Elizabeth Camarillo Gutierrez: What's missing from the American immigrant narrative | TED

譯者: Tingwen Yan 審譯者: Grant Hou

Hi, everyone, my name is Elizabeth,

嗨，大家好，我是伊麗莎白，

and I work on the trading floor.

我的工作是場內交易員。

But I'm still pretty new to it.

但我還算是新手。

I graduated from college about a year and a half ago,

我大約一年半前從大學畢業，

and to be quite honest,

但是老實說，

I'm still recovering from the recruiting process

我還在試圖從當初面試的過程中

I had to go through to get here.

恢復正常到能站上臺。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, I don't know about you,

我不知道你們怎麼想，

but this is the most ridiculous thing

但在這整個過程中，

that I still remember about the whole process,

我所記得最荒謬的事情，

was asking insecure college students what their biggest passion was.

就是詢問缺乏信心的大學生 他們最大的熱情是什麼。

Like, do you expect me to have an answer for that?

難道你期望我知道 這個問題的答案嗎？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Of course I did.

我當然知道。

And to be quite honest,

老實說，

I really showed those recruiters just how passionate I was

我真的讓那些招募人員 看到我的熱情有多大，

by telling them all about my early interest in the global economy,

我告訴他們我很早 就對全球經濟感興趣，

which, conveniently, stemmed from the conversations

這事對我來說毫不費力，

我講的是從我移民來的父母那裡

that I would overhear my immigrant parents having

偷聽到的一段對話，

about money and the fluctuating value of the Mexican peso.

談的是錢以及墨西哥 披索幣值的波動。

They love a good personal story.

招募人員喜歡好的個人故事。

But you know what?

但你們知道嗎？

I lied.

我說謊了。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And not because the things I said weren't true --

並不是因為我說的不是真的──

I mean, my parents were talking about this stuff.

我的父母的確有談過這議題。

But that's not really why I decided to jump into finance.

但這並不是我決定 投入金融業的真正原因。

I just really wanted to pay my rent.

我只是很希望能付得出房租。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And here's the thing.

重點在於，

The reality of having to pay my rent and do real adult things

在現實上，我們必須 付房租和過成人的生活，

is something that we're rarely willing to admit to employers,

但我們卻甚少願意向僱主、他人，

to others and even to ourselves.

甚至對我們自己這麼承認。

I know I wasn't about to tell my recruiters

我知道我不打算告訴招募人員

that I was there for the money.

我是為了錢才去的。

And that's because for the most part,

那是因為，多數情況下，

we want to see ourselves as idealists

我們想將自己視為是理想主義者，

and as people who do what they believe in

並在做自己相信的事，

and pursue the things that they find the most exciting.

在追尋最能讓我們興奮的事。

But the reality is

但現實是，

very few of us actually have the privilege to do that.

只有少數的幸運兒能這麼做。

Now, I can't speak for everyone,

我不能代表所有人，

but this is especially true for young immigrant professionals like me.

但對於像我這樣年輕、具移民身份的 專業人士而言更是如此。

And the reason this is true has something to do with the narratives

這背後的原因

和社會不斷灌輸我們的說法有關，

that society has kept hitting us with

in the news, in the workplace

在新聞上、在工作地點，

and even by those annoyingly self-critical voices in our heads.

甚至我們腦中惱人的 自我批評都會這麼說。

So what narratives am I referring to?

我指的是什麼樣的說法？

Well, there's two that come to mind when it comes to immigrants.

就移民而言，馬上 可以想到兩種說法。

The first is the idea of the immigrant worker.

第一種是對移民工人的看法。

You know, people that come to the US in search of jobs as laborers,

他們來美國，找的可能是粗工、

or field workers, dish washers.

農場工人、洗碗工之類的工作，

You know, things that we might consider low-wage jobs

這些可能會被我們認為是低薪的工作，

but the immigrants?

但對移民來說呢？

That's a good opportunity.

是個好機會。

The news nowadays has convoluted that whole thing quite a bit.

現今的新聞把這整件事 弄得很曲折難懂，

You could say that it's made America's relationship with immigrants complicated.

可以說讓美國和移民 之間的關係變複雜了。

And as immigrant expert George Borjas would have put it,

用移民專家喬治·博爾哈斯的話來說：

it's kind of like America wanted workers,

這就有點像是美國只想要「工人」，

but then, they got confused when we got people instead.

結果，當來的是「人」時， 卻覺得非常困惑。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I mean, it's natural that people want to strive

我的意思是，大家努力 想要有地方住，

to put a roof over their heads and live a normal life, right?

想要過正常的生活， 這很正常，對吧？

So for obvious reasons,

因此，顯然，

this narrative has been driving me a little bit crazy.

這種說法就會讓我有點受不了。

But it's not the only one.

但不止這個說法有問題。

The other narrative that I'm going to talk about

我要談的另一種說法，

是關於「超級移民」的想法。

is the idea of the superimmigrant.

In America, we love to idolize superimmigrants

在美國，我們總喜歡 把超級移民給偶像化，

as the ideal symbols of American success.

成為美國夢成功的理想象徵。

I grew up admiring superimmigrants,

我在成長過程中很崇拜超級移民，

because their existence fueled my dreams and it gave me hope.

因為他們的存在讓我有動力 去追夢，並給我希望。

The problem with this narrative is that it also seems to cast a shadow

這種說法的問題在於，

它似乎會在失敗的人身上蒙上陰影，

on those that don't succeed

or that don't make it in that way, as less than.

或讓沒達到這種成就的人 被視為「比較差」。

And for years, I got caught up in the ways

於是，這些年來，我就被困在這些

in which it seemed to celebrate one type of immigrant

看似在讚頌某一種移民，

while villainizing the other.

同時卻妖魔化另一種的處境裡。

I mean, were my parents' sacrifices not enough?

我的意思是，我父母 犧牲得還不夠多嗎？

Was the fact that my dad came home from the metal factory

我爸爸從金屬工廠下班回家時，

covered in corrosive dust,

全身都是腐蝕性粉塵，

was that not super?

這稱不上「超級」嗎？

Don't get me wrong,

別誤會我的意思，

I've internalized both of these narratives to some degree,

我對這兩種說法 都有一定程度的認同，

and in many ways,

從許多方面來說，

seeing my heroes succeed, it has pushed me to do the same.

看見我的英雄成功， 促使我也去做同樣的事。

But both of these narratives are flawed in the ways

但這兩種說法都有瑕疵，

in which they dehumanize people if they don't fit within a certain mold

如果人們不符合某種模型 或者以某種方式成功，

or succeed in a certain way.

他們就不會被當作人看。

And this really affected my self-image,

而這真的影響到我的自我形象，

because I started to question these ideas for who my parents were

因為我開始質疑那些關於

我父母是什麼人、 我是什麼人的想法，

and who I was,

and I started to wonder,

接著，我開始納悶：

"Am I doing enough to protect my family and my community

「我是否有盡力去保護 我的家庭和社群，

from the injustices that we felt every day?"

以對抗我們每天感受到的不公？」

So why did I choose to "sell out"

所以，在看了這麼多悲劇 在我面前發生後，

while watching tragedies unfold right in front of me?

我為什麼還會選擇「出賣自己」？

Now, it took me a long time to come to terms with my decisions.

我花了很長的時間 才終於接受這個決定。

And I really have to thank the people

我真的得要感謝

營運西班牙裔獎學金基金（HSF）的人，

running the Hispanic Scholarship Fund, or HSF,

for validating this process early on.

他們在一開始就證明這個過程的價值。

And the way that HSF --

HSF 這個組織所做的，

an organization that strives to help students achieve higher education

是努力透過輔導和獎學金的方式，

through mentorship and scholarships --

幫助學生獲得高等教育。

the way that they helped calm my anxiety,

而他們平息我焦慮情緒的方式，

it was by telling me something super familiar.

是告訴我一件我非常熟悉的事情。

Something that you all probably have heard before

一件大家可能都聽過的事情，

in the first few minutes after boarding a flight.

就在你上飛機後幾分鐘聽到的：

In case of an emergency,

「如果遇到緊急事件，

put your oxygen mask on first before helping those around you.

自己先戴上氧氣罩再幫助別人。」

Now I understand that this means different things to different people.

我知道，這對不同的人 有著不同的意義。

But for me, it meant that immigrants couldn't

但對我來說，

移民者不可以，且永遠不能 被描述成某種刻板形象。

and would never be able to fit into any one narrative,

because most of us are actually just traveling along a spectrum,

因為我們之中多數人 也只是走在人生的軌道上，

trying to survive.

努力活下去。

And although there may be people that are further along in life

也許有人可以走得更遠，

with their oxygen mask on and secured in place,

戴著他們的氧氣罩，待在安全的地方。

there are undoubtedly going to be others

但毫無疑問，肯定有其他人

that are still struggling to put theirs on

還在嘗試戴上氧氣罩，

before they can even think about helping those around them.

之後才能思考怎麼幫助身邊的人。

Now, this lesson really hit home for me,

我深深地體會到了這個教訓，

because my parents,

因為我的父母

while they wanted us to be able to take advantage of opportunities

希望我們能善用機會，

in a way that we wouldn't have been able to do so anywhere else --

用一種我們在其他地方 無法用的方式善用

I mean, we were in America,

──我的意思是，我們在美國，

and so as a child, this made me have these crazy, ambitious

這讓當時還是個孩子的我，

能對我的未來有個 瘋狂、有野心且縝密的夢想。

and elaborate dreams for what my future could look like.

But the ways in which the world sees immigrants,

但是這個世界看待移民的眼光，

it affects more than just the narratives in which they live.

不但影響了他們生活中的種種，

It also impacts the ways laws and systems can affect communities,

更影響了法律以及社會系統

對待社群、家庭及個人的方式。

families and individuals.

I know this firsthand,

我自己感同身受。

because these laws and systems, well, they broke up my family,

因為這些法律和社會系統 拆散了我的家庭，

and they led my parents to return to Mexico.

強迫我的父母回到墨西哥。

And at 15,

在我十五歲那年，

my eight-year-old brother and I,

我和我八歲的弟弟，

we found ourselves alone and without the guidance

頓時就失去了依靠，

that our parents had always provided us with.

失去了來自父母親的指引。

Despite being American citizens,

縱然我們已經是美國公民，

we both felt defeated

但身在這個一直被我們認為是 充滿著機遇的地方，

by what we had always known to be the land of opportunity.

我們仍舊感到挫敗。

Now, in the weeks that followed my parents' return to Mexico,

在我父母回墨西哥的幾週之後，

when it became clear that they wouldn't be able to come back,

發現他們不能再回來了，

I had to watch as my eight-year-old brother

我只能眼睜睜看著我八歲的弟弟

was pulled out of school to be with his family.

被迫休學，跟父母回墨西哥。

And during this same time,

在這段時間，

I wondered if going back

我在想，如果我也回去的話，

would be validating my parents' sacrifices.

會不會就浪費了我父母的犧牲。

And so I somehow convinced my parents to let me stay,

於是，我說服了我父母讓我留下，

without being able to guarantee them that I'd find somewhere to live

但卻無法向他們保證我有地方住，

or that I'd be OK.

或我會沒事。

But to this day, I will never forget how hard it was

但直到今天，我還是忘不掉

當時要去跟他們說再見有多難。

having to say goodbye.

And I will never forget how hard it was

我也永遠忘不掉

當時看著弟弟 在父母懷裡哭泣有多難熬，

watching my little brother crumble in their arms

as I waved goodbye from the other side of steel grates.

我卻得要在鐵柵欄的另一邊 向他們揮手道別。

Now, it would be naive to credit grit

如果我把毅力

as the sole reason for why I've been able to take advantage

當成我在那之後能得到並利用 許多好機會的唯一理由，

of so many opportunities since that day.

我就太天真了。

I mean, I was really lucky, and I want you to know that.

我真的非常幸運， 我還是想讓你們知道這點。

Because statistically speaking,

因為根據資料顯示，

students that are homeless or that have unstable living conditions,

無家可歸或者生活不穩定的學生

well, they rarely complete high school.

很少能順利完成高中學業。

But I do think

但我認為，

正因為有我父母的信任 讓我留在美國，

that it was because my parents had the trust in letting me go

that I somehow found the courage and strength

才讓我得到了 掌握機會的勇氣和力量，

to take on opportunities

even when I felt unsure or unqualified.

即便是在我感到不確定 或不夠格的情形下。

Now, there's no denying that there is a cost

毫無疑問地，

要實現美國夢是要付出代價的。

to living the American dream.

You do not have to be

關於這點，你不需要是

an immigrant or the child of immigrants to know that.

移民或移民的孩子才會知道。

But I do know that now, today,

但是我知道，

今天，我生活在一個接近

I am living something close to what my parents saw

對我父母而言的美國夢裡。

as their American dream.

Because as soon as I graduated from college,

因為，我一從大學畢業後，

I flew my younger brother to the United States to live with me,

我立刻把我弟弟接到美國 跟我一起生活，

so that he, too, could pursue his education.

這樣一來，他可以繼續完成他的學業。

Still, I knew that it would be hard flying my little brother back.

當然，我知道要把我弟弟 接過來並非易事。

I knew that it would be hard

我知道這會很困難，

having to balance the demands and professionalism

要同時去平衡一份入門級工作

required of an entry-level job

所需的要求跟專業精神，

while being responsible for a child with dreams and ambitions of his own.

還要對一個有著自己 夢想和野心的孩子負責。

But you can imagine how fun it is to be 24 years old,

但你們可以想像的是， 現在我二十四歲，

at the peak of my youth, living in New York,

在青春的黃金時期，身在紐約，

with an angsty teenage roommate who hates doing the dishes.

還有一個焦躁又不洗碗的 年輕室友，有多好玩。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

The worst.

一點也不好玩。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But when I see my brother learning how to advocate for himself,

但當我看到我的弟弟 學會為自己爭取權力，

and when I see him get excited about his classes and school,

以及他對學校和課堂的興奮之情時，

I do not doubt anything.

我不再有任何懷疑了。

Because I know that this bizarre,

因為我知道

正是我現在有的這個 怪異、美麗又帶著特權的生活，

beautiful and privileged life that I now live

is the true reason for why I decided to pursue a career

才讓我下定決心要去投入

一個可以帶給我跟我的家庭 穩定收入的職涯。

that would help me and my family find financial stability.

I did not know it back then,

我當時並不懂。

but during those eight years that I lived without my family,

但是，在沒有家人陪伴的這八年裡，

I had my oxygen mask on and I focused on survival.

我戴上了我的氧氣罩， 專注在讓自己活下去。

And during those same eight years,

在這八年裡，

I had to watch helplessly the pain and hurt

我只能無助地看著

分離帶給我與家人的痛苦與煎熬。

that it caused my family to be apart.

What airlines don't tell you is that putting your oxygen mask on first

在飛機上，沒有人告訴你的是： 你得先把氧氣罩戴上，

while seeing those around you struggle --

同時看著其他人在掙扎──

it takes a lot of courage.

這需要很大的勇氣。

But being able to have that self-control

但有時候，這樣的自制力

is sometimes the only way that we are able to help those around us.

是我們可以幫助別人的唯一方式。

Now I'm super lucky to be in a place where I can be there for my little brother

我覺得自己非常幸運 可以幫助我的弟弟，

so that he feels confident and prepared

讓他能有自信並做好準備，

to take on whatever he chooses to do next.

去踏上之後他選擇的任何一條路。

But I also know

但是我也知道，

that because I am in this position of privilege,

雖然現在我享受著某些特權，

I also have the responsibility

我也有責任

to make sure that my community finds spaces where they can find guidance,

去確保我的社群，能在適當的地方，

獲得他們需要的指導、通路跟支持。

access and support.

I can't claim to know where each and every one of you are

我不能宣稱說，我知道你們每個人

on your journey through life,

在人生道路上都經歷過些什麼。

but I do know that our world is one

但我知道，

當不同的聲音能被接納時， 這個世界才會更繁榮。

that flourishes when different voices come together.

My hope is that you will find the courage

我希望，你能有勇氣

to put your oxygen mask on when you need to,

在必要的時候，戴上自己的氧氣罩，

and that you will find the strength

接著，當你真正有能力，

to help those around you when you can.

你便能有餘力去幫助身邊的人。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Applause)

（掌聲）