Simon Sinek: How to discover your "why" in difficult times | TED

442,128 views ・ 2021-05-28

TED


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00:00
Transcriber:
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Prevoditelj: Sanja Srbljnović Čuček Recezent: Neda Vrkic
00:12
Chris Anderson: Simon, I'll start us off by saying, I mean, here we are, look,
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Chris Anderson: Simon, započet ću s ovim, mislim, tu smo, eto,
00:16
after a year of the pandemic,
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nakon godine pandemije,
00:19
probably one of the most extraordinary experiences any of us have had.
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vjerojatno jedno od najčudnijih iskustava koje je itko od nas imao.
00:25
What do you think the unexpected psychological carryovers might be?
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Što misliš, koje bi neočekivane psihološke posljedice mogle uslijediti?
00:30
I mean, do you think we've kind of --
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Dakle, misliš li da imamo neku --
00:32
Part of me thinks that people have got more fragile,
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Dio mene vjeruje da su ljudi postali krhkiji,
da je to gotovo poput neke vrste naučene plahosti.
00:35
that it's almost like there's a sort of learned timidity.
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00:38
Have you seen any evidence of that or how would you characterize it?
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Imaš li nekih dokaza za to ili kako bi to opisao?
00:41
Simon Sinek: I think we've definitely all become much more aware
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Simon Sinek: Mislim da smo definitivno postali puno svjesniji
00:44
of mental health.
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mentalnog zdravlja.
00:46
And that it's a real thing
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I da je to nešto realno
00:48
and that mental health affects strong and healthy people.
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i da mentalno zdravlje utječe na jake i zdrave ljude.
00:53
We all suffered trauma during COVID.
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Svi smo doživjeli traumu za vrijeme COVID-a.
00:56
Some of us dealt with it earlier, some of us dealt with it later,
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Neki od nas su to prošli ranije, neki su to prolazili kasnije,
00:59
some of us are still dealing with it, but nobody escapes it.
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neki to još uvijek prolaze,
ali nitko to ne može izbjeći.
01:02
When COVID first started, you know,
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Kad je COVID tek započeo,
mnogi od nas su morali preokrenuti organizacije,
01:06
many of us had to pivot our organizations,
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01:08
had to pivot our businesses very quickly.
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preokrenuti naša poslovanja i to vrlo brzo.
01:11
And so I, like many others, we went into mission mode.
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I tako sam i ja, poput mnogih, pokrenuli smo misijski pristup.
01:15
And I called a friend of mine who is active-duty military.
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I nazvao sam prijatelja koji je aktivna vojna osoba.
01:18
And I asked him a very simple question,
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I pitao sam vrlo jednostavno,
01:20
how do I compartmentalize my emotions so that I can stay focused on the mission?
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kako da se odvojim od svojih emocija tako da se mogu fokusirati na misiju?
01:24
And he gave me a very stern warning.
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A on me vrlo oštro upozorio.
01:26
He said, you can't.
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Rekao je, to ne možeš.
01:28
He said, we can compartmentalize our emotions for only a short period of time,
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Rekao je, možemo se odvojiti od svojih emocija samo na kratko vrijeme,
01:31
but no one, no one escapes the trauma of combat.
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ali nitko, baš nitko ne može izbjeći traumu borbe.
01:36
And he said, you may not even experience the trauma while you're in it,
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Traumu možeš ne doživjeti dok si u njoj,
može izostati kad dođeš kući,
01:40
you may not experience it when you first come home,
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može nastupiti mjesecima kasnije.
01:42
you may experience it months later.
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Rekao je, osjetim to četiri ili pet mjeseci nakon povratka kući.
01:44
He says, I experience it four or five months after I get home.
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Odmah sam prekinuo vezu
01:47
So immediately I hung up the phone
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i nazvao sve svoje prijatelje ličnosti A-tipa
01:49
and called all my A-type personality friends
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i rekao, OK, mislim da smo dobro,
01:51
and said, OK, we think we're good,
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01:53
but we're going to get hit by this at some point.
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ali će nas to pogoditi u nekom trenutku.
01:55
And we made a deal that when we started to feel off our game,
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I dogovorili smo se da kad osjetimo da ne funkcioniramo,
01:58
we would call each other.
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da nazovemo jedni druge.
02:00
Safe space.
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Prostor sigurnosti.
02:02
And we made another deal that there would be no crying alone.
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I još smo se dogovorili da nitko neće plakati sam.
Da ako moraš plakati, uzmeš telefon i nekog nazoveš.
02:05
That if you had to cry, you picked up the phone and you called somebody.
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Oko četvrtog ili petog mjeseca u COVID-u,
02:08
Well, about four or five months into COVID,
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počeo sam osjećati da ne funkcioniram i nisam znao što se događa.
02:10
I started to feel off my game and I didn't know what was going on.
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02:13
And so I called that same friend in the military
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Pa sam nazvao onog prijatelja iz vojske
02:16
and I asked no leading questions.
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i nisam postavljao dodatna pitanja.
02:18
I simply asked him, tell me what your symptoms are when you suffer the trauma
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Samo sam ga zamolio da mi kaže svoje simptome traume
02:23
when you come home from combat.
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kad se vrati kući iz borbe.
02:25
And he said, well, number one, he falls out of his sleep pattern.
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I rekao je, prvo, poremeti mu se ritam spavanja.
02:28
He said he starts going to bed late for no reason
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Kaže da ide kasno spavati bez ikakvog razloga
02:31
and doesn't want to get up in the morning.
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i ne da mu se ujutro ustati.
I ja si mislim, baš tako.
02:33
And I thought to myself, yep.
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02:34
He says he has some unproductive days and he comes up with an excuse like,
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Kaže da ima neproduktivne dane i za njih nalazi opravdanje kao,
02:38
"It's OK, you know, you deserve a rest. It's fine."
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“To je OK, znaš, treba ti odmor. To je u redu.”
02:41
But then he has another and another and another.
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A onda slijedi još i još takvih dana.
I ja si mislim, baš tako.
02:44
And I thought to myself, yep.
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02:46
And he said he becomes very antisocial where he doesn't want to ask for help
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Pa onda postaje vrlo asocijalan i ne želi tražiti pomoć
i definitivno ne želi ni s kim razgovarati.
02:50
and he definitely doesn't want to talk to anybody.
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I ja si mislim, baš tako.
02:52
And I thought to myself, yep.
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02:54
And I realized what I was going through was trauma.
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I shvatim da je ono kroz što prolazim trauma.
02:57
And I was afraid to use the D-word, depression,
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A bojao sam se upotrijebiti D-riječ, depresiju,
03:01
for fear that that was some sort of diagnosis.
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iz straha da je to neka vrsta dijagnoze.
03:04
I think a lot of people are afraid of that word,
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Mislim da se mnogo ljudi boji te riječi,
03:06
but that's exactly what I was going through.
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no prolazio sam baš kroz to.
03:08
I was going through lowercase “D” depression.
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Prolazio sam kroz blaži oblik depresije.
03:11
And I followed the rule that we set with our friends
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I slijedio sam pravilo koje smo postavili s prijateljima
03:14
and I called people.
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i nazivao sam ljude.
03:16
Because one of the things I asked my friend is like,
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Jedno od pitanja mom prijatelju bilo je, kako to prebroditi?
03:19
how do you overcome it?
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Rekao je, moraš se natjerati u ritam spavanja
03:20
He said, you have to force yourself back into a sleep pattern
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i natjerati se nazvati prijatelje i zamoliti pomoć.
03:23
and force yourself to call friends and ask for help.
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Mislim da je jedna od stvari koja proizlazi iz COVID-a,
03:25
And so I think one of the things,
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03:27
I think that comes out of COVID,
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03:29
is we recognized just the importance of human connection.
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da smo upravo shvatili važnost ljudske povezanosti.
03:33
You know, in this fast-paced digital world,
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Znate, u ovom dinamičnom digitalnom svijetu,
03:37
we kidded ourselves to think that we had connections
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vjerovali smo da imamo komunikaciju jer smo bili povezani.
03:39
just because we were connected.
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Bilo je fantastično vidjeti kad je počeo COVID,
03:41
But it was amazing to see when COVID started,
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03:43
regardless of someone's age or a technological competency,
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bez obzira na godine i tehnološku kompetenciju,
03:48
we all picked up the phone.
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svi smo posegnuli za telefonom.
03:50
Like, young people were talking to each other.
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Mladi ljudi su razgovarali jedni s drugima.
03:52
And I think that intense craving for a human voice and human touch,
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I ta intenzivna žudnja za ljudskim glasom i ljudskim dodirom,
podsjetila nas je na to koliko smo krhki kao ljudska bića.
03:57
I think we were reminded just how fragile we are as human beings.
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04:01
CA: That phrase you've mentioned, "no crying alone," that's powerful.
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CA: Ta fraza koju si spomenuo, “nitko neće plakati sam,” ima snagu.
04:06
I mean, forgive me asking, did you cry with someone?
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Oprosti na pitanju, jesi li s nekim plakao?
04:08
SS: Yes.
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SS: Da.
04:10
I followed my own counsel to my friends.
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Poslušao sam vlastiti savjet prijateljima.
04:14
And when I had to cry, when I was overwhelmed,
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I kad sam morao plakati, kad sam bio skrhan,
04:17
I picked up the phone and I just cried.
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nazvao sam i jednostavno plakao.
04:22
And I had friends call me and do the same.
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I prijatelji bi mene nazvali i isto plakali.
04:24
CA: And there was healing in that.
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CA: I to je bilo ljekovito.
04:26
SS: The most important thing that came from it
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Najvažnija stvar koja je iz toga proizašla je
04:29
was that we didn't --
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da se nismo --
nitko od nas se nije osjećao sam.
04:32
none of us felt alone.
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04:34
And there's intense safety.
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A to je jak osjećaj sigurnosti.
04:37
That amazing sense of safety that we all desire as human beings.
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Taj divan osjećaj sigurnosti za kojim svi kao ljudi čeznemo.
04:42
You know, you can't feel safe when you're vulnerable,
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Ne možete se osjećati sigurno dok ste ranjivi,
04:45
like, that's when we need it the most.
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dakle onda kad to najviše trebamo.
04:47
But you have to build those relationships.
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Ali takve veze morate graditi.
04:50
You build those relationships in the happy times, the good times,
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Takve veze gradite u sretnim i dobrim vremenima,
kad mislite da ste jaki, da ste sjajni.
04:53
where you think you're strong, you think you're great.
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Vrlo je teško početi graditi takve veze
04:56
It’s very hard to start building those relationships
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04:58
in the moment of crisis.
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u trenutku krize.
05:01
And I think it's a lesson for leadership, quite frankly.
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I iskreno rečeno, mislim da je to lekcija iz liderstva.
05:05
Which is, you can't judge the quality of a crew
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Što znači, ne možete ocijeniti kvalitetu posade
05:07
by how a ship performs in calm waters.
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po tome kako brod plovi mirnim morem.
05:09
You judge the quality of a crew by how a ship performs in rough waters.
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Vidite kvalitetu posade po tome kako se brod nosi sa olujom.
05:12
But the time in calm waters
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No dok je more mirno tad gradite veze i povjerenje.
05:14
is when you're building relationship and trust
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05:16
and you don't really actually know if you have trusting relationships
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I nikad zapravo ne znate imate li nečije povjerenje,
05:20
and trusting teams and loving relationships
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timove od povjerenja i ljubavlju prožete veze
05:22
until the crisis strikes.
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sve dok ne dođe kriza.
05:24
And I heard this from a lot of people:
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I čuo sam to od mnogo ljudi:
05:27
When COVID happened,
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Kad se dogodio COVID,
05:29
they commented on how they realized who their real friends were.
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Osvrnuli bi se na to kako su otkrili tko su im pravi prijatelji.
05:32
Some people kind of fell by the wayside, it was nothing personal.
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Neki su jednostavno otpali, nije bilo ništa osobno.
05:35
It's just like, we didn't call each other and we're still, you know,
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Kao, nismo zvali jedni druge a ipak, znate,
nismo bili ljuti ili slično.
05:39
weren’t angry or anything.
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05:40
And there are some people who came out of the woodwork to check in on us
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A bilo ih je koji bi se pojavili niotkuda da provjere kako smo
05:43
and those friendships flourished.
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i ta su prijateljstva cvjetala.
05:46
And that's what I mean.
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I to je ono što mislim.
05:49
It takes hardship for those friendships and that trust to really bear fruit.
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Potrebne su nevolje da ta prijateljstva i to povjerenje urode plodom.
05:55
But that's why we have to invest in people when we're doing well
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Zato trebamo investirati u ljude
kad nam dobro ide i kad nam nitko ne treba.
05:58
and we don't think we need anybody.
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Mislim da to zaboravljamo.
06:00
And I think we forget that.
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06:01
CA: What would you say to someone who has realized
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CA: Što bi rekao onima koji su upravo shvatili
06:05
that they're in this moment, what's been a really difficult year,
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da u ovom trenutku, u ovoj stvarno teškoj godini,
06:08
and they actually don't feel that there's someone they could,
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da zapravo ne osjećaju da ima netko koga bi,
06:12
for example,
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na primjer, nazvali i s njime plakali?
06:13
pick up the phone and cry with?
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Jesu li oni bez izgleda dok sve ovo ne prođe?
06:17
Is it hopeless for them until this passes?
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06:20
Or what would you say to them?
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Ili što bi njima poručio?
06:21
SS: There is an irony.
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SS: Tu leži ironija.
06:22
There's an irony in when we need help.
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Ironija je u tome kad trebamo pomoć.
06:27
And when I was writing the book "Leaders Eat Last,"
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I kad sam pisao knjigu “Lideri jedu zadnji,”
06:29
I had the opportunity to spend some time with
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imao sam priliku provesti neko vrijeme sa
06:33
and visit Alcoholics Anonymous.
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i posjećivati Anonimne alkoholičare.
06:35
And it is a remarkable organization.
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A to je izuzetna organizacija.
06:39
And many of us are familiar with the 12-step program.
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I mnogi smo upoznati s programom od 12 koraka.
06:43
And many of us are familiar with the first step,
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I mnogi znaju za prvi korak,
06:46
which is admitting you have a problem.
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a to je priznati da imate problem.
06:48
But then it's the other 11 steps that also matter.
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A onda slijede i ostalih 11 koraka koji su isto važni.
06:52
And Alcoholics Anonymous knows
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A anonimni alkoholičar zna da ako uspiješ u prvih 11 koraka,
06:54
that if you master the first 11 steps,
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06:57
but not the 12th,
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ali ne i u 12-tom,
06:58
you are likely to succumb to the disease.
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vjerojatno ćeš podleći toj bolesti.
07:00
But if you master the 12 steps,
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A svladaš li tih 12 koraka, vjerojatnije je da ćeš je pobijediti.
07:02
you're more likely to overcome the disease.
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07:04
That 12th step is to help another alcoholic.
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Jer 12. korak je pomoći drugom alkoholičaru.
07:08
It's service.
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To je služenje.
07:09
And so there's a great irony when we need help
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Tako je velika ironija da kad mi trebamo pomoć
07:12
to actually help someone
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da zapravo pomognemo onom koji se bori s istom stvari kao i mi.
07:13
who's struggling with the same thing as us.
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07:15
And it is the most healing thing we can do.
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A to je najljekovitije što možemo učiniti.
07:17
So, you know, if we need someone to cry with,
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Pa ako trebamo nekog s kime bi plakali,
07:20
it's to offer the shoulder for somebody else to cry with.
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ponudimo nekom drugom rame za plakanje.
Osjećamo li se sami, budimo tu za nekog tko se bori s usamljenošću.
07:22
If we're feeling lonely,
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07:24
it's to be there for someone else who's struggling with loneliness.
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A to seže daleko dalje od ovih tema,
07:27
And this goes way beyond these subjects,
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07:29
which is if we're looking for love to help somebody else find love,
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tražimo li ljubav, pomozimo drugom da nađe ljubav,
tražimo li posao koji volimo, pomozimo drugom da nađe posao koji voli.
07:32
if we're looking for the job we love,
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07:34
to help somebody else find the job that they love.
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Služenje ima ogromnu važnost.
07:36
And there's tremendous value in service.
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07:38
And you hear about these things all the time,
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I o tome se cijelo vrijeme priča.
07:40
you talk to people why they chose to go in the profession they went into,
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Pitate zašto su birali baš tu profesiju, osobito ako su u uslužnoj djelatnosti.
07:44
especially if they're in the service profession,
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Recimo da je netko savjetnik za traume.
07:46
let's say somebody is a counselor for trauma.
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I pitate ga, zašto ste izabrali tu profesiju?
07:48
And you say, why did you go into this profession?
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07:50
"When I was younger, I suffered a trauma,
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“Kao mlađi, prolazio sam traumu, i našao se netko da me savjetuje
07:52
and somebody was there to counsel me
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pa sam odlučio posvetiti život da to činim za druge.”
07:54
and I decided I wanted to commit my life to doing that for others."
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07:57
This is what happens with service.
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To se događa kod služenja.
07:59
And we forget, just because we live in a modern world,
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I zaboravljamo, jer živimo u modernom svijetu,
08:03
we're actually a very old-fashioned machine.
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da smo zapravo vrlo staromodni strojevi.
08:05
The human animal is a legacy machine living in a modern world.
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Ljudska životinja je živuća baština u modernom svijetu.
08:08
And we still work the same way we used to.
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Još uvijek funkcioniramo na isti način.
08:11
And we desperately need each other to survive and thrive
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I očajnički trebamo jedni druge da preživimo i napredujemo,
08:15
as much as we did when we were living in huts
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jednako kao onda dok smo živjeli u kolibama
08:18
in small tribes of 150 people.
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u malim plemenima od 150 ljudi.
08:21
And so service service is the thing.
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Zato je služenje bitno.
08:24
CA: That sounds like,
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CA: To znači da je,
08:25
even for someone who's not feeling, like, depressed or at the edge right now,
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čak i za nekog tko sad ne osjeća depresiju ili slično,
08:28
but a good checklist-question to ask is,
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dobro pitanje za provjeru je, ima li netko komu stvarno mogu pomoći,
08:31
is there someone I could reach out to actually,
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08:33
there maybe other people who are in a much worse situation
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možda su drugi u daleko goroj situaciji
i možda bih mogao nazvati nekog kome bi to puno značilo
08:36
and maybe there is a call I could make
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08:37
that would be incredibly valuable to that person
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i pomoglo izgraditi vezu budućnosti?
08:40
and help build a relationship with future?
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SS: “Jesi li dobro?” je najbolje, ili “Kako si?”
08:42
SS: "Are you OK?" "How are you?
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08:44
You know, a friend of mine, George Flynn,
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Znate, moj prijatelj, George Flynn,
08:48
he says his test for a leader is if they ask you how you're doing,
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kaže da je njegov test za lidera, upita li vas kako ste,
08:53
they actually care about the answer.
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da mu je stvarno stalo do odgovora.
08:56
And I really like that.
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I to mi se stvarno sviđa.
08:58
CA: OK, I could talk with you for hours about this,
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CA: OK, mogao bih s tobom satima pričati o tome,
09:01
but we're going to go to some questions now.
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ali sad ćemo preći na neka pitanja.
09:03
So here's a question from Kayum.
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Dakle, pitanje od Kayum.
09:05
"If there is no way to get back to normal," as you said,
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“Ako nema načina da se vratimo u normalu,” kako si rekao,
09:08
"then are we on the right path of building new normal already?
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“jesmo li već na pravom putu izgradnje novog normalnog?
09:12
Or can you help us with a blueprint that new normal should be based on?"
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Ili nam možeš predložiti na čemu se treba temeljiti novo normalno?”
09:16
SS: So blueprint? No.
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SS: Prijedlog? Ne.
09:20
Guidances? Yes.
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Smjernice? Da.
09:22
I think that humanity has to be --
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Mislim da čovječnost mora biti --
09:25
We have to remember that humanity matters.
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Moramo znati da je čovječnost bitna.
09:28
And when I say humanity, I don't mean big-H Humanity,
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I pod tim ne mislim na veliku Čovječnost, mislim na malu, našu čovječnost.
09:31
I mean little-H humanity, our humanity.
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Kad se prvi put dogodio COVID,
09:33
When COVID first happened,
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09:34
so many leaders leaned on their humanity,
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mnogo se lidera oslonilo na svoju čovječnost.
Bilo da su prije COVID-a bili efikasni ili ne, mnogi su dohvatili telefon
09:38
whether they were effective or ineffective leaders prior to COVID,
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09:41
many of them picked up the phone and said, "Are you OK?"
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i pitali, “Jesi li dobro?” Samo su provjeravali kako su njihovi timovi.
09:44
They called their teams just to check in on them.
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Ili bi nazvali prijatelje i pitali, “Jesi li dobro? Kako si?”
09:46
Or they called their friends to say, "Are you OK? How are you?"
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09:50
Well, we don't need a global pandemic to do that.
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Dakle, ne trebamo globalnu pandemiju da to radimo.
09:53
That's called good leadership
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To se zove dobro liderstvo
09:54
and we should be doing that all the time.
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i to bismo trebali raditi čitavo vrijeme.
09:57
And we should be encouraging those in our charge to do the same
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Trebali bi hrabriti one za koje odgovaramo da čine isto sa svojim podređenima.
10:00
for those in their charge.
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10:01
You know, the hierarchy can still be effective that way.
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Znate, hijerarhija još uvijek može biti efikasna na taj način.
10:05
I hope that remains.
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Nadam se da će to ostati.
10:07
I hope that remains.
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Nadam se da će to ostati.
10:08
I hope the use of the telephone remains.
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Nadam se da će telefoniranje ostati.
10:11
That we don't just go back to texting all the time.
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Da ne moramo baš cijelo vrijeme pisati poruke.
10:15
I hope that putting our phones away and having family dinner remains.
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Nadam se da će ostati obiteljski ručak bez telefona.
10:22
I think there's a lot of kids
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Mislim da će mnogo djece
10:25
that will actually come through this
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koja će proći sve ovo
10:26
with stronger relationships with their siblings if they have them,
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biti povezanije s braćom i sestrama ako ih imaju,
a i bliskije sa svojim roditeljima
10:30
and stronger relationship with their parents
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jer su toliko vremena proveli zajedno.
10:32
because they had so much time together.
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10:34
And kids who may have struggled prior
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A i djeci kojoj je ranije bilo teško
10:36
because they weren't getting the kind of attention they needed
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jer nisu dobivala potrebnu pažnju jer su im roditelji bili prezaposleni.
10:39
because their parents were so busy with work,
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10:41
you know, even if mom or dad are busy on a Zoom call all day,
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Znate, čak ako su mama i tata zauzeti Zoom pozivom cijeli dan,
10:46
that hour that they would ordinarily just go get a cup of coffee or something,
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sat koji obično odvoje za kavu ili slično, mogu posvetiti svom djetetu.
10:50
that they could focus on their kid.
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Mislim da puno djece ima takvu situaciju.
10:52
I think a lot of kids actually will come out of this.
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10:54
And kids are remarkably adaptable.
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A djeca su izvanredno prilagodljiva.
10:56
They're remarkably adaptable.
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Izvanredno prilagodljiva.
10:59
CA: Here’s a question from Mariusz.
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CA: Evo pitanja od Mariusz.
11:01
"Could you give us some tips on how to discover our Why?"
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“Možete li nam dati neki savjet kako otkriti svoje Zašto?”
11:06
SS: Absolutely.
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SS: Apsolutno. Dat ću vam malu vježbu koju možete raditi s prijateljima.
11:07
I'll give you a little exercise that you can do with your friends.
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11:10
It's called the Friends Exercise.
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Zove se vježba za prijatelje.
11:12
Find a friend you love and who loves you.
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Nađite prijatelja kojeg volite i koji voli vas.
11:14
The person who, if they called you at three o'clock in the morning,
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Osobu kojoj bi, kad bi vas zvala u tri ujutro,
odgovorili na poziv, a znate da bi ona to isto učinila za vas.
11:17
you take the call and you know they would do the same for you.
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Ne mislim na brata, sestru ili supružnika. Niti mislim na roditelja.
11:20
Do not do this with a sibling or a spouse.
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11:22
Do not do this with a parent.
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11:24
Those relationships are too close.
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To su prebliske veze.
11:26
Do it with a best friend.
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To je za najboljeg prijatelja.
11:28
And go up to them and ask the simple question,
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Dođite do njega i pitajte jednostavno pitanje,
11:30
"Why are we friends?"
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“Zašto smo mi prijatelji?”
11:32
And they're going to look at you like you're crazy
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Pogledat će vas kao da ste poludjeli jer tražite da riječima izrazi osjećaje.
11:35
because you're asking them to put into words a feeling.
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11:37
You're asking them to use a part of the brain, the neocortex,
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Tražite ga da koristi dio mozga, neokorteks, koji ne kontrolira osjećaje.
11:40
that doesn't control feelings,
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11:42
and to put the thing that exists in the limbic brain into language,
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Tražite da pretoči u jezik nešto što postoji u limbičkom mozgu,
11:45
which it doesn't do.
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što ne ide.
11:47
And so it's actually a very difficult question.
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Pa je to zapravo vrlo teško pitanje.
11:49
They're going to say, "I don't know."
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Reći će vam, “Ne znam.” Nije da ne zna, ne može izraziti riječima.
11:51
It's not that they don't know, it's that they can't put it into words.
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Ironično, prestanete pitati zašto i pitate pitanje sa “što”,
11:54
Ironically, you stop asking the question why
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11:57
and you start asking the question, "what" because "what" is a rational question.
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jer “što” je racionalno pitanje.
“Što to ima u meni da znam da ćeš biti uz mene bez obzira na sve?”
12:00
"What is it about me that I know that you would be there for me
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12:03
no matter what?"
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I neće znati kako na to odgovoriti. Počet će vas opisivati.
12:05
And they won't know how to answer it.
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12:06
They'll start describing you.
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“Ne znam, zabavan si, vjerujem ti. Uvijek si bio uz mene.”
12:08
"I don't know, you're funny, I trust you.
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12:10
You've always been there for me."
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Sad igrate vražjeg odvjetnika: “Dobro. To je definicija prijatelja.
12:12
You play devil's advocate.
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12:13
"Good. That's the definition of a friend.
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“Što to je to točno u meni da znam da ćeš biti uz mene bez obzira na sve?”
12:15
What specifically is it about me
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12:17
that I know you'd be there for me no matter what?"
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A on će i dalje čini isto. Pokušat će vas opisati.
12:19
And they'll continue to do the same.
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12:21
They'll keep trying to describe you. You keep playing devil's advocate.
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I dalje, kao vražji advokat, tražite definiciju. Shvaćate, ne?
12:24
You get the idea.
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Konačno će odustati i početi opisivati sebe.
12:25
Eventually they'll give up and they'll start describing themselves.
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12:30
And they'll say,
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I reći će - to je rekao moj prijatelj kad sam to pitao -
12:31
and this is what my friend said to me when I did it with them,
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“Ne znam, Simon. Ne moram ni pričati s tobom.
12:34
"I don't know, Simon. I don't even have to talk to you.
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Mogu samo sjediti s tobom u istoj sobi i biti inspiriran.”
12:37
I could just sit in the same room as you and I feel inspired."
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I ja sam se naježio, kao upravo sada.
12:40
And I got goosebumps, I'm getting them right now.
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Izrazit će vašu vrijednost u svom životu
12:42
They will articulate the value you have in their life
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12:45
and you will have some sort of emotional response,
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a vi ćete imati neku vrstu emocionalnog odgovora,
12:47
goosebumps or you'll well up,
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naježit ćete se ili raznježiti,
12:49
because what they're telling you is your Why,
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jer to što vam priča je vaše Zašto, to je ono što dajete svijetu.
12:51
your Why is the thing you give to the world.
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Pokušate li to s više prijatelja, reći će nešto slično ili isto,
12:53
You can do this with multiple friends and they will say almost exactly,
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12:57
if not the exact same thing, because that is your Why.
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jer to je vaše Zašto, to dajete svijetu.
12:59
That is the thing you give to the world.
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Možda vam neće dati prave riječi,
13:01
So it may not give you exact language,
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ali će vas ubaciti direktno na teren gdje leži vaš Zašto.
13:03
but it will put you squarely in the ballpark for what your Why is.
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13:06
CA: Here's an anonymous question.
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CA: Evo jednog anonimnog pitanja.
13:08
"I have a friend who is currently struggling with depression,
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“Imam prijatelja koji se upravo bori s depresijom,
13:13
and he's just not like he used to be.
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i nije onakav kakvog ga znam.
13:15
I don't know what to say to him.
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Ne znam što da mu kažem.
13:17
He's actually annoyed by the question, 'How are you doing?'
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Zapravo ga iritira pitanje, ‘Kako ti je?’
13:20
How can I offer my help?"
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Kako mu mogu pomoći?”
13:21
SS: So one of the things I learned by accident a couple of years ago
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SS: Jedna od stvari koje sam slučajno otkrio prije par godina
13:25
is sometimes statements work better than questions.
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je da tvrdnje funkcioniraju bolje od pitanja.
Jer pitanja se mogu izbjeći, ne? To smo svi radili za vrijeme COVID-a.
13:28
Because questions people can avoid, right?
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13:30
This is what we all did during COVID.
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“Kako si?” “Dobro. Dobro.” Svi su dobro, zar ne?
13:32
"How are you?" "Fine. Fine." Everyone's fine, right?
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13:35
And then what do you do with that?
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I što možete s time?
13:37
And so try making a statement, right?
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Pokušajte nešto ustvrditi, može?
13:42
Something's wrong.
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Nešto nije u redu.
13:44
Something's different.
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Nešto je drugačije.
13:46
You're not the same.
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Nisi više isti.
13:48
I'm worried about you.
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Brineš me.
13:50
Make statements.
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Ustvrdite nešto.
13:52
And it leaves very little room
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To ostavlja vrlo malo prostora da čovjek skrene s razgovora.
13:54
for somebody to divert the conversation.
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14:02
You're not the person I know.
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Nisi onakav kakvog te znam.
14:07
And do it with love and empathy and the most important thing,
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I učinite to s ljubavlju i empatijom.
I ono najvažnije, ne pokušavajte riješiti problem.
14:10
don't show up to solve the problem.
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14:13
Especially when you're starting to have a difficult conversation,
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Pogotovo ne ako započinjete težak razgovor.
14:16
you don't show up to solve the problem.
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Ne riješavate problem.
Pokušajte stvoriti atmosferu u kojoj će biti spreman otvoriti se.
14:18
You show up to create an environment
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14:20
in which they'd be willing to open up to you.
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To je jedini cilj.
14:22
That's the only goal.
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14:23
So try a statement instead of a question.
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Pokušajte s tvrdnjom umjesto pitanja.
14:27
CA: So here's the last question, I'm going to ask this for me.
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CA: Evo i zadnjeg pitanja, kojeg ću postaviti za sebe.
14:31
What do you mean, Simon, when you say that everyone is a leader?
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Što misliš, Simon, kad kažeš da je svatko lider?
14:37
SS: Leadership has nothing to do with rank or title.
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SS: Liderstvo nema nikakve veze ni s rangom ni titulom.
14:40
I know many people who sit at the highest levels of organizations
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Znam mnoge na najvišim pozicijama u organizaciji, a nisu lideri.
14:43
who are not leaders.
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14:45
We do as they tell us because they have authority over us,
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Činimo ono što nam kažu jer nad nama imaju autoritet,
14:48
but we don't trust them and we wouldn't follow them.
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ali im ne vjerujemo i ne bismo ih slijedili.
14:50
And yet I also know many people who sit at very low levels of organizations
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A opet znam mnogo ljudi na niskim pozicijama organizacija
14:54
that have no formal rank and no formal authority,
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bez formalnog ranga i autoriteta, a koji su izabrali
14:56
and yet they've made the choice
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brinuti se za osobu i s lijeva i s desna
14:58
to look after the person to the left of them
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15:00
and the person to the right of them,
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i njima bismo vjerovali i slijedili ih bilo kuda.
15:02
and we would trust them and follow them anywhere.
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Liderstvo je odgovornost, briga da oni oko nas napreduju.
15:04
Leadership is the responsibility to see those around us rise.
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Odgovornost da brinemo za one oko nas. To je liderstvo.
15:07
It's the responsibility to take care of those around us.
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Ne radi se o nadležnosti.
15:10
That's what leadership is.
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15:11
It's not about being in charge.
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Radi se o brizi za one za koje smo nadležni.
15:13
It's about taking care of those in our charge.
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Jedino što vam titula i autoritet mogu omogućiti
15:15
And the only thing title and authority allow you to do
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15:17
is lead with greater scale.
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je da vodite u širem opsegu.
15:19
Every single one of us has the opportunity to be the leader we wish we had.
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Svatko od nas ima priliku biti onaj lider kojeg smo željeli imati.
15:23
Every single one of us.
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Baš svatko od nas.
15:25
CA: Simon, thank you so much for spending this time with us.
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CA: Simon, puno ti hvala što si ovo vrijeme proveo s nama.
15:28
SS: Thanks, Chris. I really appreciate it.
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SS: Hvala Chris. Bilo mi je drago. Čuvajte se, brinite jedni o drugima.
15:30
Take care of yourself. Take care of each other.
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[Ne propustite pristup događanjima koji potiču na razmišljanje.
15:32
[Get access to thought-provoking events you won't want to miss.
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15:35
Become a TED member at ted.com/membership.]
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