CRAZY secret code of native English speakers!

10,888 views ・ 2024-05-25

English Like A Native


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Hello everyone, today we're diving into the mysterious world of
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British politeness or indirectness.
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Where what we say isn't always what we mean.
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So, if you've ever found yourself scratching your head trying to
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decode a Brit's true intentions, you're in the right place.
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First up, Hi, how are you?
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Now, you might think this is a genuine question about your well being, but let
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me tell you, it's really just a greeting.
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We are just being polite and usually expect a simple, good thanks in return.
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Hi, how are you?
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I'm good, thanks.
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In essence, hi, how are you is not an invitation to
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unpack your emotional baggage.
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We Right there and then.
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If you start diving into how your cats on hunger strike and your landlords
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turned passive aggressive, you're breaking the unwritten rule of greetings.
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It's just what you do to get to the next step of any social interaction.
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Another common answer to, hi, how are you, is I'm fine, thanks.
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Hi, how are you?
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I'm fine, thanks.
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I'm fine is a go to response, almost like a reflex.
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But does anyone ever sound truly happy saying it?
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I'm fine.
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I'm fine often just means I'm fine.
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I'm managing to survive, thank you very much.
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So let's quickly practice now.
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I'm going to ask you, how are you, and I want you to give me a very basic,
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simple, and relatively positive response.
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Ready?
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Hi!
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How are you?
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You've got it.
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Ever heard someone say, we should grab a coffee some time?
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Let's meet up soon.
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And the classic response, Let's do that.
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Well, spoiler alert, there is a good chance that coffee is never happening.
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We should grab a coffee sometime.
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Let's do that.
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This again is just a polite way of interacting with someone.
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It's usually a good way to leave and break up the interaction.
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Oh, I've got to go, but we should grab a coffee sometime.
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It says to them that you're interested and you do like them, so it stays
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positive, but that you have to go right now, but there's no commitment there.
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There's no I'll call you and let's arrange a date or next Friday.
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I'm free.
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Let's go out for drinks.
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There's no real Intention.
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It's just a politeness.
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We should get together sometime.
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Yeah, sure.
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Let's do that So if someone says that to you don't take it too seriously But
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what about when someone says do you want to go for a drink here be warned?
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That this is never just about one drink.
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If you say yes To going out for a drink.
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You might as well clear your evening schedule.
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Now, let's dive deeper into the art of British politeness.
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First up, the classic.
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No offence but, or the more formal version, with all due respect.
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These phrases are like warning beacons.
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What comes next is likely not going to be entirely pleasant.
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No offence, but your presentation might need a little bit of work.
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Did you catch that?
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It starts with a polite preface, but it's a soft setup for something rather blunt.
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This approach here is a masterclass in the art of saying Maybe give it another go.
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While also trying to preserve the other person's ego, as if it's a
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fragile piece of crystal glass.
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Of course, this phrase can be used jokingly, or in a sarcastic way, and yes,
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we British love a little bit of sarcasm.
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For example,
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and someone hands you a hamburger that looks like it's been on
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one flame for a whole day.
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Now, instead of just admitting it's burnt beyond recognition, you lean in
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and whisper, No offence, but this burger might need a little bit of ketchup.
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What about the more formal version?
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With all due respect.
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With all due respect, I believe that this strategy may lead us
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away from our main objectives.
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Have we considered the risks associated with this approach?
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When someone starts a sentence with with all due respect, it's the
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corporate equivalent of Brace yourself, I'm about to disagree with you.
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It's like putting on a velvet glove before delivering a slap.
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The use of, I believe this strategy might lead us away from our main
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objectives, is a polite way of saying, Are you using a map or just wandering
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around hoping to bump into success?
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It's a way of subtly pointing out that the current strategy could be as misguided as
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using a compass in a room full of magnets.
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Then comes the final blow.
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Have we considered the potential risks associated with this approach?
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Here, Bob is essentially asking if everyone else Sees the iceberg he's
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staring at, or if they're all too busy rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
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It's a tactful reminder to everyone that ignoring the risks
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doesn't make them disappear.
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It just makes the surprise bigger.
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So, in the grand tradition of office diplomacy, Bob is not just
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expressing concern, he's trying to steer the ship away from disaster,
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all while making sure he doesn't get thrown overboard for mutiny.
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And all of this is disguised in the gentle phrase, with all due respect.
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Which might as well mean, please don't fire me.
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But, moving on, let's consider the phrase, no worries, it's probably my fault.
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It's a masterclass in deflection and politeness.
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Even when we know it's not our fault.
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It's our way of smoothing over a situation, maintaining harmony.
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Without pointing fingers.
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I'm so sorry.
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Oh, no worries.
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It's probably my fault.
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See that smile?
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It's strained.
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It's tight.
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Classic British keep calm and carry on.
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We're essentially saying let's not make a fuss.
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even though inside I'm fuming.
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This level of politeness can be confusing to outsiders as it mixes
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genuine courtesy with a touch of indirect blame or self deprecation.
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It's all about maintaining that stiff upper lip, keeping the peace
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and moving on without conflict.
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Moving on to maybe we could, yeah, followed by I'll let you know.
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I'm not really interested, but I don't want to hurt your
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feelings by saying no directly.
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Do you want to go out on Friday night?
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Maybe we could, yeah.
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I'll let you know.
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Next, when we start a sentence with I'm afraid.
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This is our gentle opener for letting someone down.
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If you hear this, brace yourself for bad news.
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I'm afraid we've run out of the fish of the day.
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I'm terribly sorry.
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The word sorry can mean anything from genuinely apologising to just trying to
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get past you in a crowded tube station.
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Sorry.
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Sorry.
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Sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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Sorry.
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Not bad.
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Might sound a bit lukewarm, but for us, it's actually quite positive.
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It's the British way of saying things are going pretty well
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without sounding too boastful.
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I've just won 100!
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Not bad!
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And whenever you answer, I'll think about it.
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To an invitation or request, let me be clear, this is never
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making it on our to do list.
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I'm hosting a games night at my house on Tuesday.
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You have to come.
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Oh, let me think about it.
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I'll let you know.
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We are not going to think about it.
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We're not interested.
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But you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, so you say, I'll think about it.
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So, there you have it, a little guide to deciphering the true meanings
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behind what we British folks say.
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Now, if you've had any experience of miscommunication, of hearing something but
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knowing they mean something else within an English conversation, let me know.
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Please tell me all about it in the comments section.
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And if you'd like more practice of interacting in English, then consider
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becoming a member of my award winning Conversation Club, where you get
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access to resources for speaking, listening, reading, and writing,
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all for a very low monthly fee.
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Check out the Conversation Club by clicking on the link in the description.
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Until next time, take very good care, and goodbye!
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