Online predators spread fake porn of me. Here's how I fought back | Noelle Martin

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: NAN-KUN WU

[This talk contains graphic language and descriptions of sexual abuse]

〔本演說中有不雅用詞 及性虐待的描述〕

Can I get a show of hands who here has ever Googled themselves?

能不能請曾經用 Google 搜尋過自己的人舉個手？

I have.

我用過。

But what started off as momentary curiosity

但，本來一開始 只是短暫的好奇心，

very quickly turned

很快卻發生轉變，

into an almost five-year horrific battle

成為近五年的可怕抗戰，

that almost ruined my life.

差一點毀了我的人生。

I Google Images reverse-searched myself:

我用 Google 圖片，針對 我自己做反向圖片搜尋：

a function of Google that allows you to upload an image

Google 的這個功能 讓你可以上傳一張影像，

and it shows you where it is on the internet.

便可以知道在網路上的 哪些地方可以看到它。

This is me at 17 years old.

這是我十七歲的時候。

An innocent selfie I took before a party.

這是我在一場派對之前 拍下的純真自拍照。

Now, before I continue, I must point out

在我繼續之前，我必須要先聲明

that what I'm about to talk about is very confronting and graphic.

我接下來要談的內容 會非常有衝擊且敏感。

But there's no way out.

但，也沒有辦法。

This is a very confronting issue.

這是個非常具衝擊性的議題。

In a split second,

馬上，

my screen was flooded with that image

我的螢幕上就湧現那張影像，

and dozens more images of me

以及另外數十張我的影像，

that had been stolen from my social media,

都是從我的社群媒體中偷取之後

on links connected to porn sites.

放到色情網站的連結上。

On these sites, nameless, faceless sexual predators

在這些網站上，

沒有名字沒有臉孔的淫魔

had published highly explicit sexual commentary about me

針對我刊出了非常明確的性評論，

and what they'd like to do to me.

以及他們想要對我做什麼。

"Cover her face and we'd fuck her body,"

「蒙住她的臉，我們 要幹她的身體」，

one person wrote.

有個人這樣寫。

They also published identifying information about me:

他們也刊出了能辨視出 我身分的個人資訊：

where I lived, what I studied, who I was.

我的住處、我讀什麼、我是誰。

But things got worse.

但，情況變得更糟。

I soon discovered that these sexual predators

我很快就發現，這些淫魔

had doctored or photoshopped my face

用繪圖軟體做偽造，把我的臉孔

onto the bodies of naked adult actresses engaged in sexual intercourse,

放到進行性交的裸體 成人女演員身上，

on solo shots

偽造我的獨照，

of me being ejaculated on by two men.

照片上是我被兩個男人射精。

Sperm was edited onto my face.

精液被編輯到我的臉上。

I was edited onto the cover of a porn DVD.

我被編輯到色情 DVD 的封面上。

Perpetrators had edited my images

淫魔編輯了我的影像，

to give the effect that my blouse was transparent or see-through,

讓我的上衣呈現 能看穿的透明效果，

so you could see my nipples.

所以你能看見我的奶頭。

Perpetrators ejaculated on images of me,

淫魔在我的影像上射精，

took photos of their sperm and penises on these images

拍下他們在這些 影像上的精液和陰莖，

and posted them onto porn sites.

張貼在色情網站上。

"Cum on printed pigs," is what they call it.

他們稱之為「對印刷 出來的豬射精」。

Now, you might be wondering,

各位可能會納悶，

what sorts of images I posted on social media.

我在社群媒體上張貼的 是什麼樣的照片。

This is me, at around 19 at the Claremont Hotel,

這是我，大約十九歲， 在克萊爾蒙飯店拍的，

just a few suburbs away.

就在幾個住宅區之外。

And they superimposed that face into this.

他們把那張臉疊印在這種照片上。

And things got worse.

情況變得更糟。

Nothing was off limits for these predators.

這些淫魔是沒有什麼禁忌的。

They even posted an image with my little sister on these sites too.

他們甚至張貼了我妹妹的 影像到這些網站上。

Now, you might be thinking,

各位可能在想：

"Well, you do dress provocatively,

「嗯，你確實穿著撩人，

even a little sexually suggestive,

甚至有一點性暗示，

attention seeking maybe."

可能是在尋求注意力。」

But just because a woman's body gets attention,

但，女性的身體得到注意力，

doesn't mean she's attention-seeking.

並不表示她就是在尋求注意力。

And what is provocative anyway, what is sexually suggestive?

且，究竟什麼是撩人？ 什麼是性暗示？

In some parts of the world, showing your ankles

在世界上的某些地方，露出腳踝

is promiscuous, is provocative.

就是淫亂、就是撩人。

It's just like, no matter what a woman wears,

且，就好像，不論女性怎麼穿，

it's always perceived as more sexual than it is.

別人總是會用 更性慾的方式看待它。

For me, I just wanted to feel pretty and confident.

對我來說，我只是想要 感覺自己很漂亮、自信。

What's so wrong with that?

那有什麼錯？

Now, you might be thinking,

各位可能在想：

"Well, can't you just set your social media on private?"

「嗯，你的社群媒體 不能設定成私人的嗎？」

Well, these perpetrators were calculated.

這些淫魔是很深思熟慮的。

They befriended my friends on social media

他們先用假身分，

將我在社群媒體上的 朋友加入朋友，

under fake profiles,

they followed the public galleries

他們會追蹤我經常去造訪的

of the events and places I regularly visited.

公開活動和地點。

But why?

但，為什麼？

Why should one have to retreat and hide

為什麼一個人要因為害怕

out of fear that something like this could happen?

這種事情發生而退縮、躲藏？

What I post and what I wear

我的貼文和我的穿著

isn't an invitation to violate and abuse me.

並不是邀請別人來侵犯、虐待我。

The only person that should be changing their behavior

應該要改變行為的人

is the perpetrators.

是淫魔才對。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Now, you might be thinking, why me?

各位可能在想，為什麼是我？

Well, I'm just one

我只是其中一個，

of the thousands upon thousands

還有數以千計的

of ordinary women who are being preyed upon

平凡女性被當作獵物，

in these mass-scale, horrific online cultures, websites and threads

淪落到這些大規模的、可怕的

線上文化、網站，和討論串，

that are dedicated to sexually exploiting and doctoring

全都是用來做性慾用途

及將女性的一般照片 偽造做色情用途。

ordinary images of women into porn.

As I speak,

在我說話的同時，

there are women who are being preyed upon, and they don't even know it.

就有女性受害，她們甚至不知道。

In the beginning, I tried seeking help.

一開始，我試圖尋求協助。

I went to police, I contacted government agencies,

我去找警察，我聯絡政府機關，

I even tried to hire a private investigator,

我甚至想要僱用私家偵探，

but they were too expensive.

但太貴了。

There was nothing that they could do.

他們都無能為力。

I mean, what could you do

畢竟，你能做什麼？

when the sites are hosted overseas and the perpetrators are from overseas?

這些網站都架設在海外， 淫魔也在海外。

I was told I had to contact the sites one by one,

他們告訴我，我必須要 單獨聯絡這每一個網站，

notifying the webmasters to get everything deleted.

通知網站管理員 將這些東西全部刪除。

And so as you can imagine,

各位可以想像，

in complete and utter fear and pain,

出於徹底的恐懼和痛苦，

I did.

我照做了。

I contacted the webmasters,

我聯絡網站管理員，

requesting that they delete the material shared without consent.

要求他們刪除那些 未經同意就分享的素材，

And I had some successes,

我有一些成功，

but I also had some major setbacks.

但我也有一些重大挫敗。

The more I fought,

我越奮戰，

the more sites I would discover,

我就會發現更多網站，

and with time, the more my images were being seen and shared

隨著時間，也有越多 我的影像被看見、被分享，

in the tens of thousands.

數以萬計。

I had one webmaster respond to me saying he'll only delete the site

有一位網站管理員回覆我，

他說，如果要他刪除網站，

if I sent him nude photos of myself within 24 hours.

我就必須要在二十四小時內 傳我的裸照給他。

And this went on for years,

這持續了好多年，

fighting against these dodgy, disgusting sites.

對抗這些狡猾、噁心的網站。

But I was fighting a losing battle.

但我在打一場不可能贏的仗。

And I couldn't continue this any longer for my own mental health.

因為我自己的心理健康， 我無法再繼續。

But what could I do?

但，我能怎麼辦？

Maybe, I thought, if I spoke out,

我想，也許，如果我說出來，

I could reclaim my name,

我可以洗刷我的名聲，

and I could rewrite my narrative on my own terms.

我可以用我自己的方式 重寫我的故事。

Maybe if I spoke out,

也許，如果我說出來，

I could raise awareness about this.

我可以提升大家 對這種現象的意識。

Maybe I could even try to change the law.

也許我甚至可以試著改變法律。

And so I did.

所以，我說出來了。

（掌聲）

(Applause)

I spoke out publicly late last year

去年底，我公開說出來了，

and news of my story reverberated around the world.

關於我這個故事的新聞 在全世界回響。

But this was the response.

但，回應卻是這樣的。

"She's a fat, ugly slut, she's a whore."

「她是個又胖又醜的蕩婦， 她是個妓女。」

"She's an attention-seeking piece of trash."

「她是尋求注意力的人渣。」

"Feel flattered, baby, it's a compliment."

「要覺得很榮幸，寶貝， 被挑中是種讚美。」

I was victim-blamed and slut-shamed

我成了被責怪的受害者， 被當成蕩婦來羞辱，

and told I was deserving of what happened to me.

說我遇到這種事是活該。

And quite frankly,

坦白說，

that was more difficult for me to endure

對我來說，這些回應比我

than my actual experiences of image-based abuse.

實際受到的影像虐待還要難受。

But I couldn’t let this criticism defeat me.

但，我不能讓批評擊敗我。

I knew what the perpetrators had done was wrong,

我知道那些淫魔的所做的是錯的，

and I knew what they were doing to others was wrong.

我知道他們對他人所做的是錯的。

And so I petitioned.

所以，我提出請願。

I sent out impassioned pleas for support.

我懇切地請求，希望得到支持。

But it didn't work.

但沒有用。

I think I got like 330 signatures.

我想，我得到了 大約三百三十個簽名。

And that was really disheartening.

那真是讓人灰心。

But I then contacted my state and federal MPs.

但，我接著聯絡 我的州議員和聯邦議員。

And I was referred to the New South Wales Attorney General's department,

他們轉介我去找 新南威爾斯州的司法部，

who were already in the process of drafting new laws

他們已經在進行起草新法律，

to criminalize the nonconsensual distribution of intimate images.

將未經同意就散佈 私密影像視為犯罪。

Image-based sexual abuse.

影像式的性虐待。

Some of you might know it as revenge porn.

有些人聽過的名詞 可能是報復色情素材。

And soon I became a spokesperson,

很快的，我成了發言人，

a public face for the new laws.

新法律的公眾面孔。

But I must point out,

但，我必須要說， 我沒有以任何方式，

I do not in any way, shape or form

want to take credit for this change in the law.

想要把改變法律的功勞搶過來。

This is on the backs of cybersafety experts,

功勞是屬於網路安全專家、

of researchers, of the Attorney General's department,

研究者、司法部，

of so many people who have fought for years.

以及許多人多年的抗戰。

New South Wales was the first state in all the world

新南威爾斯州是全世界第一個

to specifically include a provision on altering images.

明確將修改影像的條款 納入法律的州。

Something that happened to me,

我遇到了這種事，

something you certainly don't hear about very often.

各位肯定不常聽到這種事。

And now ACT has also criminalized this,

現在，ACT（澳大利亞 首都特區）也將之視為犯罪，

also with a provision on altered images.

也針對修改影像制訂了條款。

And next year, WA is introducing legislation

明年，西澳會推出法規，

and hopefully, they introduce a provision on altered images

希望他們也會推出 和修改影像有關的條款，

and I urge every state and every country in this world to follow suit,

我強烈要求世界各國、 各州都要跟進，

because right now,

因為，現在，像我 這樣的人得不到正義。

there's no justice for people like me.

Despite it all,

儘管發生這一切，

despite the hate and despite the criticism,

儘管有仇恨，儘管有批評，

despite the fact that I'm never going to get justice,

儘管我永遠不會得到正義，

because my experiences happened before this movement of law reform,

因為我的經歷發生在 法律改革運動之前，

speaking out was the best thing I've ever done,

但說出來仍然是我做過最棒的事，

because I know for a fact that it has helped people.

因為我知道這麼做幫助了其他人。

And I just want to live in a world

我只希望，在我生活的世界裡，

where, regardless of what I wear or what I post,

不論我穿什麼或張貼什麼，

that I'm still worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.

我都值得得到有尊嚴、 有尊重的對待。

Respect.

尊重。

Now, that's an idea worth sharing.

那是值得分享的想法。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）