The mood-boosting power of crying | Kathy Mendias

Transcriber: Ivana Korom Reviewer: Krystian Aparta

Prevoditelj: Mihael Kralj Recezent: Sanda Liker

According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology,

Prema Američkoj akademiji oftamologije,

we create 15 to 30 gallons of tears a year.

kreiramo 60 do 100 litara suza godišnje.

I am what you would call a high-volume producer.

Ja, moglo bi se reći, proizvodim mnogo.

Now even though we do create less tears as we age,

Iako stvaramo manje suza s godinama,

I figure by the time I'm 80,

shvatila sam da bih tako do 80. godine života

I will have filled up 40 average-sized bath tubs.

napunila 40 prosječnih kada.

Now crying in my early years?

A plakanje u svojim mladim danima?

Not something I would brag about.

Nije nešto čime se ponosim.

When I was five,

Kad sam imala pet godina,

I thought it was a good idea to practice writing my name

mislila sam kako je vježbanje pisanja svog imena po zidu

on the side of the house.

jako dobra ideja.

Outside the house.

Po vanjskom zidu.

Momma didn't agree with me much.

Mama se nije baš slagala.

She handed me a toothbrush and said,

Dala mi je četkicu za zube i rekla:

"Here, scrub."

"Evo ti, ribaj."

So I did.

Pa jesam.

I'd sit at the dining room table for what seemed like an eternity.

Sjedila bih za stolom u blagovaonici toliko dugo, činilo se vječno.

I didn't want to eat my vegetables.

Nisam htjela pojesti povrće.

You probably know the feeling.

Vjerojatno znate kako je to.

I'd miss all my favorite shows and cry like crazy.

Propustila bih svoje najdraže crtiće i plakala kao luda.

Crying was always associated with something bad.

Plač je uvijek bio povezan s nečim lošim.

Fortunately, I grew up.

Na svu sreću, odrasla sam.

I stopped writing on the walls, started eating my vegetables,

Prestala sam pisati po zidovima, počela jesti povrće

and I entered the wonderful world of motherhood.

i ušla u predivan svijet majčinstva.

And let me tell you, crying takes on a whole new meaning.

I moram vam reći, plač poprima posve novo značenje.

I was nine months pregnant and I was sitting on the couch,

Bila sam trudna devet mjeseci i sjedila na kauču,

looking at the front door where my bags were packed,

gledajući ulazna vrata gdje su bile moje pune torbe,

waiting for me,

čekale me,

because I was hopeful that today would be the day.

jer sam se nadala da će danas biti taj dan.

I settle in a little bit more,

Malo se namjestim

and I think to myself, "You know, we can put humans into space,

i pomislim: "Znaš, možemo ljude slati u svemir,

but we can't seem to figure out when a baby will be born."

a ne možemo niti predvidjeti kad će se roditi beba."

And then I feel this pressure build up in my chest,

I tada bih osjetila taj pritisak u svojim grudima,

my throat get really tight,

stezanje u grlu

and I just burst into tears.

i samo počela plakati.

And you know what?

I znate što?

I had no idea why.

Nisam imala pojma zašto.

And not knowing why at the time,

U to vrijeme,

well, that just got me more upset,

to me još više uzrujalo

so I eventually was just upset for being upset.

pa sam na kraju bila uzrujana jer sam uzrujana.

I took a deep breath -- (Inhales)

Duboko sam udahnula -- (Udah)

and I let it out -- (Exhales)

i izdahnula -- (Izdah).

Thought that would help, but no, it didn't.

Mislila sam da će to pomoći, no nije pomoglo.

Then my brother walks in with his smirky grin and he says to me,

I tada uleti moj brat sa svojim kiselim smiješkom i kaže:

"What's wrong with you?"

"Što je tebi?"

I said, "Nothing, just leave me alone."

Rekla sam: "Ništa, pusti me na miru."

And he did, he ran as fast as he could.

I je, pobjegao je koliko su ga noge nosile.

And you know what I did when he left.

I znate što sam učinila kad je otišao.

I cried even harder.

Plakala, još jače.

I was ashamed and embarrassed, just like when I was a kid.

Bila sam posramljena, kao kad sam bila dijete.

Now lucky for me,

Sebi na sreću,

I only had to look at that bag sitting by the front door

trebala sam gledati tu torbu pored ulaznih vrata

samo još 9 dana,

for another nine days,

prije dana poroda.

right before my expected date of delivery.

And finally, my body said it was time.

I konačno, moje tijelo je reklo - vrijeme je.

And after 18 hours of feeling my body try to expel this little human

I nakon 18 sati osjećanja kako moje tijelo pokušava izbaciti to malo biće,

that weighed about the size of a bowling ball,

koje je težilo otprilike kao kugla za kuglanje,

and hours of pushing so hard

i sati teškog tiskanja

that I thought for sure this baby was stuck,

tijekom kojih sam mislila da je beba zapela,

within a heartbeat,

u trenutku,

my beautiful baby girl Jennifer

moja predivna mala Jennifer

entered the world.

je izašla na svijet.

And I looked at her, and she cried

I gledala sam je, a ona je plakala

and then I just cried.

pa sam i ja počela plakati.

All of that emotion and pressure that I had inside just seconds before

Svu tu emociju i pritisak koje sam osjećala iznutra trenutak prije,

was immediately replaced with the most joyous sense of relief

odmah je zamijenilo najsretnije olakšanje

that I had ever felt.

koje sam ikad osjetila.

And after nine months of crying over these fears and anxieties

I nakon devet mjeseci plakanja oko tog straha i brige

and crazy out-of-control hormones,

i ludih hormona bez kontrole,

that was instantaneously transformed into the deepest,

to se u trenutku prevorilo u najdublji,

most heartfelt, happiest cry of my life.

najljepši i najsretniji plač u mom životu.

And I had no control.

I nisam se mogla kontrolirati.

Those really hard tears,

Te teške suze,

those happy tears,

te sretne suze,

those overwhelming joyful tears,

te preplavljujuće sretne suze,

they had nowhere to go but out.

nisu imale kuda nego van.

And it was those tears,

I te suze,

that moment, that incredible high,

u tom trenu, taj neopisiv osjećaj

that inspired me to birth three more little miracles

koji me potaknuo da rodim još tri mala čuda

and start to help others have their own.

i počnem pomagati drugima da imaju svoja.

I became a childbirth educator,

Postala sam edukator o porođajima

and I started a whole new relationship with tears.

i započela potpuno novi odnos prema suzama.

It was early in my 30 years of teaching,

U 30 godina podučavanja,

I had a class touch my heart like no other.

jedan me od satova dirnuo u srce.

The topic for the night --

Tema večeri --

emotions of pregnancy, go figure.

emocije trudnoće, zamislite.

And it was important for the class

I bilo je važno

to first learn about the emotional changes and responses during pregnancy,

da prvo nauče o emotivnim promjenama i ponašanju tijekom trudnoće

and how when we cry, it can feel like the body's trying to push out

i kako kad plačemo, možemo osjećati kao da tijelo ispušta

that extra emotion,

taj višak emocija,

almost like it's processing what it can't hold inside.

kao da prerađuje ono što ne može zadržati u sebi.

Like an exhaust port for extreme feelings of sadness,

Kao ispušni otvor za teški osjećaj tuge,

joy or even relief after days,

sreće ili čak olakšanja nakon dana,

years of anticipation of that one magical moment.

godina očekivanja tog čarobnog trenutka.

It can literally feel like your body is squeezing out all that emotion

Kao da vaše tijelo istiskuje sve te emocije van

in the form of water coming from our eyes.

u obliku vode koja izlazi kroz oči.

Our tears.

Naših suza.

Now tears were always expected during my classes.

Suze su uvijek bile očekivane tijekom mojih satova.

Not mine this time, the new moms'.

Ovaj put ne moje, već novih mama.

And this night in this class,

I te večeri na tom satu,

it was way different.

bilo je potpuno drugačije.

I had just finished talking about the emotional changes of pregnancy

Baš sam završila priču o emotivnim promjenama tijekom trudnoće

and I went in to talk about the couvade syndrome.

i nastavila s pričom o Kuvada sindromu (fantomskoj trudnoći).

Now the word "couvade" comes from a French term, "couver,"

Riječ "kuvada" potječe od francuskog izraza "couver",

which means "to brood,"

što znači "sjediti na jajima",

similar to birds protecting a nest.

poput ptica koje štite gnijezdo.

Well, who better to protect this nest than the expecting mother's partner?

A tko bi to gnijezdo mogao štititi bolje nego partner buduće majke?

Also called a sympathetic pregnancy,

Drugog naziva "simpatetična trudnoća",

the couvade syndrome is a real-life phenomenon,

Kuvada sindrom je stvaran fenomen,

where the non-pregnant partner can take on pregnancy characteristics

gdje partner koji nije trudan može poprimiti karakteristike trudnoće

like mood swings, loss of sleep,

poput promjene raspoloženja, nedostatka sna,

weight gain

dobivanja na težini,

and for some, a really intense drive to do something new and unexpected,

a za neke, veliku potrebu da učine nešto novo i neočekivano,

like buy a new sports car

poput kupovanja novog sportskog automobila

or start a new hobby like gourmet cooking.

ili novog hobija poput profesionalnog kuhanja.

The class usually laughs a little bit after that

Razred se obično malo nasmije nakon toga

and that's it.

i to je to.

We end the night.

Završimo sat.

But it didn't end there.

Ali tu nije završilo.

When I finished my sentence,

Kad sam završila rečenicu,

this big, burly father-to-be stands up,

jedan jak, krupan budući otac ustane,

and I thought for sure he was leaving.

i bila sam sigurna da odlazi.

But instead, in a really gruff, commanding way, he says,

Ali umjesto toga, na grub naredbeni način kaže:

"Alright, you guys,

"Dobro, ljudi,

how many of you have cried during this thing,

koliko vas je plakalo tijekom te stvari,

you know, her pregnancy?"

znate, njezine trudnoće?"

I scan the class to make sure everybody was OK.

Bacila sam oko na razred da se uvjerim da su svi dobro.

They were fine,

Bili su u redu,

they were just very intent on what was going to happen next.

no bili su napeti da vide što će se dogoditi dalje.

And then, one gentleman raises his hand and says, "I have."

I tada jedan muškarac digne ruku i kaže: "Ja jesam."

And then another,

I tada još jedan,

and the stories just flowed.

i priče su samo stizale.

Even this really quiet gal --

Čak i jedna šutljiva cura --

she was the fiancee of one of the expecting moms --

bila je zaručnica jedne od budućih mama --

she looks at her and she says,

pogleda je i kaže:

"See? I told you my crying was normal too."

"Vidiš? Rekla sam ti da je i moj plač normalan."

The class connected,

Razred se povezao,

they validated each other,

shvatili su međusobne vrijednosti

and we all walked away with a new respect

i svi smo otišli kući s novim poštovanjem

for the non-pregnant partners that night.

za partnere koji nisu trudni.

For me, that solidified my passion to embrace those tears.

Meni je to učvrstilo strast da cijenimo te suze.

Then, it got better.

Tada je postalo bolje.

On the last night of that same six-week class,

Na posljednjoj večeri tog istog šestotjednog tečaja,

one of the expecting moms came up to me.

jedna buduća majka mi je prišla.

She asked to talk to me privately, and I said of course,

Pitala je da pričamo nasamo i ja sam naravno pristala

and we went into the corner.

pa smo otišle u kut.

And she says,

I kaže:

"I need to thank you for saving my relationship."

"Moram Vam zahvaliti što ste spasili moju vezu."

I let her go on, and she tells me

Pustila sam je da nastavi, i kaže mi

that her husband was considering leaving her

da je njen muž razmišljao da je napusti

over her mood swings,

zbog njenih promjena ponašanja,

out-of-control crying,

pretjeranog plakanja

and his turmoil and anger over this pregnancy.

i njegovog nemira i ljutnje oko ove trudnoće.

But he didn't leave.

Ali nije otišao.

She went on to tell me that they realized now it's OK to cry.

Rekla mi je da su shvatili da je normalno plakati.

And he had told her that when he cries,

I rekao joj je da kad on plače,

he doesn't feel as angry.

više se ne osjeća toliko ljuto.

Wow!

Wow!

Not only did crying bring my class together,

Ne samo da je plač ujedinio moj razred,

it kept that couple together.

nego je održao taj par zajedno.

And you know, his comment about anger was really, really intriguing to me,

I znate, njegov komentar o ljutnji me uistinu zaintrigirao

so I looked around, did some research,

pa sam malo istražila

and sure enough, Dr. Oren Hasson,

i eto dr. Orena Hassona,

an evolutionary psychologist,

evolucionarnog psihologa,

he had some theories about when tears blur our vision,

koji je imao nekoliko teorija da kad nam suze zamagle vid,

it really has the ability to, sometimes, reduce our ability to react to that anger.

doista imaju moć da ponekad smanje našu mogućnost reakcije na tu ljutnju.

But the tears weren't the anger.

Ali suze nisu bile ljutnja.

They were more like the release valve.

Bile su više poput ispušnog ventila.

And though many of us, we try to keep those tears inside,

I iako većina nas suze pokušava zadržati unutra,

but letting them out really may be the better move.

pustiti ih van bio bi bolji način postupanja.

Keeping them inside

Zadržavanje suza

can amplify our feelings of anger or sadness.

može povećati naše osjećaje ljutnje ili tuge.

And while we're releasing those tears,

I kad ispuštamo te suze,

our hormones inside, they're on high alert,

naši hormoni su na visokom stupnju,

and we know this

i to znamo

because of Dr. William Frey, a biochemist.

zbog dr. Williama Freya, biokemičara.

He found that inside of our emotional tears --

On je spoznao da unutar naših emotivnih suza --

not our everyday, like, yawning tears,

ne svakidašnjih, ono, zjevajućih suza,

but our emotional tears --

nego baš emotivnih suza --

there's high concentrations of stress hormones

postoji velika koncentracija stresnih hormona

and leucine enkephalins,

i leucinovih enkefalina,

which, easier on my tongue, is endorphins.

ili, lakše za izgovoriti, endorfina.

And while our stress hormones are helping our bodies out,

I dok naši hormoni stresa pomažu našem tijelu,

our endorphins, those feel-good chemicals,

naš endorfin, kemikalija dobrog osjećaja,

they're helping to act as a pain reliever

pomaže smanjiti bolove

to boost our mood.

kako bi nam poboljšao raspoloženje.

Now who wouldn't want that?

A tko to ne bi htio?

There are two triggers for the release of endorphins

Postoje dva razloga zbog kojih se luči endorfin

for most of us.

za većinu nas.

Stress and pain.

Stres i bol.

And for a woman giving birth,

A za ženu koja rađa,

experiencing both stress and pain,

koja osjeća i stres i bol,

endorphins, they are a gift.

endorfin je dar.

As the labor progresses,

I kako porod ide dalje,

those endorphins will rise to help her with a potentially long labor.

koncentracija endorfina će se povećati da joj olakša potencijalno dug porod.

As a result,

Zbog toga,

the mom is better able to cope,

majka se bolje nosi s time

and she can feel more alert and almost euphoric after the birth.

i može biti svjesnija i skoro euforična nakon poroda.

Crying

Plač

is just awesome.

je jednostavno super.

I wish there was a bigger word.

Da bar postoji veća riječ.

Crying offers us an opportunity for physical relief,

Plač nam pruža priliku za fizičko olakšanje,

for intimacy between two individuals

za intimu između dviju osoba

and ultimately,

i na kraju krajeva,

it promotes physical and mental well-being.

promovira fizičko i mentalno zdravlje.

And as an expression

I kao izraz

of our most intense interior human experiences,

naših najstresnijih unutrašnjih ljudskih iskustava,

there is no need to be embarrassed,

ne trebate se sramiti,

no need to be ashamed

nema razloga za sram

and no need to run away.

i nema razloga za bježanje od toga.

We need to have a healthy relationship with crying

Moramo imati zdrav odnos s plakanjem

and change the way we view tears.

i promijeniti način gledanja na suze.

We see them as overwhelming and scary and confusing,

Vidimo ih kao porazne, strašne i zbunjujuće,

when they're really beautiful,

dok su zapravo predivne,

soothing and reassuring.

umirujuće i ublažavajuće.

They're not to be seen as some screeching alarm bell

Ne treba ih se gledati kao na neki piskavi alarm

that something is wrong

koji označava da nešto nije u redu,

but rather a natural functionality

nego kao na prirodnu funkciju

of our amazing bodies.

naših nevjerojatnih tijela.

Crying is as essential to me as breathing.

Meni je plakanje toliko potrebno koliko i disanje.

And now, if I'm caught crying on that couch by my wonderful husband,

I sad, ako me muž zatekne kako plačem na onom kauču,

who has had to learn way more about crying than he ever wanted to,

koji je morao naučiti puno više nego je ikad htio o plaču,

he doesn't run away.

ne ode od mene.

He'll ask me why I'm crying,

Pita me zašto plačem,

and I'll let him know I just need my release.

i samo mu kažem da se moram isprazniti.

He'll take my hand,

Uzme mi ruku,

and you know what I'll do?

i znate što učinim ja?

I will let it all out.

Sve izbacim iz sebe.

And then I'm going to sink into that deep sense of intimacy

I tada ću zaroniti u onaj dubok osjećaj intime

and extraordinary sense of relief

i nevjerojatan osjećaj olakšanja

that only my tears can bring.

koji mi mogu donijeti samo moje suze.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.