A pro wrestler's guide to confidence | Mike Kinney

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

Picture it: a big, sweaty, tattooed man

想像一下，一個高大、 滿身是汗、刺青的男人，

in a cowboy hat and chaps,

戴著牛仔帽穿著牛仔皮褲，

is in the ring

站在競技場裡，

as the arena full of fans cheer him on.

滿場的觀眾為他歡呼。

Their hero:

他們的英雄：

"Cowboy" Gator Magraw.

「牛仔」鱷魚麥克羅。

Gator bounces off the ropes and is quickly body-slammed to the mat.

鱷魚利用邊繩反彈， 很快就被抱舉重摔在墊上。

His wild opponent leaps into the air,

他狂野的對手跳到空中，

crashing down onto Gator's rib cage.

向下撞擊鱷魚的肋骨。

Gator struggles to breathe, wondering:

鱷魚掙扎地呼吸，心想：

"Is this really what my father wanted for me?"

「我老爸真的希望我這樣嗎？」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

That wild man in the chaps ...

那個穿著牛仔皮褲的狂野男人

was me.

就是我。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

(Cheers)

（歡呼）

And the answer to the question, surprisingly,

而那個問題的答案，出乎意料，

is yes.

是「沒錯」。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I grew up watching professional wrestling

我是看職業摔角長大的，

with my dad.

和老爸一起看。

And like him, I loved everything about it:

和他一樣，我熱愛摔角的一切：

the showmanship, the athletic skill,

表演能力、運動員技巧、

the drama.

戲劇性。

I'd be this little boy, bouncing all over our living room,

我是這個在客廳裡彈來彈去的男孩，

pretending to be my favorite wrestlers from TV.

假裝是電視上我最愛的摔角手。

My dad actually reminded me a little bit of Hulk Hogan,

我老爸其實會讓我想到霍克霍肯，

but I was Hulk Hogan and he was Andre the Giant.

但我才是霍克霍肯， 他是巨人安德烈。

I'd get all serious on him and say things like, "Dad ...

我對他變得很認真，說：「老爸，

someday I am going to be world heavyweight champion."

總有一天，我要成為 世界重量級冠軍。」

And he would usually smile and very calmly say,

通常，他會微笑，並很冷靜地說：

"OK, then I guess I can count on you to be my retirement fund."

「好，那麼，我想 我的退休金就靠你了。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

When I was 16,

我十六歲時，

a small wrestling show came to my little town in Minnesota.

有個小型的摔角表演， 來到我住的明尼蘇達小鎮。

I couldn't believe it.

我無法置信。

Nothing like that had ever come to my town before.

從來沒有像那樣的演出 會來我的小鎮。

So I got to the arena early in the morning the day of the show,

所以，演出當天一早 我就去了競技場，

waiting out in the parking lot to see if I could spot some wrestlers

等在外面的停車場， 碰運氣看能不能遇見一些

去停車的摔角手。

pulling up in their cars.

It wasn't as creepy as it sounds.

並沒有聽起來那麼詭異。

But I could definitely tell who the wrestlers were,

我絕對能分辨誰是摔角手，

just the way they walked.

僅僅靠觀察他們走路的方式。

They were tall and confident and intimidating,

他們又高又有自信，令人生畏，

with their tank tops and Zubaz and fanny packs.

穿著背心式上衣、 斑馬褲、戴著腰包，

Why wouldn't I want to be them?

我怎麼可能不想變成他們？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

All I could think about was who are these people,

我唯一能想的就是，這些人是誰、

and what are they like?

他們是怎樣的？

How did they become wrestlers?

他們如何變成摔角手的？

So before the show started,

在表演開始前，

I walked into this tiny arena --

我走進這個很小的競技場──

more like a gymnasium --

更像是個體育館──

and I asked them if I could help set up the wrestling ring.

我問他們能不能讓我 幫忙架設摔角場。

"Sure, kid. No problem."

「當然，孩子，沒問題。」

And then I pleaded with them to show me some wrestling moves.

接著，我懇求他們 做些摔角動作給我看。

"Sure, kid. No problem."

「當然，孩子，沒問題。」

Man, they would just punch and kick me -- hard!

天哪，他們就直接 揍我、踢我──很用力！

But I never complained.

但我都沒抱怨。

They would come to my town for one night every couple of months that year,

那年，他們每幾個月 就會來我的鎮上一個晚上，

and then -- poof! -- next day, they were gone.

接著──噗（消散聲）── 他們隔天就不見了。

By the next year,

隔年，

they finally told me about an actual wrestling training camp

他們終於告訴我 一個真正的摔角訓練營，

that one of the wrestlers was running,

是其中一位摔角手經營的，

and I begged my parents to sign me up.

我求我父母讓我報名。

Next thing I knew, I was a high school senior by day

突然間，我就變成了 白天是高中高年級生，

and wrestling in front of live audiences by night.

晚上則在現場觀眾面前摔角。

I had this giant poster of an alligator hanging on my bedroom wall.

我臥房牆壁上掛了 一隻鱷魚的巨型海報。

So when I needed to come up with a wrestling name at the last minute

我很急迫地需要想出一個摔角藝名，

and Jesse "The Body" Ventura was already taken --

傑西「筋肉人」溫圖拉 已經有人用了──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I went with "Gator."

我就用了「鱷魚」。

I also wrestled in a t-shirt and camouflage pants

我也穿著 T 恤和迷彩褲在摔角，

because that's what I had in my closet.

因為我的衣櫃中只有這些。

I hadn't quite figured out how to develop my own persona yet,

我還沒想到要如何 發展出我自己的角色，

but I was learning.

但我在學習。

It was sort of like an apprenticeship.

那有點像是學徒見習。

But I was a wrestler.

但我是個摔角手。

And my dad would come to all my matches

我老爸會來看我所有的比賽，

wearing a t-shirt that said, "Papa Gator" across the front.

他穿的 T 恤正面 寫著「鱷魚爸爸」。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And he'd brag to his friends

他會向他的朋友炫耀，

about how his son was going to pay for his retirement someday.

說有一天他退休就靠他兒子養了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I would've.

我的確會養他的。

Not long after I started wrestling,

我開始摔角後沒多久，

my dad unexpectedly passed away.

我老爸意外過世了。

And as you can imagine,

你們應該可以想像，

especially as a teenage boy,

特別我才是個青少年，

it destroyed me.

這件事毀了我。

If you've ever lost someone,

如果你曾失去過某人，

you know what a difficult time that can be.

你知道那段時間會有多艱難。

Your mind -- it's not working right.

你的大腦無法正常運作。

The whole thing is just so surreal.

一切感覺好不真實。

I wanted to feel normal again, even if it was for just a second,

我想要再次感覺正常， 即使只有一秒鐘也好，

so I went back to wrestling almost immediately.

所以我回去摔角，幾乎是立刻回去。

Wrestling belonged to me and my dad, you know?

摔角是屬於我和我老爸的，懂嗎？

So there I was,

所以，我在那裡，

sitting in the locker room,

坐在更衣室裡，

getting ready for a match within days of my dad passing away.

在我老爸過世後沒幾天 就在準備比賽。

He was gone.

他不在了。

And sitting there alone --

獨自坐在那裡──

it felt like I was hiding.

感覺好像我在躲藏。

But it also felt like I needed to be there.

但我也覺得我需要在那裡。

One of the wrestlers who'd been on the scene a long time

長時間在現場的一位摔角手

knew what I was going through,

知道我經歷了什麼，

and he came over to see how I was holding up.

他過來看看我的狀況好不好。

I couldn't get the words out.

我一個字也說不出來。

I just said, "I don't know what I'm doing."

我只說：「我不知道我在做什麼。」

And then we just sat there in silence --

我們就沉默地坐在那裡──

just ... silence.

僅是沉默著。

Before he got up to get ready for his own match,

在他起身去準備他的比賽之前，

he gave me this piece of advice

他給了我一個建議，

that would change the entire direction of my life.

完全改變了我人生的方向。

He told me the best wrestlers are just themselves, but "turned up."

他說最好的摔角手只做自己， 但是「全力發揮」。

He said successful wrestlers find the traits within themselves

他說，成功的摔角手 在他們自己的內在

they're the strongest at

找到他們最強的特質，

and make those the focus of who they become in the ring.

然後在場內就專注展現那些特質。

So there I sat --

所以，我坐在那裡──

a scared teenager who didn't know who he was

一個害怕的青少年， 不知道自己是誰，

or why he was even wrestling anymore.

不再知道他為什麼要摔角了。

I looked around the locker room at some of the other wrestlers,

我環視了更衣室，看著其他摔角手，

心想：

and I thought,

「我看起來好不同。 我怎麼可能變成像他們一樣。」

"I look so different. How can I ever be like them?"

And then it hit me.

我突然意識到，

That's the moment I realized I didn't have to be like them.

那一刻，我了解到， 我不需要像他們。

What I did have to do was find out: What did it mean to be me?

我要做的是找出： 身為我的意義是什麼？

What made me unique,

是什麼讓我獨一無二、

and how could I use it to my advantage?

我又要如何把它變成我的優勢？

I knew I wasn't a chiseled athlete like some of these guys,

我知道我不並像一些人 是天生的運動員，

but I really didn't care.

但我不在乎。

So the first thing I thought was,

我想到的第一件事是：

"How can I amplify something as simple as: comfortable with my own body?"

「我如何擴大像『對我自己的身體 感到舒服』這麼簡單的事？」

I didn't know.

我不知道。

And then I thought:

接著我想到：

Speedo.

泳裝。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Or "trunks,"

或「平口四角短褲」，

as we call them in wrestling.

在摔角中我們稱之為「trunks」。

Yeah, trunks.

是的，平口四角短褲。

I could be this big guy

我這個大個子

who was comfortable wearing these little trunks

可以自自在在穿著四角短褲

in front of a bunch of strangers.

呈現在一群陌生人面前。

So I ditched the t-shirt and camouflage pants,

所以我扔了 T 恤和迷彩褲，

and Gator's new wardrobe was born.

鱷魚的新戲服就誕生了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I was also pretty good at drawing cartoons,

我也很擅長畫卡通，

so I wondered if I could turn that up.

所以我好奇是否能發揮這點。

I could design my own wrestling costumes,

我可以設計自己的摔角服裝，

so each pair of trunks would have its own unique design and color,

所以每一件四角短褲都有 它自己獨特的設計和顏色，

all of them completely different --

每一件都完完全全不同──

and extremely comfortable, by the way.

順道一提，它們穿起來也極舒服。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I was also the funny kid in school,

我在學校也是負責搞笑的人，

believe it or not.

信不信由你。

So I thought maybe I could turn that up.

所以我心想，也許我可以發揮這點。

Maybe I could go from the boy who made his buddies laugh

也許我可以從一個逗伙伴笑的男孩，

to the man who could rally hundreds or thousands.

轉變成能夠團結成千上百人的男人。

So I committed to the idea

所以我投身到這個

that my character wasn't going to be as scary as some of the others.

「我的角色不會像其他一些 角色那麼嚇人」的想法當中。

I'd be hilarious from the moment I walked into the arena.

我走上競技場的那一刻起， 我就會是滑稽的。

With every wrestling match, I dug deeper.

隨著每一場摔角比賽，我投入更多。

I found out that I could laugh at myself.

我發現我可以笑我自己。

So this guy would dance and sing his entrance music

所以，這個傢伙會一路唱唱跳跳 自己的主題曲進場。

all the way to the ring.

That was dancing, by the way.

對了，我剛那是在跳舞。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I found out that I was an OK wrestler,

我發現我是個還可以的摔角手，

but I was an even better entertainer.

但我是個更棒的表演者。

And turning myself up made me unforgettable to the fans.

而自我發揮的結果 是粉絲對我難以忘懷。

I was trying to find those things about me --

我在試圖找到我的特質──

the simple things that were special,

簡單但特別的特質，

and then ask, "How can I turn them up?"

接著來問：「我要如何發揮它們？」

Now, I knew I wanted my character to be a man's man like my dad was.

我知道我希望我的角色 是像老爸那種男人中的男人。

I thought, "What's more of a man's man than a cowboy?"

我心想：「有什麼比牛仔 還更能代表男人中的男人？」

And that's when Gator became "Cowboy" ... Gator ...

從此，鱷魚就變成了 「牛仔」鱷魚 ......

Yeah, I needed a last name.

是啊，我需要個姓氏。

I thought about it until my head hurt. I couldn't come up with anything.

我想到頭都痛了，仍然想不出來。

I'm sitting there watching TV one night, flipping through the channels,

有天晚上，坐著看電視，隨意轉台，

看到了一個廣告，

and this commercial comes on

about a country singer who had just won an Entertainer of the Year award.

內容是剛剛贏得 年度表演者獎的鄉村歌手。

Tim McGraw.

提姆麥克羅。

He's a cool cowboy with a great last name.

他是個酷牛仔，姓氏又很好聽。

And I liked his music.

且我喜歡他的音樂。

It was just all part of my process.

這都是我的過程的一部份。

But I just kept turning myself up

但我就不斷地自我發揮，

until I became Cowboy Gator Magraw!

直到我成為牛仔鱷魚麥克羅！

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

And I knew that if I kept turning myself up

我知道如果我不斷自我發揮，

and pushing myself harder,

更用力逼我自己，

the opportunities would come.

機會就會來臨。

And then it finally happened.

而它終於發生了。

In the middle of the night,

在大半夜，

I got a phone call.

我接到一通電話。

It was the call I wish my dad was around to hear.

是那通我希望我老爸 能在旁邊一起聽的電話。

The WWE,

WWE（世界摔角娛樂），

the biggest wrestling organization in the world,

世界最大的摔角組織，

wanted me to come and be a part of Monday Night Raw.

想要我去擔任星期一晚上 節目中的一個角色。

Yes -- all of my hard work and miles on the road were finally paying off.

是的，我所有的努力 和走過的路終於都有回報了。

I got to walk down the WWE Raw entrance ramp on live television --

我得以在電視直播中走在 WWE 節目的進場坡道上──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

dressed up as a fake security guard --

穿得像是個假保安人員──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

to escort another wrestler to the ring.

護送另一位摔角手到場上。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Sure, I was disappointed I didn't get to wrestle,

當然，我很失望，我沒上台摔角，

but very few wrestlers get any kind of call from the WWE.

但很少有摔角手能接到 WWE 那樣子的電話。

Maybe one in a few hundred.

也許幾百人中才有一人。

And becoming Cowboy Gator Magraw is what got me there.

是因為變成牛仔鱷魚麥克羅 才讓我走到這一步。

So instead of walking away that day,

所以那天，我並沒有一走了之，

I decided to turn myself up again

我決定再一次自我發揮，

and become the best security guard I could.

極盡所能扮演最好的保安人員。

In fact, I did it so well,

事實上，我做得太好了，

I was the only guard to get a close-up on TV that night.

我是唯一在電視上 有特寫鏡頭的保安人員。

That's a big deal, you know?

這很了不起，你們知道嗎？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I got to sit backstage that entire day

那整天，我得以坐在後台，

with some of the most famous pro wrestlers in the world,

和一些世界最知名的 職業摔角手在一起，

some of which were heroes of mine as a kid.

有些是我兒時的英雄。

And I got to listen to them and learn from them,

我得以傾聽他們、向他們學習，

and for that day,

而那一天，

I was accepted as one of them.

我被接受成為他們的一份子。

Maybe my experience with the WWE wasn't ideal.

也許我在 WWE 的 經歷並不是很理想。

I mean, I didn't get to wrestle.

我是指，我沒上台摔角。

But it made me work harder,

但那讓我更努力，

turning myself up louder year after year.

一年又一年，把我自己發揮到更好。

I was becoming the biggest version of myself in the ring,

我在場上變成了我自己最棒的版本，

and other people took notice.

而其他人注意到了。

Before I knew it,

在我察覺之前，

I'd gone from wrestling maybe once a month in Minnesota

我已經從在明尼蘇達 大約一個月摔角一次，

to as often as four times a week all over the United States

變成一週就能在全美的 獨立摔角聯合組織

on the independent wrestling circuit.

有四場摔角比賽這麼頻繁。

I was literally living my dream.

我真的實現了我的夢。

While wrestling over the next few years,

不過在接下來幾年的摔角，

I suffered a pretty bad shoulder injury

我被蠻嚴重的肩傷所苦，

right around the same time my wife and I found out

大約同時，我太太和我發現，

that we were expecting our first child.

我們的第一個孩子也要到來了。

I know what you're thinking,

我知道你們在想什麼，

but believe me when I say those two events are completely unrelated.

但相信我，這兩件事完全無關。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But I needed shoulder surgery,

但，我的肩膀需要動手術，

and I wanted to be home with my family.

且我想在家陪我的家人。

It was my turn to be a dad.

該我當老爸了。

So on July 27, 2007,

所以，在 2007 年 7 月 27 日，

I wrestled my final match,

我進行了最後一場摔角賽，

and walked away from professional wrestling

然後離開了職業摔角，

to pursue the next chapter of my life.

去追尋我人生的下一章。

And as time passed,

隨時間過去，

the strangest thing started to happen.

奇妙的事情開始發生。

I found out that once someone has been turned up,

我發現，當一個人發揮起來之後，

it's pretty hard to turn them down.

就很難再還原回去。

I left the ring but Gator stayed with me,

我離開了摔角，但鱷魚還與我同在，

and I use the turned-up version of myself every day.

且我每天用的還是 我已發揮出來的版本。

My beautiful wife has been with me through this entire journey.

我美麗的太太陪我走過這整段旅程。

And by the way -- she does not like pro wrestling.

順道一提，她不喜歡職業摔角。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Like, at all.

完全不喜歡。

But she was always my biggest fan.

但她始終是我的頭號粉絲。

She still is.

她仍然是。

She knows there's always going to be some part of Gator Magraw in here,

她知道永遠都會有 一部份的鱷魚麥克羅在這裡，

and she wants our daughter and twin sons to discover themselves

她想要我們的女兒 和雙胞胎兒子自己去發現，

the way that I did,

像我當初的方式，

but probably with fewer body slams and steel chair shots to the head.

但可能少一些背摔 和鐵椅砸頭的攻擊。

I mean, do you know how many times she's had to remind me

我的意思是，你們知道 她提醒了我多少次

not to clothesline the referees at my kid's soccer games?

在我孩子的足球比賽時 別對裁判用金臂勾嗎？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I mean, it was just the one time,

我是說，我只犯過一次，

and my daughter was clearly fouled!

那次很明顯我女兒被犯規！

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

As a parent now, I've begun to realize that my dad wanted something

現在身為父母，我開始 了解到我老爸想要的

much more valuable than a retirement fund.

遠比退休金更有價值。

Like most parents,

就像大部份的父母，

he just wanted his kids to reach their fullest potential.

他只想要他的孩子發揮全部的潛能。

I'm trying to teach my children

我試著教導我的孩子

that turning yourself up is just not some perfect idea of how to be great,

發揮自己，並不只是個 要如何變偉大的完美想法，

it's a way of living --

而是一種生活方式──

constantly looking for what makes you different

要經常尋找是什麼讓你與眾不同，

and how you can amplify it for the world to see.

以及你能如何放大它，讓世界看見。

And by the way, my kids don't like wrestling, either.

順道一提，我的孩子也不喜歡摔角。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But that's OK with me,

但我覺得沒關係，

because they each have their own unique talents that can be turned up

因為他們每個人都有 獨特的才華等著要發揮，

just like the rest of us.

和我們所有人一樣。

My one son -- he's a whiz at electronics.

我的一個兒子是電子學奇才。

So maybe helping him turn up makes him become the next Steve Jobs.

所以也許協助他發揮， 會讓他變成下一個賈伯斯。

My other son and my daughter -- they're great at art,

我的另一個兒子 和我女兒對藝術很行，

so maybe helping them turn up their gifts

所以也許協助他們發揮天賦，

helps them become the next Pablo Picasso.

會讓他們變成下一個畢卡索。

You never know what you have the ability to do

若沒去發掘，你永遠不知道

until you dig.

你能做到什麼。

And don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

不要害怕讓自己呈現出來。

I mean, look around.

我的意思是，看看四周。

They say that if you get nervous in front of an audience,

有人說，如果你在觀眾面前會緊張，

just imagine them in their underwear.

就想像他們穿著內褲。

But then I think, "Hey, I've wrestled in less."

但我接著想：「嘿， 我摔角時穿得更少耶。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Look, the wrestling circus doesn't need to come to your town

摔角表演團不需要到你的鎮上，

before you get an invitation to be the real you --

你也能成為真正的自己──

the bigger, more stunning version of yourself.

你自己更強大、更出色的版本。

It doesn't even necessarily come from our parents.

甚至未必來自我們的父母。

Turning yourself up means looking inward toward our true selves

發揮自己，意味著 向內看向真實的自我，

and harnessing the voice that says,

並駕馭那個聲音：

"Maybe, just maybe,

「也許，只是也許，

I am more than I thought I was."

我比我想像的還要更好。」

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）