A lyrical bridge between past, present and future | David Whyte

196,614 views ・ 2017-09-08

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00:12
The youthful perspective on the future,
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the present perspective on the future
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and the future, mature perspective on the future --
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I'd like to try and bring all those three tenses together
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in one identity tonight.
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And you could say that the poet, in many ways,
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looks at what I call "the conversational nature of reality."
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And you ask yourself:
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What is the conversational nature of reality?
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The conversational nature of reality is the fact
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that whatever you desire of the world --
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whatever you desire of your partner in a marriage or a love relationship,
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whatever you desire of your children,
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whatever you desire of the people who work for you or with you,
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or your world --
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will not happen exactly as you would like it to happen.
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But equally,
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whatever the world desires of us --
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whatever our partner, our child, our colleague,
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our industry,
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our future demands of us,
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will also not happen.
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And what actually happens
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is this frontier between what you think is you
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and what you think is not you.
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And this frontier of actual meeting
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between what we call a self and what we call the world
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is the only place, actually, where things are real.
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But it's quite astonishing,
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how little time we spend at this conversational frontier,
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and not abstracted away from it in one strategy or another.
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I was coming through immigration,
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which is quite a dramatic border at the moment,
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into the US last year,
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and, you know, you get off an international flight
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across the Atlantic,
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and you're not in the best place;
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you're not at your most spiritually mature.
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You're quite impatient with the rest of humanity, in fact.
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So when you get up to immigration with your shirt collar out
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and a day's growth of beard,
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and you have very little patience,
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and the immigration officer looked at my passport
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and said, "What do you do, Mr. Whyte?"
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I said, "I work with the conversational nature of reality."
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(Laughter)
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And he leaned forward over his podium
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and he said, "I needed you last night."
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(Laughter)
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(Applause)
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And I said, "I'm sorry,
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my powers as a poet and philosopher only go so far.
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I'm not sure I can --"
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But before we knew it,
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we were into a conversation about his marriage.
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Here he was in his uniform,
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and the interesting thing was,
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he was looking up and down the row of officers
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to make sure his supervisor didn't see
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that we was having a real conversation.
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But all of us live at this conversational frontier
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with the future.
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I'd like to put you in the shoes of my Irish niece,
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Marlene McCormack,
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standing on a cliff edge on the western coast of Spain,
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overlooking the broad Atlantic.
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Twenty-three years old, she's just walked 500 miles
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from Saint Jean Pied de Port on the French side of the Pyrenees,
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all the way across Northern Spain,
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on this very famous, old and contemporary pilgrimage
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called the Camino de Santiago de Compostela --
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the Path to Santiago of Compostela.
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And when you get to Santiago, actually,
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it can be something of an anticlimax,
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because there are 100,000 people living there
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who are not necessarily applauding you as you're coming into town.
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(Laughter)
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And 10,000 of them are trying to sell you a memento of your journey.
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But you do have the possibility of going on for three more days
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to this place where Marlene stood, called, in Spanish, Finisterre,
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in English, Finisterre,
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from the Latin, meaning "the ends of the earth,"
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the place where ground turns to ocean;
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the place where your present turns into the future.
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And Marlene had walked this way --
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she just graduated as a 23-year-old from the University of Sligo
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with a degree in Irish drama.
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And she said to me, "I don't think the major corporations of the world
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will be knocking on my door."
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I said, "Listen, I've worked in corporations all over the world
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for decades;
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a degree in drama is what would most prepare you for the adult --
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(Laughter)
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corporate world."
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(Applause)
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But she said, "I'm not interested in that, anyway.
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I don't want to teach drama, I want to become a dramatist.
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I want to write plays.
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So I walked the Camino in order to give myself some courage,
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in order to walk into my future."
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And I said, "What was the most powerful moment you had on the whole Camino,
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the very most powerful moment?"
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She said, "I had many powerful moments,
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but you know, the most powerful moment was post-Camino,
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was the three days you go on from Santiago and come to this cliff edge.
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And you go through three rituals.
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The first ritual is to eat a tapas plate of scallops" --
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or if you're vegetarian,
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to contemplate the scallop shell.
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(Laughter)
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Because the scallop shell has been the icon and badge of your walk,
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and every arrow that you have seen along that way
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has been pointing underneath a scallop shell.
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So really, this first ritual is saying:
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How did you get to this place?
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How did you follow the path to get here?
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How do you hold the conversation of life when you feel unbesieged,
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when you're unbullied,
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when you're left to yourself?
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How do you hold the conversation of life that brings you to this place?
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And the second ritual is that you burn something that you've brought.
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I said, "What did you burn, Marlene?"
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She said, "I burned a letter and two postcards."
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I said, "Astonishing.
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Twenty-three years old and you have paper.
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I can't believe it."
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(Laughter)
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I'm sure there's a Camino app
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where you can just delete a traumatic text, you know?
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(Laughter)
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It will engage the flashlight,
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imbue it with color
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and disappear in a firework of flames.
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But you either bring a letter or you write one there,
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and you burn it.
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And of course we know intuitively what is on those letters and postcards.
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It's a form of affection and love that is now no longer extant, yeah?
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And then the third ritual:
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between all these fires are large piles of clothes.
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And you leave an item of clothing
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that has helped you to get to this place.
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And I said to Marlene, "What did you leave at the cliff edge?"
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She said, "I left my boots --
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the very things that I walked in, actually.
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They were beautiful boots, I loved those boots,
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but they were finished after seven weeks of walking.
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So I walked away in my trainers,
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but I left my boots there."
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She said, "It was really incredible.
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The most powerful moment was, the sun was going down,
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but the full moon was coming up behind me.
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And the full moon was illuminated by the dying sun in such a powerful way
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that even after the sun had dropped below the horizon,
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the moon could still see that sun.
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And I had a moon shadow,
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and I was looking at my moon shadow walking across the Atlantic,
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across this ocean.
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And I thought,
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'Oh! That's my new self going into the future.'
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But suddenly I realized the sun was falling further.
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The moon was losing its reflection,
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and my shadow was disappearing.
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The most powerful moment I had on the whole Camino
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was when I realized I myself had to walk across that unknown sea
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into my future."
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Well, I was so taken by this story,
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I wrote this piece for her.
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We were driving at the time;
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we got home, I sat on the couch,
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I wrote until two in the morning --
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everyone had gone to bed --
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and I gave it to Marlene at breakfast time.
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It's called, "Finisterre," for Marlene McCormack.
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"The road in the end
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the road in the end taking the path the sun had taken
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the road in the end taking the path the sun had taken
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into the western sea
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the road in the end taking the path the sun had taken
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into the western sea
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and the moon
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the moon rising behind you
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as you stood where ground turned to ocean:
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no way to your future now
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no way to your future now
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except the way your shadow could take,
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walking before you across water, going where shadows go,
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no way to make sense of a world that wouldn't let you pass
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except to call an end to the way you had come,
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to take out each letter you had brought
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and light their illumined corners;
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and to read them as they drifted on the late western light;
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to empty your bags
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to empty your bags;
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to sort this and to leave that
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to sort this and to leave that;
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to promise what you needed to promise all along
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to promise what you needed to promise all along,
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and to abandon the shoes that brought you here
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right at the water's edge,
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not because you had given up
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not because you had given up
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but because now,
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you would find a different way to tread,
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and because, through it all,
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part of you would still walk on,
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no matter how,
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over the waves."
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"Finisterre."
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For Marlene McCormack --
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(Applause)
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who has already had her third play performed
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in off-off-off-off-Broadway --
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in Dublin.
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(Laughter)
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But she's on her way.
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This is the last piece.
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This is about the supposed arrival at the sum of all of our endeavors.
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In Santiago itself --
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it could be Santiago,
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it could be Mecca,
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it could be Varanasi,
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it could be Kyoto,
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it could be that threshold you've set for yourself,
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the disturbing approach to the consummation of all your goals.
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And one of the difficulties about walking into your life,
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about coming into this body,
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into this world fully,
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is you start to realize
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that you have manufactured three abiding illusions
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that the rest of humanity has shared with you since the beginning of time.
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And the first illusion is that you can somehow construct a life
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in which you are not vulnerable.
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You can somehow be immune to all of the difficulties
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and ill health and losses
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that humanity has been subject to since the beginning of time.
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If we look out at the natural world,
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there's no part of that world
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that doesn't go through cycles of, first, incipience,
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or hiddenness,
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but then growth, fullness,
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but then a beautiful, to begin with, disappearance,
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and then a very austere, full disappearance.
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We look at that, we say, "That's beautiful,
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but can I just have the first half of the equation, please?
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And when the disappearance is happening,
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I'll close my eyes and wait for the new cycle to come around."
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Which means most human beings are at war with reality
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50 percent of the time.
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The mature identity
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is able to live in the full cycle.
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The second illusion is,
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I can construct a life in which I will not have my heart broken.
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Romance is the first place we start to do it.
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When you're at the beginning of a new romance or a new marriage,
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you say, "I have found the person who will not break my heart."
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I'm sorry;
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you have chosen them out unconsciously for that exact core competency.
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(Laughter)
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They will break your heart.
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Why?
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Because you care about them.
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You look at parenting, yeah?
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Parenting: "I will be the perfect mother and father."
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Your children will break your heart.
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And they don't even have to do anything spectacular or dramatic.
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But usually, they do do something spectacular or dramatic --
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(Laughter)
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to break your heart.
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And then they live with you as spies and saboteurs for years,
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watching your every psychological move,
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and spotting your every weakness.
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And one day,
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when they're about 14 years old,
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with your back turned to them,
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in the kitchen,
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while you're making something for them --
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(Laughter)
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the psychological stiletto goes in.
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(Laughter)
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(Applause)
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And you say, "How did you know exactly where to place it?"
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(Laughter)
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And they say,
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"I've been watching you for --
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(Laughter)
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a good few years."
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And then we hope that our armored, professional personalities
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will prevent us from having our heart broken in work.
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But if you're sincere about your work,
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it should break your heart.
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You should get to thresholds
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where you do not know how to proceed.
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You do not know how to get from here to there.
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What does that do?
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It puts you into a proper relationship with reality.
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Why?
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Because you have to ask for help.
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Heartbreak.
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We don't have a choice about heartbreak,
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we only have a choice of having our hearts broken
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over people and things and projects that we deeply care about.
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And the last illusion is,
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I can somehow plan enough and arrange things
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that I will be able to see the path to the end
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right from where I'm standing,
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15:17
right to the horizon.
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15:20
But when you think about it,
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15:22
the only environment in which that would be true
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15:25
would be a flat desert,
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15:28
empty of any other life.
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15:33
But even in a flat desert,
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15:34
the curvature of the earth would take the path away from you.
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15:38
So, no;
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15:40
you see the path,
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and then you don't
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15:43
and then you see it again.
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15:45
So this is "Santiago,"
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15:48
the supposed arrival,
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15:51
which is a kind of return to the beginning all at the same time.
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15:55
We have this experience of the journey,
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15:58
which is in all of our great spiritual traditions,
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16:00
of pilgrimage.
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16:02
But just by actually standing in the ground of your life fully,
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16:06
not trying to abstract yourself into a strategic future
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16:10
that's actually just an escape from present heartbreak;
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16:14
the ability to stand in the ground of your life
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16:16
and to look at the horizon that is pulling you --
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16:20
in that moment,
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16:21
you are the whole journey.
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16:23
You are the whole conversation.
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2355
16:27
"Santiago."
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16:28
"The road seen, then not seen
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16:31
the road seen, then not seen
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3335
16:36
the hillside hiding then revealing the way you should take
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4734
16:40
the road seen, then not seen
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2750
16:43
the hillside hiding then revealing the way you should take,
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5076
16:48
the road dropping away from you
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3650
16:52
as if leaving you to walk on thin air,
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16:57
then catching you,
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1175
16:58
catching you,
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1240
16:59
holding you up, when you thought you would fall,
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2825
17:02
catching you,
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1163
17:03
holding you up, when you thought you would fall,
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2336
17:05
and the way forward
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17:07
the way forward always in the end
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17:11
the way that you came,
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1537
17:12
the way forward always in the end
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1877
17:14
the way that you came,
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1156
17:15
the way that you followed, the way that carried you into your future,
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3334
17:19
that brought you to this place,
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1720
17:20
that brought you to this place,
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2463
17:23
no matter that it sometimes had to take your promise from you,
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5258
17:28
no matter that it always had to break your heart along the way:
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5315
17:34
the sense
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1181
17:35
the sense of having walked from deep inside yourself
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4599
17:40
out into the revelation,
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2162
17:43
to have risked yourself
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1742
17:45
for something that seemed to stand both inside you and far beyond you,
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1065248
5970
17:51
and that called you back in the end
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2497
17:53
to the only road you could follow,
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2640
17:56
walking as you did, in your rags of love
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4353
18:00
walking as you did, in your rags of love
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2892
18:03
and speaking in the voice that by night became a prayer for safe arrival,
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6921
18:10
so that one day
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1727
18:12
one day you realized
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2117
18:14
that what you wanted had actually already happened
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3483
18:18
one day you realized
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1952
18:20
that what you wanted had actually already happened
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2357
18:22
and long ago
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1151
18:23
and in the dwelling place in which you lived before you began,
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3977
18:27
and that
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1156
18:28
and that every step along the way,
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2616
18:31
every step along the way,
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1647
18:33
you had carried the heart and the mind and the promise
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3827
18:36
that first set you off and then drew you on,
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2887
18:39
and that
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1163
18:41
and that you were more marvelous
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1121037
4873
18:45
in your simple wish to find a way
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2264
18:48
you were more marvelous in your simple wish to find a way
378
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3977
18:52
than the gilded roofs of any destination you could reach
379
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4237
18:56
you were more marvelous in that simple wish to find a way
380
1136484
3737
19:00
than the gilded roofs of any destination you could reach:
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1140245
2906
19:03
as if, all along,
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1177
19:04
you had thought the end point might be a city with golden domes,
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1144376
3093
19:07
and cheering crowds,
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1455
19:08
and turning the corner
385
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1947
19:10
at what you thought was the end of the road,
386
1150943
4347
19:15
you found just a simple reflection,
387
1155314
3113
19:19
and a clear revelation beneath the face looking back
388
1159395
3577
19:22
and beneath it another invitation,
389
1162996
4328
19:27
all in one glimpse
390
1167348
2399
19:29
all in one glimpse:
391
1169771
1647
19:31
like a person
392
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1230
19:33
like a person or a place you had sought forever
393
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3417
19:37
like a person or a place you had sought forever,
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1177170
3487
19:40
like a bold field of freedom that beckoned you beyond;
395
1180681
4327
19:45
like another life
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1357
19:46
like another life,
397
1186413
1785
19:48
and the road
398
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1267
19:49
the road still stretching on."
399
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3292
19:54
(Applause)
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1013
19:55
Thank you.
401
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1154
19:56
(Applause)
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3077
20:01
Thank you.
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1151
20:02
(Applause)
404
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3000
20:07
Thank you very much. Thank you.
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2373
20:10
You're very kind. Thank you.
406
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1547
20:11
(Applause)
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2364
About this website

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