Live Drawings of the Human Experience | Jarrett J. Krosoczka | TED

譯者: 辰芸 林 審譯者: Shelley Tsang 曾雯海

Hey, everyone.

嗨，大家好。

If it's cool with you, I'm just going to draw for a little bit.

很高興見到大家，我現在只是要稍微畫一下圖。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Story has always helped me understand the human experience.

故事總能夠幫助我去了解人們的經驗。

Growing up,

當我長大之後，

I took solace in the books that I would read,

我能夠從我讀的書籍中得到慰藉，

and those book characters that I met offered me friendship.

而書中所遇到的角色，

成為了我的朋友。

Characters like Ralph S. Mouse

那些角色像是：老鼠拉爾夫

from Beverly Cleary's "The Mouse and the Motorcycle."

來自貝弗利·克萊里的兒童小說「老鼠和摩托車」。

Snoopy, Garfield.

還有史努比、加菲貓。

They offered me companionship as I dealt with the trauma

當我面對我的心理創傷時， 他們總是陪在我的身邊，

of my mother's lifelong struggle with an opioid addiction,

我的母親終生都在與藥物成癮奮鬥、

the fact that I didn’t know who or where my birth father was.

還有事實上我不知道我的生父是誰 而他又在哪裡。

Story has also helped me understand my family's history.

故事也幫助我更了解我家族的歷史。

My grandfather, who raised me,

我的祖父，

他養育我成長，

would hold court in the living room,

在大蕭條時期， 他會坐在客廳吸引我的注意，

regaling me with stories of life during the Great Depression.

用一些生活故事逗我開心。

And telling me all about his parents

告訴我有關他的父母的事情，

who had emigrated from Poland.

比如他們是從波蘭移民過來的。

Now, my great grandparents died many years before I was ever born.

我的曾祖父母遠在我出生之前就過世了，

But through these stories that were shared

但透過這些分享給我的故事，

in our home

在我們的家，

I always felt like I knew them.

我一直覺得我認識他們。

Now creating my own stories,

現在創造我自己的故事，

that offered me an escape portal.

為我提供了一個逃生門。

You see, it was a home that was filled with so much dysfunction.

你可以看出， 這是一個充滿了功能障礙的家。

My grandparents drank a lot.

我的祖父母酗酒，

There was a lot of yelling,

家裡總是有很多吼叫，

a lot of chaos,

很多混亂，

and I controlled none of it.

而我完全無法控制。

From the pages of my comics,

但在我的漫畫中，

I was the one calling the shots.

我能夠掌控一切。

Creating my own worlds, creating my own characters.

創造我自己的世界， 創造屬於我自己的角色，

Sharing them with my friends and family members.

和我的朋友和家人分享，

I thrived off that creativity.

讓我從創作中茁壯成長。

Now my mother was an incredibly talented artist.

現在我的母親是一個非常有才華的藝術家。

And even though she spent a majority of my childhood incarcerated,

即便她在我童年大部分的期間都被監禁，

she spent her time drawing cartoons

但她還是會花時間畫一些卡通

and mailing them to me.

然後寄給我。

And these cartoons that arrived from prison from my mom,

我媽媽從監獄里送來的這些卡通插畫，

it was her way of, you know,

我知道這是她的方式，你知道的，

it was her way of letting me know that she loved me

是她讓我知道他愛我的方式，

and letting me know just what I was capable of.

並讓我知道我的能力。

Now bearing witness to the stories of others

現在，見證他人的故事

helped me put life into perspective.

幫助我正確看待生活。

When I was a teenager,

當我還是青少年的時候，

I volunteered at a camp for children with cancer.

我在一個為患有癌症的兒童 設立的營地做志願者。

And I spent several summers after that working there as well.

在那之後，我也在那個營地 持續工作了幾個夏天。

And of all the kids I met over the years,

這些年來，在我遇到的所有孩子中，

the kid that sticks out the most in my memory is Eric.

最讓我印象深刻的是艾瑞克。

Eric was the very first kid that I was charged to care for.

艾瑞克是我負責照顧的第一個孩子，

I was 16 years old.

我當時才十六歲，

He was four

他才四歲，

and had recently been diagnosed with leukemia.

而且最近被診斷出有白血病。

Now ...

現在，

Despite his thinning hair,

儘管他頭髮稀疏，

despite the shunt in his chest,

儘管他胸前有分流導管，

this boy wielded a Power Rangers sword

這個小男孩還是揮舞著金剛戰士的光劍，

and went after life with so much energy

帶著許多的能量

and an ear-to-ear grin.

還有燦爛的笑容去追求生活。

Now, in my years of working with kids with critical illnesses at camp,

現在，與患有嚴重疾病的孩子們工作的這幾年，

I was often lauded, but that just always felt

我經常受到稱讚，

unnecessary and backwards,

但這只會讓我覺得不必要且倒退，

because it just felt like such a selfish endeavor.

因為會讓人感覺這是種自私的努力。

I was given a front-row seat

我之所以能夠坐在前排，

to some of the most remarkable stories in human history.

是因為人類歷史中一些最傑出的故事。

Eric died

艾瑞克

shortly before his sixth birthday.

在他的六歲生日前不久過世。

Twenty-five years ago.

至今已經過了二十五年。

You know, there isn't a day that I don't think about him,

我沒有一天不想到他，

there isn't a day that I don't think what he meant to me

我每天都在想他對我有多重要，

or what he was able to do with his short life.

以及他本來能在他短暫的生命中獲得什麼體驗。

And I do remain in touch with his family.

我仍然與他的家人保持聯繫。

When I visit his grave site,

當我去拜訪他的墓園時，

I don't bring flowers.

我沒有帶上花束，

I bring a Power Rangers action figure.

我帶了金剛戰士的光劍圖。

I've recently completed a graphic memoir recounting my time working at camp.

我最近完成了一本圖像小說， 講述了我在營地工作的期間，

And working with this population.

包含與這群志工一起工作，

And that time with Eric.

還有與艾瑞克相處的時間。

Now, creating a graphic memoir is a daunting experience.

創造一本圖像小說是一個讓人氣餒的過程，

There is, of course, the physical labor of a book

那就是，對一本書付出的體力勞動，

that is hundreds of pages long.

總共有一百多頁要畫。

That has multiple panels of art on every single page.

每一頁都有多個藝術面板。

But it's the emotional toll that is the most difficult to deal with.

但最難處理的是情感上的損失。

I'm face-to-face with these loved ones that I've missed.

我面對這些我想念的人們，

I'm in that room again and often for the first time

我又回到了那個房間， 而且我第一次，

dealing with stuff I had never dealt with at the time.

去處理那些我當時沒處理的事情。

Now I went into this process knowing full well

現在我進入了這個過程， 我知道

how intense this experience would be.

這個經驗會有多強烈。

I'd previously created a graphic memoir

我之前也有創作過一本圖像小說，

called "Hey, Kiddo,"

叫做《嗨，孩子。》

about my own childhood and my mother's addictions.

這本書關於我個人的童年經驗， 還有我母親對藥物的成癮。

So I know what you're all thinking.

我知道你們在想什麼。

Books for kids about a parent with heroin addiction,

給小孩看有關父母對海洛因成癮的書？

pediatric cancer.

小兒癌症。

And yes, I'm just chasing all of the hot trends in children's literature.

對，我只是在跟上兒童文學的熱門趨勢。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But when I was working on "Hey, Kiddo,"

但當我在進行《嗨，孩子。》的創作時，

even though the most important people in my life had since passed --

即使我生命中最重要的人已經過世了，

my grandfather, my mother --

我的祖父、我的母親——

production on that book

在這本書製作的過程中，

brought me closer to them.

又讓我更靠近他們。

And the same now has happened

而現在也發生了同樣的事情

with Eric

與艾瑞克

via "Sunshine."

透過《陽光》這本書。

We all have loss in our lives, and we all have pain in our life,

我們都面臨過失落的時刻， 我們也會在人生中經歷痛苦，

and that can be so incredibly difficult.

而這可能會非常的艱難。

And I know all too well that ...

我非常清楚，

No matter how much I talk about these people,

不管我說了多少關於這些人們的事，

no matter how much I write about them,

或者我寫下了多少關於他們的故事，

no matter how much I draw them,

不管我畫了多少關於他們的圖象，

there is nothing that I'm going to do

我仍然什麼也做不了，

that's going to bring them back to this Earth.

我無法讓他們回到這個星球。

I miss them.

我想念他們。

But I take solace in knowing that their stories are being shared

但我感到很欣慰， 我知道他們的故事會繼續流傳下去，

and that they are being remembered,

我知道他們會被永遠記得，

because my grandfather was right.

因為我的祖父說的對，

Stories keep people alive and real to us.

故事讓那些人們永遠在我們心中真實的活著。

Thank you.

謝謝大家。

(Applause)

（掌聲）