How to STOP being shy - 6 steps to be CONFIDENT

如何不再害羞 - 六個步驟讓你提升自信

(cheerful electronic music)

- Hello everyone, and welcome back to English with Lucy.

大家好 歡迎回到<跟Lucy學英語>

Today I am going to talk to you

今天我將會跟你們講關於

about how you can stop being shy,

如何讓你不再害羞

and start speaking English confidently.

和開始有自信地講英文

My little brother and I were reading comments

我和弟弟一起讀了一些留言

on one of my videos the other day,

在我另一天上載的一段影片

and he pointed out one which really made me feel sad.

他指出的一則留言讓我感到難過

Someone said, "I can't speak English,

有人留言 : " 我不能說英語 ,

"because I am a shy person."

因為我是個害羞膽小的人 "

And I don't know if it was the wording of it,

我不知道他是否如措辭這樣

but it really broke our hearts.

但這留言真的令我們心碎

The fact that somebody doesn't think

事實上有些人不認為他們

they can learn a language because they are a shy person

可以學好一種語言 , 因為他們是害羞的人

made me feel really, really sad,

這讓我感到非常非常難過

so I decided to make this video to help motivate you all,

所以我決定拍這條影片來激勵你們

especially you shy people.

尤其是給害羞膽小的你們

I receive a lot of messages about confidence,

我收到很多關於自信心的留言

people saying oh, I wish I was confident like you,

有人說 : 我希望能像妳一樣自信

but naturally, in certain situations,

但是當然啦 在某些情況

I can feel so, so shy, and so, so nervous.

我亦會感到非常害羞和超級緊張

If you check out the last part of most of my videos,

如果你看到我影片的最尾段

you can see all the times

你能見到很多時候

that I mix up my words, and make mistakes.

我都會說錯話和犯一些錯誤

It's completely natural.

這完全是自然不過的事

When I have to speak publicly, I often feel so, so shy.

當我需要公開講話時 我經常感到很害羞

But there are plenty of things that I do,

但我為此會做很多事情

and I have learned to do over the past few years,

這幾年來我學會了做這些

since I started this channel,

自從我開始了這個頻道

that have made me a confident person.

它讓我成為有自信的人

And I want to share that with you,

而我想和你們分享一下心得

so let's get started with the lesson.

讓我們開始吧

The first one, this is a well-known tip,

第一個是個眾所周知的貼士 ,

but I really believe in it, fake it 'til you make it.

但我非常相信它 : 假裝直到事成為止

And most importantly, don't tell people that you feel shy.

最重要的是不要告訴別人感到害羞

Almost a year ago, I was invited to speak about my business

大約一年前 我受邀談及我的事業

at my old university.

在我以前就讀的大學

I had to give a 45-minute talk,

我要演講一段長45分鐘的演說

內容全部關於我和我的生意

all about me and my business,

to a room of so many students.

說給房間內的一大班學生

And my parents were watching, and my boyfriend,

我的父母也在看著 還有我的男友

who is now my fiance.

他現在是我的未婚夫

I was so nervous, but I think I handled it

當時我非常緊張 , 但我認為自己處理得

really, really well.

非常非常好

I didn't tell anyone that I was feeling shy.

我當並時沒有告訴任何人我感到羞怯

It's okay to be nervous, but don't say you're shy.

覺得緊張是可以的 但別說自己羞怯

Saying you're nervous is okay, but saying you feel shy,

可以說你緊張 但說你覺得羞怯

I think is quite a negative thing to say,

我認為這說法有些負面

and it might influence the way people think about you.

這可能會影響到別人對你的想法

I pretended that I was really, really confident,

我假裝自己非常有自信

and that I do this kind of thing all the time.

而且我經常這樣做

When in reality, it was my first time speaking

現實中 , 那是我第一次

about myself in front of such a large audience.

在一大班觀眾面前講述自己我事情

I was scared of boring everyone,

我怕令所有人覺得無聊乏味

I was scared that the person organising the event

我怕舉辦活動的那個人

was going to regret asking me to speak,

後悔邀請了我演講

I was scared of embarrassing myself

我怕令自己難堪

in front of my boyfriend,

在我的男友面前

I was scared of disappointing my parents.

我怕令父母失望

But I walked in there, head held high,

但我走了過去 , 抬起了頭

I slightly lowered my voice,

稍為降低我的聲調

and I'm pretty convinced that no one knew

我當時說服自己 沒有人知道

I was really, really nervous.

我當時是多麼的緊張

It was also being filmed and put on YouTube.

那次被拍下來 也被放上了YouTube

I will leave the link in the description box.

我會把那連結貼在介紹欄內

So that was an extra layer of nervousness for me.

對我來說 那是另一層次的緊張不安

So what did I do?

所以我當時做了甚麼呢?

I pretended I was super confident.

我假裝自己超級有自信

I tried to relax how I was standing,

我嘗試站得輕鬆點

I tried to relax my voice,

我嘗試放鬆聲線

I went outside beforehand just to do

我事前先走到外面

some breathing, and to relax myself,

深呼吸和放鬆自己

and it ended up going really, really well.

最後的出來的結果真的很好

So how can this apply to you?

它怎樣應用在你身上呢?

Not only are you nervous about speaking to someone,

不只因為你與人說話時感到緊張

but it's also not your native language.

而且這個不是你的母語

You need to pretend that you're confident.

你需要假裝自己很有自信

You can try lowering your voice slightly.

你可以嘗試稍為降低聲調

So instead of speaking up here, really nervously,

而不是提高到這樣 , 非常緊張地

you will speak in a low voice,

你要用低音調說話

and have it echo across the room. (laughs)

要有回音響遍房間 哈哈

Work on your posture, feet apart, nice and tall,

在姿勢上下功夫 雙腳分開 挺起胸膛站穩

shoulders relaxed, really show the other speaker

放鬆肩膀 讓其他人覺得

that you're comfortable being there.

你在這裡很有自信

And as I said before, don't tell anyone you're shy,

如我之前說的 別告訴任何人你是害羞的

because sooner rather than later,

因為不用多久 很快的

you will start to feel more confident,

你就會覺得愈來愈有自信

you probably won't even realise it,

你可能甚至不會意識到

and then you might regret having told someone

然後你或許會後告訴了別人

that you're a shy person.

你是個害羞膽小的人

It doesn't have to be that way.

本來就不用發展成那樣

You don't have to be shy.

你不需要害羞

The next tip I have for you is listen,

我給你的下一個貼士是 : 聆聽和

and learn from other confident speakers.

從其他有自信的講者身上學習

When I try out a new hobby,

當我嘗試一個新的嗜好

I often want to see how an expert does it.

我經常想看看專家會怎樣做

If you really want to learn how to be more confident,

如果你真心想學習如何變得更有自信

and how to speak more confidently,

如何更有自信地講話

you need to listen to experienced and confident speakers.

你要聆聽那些有經驗和自信的講者說話

Make it part of your daily routine.

把它變成你生活習慣的一部分

Once you've found somebody

一旦你找到某個人

and pinpointed who you want to sound like,

而確定你想說得像他一樣的話

try and imitate them a little bit.

嘗試模仿一下他們

Make it your own, but take elements of their confidence

用你自己的方式 但取一點他們自信的元素

and elements of their speech.

和他們演說的要素

For example, I really, really like

舉例說 我真的非常喜歡

and admire the way Stephen Fry speaks.

和欣賞Stephen Fry 的說話方式

So, I make a point to listen to him speaking frequently.

所以我特意經常地聽他說話

A great way that you can implement listening

一個很好的方法令你可以執行聆聽

to a confident speaker for a little bit of time

自信演說者的說話 , 花一點時間

every single day, is by listening to audiobooks.

每一天 就是收聽聲音書籍

I recommend Audible.

我推薦 audible

You can click the link in the description box

你可點按在介紹欄內的連結

to get a free audiobook, that's a 30-day free trial.

獲取免費聲音書籍 , 30天的免費試用

I really, really recommend listening to Stephen Fry

我非常推介收聽 Stephen Fry

narrating the Harry Potter series,

講述哈利波特系列

or you could try listening to books on public speaking,

你亦可以嘗試聽公眾演講的書籍

or books on eliminating and combating shyness.

或是關於消除和抑制害羞的書籍

I've got some recommendations

我有些推薦

in the description box as well.

亦放在介紹欄內

Tip number three,

貼士3

this is something that I've spoken about before,

這個是我之前有說過的

but I 100% recommend it.

但我百分百推介它

It is, rehearse and prepare

就是演練和準備

your best stories and monologues,

你最好的故事和獨白

and things that you know you will have to say

和一些你知道你將要說的話

time and time again.

一遍又一遍的練習

Make a habit of talking to yourself

把跟自己說話變成嗜好

and practising your best stories,

和練習你認為最好的故事

and the answers to the most frequent questions.

和那些最常出現的問題的答案

Where are you from, what are your hobbies,

你來至哪裡? 你有甚麼嗜好?

what's your job, what would you like to do in the future?

你做甚麼工作? 你未來想做甚麼?

Tell me about yourself, that's such a big one.

告訴我關於你的事情吧! 這是個大問題

And it makes me feel nervous when someone

這令我緊張不安, 當有人

asks me that in my own language,

用我的母語問我那種問題

so I can only imagine how hard it is for you,

而我亦只能想像這對你來說有多難

especially if you're shy.

尤其如果你是害羞的人

Practise it, maybe even write it down at first,

練習那些答案 甚至先把它們寫下來

and then practise it until you know it off by heart.

練習它直至你能從心底裡懂得

You don't want to know it word for word,

你不想要一字不漏的認識它

you just want to know

你只想知道

that when somebody asks you that question,

當有人問你那個問題時

you know what to say, and you can say it with confidence.

你懂得怎樣回答 而且能有信心地回答

I also said, practise your favourite stories.

我也說過 練習你喜歡的故事

These are great ways to fill gaps in conversation.

這是填補對話時冷埸的好方法

I've got a few funny ones that I've told in videos,

我有幾個有趣的 我有在以前我影片中說過

like my waitressing mistakes,

例如我做侍應生的失誤

or the lovely story about my dad's fairy book.

或是那個關於我爸爸的童話書的美好的故事 (註 *fairy book出亦可解作成人書籍)

Links to those are also in the description box.

那些連結也在介紹欄中

Those are stories that I like to tell at dinner parties,

我喜歡在晚餐派對中講那些故事

and people like being around good storytellers,

人們喜歡圍在講故事好的人身邊

so it's really, really important

所以真的非常重要

to learn how to tell a good story.

去學習如何講出精彩的故事

And treat each time you tell a story as practise.

把你每一次所講的故事視作一次練習

Gauge their response.

判斷他們的反應

Did they react well to what you said?

他們對你所講的反應良好嗎?

Did they find it boring?

你們覺得無聊乏味嗎?

Make the necessarily tweaks.

作一些必要的調整

Then, after 20 times of telling this story,

在你講過同一個故事20之後

hopefully to different people each time,

希望每次也和不同的人說

try not to repeat yourself, (laughs)

嘗試不要重複對著自己說

you will tell it beautifully.

你將能夠美好地講出來

Right, my next tip is practise asking questions.

我的下一個貼士是 : 練習發問問題

Learning how to say questions correctly is so important,

學習如何正確地講出問題是很重要的

but also quite difficult in English.

而且要用英語問也頗困難的

But it's so important for shy people,

但這對膽怯的人十分重要

because it means that if you need a break from speaking,

因為這意味著如果你在談話中途需要一口喘氣的空間

you can pass the baton to the other person.

你可以把棒交給別人

Examples, so how did you get into your career path?

例句 : 你是如果何踏上你的職業道路的?

Or, if you could do one thing differently,

或是 : 如果你能以不同的方式做一件事 ,

what would you do?

你會做甚麼?

That opens up an opportunity for the other person

這樣開放一個機會給其他人

to tell their story, and to talk a bit,

去講述他們的故事 和說點話

so you can have time for a rest.

而你就能有時間休息一下

Most people enjoy talking about themselves,

大多數人都享受講述自己的事情

and they also appreciate good listeners.

而且他們都會感激好的聆聽者

And you can be both of those by asking questions.

而透過發問問題 令你能同時成為以上兩者

The only thing you have to do is learn

你唯一需要做的是學習

and remember how to ask them correctly.

和記得怎樣正確地問他們問題

I always have a couple of questions up my sleeve,

我總是有幾個問題藏著備用

so that if I'm feeling nervous or shy,

所以如果當我感到緊張和羞怯時

I can quickly ask someone something,

我可以快速地問某人一些事情

and we can continue the conversation that way.

而我們可以繼續以這種方式對話下去

And, there's no pressure on me.

而那對我來說沒有壓力

Number five is don't take yourself too seriously.

第5 : 不要把自己看得太重要

The best way to bond with people is to laugh,

最好和別人建立關係的方式就是大笑

and especially to laugh at yourself.

尤其是自嘲

If I feel shy about something,

如果我對某些事情感到羞怯 ,

sometimes I make a joke about it.

有時我會拿這個事情開個玩笑 .

I remember when I was learning Spanish,

我記得當我學習西班牙文的時候

I was so embarrassed about making mistakes,

我會因為犯錯誤而感到非常尷尬

but actually, those mistakes ended up

但事實上 那些錯誤最後

being my funniest stories in Spanish.

成為了我最有趣的西班牙文故事

If you speak Spanish, and you want to hear about my funny,

如果你會西班牙文 , 而你又有想聽我有趣的

or at least I think they're funny, (laughs)

至少我認為它們是很有趣的

Spanish mistake stories,

西班牙文失誤的故事

and such (speaking in foreign language).

例如是 : ( 西班牙文 )

And I'll leave the link in the description box.

我把連結貼在在介紹欄中

I laugh at myself, basically,

我自嘲 , 基本上

for a full 10 minutes. (laughs)

足足自嘲了10分鐘

Embrace making mistakes.

接納犯錯

They are such a powerful tool.

它們是強大的工具

Not only do you learn from them,

你不僅可以從錯誤中學習

but you can also create comedy from them.

你更可以從那裡創造出喜劇

But if you're quite obviously uptight

不過如果你是明顯地拘謹的人

and really embarrassed about your mistakes,

和會對自己的錯失感到尷尬難堪

it puts the other person, or your audience,

那就會把其他人或你的聽眾

in a really awkward situation.

推到一個很尷尬的局面

You don't want people cringing for you,

你不想別人為你感到難堪

you want people to feel comfortable

你希望別人覺得舒服

that they can laugh along with you.

希望他們和你一起大笑

Keep a note of all these funny mistakes that you've made,

記下所有你犯過的有趣的錯誤

and then maybe one day,

然後或者有一天

you can meet somebody else that's shy,

有會遇到另一個害羞膽怯的人

when you're already fluent in English,

當你的英語已經說得流利

and you can make them feel better and tell them

你就能令他們好過一點, 然後告訴

about your ridiculous experiences.

他們你那些荒謬的經歷

Number six, meet and talk to as many

第6 : 盡可能跟不同的人認識和交談

different people as possible.

In your life, you are going to meet so many people

在你的一生中

你將會遇見很多人

that you will never, ever meet again.

是你永遠不會再見面的

So if you do embarrass yourself in front of them,

所以如果你在他們面前感到尷尬

if the worst does happen, it doesn't matter.

如果最壞的發生了, 那不要緊

You might think about it again,

你或許會再次回想起

they might think about it again,

他們也許會回想起

but if you don't ever see them again, it doesn't matter!

但如果你不會再見到他們 , 那就不是問題了

Take the opportunity to speak with strangers,

抓緊機會和陌生人說話

to go out and meet people,

走到外面走接觸人們

to talk to as many different people as possible.

盡可能跟很多不同的人說話

Confidence for shy people comes with practise.

對於害羞的人 自信來至練習

An example, I never really made

一個例子 : 我之前從未真正交過

my own friends before, as an adult.

自己的朋友 , 作為一個成年人 .

I always just had friends from childhood,

我只有識於兒時的朋友

or friends that I shared with my partner,

或是和我伴侶的朋友做朋友

and when I moved to this village, I was new,

當我搬到這村莊的時候 , 我是新人

my fiance was new, we didn't know anyone,

我未婚夫是新人 , 我們當時不認識任何人

but I really wanted to make friends.

而我真的很想結交朋友

But I felt really shy.

但我感到非常害羞

But we started going out sometimes together,

不過我們二人開始了走到外面 . 有時一起走 ,

sometimes apart, and making real efforts to talk to people.

有時是分開走 . 作出努力與別人交談

If we recognised someone, we would say hello.

如果我們認出某人 , 我們會跟他打招呼

I would sometimes pop to the coffee shop

有時候我會獨自走進咖啡店

on my own and talk to the people there.

然後和那裡的人談話

Or go to the pub and see the same people

或者與那些人在酒吧見面

over and over again, and get to know them very, very slowly.

一次又一次 , 慢慢地 我認識他們更多

At first, it felt really awkward, and I felt really shy.

一開始我覺得很尷尬不安 , 亦感到羞怯

But now we just really enjoy being able

不過現在我們很享受可以

to go anywhere in our village and know people.

在村莊內任何地方認識別人

Had we allowed ourselves to be naturally shy,

我們有否允許自己成為天生害羞的人

as we are, that wouldn't have happened.

像我們的話 , 那種情況不會發生

It was by practising speaking

這是因為練習說話

to as many different people as possible,

盡可能跟很多不同的人說話

that we felt confident.

那令我們感到自信

Right, that's it for today's lesson.

好, 那個就是今堂課的內容

I hope you enjoyed it,

希望你們喜歡它

and I really hope you learned something,

我希望你會學到一些

and I really hope that you're going

而且我真心希望你會開始

to make more effort to feel less shy,

為減少害羞而作出努力

or at least seem less shy, until you become less shy.

至少要看似少了些害羞 , 直到你不再太過羞怯

Don't forget to check out Audible,

不要忘記去看一看 audible

you can get your free audiobook and 30-day free trial,

你可以獲得免費的聲音書籍和30天免費試用

in the description box.

在介紹欄內

I've also got all of the other links I've mentioned,

那裡有齊我提及過的所有網址連結

and please do comment down below

請在下面留言

with any other tips and recommendations

說說其他的竅門和推介

that have helped you become less shy.

那些曾經幫助過你少點害羞的方法

And don't forget to connect with me

別忘記去聯繫我

on all of my social media.

在我的所以社交媒體

I've got my Facebook, I've got my Instagram,

我有Facebook , 我有 Instagram

and I've got my Twitter.

我亦有 Twitter

And I shall see you soon for another lesson.

我很快會和你們在另一課堂上見面

Mwah! (lips smack) (electronic beep)

親親

(lighthearted music) Today I'm going to talk to you

以下是NG片段

about how, ow. (laughs) (electronic beep)

Today, I'm going to talk to you ab-a-ah,

oh, it just happened again!

Oh my god. (electronic beep)

Once you've found somebody that you want

to speak to. (sighs) (electronic beep)

It is, what is it? (laughs) (electronic beep)

Right my next tip is,

rah, rah, rawr! (laughs) (electronic beep)

It's really, really important for fry. (laughs)

Fry people. (cheerful electronic music)