Christine Carter: The 1-minute secret to forming a new habit | TED

199,537 views ・ 2021-01-26

TED


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Transcriber: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Camille Martínez
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I don't know about you,
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but when our family got the stay-at-home order in March of 2020,
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I came out of the gates pretty darn hot.
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"Embrace not being so busy," I wrote.
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"Take this time at home to get into a new happiness habit."
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That seems hilarious to me now.
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My pre-coronavirus routines fell apart hard and fast.
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Some days I would realize at dinnertime
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that not only had I not showered or gotten dressed that day,
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but I hadn't even brushed my teeth.
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Even though I have coached people for a very long time
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in an effective, science-based method of habit formation,
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I struggled.
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Truth be told, for the first few months of the pandemic,
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I more or less refused to follow my own best advice.
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This is because I love to set ambitious goals.
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Getting into a good little habit
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is just so much less exciting to me
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than embracing a big, juicy, audacious goal.
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Take exercise, for example.
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When the coronavirus hit,
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I optimistically embraced the idea
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that I could get back into running outside.
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I picked a half-marathon to train for
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and spent a week or so meticulously devising
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a very detailed training plan.
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But then I actually only stuck to my ambitious training schedule
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for a few weeks.
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All that planning and preparation
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led only to a spectacular failure to exercise.
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I skipped my training runs,
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despite feeling like the importance of exercise
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and the good health that it brings
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has never been more bracingly clear.
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The truth is that our ability to follow through on our best intentions,
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to get into a new habit like exercise
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or to change our behavior in any way, really,
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doesn't actually depend on the reasons we might do it
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or on the depth of our convictions that we should do so.
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It doesn't depend on our understanding of the benefits
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of our particular behavior
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or even on the strength of our willpower.
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It depends on our willingness to be bad at our desired behavior.
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And I hate being bad at stuff.
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I am a go-big-or-go-home kind of a gal.
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I like being good at things,
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and I quit exercising
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because I wasn't willing to be bad at it.
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Here's why we need to be willing to be bad:
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being good requires that our effort and our motivation
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be in proportion to each other.
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The harder something is for us to do,
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the more motivation we need to do that thing.
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And you might have noticed,
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but motivation isn't something that we can always muster on command.
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Whether we like it or not,
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motivation comes and motivation goes.
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When motivation wanes,
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plenty of research shows that we human beings
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tend to follow the law of the least effort,
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meaning we just do the easiest thing.
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New behaviors tend to require a lot of effort,
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because change is really hard.
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To establish an exercise routine,
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I needed to let myself be kind of half-assed about it.
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I needed to stop trying to be an actual athlete.
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I started exercising again
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by running for only one minute at a time.
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Every morning, after I brushed my teeth,
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I'd change out of my pajamas and walk out the door,
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my only goal, to run for one full minute.
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These days, usually I actually do run for 15 or 20 minutes,
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but on the days that I'm totally lacking in motivation
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or I just feel like I have no time,
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I still do that one minute.
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And this minimal effort always turns out to be way better than if I did nothing.
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Maybe you relate.
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Maybe you've also failed
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in one of your attempts to change yourself for the better.
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Perhaps you want to use less plastic
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or meditate more
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or be a better anti-racist.
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Maybe you want to write a book
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or eat more leafy greens.
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I have great news for you.
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You can do and be those things,
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starting right now.
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The only requirement is that you stop trying to be so good.
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You'll need to abandon your grand plans,
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at least temporarily.
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You'll need to consider doing something so minuscule
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that it would be better than not doing anything at all.
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So right now, ask yourself:
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How you can strip that thing that you have been meaning to do
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into something so easy you could do it every day with barely a thought?
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It might be eating one piece of lettuce on your sandwich at lunch
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or going for a one-minute walk outside.
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Don't worry -- you'll get to do more.
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This better-than-nothing behavior is not your ultimate goal.
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But for now, what could you do that is ridiculous easy
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that you can do even when nothing is going as planned?
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Even though you ultimately might want to do more and be more,
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remember that we humans are often too tired
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and too stressed
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and too distracted
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to do the things that we really do intend to do
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and to be the people that we most intend to be.
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On those days,
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our wildly ambitious behaviors really are better than nothing.
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A one-minute meditation is relaxing and restful.
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A single leaf of romaine lettuce happens to have a half a gram of fiber
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and loads of nutrients.
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A one-minute walk gets us outside and moving around,
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which our bodies really need.
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So try doing one better-than-nothing behavior.
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See how it goes.
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The goal, remember, is repetition,
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not high achievement.
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So let yourself be mediocre at whatever you're trying to do,
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but be mediocre every day.
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Take only one step,
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but take that step every day.
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If your better-than-nothing habit
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doesn't actually seem better than doing nothing,
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consider that you're getting started at something
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and that initiating a behavior is often the hardest part.
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By getting started,
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we're establishing the neural pathway in our brain
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for a new habit,
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which makes it much more likely that we'll succeed with something
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more ambitious down the line.
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Why is this?
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Well, it's because once we hard wire a habit into our brains,
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we can do it without thinking,
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and therefore without needing much willpower or effort.
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A better-than-nothing habit
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turns out to be incredibly easy to repeat again and again
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until it's on autopilot.
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This is because we can do it even if we aren't motivated,
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even if we're tired,
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even if we have no time whatsoever.
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And once we start acting on autopilot,
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that's the golden moment
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that our habit can begin to expand organically.
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After only a few days of running for just one minute,
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I started feeling a real desire to keep on running,
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not because I felt like I should be exercising more,
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or because I felt like I needed to impress my neighbors or something,
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but because it felt more natural to keep running
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than it felt to stop.
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Now, I of all people know that it can be incredibly tempting,
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especially for the overachievers among us --
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you know who you are --
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to encourage ourselves to do more
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than our designated better-than-nothing habit.
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So I must warn you:
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the moment in which you are no longer willing to do something unambitious
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is the moment in which you are risking everything.
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It's the moment you end up checking your phone
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instead of whatever it is that you intended to do.
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It's the moment in which you stay on the couch
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binge-watching TikTok videos or Netflix.
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The moment you think you "should" do more
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is the moment you introduce difficulty and force
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and negotiation with yourself.
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It's the moment you eliminate the possibility that it will be easy
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and even enjoyable.
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So that's also the moment
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that will require a lot more motivation,
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and if the motivation isn't there,
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failure will be.
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Fortunately, the whole idea behind the better-than-nothing habit
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is that it doesn't depend on motivation,
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which we may or may not muster.
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It's not reliant on having a lot of energy.
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You do not have to be good at this.
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You need only to be willing
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to do something that is wildly unambitious,
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to do something that is just a smidge better than nothing.
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But again, don't do more if you feel any form of resistance.
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I'm happy to report that after months of struggle,
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I am now a runner.
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I became one simply by allowing myself to be bad at it.
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You definitely could not call me an athlete;
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there are no half-marathons in my future.
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But I am consistent.
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To paraphrase the Dalai Lama,
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the goal is not to be better than other people
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but rather to be better than our previous selves.
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And that, I definitely am.
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When we abandon our grand plans and great ambitions
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in favor of taking that first step,
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we shift.
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And paradoxically,
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it's only in that tiny shift
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that our grand plans and great ambitions
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are truly born.
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Thank you.
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