Beach Bodies (in spoken word) - David Fasanya and Gabriel Barralaga

Transcriber: Andrea McDonough Reviewer: Bedirhan Cinar

翻译人员: Cissy Yun 校对人员: Jenny Yang

I don't know about you, but

我不知道你怎么想的

I'm trying to get this beach body,

但我正在努力地练出这海滩身段

that P90X,

90天魔鬼训练

Brad Pitt,

身材要好到像布拉德·皮特

Bradley Cooper,

像布莱德利·库珀

Tyrese,

像泰瑞斯·吉布森

Trey Songz,

还有崔·颂

Matthew McConaughey

和马修·麦康纳一样的

beach body!

海滩身段！

I'm trying to sweat in front of everybody.

我要在所有人面前挥汗如雨

Word.

And get that shorty with them Angelina Jolie lips

听我说！

让安吉丽娜朱莉的唇

to lick my torso,

掠过我的完美身体

get me looking like a wet chocolate.

让我看起来想一块诱人的黑巧克力

Look at my biceps.

看看我的二头肌

They're kind of puny.

看起来瘪瘪的

They're kind of chunky.

看起来肥肥的

But I've been working on them.

但是我一直在练呢！

We can be models.

我们可以变成模特

I could take off my shirt mad sexy.

我脱下衬衫的样子一定性感极了！

I could stare at a camera intensely

我可以帅气得盯着照相机

for 37 seconds straight and not blink.

三十七秒，眼睛一眨都不眨

I could bathe in baby oil.

我可以沐浴在婴儿润滑油里

I could run on the beach in slow motion.

还能在沙滩上慢动作奔跑

I could cat walk down a runway in zebra panties.

穿着斑马纹内裤在T台上走猫步

I can't do that.

那我可做不到

Having a slow metabolism ruins everything.

有一个较慢的新陈代谢简直毁了一切！

All my friends will be in tank tops,

我所有的朋友都穿着背心

and I'll be in a hoodie.

而我却只能穿宽大的连帽衫

I'm good at zipping up my insecurities,

我总是能很好地将我身材的“缺陷”藏起来

thinking I could sweat them out.

也许可以将这些脂肪都以汗蒸发掉呢！

I'm trying to get this beach body!

我要练出这完美身材！

I'm too skinny.

我太瘦了

I guzzle junk food like my mouth's a garbage chute,

我的嘴就像垃圾桶一样，不停得吞着垃圾食品

but my intestines are allergic to trans fat.

但我的肠道竟然对反式脂肪酸过敏

I want to be a flexing horse leg,

我想像一只弯曲的马腿一样

galloping beach sand into a red carpet,

带着我从沙滩奔向红毯

customized for me

为我私人定制的

to strut the shore side

在海滩上趾高气昂得走着

like a centaur on a conveyor belt.

像半人马兽一样

I'm trying to get this beach body,

我要练出海滩身段！

but there is salvation in snack closets,

但是在零食柜里

on licked plates of seconds,

在被舔干净的盘子中

at the bottom of a pint of ice cream.

在一桶冰激凌底下总有着救世主

I use Haagen Dazs as a morphine cylinder

我把哈根达斯冰激凌当做吗啡止痛剂一般

because she said my arms weren't strong enough to carry her.

因为她说我的手臂不够强壮，抱不动她

I think I'm weak.

我觉得我很弱

I think I'm fat.

我觉得我很肥

I think I'm ugly.

我觉得我很丑

The beach is no place for a whale like me,

沙滩上才不会有我这种像鲸鱼一样肥的人

for a mini van with its tank on E.

像是一部放在空挡上的面包车

I want to be Baywatch bareable,

我想成为“护滩使者”里的人一样

broken, bottle-cut, have you seen my muscles

你看见了我的肌肉

and my scars?

和我的伤处了吗？

You smell that?

你闻到了吗？

That's macho moisture.

我的男人味!

My hour-long work out routine consists of

我一小时的健身计划包括

5 minutes of push-ups on my bedroom floor,

在我卧室地板上做五分钟俯卧撑

a denial mirror repelling my lanky limbs;

而镜子里那精瘦的身材却让我十分郁闷

5 minutes of keeping my chin high over the bar of self doubt;

五分钟的抬高头， 免得我又变得怀疑自己，垂头丧气

10 minutes placing 100 pounds of failure on my chest

10分钟的鄙视我这“轻”有100磅的失败之躯

so it becomes the elephant in the room;

直到我无法忽视它的存在

10 minutes jogging with ghosts

10分钟的慢跑

chuckling at my chunky thighs,

听见一群小鬼嘲笑我肥壮的大腿

and I'll smile,

我会笑着锻炼

knowing I'll soon be able to fit in my old butt pants;

我知道一会儿我就可以穿进我的旧裤子里啦

30 minutes thinking sweat is a masculinity cloak.

我还会用30分钟来想 汗也许是男子气概的最佳诠释

And I'm weary from trying to work out my irrational fears,

而我对自己尝试去摆脱无端的恐惧的行为 感到十分忧愁

drown them in a puddle of perspiration,

真想把这感觉溺死在一摊汗水中

shove the imperfections I should be proud of under water:

扫开一切我不完美的地方 我也许应该为自己身上的“缺陷”感到自豪

my gap-tooth smile,

我有缝的大门牙

my frizzy hair,

我乱糟糟的头发

my funny shaped head,

我奇怪的头

the extra weight that kept me grounded,

我那将我死死压在地面上的体重

the missing pounds that make me

我那轻如鸿毛的体重

a kite flailing free through the wind,

好像可以让我随时飘在风中

not bound by muscle.

没有一点点肌肉

So, yes,

啊！

I'm trying to get this beach body,

我要练成海滩身段！

that Channing Tatum,

像钱宁·塔图姆

David Beckham,

贝克汉姆

LL Cool J

LL Cool J 一样的

beach body!

海滩身段！

But we're tired

但我们好累啊

and exhausted

筋疲力尽

from trying to be something we're not.

因为我们正在试图成为别人，不是自己