Why it's worth listening to people you disagree with | Zachary R. Wood

235,058 views ・ 2018-05-10

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:14
In 1994,
0
14286
1523
00:15
Charles Murray and Richard Herrnstein coauthored "The Bell Curve,"
1
15833
4214
00:20
an extremely controversial book
2
20071
2101
00:22
which claims that on average,
3
22196
1921
00:24
some races are smarter and more likely to succeed than others.
4
24141
3483
00:28
Murray and Herrnstein also suggest
5
28117
2690
00:30
that a lack of critical intelligence explains the prominence of violent crime
6
30831
4592
00:35
in poor African-American communities.
7
35447
2447
00:39
But Charles Murray and Richard Herrnstein are not the only people who think this.
8
39575
4012
00:43
In 2012,
9
43611
1527
00:45
a writer, journalist and political commentator named John Derbyshire
10
45162
4552
00:49
wrote an article that was supposed to be a non-black version of the talk
11
49738
4339
00:54
that many black parents feel they have to give their kids today:
12
54101
3278
00:57
advice on how to stay safe.
13
57403
2020
01:00
In it, he offered suggestions such as:
14
60720
3032
01:03
"Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of blacks,"
15
63776
3207
01:07
"Stay out of heavily black neighborhoods"
16
67007
2270
01:09
and "Do not act the Good Samaritan to blacks in distress."
17
69847
3128
01:13
And yet, in 2016, I invited John Derbyshire
18
73800
4395
01:18
as well as Charles Murray
19
78219
1676
01:19
to speak at my school,
20
79919
1466
01:21
knowing full well that I would be giving them a platform and attention
21
81895
4420
01:26
for ideas that I despised and rejected.
22
86339
2856
01:30
But this is just a further evolution
23
90315
2992
01:33
of a journey of uncomfortable learning throughout my life.
24
93331
2911
01:37
When I was 10 years old, my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia,
25
97192
4119
01:42
a mental illness characterized by mood swings and paranoid delusions.
26
102403
4160
01:47
Throughout my life, my mother's rage would turn our small house
27
107950
3587
01:51
into a minefield.
28
111561
1200
01:54
Yet, though I feared her rage on a daily basis,
29
114366
3212
01:57
I also learned so much from her.
30
117602
2192
02:00
Our relationship was complicated and challenging,
31
120848
4011
02:05
and at the age of 14, it was decided that I needed to live apart from her.
32
125816
4676
02:12
But over the years,
33
132175
1647
02:13
I've come to appreciate some of the important lessons
34
133846
2487
02:16
my mother taught me about life.
35
136357
1506
02:18
She was the first person who spoke to me about learning from the other side.
36
138823
4102
02:24
And she, like me, was born and raised
37
144339
2850
02:27
in a family of committed liberal democrats.
38
147213
2523
02:30
Yet, she encouraged me to see the world and the issues our world faces
39
150673
4213
02:34
as complex, controversial and ever-changing.
40
154910
3981
02:40
One day, I came across the phrase "affirmative action"
41
160307
2564
02:42
in a book I was reading.
42
162895
1311
02:45
And when I asked her what the term meant,
43
165377
2627
02:48
she spent what felt like an hour
44
168028
2119
02:50
giving me a thorough and thoughtful explanation
45
170171
2198
02:52
that would make sense to a small child.
46
172393
1904
02:54
She even made the topic sound at least as interesting
47
174792
3572
02:58
as any of my professors have.
48
178388
1647
03:01
She explained the many reasons why people of various political views
49
181165
4007
03:05
challenge and support affirmative action,
50
185196
2182
03:07
stressing that, while she strongly supported it herself,
51
187823
3865
03:11
it was important for me to view the issue as a controversial one
52
191712
3411
03:15
with a long history,
53
195553
1333
03:17
a questionable future
54
197641
1674
03:19
and a host of complicating factors.
55
199339
2230
03:22
While affirmative action can increase the presence of minorities
56
202680
3403
03:26
at elite educational institutions,
57
206107
2581
03:28
she felt that it could also disadvantage hardworking people of different races
58
208712
4478
03:33
from more affluent backgrounds.
59
213214
1952
03:37
My mom wanted me to understand
60
217411
2398
03:41
that I should never just write off opinions
61
221149
2549
03:43
that I disagreed with or disliked,
62
223722
2633
03:46
because there was always something to learn from the perspectives of others,
63
226379
3810
03:50
even when doing so might be difficult.
64
230902
2198
03:53
But life at home with my mom
65
233887
2236
03:56
was not the only aspect of my journey that has been formative and uncomfortable.
66
236712
4582
04:01
In fourth grade, she decided that I should attend a private school
67
241776
3492
04:05
in order to receive the best education possible.
68
245292
2714
04:08
As a black student attending predominantly white private schools,
69
248859
3290
04:12
I've encountered attitudes and behaviors that reflected racial stereotypes.
70
252173
3936
04:17
Several of my friends' parents assumed within minutes of meeting me
71
257157
4364
04:21
that my best skill was playing basketball.
72
261545
2800
04:25
And it really upset me to think that my race made it harder for them
73
265244
3292
04:28
to see me as a student who loved reading, writing and speaking.
74
268560
3831
04:32
Experiences like this motivated me to work tirelessly
75
272998
4079
04:38
to disprove what I knew people had assumed.
76
278499
2966
04:42
My mother even said that, in order to put my best foot forward,
77
282967
3523
04:46
I had to be patient, alert and excruciatingly well-mannered.
78
286514
3515
04:50
To prove that I belonged, I had to show poise and confidence,
79
290053
4246
04:54
the ability to speak well and listen closely.
80
294323
2675
04:57
Only then would my peers see that I deserved to be there
81
297022
3077
05:00
as much as they did.
82
300123
1333
05:02
Despite this racial stereotyping and the discomfort I often felt,
83
302165
4099
05:07
the learning I gained from other aspects of being at an elite private school
84
307387
4191
05:11
were incredibly valuable.
85
311602
1394
05:14
I was encouraged by my teachers to explore my curiosity,
86
314181
4412
05:18
to challenge myself in new ways
87
318617
2182
05:20
and to deepen my understanding of subjects that fascinated me the most.
88
320823
4206
05:26
And going to college was the next step.
89
326498
2600
05:30
I was excited to take my intellectual drive and interest in the world of ideas
90
330037
3700
05:33
to the next level.
91
333761
1229
05:35
I was eager to engage in lively debate with peers and professors
92
335014
5599
05:40
and with outside speakers;
93
340637
1781
05:42
to listen, to learn and gain a deeper understanding of myself
94
342442
4008
05:46
and of others.
95
346474
1150
05:48
While I was fortunate to meet peers and professors
96
348371
3366
05:51
who were interested in doing the same thing,
97
351761
2546
05:54
my desire to engage with difficult ideas was also met with resistance.
98
354331
4661
06:00
To prepare myself to engage with controversy in the real world,
99
360641
4690
06:05
I joined a group that brought controversial speakers to campus.
100
365355
3341
06:09
But many people fiercely opposed this group,
101
369157
2475
06:12
and I received significant pushback
102
372093
2492
06:14
from students, faculty and my administration.
103
374609
3067
06:20
For many, it was difficult to see
104
380399
2583
06:23
how bringing controversial speakers to campus could be valuable,
105
383006
3737
06:26
when they caused harm.
106
386767
1457
06:28
And it was disappointing to me facing personal attacks,
107
388823
3205
06:32
having my administration cancel speakers
108
392052
2627
06:34
and hearing my intentions distorted by those around me.
109
394703
3408
06:39
My work also hurt the feelings of many,
110
399642
2870
06:42
and I understood that.
111
402536
1197
06:45
Of course, no one likes being offended,
112
405058
2682
06:47
and I certainly don't like hearing controversial speakers
113
407764
3150
06:50
argue that feminism has become a war against men
114
410938
3383
06:54
or that blacks have lower IQs than whites.
115
414345
2382
06:57
I also understand
116
417990
1187
06:59
that some people have experienced traumatic experiences in their lives.
117
419201
4906
07:05
And for some, listening to offensive views
118
425688
3071
07:08
can be like reliving the very traumas that they've worked so hard to overcome.
119
428783
4201
07:13
Many argue that by giving these people a platform,
120
433704
2643
07:16
you're doing more harm than good,
121
436371
1936
07:18
and I'm reminded of this every time I listen to these points of view
122
438331
4286
07:22
and feel my stomach turn.
123
442641
1666
07:25
Yet, tuning out opposing viewpoints doesn't make them go away,
124
445235
2948
07:28
because millions of people agree with them.
125
448207
2018
07:31
In order to understand the potential of society
126
451179
2627
07:33
to progress forward,
127
453830
1415
07:35
we need to understand the counterforces.
128
455879
2269
07:39
By engaging with controversial and offensive ideas,
129
459244
3976
07:43
I believe that we can find common ground,
130
463244
2349
07:46
if not with the speakers themselves,
131
466403
2936
07:49
then with the audiences they may attract or indoctrinate.
132
469363
2933
07:53
Through engaging, I believe that we may reach a better understanding,
133
473268
5238
07:58
a deeper understanding,
134
478530
1468
08:00
of our own beliefs
135
480022
1651
08:01
and preserve the ability to solve problems,
136
481697
2698
08:05
which we can't do if we don't talk to each other
137
485514
2571
08:08
and make an effort to be good listeners.
138
488109
2667
08:12
But soon after I announced
139
492275
1440
08:13
that John Derbyshire would be speaking on campus,
140
493739
2798
08:16
student backlash erupted on social media.
141
496561
2976
08:19
The tide of resistance, in fact, was so intense,
142
499561
2675
08:22
that my college president rescinded the invitation.
143
502260
2738
08:25
I was deeply disappointed by this because, as I saw it,
144
505561
3135
08:28
there would be nothing that any of my peers or I could do
145
508720
3762
08:32
to silence someone who agreed with him
146
512506
2079
08:34
in the office environment of our future employers.
147
514609
2658
08:38
I look out at what's happening on college campuses,
148
518292
2838
08:41
and I see the anger.
149
521154
1167
08:42
And I get it.
150
522815
1150
08:44
But what I wish I could tell people is that it's worth the discomfort,
151
524363
3942
08:48
it's worth listening,
152
528329
1263
08:49
and that we're stronger, not weaker, because of it.
153
529616
3532
08:54
When I think about my experiences with uncomfortable learning,
154
534395
3259
08:59
and I reflect upon them,
155
539403
1568
09:02
I've found that it's been very difficult to change the values
156
542035
3967
09:06
of the intellectual community that I've been a part of.
157
546026
2747
09:10
But I do feel a sense of hope
158
550585
1391
09:12
when I think about the individual interactions that I've been able to have
159
552000
3726
09:15
with students who both support the work that I'm doing
160
555750
3160
09:18
and who feel challenged by it and who do not support it.
161
558934
3125
09:23
What I've found is that,
162
563447
1163
09:24
while it can be difficult to change the values of a community,
163
564634
2911
09:27
we can gain a lot from individual interactions.
164
567569
3063
09:31
While I didn't get to engage with John Derbyshire
165
571419
3308
09:34
due to my president's disinvitation,
166
574751
2097
09:36
I was able to have dinner with Charles Murray before his talk.
167
576872
4076
09:42
I knew the conversation would be difficult.
168
582140
2031
09:44
And I didn't expect it to be pleasant.
169
584879
2166
09:47
But it was cordial, and I did gain a deeper understanding of his arguments.
170
587069
4292
09:53
I found that he, like me, believed in creating a more just society.
171
593259
4131
09:58
The thing is, his understanding of what justice entailed
172
598224
3968
10:02
was very different from my own.
173
602216
1604
10:04
The way in which he wanted to understand the issue,
174
604879
2670
10:07
the way in which he wanted to approach the issue of inequality
175
607573
2930
10:10
also differed from my own.
176
610527
1733
10:12
And I found that his understanding of issues like welfare
177
612749
3076
10:15
and affirmative action
178
615849
1194
10:17
was tied and deeply rooted
179
617067
2121
10:19
in his understanding of various libertarian and conservative beliefs,
180
619212
4087
10:23
what diminishes and increases their presence in our society.
181
623323
3556
10:27
While he expressed his viewpoints eloquently,
182
627535
3047
10:30
I remained thoroughly unconvinced.
183
630606
1879
10:32
But I did walk away with a deeper understanding.
184
632923
2987
10:36
It's my belief
185
636796
1466
10:39
that to achieve progress in the face of adversity,
186
639134
2787
10:43
we need a genuine commitment
187
643585
2706
10:46
to gaining a deeper understanding of humanity.
188
646315
2436
10:50
I'd like to see a world with more leaders
189
650077
2153
10:52
who are familiar with the depths of the views
190
652254
2136
10:54
of those they deeply disagree with,
191
654414
2868
10:58
so that they can understand the nuances of everyone they're representing.
192
658998
3643
11:03
I see this as an ongoing process involving constant learning,
193
663022
4345
11:07
and I'm confident that I'll be able to add value down the line
194
667391
3686
11:11
if I continue building empathy and understanding
195
671101
2768
11:13
through engaging with unfamiliar perspectives.
196
673893
2630
11:16
Thank you.
197
676547
1157
11:17
(Applause)
198
677728
3290
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7