How to be Polite in English - | Top Tips for Language Learners!

47,532 views ・ 2021-09-27

BBC Learning English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:07
I don't know about you, but I don't like it when people are rude.
0
7920
3320
00:11
Politeness is generally very important,
1
11240
2440
00:13
especially if you want people to help you with something.
2
13680
3320
00:17
If you want someone to do something for you, there are different ways of
3
17000
3320
00:20
expressing it in English, depending on how polite you want to be.
4
20320
3760
00:27
If I say:
5
27280
1080
00:28
"Open the window!"
6
28360
1760
00:30
  it's quite direct, isn't it?
7
30240
2600
00:32
It's the imperative form, which is more or less an order.
8
32840
2880
00:36
"Open the window, please!"
9
36280
1840
00:38
Adding the word 'please' does make it more polite,
10
38280
2560
00:40
but it's still quite direct.
11
40840
1800
00:42
  "Can you open the window, please?"
12
42640
2440
00:45
Now we are getting more polite, but why is this more polite?
13
45080
5760
00:50
Well, one reason is because this is now a question.
14
50840
3840
00:54
So it's more of a request than an order.
15
54680
3120
00:57
And because it's a question, it's easier to say no.
16
57800
3280
01:03
Let's now use could instead of can.
17
63720
3160
01:06
"Could you open the window, please?"
18
66880
2600
01:09
Could is more polite than can
19
69480
2320
01:11
and this is where it begins to get interesting.
20
71800
3440
01:15
Why is:
21
75240
760
01:16
'Could you open the window, please?'
22
76000
2240
01:18
more polite than:
23
78240
1120
01:19
'Can you open the window, please?'
24
79360
1880
01:21
Well, it's all to do with the relationship
25
81240
2920
01:24
between can and could and the idea of distance, of remoteness.
26
84160
5840
01:30
'Could' can be described as the remote form of 'can'.
27
90000
4200
01:34
Sometimes that distance is time.
28
94200
3440
01:37
"I can swim."
29
97640
1240
01:38
That's an ability I have now.
30
98880
2440
01:41
"I could swim when I was four."
31
101320
2640
01:43
That's an ability I had at a time in the past.
32
103960
4320
01:48
Sometimes that distance is between what is real and what is imagined.
33
108280
4600
01:54
"I can't do that in my head."
34
114040
2080
01:56
  This is something that is not possible for me to do now.
35
116120
4000
02:00
"I couldn't do that even if I had a calculator."
36
120120
3880
02:04
This is something that's not possible for me to do,
37
124000
2640
02:06
even in an imagined situation where I have a calculator.
38
126640
4680
02:11
And sometimes distance is in relationship.
39
131320
3040
02:15
"Can you open the window, please?"
40
135360
2280
02:17
  "Could you open the window, please?"
41
137640
2280
02:19
Could puts more social distance between speaker and listener.
42
139920
4840
02:24
That makes it more polite as it's less uncomfortable for someone to say no.
43
144760
4720
02:30
Now, we're not talking about actual distance here.
44
150600
3520
02:34
We're not saying you have to be physically further away to be polite,
45
154120
4440
02:38
but it is a good way to visualise it. The further the speaker is away,
46
158560
5040
02:43
the easier it is to say no and 'could' puts you further away.
47
163600
4640
02:50
Open the window!
48
170720
1800
02:52
  Open the window, please!
49
172520
2400
02:54
Can you open the window, please?
50
174920
2440
02:57
Could you open the window, please?
51
177360
2440
02:59
And in English, we can make that distance even further too
52
179800
4800
03:04
using past forms and modal structures.
53
184600
1960
03:08
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind opening the window
54
188200
2600
03:10
if it's not too much trouble.
55
190800
2480
03:13
For a simple request like opening a window,
56
193280
2480
03:15
that one is probably a bit over the top.
57
195760
3000
03:23
One very important thing to remember, perhaps more important
58
203280
3520
03:26
than the words themselves, is the way they are spoken.
59
206800
3760
03:30
It's only polite if the tone of voice is polite.
60
210560
3680
03:34
You can make a polite form of words less polite
61
214240
3400
03:37
if you stress it in a different way. For example:
62
217640
3360
03:41
"Can you open the window?"
63
221000
1520
03:42
"Could you please open the window?"
64
222520
3200
03:45
So sounding polite is a combination of words and the way you say them
65
225720
5520
03:51
and when it comes to words,
66
231240
1760
03:53
'could you' is more polite than 'can you'
67
233000
3200
03:56
and longer phrases with past forms and modals are more polite still.
68
236200
4800
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7