate the amount of charm I needed
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ๅ’Œใพใ›ใ‚ญใƒฃใƒฉใงใ‚‚ใชใ„็งใฎๆ€งๆ ผใ‚’ ่ฃœใ†ใซใฏ้ญ…ๅŠ›ใ‚’้ซ˜ใ‚ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใŒใ‚ใ‚Š
05:13
to offset my disarming personality
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ใใฎไธ€็•ชๅŠนๆžœ็š„ใชๆ–นๆณ•ใฏ
05:17
was through not jokes but stories.
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ใ‚ธใƒงใƒผใ‚ฏใงใฏใชใ ใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใ ใจๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
05:19
So my stand-up routines are filled with stories:
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ ็งใฎใƒใ‚ฟใฏ ใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใŒๅคšใ„ใ‚“ใงใ™
05:22
stories about growing up, my coming out story,
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ๅนผๅฐ‘ๆ™‚ไปฃใฎ่ฉฑใ‚„ ใ‚ซใƒŸใƒณใ‚ฐใ‚ขใ‚ฆใƒˆใ—ใŸ่ฉฑ
05:24
stories about the abuse I've copped for being not only a woman
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ๅฅณๆ€งใง ไฝ“ๆ ผใŒๅคงใใ„ไธŠใซ
05:27
but a big woman and a masculine-of-center woman.
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ใƒžใ‚นใ‚ญใƒฅใƒชใƒณใ‚ชใƒ–ใ‚ปใƒณใ‚ฟใƒผใฎ็”ทๆ€งๆ€งใ‚†ใˆใซ ๅ—ใ‘ใฆใใŸ่ชน่ฌ—ไธญๅ‚ทใฎ่ฉฑใชใฉใงใ™
05:31
If you watch my work online, check the comments out below
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ใƒใƒƒใƒˆใง็งใฎใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใฎ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒณใƒˆๆฌ„ใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚Œใฐ
05:34
for examples of abuse.
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ใฉใ‚“ใช่ชน่ฌ—ไธญๅ‚ทใ‹ใ‚ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ™
05:37
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
05:39
It's that time in the talk where I shift into second gear,
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ใ“ใ“ใงใƒˆใƒผใ‚ฏใฎใ‚ฎใ‚ขใ‚’ ใ‚ปใ‚ซใƒณใƒ‰ใซๅ…ฅใ‚Œใฆ
05:42
and I'm going to tell you a story about everything I've just said.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใพใง่ฟฐในใฆใใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ ใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใงใŠ่ฉฑใ—ใ—ใพใ™
05:46
In the last few days of her life,
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ไบกใใชใ‚‹ๅ‰ใฎๆ•ฐๆ—ฅ้–“
05:49
my grandma was surrounded by people,
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็ฅ–ๆฏใฏไบบใ€…ใซๅ›ฒใพใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
05:52
a lot of people,
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ใŸใใ•ใ‚“ใฎไบบใซใงใ™
05:53
because my grandma was the loving matriarch
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ใ†ใกใฎ็ฅ–ๆฏใฏ ๆ„›ๆƒ…ๆทฑใ„ๅคงๅฎถๆ—ใฎ
05:56
of a large and loving family.
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ๆ„›ใ™ในใๅฅณๅฎถ้•ทใ ใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
05:59
Now, if you haven't made the connection already,
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ใพใ ใŠๆฐ—ใฅใใงใชใ„ๆ–นใฎใŸใ‚ใซ่จ€ใˆใฐ
06:01
I am a member of that family.
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็งใ‚‚ใใฎๅฎถๆ—ใฎไธ€ๅ“กใงใ™
06:03
I was lucky enough to be able to say goodbye to my grandma
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ๅนธ้‹ใชใ“ใจใซ ็ฅ–ๆฏใŒไบกใใชใ‚‹ใใฎๆ—ฅใซ
06:06
on the day she died.
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ใŠๅˆฅใ‚Œใ‚’่จ€ใ†ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ—ใŸ
06:08
But as she was already cocooned within herself by then,
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ใงใ‚‚ ็ฅ–ๆฏใฎๆ„่ญ˜ใฏ ใ™ใงใซ้ ใฎใใคใคใ‚ใฃใŸใฎใง
06:11
it was something of a one-sided goodbye.
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ไธ€ๆ–น็š„ใชใŠๅˆฅใ‚Œใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
06:15
So I thought about a lot of things,
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ใใ“ใง ่‰ฒใ€…ใจ่€ƒใˆใพใ—ใŸ
06:18
things I hadn't thought about in a long time,
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้•ทใ„ใ“ใจ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใชใ“ใจใ‚’
06:21
like the letters I used to write to my grandma
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ๅคงๅญฆๅ…ฅๅญฆๅฝ“ๅˆใซ ็ฅ–ๆฏใซๅฎ›ใฆใฆๆ›ธใ„ใŸโ€•
06:23
when I first started university,
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ๆ‰‹็ด™ใชใ‚“ใ‹ใฎใ“ใจใ‚’
06:25
letters I filled with funny stories and anecdotes
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ๆฅฝใ—ใ‚“ใงใ‚‚ใ‚‰ใˆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซ ใกใ‚‡ใฃใจ่„š่‰ฒใ‚’ๅŠ ใˆใฆ
06:28
that I embellished for her amusement.
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้ข็™ฝใ„ใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใ‚’ ใŸใใ•ใ‚“ๆ›ธใ้€ฃใญใพใ—ใŸ
06:31
And I remembered how I couldn't articulate
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๆ‰‹ใซใฏไฝ™ใ‚‹ใปใฉๅบƒใ„ไธ–็•Œใง
06:33
the anxiety and fear that filled me as I tried to carve my tiny little life
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้“ใ‚’ๅˆ‡ใ‚Š้–‹ใ“ใ†ใจใ™ใ‚‹ใจใใซ
่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎไธญใซใ‚ใตใ‚Œใ‚‹ ไธๅฎ‰ใ‚„ๆๆ€–ใซใคใ„ใฆใฏ
06:39
into a world that felt far too big for me.
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ไธŠๆ‰‹ใไผใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚’ ๆ€ใ„ๅ‡บใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
06:43
But I remembered finding comfort in those letters,
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ใงใ‚‚ๆ‰‹็ด™ใ‚’ๆ›ธใใ“ใจใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๆ…ฐใ‚ใซใ‚‚ใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
06:46
because I wrote them with my grandma in mind.
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็ฅ–ๆฏใฎใ“ใจใ‚’ๆ€ใฃใฆ ๆ›ธใ„ใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
06:50
But as the world got more and more overwhelming
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ใ‚„ใŒใฆ ๅ‘จใ‚Šใฎไธ–็•Œใซ ใฉใ‚“ใฉใ‚“ๅœงๅ€’ใ•ใ‚Œใฆ
06:52
and my ability to negotiate it got worse, not better,
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ไธŠๆ‰‹ใไน—ใ‚Šๅˆ‡ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ ใงใใชใใชใฃใฆใ„ใใจ
06:56
I stopped writing those letters.
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ๆ‰‹็ด™ใ‚’ๆ›ธใใฎใ‚’ใ‚„ใ‚ใพใ—ใŸ
07:00
I just didn't think I had the life that Grandma would want to read about.
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็ฅ–ๆฏใŒๆ‰‹็ด™ใง็Ÿฅใ‚ŠใŸใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใช็”Ÿๆดปใ‚’ ้€ใฃใฆใฏใ„ใชใ„ใจๆ€ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
07:06
Grandma did not know I was gay,
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็ฅ–ๆฏใฏ็งใŒใ‚ฒใ‚คใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใจ ็Ÿฅใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ
07:08
and about six months before she died,
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ไบกใใชใ‚‹ๅŠๅนดใปใฉๅ‰ใซ
07:10
out of nowhere, she asked me if I had a boyfriend.
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็ช็„ถ ๅฝผๆฐใฏใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใจ ็ฅ–ๆฏใซ่žใ‹ใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸ
07:14
Now, I remember making a conscious decision in that moment
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ใใฎ็žฌ้–“ใซ ็ฅ–ๆฏใซใฏ ใ‚ซใƒ ใ‚ขใ‚ฆใƒˆใ—ใชใ„ใจ
07:17
not to come out to my grandmother.
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ใฏใฃใใ‚Šใจๆฑบใ‚ใŸใฎใ‚’่ฆšใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™
07:20
And I did that because I knew her life was drawing to an end,
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰ ็ฅ–ๆฏใฎๅ‘ฝใฏ ๅฐฝใใ‚ˆใ†ใจใ—ใฆใŠใ‚Š
07:24
and my time with her was finite,
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้™ใ‚‰ใ‚ŒใŸๆ™‚้–“ใฎไธญใง
07:25
and I did not want to talk about the ways we were different.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใจ็ฅ–ๆฏใฎ้•ใ„ใซใคใ„ใฆใฏ ่ฉฑใ—ใŸใใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
07:28
I wanted to talk about the ways were we connected.
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็ฅ–ๆฏใจใคใชใŒใ‚Šใ‚’ๆ„Ÿใ˜ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ไบ‹ๆŸ„ใ‚’ ่ฉฑใ—ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
07:32
So I changed the subject.
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ ่ฉฑ้กŒใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใพใ—ใŸ
07:35
And at the time, it felt like the right decision.
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ใใฎๆ™‚ใฏ ๆญฃใ—ใ„ๅˆคๆ–ญใซๆ€ใˆใพใ—ใŸ
07:38
But as I sat witness to my grandmother's life
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ใงใ‚‚ ็ฅ–ๆฏใฎๅ‘ฝใŒ ๅพใ€…ใซๆถˆใˆใ‚†ใใฎใ‚’
07:41
as it tapered to its inevitable end,
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ๅบงใฃใฆ ็›ฎใฎๅฝ“ใŸใ‚Šใซใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจ
07:43
I couldn't help but feel I'd made a mistake
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็งใฎไบบ็”Ÿใงใ“ใ‚Œใปใฉ้‡่ฆใชใ“ใจใ‚’
07:46
not to share such a significant part of my life.
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ไผใˆใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ“ใจใŒ ้–“้•ใ„ใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆฐ—ๆŒใกใซใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
07:51
But I also knew that I'd missed my opportunity,
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ใใ—ใฆ ใใฎๆฉŸไผšใ‚’ ้€ธใ—ใฆใ—ใพใฃใŸใฎใ ใจๆ‚Ÿใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
07:55
and as Grandma always used to say,
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็ฅ–ๆฏใŒใ‚ˆใ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใซ
07:57
"Ah, well, it's all part of the soup.
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ใ€Œใ‚ใƒผใ‚ ใ‚‚ใ†ใ‚นใƒผใƒ—ใซๆบถใ‘ใกใ‚ƒใฃใŸใญ
07:59
Too late to take the onions out now."
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็Ž‰ใญใŽใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Šๅ‡บใใ†ใฃใŸใฃใฆ ใ‚‚ใ†้…ใ„ใ‚ˆใ€
08:02
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
08:04
And I thought about that,
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ใใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ๆ€ใ„
08:05
and I thought about how I had to deal with too many onions
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ๆˆ้•ทใ™ใ‚‹ใซใคใ‚Œ ใฉใ‚Œใปใฉๅคšใใฎใ€Œ็Ž‰ใญใŽใ€ใซ ๅ‘ใๅˆใ‚ใญใฐใชใ‚‰ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚’่€ƒใˆใพใ—ใŸ
08:09
as a kid,
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08:11
growing up gay in a state where homosexuality was illegal.
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็งใŒ่‚ฒใฃใŸๅทžใงใฏ ๅŒๆ€งๆ„›ใŒ้•ๆณ•ใ ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
08:16
And with that thought, I could see how tightly wrapped
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ใใฎใ“ใจใจๅ…ฑใซ ๅ†…้ขๅŒ–ใ•ใ‚ŒใŸๆฅใจใ„ใ†่”“ใซ
08:19
in the tendrils of my own internalized shame I was.
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ใ“ใฎ่บซใ‚’ใใคใ็ตกใ‚ๅ–ใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใŸใ‹ใŒ ๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
08:22
And with that, I thought about all my traumas:
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒๆŠฑใˆใ‚‹ ใ‚ใ‚‰ใ‚†ใ‚‹ใƒˆใƒฉใ‚ฆใƒžใซใคใ„ใฆ่€ƒใˆใพใ—ใŸ
08:25
the violence, the abuse, my rape.
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ๆšดๅŠ› ่™ๅพ… ใƒฌใ‚คใƒ—ใชใฉใงใ™
08:32
And with all that cluster of thinking,
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ใใ‚“ใช้ขจใซ่‰ฒใ€…ใชๆ€ใ„ใŒ ไบค้Œฏใ™ใ‚‹ไธญใง
08:34
a thought, a question, kept popping into my mind
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ใ‚ใ‚‹่€ƒใˆ ็ญ”ใˆใฎใชใ„ๅ•ใ„ใŒ
08:37
to which I had no answer:
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้ ญใซๆตฎใ‹ใณใพใ—ใŸ
08:39
What is the purpose of my human?
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็งใจใ„ใ†ไบบ้–“ใฏ ใชใœๅญ˜ๅœจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹๏ผŸ
08:43
Out of anyone in my family, I felt the most akin to my grandmother.
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ๅฎถๆ—ใฎไธญใง ็ฅ–ๆฏใฏ ไธ€็•ช่ฟ‘ใ—ใ„ๅญ˜ๅœจใงใ—ใŸ
08:48
I mean, we share the most traits in common.
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ใจใฆใ‚‚ๅคšใใฎ็‚นใŒๅ…ฑ้€šใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
08:51
Not so much these days.
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ๆœ€่ฟ‘ใฏใใ†ใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
08:52
Death really changes people.
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ๆญปใ‚“ใ ใ‚‰ ไบบใฏๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ™ใญ
08:54
But that --
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ใงใ‚‚ โ€•
08:55
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
08:56
is my grandmother's sense of humor.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‚็ฅ–ๆฏ่ญฒใ‚Šใฎใƒฆใƒผใƒขใ‚ขใงใ™
08:59
But the person I felt most akin to in the world
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็งใŒใ“ใฎไธ–็•Œใง ไธ€็•ช่ฟ‘ใ—ใๆ„Ÿใ˜ใŸๅญ˜ๅœจใฏ
09:01
was a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother,
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ๆฏใงใ‚ใ‚Š ็ฅ–ๆฏใงใ‚ใ‚Š ๆ›พ็ฅ–ๆฏใงใ‚ใ‚Š
09:04
a great-great-grandmother.
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้ซ˜็ฅ–ๆฏใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚‹ไบบใงใ—ใŸ
09:05
Me? I represented the very end of my branch of the family tree.
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็งใจใ„ใˆใฐโ€• ๅฎถ็ณปๅ›ณใงใฏ ็งใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚‹ๆžใฎไธ€็•ชๅ…ˆใฃใฝใงใ™ใŒ
09:10
And I wasn't entirely sure I was still connected to the trunk.
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ๅนนใจใฎ็น‹ใŒใ‚ŠใŒๆฎ‹ใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹ใ•ใˆ ๆ€ชใ—ใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใงใ—ใŸ
09:14
What was the purpose of my human?
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็งใจใ„ใ†ไบบ้–“ใฏ ใชใœๅญ˜ๅœจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹๏ผŸ
09:17
The year after my grandmother's death was the most intensely creative
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็ฅ–ๆฏใฎไบกใใชใฃใŸ็ฟŒๅนดใฏ ไบบ็”Ÿใงๆœ€้ซ˜ใซใ‚ฏใƒชใ‚จใ‚คใƒ†ใ‚ฃใƒ–ใชๅนดใงใ—ใŸ
09:22
of my life.
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09:24
And I suppose that's because, at an end, my thoughts gather
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ๆ€ใ†ใซ ใใฎ้ ƒใซใฏ ่€ƒใˆใŒใ‚ใกใ“ใกใซๆ•ฃใ‚‰ใฐใ‚‰ใš
09:27
more than they scatter.
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ใพใจใพใฃใฆใใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†
09:29
My thought process is not linear.
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็งใฎๆ€่€ƒใƒ—ใƒญใ‚ปใ‚นใฏ ็›ด็ทš็š„ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
09:31
I'm a visual thinker. I see my thoughts.
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่ฆ–่ฆš็š„ใซ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใฎใง ๆ€่€ƒใŒ็›ฎใซๆตฎใ‹ใถใฎใงใ™
09:34
I don't have a photographic memory,
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ๅ†™็œŸใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใซ ๆญฃ็ขบใช่จ˜ๆ†ถๅŠ›ใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ—
09:36
and nor is my head a static gallery of sensibly collected think pieces.
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ๆ€่€ƒใŒ้ ญใฎไธญใฎๆฃšใซ ๆ•ด็„ถใจไธฆใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚ใ‘ใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
09:42
It's more that I've got this ever-evolving language of hieroglyphics
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ใฉใกใ‚‰ใ‹ใจ่จ€ใ†ใจ่‡ชๅˆ†ใง่€ƒๆกˆใ—ใŸ ๆ—ฅใ€…้€ฒๅŒ–ใ—ใฆใ„ใ่ฑกๅฝขๆ–‡ๅญ—ใฎ่จ€่ชžใŒใ‚ใฃใฆ
09:47
that I've developed
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09:48
and can understand fluently and think deeply with.
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ใใ‚Œใง็‰ฉไบ‹ใ‚’ใ‚ˆใ็†่งฃใ—ใŸใ‚Š ๆทฑใ่€ƒใˆใŸใ‚Šใงใใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™
09:51
but I struggle to translate.
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ใงใ‚‚็ฟป่จณใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใฏ่‡ณ้›ฃใฎๆฅญใงใ™
09:54
I can't paint, draw, sculpt, or even haberdash,
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็ตตใ‚’ๆใใฎใ‚‚ ๅฝซๅˆปใ‚‚ ๆ‰‹่Šธใ•ใˆใ‚‚ไธŠๆ‰‹ใใชใ„ใ—
09:57
and as for the written word,
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ๆ–‡็ซ ใ‚’ๆ›ธใใฎใฏ
10:00
I'm OK at it but it's a tortuous process of translation,
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ใใ“ใใ“ใงใใพใ™ใŒ ่€ƒใˆใ‚’็ฟป่จณใ™ใ‚‹้Ž็จ‹ใซใฏ่‹ฆใ—ใ‚ใ‚‰ใ‚Œ
10:05
and I don't feel it does the job.
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ไธŠๆ‰‹ใซ่กจ็พใงใใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ‚‚ ๆ€ใˆใชใ„ใฎใงใ™
10:08
And as far as speaking my own mind, like I said, I'm not great at it.
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ๅ…ˆ็จ‹่จ€ใฃใŸใจใŠใ‚Š ่€ƒใˆใ‚’่ฉฑใ™ใฎใ‚‚ ใ•ใปใฉไธŠๆ‰‹ใใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
10:12
Speech has always felt like an inadequate freeze-frame
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่ฉฑใ™ใฎใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎๅ†…ๅดใซใ‚ใ‚‹ๅ‘ฝใ‚’ ไธ‹ๆ‰‹ใใใซๆ‰ใˆใŸโ€•
10:16
for the life inside of me.
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้™ๆญข็”ปๅƒใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใ ใจ ๆ€ใฃใฆใใพใ—ใŸ
10:18
All this to say,
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ไฝ•ใŒ่จ€ใ„ใŸใ„ใ‹ใจใ„ใ†ใจ
10:20
I've always understood far more than I've ever been able to communicate.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใพใงๅธธใซ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒไผใˆใ‚‰ใ‚Œใ‚‹ไปฅไธŠใซ ๆทฑใ็†่งฃใ—ใฆใใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™
10:25
Now, about a year before Grandma died,
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็ฅ–ๆฏใŒไบกใใชใ‚‹ๅ‰ใฎๅนด
10:28
I was formally diagnosed with autism.
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็งใฏๆญฃๅผใซ่‡ช้–‰็—‡ใ ใจ ่จบๆ–ญใ•ใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸ
10:31
Now for me, that was mostly good news.
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็งใซใจใฃใฆ ใ“ใ‚Œใฏ ๆฆ‚ใญ่‰ฏใ„็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใ›ใงใ—ใŸ
10:34
I always thought that I couldn't sort my life out like a normal person
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ใใ‚Œใพใงใšใฃใจ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒ ๆ™ฎ้€šใฎไบบใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็”ŸๆดปใŒใงใใชใ„ใฎใฏ
10:39
because I was depressed and anxious.
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้ฌฑ็Šถๆ…‹ใงไธๅฎ‰็ฅž็ตŒ็—‡ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ ใจ ๆ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
10:41
But it turns out
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ใงใ‚‚ ๅฎŸ้š›ใซใฏ
10:43
I was depressed and anxious
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้ฌฑ็Šถๆ…‹ใงไธๅฎ‰็ฅž็ตŒ็—‡ใ ใฃใŸใฎใฏ
10:44
because I couldn't sort my life out like a normal person,
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ๆ™ฎ้€šใฎไบบใฎใ‚ˆใ†ใช็”ŸๆดปใŒ ้€ใ‚Œใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‰ใง
10:48
because I was not a normal person,
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็งใŒๆ™ฎ้€šใงใฏใชใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใซ ใใ‚Œใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
10:50
and I didn't know it.
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10:52
Now, this is not to say I still don't struggle.
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ใ‚‚ใ†่‹ฆๅŠดใŒใชใ„ใจ ใ„ใ†ใ‚ใ‘ใงใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
10:54
Every day is a bit of a struggle,
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ๆญฃ็›ดใซ่จ€ใฃใฆ ๆฏŽๆ—ฅ ไฝ•ใ‹ใจๅคงๅค‰ใงใ™
10:56
to be honest.
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ใงใ‚‚ ๅฐ‘ใชใใจใ‚‚ ใใฎ่‹ฆๅŠดใฎๆญฃไฝ“ใ‚’็Ÿฅใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ—
10:57
But at least now I know what my struggle is,
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11:00
and getting to the starting line of normal is not it.
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ใใ‚Œใฏๆ™ฎ้€šใฎไบบใซใชใ‚ใ†ใจ ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
11:03
My struggle is not to escape the storm.
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ๅตใ‹ใ‚‰้€ƒใ‚Œใ‚ˆใ†ใจ ๅŠชๅŠ›ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใงใฏใชใ
11:06
My struggle is to find the eye of the storm as best I can.
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ใงใใ‚‹ใ ใ‘ไธŠๆ‰‹ใ ๅฐ้ขจใฎ็›ฎใ‚’่ฆ‹ใคใ‘ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™
11:11
Now, apart from the usual way us spectrum types find our calm --
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่‡ช้–‰็—‡ใ‚นใƒšใ‚ฏใƒˆใƒฉใƒ ใฎไบบใŸใกใŒ ๅนณ็ฉใ‚’ๅพ—ใ‚‹ๆ–นๆณ•ใซใฏ
11:16
repetitive behaviors, routine and obsessive thinking --
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ๅๅพฉ่กŒๅ‹•ใ‚„ๆฑบใพใฃใŸๆ‰‹้ † ๅผท่ฟซ็š„ๆ€่€ƒใชใฉใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใŒ
11:20
I have another surprising doorway into the eye of the storm:
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ๅฐ้ขจใฎ็›ฎใซใคใชใŒใ‚‹ ๆ„่กจใ‚’ใคใ„ใŸๆ‰‰ใŒ็งใซใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
11:26
stand-up comedy.
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ใ‚นใ‚ฟใƒณใƒ€ใƒƒใƒ—ใƒปใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใงใ™
11:28
And if you need any more proof I'm neurodivergent, yes,
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็งใŒๅฎšๅž‹็™บ้”ใ—ใฆใ„ใชใ„ใจใ„ใ† ใ“ใ‚“ใช่จผๆ‹ ใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
11:31
I am calm doing a thing that scares the hell out of most people.
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ใปใจใ‚“ใฉใฎไบบใŒๆใ‚Œใ‚‹ใ“ใจใง ็งใฏ่ฝใก็€ใใ‚“ใงใ™
11:36
I'm almost dead inside up here.
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่ˆžๅฐใงใฏๆญปใ‚“ใ ใ‚ˆใ†ใซๅ†ท้™ใงใ™ใ‚ˆ
11:39
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
11:43
Diagnosis gave me a framework on which to hang bits of me
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่จบๆ–ญใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘ใŸใŠใ‹ใ’ใง ่‡ชๅˆ†ใงใฏ็†่งฃใงใใชใ‹ใฃใŸใ‚ˆใ†ใช
11:47
I could never understand.
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ๅด้ขใ‚’่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ๆž ็ต„ใฟใŒใงใใพใ—ใŸ
11:48
My misfit suddenly had a fit,
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ใฏใฟๅ‡บใ—่€…ใ ใฃใŸ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒ ๆ€ฅใซๅฑ…ๅ ดๆ‰€ใ‚’ๅพ—ใฆ
11:50
and for a while, I got giddy with a newfound confidence
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ใ—ใฐใ‚‰ใใฎ้–“ ็งใฏ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่€ƒใˆๆ–นใซ่‡ชไฟกใŒ็”Ÿใพใ‚Œใฆ
11:53
I had in my thinking.
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ใ†ใใ†ใใ—ใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
11:55
But after Grandma died, that confidence took a dive,
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ใงใ‚‚็ฅ–ๆฏใŒไบกใใชใฃใŸๅพŒ ใใฎ่‡ชไฟกใฏๅฝฑใ‚’ๆฝœใ‚ใพใ—ใŸ
11:59
because thinking is how I grieve.
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็งใฏ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจใซใ‚ˆใฃใฆ ๆญปใ‚’ๆ‚ผใ‚€ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
12:03
And in that grief of thought,
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ใใฎๆ‚ฒใ—ใฟใฎไธญใง
12:04
I could suddenly see with so much clarity
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็ช็„ถใใฃใใ‚Šใจ่ฆ‹้€šใ›ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
12:07
just how profoundly isolated I was and always had been.
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ใ“ใ‚Œใพใงใฉใ‚Œใปใฉ่‡ชๅˆ†ใŒ ๆทฑใๅญค็ซ‹ใ—ใฆใ„ใŸใ“ใจใ‹
12:14
What was the purpose of my human?
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็งใจใ„ใ†ไบบ้–“ใฏ ใชใœๅญ˜ๅœจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹๏ผŸ
12:18
I began to think a lot about how autism and PTSD have so much in common.
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่‡ช้–‰็—‡ใจPTSDใซใฏๅ…ฑ้€š็‚นใŒ ๅคšใใ‚ใ‚‹ใจ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใซใชใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
12:24
And I started to worry,
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ใใ—ใฆๆ‚ฉใฟๅง‹ใ‚ใพใ—ใŸ
12:26
because I had both.
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็งใฏไธกๆ–นๆ‚ฃใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
12:28
Could I ever untangle them?
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๏ผ’ใคใ‚’่งฃใใปใใ™ใ“ใจใฏ ใงใใ‚‹ใฎใ ใ‚ใ†ใ‹๏ผŸ
12:32
I'd always been told that the way out of trauma
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ใใ‚Œใพใงใšใฃใจ ใƒˆใƒฉใ‚ฆใƒžใ‚’ๅ…‹ๆœใ™ใ‚‹ใซใฏ
12:34
was through a cohesive narrative.
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ไธ€่ฒซใ—ใŸ็‰ฉ่ชžใŒๅฟ…่ฆใ ใจ ่จ€ใ‚ใ‚Œใฆใใพใ—ใŸ
12:37
I had a cohesive narrative,
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ไธ€่ฒซใ—ใŸ็‰ฉ่ชžใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸใŒ
12:40
but I was still at the mercy of my traumas.
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ใƒˆใƒฉใ‚ฆใƒžใ‹ใ‚‰ใฏ ้€ƒใ‚Œใ‚‰ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ
12:43
They're all part of my soup, but the onions still stung.
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ใ‚นใƒผใƒ—ใฎไธญใซๆบถใ‘่พผใ‚“ใงใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใซ ็Ž‰ใญใŽใŒ ใพใ ็›ฎใซใ—ใฟใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™
12:47
And at that point, I realized
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ใใฎๆ™‚ ๆฐ—ไป˜ใ„ใŸใฎใฏ
12:49
that I'd been telling my stories for laughs.
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็ฌ‘ใ‚ใ›ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่ฉฑใ‚’ใ—ใฆใใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ—ใŸ
12:52
I'd been trimming away the darkness, cutting away the pain
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่–„ๆš—ใ„้ƒจๅˆ†ใ‚’ๅ–ใ‚Š้™คใ ็—›ใ€…ใ—ใ•ใ‚’ๅˆ‡ใ‚Š่ฝใจใ—ใŸไธŠใง
12:55
and holding on to my trauma for the comfort of my audience.
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่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎใƒˆใƒฉใ‚ฆใƒžใซๅŸท็€ใ—ใฆ ่ฆณๅฎขใ‚’ๅ–œใฐใ›ใฆใใพใ—ใŸ
13:00
I was connecting other people through laughs,
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ไป–ใฎไบบใ€…ใ‚’็ฌ‘ใ„ใง ใฒใจใคใซใ™ใ‚‹ไธ€ๆ–นใง
13:02
yet I remained profoundly disconnected.
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็ง่‡ช่บซใฏๆทฑใๅˆ‡ใ‚Š้›ขใ•ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใŸใฎใงใ™
13:05
What was the purpose of my human?
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็งใจใ„ใ†ไบบ้–“ใฏ ใชใœๅญ˜ๅœจใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใฎใ‹๏ผŸ
13:08
I did not have an answer,
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็ญ”ใˆใฏๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใชใŒใ‚‰ใ‚‚
13:10
but I had an idea.
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ใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
13:12
I had an idea to tell my truth,
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็งใฎ็œŸๅฎŸใ‚’ไผใˆใŸใ‚‰ ใฉใ†ใ‹ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
13:16
all of it,
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็งใฎใ™ในใฆใ‚’
13:17
not to share laughs but to share the literal, visceral pain of my trauma.
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็ฌ‘ใ‚ใ›ใ‚‹ใฎใงใฏใชใ ็งใฎใƒˆใƒฉใ‚ฆใƒžใ‚’โ€• ๆ–‡ๅญ—้€šใ‚Š ๅฟƒใฎๅบ•ใ‹ใ‚‰ใฎ็—›ใฟใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™
13:23
And I thought the best way to do that would be through a comedy show.
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ใใฎใŸใ‚ใซใฏใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃ็•ช็ต„ใŒ ้ฉใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
13:26
And that is what I did.
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ใใ“ใง ๅฎŸ่กŒใ—ใŸใฎใงใ™
13:28
I wrote a comedy show that did not respect the punchline,
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็งใฏใ‚ชใƒใซใ“ใ ใ‚ใ‚‰ใชใ„ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚’ๆ›ธใใพใ—ใŸ
13:31
that line where comedians are expected and trusted to pull their punches
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚ขใƒณใฏ ใ‚ชใƒใฎ ็จ‹่‰ฏใ„ไธ€ๆ’ƒใง ็ฌ‘ใ‚ใ›ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒ
13:35
and turn them into tickles.
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ๆœŸๅพ…ใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™ใŒ
13:37
I did not stop.
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็งใฏใ‚ชใƒใง็ต‚ใ‚ใ‚‰ใ›ใš
13:38
I punched through that line
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็ชใๆŠœใ‘ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใชไธ€ๆ’ƒใ‚’
13:40
into the metaphorical guts of my audience.
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่ฆ–่ด่€…ใฎ ่…นใซใ‚บใ‚ทใƒณใจ ๆ‰“ใก่พผใ‚“ใ ใฎใงใ™
13:43
I did not want to make them laugh.
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็ฌ‘ใ‚ใ›ใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
13:46
I wanted to take their breath away,
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ๆฏใ‚’ใฎใพใ›ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใช
13:49
to shock them,
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่กๆ’ƒใ‚’ไธŽใˆใ‚Œใฐ
13:50
so they could listen to my story and hold my pain
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่ฆ–่ด่€…ใฏ ็งใฎ่ฉฑใ‚’่ดใ„ใฆ ๅ€‹ไบบใจใ—ใฆ็—›ใฟใ‚’ๅ—ใ‘ๆญขใ‚ใ‚‹ใฏใšใชใฎใงใ™
13:54
as individuals, not as a mindless, laughing mob.
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ๆ€่€ƒใ›ใš ใŸใ ็ฌ‘ใ†ใ ใ‘ใฎ็พค่ก†ใงใฏ ใชใใชใ‚‹ใฏใšใงใ™
13:58
And that's what I did, and I called that show "Nanette."
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ใใ‚ŒใŒๅฎŸ็พใ—ใพใ—ใŸ ใ€ŽใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚ฟใ‚คใƒˆใƒซใงใ™
14:02
Now, many --
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ใ•ใฆ ๅคšใใฎ โ€•
14:03
(Applause)
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๏ผˆๆ‹ๆ‰‹๏ผ‰
14:09
Now, many have argued
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ใ•ใฆ ๅคšใใฎไบบใŒ
14:11
that "Nanette" is not a comedy show.
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ใ€ŽใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใฏ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใงใฏใชใ„ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸ
14:14
And while I can agree "Nanette" is definitely not a comedy show,
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ใ€ŽใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใŒ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃ็•ช็ต„ใงใฏใชใ„ใ“ใจใฏ่ชใ‚ใพใ™ใŒ
14:19
those people are still wrong --
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็š† ้–“้•ใฃใฆใ„ใพใ™
14:20
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
14:22
because they have framed their argument
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ใชใœใชใ‚‰ ไบบใ€…ใฎ่ซ–่ชฟใฏ
14:24
as a way of saying I failed to do comedy.
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ใ€Œใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใŒใ™ในใฃใŸใ€ ใจใ„ใ†ใ‚‚ใฎใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใงใ™
14:28
I did not fail to do comedy.
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใŒใ™ในใฃใŸใฎใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
14:32
I took everything I knew about comedy --
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็งใฏใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใซใคใ„ใฆใฎ็Ÿฅ่ญ˜ใ‚’ ็ทๅ‹•ๅ“กใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
14:35
all the tricks, the tools, the know-how --
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ใƒ†ใ‚ฏใƒ‹ใƒƒใ‚ฏใ‚‚ๆ–นๆณ•ใ‚‚ ใƒŽใ‚ฆใƒใ‚ฆใ‚‚ใ™ในใฆใ‚’
14:38
I took all that, and with it, I broke comedy.
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ใ™ในใฆใ‚’ไฝฟใฃใŸไธŠใง ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚’ใถใฃๅฃŠใ—ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
14:42
You cannot break comedy with comedy
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใŒใ™ในใฃใฆใ„ใŸใ‚‰ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใงใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚’
14:44
if you fail at comedy.
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ใถใฃๅฃŠใ›ใพใ›ใ‚“
14:47
Flaccid be thy hammer.
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ใƒ”ใ‚ณใƒ”ใ‚ณใƒใƒณใƒžใƒผใ˜ใ‚ƒ้ง„็›ฎใชใฎใงใ™
14:49
(Laughter) (Applause)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰๏ผˆๆ‹ๆ‰‹๏ผ‰
14:55
That was not my point.
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็ ดๅฃŠใŒ็›ฎ็š„ใงใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
14:57
The point was not simply to break comedy.
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ๅ˜ใซใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚’ ็ ดๅฃŠใ—ใŸใ‹ใฃใŸใฎใงใฏใชใ
15:01
The point was to break comedy so I could rebuild it and reshape it,
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็›ฎ็š„ใฏ ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‚’็ ดๅฃŠใ—ใฆ ๅ†ๆง‹็ฏ‰ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใงใ—ใŸ
15:05
reform it into something that could better hold everything
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ไผใˆใŸใ„ๅ†…ๅฎนใ‚’ใ™ในใฆ ็››ใ‚Š่พผใ‚ใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใช
15:09
I needed to share,
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ใ‚ˆใ‚Š่‰ฏใ„ใ‚‚ใฎใซ ไฝœใ‚Šใ‹ใˆใ‚‹ใ“ใจ โ€•
15:11
and that is what I meant when I said I quit comedy.
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ใ ใ‹ใ‚‰ใ“ใ ใ€Œใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใ‹ใ‚‰ๅผ•้€€ใ€ใจ ่จ€ใฃใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
15:16
Now, it's probably at this point where you're going, "Yeah, cool,
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ใ•ใฆ ใใ‚ใใ‚ ใ“ใ†ๆ€ใ†้ ƒใงใ™ใญ ใ€Œใตใ†ใ‚“ ๅˆ†ใ‹ใฃใŸ
15:20
but what are the three ideas, exactly?
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ใงใ‚‚๏ผ“ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใฃใฆ ็ตๅฑ€ไฝ•ใชใฎ๏ผŸ
15:22
It's a bit vague."
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ใ‚ˆใใ‚ใ‹ใ‚“ใชใ„ใ€
15:24
I'm glad I pretended you asked.
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่žใ‹ใ‚ŒใŸใ“ใจใซใ•ใ›ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
15:26
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
15:30
Now, I'm sure there's quite a few of you who have already identified three ideas.
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๏ผ“ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒใŠๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใฎไบบใ‚‚ ็ตๆง‹ใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚“ใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใ„ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹
15:36
A smart crowd, by all accounts,
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ใฉใ†่€ƒใˆใฆใ‚‚ ่ณขใ„ไบบใฎ้›†ใพใ‚Šใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰
15:39
so I wouldn't be surprised at all.
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้ฉšใใซใฏใ‚ใŸใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
15:41
But you might be surprised to find out that I don't have three ideas.
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ใงใ‚‚๏ผ“ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใชใ‚“ใ‹ใชใ„ใจ่žใ‘ใฐ ้ฉšใใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใญ
15:45
I told you I had three ideas, and that was a lie.
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๏ผ“ใคใฎใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจ ่จ€ใฃใŸใฎใฏๅ˜˜ใงใ™
15:48
That was pure misdirection -- I'm very funny.
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ใพใฃใŸใใฎใงใฃใกใ‚ใ’ใงใ™ ็ง ๅค‰ใ‚ใ‚Š่€…ใชใ‚“ใงใ™
15:51
What I've done instead is I've taken whole handfuls of my ideas as seeds,
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ไปŠ ใ‚„ใฃใฆใฟใŸใฎใฏ ๆง˜ใ€…ใชใ‚ขใ‚คใƒ‡ใ‚ขใ‚’็จฎใจใ—ใฆ
15:58
and I've scattered them all throughout my talk.
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ใƒˆใƒผใ‚ฏๅ…จไฝ“ใซ ็จฎใ‚’่’”ใ„ใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
16:02
And why did I do that?
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ใชใœ ใใ‚“ใชใ“ใจใ‚’ใ—ใŸใ‹ใฃใฆ๏ผŸ
16:03
Well, apart from shits and giggles,
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็ฌ‘ใ‚ใ›ใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใ‚’้™คใ‘ใฐ
16:06
it comes down to something my grandma always used to say.
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็ฅ–ๆฏใŒใ‚ˆใ่จ€ใฃใฆใ„ใŸ ใ‚ใ‚‹่จ€่‘‰ใซๅฐฝใใพใ™
16:11
"It's not the garden, it's the gardening that counts."
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ใ€Œๅคงไบ‹ใชใฎใฏๅบญใ˜ใ‚ƒใชใใฆ ๅบญไป•ไบ‹ใ ใ€
16:16
And "Nanette" taught me the truth to that truism.
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ใใ‚ŒใŒๆœฌๅฝ“ใ ใจ ใ€ŽใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใŒๆ•™ใˆใฆใใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸ
16:20
I fully expected by breaking the contract of comedy
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ใ‚ณใƒกใƒ‡ใ‚ฃใฎๆฑบใพใ‚Šไบ‹ใ‚’็ ดใ‚‹ใ“ใจใ‚„
16:23
and telling my story in all its truth and pain
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็œŸๅฎŸใจ็—›ใฟใ‚’ใใฎใพใพใซ ่‡ชๅˆ†ใฎ่ฉฑใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใง
16:28
that that would push me further into the margins of both life and art.
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ไบบ็”ŸใซใŠใ„ใฆใ‚‚ใ‚ขใƒผใƒˆใซใŠใ„ใฆใ‚‚ ่‡ชใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅ‘จ็ธใซๆŠผใ—ใ‚„ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใฏ้‡ใ€…ๆ‰ฟ็Ÿฅใงใ—ใŸ
16:33
I expected that, and I was willing to pay that cost in order to tell my truth.
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ๅˆ†ใ‹ใฃใŸไธŠใง ็œŸๅฎŸใ‚’ไผใˆใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ ่‡ชใ‚‰็Š ็‰ฒใ‚’ๆ‰•ใ†่ฆšๆ‚Ÿใงใ—ใŸ
16:40
But that is not what happened.
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ใงใ‚‚ ใใ†ใฏใชใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใงใ—ใŸ
16:42
The world did not push me away. It pulled me closer.
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ไธ–็•Œใฏ็งใ‚’ๆŠผใ—ใ‚„ใ‚‰ใšใซ ่ฟ‘ใใซๅผ•ใๅฏ„ใ›ใฆใใ‚ŒใŸใ‚“ใงใ™
16:47
Through an act of disconnection, I found connection.
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่‡ชใ‚‰ใ‚’ๅˆ‡ใ‚Š้›ขใ™ใ“ใจใง ็น‹ใŒใ‚Šใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ„ใ ใ—ใพใ—ใŸ
16:51
And it took me a long time to understand
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ใใ†็†่งฃใ™ใ‚‹ใพใงใซใฏ ๆ™‚้–“ใŒใ‹ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ—ใŸ
16:53
that what is at the heart of that contradiction
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ใใฎ็Ÿ›็›พใฎๆ ธๅฟƒใฏ
16:56
is also at the heart of the contradiction
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ใ“ใ‚Œใปใฉ่‹ฆๆ‰‹ใชใ“ใจใŒ ใจใฆใ‚‚ๅพ—ๆ„ใชใฎใฏใชใœใ‹ใจใ„ใ†
16:59
as to why I can be so good at something I am so bad at.
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ๅˆฅใฎ็Ÿ›็›พใฎๆ ธๅฟƒใงใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™
17:05
You see, in the real world,
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ๅฎŸ็”Ÿๆดปใงใฏ
17:07
I struggle to talk to people
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ไบบใซ่ฉฑใ—ใ‹ใ‘ใ‚‹ใฎใŒ่‹ฆๆ‰‹ใงใ™
17:08
because my neurodiversity makes it difficult for me to think,
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่„ณใฎๅคšๆง˜ๆ€งใฎไธญใง ็งใฏ ่€ƒใˆใŸใ‚Š ่€ณใ‚’ๅ‚พใ‘ใŸใ‚Š ่ฉฑใ—ใŸใ‚Š
17:16
listen, speak and process new information
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ๆ–ฐใ—ใ„ๆƒ…ๅ ฑใ‚’ๅ‡ฆ็†ใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใ‚’ ๅŒๆ™‚ใซ่กŒใ†ใฎใŒ
17:18
all at the same time.
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้›ฃใ—ใ„ใ‚ฟใ‚คใƒ—ใชใฎใงใ™
17:20
But onstage, I don't have to think.
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ใงใ‚‚่ˆžๅฐใงใฏ ่€ƒใˆใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
17:22
I prepare my thinks well in advance.
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ๅ‰ใ‚‚ใฃใฆ ่€ƒใˆใฆใŠใใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™
17:25
I don't have to listen. That is your job.
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่€ณใ‚’ๅ‚พใ‘ใ‚‹ๅฟ…่ฆใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ ใใ‚Œใฏ็š†ใ•ใ‚“ใฎๅฝนๅ‰ฒใงใ™
17:28
(Laughter)
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๏ผˆ็ฌ‘๏ผ‰
17:29
And I don't really have to talk,
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ใใ‚ŒใซๅฎŸใฏ ่ฉฑใ™ๅฟ…่ฆใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“
17:32
because, strictly speaking, I'm reciting.
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ๅŽณๅฏ†ใซใฏ ๆš—ๅ”ฑใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ‚“ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰
17:35
So all that is left
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ใใ“ใง ๆฎ‹ใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใฏ
17:38
is for me to do my best
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่ฆณๅฎขใจ็œŸใซ็น‹ใŒใ‚‹ใŸใ‚ใซ
17:41
to make a genuine connection with my audience.
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ๅŠชๅŠ›ใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™
17:47
And if the experience of "Nanette" taught me anything,
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ใ€ŽใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใ‹ใ‚‰ ๅญฆใ‚“ใ ใ“ใจใŒใ‚ใ‚‹ใจใ—ใŸใ‚‰
17:50
it's that connection depends not just on me.
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็น‹ใŒใ‚Šใฏ็งใ ใ‘ใŒ ไฝœใ‚‹ใ‚‚ใฎใงใฏใชใ„ใจใ„ใ†ใ“ใจใงใ™
17:55
You play a part.
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็š†ใ•ใ‚“ใ‚‚ๅ‚ๅŠ ใ™ใ‚‹ใฎใงใ™
17:59
"Nanette" may have begun in me,
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ใ€ŽใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใ€ใŒ็งใฎๅ†…ใ‹ใ‚‰ ็”Ÿใพใ‚ŒใŸใ‚‚ใฎใงใ‚ใฃใŸใจใ—ใฆใ‚‚
18:02
but she now lives and grows in a whole world of other minds,
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ใ‚ใฎใ‚ญใƒฃใƒฉใ‚ฏใ‚ฟใƒผใฏ ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไบบใ€…ใฎ้ ญใฎไธญใซ็”Ÿใใฆใ„ใพใ™
18:06
minds I do not share.
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็งใงใฏใชใ„ไป–่€…ใงใ™ใŒ
18:08
But I trust I am connected.
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็งใจ็น‹ใŒใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™
18:12
And in that, she is so much bigger than me,
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ใงใ™ใ‹ใ‚‰ ใƒŠใƒใƒƒใƒˆใฏ ็งใ‚ˆใ‚Šใšใฃใจๅคงใใ„ๅญ˜ๅœจใง
18:15
just like the purpose of being human is so much bigger than all of us.
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ไบบ้–“ใจใ—ใฆๅญ˜ๅœจใ™ใ‚‹็›ฎ็š„ใŒ ็งใŸใกใ‚ˆใ‚Šใšใฃใจๅคงใใ„ใฎใจๅŒใ˜ใงใ™
18:21
Make of that what you will.
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ๅฅฝใใชใ‚ˆใ†ใซ่งฃ้‡ˆใ—ใฆใใ ใ•ใ„
18:22
Thank you, and hello.
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ใ‚ใ‚ŠใŒใจใ† ใใ—ใฆ ใ“ใ‚“ใซใกใฏ
18:24
(Applause)
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๏ผˆๆ‹ๆ‰‹๏ผ‰
ใ“ใฎใ‚ฆใ‚งใƒ–ใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใซใคใ„ใฆ

ใ“ใฎใ‚ตใ‚คใƒˆใงใฏ่‹ฑ่ชžๅญฆ็ฟ’ใซๅฝน็ซ‹ใคYouTubeๅ‹•็”ปใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ไธ–็•Œไธญใฎไธ€ๆต่ฌ›ๅธซใซใ‚ˆใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžใƒฌใƒƒใ‚นใƒณใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅ„ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎใƒšใƒผใ‚ธใซ่กจ็คบใ•ใ‚Œใ‚‹่‹ฑ่ชžๅญ—ๅน•ใ‚’ใƒ€ใƒ–ใƒซใ‚ฏใƒชใƒƒใ‚ฏใ™ใ‚‹ใจใ€ใใ“ใ‹ใ‚‰ใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใ‚’ๅ†็”Ÿใ™ใ‚‹ใ“ใจใŒใงใใพใ™ใ€‚ๅญ—ๅน•ใฏใƒ“ใƒ‡ใ‚ชใฎๅ†็”ŸใจๅŒๆœŸใ—ใฆใ‚นใ‚ฏใƒญใƒผใƒซใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ”ๆ„่ฆ‹ใƒปใ”่ฆๆœ›ใŒใ”ใ–ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใ“ใกใ‚‰ใฎใŠๅ•ใ„ๅˆใ‚ใ›ใƒ•ใ‚ฉใƒผใƒ ใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ”้€ฃ็ตกใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚

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