The mood-boosting power of crying | Kathy Mendias

Transcriber: Ivana Korom Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology,

根據美國眼科醫學會的說法，

we create 15 to 30 gallons of tears a year.

我們每年會產生出 十五到三十加侖的眼淚。

I am what you would call a high-volume producer.

我就是所謂的大量生產者。

Now even though we do create less tears as we age,

雖然隨著年齡增長， 我們產生的眼淚的確變少了，

I figure by the time I'm 80,

我認為，當我到了八十歲時，

I will have filled up 40 average-sized bath tubs.

我的眼淚也能裝滿 四十個一般大小的浴缸。

Now crying in my early years?

我在早年時的哭泣？

Not something I would brag about.

我可不會拿來誇口。

When I was five,

五歲時，

I thought it was a good idea to practice writing my name

我以為在房屋牆上 練習寫自己的名字是個好主意。

on the side of the house.

Outside the house.

房屋的外牆。

Momma didn't agree with me much.

老媽不太認同。

She handed me a toothbrush and said,

她拿了牙刷給我，說： 「拿去，好好刷。」

"Here, scrub."

So I did.

我照做了。

I'd sit at the dining room table for what seemed like an eternity.

我在餐桌前坐了 似乎無止盡的漫長時光，

I didn't want to eat my vegetables.

不想吃蔬菜。

You probably know the feeling.

你可能懂我的感覺。

I'd miss all my favorite shows and cry like crazy.

如果錯過我最愛的節目， 我就會狂哭起來。

Crying was always associated with something bad.

哭泣總是和不好的事情連結在一起。

Fortunately, I grew up.

幸運的是，我長大了。

I stopped writing on the walls, started eating my vegetables,

我不再在牆上寫字，也吃蔬菜了，

and I entered the wonderful world of motherhood.

進入了美好的母親世界。

And let me tell you, crying takes on a whole new meaning.

讓我告訴你，哭泣有了全新的意義。

I was nine months pregnant and I was sitting on the couch,

懷胎九個月時，我坐在沙發上，

looking at the front door where my bags were packed,

看著前門，我的包包已經 整理好放在門邊等著，

waiting for me,

because I was hopeful that today would be the day.

因為我希望今天就是生產日。

I settle in a little bit more,

我讓自己更舒適一點，

and I think to myself, "You know, we can put humans into space,

我心想：「我們可以 把人類送上太空，

卻似乎無法確定寶寶何時會出生。」

but we can't seem to figure out when a baby will be born."

And then I feel this pressure build up in my chest,

接著，我感到胸口越來越有壓力，

my throat get really tight,

我的喉嚨變得很緊，

and I just burst into tears.

我就這樣大哭出來。

And you know what?

你知道嗎？我完全不知道為什麼哭。

I had no idea why.

And not knowing why at the time,

那時，不知道為何而哭 反而讓我更沮喪，

well, that just got me more upset,

so I eventually was just upset for being upset.

最終，我單純是因為沮喪而沮喪。

I took a deep breath -- (Inhales)

我深深吸了一口氣——（吸氣） 接著吐氣——（吐氣）

and I let it out -- (Exhales)

Thought that would help, but no, it didn't.

我以為那樣會有幫助， 但，不，沒有用。

Then my brother walks in with his smirky grin and he says to me,

接著，我哥哥帶著 詭秘的笑容走進來，

對我說：「你是怎麼了？」

"What's wrong with you?"

I said, "Nothing, just leave me alone."

我說：「沒什麼，別管我。」

And he did, he ran as fast as he could.

他真的就不管我了，全速離開。

And you know what I did when he left.

你知道當他離開後我做了什麼嗎？

I cried even harder.

我哭得更用力。

I was ashamed and embarrassed, just like when I was a kid.

我感到羞恥和不好意思， 就像我小時候一樣。

Now lucky for me,

我好幸運，這種盯著門邊 包包的日子只再持續了九天，

I only had to look at that bag sitting by the front door

for another nine days,

然後才到了預產期。

right before my expected date of delivery.

And finally, my body said it was time.

終於，我的身體說，時候到了。

And after 18 hours of feeling my body try to expel this little human

有十八個小時的時間， 我感受到我的身體

在將這個和保齡球差不多 大小的小小人類推出來，

that weighed about the size of a bowling ball,

and hours of pushing so hard

我用力擠了好幾個小時，

that I thought for sure this baby was stuck,

心想這個寶寶肯定是卡住了，

within a heartbeat,

突然間，

my beautiful baby girl Jennifer

我美麗的寶貝女兒珍妮佛

entered the world.

進入了這個世界。

And I looked at her, and she cried

我看著她，她哭了，

and then I just cried.

接著，我也哭了。

All of that emotion and pressure that I had inside just seconds before

幾秒之前我還能感受到 內在的情緒和壓力，

was immediately replaced with the most joyous sense of relief

立刻被我這輩子最喜悅的

寬心感受取代了。

that I had ever felt.

And after nine months of crying over these fears and anxieties

經過九個月不斷因為這些恐懼和焦慮

and crazy out-of-control hormones,

還有大大失控的荷爾蒙而哭泣之後，

that was instantaneously transformed into the deepest,

我的哭泣馬上轉變成了我人生中

最深刻、最揪心、

most heartfelt, happiest cry of my life.

最快樂的哭泣。

And I had no control.

且我無法控制。

Those really hard tears,

那些真的很實在的眼淚，

those happy tears,

那些快樂的眼淚，

those overwhelming joyful tears,

那些讓我無法招架的喜悅眼淚，

they had nowhere to go but out.

它們無處可去，只能湧出眼眶。

And it was those tears,

正是那些眼淚，那個時刻， 那無法言喻的快感，

that moment, that incredible high,

that inspired me to birth three more little miracles

鼓勵我再將三個小小奇蹟帶到世上，

and start to help others have their own.

並開始協助他人擁有自己的孩子。

I became a childbirth educator,

我變成了教導分娩的教育家，

and I started a whole new relationship with tears.

我也展開了和眼淚的全新關係。

It was early in my 30 years of teaching,

在我三十年教育職涯的前期，

I had a class touch my heart like no other.

有個班級獨一無二地觸動我心。

The topic for the night --

當晚的主題——

emotions of pregnancy, go figure.

懷孕的情緒——居然有這種事。

And it was important for the class

對這班而言，重要的是要先了解

to first learn about the emotional changes and responses during pregnancy,

在懷孕期間的情緒改變和反應，

and how when we cry, it can feel like the body's trying to push out

及當我們哭泣時，感覺就像是身體

在試圖將那些額外的情緒推出去，

that extra emotion,

almost like it's processing what it can't hold inside.

幾乎就像是身體在設法處理 它內在容不下的東西。

Like an exhaust port for extreme feelings of sadness,

就像是個排氣孔，把那些悲傷、

喜悅，甚至鬆一口氣的極端感受，

joy or even relief after days,

在期待那神奇的一刻數天、

years of anticipation of that one magical moment.

數年之後，通通釋放出來。

It can literally feel like your body is squeezing out all that emotion

感覺真的就像是你的身體 要把所有的情緒擠出來，

in the form of water coming from our eyes.

擠出來的形式就是從眼睛流出的水。

Our tears.

我們的眼淚。

Now tears were always expected during my classes.

在我的班上，會有眼淚是意料之中。

Not mine this time, the new moms'.

這次不是我的眼淚， 是新手媽媽們的。

And this night in this class,

那晚，在那個班上，

it was way different.

狀況大大不同。

I had just finished talking about the emotional changes of pregnancy

我剛談完懷孕期間的情緒改變，

我接著開始談擬娩症候群。

and I went in to talk about the couvade syndrome.

Now the word "couvade" comes from a French term, "couver,"

「擬娩」這個詞來自 法文的「couver」，

which means "to brood,"

意思是「庇護」，

similar to birds protecting a nest.

就像鳥類會保護鳥巢。

Well, who better to protect this nest than the expecting mother's partner?

有誰比待產媽媽的伴侶 更適合來保護這個巢？

Also called a sympathetic pregnancy,

擬娩症候群也叫感性妊娠，

the couvade syndrome is a real-life phenomenon,

它是種確實會發生的現象，

where the non-pregnant partner can take on pregnancy characteristics

沒有懷孕的伴侶會出現懷孕的特徵，

like mood swings, loss of sleep,

比如心情擺盪、失眠、

weight gain

增重，有些情況

and for some, a really intense drive to do something new and unexpected,

會有非常強烈的衝動 想要去做新的、未預期的事，

like buy a new sports car

比如買一台新跑車，

or start a new hobby like gourmet cooking.

或者發展新嗜好，如美食烹飪。

The class usually laughs a little bit after that

在談到這些之後， 全班通常會笑一笑，

and that's it.

就這樣，那晚就結束了。

We end the night.

But it didn't end there.

但那天卻不是如此。

When I finished my sentence,

我說完話之後，

this big, burly father-to-be stands up,

有位高大魁梧的準爸爸站起來，

and I thought for sure he was leaving.

我很肯定地認為他是要離開了。

But instead, in a really gruff, commanding way, he says,

但，他反而用一種很粗魯 且居高臨下的方式說道：

"Alright, you guys,

「好，各位，有多少人 曾經在這期間哭過？

how many of you have cried during this thing,

you know, her pregnancy?"

在她懷孕期間？」

I scan the class to make sure everybody was OK.

我的視線掃過全班， 確保大家都還好。

They were fine,

他們很好，只是非常急切 想知道接下來會發生什麼事。

they were just very intent on what was going to happen next.

And then, one gentleman raises his hand and says, "I have."

接著，有位男士舉手， 說：「我哭過。」

And then another,

接著，又有另一位， 各種故事就這樣湧出。

and the stories just flowed.

Even this really quiet gal --

就連一個非常安靜的女子——

she was the fiancee of one of the expecting moms --

她是其中一位準媽媽的未婚妻——

she looks at her and she says,

她看著她，說：

"See? I told you my crying was normal too."

「看到了吧？我告訴過你， 我哭也是正常的。」

The class connected,

全班連結起來了，

they validated each other,

他們彼此驗證，

and we all walked away with a new respect

那晚，所有人離開時， 對未懷孕的伴侶都有了新的看法。

for the non-pregnant partners that night.

For me, that solidified my passion to embrace those tears.

對我來說，那件事讓我 更堅定要去擁抱那些眼淚。

Then, it got better.

接著，還有更好的。

On the last night of that same six-week class,

同樣為期六週班級的最後一晚，

one of the expecting moms came up to me.

一位準媽媽來找我。

She asked to talk to me privately, and I said of course,

她希望能和我私下談，我說沒問題，

and we went into the corner.

我們兩人便到角落去。

And she says,

她說：

"I need to thank you for saving my relationship."

「你要謝謝你拯救了我的關係。」

I let her go on, and she tells me

我讓她繼續說，她告訴我，

that her husband was considering leaving her

她先生本來在考慮要離開她，

over her mood swings,

因為她心情擺盪不定、 哭到無法控制，

out-of-control crying,

and his turmoil and anger over this pregnancy.

且這段懷孕讓他既混亂又生氣。

But he didn't leave.

但他沒有離開。

She went on to tell me that they realized now it's OK to cry.

她接著告訴我，

他們現在知道哭泣是沒關係的。

And he had told her that when he cries,

他告訴她，

當他哭出來時，

he doesn't feel as angry.

就不會感到那麼生氣了。

Wow!

哇！

Not only did crying bring my class together,

哭泣不僅讓我的班級凝聚起來，

it kept that couple together.

也讓那對夫妻保持凝聚。

And you know, his comment about anger was really, really intriguing to me,

他對於生氣的說法 讓我感到非常好奇，

so I looked around, did some research,

所以我四處找資訊，做了些研究，

and sure enough, Dr. Oren Hasson,

果然，歐倫韓森博士，

an evolutionary psychologist,

他是演化心理學家，

he had some theories about when tears blur our vision,

他提出一些理論， 說明當我們熱淚盈眶時，

it really has the ability to, sometimes, reduce our ability to react to that anger.

真的有時候會

降低我們對怒氣做出反應的能力。

But the tears weren't the anger.

但，眼淚並不是怒氣。

They were more like the release valve.

眼淚比較像是減壓閥。

And though many of us, we try to keep those tears inside,

雖然有許多人試圖 將眼淚壓抑在內在，

but letting them out really may be the better move.

但讓眼淚流出來 可能會是更好的做法。

Keeping them inside

壓抑在內可能會放大 我們的憤怒感或悲傷感。

can amplify our feelings of anger or sadness.

And while we're releasing those tears,

當我們釋放出那些眼淚時，

our hormones inside, they're on high alert,

我們內在的荷爾蒙處在高戒備狀態，

and we know this

我們會知道這一點，

because of Dr. William Frey, a biochemist.

是因為生物化學家威廉佛萊。

He found that inside of our emotional tears --

他發現，在我們的情緒眼淚裡面——

not our everyday, like, yawning tears,

不是日常的如呵欠眼淚， 而是我們的情緒眼淚——

but our emotional tears --

there's high concentrations of stress hormones

會有高濃度的壓力荷爾蒙

and leucine enkephalins,

和亮氨酸腦啡肽， 簡單來說，就是腦內啡。

which, easier on my tongue, is endorphins.

And while our stress hormones are helping our bodies out,

我們的壓力荷爾蒙功能 是在幫助我們的身體，

our endorphins, those feel-good chemicals,

而我們的腦內啡，讓我們 感覺很好的化學物質，

they're helping to act as a pain reliever

則是扮演止痛的角色，

to boost our mood.

讓我們振作起來。

Now who wouldn't want that?

誰不會想要啊？

There are two triggers for the release of endorphins

對大部分人而言，

有兩樣東西會觸發腦內啡的釋放。

for most of us.

Stress and pain.

壓力和痛苦。

And for a woman giving birth,

對於生產的女性而言，

experiencing both stress and pain,

會經歷到壓力以及痛苦，

endorphins, they are a gift.

因此，腦內啡就像天賜的禮物。

As the labor progresses,

隨著分娩開始，

those endorphins will rise to help her with a potentially long labor.

那些腦內啡會增加，協助母親 渡過可能會很漫長的分娩。

As a result,

因此，

the mom is better able to cope,

母親就會比較能撐下去，

and she can feel more alert and almost euphoric after the birth.

且在生產後會感到警覺 比較敏銳且心情愉快。

Crying

哭泣

is just awesome.

真的很讚。

I wish there was a bigger word.

我希望還有更強大的字眼來形容。

Crying offers us an opportunity for physical relief,

哭泣讓我們的身體有機會放鬆，

for intimacy between two individuals

有機會讓兩個人親近，

and ultimately,

最終，

it promotes physical and mental well-being.

它還能促進身心健康。

And as an expression

它也是種表達方式，

of our most intense interior human experiences,

表達我們最強烈的內在人類感受，

there is no need to be embarrassed,

不用感到不好意思，

no need to be ashamed

不用覺得羞恥，

and no need to run away.

也不用逃避。

We need to have a healthy relationship with crying

我們需要和哭泣建立健康的關係，

and change the way we view tears.

並改變我們看待眼淚的方式。

We see them as overwhelming and scary and confusing,

我們認為眼淚是讓人無法招架的、 讓人害怕的、讓人困惑的，

when they're really beautiful,

但其實，眼淚很美麗，

soothing and reassuring.

很讓人寬心和放心。

They're not to be seen as some screeching alarm bell

我們不該把眼淚視為 某種尖銳的警鈴，

that something is wrong

表示出問題了，

but rather a natural functionality

我們應該將眼淚視為 我們不可思議的身體

of our amazing bodies.

所提供的一種自然功能。

Crying is as essential to me as breathing.

對我而言，哭泣和呼吸一樣重要。

And now, if I'm caught crying on that couch by my wonderful husband,

我的好先生現在對哭泣的了解 比他想要的還要多很多，

who has had to learn way more about crying than he ever wanted to,

當他再次發現我在沙發上哭泣時，

he doesn't run away.

他不會再逃走了。

He'll ask me why I'm crying,

他會問我為什麼哭，

and I'll let him know I just need my release.

我會讓他知道我只是需要釋放一下。

He'll take my hand,

他會握住我的手，

and you know what I'll do?

你知道我會做什麼嗎？ 我會全部解放出來。

I will let it all out.

And then I'm going to sink into that deep sense of intimacy

接著，我會沉浸到

深刻的親密感

and extraordinary sense of relief

以及超凡的放鬆感當中，

that only my tears can bring.

只有我的眼淚才能帶來這些感受。

Thank you.

謝謝。