The money talk that every couple needs to have | Your Money and Your Mind

Transcriber:

You know how your partner likes their coffee,

翻译人员: C Cheng 校对人员: Helen Chang

你知道你的伴侣喜欢什么样的咖啡，

what love language they speak

知道他们会用什么样的语言表达爱意，

and even their medical history.

你甚至知道他们的病史。

But how much do you know about their finances?

但是，你对他们的财政状况了解多少？

[Your Money and Your Mind with Wendy De La Rosa]

【财富与智慧】 【温迪·德·拉·罗莎】

Chances are, you and your better half are among the 78 percent of people

很有可能，你和你的另一半就像 其他百分之 78 的人一样，

who would rather share their full dating history

宁可分享彼此全部的恋爱史，

and all of that drama

所有充满戏剧性的经历，

and all of that baggage that comes along with it,

以及随之而来的各种负担，

rather than to disclose your full financial history.

也不愿透露自己完整的财政史。

And yet research shows that your significant other

然而有研究表明，你的另一半

has a large influence on a whole host of your behaviors.

对你的很多行为有着重大影响。

Understanding how they handle money

了解他们如何花钱

is a great way to prevent strife and misunderstandings.

是防止冲突，避免误解的好方法。

In fact, financial disagreements rank as the strongest predictor of divorce.

事实上，财务上的分歧是 离婚的最强预测因素。

So my tip here is that if you want to strengthen your relationship,

所以我的建议是， 如果你想要增进与伴侣的关系，

it's time to talk about the money.

那么现在是时候谈谈钱的问题了。

You might be thinking, "My partner and I don't need to talk.

你也许会认为， “我不需要和伴侣谈什么。

My partner takes care of the money," or vice versa.

我的伴侣负责管理钱物，” 或者反之亦然。

But a 2018 study of heterosexual couples shows that in these situations,

但是，2018年，对异性夫妇 进行的一项研究显示，

在此类情况下，承担全部责任，

the partner who takes on all of the responsibility,

the one who manages all of the financial tasks,

管理所有财政事务的一方，

they become more and more proficient at financial management over time.

将会随着时间的推移， 变得越来越精通理财之道。

But the other person,

但是对于另一方而言，

the person who has given up all of their financial responsibilities,

由于完全放弃了 自己在财务上的责任，

their financial management capabilities decline over time.

其理财能力则会与日俱减。

And what if something happens?

一旦发生变故怎么办？

Maybe you break up, maybe it doesn't work out,

你们也许会分手，婚姻也许会失败，

or, God forbid, maybe your spouse dies too early.

或者，你的爱人可能会过早离世， 但愿不会发生这样的事。

If the person who wasn't responsible for the money management

如果从未承担过理财责任的一方

ends up on their own,

最终变得无人可依，

that person oftentimes struggles to regain their financial skills,

那么在通常情况下， 由于很难重获理财技能，

making it more and more difficult

他们会觉得独自驾驭这个世界

for them to navigate the world alone.

变得越来越难以。

And 75 percent of the time,

在百分之 75 的情况下，

it's the women who outlive the men.

女性寿命比男性更长。

For the partner who hasn't taken on the money management role,

对于伴侣中从未 负责过理财的一方而言，

it's like forgetting a foreign language:

这就好像是忘记了一门外语：

when you stop using it,

如果你不使用这门语言，

you lose some of your ability to understand and communicate in it.

你就会失去用这种语言 进行理解交流的能力。

But if you keep that financial immersion going,

但是如果你一直与财务打交道的话，

so does your fluency.

你的财务技能也就会越来越熟练。

Being open about your finances can be very scary,

公开自己的财政状况 可能是件很可怕的事，

but it can also be very rewarding.

但是这也会对你十分有益。

Experiments have shown that shared vulnerability

种种试验已经表明，共同的弱点

establishes a greater sense of trust, cooperation

可以提高相互间的信任感，促进合作，

and intimacy in relationships.

加强关系中的亲密度。

So to get you started,

为了便于你们开始交流，

I, along with a couple of colleagues,

我和我的几位同事

developed a list of 10 conversation starters.

列了一个清单，里面包含了 10 个开启对话的话题。

Here are just three.

以下是其中的三个话题。

Number one:

第一个话题：

What are your long-term financial goals?

你们在财务上的长期目标是什么？

What do you want to accomplish together?

你们想一起取得怎样的成果？

Number two:

第二个话题：

How do you measure your financial success?

你们如何衡量财务成果？

Is it a house with a white picket fence,

衡量的标准是拥有一幢 带有白色尖桩栅栏房子，

or is it having the ability to live anywhere around the globe?

还是具有在全球各地居住的实力？

Number three:

第三个话题：

What's the one thing you wish your parents would have done differently financially?

就财务而言，你认为父母在哪件事上 本该采取不同举措？

As a university study found,

某大学的一项研究发现，

it's important to answer these questions together

一起回答这些问题是非常重要的，

because joint decision-making,

因为联合决策，

making decisions as a couple,

也就是，夫妻共同做出的决定，

oftentimes results in taking fewer risks

通常会减少风险，

that in turn can lead to higher savings.

从而增加储蓄。

Now, I'm sure you intuitively understand

我确信，凭借直觉，你们都明白，

that open, honest conversations with your better half are beneficial.

与另一半进行坦诚不公的交流 是一件十分有益的事。

And I understand that it's difficult to get started,

我也理解，开启对话并非易事，

especially when talking about money.

特别是在论及金钱的时候。

But a great first step is just to put some time on the calendar

在日程表上安排一些时间 就是一个不错的起步，

so that you two can have a nice financial chat.

这样你们俩就可以 愉快地聊聊财务问题。

Take out your phone right now,

现在就拿出手机，

set the calendar invite.

设置日程邀请。

Your future self will thank you.

你将来会为此而感谢自己。