The Relationship Between Sex and Imagination | Gina Gutierrez | TED

172,346 views ใƒป 2022-06-22

TED


์•„๋ž˜ ์˜๋ฌธ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ”ํด๋ฆญํ•˜์‹œ๋ฉด ์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

๋ฒˆ์—ญ: Hae Lin Kim ๊ฒ€ํ† : DK Kim
โ€œ์•„, ๊ทธ๋Ÿด ๊ธฐ๋ถ„์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ์•ผ.โ€
00:05
"Oh, I'm not in the mood".
0
5210
2586
00:09
Who here has ever told a partner that before?
1
9339
2252
์ƒ๋Œ€์—๊ฒŒ ์ด๋Ÿฐ ๋ง์„ ๋“ค์–ด๋ณด์‹  ๋ถ„ ์žˆ์œผ์‹ ๊ฐ€์š”?
00:11
(Laughter and murmuring)
2
11633
1585
(์›ƒ์Œ๊ณผ ์›…์„ฑ๊ฑฐ๋ฆผ)
์šฐ๋ฆฌ ๋ชจ๋‘ ๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ๊ฒฝํ—˜์ด ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:16
We've all done this.
3
16012
1585
00:17
And if you haven't said it, then you've probably heard it.
4
17639
3170
๋งํ•˜๋Š” ์ชฝ์ด ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ๋ฉด ๋“ฃ๋Š” ์ชฝ์ด์—ˆ๊ฒ ์ฃ .
00:21
Intuitively, we understand
5
21726
1418
์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ง๊ด€์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋งˆ์Œ์ด ์„น์Šค์— ์˜ํ–ฅ์„ ์ค€๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์••๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:23
that our minds matter when it comes to sex,
6
23186
2711
00:25
but weโ€™re quick to focus on bodies, touch and sensation
7
25897
3879
๊ทธ๋Ÿผ์—๋„ ์‹ ์ฒด์™€ ์ ‘์ด‰๊ณผ ๊ฐ๊ฐ์ด ์ œ์ผ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์š”์†Œ๋ผ๊ณ  ์„ฃ๋ถˆ๋ฆฌ ๋‹จ์ •์ง“์ฃ .
00:29
as the most crucial elements.
8
29776
2252
์ƒ์ƒ์ด ํ•˜๋Š” ์—ญํ• ์€ ์ž˜ ๊ณ ๋ คํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:32
We're less likely to consider the role of our imaginations.
9
32028
4004
์ธ์ƒ์˜ ๋งŽ์€ ๋ถ€๋ถ„์—์„œ ์šฐ๋ฆฐ ์ƒ์ƒ์„ ์•„์ฃผ ์ž˜ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:36
In many parts of our life, we are really great at imagining.
10
36032
3462
00:39
Things like vacations or dream homes or career moves.
11
39494
4630
ํœด๊ฐ€๋‚˜ ๊ฟˆ๊พธ๋Š” ์ง‘์ด๋‚˜ ์ด์ง ๊ฐ™์€ ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์—์„œ์š”.
์ด๋Ÿฌํ•œ ์—ฐ์Šต์€ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ๋ญ”์ง€ ์•Œ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๊ฒŒ ํ•ด์ค๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:44
These exercises in imagination help us define what it is we want.
12
44165
4213
๋ฌด์—‡์ด ๊ฐ€๋Šฅํ•œ์ง€ ๊ฒฐ์ •ํ•˜๊ธฐ ์ „์— ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ๋ง›์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋„์™€์ฃผ์ฃ .
00:49
They allow us to flirt with what's possible
13
49254
2044
00:51
before having to make any decisions.
14
51339
2586
00:53
And they're also innately pleasurable,
15
53967
2919
๋˜ ์ƒ์ƒ์€ ๊ทธ ์ž์ฒด๋กœ ์žฌ๋ฏธ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
00:56
even if those fantasies never actually materialize.
16
56928
2753
์‹ค์ œ๋กœ๋Š” ์ ˆ๋Œ€ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜์ง€ ์•Š๋Š”๋‹ค ํ•ด๋„์š”.
01:00
Imagination is such a powerful tool.
17
60599
2210
์ƒ์ƒ๋ ฅ์€ ์•„์ฃผ ๊ฐ•๋ ฅํ•œ ๋„๊ตฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:02
So when it comes to sex, why isn't it one of the first ones that we reach for?
18
62851
4296
๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ๋ฐ ์™œ ์„ฑ๊ด€๊ณ„์—์„œ๋Š” ์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋กœ ์ฐพ์ง€ ์•Š๋Š” ๊ฑธ๊นŒ์š”?
01:08
When I first started doing research on arousal and desire,
19
68773
2753
์ œ๊ฐ€ ํฅ๋ถ„๊ณผ ์š•๊ตฌ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์—ฐ๊ตฌ๋ฅผ ์ฒ˜์Œ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ์„ ๋•Œ,
01:11
I learned that for women, cognition is as important to arousal
20
71526
4088
์—ฌ์„ฑ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ์ธ์ง€๋ ฅ์€ ์„ฑ์  ์ž๊ทน๋งŒํผ์ด๋‚˜ ํฅ๋ถ„์— ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ๋ฐฐ์› ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:15
as the presence of sexual stimuli.
21
75614
2043
01:18
In other words, using their memories, fantasies and some focus,
22
78533
5380
๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋ง๋กœ ํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ธฐ์–ต, ์ƒ์ƒ, ์ง‘์ค‘์„ ํ†ตํ•ด
01:24
women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.
23
84706
2336
์—ฌ์„ฑ๋“ค์€ ์ƒ๊ฐ๋งŒ์œผ๋กœ๋„ ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:28
This particular study focused on women,
24
88752
2210
์ด ์—ฐ๊ตฌ๋Š” ์—ฌ์„ฑ์— ์ง‘์ค‘ํ–ˆ๊ณ 
์ œ ์ž‘์—…๋„ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์œผ๋กœ ๋ถ„๋ฅ˜๋˜๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋“ค์„ ๋Œ€์ƒ์œผ๋กœ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:31
and much of my own work is also focused on people who are female identifying.
25
91004
4004
ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ์„ฑ๋ณ„์— ์ƒ๊ด€์—†์ด ํ™•์‹คํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€
01:35
But this much is clear regardless of gender identity:
26
95050
3587
01:38
the brain is the biggest sex organ,
27
98678
2294
๋‡Œ๋Š” ๊ฐ€์žฅ ํฐ ์„ฑ์  ๊ธฐ๊ด€์ด๋ฉฐ,
๋ˆ„๊ตฌ๋‚˜ ์„ฑ์  ์ƒ์ƒ์„ ํ†ตํ•ด ๊ธฐ์จ์„ ์–ป์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:41
and everyone can benefit from expanding their sexual imagination.
28
101014
3462
01:45
I first started thinking
29
105685
1251
์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ฒ˜์Œ ์„น์Šค์™€ ์ƒ์ƒ์˜ ์—ฐ๊ด€์„ฑ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ–ˆ๋˜ ๋•Œ๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ•™ ์‹œ์ ˆ์ด์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:46
about this connection between sex and imagination
30
106978
2294
01:49
while I was in college.
31
109272
1293
01:50
Back then, among my friends,
32
110565
2169
๋‹น์‹œ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋“ค ์‚ฌ์ด์—์„œ
01:52
the definition of sex was extremely narrow.
33
112734
3128
์„ฑ๊ด€๊ณ„๊ฐ€ ๋œปํ•˜๋Š” ๋ฐ”๋Š” ๋ชน์‹œ ์ข์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
01:55
It essentially meant penetrative sex between a guy and a girl.
34
115862
4588
ํ•œ ๋‚จ์„ฑ๊ณผ ํ•œ ์—ฌ์„ฑ์˜ ์‚ฝ์ž… ์„น์Šค๋งŒ์„ ๋œปํ–ˆ์ฃ .
02:01
And masturbation wasn't a topic of conversation.
35
121576
2878
์ž์œ„๋Š” ๋Œ€ํ™” ์ฃผ์ œ์— ๋ผ์ง€๋„ ๋ชปํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:05
Frankly, I think that solo sex was seen as a last resort,
36
125497
4045
์†”์งํžˆ ๋งํ•ด์„œ ํ˜ผ์ž ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ตœํ›„์˜ ์ˆ˜๋‹จ์ด๋‚˜
02:09
a desperate or lonely act
37
129584
1794
์žํฌ์ž๊ธฐ ํ˜น์€ ์™ธ๋กœ์šด ํ–‰๋™์œผ๋กœ ์—ฌ๊ฒจ์กŒ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:11
instead of a fundamentally empowering exploration.
38
131419
2962
๊ทผ๋ณธ์ ์œผ๋กœ ์ž์œจ์ ์ธ ํƒ๊ตฌ๊ฐ€ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ผ์š”.
02:15
One morning, a friend of mine was telling me
39
135715
2086
์–ด๋А ๋‚  ์ œ ์นœ๊ตฌ๋Š” ์ €์—๊ฒŒ ๋ถˆ๋งŒ์กฑ์Šค๋Ÿฌ์› ๋˜ ํ•˜๋ฃป๋ฐค์— ๋Œ€ํ•ด ๋งํ–ˆ๊ณ 
02:17
about her latest unsatisfying hookup,
40
137842
2503
02:20
and I asked her what she had been thinking about during sex.
41
140387
3086
์ €๋Š” ๊ด€๊ณ„ ์ค‘์— ์–ด๋–ค ์ƒ๊ฐ์„ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€ ๋ฌผ์–ด๋ณด์•˜์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:24
"Hmm," she said.
42
144683
2002
โ€œ์Œ,โ€ ๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๋งํ–ˆ์ฃ .
02:28
โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€
43
148353
1209
โ€œ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ์–ด.โ€
02:30
Something about that really struck me.
44
150772
2544
๊ทธ ๋Œ€๋‹ต์€ ์ €๋ฅผ ๊ฐ•ํƒ€ํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:33
Her entire memory of the experience was what had happened physically.
45
153316
3504
๊ทธ๋…€๊ฐ€ ๊ธฐ์–ตํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์œก์ฒด์ ์œผ๋กœ ์–ด๋–ค ์ผ์ด ์žˆ์—ˆ๋Š”์ง€๋ฟ์ด์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:37
So many of us think that good sex is something that should happen to us,
46
157696
3962
์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๋Œ€๊ฐœ ์ข‹์€ ์„น์Šค๋ž€
๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์˜ ์†์„ ํ†ตํ•ด ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ๊ฒช๋Š” ์ผ์ด๋ผ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
02:41
that itโ€™s in someone elseโ€™s hands, quite literally,
47
161658
2544
๊ธ€์ž ๊ทธ๋Œ€๋กœ ๋ง์ด์ฃ .
02:44
We expect a partner, current or future, to be the magical unlock.
48
164786
4171
ํ˜„์žฌ ํ˜น์€ ๋ฏธ๋ž˜์˜ ์ƒ๋Œ€๊ฐ€ ๋งˆ๋ฒ•์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ ์ž ๊ธˆ์„ ํ’€๊ธธ ๋ฐ”๋ผ์ฃ .
02:49
Maybe because we feel especially safe with them
49
169457
2795
์•„๋งˆ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฅผ ์•ˆ์ „ํ•˜๋‹ค๊ณ  ๋А๋ผ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
02:52
or attracted to them
50
172293
1669
์„ฑ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋Œ๋ฆฌ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
์ž์‹ ๋ณด๋‹ค ๊ฒฝํ—˜์ด ๋งŽ๋‹ค๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•˜๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ด๊ฒ ์ฃ .
02:54
or because they have more experience than we do.
51
174003
2712
02:56
But in doing so, we forget our own agency in the matter.
52
176756
4296
ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ ๋ฌธ์ œ๋ฅผ ๋Œ€ํ•˜๋Š” ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์ฃผ์ฒด์„ฑ์„ ์žŠ์–ด๋ฒ„๋ฆฝ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ž์‹ ๊ณผ ์ž์‹ ์˜ ์ƒ์ƒ๋ ฅ์„ ์พŒ๊ฐ ๋ฐฉ์ •์‹์—์„œ ์ œ์™ธํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:01
We write ourselves and our imaginations out of the pleasure equation.
53
181094
5005
03:07
I had this hunch that my friend,
54
187726
1668
์ €๋Š” ์ œ ์นœ๊ตฌ์™€ ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋“ค ๋Œ€๋ถ€๋ถ„์ด
03:09
that many of us, were experiencing a crisis of inspiration.
55
189436
4129
์ƒ์ƒ๋ ฅ์˜ ์œ„๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋งž๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด ๋“ค์—ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:14
In the years after college,
56
194774
1377
๋Œ€ํ•™์„ ์กธ์—…ํ•œ ์ดํ›„๋กœ
์ƒ์ƒ๊ณผ ์„ฑ์˜ ์—ญํ• ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๊ด€์‹ฌ์€ ์ ์  ์ปค์ ธ๋งŒ ๊ฐ”์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:16
my fascination with the role of imagination and sexuality only grew.
57
196151
3420
03:20
Eventually, I left the career I'd built to start a company called Dipsea,
58
200530
5005
๊ฒฐ๊ตญ ์ €๋Š” ์ง์žฅ์„ ๊ทธ๋งŒ๋‘๊ณ  ๋”ฅ์‹œ๋ผ๋Š” ํšŒ์‚ฌ๋ฅผ ์„ค๋ฆฝํ–ˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:25
which creates stories, audio stories, designed to turn women on.
59
205535
5255
์—ฌ์„ฑ์˜ ํฅ๋ถ„์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ์†Œ์„ค๊ณผ ์˜ค๋””์˜ค๋ถ์„ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ํšŒ์‚ฌ์˜€์ฃ .
์ €๋Š” ์ฒญ๊ฐ์— ์ง‘์ค‘ํ•˜๊ธฐ๋กœ ํ–ˆ์–ด์š”.
03:32
I decided to focus on audio
60
212125
2127
03:34
because it's so immersive and so evocative and so personal.
61
214294
4754
์ฒญ๊ฐ์€ ๋ชฐ์ž…๊ฐ ์žˆ๊ณ  ์—ฐ์ƒํ•˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์•„์ฃผ ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
03:39
Here's what I mean.
62
219924
1502
์˜ˆ๋ฅผ ๋“ค์–ด๋ณผ๊ฒŒ์š”.
03:41
Feel free to close your eyes and consider where these sounds take you.
63
221468
3878
๋ˆˆ์„ ๊ฐ๊ณ  ์ด ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์„ ์–ด๋””๋กœ ์ด๋„๋Š”์ง€ ์•Œ์•„๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
03:46
(Birds chirping)
64
226431
1251
03:47
(Water flowing)
65
227724
1668
(์ƒˆ ์ง€์ €๊ท€๋Š” ์†Œ๋ฆฌ)
(๋ฌผ ํ๋ฅด๋Š” ์†Œ๋ฆฌ)
(๋ฌผ ํ๋ฅด๋Š” ์†Œ๋ฆฌ, ์ƒˆ์†Œ๋ฆฌ)
์ด์ œ ๋ˆˆ์„ ๋œจ์„ธ์š”.
04:01
OK. Open your eyes.
66
241154
1835
04:02
Were those not the sounds you were imagining I'd play?
67
242989
2586
์ œ๊ฐ€ ๋“ค๋ ค์ค„ ๊ฑฐ๋ผ ์˜ˆ์ƒํ–ˆ๋˜ ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์•„๋‹ˆ์—ˆ์ฃ ?
04:05
(Laughter)
68
245575
1793
(์›ƒ์Œ)
04:07
Here's what comes to my mind.
69
247368
2294
์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ์ด๋ ‡์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:09
I'm in the mountains.
70
249662
1544
์ €๋Š” ์‚ฐ ์†์— ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
์–ผ๊ตด์„ ๋น„์ถ”๋Š” ํ–‡๋น›์ด ๋А๊ปด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:11
I can feel the sunshine on my face.
71
251247
2294
04:13
I can feel the cool chill coming up off the Alpine water.
72
253583
3295
๊นŠ์€ ์‚ฐ ์†์˜ ๋ฌผ์„ ๋‹ด์€ ์ฐจ๊ฐ€์šด ๊ณต๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ๋А๊ปด์ง‘๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:16
I can see the tiny flecks of sparkle in the granite.
73
256920
2752
ํ™”๊ฐ•์•” ์œ„๋กœ ์ž‘๊ฒŒ ๋ฐ˜์ง๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด ๋ณด์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:20
I bet that every person in this room is imagining something a little different,
74
260715
4838
์ด ๋ฐฉ์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋งˆ๋‹ค ์กฐ๊ธˆ์”ฉ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๊ฑธ ์ƒ์ƒํ–ˆ์„ ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”.
04:25
but filled with all sorts of distinct details about the surroundings,
75
265595
3295
ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๊ฐ์ž๋งŒ์˜ ๋‚ด์šฉ์œผ๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋“ ์ฐฌ ๋ฐฐ๊ฒฝ๊ณผ ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค์–ด๋ƒˆ์„ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:28
about the circumstances.
76
268932
1459
์†Œ๋ฆฌ๋Š” ์ด๋Ÿฐ ์ชฝ์—์„œ ๋›ฐ์–ด๋‚ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:31
Audio is incredible that way.
77
271184
1877
์„ฑ์ ์ธ ์˜ค๋””์˜ค๋ถ์€ ์ธ๋ฌผ๊ณผ ์ค„๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์žˆ์œผ๋‚˜
04:34
Erotic audio stories have characters and plot,
78
274103
3921
๋ฐฉ๊ธˆ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ๋“ค์€ ์†Œ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋งŒ์˜ ๋…ํŠนํ•œ ์ƒ์ƒ์„ ๋งŒ๋“ค์—ˆ๋“ฏ์ด
04:38
but like the sounds you just heard create a blueprint for your mind
79
278024
4546
04:42
to then fill in the blanks.
80
282570
1627
์ƒ์ƒ์œผ๋กœ ์ฑ„์›Œ์งˆ ์˜์—ญ์ด ๋งŽ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:44
They allow you to develop your own vision of what's appealing
81
284864
2962
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ด ๋งค๋ ฅ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ค๋Š”์ง€ ์ž์‹ ๋งŒ์˜ ์žฅ๋ฉด์„ ๋– ์˜ฌ๋ฆด ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:47
in a way that can get lost
82
287826
1418
ํ™”๋ฉด์—์„œ ํŠน์ •ํ•œ ํ˜น์€ ๋…ธ๊ณจ์ ์ธ ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ดค์„ ๋•Œ๋Š”
04:49
when you see something specific or explicit onscreen.
83
289244
4254
์žƒ์–ด๋ฒ„๋ฆฌ๊ธฐ ์‰ฌ์šด ๊ฒƒ์ด์ฃ .
04:54
You may not be ready or interested
84
294916
1877
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ์•„์ง ์„ฑ์ ์ธ ์˜ค๋””์˜ค๋ถ์—
04:56
in dipping a toe into erotic audio stories.
85
296835
2252
์ค€๋น„๋˜์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ด€์‹ฌ ์—†์„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ ๊ทธ๋ž˜๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
04:59
And that's OK.
86
299128
1252
05:00
So today I'm going to walk you through
87
300421
2044
์˜ค๋Š˜์€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์ž์‹ ๋งŒ์˜ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋งŒ๋“ค๊ณ 
05:02
how you might get started creating your own stories
88
302507
2419
05:04
and activating your own sexual imagination.
89
304968
2168
์ž์‹ ๋งŒ์˜ ์„ฑ์ ์ธ ์ƒ์ƒ์„ ๋Œ์–ด๋‚ด๋Š”์ง€ ์•Œ๋ ค๋“œ๋ฆฌ๋ ค ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:07
I won't take this too far. You don't have to follow along right now.
90
307762
3337
๋„ˆ๋ฌด ์ง„๋„๋ฅผ ๋‚˜๊ฐ€์ง„ ์•Š์„ ๊ฑฐ๊ณ  ์ง€๊ธˆ ๋‹น์žฅ ๋”ฐ๋ฅผ ํ•„์š”๋Š” ์—†์–ด์š”.
ํ•˜์ง€๋งŒ ๋‹ค์Œ์— ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ธ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๊ฐ€์งˆ ๋•Œ ์ด ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ•์„ ํ•œ๋ฒˆ ๊ณ ๋ คํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
05:11
But consider this a guide
91
311140
1961
05:13
for the next time you get a little me time.
92
313142
2169
05:16
(Laughter)
93
316688
1251
(์›ƒ์Œ)
05:18
First, you'll want to settle into your mind
94
318773
2086
์ฒซ ๋ฒˆ์งธ๋กœ, ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ๋งˆ์Œ์„ ๊ฐ€๋ผ์•‰ํžˆ๋Š” ๊ฒŒ ์ข‹์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:20
the same way that you might start a meditation.
95
320859
2210
๋ช…์ƒ์„ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•  ๋•Œ์™€ ๊ฐ™์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:24
Then imagine that your mind is like a projector.
96
324612
2336
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ๋งˆ์Œ์ด ์˜์‚ฌ๊ธฐ๋ผ๊ณ  ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
05:26
Everything you can see and experience is what's right in front of you.
97
326948
3754
๋ณด๊ณ  ๊ฒฝํ—˜ํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ์€ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์•ž์— ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:30
Everything to your left, right, behind you,
98
330702
2794
์ง€๊ธˆ ์™ผ์ชฝ, ์˜ค๋ฅธ์ชฝ, ๋’ค์— ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์—๋Š” ๊ด€์‹ฌ์ด ์—†์–ด์š”.
05:33
that's out of frame.
99
333496
1251
05:35
This is important because while there are thoughts that turn us on,
100
335498
3253
์ด๊ฒŒ ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ์ด์œ ๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ํฅ๋ถ„์‹œํ‚ค๋Š” ์ƒ์ƒ๋„ ์žˆ์ง€๋งŒ
05:38
there are also thoughts that are incredibly effective at turning us off:
101
338793
4505
ํฅ๋ถ„์„ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ๊ฐ€๋ผ์•‰๊ฒŒ ํ•˜๋Š” ์ƒ์ƒ๋„ ์žˆ๊ธฐ ๋•Œ๋ฌธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
05:43
stress, shame, insecurities,
102
343339
3546
์ŠคํŠธ๋ ˆ์Šค, ๋ถ€๋„๋Ÿฌ์›€, ๋ถˆ์•ˆ๊ฐ,
05:46
and also the things that inexplicably ick us out.
103
346926
3420
์•Œ ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋Š” ์ด์œ ๋กœ ๋ชฐ์ž…์„ ๊นจ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋“ค๋„์š”.
๋งŒ์•ฝ ์ž˜ ์•ˆ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ ๊ฐ™์€ ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด ๋“ค๋ฉด,
05:51
So when a thought appears that isn't working,
104
351139
3128
05:54
and it inevitably will,
105
354309
1960
ํ•„์—ฐ์ ์œผ๋กœ ๊ทธ๋Ÿด ํ…๋ฐ,
05:56
you'll be able to sweep it out of frame.
106
356311
2919
๊ทธ๊ฑธ ๊ด€์‹ฌ ๋ฐ–์œผ๋กœ ์น˜์›Œ๋ฒ„๋ฆด ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:00
You can start with your senses.
107
360648
2169
๊ฐ๊ฐ๋ถ€ํ„ฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•ด ๋ณผ๊นŒ์š”.
06:02
Imagine colors, textures, sounds, images,
108
362817
3879
์ƒ‰๊น”, ์ด‰๊ฐ, ์†Œ๋ฆฌ, ์žฅ๋ฉด์„ ์ƒ์ƒํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
06:06
anything that gives you sensory pleasure.
109
366696
1960
๊ฐ๊ฐ์ ์ธ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์›€์„ ์ฃผ๋Š” ๋ชจ๋“  ๊ฒƒ๋“ค์„์š”.
06:09
Sometimes I like to imagine cherry blossoms
110
369490
2837
์ €๋Š” ๊ฐ€๋” ๋‚˜๋ฌด์—์„œ ๋ถ€๋“œ๋Ÿฝ๊ฒŒ ๋–จ์–ด์ง€๋Š”
๋ฒš๊ฝƒ์„ ์ฆ๊ฒจ ์ƒ์ƒํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:12
softly floating down from trees.
111
372327
2460
06:14
Or I use a fiery pinkish orange or a relaxing blue as a backdrop
112
374787
5047
ํ˜น์€ ๊ฐ•๋ ฌํ•œ ๋ถ„ํ™ ์˜ค๋ Œ์ง€๋‚˜ ์ฐจ๋ถ„ํ•œ ํŒŒ๋ž€์ƒ‰์ด
์ œ๊ฐ€ ์ƒ์ƒํ•˜๋Š” ์žฅ๋ฉด์˜ ๋ฐฐ๊ฒฝ์ด ๋˜๊ฒŒ ํ•˜์ฃ .
06:19
for the experience that I'm imagining.
113
379876
1835
06:22
Next, try places.
114
382712
1627
๋‹ค์Œ์œผ๋กœ, ์žฅ์†Œ๋ฅผ ๋– ์˜ฌ๋ ค ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
06:24
And keep in mind that setting will be more important
115
384380
2503
์–ด๋–ค ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์‚ฌ๋žŒ๋ณด๋‹ค ๋ฐฐ๊ฒฝ์„ ๋” ์ค‘์š”ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:26
to some of us than to others.
116
386925
1626
06:28
Reach back into your memory
117
388593
1376
๊ธฐ์–ต์„ ๋”๋“ฌ์–ด ๋ช‡ ๋…„ ์ „์— ๊ฐ”๋˜ ์™ธ๋”ด ํ•ด๋ณ€์„ ๊ฐ€ ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
06:30
to that secluded beach you visited many years ago.
118
390011
2753
06:32
Or create a setting from scratch with as much privacy and comfort,
119
392805
4213
ํ˜น์€ ์™„์ „ํžˆ ์ƒˆ๋กœ์šด ๊ฐœ์ธ์ ์ด๊ณ  ํŽธ์•ˆํ•œ ์žฅ์†Œ๋ผ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜
์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๋งŒํผ ๋ชจํ—˜์‹ฌ์„ ๋ฐœํœ˜ํ•  ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:37
or as many adventurous stakes as you like.
120
397060
3461
06:41
Next think about a person and layer on a narrative.
121
401606
3086
๋‹ค์Œ์œผ๋กœ ๋“ฑ์žฅ ์ธ๋ฌผ๊ณผ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ์˜ ๊ฒฐ์„ ์ƒ๊ฐํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
06:45
Maybe it's a character from one of your favorite books.
122
405360
2586
์ œ์ผ ์ข‹์•„ํ•˜๋Š” ์ฑ…์˜ ์ฃผ์ธ๊ณต์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:48
Maybe it's your girlfriend.
123
408863
1543
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์—ฌ์ž์นœ๊ตฌ์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
06:51
Hey, maybe it's a guy in a kilt.
124
411491
2502
ํ‚ฌํŠธ๋ฅผ ์ž…์€ ๋‚จ์ž์ผ ์ˆ˜๋„ ์žˆ์–ด์š”.
06:54
Whoever it is, how do they approach you?
125
414661
3086
๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ๋ˆ„๊ตฌ๋“ ์ง€, ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์–ด๋–ป๊ฒŒ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ค๋‚˜์š”?
06:57
What's motivating them?
126
417789
1251
๊ทธ๋“ค์˜ ๋ชฉ์ ์€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ด๊ณ  ์–ด๋–ค ๋ถ„์œ„๊ธฐ๋กœ ๋‹ค๊ฐ€์˜ค๋‚˜์š”?
06:59
What energy are they coming to you with?
127
419082
2210
07:01
What about you? What do you say?
128
421334
2252
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๋ญ๋ผ๊ณ  ๋งํ•˜๊ณ  ๋ฌด์—‡์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ํ•˜๋‚˜์š”?
07:03
And what do you do together?
129
423628
1376
07:05
And when you find something that you really like,
130
425546
2378
์ •๋ง ๋งˆ์Œ์— ๋“œ๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์ฐพ์•˜๋‹ค๋ฉด ์ž ์‹œ ๋†€์•„ ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
07:07
play it out for a while.
131
427966
1292
์ž์‹ ๋งŒ์˜ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋ง‰ ์„ค๊ณ„ํ•œ ๊ฑฐ์˜ˆ์š”.
07:10
Youโ€™ll have just designed your own story.
132
430093
1960
07:12
The more you flex this muscle,
133
432637
1668
์ด ๊ทผ์œก์— ๋” ํž˜์„ ์ค„์ˆ˜๋ก ์ž์‹ ์ด ๋ฌด์—‡์— ํฅ๋ถ„ํ•˜๋Š”์ง€ ์ž˜ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋˜๊ณ 
07:14
the more you'll understand what turns you on
134
434347
2336
07:16
and be able to communicate those things to a partner.
135
436724
3045
๊ทธ์™€ ๊ด€๋ จํ•ด์„œ ์ƒ๋Œ€์™€ ์†Œํ†ตํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:19
You can share the entire fantasy with them if you're comfortable.
136
439811
3253
๋ถˆํŽธํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค๋ฉด ๋ชจ๋“  ํ™˜์ƒ์„ ํ•จ๊ป˜ ๋‚˜๋ˆ ๋„ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์ด๋Ÿฐ ๊ณ ๋ฐฑ์€ ์•„์ฃผ ์นœ๋ฐ€ํ•˜๊ณ  ๊ธ์ •์ ์ผ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:23
That kind of disclosure can be very intimate and affirming.
137
443064
3837
๊ทธ๋ ‡์ง€ ์•Š์œผ๋ฉด
07:28
Or ...
138
448027
1251
07:29
don't.
139
449946
1251
ํ•˜์ง€ ๋งˆ์„ธ์š”.
์พŒ๊ฐ์„ ์–ป๊ธฐ ์œ„ํ•ด ์ƒ์ƒํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ฐฐ์‹ ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:32
It is not a betrayal to use your imagination
140
452115
3128
07:35
to bring you more pleasure.
141
455243
2043
ํ™˜์ƒ์€ ์•ˆ์ „ํ•œ ์žฅ์†Œ์ด๋ฉฐ,
07:37
Fantasy is a safe space,
142
457286
2336
07:39
and it's time we bust the myth that what you fantasize about
143
459664
3670
์ด์ œ๋Š” ์ž์‹ ์˜ ํ™˜์ƒ๊ณผ ํ˜„์‹ค์—์„œ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ธธ ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒŒ
07:43
and what you want to happen in reality
144
463376
2294
07:45
are always the same thing.
145
465712
1251
ํ•ญ์ƒ ๊ฐ™๋‹ค๋Š” ์ƒ๊ฐ์—์„œ ๋ฒ—์–ด๋‚˜์•ผ ํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์„น์Šค๊ฐ€ ๋ฌด์—‡์ธ์ง€์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์ •์˜๋ฅผ ํ™•์žฅํ•ด ๋ณด์ฃ .
07:48
So allow me to offer us a bigger definition of what sex is.
146
468131
4921
์„น์Šค๋Š” ๋‹จ์ง€ ์œก์ฒด์ ์ธ ํ–‰๋™์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:54
Sex isn't just a physical act.
147
474053
2670
07:56
It's a mental experience.
148
476764
2127
์ •์‹ ์ ์ธ ํ™œ๋™์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
07:58
And it isn't wholly dependent on a partner.
149
478933
2628
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ์™„์ „ํžˆ ์ƒ๋Œ€๋ฐฉ์— ์˜ํ•ด ์ขŒ์šฐ๋˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ๋„ ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:01
It starts with you.
150
481602
1752
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ์„œ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์ด์ฃ .
08:03
You're the one in control of creating the most pleasure for you.
151
483354
3837
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์พŒ๋ฝ์„ ๋งŒ๋“œ๋Š” ์‚ฌ๋žŒ์€ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์ด ์ฃผ์ธ๊ณต์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:07
You're the protagonist.
152
487191
2044
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์€ ๋ˆ„๊ตฐ๊ฐ€๋ฅผ ์‚ฌ๋ž‘ํ•˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋Œ๋ฆฌ์ง€๋งŒ
08:09
As much as you love someone or feel attracted to them,
153
489235
3378
08:12
they are playing a supporting role.
154
492613
2586
๊ทธ๋“ค์€ ์กฐ์—ฐ์ด์ฃ .
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„๋„ ๊ทธ๋“ค์—๊ฒ ์กฐ์—ฐ์ด๊ณ ์š”.
08:15
And you for them.
155
495199
1252
08:17
Sex is an avenue to accessing feelings of aliveness, empowerment,
156
497702
5255
์„น์Šค๋Š” ์šฐ๋ฆฌ ์•ˆ์— ์žˆ๋Š” ์‚ด์•„์žˆ๋Š” ๊ธฐ๋ถ„, ์ž์œจ์„ฑ,
08:22
joy and confidence
157
502999
1710
๊ธฐ์จ๊ณผ ์ž์‹ ๊ฐ์— ๋‹ค๊ฐ€๊ฐˆ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ธธ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:24
innate to all of us.
158
504751
1668
08:26
That aliveness, that is the impact of sexual wellness.
159
506961
4630
๊ทธ ์ƒ๊ธฐ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐ”๋กœ ์„ฑ์  ๊ฑด๊ฐ•์˜ ์˜ํ–ฅ๋ ฅ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:31
And you will feel it walking down the street,
160
511632
2461
๊ธธ์„ ๊ฑธ์œผ๋ฉด์„œ๋„, ๋Œ€ํ™”ํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ๋„,
์–ด๋–ค ๊ด€๊ณ„๋ฅผ ํƒ์ƒ‰ํ•˜๋ฉด์„œ๋„ ๋А๋‚„ ์ˆ˜ ์žˆ์„ ๊ฒ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:34
entering any conversation, navigating any relationship.
161
514135
3086
08:38
Put that way,
162
518723
1251
๊ทธ๋Ÿฐ ์‹์œผ๋กœ ์ •์˜ํ•จ์œผ๋กœ์จ,
์•„๋ฌด๋„ ์„น์Šค๋ฅผ ์šฐ์„ ์‹œํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š์„ ์ˆ˜ ์—†์Šต๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
08:40
none of us can afford not to prioritize sex.
163
520016
3128
์„น์Šค๋Š” โ€˜ํ•˜๋ฉด ์ข‹๊ณ โ€™ ํ˜น์€ โ€˜๋งŒ์•ฝ ํ•˜๊ฒŒ ๋˜๋ฉดโ€™์ฒ˜๋Ÿผ
08:43
It isn't a nice-to-have or an if-I-get-to-it,
164
523186
2752
08:45
dead last on our list right after picking up the dry cleaning.
165
525938
3212
ํ•  ์ผ ๋ชฉ๋ก์—์„œ ์„ธํƒ๋ฌผ์„ ์ฐพ์€ ๋‹ค์Œ์— ์˜ค๋Š” ํ•˜์ฐฎ์€ ๊ฒƒ์ด ์•„๋‹™๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ, ์˜ค๋žซ๋™์•ˆ ๊ทธ๋Ÿด ์ƒ๊ฐ์ด ๋“ค์ง€ ์•Š์•˜๋‹ค๋Š” ๊ฑธ ์•Œ๊ฒŒ ๋˜์—ˆ์„ ๋•Œ,
08:49
So the next time you notice
166
529150
2336
08:51
that you haven't been in the mood for a while,
167
531486
2419
08:53
carve some time out for yourself
168
533905
1918
ํ˜ผ์ž๋งŒ์˜ ์‹œ๊ฐ„์„ ๋งˆ๋ จํ•˜๊ณ 
08:55
and let your imagination tell you a sexy story.
169
535823
3629
์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์˜ ์ƒ์ƒ๋ ฅ์ด ์—ฌ๋Ÿฌ๋ถ„์—๊ฒŒ ์„น์‹œํ•œ ์ด์•ผ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๋“ค๋ ค์ฃผ๊ฒŒ ํ•ด ๋ณด์„ธ์š”.
09:00
Thank you.
170
540411
1293
๊ฐ์‚ฌํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.
09:01
(Applause)
171
541704
4797
(๋ฐ•์ˆ˜)(ํ™˜ํ˜ธ)
์ด ์›น์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ ์ •๋ณด

์ด ์‚ฌ์ดํŠธ๋Š” ์˜์–ด ํ•™์Šต์— ์œ ์šฉํ•œ YouTube ๋™์˜์ƒ์„ ์†Œ๊ฐœํ•ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์ „ ์„ธ๊ณ„ ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ์„ ์ƒ๋‹˜๋“ค์ด ๊ฐ€๋ฅด์น˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ˆ˜์—…์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฐ ๋™์˜์ƒ ํŽ˜์ด์ง€์— ํ‘œ์‹œ๋˜๋Š” ์˜์–ด ์ž๋ง‰์„ ๋”๋ธ” ํด๋ฆญํ•˜๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ณณ์—์„œ ๋™์˜์ƒ์ด ์žฌ์ƒ๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์žฌ์ƒ์— ๋งž์ถฐ ์ž๋ง‰์ด ์Šคํฌ๋กค๋ฉ๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜๊ฒฌ์ด๋‚˜ ์š”์ฒญ์ด ์žˆ๋Š” ๊ฒฝ์šฐ ์ด ๋ฌธ์˜ ์–‘์‹์„ ์‚ฌ์šฉํ•˜์—ฌ ๋ฌธ์˜ํ•˜์‹ญ์‹œ์˜ค.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7