Christina Costa: How gratitude rewires your brain | TED

Transcriber:

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

When I was middle school science teacher,

我在中學當科學教師的時候，

I would often ask my students to kiss their brain.

我通常會叫我的學生 去親吻他們的大腦。

I got this idea from visiting my friend's kindergarten classroom.

我的這個點子來自於我去 造訪我朋友的幼稚園教室。

She would ask her students to kiss their brain,

她會叫她的學生去親吻他們的大腦。

and they would take their fingers,

他們會用手指頭輕碰他們的嘴巴，

tap them to their mouth and then to the top of their head.

接著輕碰頭頂，

And it truly was as cute as you can picture it to be.

那畫面真的就是各位 想像中的那麼可愛。

So I decided to bring it back to my middle school classroom,

所以我決定把它帶回我的中學教室，

which could have gone one of two ways,

可能會有兩種結果，

but it ended up being a really fun ritual for us, too.

但最後我們也把它當成 很有趣的儀式。

And I would ask them to kiss their brain for all the work they did in class

我會要他們為了他們 在課堂上所做的一切

as a practice of gratitude.

親吻他們的大腦，以表示感激。

After teaching middle school,

離開中學教職之後，我回到 研究所攻讀心理學博士學位。

I came back to grad school to get my PhD in psychology.

My research is within the area of positive psychology,

我的研究領域是正向心理學，

which is the science that investigates the strengths and factors

它是種科學，研究哪些長處和因素

that allow individuals and communities to thrive.

能協助個人和社區成功。

I also get to teach psychology to undergrad students

我也可以教大學生和高中生心理學。

and high school students.

I love teaching psych,

我熱愛教心理學，

and my absolute favorite unit to teach In Intro Psych is the brain.

基礎心理學當中我最喜歡 教的單元就是大腦。

But while I love teaching about the brain,

但，雖然我喜歡教大腦的主題，

I thought it would be pushing it to ask my undergrads, aka adults,

我仍然覺得要叫已經成人的大學生

去親吻他們的大腦是有點踩線了。

to kiss their brains.

所以，三年過去了， 我才想起了那有趣的句子。

So three years would go by

before I would remember that fun phrase.

One day after teaching last year,

去年某一天的課後，

I had a terrible migraine that left half of my face numb

我發生嚴重的偏頭痛， 導致我左臉麻木，視線模糊。

and blurred my vision.

The migraines kept happening.

偏頭痛不斷發生。

I saw multiple doctors,

我看了好幾個醫生，

and then I started experiencing dizzy spells.

我開始會有暈眩發作。

The neurologist ordered an MRI,

神經科醫生安排了 MRI，

and I remember being so excited

我記得我當時好興奮，

because then I would be able to use my own brain pictures

因為那樣我就可以 用我自己的大腦影像

when I taught brain imaging to my students.

來教我學生腦部顯影。

But as it turns out,

但，結果發現，

my MRI wasn't too picture perfect.

我的 MRI 影像並不完美。

The doctor called me and asked me to go to the ER

醫生打電話給我，要我去急診室，

because there was a large mass in the right hemisphere of my brain,

因為我的右半腦有個很大的腫塊。

and that's where I saw the image for the first time.

那是我第一次看見這張影像。

I have never been more scared in my life than I was that night,

那晚是我人生中最害怕的一刻，

and with tears dripping down my face,

我淚流不止，

in the hospital,

在醫院裡，我親吻了我的大腦，

I kissed my brain for the first time

我離開中學教室之後 就沒這麼做過了。

since I had left my middle school classroom.

I made it my mantra,

我把它變成我的真言， 且每天親吻我的大腦，

and I kissed my brain every single day,

leading up to and after surgery.

一直到手術日，之後也持續下去。

Then, two weeks later, after surgery,

接著，兩週後，手術後，

the pathology reports came back

病理報告出來了，

and I was diagnosed with an anaplastic astrocytoma.

我被診斷出分化不良星形細胞瘤。

The weeks following were very difficult.

接下來的幾週非常辛苦。

I tried to figure out what I was struggling with the most

我試著弄清楚當時 讓我最掙扎的是什麼，

by looking back on all the things I had been writing about this experience.

所以我回頭看我過去所有 針對這次經歷寫下的文字。

I wrote and posted this on Instagram

收到病理報告的約一週後 我在 IG 上寫下這段文字：

about a week after I received that pathology report:

"I will keep fighting.

「我會繼續奮戰，

I will keep loving, I will keep living,

我會繼續去愛，我會繼續生活，

I will keep loving. I will keep living."

我會繼續去愛，我會繼續生活。」

And then about a week after that, I wrote this:

大約再一週後，我寫了這段文字：

"Fighter.

「鬥士。我試穿了這個身分， 想看看感覺如何，

I tried it on to see how it felt

because I kept hearing those words next to my name,

因為我不斷聽到這個詞 和我的名字一起出現，

like a job, like an identity, like a role.

好似一份工作、 一個身分、一個角色。

Fighter.

鬥士。

I look at myself in the mirror.

我看著鏡中的自己。

It felt OK at first,

一開始感覺還好，

but soon it became exhausting,

但很快就變得十分累人，

too heavy to lift,

重到舉不起，多到扛不了，

too much to carry, too burdensome to bear.

我承受不了這個擔子。

I took it off and left it on the floor.

我把它脫下來，留在地上。

War was not for me.

我不適合打仗。

A body is not a battlefield."

身體不是戰場。」

I realized that I had been introduced to the fight narrative.

我發現，我接觸到了 這種戰鬥的說法。

When people heard my diagnosis, I became a fighter.

當大家知道我的診斷之後， 我就成了鬥士。

"You're a fighter," "Keep fighting,"

「你是個鬥士。」「繼續戰鬥。」

"Beat this tumor," were the top comments.

「擊倒這腫瘤。」這些是最常見的。

And then there was the internet,

然後還有網路，我在那裡拼命地尋找

the place I so desperately searched

for people who were doing well with their diagnosis.

被診斷出來但仍然過得很好的人。

But the top hashtags to search for were #braintumorssuck,

但最熱門的搜尋井號標籤 是

#腦瘤爛透了、#癌症爛透了， 以及 #癌症鬥士。

#cancersucks and #cancerfighter.

I understand completely why those hashtags exist,

我完全了解為什麼 會有那些井號標籤，

but I was so eager to find the hashtag

但我很迫切想要找到的井號標籤是

#hiIhaveabraintumorthatmightnevergoaway andImstilllivingandthriving

#嗨我有可能永遠不會消失的 腦瘤而我仍然好好地活著，

and I guess there just isn't a ring to that one.

我猜，大概沒有這種標籤的圈子吧。

I hated the idea that I was going to be at war with my brain

我討厭「我必須要和我的 大腦開戰」這種想法，

because I had spent months and years kissing it instead.

因為數個月、數年來 我反而都在親吻它。

I hated the suggestion of naming my tumor something awful

我討厭「給我的腫瘤取個 可怕的名字」這種建議，

because the reality is

因為，現實是，在我的餘生， 它都會一直是我的鄰居。

that it was going to be my neighbor for the rest of my life,

and I hated the guided imagery training

我也討厭導引式意象訓練，

that asked me to picture chemo as an army coming to battle the cancer cells

因為訓練要我把化療想像成 軍隊，要來大戰癌症細胞，

because I didn't want to spend over a year of my life

因為我不想花我人生中一年多的時間

at war with my own body.

和我自己的身體打戰。

I can see how these elements of the fight narrative

我能了解為什麼戰鬥說法的這些元素

can be empowering for people,

能給人力量，

but for me, I knew it wasn't going to work.

但對我是行不通的。

So I started to reference well-being practices

我開始參考我從我自己的研究中 所學到的幸福實做法。

that I had learned from my own studies.

Doctors always laugh with me

醫生總是和我一起開懷大笑，

when they find out that I'm a bio-psych and neuroscience major

因為他們發現我主修 生物心理學和神經科學，

and psych PhD student.

且是心理學博士生。

Then when they ask what I'm studying

當他們問我，我在研究什麼， 我告訴他們我研究的是

and I tell them I study resilience and well-being,

恢復力和幸福，他們又會 笑起來並說類似這樣的話：

they either laugh again, say something like,

"Oh, that's irrelevant,"

「喔，那不重要。」

or go, "Aw."

或者說「啊。」

The irony was never lost on me.

我總是會注意到這當中的諷刺。

I have read so many stories and studies of resilience,

我讀過這麼多關於 恢復力的故事和研究，

but I never pictured the day that I would have to personally experience it.

但我從來沒有料到 有一天我得親身體驗它。

I read and taught about gratitude practices,

我讀過也教過用感激實做法 來當作幸福的策略，

specifically as a well-being strategy,

and even though I knew the positive effects,

雖然我知道它有正面的效果，

I had never seriously practiced them myself.

我自己從來沒有認真做過。

I started to incorporate some of these exercises into my life.

我開始把這類練習 整合到我的生活中。

I tried to stop focusing on what my body had done "wrong"

我試著不要把焦點放在 我的身體做「錯」了什麼，

and focus on the gratitude I had for my body instead.

改放在我對我的身體有多感激。

And really, I realized this is something I had been doing

我發現，手術前後那段時間 當我在親吻我的大腦時

when I was kissing my brain those days

其實就是在做這件事。

leading up to and after surgery.

Gratitude became the tool

感激變成了一種工具，

that helped me restructure my vision of illness and disability

它協助我重新建構關於 疾病和失去能力的看法，

when the world was telling me I should fight it instead.

而全世界卻在叫我要去對抗它。

Instead of thinking about if I would be able to have kids one day,

我不再去想我將來是否能生孩子，

I thought of how amazing it was that my brain, despite its trauma,

我想的是我的大腦多麼了不起，

儘管有這樣的創傷，

was able to deliver the perfect amount of hormones to my body

還能夠將完美份量的荷爾蒙 遞送給我的身體，

to produce enough eggs to save for a later date.

讓我產生足夠的卵子， 保存到將來使用。

Every time I went to radiation and was put in my mask,

每當我去接受放射線 治療，戴上面罩，

I kissed my brain and I focused on the resident

我會親吻我的大腦，

然後專注聽住院醫生告訴我

telling me how the healthy cells would be able to repair over time

健康的細胞會隨著時間而修復，

and the cancer cells could not.

癌細胞則不會。

And when the operative notes came back for my surgery,

當我的手術記錄報告出來時，

a day that I remember very well and had been scared to think about,

我忘不了這一天，且很害怕去想它，

I read the note out loud,

我把記錄大聲唸出來，

sobbing, happy and grateful tears,

聲音哽咽，流著快樂和感恩的眼淚，

thinking about what my neurosurgeon's team did.

想著我的神經外科團隊所做的一切。

I started to feel such an immense sense of gratitude

我開始感受到極大的感激，

for science, medicine and my medical team,

感謝科學、醫學，和我的醫療團隊，

that those thoughts started to drown out

那些想法開始壓過那種 「我的人生會變怎樣」的想法。

the "What is my life going to be like?" thoughts.

The more I practiced gratitude, the more peace I felt in my situation,

我越是練習感激，

在我的處境中就越能感到平靜，

and this got me interested in what could be happening

這讓我開始好奇，在神經學層級上

with the science of gratitude at a neurological level.

感激的科學會是什麼樣子的？

There are several positive psychological and social outcomes of gratitude,

感激會造成數個 心理和社會的正面結果，

like increases in happiness, decreases in depression,

比如，快樂增加，憂鬱降低，

having stronger relationships and experiencing positive emotion.

關係更穩固，及感受到正面的情緒。

And fMRI studies show us

而 fMRI（功能性磁振造影） 研究指出

that several parts of our brain and pathways are activated

大腦有好幾個部分和通路

when we experience and express gratitude.

會在我們感受和表達感激時被啟動。

One of these parts is the medial prefrontal cortex,

其中一部分是內側前額葉皮質，

an area associated with the management of negative emotions.

這個區域與負面情緒的管理相關。

Together, these changes in neurotransmitters and hormones

加在一起，

神經傳遞質和荷爾蒙的改變

combined with activated neural pathways,

再加上啟動的神經通路，

help us cognitively restructure potentially harmful thoughts

能協助我們在認知上 重新調整可能有害的想法，

to better manage our circumstances.

把我們的情況處理得更好。

And the cool thing is

很酷的是，

that we can intentionally activate these gratitude circuits in our brain.

我們可以刻意去啟動 大腦中的這些感激迴路。

In general, the more we do something, the easier it becomes,

一般來說，越常去做的事 就會變得越容易，

and our brains work the same way.

大腦也是這樣運作的。

The more we activate these gratitude circuits,

我們越常去啟動這些感激迴路，

the less effort it takes to stimulate those pathways the next time,

下次刺激這些通路就會更不費力，

and the stronger those pathways become.

那些通路也會變得更強。

Neuroplasticity is a term I teach my students

我會教學生神經可塑性這個詞，

that refers to our brain's ability to form new neural connections throughout life.

指的是一生中大腦產生 新神經連結的能力。

Which means this is something that anyone can practice

意思就是，每個人都能靠練習， 隨時間就會做得更好。

and get better at over time.

So I kept practicing gratitude even when it seemed impossible.

所以我持續練習感激， 包括在似乎不可能的情況下。

I continue to thank my brain for the amazing work it does

當我在為今年的 十二輪化療做準備時，

as I prepare for 12 more rounds of chemo this year.

我持續感謝我的大腦 做了這些了不起的事。

I write down three things I'm grateful for

我會寫下讓我感激的三件事， 以及感激的原因，

and why I'm grateful for them, no matter what,

不論如何，每天起床都一定會做。

every morning that I wake up.

I write "thank you" notes to my heroes and health care,

我會寫感謝條給 我的英雄和健康照護，

nurses who get the IV in the first time.

做第一次靜脈注射的護理師，

The anesthesiology resident,

麻醉科住院醫師

who held my hand during the awake portions of my surgery,

在我手術甦醒時握著我的手，

radiation therapist that play my playlist during treatment

放射線治療師在治療過程中 播放我的播放清單，

and administrative staff that makes me smile

還有每回我走進醫院時 都讓我微笑的行政人員，

every time I walk into the hospital.

I do want to take a second here and practice what I teach

在此我想花一點時間， 實做我教別人做的事，

to shout out my doctors and their teams

感謝我在密西根醫療多專科 腦瘤臨床的醫生及其團隊，

from the Michigan Medicine Multidisciplinary Brain Tumor Clinic.

I have never met such intelligent,

我從來沒有遇過這樣聰明、

kind and patient people.

仁慈，且有耐心的人。

Thank you for making me feel brave

謝謝你們讓我感到自己很勇敢，

when I sometimes felt the opposite.

因為我有時會有相反的感覺。

I think the universe might think it's funny

我想，宇宙可能會覺得這樣很好玩：

that a psych instructor and researcher who studies well-being

研究幸福的心理學講師 和研究者最後得了腦瘤。

ended up with a brain tumor.

The truth is that we need more awareness and more research

事實是，對於腦瘤和腦癌，我們需要

regarding brain tumors and brain cancer.

更多意識和研究。

Doctors can't exactly predict how my tumor will behave,

醫生無法確實預測我的腫瘤 會有什麼行為，其實，

and really, none of us

沒有任何人能確實預測 我們的人生將來會如何。

can predict what our lives are going to be like exactly.

But what I hope I can show you is that we can also be grateful

但我希望我能讓大家知道， 面對未預期的挑戰，

for the unexpected challenges.

我們可以抱持感恩的心。

I don't want to dismiss people

我並不想要忽視認為 戰鬥說法能帶來力量的人。

who may find the fight narrative empowering.

I also don't want to suggest that it's by any means easy

我也絕非在暗示說在逆境中

to find ways to be grateful in dealing with adversity.

想辦法感恩是很容易的事。

This has been the hardest thing that I've ever had to do.

這是我得做的事情當中最困難的。

But I do want to empower those that feel like me,

但我希望能帶給像我這樣的人力量，

that there's another way to go through whatever your journey may be,

不論你走上怎樣的旅程， 都可以換個方式渡過，

that loving your body doesn't have to be conditional.

愛你的身體不需要有條件。

And that by practicing gratitude

透過練習感激，

我們可以讓大腦神經元連結， 協助我們建立恢復力。

we can actually wire our brains to help us build resilience.

And lastly,

最後，

I hope everyone, no matter where you are or what you are doing,

我希望每個人，不論你身在何處

或在做什麼事，可以 花點時間親吻你的大腦。

can take a second to kiss your own brain

and thank it for all that it does for you.

感謝它為你做的一切。