3 lessons on starting a movement from a self-defense trailblazer | Rana Abdelhamid

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz

譯者: Roland Li 審譯者: Bruce Sung

So my story starts on July 4, 1992,

我的經歷要從 1992 年 7 月 4 日說起。

the day my mother followed her college sweetheart

我媽媽在那天跟隨她的大學男友

to New York City from Egypt.

從埃及來到紐約。

As fireworks exploded behind the skyline,

那天煙火璀璨。

my father looked at my mother jokingly and said,

我爸看著我媽，笑道：

"Look, habibti,

「寶貝，你看，

Americans are celebrating your arrival."

舉國都在慶賀你到來呢。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Unfortunately, it didn't feel much like a celebration

可惜，後來一些經歷 卻不怎麼像為我們慶祝。

when, growing up, my mother and I would wander past Queens

小時候，我會跟我媽媽穿過皇后區，

into New York City streets,

到紐約街頭。

and my mother with her hijab and long flowy dresses

我媽媽戴著希賈布，穿上飄逸長裙。

would tighten her hand around my small fingers

她會緊抓我的小手，

as she stood up against weathered comments like,

抵抗著那些不堪的閒話，例如

"Go back to where you came from,"

「滾回你的國家吧。」

"Learn English,"

「學英語。」

"Stupid immigrant."

「愚蠢的外來人口。」

These words were meant to make us feel unsafe, insecure

這些話是要讓我們在自己住的地方，

in our own neighborhoods, in our own skin.

因著自己的膚色而感到惶恐不安。

But it was these same streets

但正正是這些街道，

that made me fall in love with New York.

讓我愛上紐約。

Queens is one of the most diverse places in the world,

皇后區是全球最多元化的地方之一。

with immigrant parents holding stories that always start

移民過來的父母最初的 經歷都是大同小異，

with something between three and 15 dollars in a pocket,

手上只有 3 到 15 塊美元，

a voyage across a vast sea

越洋而來，

and a cash-only hustle

為現金打拼，

sheltering families in jam-packed, busted apartments.

全家容身在擁擠的破爛蝸居。

And it was these same families

也正是這些家庭

that worked so hard to make sure that we had safe microcommunities --

竭盡所有來確保我們可以有 一個安全的微小社群，

we, as immigrant children,

確保我們這群移民孩子

to feel affirmed and loved in our identities.

能因著自己的身份而自豪和被愛。

But it was mostly the women.

婦女的付出特別多。

And these women are the reason why,

也是因為這群女性，

regardless of these statements that my mom faced,

就算我媽媽要受盡那些閒言閒語，

she remained unapologetic.

她依然毫不歉疚。

And these women were some of the most powerful women

我一生裡遇過一些非常厲害的女性，

I have ever met in my entire life.

她們是其中之一。

I mean, they had networks for everything.

生活上的一切所需， 她們都有相應的網絡。

They had rotations for who watched whose kids when,

她們會定好輪流在不同 時段託管鄰家的孩子，

for saving extra cash,

輪流存好有餘的錢，

for throwing belly dance parties

輪流辦肚皮舞派對，

and memorizing Koran and learning English.

輪流背誦可蘭經和學習英文。

And they would collect small gold tokens

她們還會收集小小的金籌碼

to fundraise for the local mosque.

來為當地的清真寺募款。

And it was these same women,

正正是這群女性，

when I decided to wear my hijab,

在我決定披上希賈布的時候，

who supported me through it.

一直支持我到底。

And when I was bullied for being Muslim,

當我因為是回教徒而被霸凌，

I always felt like I had an army of unapologetic North African aunties

我總是覺得自己有一隊 無所歉疚的北非阿姨，

who had my back.

為我護航。

And so every morning at 15,

所以我 15 歲的時候，

I would wake up and stand in front of a mirror,

當我早上起床，我會站在鏡子面前，

and wrap beautiful bright silk around my head

把光亮美麗的絲綢包著我的頭，

the way my mother does and my grandmother did.

做法跟我媽媽和我祖母的一樣。

And one day that summer 2009,

在 2009 年夏天裡，有一天，

I stepped out into the streets of New York City

我踏上紐約市街頭，

on my way to volunteer at a domestic violence organization

前往家暴防治組織做志工。

that a woman in my neighborhood had started.

那個組織是我的 一個女鄰居所創立的。

And I remember at that moment I felt a yank at the back of my head.

我記得當時我感到 後腦被人猛地一拉，

Then someone pulled and grabbed me,

然後有人拉我，捉著我，

trying to remove my hijab from off of my head.

嘗試脫掉我頭上的希賈布。

I turned around to a tall, broad-shouldered man,

我轉過頭，看到一個高大的壯漢。

pure hate in his eyes.

他雙眼只有仇恨。

I struggled and fought back,

我掙扎並還擊，

and finally was able to get away,

終於能逃掉，

hid myself in the bathroom of that organization and cried and cried.

我躲在家暴組織的廁所哭了好久。

I kept thinking to myself,

我不斷在想：

"Why does he hate me?

「他幹嘛恨我？

He doesn't even know me."

他根本不知道我是誰。」

Hate crimes against Muslims in the US

在美國，仇恨回教徒所造成的罪案

increased by 1,600 percent post-9/11,

自 9·11 事件後便上升了 1600%，

and one in every four women in the US

每四位美國女人，

will suffer some form of gender violence.

就有一位遭遇不同程度的性別暴力。

And it may not seem like it,

而儘管看起來，

but Islamophobia and anti-Muslim violence

伊斯蘭恐懼症和以暴力反回教徒

is a form of gender violence,

不算性別暴力，但它們確實是。

given the visibility of Muslim women in our hijabs.

因為穿希賈布的女回教徒 是顯然而見的目標。

And so I was not alone,

所以問題並不只發生我身上。

and that horrified me.

這讓我十分恐懼，

It made me want to do something.

也讓我想要做點甚麼。

It made me want to go out there and make sure that no one I loved,

讓我想要挺身而出， 保證我所愛的人，

that no woman would have to feel this insecure in her own skin.

還有其他女性也不需要 因著膚色而感到不安。

So I started to think about how the women in my own neighborhood

我開始想我社區內的婦女

were able to build community for themselves,

是怎樣能夠建立自己的群體，

and how they were able to use the very little resources they had

她們又如何運用所擁有的小小資源

to actually offer something.

作一點貢獻。

And I began to think about what I could potentially offer

我開始想我可以付出甚麼

to build safety and power for women.

來幫助女性自強和讓她們更安全。

And through this journey,

過程中，

I learned a couple of things,

我學會了幾件事。

and this is what I want to share with you today, some of these lessons.

而今天我正正希望向大家 分享一下我學會的幾點。

So lesson number one:

第一點：

start with what you know.

從你懂的事情開始。

At the time, I had been doing Shotokan karate

當時，我一直有修練松濤館空手道，

for as long as I could remember,

從我有印象以來都在練，

and so I had a black belt.

所以我已經拿了黑帶。

Yeah. And so, I thought -- surprise.

對了。所以我想——意外吧。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I thought that maybe I should go out into my neighborhood

我想也許我應該到社區裡，

and teach self-defense to young girls.

教年輕的女生防身術。

And so I actually went out and knocked on doors,

然後我就坐言起行，到鄰家叩門，

spoke to community leaders, to parents, to young women,

又跟社區領導、 家長和年青女性說了。

and finally was able to secure a free community center basement

最後我終於成功預留了 一個免費的社區中心地下室，

and convince enough young women that they should come to my class.

並游說了足夠的女性來上我的課。

And it actually all worked out,

一切就真的成事了。

because when I pitched the idea,

因為當我推銷我的構思的時候，

most of the responses were, like,

大多數的回應都是：

"All right, cute,

「真有趣，

this 5'1" hijabi girl who knows karate.

這個才一米五， 又戴頭巾的少女會空手道，

How nice."

帥喔。」

But in reality, I became the Queens, New York version of Mr. Miyagi

但現實是，我成為了 紐約皇后區的空手道大師，

at 16 years old,

而當時我只有 16 歲，

and I started teaching 13 young women in that community center basement

我開始在社區中心的 地下室裡向 13 個年青女性

self-defense.

教授防身術。

And with every single self-defense move,

隨著大家學會每個防身招數，

for eight sessions over the course of that summer,

經過橫跨整個夏天的 8 節課，

we began to understand the power of our bodies,

我們學會了自己身體的威力。

and we began to share our experiences

我們也開始分享每個人的身分

about our identities.

所帶來的經歷。

And sometimes there were shocking realizations,

有時會有些令人震驚的發現，

and other times there were tears,

有時我們會掉淚，

but mostly it was laughs.

但大部分時間都是滿載笑聲。

And I ended that summer with this incredible sisterhood,

那年夏天完結時， 我就有了一群很棒的姐妹。

and I began to feel much safer in my own skin.

我開始感到舒泰自在多了。

And it was because of these women that we just kept teaching.

一切歸功於這些女性， 我們不斷教導她們。

I never thought that I would continue, but we just kept teaching.

我本來沒有打算繼續 教下去，但我們沒停步。

And today, nine years, 17 cities,

到了今天，我們己經教了 9 年， 去過 17 個城市，

12 countries, 760 courses

遍及 12 個國家， 開辦過 760 個課程，

and thousands of women and girls later,

數以千計的女性受惠，

I'm still teaching.

我還在繼續開班授徒。

And what started as a self-defense course

一開始這只是一個防身術課程，

in the basement of a community center

地點不過是社區中心的地下室，

is now an international grassroots organization

但現在它已經是一個國際草根機構，

focused on building safety and power for women around the world:

致力於幫助天下的女性自強 和為她們帶來安全：

Malikah.

這機構叫馬利卡（Malikah）。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Now, for lesson number two:

現在，來到第二點：

start with who you know.

從你認識的人開始。

Oftentimes, it could be quite exciting,

開展社運常常讓人很興奮，

especially if you're an expert in something

特別是如果你本來就有一項專長，

and you want to have impact,

而且你希望影響他人，

to swoop into a community and think you have the magic recipe.

你相信自己知道融入社區的訣竅， 就更讓人興奮。

But very early on I learned

但我早就明白一個道理。

that, as esteemed philosopher Kendrick Lamar once said,

正如被受尊崇的「哲學家」 肯德里克·拉馬爾曾經講過：

it's really important to be humble and to sit down.

「謙虛和坐下十分重要。」

So, basically, at 15 years old,

所以我 15 歲的時候，

the only community that I had any business doing work with

和我唯一有關的社區，

were the 14-year-old girls in my neighborhood,

基本上就是我區內 那些 14 歲的女生，

and that's because I was friends with them.

因為她們是我的朋友。

Other than that, I didn't know what it meant to be a child

而且「住在布魯克林的 孟加拉裔孩子」

of Bengali immigrants in Brooklyn

或「住在布朗克斯的塞內加爾人」

or to be Senegalese in the Bronx.

當時的我不懂這些身份的含義。

But I did know young women who were connected to those communities,

但我確實認識 一些與這些社區有關的少女，

and it was quite remarkable how they already had

值得注意的，是她們雖然年紀小，

these layers of trust and awareness and relationship with their communities.

卻己經與社區建立這麼深厚的 信心、認知和關係。

So like my mother and the women in her neighborhood,

像我媽媽和在鄰里的婦女一樣，

they had these really strong social networks,

她們有著堅實的社交網絡。

and it was about providing capacity

重點是助人自強，

and believing in other women's definition of safety.

和相信其他女性對自身安全的定義。

Even though I was a self-defense instructor,

雖然我是防身術老師，

I couldn't come into a community

但我不能貿貿然到一個社區，

and define safety for any other woman

為其他女性界定安全的定義，

who was not part of my own community.

因為她們不屬於我的社區。

And it was because, as our network expanded,

也因為隨著我們的網絡擴大，

I learned that self-defense is not just physical.

我明白了防身不只 限於身體上的保障，

It's actually really emotional work.

它其實是一種情緒上的功夫。

I mean, we would do a 60-minute self-defense class,

我們上完 60 分鐘的防身術課後，

and then we'd have 30 minutes reserved for just talking and healing.

會預留 30 分鐘讓大家 暢所欲言，療癒傷痛。

And in those 30 minutes,

在這 30 分鐘內，

women would share what brought them to the class to begin with

女性會分享她們來上課的原因，

but also various other experiences with violence.

也會講講她們遭受暴力的經歷。

And, as an example, one time in one of those classes,

例如有一次在課上，

one woman actually started to talk about the fact

有一個婦女還真的開始講述

that she had been in a domestic violence relationship for over 30 years,

自己曾經被伴侶家暴長達 30 年，

and it was her first time being able to articulate that

而那是她第一次把這個遭遇說出口，

because we had established that safe space for her.

因為我們讓她感到安全。

So it's powerful work,

要有強大效果，

but it only happens when we believe in women's agency to define

就必須先相信女性有能力

what safety and what power looks like for themselves.

去定義安全和力量 對她們來說的意思。

All right, for lesson number three --

好吧，來到第三點，

and this was the hardest thing for me --

這也是我覺得最難的，

the most important thing about this work is to start with the joy.

辦社運最重要的就是 懷著歡樂的心開始。

When I started doing this work, I was reacting to a hate-based attack,

我開展這項工作， 是想回應自己因仇恨遭遇的攻擊。

so I was feeling insecure and anxious and overwhelmed.

我當時感到不安焦慮，招架不住。

I was really afraid.

我很害怕。

And it makes sense, because if you take a step back,

這也合理啊，如果你可以退一步想，

and I can imagine that a lot of women in this room can probably relate to this,

我相信這個房間裡 許多的女性大概也感同身受，

the feeling, an overwhelming feeling of insecurity,

就是一股讓人招架不住的不安感，

is oftentimes with us constantly.

經常如影隨形。

I mean, imagine this:

試幻想一下：

walking home late at night, hearing footsteps behind you.

深晚獨自步行回家， 聽到後面傳來腳步聲，

You wonder if you should walk faster or if you should slow down.

你在想該走快一點還是走慢一些，

You keep your keys in your hand in case you need to use them.

手裡握著鑰匙，方便隨時派上用場。

You say, "Text me when you get home. I want to make sure you are safe."

你跟別人講：「到家後給我發個 訊息。我想確保你安全回家了。」

And we mean those words.

我們可真的是擔心起來了。

We're afraid to put down our drinks.

我們怕擱下飲料離開。

We're afraid to speak too much or too little in a meeting.

我們怕在會議上講太多或太少。

And imagine being woman and black and trans and queer and Latinx

再幻想一下身為女性、 黑人、變性人、酷兒、

and undocumented and poor and immigrant,

拉丁美州人、無證移民、 貧窮階層、外來人口，

and you could then only imagine how overwhelming this work can be,

你就會明白這項工作 多讓人喘不過氣，

especially within the context of personal safety.

特別是因為它關乎別人的自身安全。

However, when I took a step to reflect

可是，當我開始反思

on what brought me to this work to begin with,

是甚麼驅使我開始這項工作呢，

I began to realize it was actually the love that I had

我就發現一切緣於

我對社區裡女性的愛。

for women in my community.

It was the way I saw them gather,

當她們凝聚在一起，

their ability to build for each other,

又展現出助人自助的能力，

that inspired me to keep doing this work

就鼓勵我繼續努力下去，

day in and day out.

不分晝夜。

So whether I was in a refugee camp in Jordan

無論我是在約旦的難民營，

or a community center in Dallas, Texas

在德州達拉斯的社區中心，

or a corporate office in Silicon Valley,

還是在矽谷的某個辦公室，

women gathered in beautifully magical ways

女性總是以那麼 美麗神奇的方式聚集，

and they built together and supported each other

她們互助建立，互助扶持，

in ways that shifted culture

改變了現有的文化，

to empower and build safety for women.

讓女性可以自強，感到安全。

And that is how the change happens.

改變就這樣發生了。

It was through those relationships we built together.

我們建立的這些關係帶來改變。

That's why we don't just teach self-defense,

所以我們不只是教防身術，

but we also throw dance parties

我們也會舉辦跳舞派對

and host potlucks

和百樂餐，

and write love notes to each other

又會寫一些充滿關愛的便條給對方，

and sing songs together.

一起唱歌。

And it's really about the friendship,

最重要的就在於這些友誼。

and it's been so, so fun.

大家樂也融融，十分歡槳。

So the last thing I want to leave you with

演講結束之前，我想說的最後一點，

is that the key takeaway for me in teaching self-defense all of these years

也是這些年來教防身術 讓我明白的一個關鍵，

is that I actually don't want women, as cool as the self-defense moves are,

就是就算防身招數有多帥，

to go out and use these self-defense techniques.

我也不希望女性真的用得上。

I don't want any woman to have to de-escalate any violent situation.

我不希望有女性需要以武術制暴。

But for that to happen,

而要達成這願景，

the violence shouldn't happen,

先不能再有任何暴力。

and for the violence not to happen,

而沒有暴力的前提

the systems and the cultures

是要遏止

that allow for this violence to take place to begin with needs to stop.

容讓暴力發生的系統和文化。

And for that to happen, we need all hands on deck.

而推倒歪風，人人有責。

So I've given you my secret recipe,

我已經把我的秘方告訴你了。

and now it's up to you.

現在換你走下一步了。

To start with what you know, to start with who you know

從你懂的事情開始， 從你認識的人開始，

and to start with joy. But just start.

還有懷著歡樂的心開始。 千里之行，始於足下。

Thank you so much.

謝謝各位。

(Applause)

（掌聲）