The Relationship Between Sex and Imagination | Gina Gutierrez | TED

譯者: Wei C. 審譯者: Shelley Tsang 曾雯海

"Oh, I'm not in the mood".

「唉…我現在沒心情」

Who here has ever told a partner that before?

在座誰有對你的 另一半這樣說過？

(Laughter and murmuring)

（笑聲與竊竊私語）

We've all done this.

我們全都這麼做過

And if you haven't said it, then you've probably heard it.

如果沒說過大概也聽過

Intuitively, we understand

直觀來說，我們知道

that our minds matter when it comes to sex,

提到性這方面時 怎麼想很重要

but we’re quick to focus on bodies, touch and sensation

但我們都太快聚焦在 肢體接觸與感官上的刺激

as the most crucial elements.

把這些當作最重要的事

We're less likely to consider the role of our imaginations.

而忽略了想像力所扮演的角色

In many parts of our life, we are really great at imagining.

在生活中很多時候 我們非常善於想像

Things like vacations or dream homes or career moves.

放長假、夢想中的房子 或是職涯上的選擇

These exercises in imagination help us define what it is we want.

這些想像幫助我們 認知到想要的東西

They allow us to flirt with what's possible

讓我們可以在做決定之前 先感受所有的可能性

before having to make any decisions.

And they're also innately pleasurable,

而想像本身就是令人愉悅的

even if those fantasies never actually materialize.

即使那些幻想從未真正實現

Imagination is such a powerful tool.

想像力就是你的超能力

So when it comes to sex, why isn't it one of the first ones that we reach for?

當談到性時，為什麼想像 不是我們會想先做的事？

When I first started doing research on arousal and desire,

當我第一次開始研究 性興奮及性慾望時

I learned that for women, cognition is as important to arousal

我了解到，對於女性而言 能有意識的認知與獲得性刺激

對性興奮而言是同等重要的

as the presence of sexual stimuli.

In other words, using their memories, fantasies and some focus,

換言之，用記憶、幻想 與一些注意力

women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.

女性能靠想的讓自己興奮

This particular study focused on women,

這個研究主要針對女性

and much of my own work is also focused on people who are female identifying.

我個人的工作也大多著重於 性別認同為女性的人

But this much is clear regardless of gender identity:

但無論自身性別認同為何 這一點都很清楚：

the brain is the biggest sex organ,

大腦是最大的性器官

and everyone can benefit from expanding their sexual imagination.

每個人都能受益於 發揮自己的性幻想

I first started thinking

我第一次開始思考

about this connection between sex and imagination

性與想像之間的連結

while I was in college.

是在我讀大學的時候

Back then, among my friends,

在那個時候，我的朋友們

the definition of sex was extremely narrow.

對於性的定義都極度狹隘

It essentially meant penetrative sex between a guy and a girl.

基本上就是男女間 有侵入式的性行為

And masturbation wasn't a topic of conversation.

而自慰甚至沾不上邊

Frankly, I think that solo sex was seen as a last resort,

坦白說，我覺得自慰 在過去都是被視為是

a desperate or lonely act

在絕望或寂寞時的最終手段

instead of a fundamentally empowering exploration.

沒有與生俱來探索的權利

One morning, a friend of mine was telling me

一天早上，朋友跟我聊到

about her latest unsatisfying hookup,

最近一次不愉快的性經驗

and I asked her what she had been thinking about during sex.

然後我問她在過程中 都在想些什麼

"Hmm," she said.

她說：＂嗯…我也不知道＂

“I don’t know.”

Something about that really struck me.

這件事讓我想到了什麼

Her entire memory of the experience was what had happened physically.

她整件事的記憶 全都只有身體上的感受

So many of us think that good sex is something that should happen to us,

大部分的人會認為 自己應該要有好的性經驗

that it’s in someone else’s hands, quite literally,

而這取決於對方 做的好不好，一語雙關

We expect a partner, current or future, to be the magical unlock.

我們期待現在或未來 能有一個伴侶

會成為你的真命天子/女

Maybe because we feel especially safe with them

也許是因為與他在一起 我們會特別有安全感

or attracted to them

被他所吸引

or because they have more experience than we do.

又或者是他比自己更有經驗

But in doing so, we forget our own agency in the matter.

總是期待著別人 讓我們失去了主導權

We write ourselves and our imaginations out of the pleasure equation.

讓我們把自身與想像 排除在快樂的等式之外

I had this hunch that my friend,

我有個預感我朋友

that many of us, were experiencing a crisis of inspiration.

大多數的人，正在經歷靈感危機

In the years after college,

大學畢業後幾年

my fascination with the role of imagination and sexuality only grew.

我越來越著迷研究 想像力與性欲間的關聯

Eventually, I left the career I'd built to start a company called Dipsea,

最終離開了我創立的職業 成立一間名為「點海」的公司

which creates stories, audio stories, designed to turn women on.

我們打造有聲故事來讓女性興奮

I decided to focus on audio

我決定鑽研聲音部分

because it's so immersive and so evocative and so personal.

因為它是沉浸式、令人回味 又非常地私密的

Here's what I mean.

現在試試看我說的

Feel free to close your eyes and consider where these sounds take you.

放輕鬆閉上眼睛 看這些聲音會帶領你們到哪

(Birds chirping)

（鳥鳴聲）

(Water flowing)

（潺潺水流聲）

OK. Open your eyes.

好，張開雙眼

Were those not the sounds you were imagining I'd play?

這是你們剛剛認為 我要播的聲音嗎？

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Here's what comes to my mind.

我腦海裡的景象是這樣的：

I'm in the mountains.

我身在山林中

I can feel the sunshine on my face.

感覺陽光灑在臉上

I can feel the cool chill coming up off the Alpine water.

感受到阿爾卑斯山水面上 吹來的冷風

I can see the tiny flecks of sparkle in the granite.

還能看到花崗岩裡閃爍的光點

I bet that every person in this room is imagining something a little different,

我敢說在座各位 正在想像些不同的東西

but filled with all sorts of distinct details about the surroundings,

但是都充滿著周遭環境 各種獨特的細節

about the circumstances.

Audio is incredible that way.

聲音就是如此不可思議

Erotic audio stories have characters and plot,

情色有聲故事裡應有角色和情節

but like the sounds you just heard create a blueprint for your mind

但像剛剛聽到的聲音 會先創造你內心的藍圖

to then fill in the blanks.

來填補背景的空白

They allow you to develop your own vision of what's appealing

發展自己的視角

in a way that can get lost

看到那些在螢幕上

when you see something specific or explicit onscreen.

赤裸且特定的畫面 所看不到的東西

You may not be ready or interested

你可能還沒準備好

in dipping a toe into erotic audio stories.

或沒興趣嘗試情色的有聲故事

And that's OK.

沒關係

So today I'm going to walk you through

今天我會帶領你們了解

how you might get started creating your own stories

如何開始創造自己的故事

and activating your own sexual imagination.

來激發你們的性幻想

I won't take this too far. You don't have to follow along right now.

我不會太超過 你們也不必現在就跟著進入情境

But consider this a guide

但在下次獨處時 可以把這當作一個指引

for the next time you get a little me time.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

First, you'll want to settle into your mind

首先，你要先安定心神

the same way that you might start a meditation.

就像要開始冥想一樣

Then imagine that your mind is like a projector.

接著想像你的腦海是一部投影機

Everything you can see and experience is what's right in front of you.

你的所見所聞都在眼前

Everything to your left, right, behind you,

前後左右的一切

that's out of frame.

都是沒有框架的

This is important because while there are thoughts that turn us on,

這很重要因為雖然 有些想像能讓我們興奮

there are also thoughts that are incredibly effective at turning us off:

但有些想像卻能 非常有效地讓我們冷掉

stress, shame, insecurities,

壓力、羞恥、不安全感

and also the things that inexplicably ick us out.

還有些事會莫名地 讓我們無法進入狀況

So when a thought appears that isn't working,

所以，當一個無法 起作用的想法出現時

and it inevitably will,

也無可避免地會這樣

you'll be able to sweep it out of frame.

你要能將想法掃出框架

You can start with your senses.

可以先從感官下手

Imagine colors, textures, sounds, images,

想像顏色、紋理、聲音、圖像

anything that gives you sensory pleasure.

任何能讓你感到舒服的事

Sometimes I like to imagine cherry blossoms

有時我喜歡想像櫻花

softly floating down from trees.

從樹上輕柔飄落

Or I use a fiery pinkish orange or a relaxing blue as a backdrop

或是我會用火熱的 粉橘色或悠閒的藍色

for the experience that I'm imagining.

當成我正在想像的背景

Next, try places.

下一個，試著想像地點

And keep in mind that setting will be more important

記住這個設定對某些人來說

to some of us than to others.

會比其他事物來的重要

Reach back into your memory

從記憶中回溯

to that secluded beach you visited many years ago.

你幾年前去的那個幽靜的海灘

Or create a setting from scratch with as much privacy and comfort,

或從頭創造有足夠隱私 與舒適的環境

or as many adventurous stakes as you like.

或只要你喜歡 也可以是冒險刺激的地方

Next think about a person and layer on a narrative.

再來想像一個人物 並鋪上一層敘述

Maybe it's a character from one of your favorite books.

可能是你最愛書籍中的角色

Maybe it's your girlfriend.

你的女朋友

Hey, maybe it's a guy in a kilt.

也許是穿著蘇格蘭裙的男子

Whoever it is, how do they approach you?

不論是誰，他是如何靠近你

What's motivating them?

是什麼驅使了他

What energy are they coming to you with?

他帶來怎樣的能量

What about you? What do you say?

那你呢？你說了什麼？

And what do you do together?

你們一起做了什麼？

And when you find something that you really like,

而當你們找到真的喜歡的事物

play it out for a while.

多玩一會兒

You’ll have just designed your own story.

你剛剛創造了自己的故事

The more you flex this muscle,

越放鬆你的肌肉

the more you'll understand what turns you on

就越了解什麼能讓你興奮

and be able to communicate those things to a partner.

就能與伴侶溝通那些事

You can share the entire fantasy with them if you're comfortable.

如果你感覺安心 就能和他分享整個奇幻旅程

That kind of disclosure can be very intimate and affirming.

那種坦承可以是 非常親密和互相肯定的

Or ...

或者…

don't.

不要分享也罷

It is not a betrayal to use your imagination

因為藉由想像讓自己更舒服 並不是一種背叛

to bring you more pleasure.

Fantasy is a safe space,

幻想是個安全的空間

and it's time we bust the myth that what you fantasize about

而這次讓我們打破這個迷思： 你幻想的事情

and what you want to happen in reality

與你想在現實中發生的事

are always the same thing.

都是一樣的

So allow me to offer us a bigger definition of what sex is.

所以請允許我為我們 下一個更廣泛對性的定義

Sex isn't just a physical act.

性不只是生理活動

It's a mental experience.

它是一種心理經驗

And it isn't wholly dependent on a partner.

而且並不全然仰賴伴侶

It starts with you.

是從你自己開始做起

You're the one in control of creating the most pleasure for you.

是你在掌控自己 創造出最好的愉悅

You're the protagonist.

你是主角

As much as you love someone or feel attracted to them,

不論你多愛某人或被他吸引

they are playing a supporting role.

他們都只是配角

And you for them.

而你也是他們的配角

Sex is an avenue to accessing feelings of aliveness, empowerment,

性是條大道讓你 能感到活著、有資格的

joy and confidence

喜悅和自信

innate to all of us.

是我們與生俱來的權利

That aliveness, that is the impact of sexual wellness.

這種快活 才是健康的性的目的

And you will feel it walking down the street,

以後走在路上、加入任何談話

entering any conversation, navigating any relationship.

引領某段感情時，你都能領悟

Put that way,

這麼說好了

none of us can afford not to prioritize sex.

我們怎麼能不優先考慮「性」

It isn't a nice-to-have or an if-I-get-to-it,

這不是「有了很好」 或「我能有嗎？」

dead last on our list right after picking up the dry cleaning.

或是代辦事項裡 無聊的最後一項

So the next time you notice

所以下次當你發現

that you haven't been in the mood for a while,

你已有一陣子「性」致缺缺

carve some time out for yourself

為自己騰出一些時間

and let your imagination tell you a sexy story.

讓想像力為你 講一個性感的故事

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）