How to be Polite in English - | Top Tips for Language Learners!

48,912 views ใƒป 2021-09-27

BBC Learning English


ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุฃุฏู†ุงู‡ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุชุชู… ุชุฑุฌู…ุชู‡ุง ุขู„ูŠู‹ุง.

00:07
I don't know about you, but I don't like it when people are rude.
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ุฃู†ุง ู„ุง ุฃุนุฑู ุนู†ูƒ ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃุญุจ ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูุธูŠู†.
00:11
Politeness is generally very important,
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ุงู„ุชุฃุฏุจ ู…ู‡ู… ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุจุดูƒู„ ุนุงู… ุŒ
00:13
especially if you want people to help you with something.
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ุฎุงุตุฉ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ูŠุณุงุนุฏูƒ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ููŠ ุดูŠุก ู…ุง.
00:17
If you want someone to do something for you, there are different ways of
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ูŠูุนู„ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ูƒ ุŒ ูู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุทุฑู‚ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ
00:20
expressing it in English, depending on how polite you want to be.
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ู„ู„ุชุนุจูŠุฑ ุนู†ู‡ ุจุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุŒ ุงุนุชู…ุงุฏู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุฏู‰ ุงู„ู„ุทู ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุฑูŠุฏู‡.
00:27
If I say:
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ุฅุฐุง ู‚ู„ุช:
00:28
"Open the window!"
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"ุงูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ!"
00:30
ย  it's quite direct, isn't it?
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู…ุจุงุดุฑ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
00:32
It's the imperative form, which is more or less an order.
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ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุตูŠุบุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุŒ ูˆู‡ูŠ ุฃู…ุฑ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฃูˆ ุฃู‚ู„.
00:36
"Open the window, please!"
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"ุงูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู„ูˆ ุณู…ุญุช!" ุฅู†
00:38
Adding the word 'please' does make it more polite,
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ุฅุถุงูุฉ ูƒู„ู…ุฉ "ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒ" ุชุฌุนู„ู‡ุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจู‹ุง ุŒ
00:40
but it's still quite direct.
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ุง ู„ุง ุชุฒุงู„ ู…ุจุงุดุฑุฉ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง.
00:42
ย  "Can you open the window, please?"
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"ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงุกุŸ"
00:45
Now we are getting more polite, but why is this more polite?
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ุงู„ุขู† ุฃุตุจุญู†ุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจุงู‹ ุŒ ู„ูƒู† ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ู‡ุฐุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจุงู‹ุŸ
00:50
Well, one reason is because this is now a question.
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ุฃุณุจุงุจ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุณุคุงู„ ุงู„ุขู†.
00:54
So it's more of a request than an order.
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ู„ุฐุง ูู‡ูˆ ุทู„ุจ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู†ู‡ ุทู„ุจ.
00:57
And because it's a question, it's easier to say no.
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ูˆู„ุฃู†ู‡ ุณุคุงู„ ุŒ ูู…ู† ุงู„ุณู‡ู„ ุฃู† ุชุฑูุถ.
01:03
Let's now use could instead of can.
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ุฏุนู†ุง ุงู„ุขู† ู†ุณุชุฎุฏู… can ุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† can.
01:06
"Could you open the window, please?"
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู† ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒุŸ"
01:09
Could is more polite than can
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจู‹ุง ู…ู…ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†
01:11
and this is where it begins to get interesting.
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ุŒ ูˆู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุจุฏุฃ ููŠู‡ ุงู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู….
01:15
Why is:
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ู„ู…ุงุฐุง:
01:16
'Could you open the window, please?'
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒุŸ"
01:18
more polite than:
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ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจู‹ุง ู…ู†:
01:19
'Can you open the window, please?'
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒุŸ"
01:21
Well, it's all to do with the relationship
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ ุจุงู„ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ
01:24
between can and could and the idea of distance, of remoteness.
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ุจูŠู† ู…ุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ูˆู…ุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ูˆููƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ูˆุงู„ุจุนุฏ.
01:30
'Could' can be described as the remote form of 'can'.
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ูˆุตู "ูŠู…ูƒู†" ุจุงู„ุดูƒู„ ุงู„ุจุนูŠุฏ ู„ู€ "can".
01:34
Sometimes that distance is time.
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ุฃุญูŠุงู†ู‹ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช.
01:37
"I can swim."
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"ุงุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู† ุงุณุจุญ."
01:38
That's an ability I have now.
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‚ุฏุฑุฉ ู„ุฏูŠ ุงู„ุขู†.
01:41
"I could swim when I was four."
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"ูƒุงู† ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ุณุจุงุญุฉ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ููŠ ุงู„ุฑุงุจุนุฉ ู…ู† ุนู…ุฑูŠ".
01:43
That's an ability I had at a time in the past.
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‚ุฏุฑุฉ ูƒุงู†ุช ู„ุฏูŠ ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุง ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุงุถูŠ.
01:48
Sometimes that distance is between what is real and what is imagined.
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ููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ุจูŠู† ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ ูˆู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ุชุฎูŠู„.
01:54
"I can't do that in my head."
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"ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ุฑุฃุณูŠ."
01:56
ย  This is something that is not possible for me to do now.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุดูŠุก ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ุงู„ุขู†.
02:00
"I couldn't do that even if I had a calculator."
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"ู„ู… ุฃุณุชุทุน ูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ุญุชู‰ ู„ูˆ ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠ ุขู„ุฉ ุญุงุณุจุฉ."
02:04
This is something that's not possible for me to do,
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ู‡ุฐุง ุดูŠุก ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ุŒ
02:06
even in an imagined situation where I have a calculator.
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ุญุชู‰ ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ู…ุชุฎูŠู„ุฉ ุญูŠุซ ู„ุฏูŠ ุขู„ุฉ ุญุงุณุจุฉ.
02:11
And sometimes distance is in relationship.
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ูˆุฃุญูŠุงู†ู‹ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ููŠ ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ.
02:15
"Can you open the window, please?"
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"ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงุกุŸ"
02:17
ย  "Could you open the window, please?"
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู† ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒุŸ"
02:19
Could puts more social distance between speaker and listener.
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠุถุน ู…ุณุงูุฉ ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠุฉ ุฃูƒุจุฑ ุจูŠู† ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซ ูˆุงู„ู…ุณุชู…ุน.
02:24
That makes it more polite as it's less uncomfortable for someone to say no.
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ู‡ุฐุง ูŠุฌุนู„ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจู‹ุง ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ูŠุณ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฑูŠุญ ุฃู† ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ู„ุง.
02:30
Now, we're not talking about actual distance here.
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ุงู„ุขู† ุŒ ู†ุญู† ู„ุง ู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ุงู„ูุนู„ูŠุฉ ู‡ู†ุง.
02:34
We're not saying you have to be physically further away to be polite,
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ู†ุญู† ู„ุง ู†ู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†ู‡ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุจุนูŠุฏู‹ุง ุฌุณุฏูŠู‹ุง ู„ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ู‡ุฐุจู‹ุง ุŒ
02:38
but it is a good way to visualise it. The further the speaker is away,
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ุง ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุตูˆุฑ ุฐู„ูƒ. ูƒู„ู…ุง ุงุจุชุนุฏ ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซ ุŒ ูƒุงู† ู…ู†
02:43
the easier it is to say no and 'could' puts you further away.
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ุงู„ุฃุณู‡ู„ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ู„ุง ูˆ " ูŠู…ูƒู†" ุฃู† ุชุถุนูƒ ุจุนูŠุฏู‹ุง.
02:50
Open the window!
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ุงูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ!
02:52
ย  Open the window, please!
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ุงูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู„ูˆ ุณู…ุญุช!
02:54
Can you open the window, please?
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ุงู„ุฑุฌุงุกุŸ
02:57
Could you open the window, please?
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ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู† ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒุŸ
02:59
And in English, we can make that distance even further too
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ูˆููŠ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ุฌุนู„ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุณุงูุฉ ุฃุจุนุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง
03:04
using past forms and modal structures.
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ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ุงู„ู†ู…ุงุฐุฌ ูˆุงู„ู‡ูŠุงูƒู„ ุงู„ู†ู…ุทูŠุฉ ุงู„ุณุงุจู‚ุฉ.
03:08
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind opening the window
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ูƒู†ุช ุฃุชุณุงุกู„ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู„ุง ุชู…ุงู†ุน ููŠ ูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ
03:10
if it's not too much trouble.
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ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุชุงุนุจ.
03:13
For a simple request like opening a window,
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ู„ุทู„ุจ ุจุณูŠุท ู…ุซู„ ูุชุญ ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ุŒ ู…ู†
03:15
that one is probably a bit over the top.
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ุงู„ู…ุญุชู…ู„ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุทู„ุจ ุฃุนู„ู‰ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹.
03:23
One very important thing to remember, perhaps more important
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ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ุงู„ู…ู‡ู…ุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุฌุจ ุชุฐูƒุฑู‡ุง ุŒ ูˆุงู„ุชูŠ ุฑุจู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฃู‡ู…ูŠุฉ
03:26
than the words themselves, is the way they are spoken.
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ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุงุช ู†ูุณู‡ุง ุŒ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ู†ุทู‚ู‡ุง ุจู‡ุง.
03:30
It's only polite if the tone of voice is polite.
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู…ู‡ุฐุจ ูู‚ุท ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ุช ู†ุจุฑุฉ ุงู„ุตูˆุช ู…ู‡ุฐุจุฉ.
03:34
You can make a polite form of words less polite
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฌุนู„ ุตูŠุบุฉ ุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุงุช ู…ู‡ุฐุจุฉ ุฃู‚ู„ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจู‹ุง
03:37
if you stress it in a different way. For example:
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ุฅุฐุง ุดุฏุฏุช ุนู„ูŠู‡ุง ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ. ุนู„ู‰ ุณุจูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„:
03:41
"Can you open the window?"
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉุŸ"
03:42
"Could you please open the window?"
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูุชุญ ุงู„ู†ุงูุฐุฉ ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒุŸ"
03:45
So sounding polite is a combination of words and the way you say them
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ู„ุฐุง ูุฅู† ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุจุฃุฏุจ ู‡ูˆ ู…ุฒูŠุฌ ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุงุช ูˆุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู‚ูˆู„ู‡ุง ุจู‡ุง
03:51
and when it comes to words,
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุจุงู„ูƒู„ู…ุงุช ุŒ ูุฅู†
03:53
'could you' is more polite than 'can you'
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"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ" ู‡ูˆ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจุงู‹ ู…ู† "ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ"
03:56
and longer phrases with past forms and modals are more polite still.
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ูˆุงู„ุนุจุงุฑุงุช ุงู„ุฃุทูˆู„ ุฐุงุช ุงู„ุฃุดูƒุงู„ ูˆุงู„ู†ู…ุงุฐุฌ ุงู„ุณุงุจู‚ุฉ ู„ุง ุชุฒุงู„ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‡ุฐูŠุจุงู‹.
ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน

ุณูŠู‚ุฏู… ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ YouTube ุงู„ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ. ุณุชุฑู‰ ุฏุฑูˆุณ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุชุฏุฑูŠุณู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุฏุฑุณูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ู…ู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…. ุงู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆุถุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒู„ ุตูุญุฉ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ. ูŠุชู… ุชู…ุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุงุช ุจุงู„ุชุฒุงู…ู† ู…ุน ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุทู„ุจุงุช ุŒ ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู†ุง ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง.

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