D-L Stewart: Scenes from a Black trans life | TED

翻译人员: Zara Hong 校对人员: Yu Xie

Hello.

大家好。

Hey.

嘿。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

As you just heard,

就如之前介绍的那样，

my name is D-L Stewart,

我的名字叫 D·L·斯图尔特 （D-L Stewart）。

and I'm a faculty member here on campus at Colorado State University.

我是科罗拉多州立大学 的一名教职员工。

But what's most important for you to understand about me right now

但是此刻对于你们来说， 关于我最重要的一点就是——

is that I identify as both Black

我既是一名黑人，

and as transgender, or trans.

也是一名变性人。

And yes, I'm going to talk to you today about how Black trans lives matter.

那么今天我就要来讲讲， 为什么非裔变性人的生命也很重要。

As I do so,

为了达到上述目的，

I'm going to share a few scenes from my own life,

我将分享给你们 我生活的一些片段，

mixed in with the ways

并且我将其杂糅在探讨

that race and gender have historically and currently intersected

种族和性别是在历史上 以及当代是如何

to shape the lives of Black trans people.

一步步地塑造 非裔变性人的生活这一点的。

Ready?

准备好了吗？

Audience: Ready.

观众：准备好了。

DLS: Scene one.

斯图尔特：片段一。

I am at home with myself.

我独自一人在家。

My body, a sovereign country.

我的身体 就是一个主权国家。

Sovereign meaning

主权意味着

it is superlative in quality.

一种最美好、

Of the most exalted kind.

最崇高的品质。

Having generalized curative powers of an unqualified nature,

它囊括了无止境的治愈型力量，

unmitigated,

纯粹的、

paramount,

至尊的、

possessed of supreme power,

拥有至高权力，

unlimited in extent, absolute.

当然， 也不受限制。

Enjoying autonomy,

享受着自治、

independent,

独立、

royal.

高贵。

My body defies the restrictions

我的身体抗拒着

of a society consumed by boxes and binaries

被条条框框和二元论 束缚的社会，

and "are you a boy or a girl?"

还有类似于“你是男生还是女生” 这样无聊的问题。

Independent of such conventions,

不受这些惯例所约束，

my body clings instead to the long ago lore

我的身体紧紧依附于 古老的传说，

that understood its magic.

懂得它神奇之处的传说。

I contain multitudes.

我海纳百川， 包罗万象。

From this supreme power to name myself,

得益于这种至高权力， 我命名我自己，

define myself and be myself,

定义我自己， 成为我自己。

I stake a claim to myself

我对我自己宣告主权，

and organize my resistance.

从此开始了我的抗争，

A resistance that boldly proclaims that Black trans lives matter.

大胆宣告非裔变性人 生命的重要性的抗争。

My body is a sovereign country

我的身体 是一个主权国家，

and my first site of resistance.

也是我抗争的第一站。

End scene.

片段结束。

To say that Black trans lives matter is a claim to sovereignty.

强调非裔变性人生命的重要性 也是对主权的宣告。

As much as Black Girl Magic, and #transisbrilliant,

就像是黑人女孩魔力和 #变性人棒呆了（#transisbrilliant）一样。

Black Trans Lives Matter is also a chorus of resistance.

强调非裔变性人生命的重要性 是一首有关抗争的合唱曲。

Because Black trans lives begin by defining our bodies

因为它开始于 我们定义自己身体

as sovereign countries

为主权国家的那一瞬间。

from which we first begin to resist the messages

也是从这时候开始， 我们开始反抗

that we have no place here.

那些声称我们在这里 无立足之地的话语。

We push whole movements forward on the strength of our vision.

我们通过我们的视野 推动了整个运动的进程。

We set trends and create new worlds.

我们引领趋势， 创造全新的世界。

We are the vanguard.

我们是先锋队。

Black trans lives have always mattered.

非裔变性人的生命 一直以来都是很重要的。

And yet,

然而，

caught at the time-traveling intersection

就如同被困在

of Juneteenth emancipation celebration

六月解放日

and Stonewall's emancipation declaration,

和石墙杰克逊解放宣言 的十字路口间，

Black trans lives are both seen but yet unseen.

非裔变性人的存在 虽已为人所知晓，却依然被忽视。

Unseen by the antiblackness of queer and trans movements.

被反黑人的同性恋 和变性人运动所忽视。

Unseen by the transphobia and trans-antagonism of Black movements.

被患有跨性别恐惧症和 反变性人的黑人运动所忽视。

Our sovereignty and resistance are blocked

我们的主权和抵抗的信号

by layers of systems and structures

被各种体制和结构的 各种阶级所屏蔽。

that have always sought

他们总是寻找着

to contain, define and erase Black trans bodies.

遏制、定义和抹杀 非裔变性人的方法。

Scene two.

片段二。

I am with my therapist.

我和我的心理治疗师在一起。

The one whose testimony I must rely on

我必须依靠她的证词

to declare me man enough to have my documents changed.

来证明我是一个男人， 才能更改我的档案。

The one who is to be believed.

只有她会被信任。

Despite my own declarations that I am not this body,

尽管我自己已声明 我不属于这个身体。

that this body is neither hers nor yours to define,

但这个身体也不能由她们， 或者你们来定义。

I sit with this doctor.

我和这位医生坐在一起。

And she fills out a form for me.

她为我填写了一个表。

And when concerning what all I've done

当谈到我为确认性别

to affirm my gender,

所做的一切，即

"Has the patient's gender presentation

“患者的性别表现

aligned with their gender identity?"

是否与他们的性别认同相符？”

She decides that my gender presentation

她认为我的性别表现

is more neutral, really.

居然是，更偏向中性。

While I sit there, mind you,

我坐在那里—— 请注意——

head to toe in clothing from the section of the store

我从头到脚

where the dress buttons go down the right side,

都穿着商店里男装区的衣服，

and my pants give away the number of inches around my waist,

我的裤子比我的腰围 大了好几英寸。

and my hair is cut like Denzel's "Man on Fire,"

甚至是我的发型也和《怒火救援》里的 丹泽尔·华盛顿同款。

but I'm still more neutral.

但即使这样，我的性别表现 依旧被认为是中性。

Really?

不是吧？

Because she still sees,

因为她看到的依旧

and you see,

和你们所看到的一样，

a Black woman.

一个黑人女性。

And Black women's bodies are always already made genderless.

黑人女性的身体 总是会弱化性别表现。

End scene.

片段结束。

From mammy and Sapphire,

从黑人保姆到萨菲尔， （均是对黑人女性的刻板印象）

to Mandingo and Sambo,

从曼丁哥人（西非黑人民族） 到混血黑人，

Black bodies and our genders have been caught in the white imagination.

黑人的身体和性别 都只被限制在白人的想象里。

And the imagination of whiteness is fanciful,

这种白人的想象 天马行空，

and powerful enough to turn its fancies into realities.

而且强大到可以 把这种想象变成现实。

Imagined as a thing,

被想象成某物，

we were made to become that thing,

我们就被迫成为某物，

and so we have been bred like horses,

因此我们像马一样被培育；

fed like turtles to alligators,

像乌龟和鳄鱼一样被喂养；

branded like cattle,

像牛一样被贴上标签；

milked like sows,

像母猪一样被牟利；

made into oxen to plow.

像公牛一样去耕种。

Gender did not matter,

性别不会变得重要，

so long as our body parts,

只要我们的身体部位——

our arms and legs and backs,

我们的胳膊、腿和后背；

our breasts and genitalia

我们的乳房和生殖器

could be turned into profit.

依然有可能会被当作商品。

The Black body was made not white

黑人的身体生来 就不是白色的，

and therefore not worthy of gender.

因此也不值得谈论性别。

And under the weight of the gentile tulle

在用非犹太人的薄纱

and virginal lace that dressed plantation mistresses,

和清纯的蕾丝装扮自己的 种植园女主人所带来的压力下，

Black femininity has always been denied.

黑人女性的权利总是被剥夺。

Instead, she is either beast or porn star.

取而代之的是， 她要么是野兽，要么是艳星。

Neither a proper gender, dehumanized.

既没有享有正确的性别， 也没有享有人类的待遇。

Made a social threat that endangers civility.

被迫成为危害文明进程

That puts civilization in danger.

以及威胁社会一般的存在，

The angry Black woman cannot be escaped.

愤怒的黑人女性 无法逃离困境。

Not even by a first lady of these United States.

甚至是美国的第一夫人 也不例外。

Likewise, ill-suited for chivalry

同样的， 不合时宜的骑士精神，

and outmatched as masters and captains of fate,

虽然他们成为了命运的主宰，

Black manhood lays flaccid

但黑人男性的气概

in the hands of white man's dominance.

在白人的主导下 依旧不堪一击。

Body measurements taken,

身体被测量，

speed measured,

速度被检测，

draft pick forecasted.

选秀被预测，

This is the NFL combine.

这组成了美国国家橄榄球联盟 (National Football League）。

Body measurements taken,

身体被测量，

teeth and body cavities inspected,

牙齿和身体的腔体被检查，

number assigned.

数字被指定，

This is the prison intake room.

这就是监狱牢房。

Body measurements taken,

身体被测量，

talents and abilities advertised,

天赋和能力被谕知，

teeth and body cavities inspected,

牙齿和身体腔隙被检查，

name and value assigned.

名字和价值被指定，

This is a slave's bill of sale.

这就是贩卖黑奴的账单。

Made either stud or farce, he is not for his own pleasure,

无论是当牛做马 还是哗众取宠，

but rather for profit and jest.

他们不再属于自己， 而是成为了赚钱的工具和笑柄。

Athletes and comics

运动员和喜剧演员

contained.

也包括在内。

Made not a threat.

他们不再是威胁。

"My gender is Black," said Hari Ziyad,

“我的性别是黑人。” 哈里·齐亚德 （Hari Ziyad）如是说。

because Black bodies and our genders have been caught

因为黑人的身体和性别

都被掌控在白人的想象中，

in the white imagination,

and we have always been transgressive.

而且我们一直都具有性别侵略性。

Transgressive meaning

性别侵略性的意思是，

a violation of accepted and imposed boundaries of social acceptability.

对社会可接受性的公认界限 和强加界限的侵犯。

Blackness is transgressive.

黑人是具有性别侵略性的。

And once set free

一旦他们从

from social acceptability,

社会可接受性中获得自由，

blackness challenges the limitations of what gender can be.

黑人就会去挑战 性别带来的限制。

We have always been fugitives here.

我们在这儿始终是逃亡者。

Escaping from gender surveillance

从对性别的监视中逃离，

to claim our sovereignty

奔向我们的主权，

and right to exist and to live free,

存在的权利，和生活的自由。

to proclaim as beautiful

我们可以赞颂

that which was made ugly,

之前被认为是 丑陋事物的美丽。

to defy convention,

我们可以向传统发起挑战——

Black lives and trans lives and Black trans lives.

非裔的生命，变性人的生命， 还有非裔变性人的生命都很重要。

And yet, in this world, that fact

然而， 在这个世界上，

that Black trans lives make a difference,

非裔变性人的存在带来了变化，

make differences

带来了改变，

and make a matter of mattering is doused by the fire hoses

举足轻重的满腔热忱

of past and current denials

被过去和现在的否定所浇灭，

of our rights to exist and resist.

被我们存在和抵抗的权利所浇灭。

We must fight to be seen

我们必须努力抗争， 以赢得重视，

as we see through fences

因为我们只能透过重重围墙，

into the play yards that we are kept out of.

才能看到那不允许我们 接近的游乐场。

Scene three.

片段三。

I am at school.

我在学校里。

The bell rings, it's recess.

响铃了， 到课间休息的时间了。

We line up to go outside.

我们排好队到外面去。

Those made boys on one side,

男生排在一侧，

those made girls on the other.

女生排在另一侧。

We file out of the doors.

我们鱼贯而出。

The boys stopping to fill in the closed off street.

男生们停下脚步， 进入了一个无人的街道。

The girls and I,

女生们，还有我，

walking across the street.

穿过了街道。

"Keep your eyes straight ahead," we are told.

“目视前方。” 我们被一再叮嘱。

Because there's a park across the street.

因为街道那边就有一个公园，

But there is a wrought iron fence that encloses that park.

但是却被锻铁栅栏围住了。

This is where the girls and I play.

我和女生们就在那里玩。

Mostly, I stand at the fence and watch,

大多数时候， 我就站在栅栏边看着，

as my fellows play ball in the street

我的同伴们却在街上踢球，

and be loud

她们大声叫喊、

and be rough

粗犷豪迈、

and be sweaty,

大汗淋漓，

and I am behind the fence.

而我却被困在了栅栏后面。

Accused of thinking naughty thoughts.

他们因太淘气而被指责。

They have no idea.

他们一无所知。

End scene.

片段结束。

Sissified and bulldaggered, we are all made up.

温婉端庄或泼辣豪放， 这就是我们。

Just boys in dresses and girls in suits,

男生穿裙子也好， 女生穿西装也罢，

the Black transgressive body

非裔变性人的身体，

caught in fantasies of boxes and binaries

被条条框框所限制，

that make our genitalia representative of our gender,

这些条条框框认为我们的生殖器 代表了我们的性别，

and our mannerisms our sexuality.

我们的风格和性欲。

Black trans lives are therefore written off as merely gay effeminate

非裔变性人因此 被看成不过是娘娘腔男同，

or lesbian butch.

或者是大老粗女同。

And the overlay of femininity on bodies marked as male,

虽然外在是男性， 当然也是人类的

女性身体，

and therefore as man,

adheres like a "kick me" sign,

就像是一个 “踢我吧”标志一样，

except the consequences are much more deadly.

只不过它的后果更加致命。

The majority of trans people murdered in this country are Black trans women.

这个国家被谋杀的变性人中， 大多数都是非裔女变性人。

Because when manhood is located between one's legs,

因为男子气概 仅由其双腿间的部位决定，

and defined in opposition to womanhood,

没有该部位则是女性。

what's between one's legs

双腿间的部位，

cannot be seen as having anything in common with womanhood.

不应该和是否为女性挂钩。

And this same acidic wash serves to blanch trans masculinity,

这种酸性言论同样在 腐蚀着变性人的男子气概，

making it fade into nothingness.

使其化为虚无。

Black trans men become illusions of manhood,

非裔男变性人 变成了男子气概的幻想，

women merely playing at being men because you can't get a real man.

女人不能扮演男性角色， 因为其不能成为真正的男人。

Forever put in our place,

永远是这样，

we are indelibly marked as "woman."

我们被当成女性的事实无法改变。

And at best, the looming threat of Black trans manhood

最好的情况也不过是， 有关黑变性人男子气概的紧迫威胁，

is contained, inoculated,

被压制，被灌输，

made more neutral, really.

他们被迫成为中性。

Scene four.

片段四。

I am with my therapist.

我和我的心理治疗师在一起。

I tell her what I think about,

我告诉她我在想些什么，

as my body begins to slowly morph into another version of itself.

因为我的身体正在悄然发生变化。

What will happen as I move

如果我刚逃离出

社会对愤怒的黑人女性的威胁，

from the social threat of angry Black womanhood

却又被紧随其后的武力警告所胁迫， 会发生什么呢？

to the physical threat of looming Black manhood?

When will my neighbors forget to recognize me and my pit bull?

我的邻居们什么时候才能 忘记我和我的斗牛犬呢？

They've seen us nearly every day,

他们几乎每天都能见到我们，

predawn or after twilight,

尤其是破晓时分或黄昏之后，

for what will have been over two years by then?

这样子的两年过去了， 之后会发生什么？

When and how soon

什么时候，还要多久，

after I am no longer misgendered woman

在我的性别不再是 错误的女性之后，

will the cops be called to come and contain

警察才会被召集过来，

and erase my presence?

取消、更改我的身份呢？

How soon before the purse clutching,

我还要紧紧抓着我的手提包，

the sidewalk crossing?

走在这条人行道上多久？

What does it mean to become a brute?

成为一个禽兽意味着什么呢？

To turn my body into another kind of threat?

难道把我的身体 转变成另一种威胁吗？

She's stunned that I'm already recognizing this.

心理咨询师发现我意识到 这一点而感到惊讶。

I can't afford not to.

我并不想，但我必须如此。

End scene.

片段结束。

Who can see me and my Black trans kin in the skin we are in?

谁能透过我的肤色 真正看到我和我的变性人群体？

Who dares to love us,

谁有勇气能够爱我们？

who holds us close?

谁会和我们紧紧相拥？

To whom do we matter other than to ourselves?

我们会有机会找到一个 爱他更甚于自己的那个人呢？

We're not looking for saviors.

我们不是在寻找救世主。

We have each other.

我们拥有彼此。

As Lilla Watson said,

就像是莉拉·沃森 (Lilla Watson) 所说的那样，

"If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time.

“如果你来这帮助我， 你是在浪费时间。

But if you have come because you recognize

但是如果你来是因为 你意识到了，

your liberation is bound up in mine,

你我的自由休戚相关，

then let us work together."

那么， 就让我们并肩作战吧！

Let us work together to make Black trans lives matter.

让我们并肩作战， 努力让非裔变性人的生命变得重要，

The lived experience of Black trans people

让非裔变性人的人生经历

out into the world.

影响到全世界。

And if you believe that your liberation is bound up with mine,

如果你相信， 你我的自由休戚相关，

then I invite you

那么我将邀请你，

to make Black Trans Lives Matter your personal ethic

把非裔变性人生命的重要性 上升为你的个人道德准则，

by being transformative,

只要你能

loudly and mindfully.

勇敢谨慎地变通。

You can do that in three ways.

你可以通过三种方式来这样做。

Transform your thinking about blackness and gender.

改变你关于黑人和性别的看法，

Be loud by taking the risk

勇敢冒险，

to confront false assumptions and other's fears and biases.

去面对错误的想法 以及他人的恐惧和偏见。

Be mindful and pay attention and believe

小心谨慎，

what Black trans people say about our own lives.

相信非裔变性人 关于自己生命的话语。

Being transformative loudly and mindfully

勇敢谨慎地变通，

takes practice.

多做尝试。

Just like getting someone's pronouns right.

就像是正确说出某人的代词。

Mine are they, them, their, and he, him, his, by the way.

顺便提一句，我的人称代词是 "他们、他们的、他、他的"。

And getting someone's pronouns right

正确说出人称代词，

and being transformative loudly and mindfully matters.

还有勇敢谨慎地变通 都是很重要的，

Because Black trans lives matter.

因为非裔变性人的生命的确很重要。

My life matters.

我的生命很重要。

My body is a sovereign country,

我的身体是一个主权国家，

and my first site of resistance.

也是我抗争的第一站。

(Applause)

（掌声）