Megan McArthur: A NASA astronaut's lessons on fear, confidence and preparing for spaceflight | TED

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Amanda Zhu

Pat Mitchell: Welcome, Megan.

派特米契爾：歡迎，梅根。

Megan McArthur: Hello, Pat, thank you for having me.

梅根麥克阿瑟：嗨， 派特，謝謝邀請。

派：咱們就先從許多人 都想要問的問題開始。

PM: Let's go with the question that I think is probably coming up

for many of us.

This is unusual.

這很難得一見。

Husband and wife,

丈夫與妻子，

met during your training,

在訓練的時候相識，

and in the year that you got married,

而在你們結婚的那一年，

you both flew into space, separately.

兩人分別飛到太空。

You, on the Hubble Telescope mission

你出的任務是哈伯望遠鏡任務，

and Bob on the mission to construct the space station.

鮑伯的任務則是建造太空站。

And ironically, if your mission had gone awry or needed help,

有趣的是，如果你的任務 出狀況或需要協助，

Bob was assigned to be on the rescue craft.

鮑伯會被指派去救援。

You know, launch day is for all of us a time of great excitement, yes.

對所有人而言，發射日 都是很讓人興奮的時刻。

But also anxieties about the risk and the fear we might feel inside

但光是旁觀，想到的風險

就會讓我們內心感到焦慮以及恐懼。

just watching.

How do you prepare for launch day?

你怎麼為發射日做準備？

MMA: Well, Pat, one of the most important things to focus on for me

梅：派特，我要專注的事情當中，

was really preparing my son and making sure that he was ready

最重要的是要確保 我兒子有心理準備，

and that he enjoyed the experience of watching his father launch

能看著父親發射，並完成任務，

and complete this mission that he'd been training for,

且能夠很享受這段經歷，

really for most of our son's life.

我兒子出生後， 我先生幾乎都在受訓。

So when we walked out onto the roof of the launch control center

當我們走出去，來到 發射控制中心的屋頂上，

and we could see the rocket off in the distance

可以遠遠目送火箭，

and were lining up against the rail,

我們靠在欄杆上等待倒數，

ready for the countdown,

and of course, I got my arms around him

當然，我用手臂環抱著兒子，

and we hear, "Three, two, one, liftoff."

我們聽見：「三、二、一，發射。」

And then we see the rocket carrying his father

我們看著火箭載著他的父親

you know, jumping off the launch pad.

離開發射台。

And for me,

對我而言，

it was this moment of just an outpouring of feeling and emotion

我長期累積的感受和情緒

that had been with me for such a long time.

在這一刻通通傾倒而出。

And I'm crying and I'm laughing and I'm just shaking.

我哭、我笑、我發抖，

And so I had to let go of my son, who was fine, by the way,

所以我得放開我兒子，

他反而很好，完全沒問題。

he was completely fine.

And I’m covering up my mouth

我用手摀住嘴巴，

because I don't know what kind of sounds I'm going to make

因為面對這種徹底的恐懼 和徹底的喜悅，

with this complete terror and this complete joy

我不知道我會發出什麼聲音，

at this moment.

And thinking about what it took to get there.

想想要花多少功夫才能走到這一步。

My husband, you know, an accomplished astronaut,

我先生是個很有成就的太空人，

an experienced Air Force flight test engineer,

他是經驗老道的空軍 飛行測試工程師，

he had formerly been the chief astronaut.

他以前也擔任過首席太空人。

And I've watched him launch into space twice before.

我以前就看過他上太空兩次。

And it's been terrifying every time.

每一次我都嚇壞了。

Why is that?

為什麼會這樣？

You know, of course, I love my husband, but it's more than that.

當然，我愛我先生， 但不只是這個原因讓我害怕。

It's that I love my husband,

我愛我先生，

and right now I can't do anything at all to impact the situation.

但現在我做什麼 都無法改變那個情況。

I'm standing on a rooftop.

我站在屋頂上，我沒有工作， 我沒辦法做任何貢獻。

I have no job.

I have no way to contribute.

And so that's where for me the fear comes from

我恐懼的來源

is that feeling of helplessness.

就是那種無助感。

And so, over and over in my life, I've seen, of course,

當然，我一生中曾經 一而再再而三地見證

that training and preparation can get us ready for an event like that,

訓練和準備工作

可以讓我們為那樣的事件做好準備，

but it's having the input,

但必須要能夠投入，

having the ability to impact your situation

有能力去改變你的情況，

that is what removes the fear and balances it for you.

才能夠消除恐懼，

讓你找到平衡。

So the education, the experience, you have to have that,

所以，教育訓練和經驗是必備的，

but also having a voice, having an input,

但也要能發聲、能投入、

having a seat in the cockpit

在駕駛員座艙中有個位子， 你才能把恐懼拋諸腦後。

is what allows you to leave that fear behind.

PM: But what about your son, Megan?

派：但梅根，你的兒子呢？

He won't be there.

他不會在那裡。

He'll be on the ground watching mommy take off into space

他會在地面上，看著媽媽飛向太空

just as he watched his dad who returned safely.

就如同他看著爸爸安全返回。

But have you taken special preparations for him to see mommy doing the same?

但你幫他做了什麼特別的準備工作，

讓他能看媽媽做同樣的事嗎？

MMA: Well, his first reaction

梅：當他最初得知 媽媽也要上太空時，

when learning that mommy was going to go into space

他的第一個反應是告訴我： 「媽咪，你不能去。」

first, he told me, "No, mommy, you can't go."

That was his very first response.

那是他最初的反應。

And then as he got more comfortable with the idea,

接著，他不再那麼排斥這個想法，

you know, his dad went up and came back

因為爸爸上了太空且回來了，

and then he said, "Well, OK, you can go for 30 days,

那時候他就說：「好， 你可以去三十天，

but 180 days, that's too much.

但一百八十天實在太過份了。

You can’t, you can’t go for that long.”

你不能去那麼久。」

He's also obviously seen his father go through all of this.

很顯然，他曾經看過 他的父親走過這一切。

And so for him, it's become this normal thing.

所以對他來說，這變成是種常態。

This is a normal thing that mommy and daddy do.

那就是媽媽和爸爸平常會做的事。

We'll read stories back and forth while I'm here in Russia

當我在俄國這裡時，

我們會透過視訊來來回回唸故事書。

over video conference.

And I was given the idea to fill a jar with chocolate kisses

我想到一個點子， 把罐子裡裝滿親吻巧克力，

and then he can have a kiss from mommy every day that I'm gone.

當我不在時，他每天可以 得到一個媽咪的吻。

So he likes that idea very much.

他很喜歡那個點子。

PM: Well, just to be clear,

派：讓我說清楚，

it's a great message that this young man is getting

爸媽做同樣的工作

給了這個年輕人很棒的訊息，對吧？

about mommy and daddy doing the same job, isn't it?

And I just want to bring forward a quote

我想要引述

from the SpaceX leader Gwynne Shotwell,

SpaceX 的領導人 格溫肖特韋爾的話。

who was asked about your going, and your husband's going,

有人問她關於你和你先生 都上太空的事，

and she was questioned about your flying

她被問到你和你先生

in the same pilot seat or spacecraft as your husband.

分別乘坐同一艘太空船上太空的事。

And here was part of her answer:

以下截取自她的回答：

"I'd like to point out that, you know,

「我想要強調，

Megan is first and foremost

首先，梅根本來就是名 不折不扣的太空人，

an astronaut when it comes to our perspective."

這是我們考慮的重點。」

MMA: Well, I did want to reach through the screen

梅：當肖特韋爾女士那麼說的時候，

and high-five Ms. Shotwell when she said that,

我確實好想透過螢幕跟她擊掌，

I very much appreciated that remark.

我非常感謝她的說法。

You know, it has changed for me over the years,

對我來說，這些年有許多改變， 我第一次上太空時，

the first time I flew in space

I was married, but I was not yet a parent.

我已經結婚了，但還沒有孩子。

And both my husband and I came to NASA as single people

我和我先生到太空總署時都還單身，

and we met and married, of course, at NASA.

我們後來在太空總署相遇、結婚。

It's a different thing to take on as a family

要全家一起來承受 一件你為自己而做，

that you're doing this thing that's for yourself.

那是完全不一樣的。

那也是為了大我；

It's also kind of for the greater good.

The notion of exploration and discovery is something to engage in.

探索和發掘是值得做的事。

And I think that that example,

我想，那樣的榜樣，

you know, for my son to see

讓我兒子看見 他的父母在做這樣的事，

that his parents are engaged in this thing,

that, yes, it takes us away from him,

而這件事讓我們不能陪著他， 但我們做的這些事情都很重要。

but these are important things to do.

PM: And you were in high school, Megan,

派：梅根，你在讀高中時，

when the Challenger spacecraft tragically exploded

挑戰者號太空船發生了爆炸的悲劇，

and the whole world confronted the realities of the risk

逼全世界面對這種你和你的先生 以及其他勇敢的男女

that you and your husband

and other brave women and men are taking.

都得承受的風險。

I remember that moment

我還記得看到爆炸的那一刻，

and I still hold my breath every time during each and every launch.

所以每一次的發射過程中， 我都還是會摒息。

So how do you find the balance between knowing the risks are real

你要如何找到平衡點？

一方面知道這些風險的真實性，

and you're feeling prepared enough to do what you have to do

另一方面覺得你做的準備

足以讓你做必須要做的事 和你想要成就的事？

and what you want to accomplish?

MMA: Well, the crux of it for us for feeling prepared and participating

梅：對我們來說，覺得準備好了 且能有參與感的關鍵

is really training.

就在於訓練。

So we train our way into that seat.

我們一路經過種種訓練 才坐上那個位子。

You spend literally hundreds of hours preparing in every possible way.

你花了數百小時的時間 在各方面都做好準備。

We break down every system into bite-sized pieces, basically.

基本上，我們把每個系統 拆解成容易理解的小單元。

We have these wonderful instructors

我們有一些很棒的指導者，

who are professional instructors, basically,

他們都是職業級的，

and they know exactly what it's going to take for us

他們非常清楚要如何讓我們

to learn these systems inside and out.

裡裡外外徹底了解這些系統。

And so, sort of, one system at a time,

所以，先一次講一個系統， 再把所有系統整合起來，

and then they put all the systems together

接著，他們會想盡辦法 把可以弄壞的東西都弄壞，

and then they break every possible thing that they can think of to break

so that you have to, as a team, as a crew,

讓我們以團隊合作的方式

solve these problems and work together to get through the situation.

來解決這些問題， 並同心協力渡過難關。

And the reason that they do that

他們之所以這麼做

is not because they think those exact things are going to happen.

並不是因為他們認為 這些狀況都會發生。

It's to build you up.

重點是要讓你建立信心，

You prove to yourself that you have the ability to work

能向你自己證明，

當很糟糕的狀況發生時， 你有能力去處理，

when maybe some really terrible things are happening

and to make your situation better.

並且改善這個情況。

And the thing that's going to happen

且將來會發生的狀況，

isn't necessarily going to be the specific one

不見得一定會是哪一種，

or even hundred different scenarios that they've shown you.

也不見得是他們訓練時 用的那上百種情境。

But you have worked and you have developed your skills

但你已經投入了心力，發展了技能，

which will support you to kind of tackle any problem that you might have,

這些都能協助你處理 可能遇到的任何問題，

not just as a crew in the ship,

而且不只是和組員一起解決問題，

but now you've worked with the whole team on the ground,

也和地面上的整個團隊共事。

and you know you're going to be able to solve those situations

你知道大家能同心協力 解決那些狀況。

working together.

PM: Has there ever been a time when you felt fear,

派：你可曾感覺到恐懼，

real fear or maybe just being unprepared?

真正的恐懼，或者覺得沒有準備好？

MMA: A couple of years ago, I had the, I'll say opportunity,

梅：幾年前，我有…… 姑且說是個機會，

but I had the situation where I was "voluntold"

但當時的情況是我非自願 接下了一份助理董事的工作。

to take an assistant directorship job.

And it was something I was very reluctant to do,

那是我非常不情願去做的事。

I didn't feel prepared for it,

我覺得我還沒有準備好，

I didn't feel like I had the right skill set,

我不認為我有做這份工作 該具有的技能，

and I didn't feel like I was going to be good at it.

我也不覺得我能把它做好。

And none of those are good feelings.

上述這些全都不是很好的感覺。

There's a part in your book, Pat, where you say,

派特，在你的書裡面有一段，你說：

"I realized at some point that being ready

「我了解到，在有些情況下，

『準備好』可能意味著準備好 邊做邊快速學習。」

could mean being ready to learn quickly while doing."

And, you know, that expression,

那種說法正是身為太空人的寫照。

that's exactly what it means to be an astronaut.

I know how to do that.

這是我會做的。

I can learn on the job, I can learn quickly.

我可以在工作上學習， 我可以學得很快。

And so I did dive into this job

所以我的確投入了這份工作，

and I did learn quickly while on the job.

在工作時我也的確學得很快。

I can't say that I was the best person ever to hold that job,

我不敢說我是做過 這份工作的人當中做得最好的，

but it was important to me to do my very best

但對我而言，重要的是要全力以赴

and to be part of this new team.

以及成為這個新團隊的一部分。

Women are particularly prone to this where we think,

女性特別有產生有這種想法的傾向：

"Oh, I haven't had training for that, I haven't had a job like that before.

「我沒受過那方面的訓練， 以前沒做過類似的工作。

我辦不到。」

I can't do it."

但你辦得到。 你已經發展出來的各種技能

But you can do it.

You take all of the skills that you've developed

以及你在做的所有各種事情， 都可以成為你的後盾，

and all of the other things that you're doing,

and you use those to support you while you're learning quickly while doing.

幫助你邊做邊快速學習。

PM: Such good advice, Megan,

派：很棒的建議，梅根。

我不會邊飛向太空邊學習，

I won't be learning by doing flying into space,

but taking that knowledge that we can learn by doing

不過，知道我們能夠邊做邊學

and we can be prepared, so important.

且我們能夠讓自己準備好， 這些都是很重要的。

How would you describe the changes in you personally

你會如何形容你的改變？

你個人在離開地球之後有什麼轉變？

from being off this Earth?

MMA: But in the very beginning, when I first launched into space,

梅：在最一開始， 當我第一次發射進入太空，

you're very busy, you know,

是非常忙碌的，

on this spaceship that's just gone through a launch sequence

這艘太空船才剛剛經過發射程序，

and you have to turn your spaceship into an orbiting platform.

你得要把你的太空船轉變成 在軌道上運行的平台。

And so you're very busy.

會超忙，所以我們有很多手冊， 我們集中精力在看這些手冊，

So we have these books and we're heads down in the books

我們要遵照一大堆步驟， 操作各種開關，載入電腦程式。

and we're going through all the steps and moving switches

and loading computer programs.

我只有非常短暫的時間 可以看向窗外，

And I only had a brief moment of time to kind of look out the window

說：沒錯，那就是地球的所在， 那正是它該出現的位置，

and say, yep, that's where the Earth is, that's exactly where it should be,

且它看起來和我成長過程中 看過的照片完全一樣。

and that's how it's looked in all of the pictures I've seen growing up.

然後我就馬上回去工作了。

And I got right back to work.

And so it wasn't until I had more of an opportunity

我真正比較有機會

to gaze out the window for a while

可以花點時間凝視窗外，

while I was operating the robotic arm that I could really observe the Earth.

是我在操作機械手臂時，

那時我才能真正去觀察地球。

I remember so clearly the first time I saw a lightning storm

我還能清楚記得，我第一次看到

橫跨一大片海洋的狂風暴雨，

across a huge expanse of the ocean

and the lightning, it appeared in different colors,

閃電還有不同的顏色，

and it lights up the inside of the clouds

讓雲的內部亮起來，

and it makes this kind of, you know, dramatic pattern.

創造出很戲劇化的花樣。

It was like having your own laser light show laid out below you.

就好像你底下正在演出 你專屬的雷射燈光秀。

And the realization struck me that this is not static.

我忽然領悟到，

這不是靜態的。

This is not a photo.

這不是一張照片。

This is our Earth, it's a real living system.

這是我們的地球， 它是個活生生的世界。

It's hard to describe how impossibly thin it looks to you

很難描述

在你眼中看起來， 大氣層薄得多麼不可思議，

with the vast blackness of space on one side

一邊是浩瀚的太空，一片漆黑，

and our beautiful Earth on the other side

另一邊則是我們美麗的地球，

and this just incredibly thin layer of atmosphere

夾在中間是極薄的一層大氣，

that's all that's keeping us and all of us alive

所有人，地球上所有的生命形式 能夠活著靠的全是這麼薄的大氣，

and every life form on Earth,

that's all that's keeping us alive.

我們能活著，靠的全是它。

And it's a very visceral reaction,

從骨子裡會產生一種反應，

this very strong urge to want to protect

會有強烈的衝動想要保護 這艘「地球號太空船」，

the Spaceship Earth that we're all you know,

你我都是這艘太空船上的成員，

you and I are both crew members here,

and, you know, we've all got to work together

我們大家得要合作照顧好這艘 載著我們在宇宙中前行的太空船。

to take care of this ship that we're moving on

through the universe.

看到那個景象所產生的 這種反應非常強大。

So it was a very powerful response to seeing that.

PM: Thank you for your work, Megan.

派：梅根，謝謝你所做的。

And what do you say, "Safe flight?"

你們會怎麼說？航程平安？

Is there ...?

有沒有……？

MMA: We say Godspeed

梅：我們說一路順風，

or we say ad astra -- to the stars.

或「航向星際」的拉丁文 「ad astra」。

PM: Ad astra, to the stars, Godspeed, Megan McArthur.

派：Ad astra，航向星際， 一路順風，梅根麥克阿瑟。

謝謝。

Thank you.

梅：非常謝謝你，派特。

MMA: Thank you so much, Pat.