"Miles from Any Shoreline" | Sarah Kay | TED

譯者: Alexis Young 審譯者: Amanda Zhu

I frequently miss entire days

我經常錯過整個白天的時間

caught in my brain’s spider webs

思緒困在腦裡像蜘蛛網般 交織的神經叢中

but if I happen to look up in time

但如果我及時往上看

to notice that the darkness

發現黑暗還剩下一點點日光

still has a little daylight left to swallow

還沒吃掉

I will ivy up the fire escape to catch

我就會像長春藤在逃生梯往上攀援

whatever embers of the day

想一瞥日光，像只剩灰燼的微弱火光

are still slow dying behind New Jersey

在紐澤西後方的天際慢慢死去

and last week through the fog

而上周

在孤獨的迷霧中我發現

of my loneliness I realized

the living room was slippery pink

客廳是滑膩的粉紅色

which I knew meant

我知道

a light show must be on display

一場光影秀正在上演

so with a quickness I reserve for emergencies

所以我像逃難般使出全速

I scampered to the roof and sure enough

狂奔到屋頂，不出所料

an explosion of upside-down clementine

一縷縷炫麗的、像上下顛倒的

cotton candy cloud wisps

小甘橘色棉花糖的雲朵

was tie-dyeing the Hudson River neon

把哈德遜河染成了霓虹

and I swear I am not a lightweight

我真的不是易醉的人

but I was colordrunk immediately

但我馬上就被這色彩醺醉了

dizzy with gasp and skyward-reaching

天旋地轉中喘著大氣 手往上想觸摸天空

hoping my fingers might find

希望手指可以摸到一個鈴鐺

a bell I could ring

把它搖響

that would summon all of New York City

召喚整個紐約市

to look up! and west!

往上看！往西邊看！

but there was no bell and no one to call

但沒有鈴鐺，也沒有人

just my own astonishment

只有我的驚嘆

still willing to answer after the first ring

仍然願意在第一聲鈴響時回應

how predictable: one good sunset

怎麼這麼容易中圈套：

and I release my nihilism

一個美麗的夕陽 就讓我放棄了虛無主義

like rose petals behind a bridal gown

像新娘禮服後散落的玫瑰花瓣

look I have married my cynicism

我已婚，另一半名叫「憤世忌俗］

and renewed my vows

而且還結了兩次

but it didn’t stop the streetlights

但他沒有阻止街燈

from coming on at the exact moment I passed beneath them

在我恰巧走過的那一刻點亮

when nobody else was in the park to see it

四周卻沒有人可以見證

like the whole city was winking

像是整個城市在對我拋媚眼

and yes I blushed

我紅了臉

the way I do whenever someone beautiful flirts with me

就像被俊俏人士勾引時一樣

I haven’t stopped thinking about death

我沒有停止思考過死亡

I am just wringing every last jaw-drop

我只是在心碎與心碎之間

from the tissue between heartbreaks

從淚水沾濕的面紙上擰出幾個驚嘆

On a long run outside the city

在城郊的慢跑

along a highway and

沿著的是一條公路，而且

miles from any shoreline

沿街的商店都在方圓好幾里外

I found a starfish alone on the asphalt

在柏油路上我發現一隻海星

an unsolvable mystery

一個不解之謎

with no witness to corroborate

又是沒有人可以幫我作證

and there I was again

然後我又來到

wandering the streets of

困惑村的街上遊盪

Bewilderville: Population 1

困惑村：人口 1 人

what else could I possibly do

我還能做甚麼，除了

but swing wide the doors of my delight

把我愉悅的大門

to this patron saint of unbelonging

向漂泊者的守護聖人敞開

fragile and whole and so far from home

脆弱、完整又離家好遠

if you too have been the one nobody asked to dance

如果你曾是沒人邀舞的牆花

I’ve got a starfish I’d love to introduce you to

我想把海星先生見紹給你認識

and I don’t have any proof

我沒有證據

but one time the wind

但只有一次，風

or my ancestors or unseasonal warmth

還是我的祖先還是非時的暖流

carried three hawks

帶來三隻鷹

to my kitchen windowsill

停駐在我廚房的窗沿上

to rattle my coffin to cocoon

把我的棺木變成繭 （比喻將死亡昇華為蛻變）

and two of them left

兩隻鷹飛走了

but one of them stayed

只有一隻留下

eyed me through the glass

隔著窗玻璃盯著我看

like a promise or a dare

像在承諾我或賭我敢不敢做甚麼

and so lately I am trying

所以最近我試著

to pick up

在宇宙叩應的時候

when the universe calls

接起電話

(Applause)

（掌聲）