Are Your Coping Mechanisms Healthy? | Andrew Miki | TED

翻译人员: Xi Wang 校对人员: Bruce Wang

What do you think is the connection between a pigeon's ability to count

你认为鸽子数数

and human mental health?

与人们的心理健康 之间有什么联系？

The answer has to do with learned behaviors.

两者都是习得行为。

When I was on the path to becoming a clinical psychologist,

当我踏上成为临床心理学家的道路时，

my career veered in the direction of animal cognition and neuroscience.

我的职业生涯转向了动物认知和 神经科学的方向。

I found myself teaching pigeons to count using a process called shaping.

我开始使用一种叫做行为塑造的方法 来教鸽子数数。

You start by giving it some food every time it looks at a touchscreen.

首先，每当它看着触摸屏时， 你都会给它一些食物。

This creates connections in its brain that become stronger over time,

这在其大脑中建立了联系， 随着时间的推移，这种联系会变得越来越强，

even as rules become more complex.

即使规则变得越来越复杂。

So just like teaching a dog to stay,

因此，就像训练狗狗“等待”的指令，

I eventually trained the pigeon to peck at a red square

我最终成功训练鸽子 在看到两次闪光时

when it saw two flashes of light

啄红色的方块，

and a green square when it saw three.

看到三次闪光时啄绿色方块。

I now had a pigeon that could count.

我现在有一只能数数的鸽子了。

(Cheers and laughter)

（欢呼和笑声）

This process happens gradually,

这个过程是循序渐进的，

day after day,

日复一日

until that learned behavior becomes a habit.

直到习得的行为 成为一种习惯。

I've worked in mental health over 25 years,

我在心理健康领域工作了25年。

and I've learned that just like the pigeon,

我意识到，就像鸽子一样，

our brains reinforce certain habits

我们的大脑也会强化某些习惯

or coping mechanisms

或应对机制，

that help us feel better in the moment.

帮助我们在当下感觉更好。

I’ve seen thousands of educators, health care workers

我已经看到成千上万的教育工作者、 医护人员

and first responders rely on coping mechanisms

和急救人员

like procrastination,

依赖拖延、

overusing their smartphones

过度使用智能手机

or working harder through a tough time.

或在艰难时期更加努力地工作 等应对机制。

This can backfire and train them to become anxious and depressed.

这可能适得其反，并训练他们 变得焦虑和沮丧。

For example, do you scroll endlessly on social media

例如，你是否无休止地刷社交媒体，

instead of getting to that task that fills you with anxiety or dread?

而不是去完成 那个让你感到焦虑或恐惧的任务？

Or late at night,

或者在深夜，

do you get a dopamine hit when you click on the next episode button?

当你点击下一集按钮 时，你能感受到多巴胺分泌带来的快感吗？

Procrastination can feel good at the time,

拖延症在当时可能感觉良好，

but oh, the next day is going to be a real grind.

但是哦，接下来的一天可不好过咯。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

These coping mechanisms help us feel better in the moment,

这些应对机制可以帮助我们在当下 感觉更好，

so it is not crazy that we do them.

所以我们这样做并不意味着这是不理智的。

But if we kept repeating them

但是，如果我们不断反复这么做

and wonder why we're still stressed or anxious or burnt out,

却不知我们为何仍然感到压力、焦虑或精疲力尽，

then what we're doing might be insane.

那么我们的所作所为才可能算是不理智了。

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again

失去理智是指一遍又一 遍地做同样的事情

and expecting a different response.

却期待着不同的回应。

Now we might not be aware of our own insane patterns,

现在我们可能没有意识到 自己的疯狂模式，

but chances are we all have them, myself included.

但很可能我们都有这些模式，包括 我自己。

The good news is that if we understand our unhelpful coping mechanisms,

好消息是，如果我们了解了 这些毫无益处的应对机制，

we can all unlearn them to improve our mental health.

我们都可以摆脱它们， 从而改善我们的心理健康。

Now I’d like to share with you what I’ve learned from being a father.

现在我想和大家分享我从 做父亲这个过程中学到的东西。

My awesome daughter Natalia is now a teenager,

我女儿纳塔利娅非常优秀， 现在已经是一名十几岁的青少年了。

but luckily for her,

但幸运的是，

having a psychologist as a father

有一位心理学家当爸爸

means that I've worked hard to shape the connections in her brain.

意味着我一直在 努力塑造她大脑中的联系。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So she understands that the '90s grunge music

因此，她明白 90 年代的摇滚音乐

is the absolute peak of all music ever.

是有史以来所有音乐的绝对巅峰。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

My goal is for Natalia to be self-confident,

我的目标是 让纳塔利娅变得自信，

because I’ve never had a patient with clinical anxiety or depression

因为我从未见过一个 患有临床焦虑或抑郁症的患者

also have high self-confidence at the same time.

同时对自己充满信心。

Anxiety erodes confidence.

焦虑会侵蚀信心。

We tend to overestimate the amount of danger that we're in

我们往往会高估我们 面临的危险

and underestimate our ability to cope.

而低估我们的应对能力。

With depression, we end up beating ourselves up

如果患有抑郁症，我们会陷入深深的自责

to the point that we feel worthless and hopeless.

以至于我们感到 一文不值和绝望。

But as people overcome depression and anxiety,

但是随着人们克服 抑郁和焦虑，

their self-confidence grows.

他们的自信心就会增强。

They begin to talk to themselves like a coach

他们开始像教练一样和自己对话，

instead of a critic

而不是像批评家一样。

to see how threats can become opportunities.

学会将危机转为机遇。

About five years ago,

大约五年前，

Natalia desperately wanted a smartphone,

纳塔利娅迫切想要一部智能手机，

but I saw this as a threat to her self-confidence.

但我认为这不利于她建立自信。

While she would plead her case over dinner,

虽然她会在晚餐时为 自己的案情辩护，但

I'd lean over to her and say, "Hey,

我会俯身对她说：“嘿，

do you generally feel pretty good about yourself?"

你通常对自己感觉 还不错吗？”

And she'd say, "Yeah."

然后她会说：“是的。”

"Are you anxious?"

“你焦虑吗？”

"No, not compared to some of the people I know."

“不会，跟我认识的一些人相 比我不算很焦虑。”

"Well, all of the research shows that the more kids are on a smartphone,

“好吧，所有的研究 表明，孩子越频繁使用智能手机，

the more anxious and depressed they become.

他们就会变得越焦虑和沮丧。

So do you want to be less confident and more anxious?"

那么，你想不那么 自信，多点焦虑吗？”

Then I'd watch her face change from that youthful optimism

然后我会看着她的脸 先是洋溢着朝气蓬勃的乐观，

to the cold reality that it just wasn't going to happen.

一时万念俱灰， 知道手机这件事没戏了。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Once Natalia finally got her smartphone,

自打纳塔利娅有了智能手机以来，

I could see how she was becoming like many of us,

我能观察到她变得 像我们许多人一样，

who use it as a coping mechanism to seek reassurance.

把手机当作一种应对机制 来寻求慰藉。

For example,

例如，

imagine you’re meeting a friend for dinner at 7pm

假设你约好与朋友 在晚上 7点共进晚餐，

and they haven't arrived.

但他们还没有到。

You start to worry.

你开始担心了。

Am I in the right place?

我来对地方了吗？

Did they forget?

他们忘记了吗？

Are they OK?

他们还好吗？

As the uncertainty increases, you start to feel anxious.

随着不确定性的增加， 你开始感到焦虑。

You fidget, you feel butterflies,

你坐立不安，感觉到紧张，

maybe a little uncomfortable.

可能还有点不舒服。

Eventually, you pull out your phone to get reassurance

最终，你拿出手机

by texting your friend "Where are you?"

给朋友发短信 “你在哪里？”来获得保证

When they respond "Just parked,"

当他们回答 “刚停车” 时，

your worry and anxiety is washed away and you feel better.

你的担忧和焦虑就会被冲走，你感觉好多了。

Now if you sat with that discomfort

现在，如果你坐在那种不适

and uncertainty,

和不确定之中，

you'd strengthen your resilience to anxiety.

你会增强 你对焦虑的抵御能力。

There's a network in our brains that's like a muscle.

我们的大脑中有一个像肌肉一样的网络。

It gets a workout every time we sit

每当我们

with anxious sensations and worrisome thoughts.

直面焦虑和忧虑时，它都会得到锻炼。

But most of us don't sit with it.

但是大多数人并不会有意识地觉察到 并且面对它

Instead, we look for reassurance and instant relief by texting.

而是通过发短信寻求安慰和缓解不适。

So just like the pigeon that learned to count,

因此就像学会数数的鸽子一样，

our smartphones can train us to become more anxious

我们的智能手机可以训练我们 变得更加焦虑，

every time we use them to seek reassurance.

每次使用智能手机寻求安慰时都会 变得更加焦虑。

The danger of our coping mechanisms

我们应对机制的危险在于

is that they make sense at the time,

它们在当时是合理的，

but they go undetected until we hit a perfect storm,

但是直到我们遇到一场完美的风暴， 它们才会被发现，

a time in our lives when it seems like everything is going wrong

在我们生活中， 似乎一切都出错了，

and the energy in our internal batteries becomes depleted.

内部电池中的能量耗尽。

For example,

例如，

let's say over the past six months

假设在过去的六个月中，

Natalia's friends have treated her horribly.

纳塔利娅的朋友 们对她的态度非常糟糕。

She got cut from her soccer team,

她被足球队裁掉了，

and our family dog died.

我们的家犬也死了。

This perfect storm depletes her internal battery to 40 percent,

这场完美的风暴使 她的内部电池电量消耗到40％，

and she no longer feels like herself.

而且她不再有自己的感觉。

When she gets a bad report card,

当她得到一份糟糕的成绩单时，

Natalia will revert to another coping mechanism:

纳塔利娅将恢复到另一种 应对机制：

to work harder through a tough time.

在艰难时期更加努力地工作。

This has helped her succeed in the past,

这在过去曾帮助她取得成功，

but with a depleted battery,

但是由于电池电量耗尽，

she just can't get things back on track.

她无法使事情重回正轨。

This reinforces negative thoughts.

这强化了负面想法。

"What's wrong with me?"

“我怎么了？”

"Oh, nothing is working."

“哦，什么都不起作用。”

"I'm such a loser."

“我真是个失败者。”

Every time Natalia has these thoughts,

每当纳塔利娅有这些想法时，

the self-critical muscles in her brain become stronger,

她大脑中自我批评的肌肉 就会变得更强壮，

her self confidence crashes and her depression grows.

她的自信心就会崩溃， 抑郁症也会加剧。

If Natalia is like most of us,

如果纳塔利娅和我们大多数人一样，

what can we do to break these patterns and improve our self confidence?

我们能做些什么来打破这些模式， 提高我们的自信心呢？

Well, if it was physical fitness,

如果是提高体能和身体素质，

we'd all have to start moving more.

那我们都必须开始更多地运动。

The mental fitness equivalent is to talk more.

相对应的，有助心理健康的锻炼 是多交流。

The issue is that there's still a lot of stigma attached to mental health.

问题在于，心理健康仍然存在 很多污名。

We tend to keep our struggles to ourselves

我们倾向于将困难留给自己，

because we're afraid that we'll be seen as weak

因为我们担心自己会被视为软弱

or incapable.

或能力不足。

We need to change this narrative

我们需要通过更多地

by talking more about the issues in our lives.

谈论生活中的问题来改变这种叙述。

By talking,

通过交谈，

we uncover our unhelpful coping mechanisms,

我们发现了我们 无济于事的应对机制，

and that awareness is the first step to unlearning them.

而这种意识是摆脱这些机制的第一步。

Now here’s the sobering truth:

现在有一个发人深省的事实：

mental health is complicated and nuanced.

心理健康既复杂又具细微差别。

You are all unique,

你们都是独一无二的，

and your behaviors have been shaped over a long time,

而且你的行为 已经形成了很长时间，

so I can't tell you what's best for you in your situation

所以如果不进一步了解你，

without knowing more about you.

我无法告诉你什么最适合你。

Instead, I hope to inspire you

相反，我希望能激励你

to take the time right now to learn more about yourself.

现在花点时间更多地了解自己。

And you can start by asking yourself these two questions.

你可以先问自己 这两个问题。

First, what do you do when you feel stressed, anxious or sad?

首先，当你感到 压力、焦虑或悲伤时，你会怎么做？

And second, have these feelings gotten better or worse over time?

其次，随着时间的推移，这些感觉是 好转还是恶化了？

If the answer is worse,

如果答案是恶化了，

then you're relying on an unhelpful coping mechanism.

那么你所依赖的应对机制无济于事。

Just like the pigeon that learned to count,

就像学会数数的鸽子一样，

our brains have an amazing capacity to build new connections

我们的大脑具有惊人的能力， 可以建立新的联系，

and unlearn unhelpful habits by trying something new.

并通过尝试新 事物来消除无益的习惯。

It could be learning new strategies, like sitting with your anxiety.

它可能正在学习新的策略， 比如直面焦虑。

Breathe to take the edge off.

通过呼吸来缓解压力。

Or my favorite,

或是用我最喜欢的方式，

balance your thoughts to become more self-confident.

平衡你的想法，变得更加自信。

It all starts with us talking more about our own patterns of insanity

这一切都始于我们更多地 谈论自己的疯狂模式，

and admitting that we all have them.

并承认我们都有这种模式。

Even as '90s grunge psychologists.

即使是我这个偏爱90年代摇滚的 心理学家也是一样。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)

（掌声）