Advanced English Lesson: How to Make Friends in 52 Minutes!

231,918 views ใƒป 2018-06-12

Rachel's English


ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุฃุฏู†ุงู‡ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุชุชู… ุชุฑุฌู…ุชู‡ุง ุขู„ูŠู‹ุง.

00:00
Today we're going to talk about making friends in America.
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ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุณู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง.
00:04
This is something a lot of you guys have asked me about.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุดูŠุก ุณุฃู„ู†ูŠ ุนู†ู‡ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู†ูƒู….
00:10
David, I got an email today
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ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ุชู„ู‚ูŠุช ุจุฑูŠุฏู‹ุง ุฅู„ูƒุชุฑูˆู†ูŠู‹ุง ุงู„ูŠูˆู…
00:12
from a Rachel's English Academy student named Clarence
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ู…ู† ุทุงู„ุจ ููŠ ุฃูƒุงุฏูŠู…ูŠุฉ ุฑุงุดูŠู„ ู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ูŠูุฏุนู‰ ูƒู„ุงุฑู†ุณ
00:16
who was saying he goes to school in the US
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ูƒุงู† ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†ู‡ ูŠุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ
00:19
but all of his friends that he's making
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆู‡ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุชุนุงู…ู„ ู…ุนู‡ู…
00:21
are other international students.
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ู‡ู… ุทู„ุงุจ ุฏูˆู„ูŠูˆู† ุขุฎุฑูˆู†.
00:23
And he says they're great people, they're wonderful friends,
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ูˆูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†ู‡ู… ุฃู†ุงุณ ุฑุงุฆุนูˆู† ุŒ ุฅู†ู‡ู… ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุฑุงุฆุนูˆู† ุŒ
00:26
but he wants more opportunity to practice his English
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ูŠุฑูŠุฏ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ูุฑุต ู„ู…ู…ุงุฑุณุฉ ู„ุบุชู‡ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ
00:29
and to engage with Americans while he's here.
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ูˆุงู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ุฃุซู†ุงุก ูˆุฌูˆุฏู‡ ู‡ู†ุง.
00:32
And he was asking for some advice
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ูˆูƒุงู† ูŠุทู„ุจ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู†ุตุงุฆุญ
00:33
about making friends in America.
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ุญูˆู„ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง. ูˆู‚ุฏ
00:36
And it reminded me of the podcast that we made,
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ุฐูƒุฑู†ูŠ ุจุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃู†ุดุฃู†ุงู‡ ุŒ
00:38
which I'll play at the end of this video,
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ุณุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจุชุดุบูŠู„ู‡ ููŠ ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุŒ
00:41
so you won't have to click anywhere to find it,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ู† ุชุถุทุฑ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ููˆู‚ ุฃูŠ ู…ูƒุงู† ู„ู„ุนุซูˆุฑ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุŒ
00:43
but I also thought it's worth revisiting.
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุณุชุญู‚ ุงู„ุฒูŠุงุฑุฉ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
00:46
It's a big topic.
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู…ูˆุถูˆุน ูƒุจูŠุฑ.
00:47
It's a really big topic, yeah.
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู…ูˆุถูˆุน ูƒุจูŠุฑ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ู†ุนู….
00:49
So I thought we could start a little bit
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุงุนุชู‚ุฏุช ุฃู†ู†ุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ู†ุจุฏุฃ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹
00:51
by talking about our best friends, how we've made them,
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ุจุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุฃูุถู„ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆู†ุง ุŒ ูˆูƒูŠู ุตู†ุนู†ุงู‡ู… ุŒ
00:55
and then also now at this stage in life
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ุซู… ุงู„ุขู† ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฑุญู„ุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ
01:00
how it's harder to make friends,
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ูƒูŠู ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุนุจ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุŒ
01:02
I think we're both finding,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู†ุง ู†ุฌุฏ ูƒู„ุงู†ุง ุŒ
01:03
and we can sort of talk about ways
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุทุฑู‚
01:06
to connect with Americans.
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ู„ู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†.
01:09
So out of your very best friends,
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ุฅุฐู† ู…ู† ุจูŠู† ุฃูุถู„ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูƒ ุŒ
01:11
you have different sets of people, wouldn't you say?
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุงุช ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุŒ ุฃู„ุง ุชู‚ูˆู„ูŠ ุฐู„ูƒุŸ
01:14
Yeah, I think that that's right.
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ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญ.
01:17
And where did you make your best friends?
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ูˆุฃูŠู† ู‚ู…ุช ุจุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุฃูุถู„ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูƒุŸ
01:20
They come from a couple different areas
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ุฅู†ู‡ู… ูŠุฃุชูˆู† ู…ู† ู…ู†ุงุทู‚
01:23
and stages of life, I guess.
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ูˆู…ุฑุงุญู„ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ.
01:25
From high school and college, there's a couple of people
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ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูˆูŠุฉ ูˆุงู„ุฌุงู…ุนุฉ ุŒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุดุฎุตุงู†
01:28
that are even to this day very close friends, actually,
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ุญุชู‰ ูŠูˆู…ู†ุง ู‡ุฐุง ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู…ู‚ุฑุจูŠู† ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ
01:31
my closest friends, I would say.
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ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูŠ ุงู„ู…ู‚ุฑุจูŠู† ุŒ ุฃูˆุฏ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„.
01:33
And then I also have some very good friends
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ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ู„ุฏูŠ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุงู„ุฌูŠุฏูŠู†
01:36
who I've met through work, so, later in life.
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ู‚ุงุจู„ุชู‡ู… ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ู„ุงุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ. ูˆุจุนุฏ
01:40
And then, just meeting people who are friends of friends,
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ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ู…ู‚ุงุจู„ุฉ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ู‡ู… ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู„ู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุŒ
01:46
so some kind of connection through a shared friend.
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุตุฏูŠู‚ ู…ุดุชุฑูƒ.
01:52
And again, that one was later in life.
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ูˆู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุŒ ูƒุงู† ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ุงุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ.
01:55
that's a good point.
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01:55
You brought up two potential ways to make friends.
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ. ู„ู‚ุฏ
ุทุฑุญุช ุทุฑูŠู‚ุชูŠู† ู…ุญุชู…ู„ุชูŠู† ู„ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช.
01:59
First of all, you mentioned school, which I think
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ุจุงุฏุฆ ุฐูŠ ุจุฏุก ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฐูƒุฑุช ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุŒ ูˆุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†
02:03
a lot of us have made a lot of friends in school.
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ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู†ุง ู‚ุฏ ุงูƒุชุณุจ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ.
02:06
The reason is you're seeing the same people over and over
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ุงู„ุณุจุจ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุฑู‰ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู…ุฑุงุฑู‹ุง ูˆุชูƒุฑุงุฑู‹ุง
02:09
every day, that helps build friendships,
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ูƒู„ ูŠูˆู… ุŒ ูู‡ุฐุง ูŠุณุงุนุฏ ููŠ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุŒ
02:11
but you also mentioned work,
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ู„ูƒู†ูƒ ุฐูƒุฑุช ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ
02:13
and I think a lot of people watching this video
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุดุงู‡ุฏูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ
02:16
might be people who live in the United States,
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ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆู† ุฃุดุฎุงุตู‹ุง ูŠุนูŠุดูˆู† ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ ุŒ
02:19
work in the United States, but have a hard time
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ูˆูŠุนู…ู„ูˆู† ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ ุŒ ูˆู„ูƒู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุตุนูˆุจุฉ ููŠ
02:22
taking the co-worker level to a friendship level.
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ุฃุฎุฐ ู…ุณุชูˆู‰ ุฒู…ูŠู„ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ุณุชูˆู‰ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ.
02:28
What would you say about that?
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ู…ุงุฐุง ุณุชู‚ูˆู„ ุนู† ุฐู„ูƒุŸ
02:29
Would you have any advice about how to approach somebody
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ู‡ู„ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ู†ุตูŠุญุฉ ุญูˆู„ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงู„ุงู‚ุชุฑุงุจ ู…ู† ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
02:32
in a more formal situation to turn it into something
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ููŠ ู…ูˆู‚ู ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฑุณู…ูŠุฉ ู„ุชุญูˆูŠู„ู‡ ุฅู„ู‰ ุดูŠุก
02:38
that has a casual side as well?
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ู„ู‡ ุฌุงู†ุจ ุบูŠุฑ ุฑุณู…ูŠ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุงุŸ
02:41
Yeah, I think it is challenging.
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ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ุซู„ ุชุญุฏูŠู‹ุง.
02:42
I think it's challenging for Americans too.
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ุซู„ ุชุญุฏูŠู‹ุง ู„ู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
02:46
One of the things that I've been thinking about,
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ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒู†ุช ุฃููƒุฑ ููŠู‡ุง ุŒ
02:47
as we've been preparing, is that it's tempting sometimes
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ูƒู…ุง ูƒู†ุง ู†ุณุชุนุฏ ุŒ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุบุฑูŠ ุฃุญูŠุงู†ู‹ุง
02:52
to say no to an invitation
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ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ู„ุง ู„ุฏุนูˆุฉ
02:54
if you're not feeling the whole way comfortable.
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู„ุง ุชุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑุงุญุฉ ุงู„ูƒุงู…ู„ุฉ.
02:56
Invitations tend to come out of the blue.
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ุชู…ูŠู„ ุงู„ุฏุนูˆุงุช ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุธู‡ูˆุฑ ู…ู† ูุฑุงุบ.
02:58
And a non-native speaker might especially
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ูŠุชุฑุฏุฏ ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซ ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุทู‚ ุจุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุจุดูƒู„ ุฎุงุต
03:00
if they're not feeling really confident in their English
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ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ูŠุดุนุฑ ุจุซู‚ุฉ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠุฉ ููŠ ู„ุบุชู‡ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ
03:03
might especially have a hesitation there.
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.
03:06
Right, so I think an important thing
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ู‡ู… ุฃู†
03:08
is to say to yourself right now
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ุชู‚ูˆู„ ู„ู†ูุณูƒ ุงู„ุขู† ููŠ
03:11
the next time that I'm approached by somebody at work
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ุงู„ู…ุฑุฉ ุงู„ู‚ุงุฏู…ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชุตู„ ุจูŠ ููŠู‡ุง ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„
03:14
who says, "Hey, do you want to go to a movie?
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ูˆูŠู‚ูˆู„ ู„ูŠ ุŒ "ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ููŠู„ู…ุŸ
03:16
"Hey, do you want to get a drink after work?
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" ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุดุฑุงุจ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ุŸ
03:18
"Hey, some of us are gonna go to happy hour on Friday
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ุณูŠุฐู‡ุจ ุจุนุถู†ุง ุฅู„ู‰ ุณุงุนุฉ ุณุนูŠุฏุฉ ูŠูˆู… ุงู„ุฌู…ุนุฉ
03:21
"after work, do you wanna come along?"
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" ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุชุฃุชูŠ ู…ุนูƒุŸ "
03:23
It might not be somebody that you know very well
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ู‚ุฏ ู„ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ุชุนุฑูู‡ ุฌูŠุฏู‹ุง
03:26
or again, you might have that instantaneous sort of,
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ุฃูˆ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุŒ ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ุงู„ู„ุญุธูŠ ุŒ
03:29
"Oh my god, they're all gonna be speaking really quickly,
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" ูŠุง ุฅู„ู‡ูŠ ุŒ ุณูŠุชุญุฏุซูˆู† ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ุจุณุฑุนุฉ ุŒ
03:33
"I'm not gonna feel comfortable."
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"ู„ู† ุฃุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑุงุญุฉ."
03:35
But I think it's really important in those spots
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ู‡ู… ุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุฃู…ุงูƒู†
03:38
to push yourself to say,
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ุฃู† ุชุฏูุน ู†ูุณูƒ ู„ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
03:39
"Yep, sure, that sounds great, I'd love to."
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"ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุฑุงุฆุนู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃูˆุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ."
03:42
Knowing that at worst, it's gonna be an opportunity
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ู…ุน ุงู„ุนู„ู… ุฃู†ู‡ ููŠ ุฃุณูˆุฃ ุงู„ุฃุญูˆุงู„ ุŒ ุณุชูƒูˆู† ูุฑุตุฉ
03:46
to really practice your English with native speakers,
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ู„ู…ู…ุงุฑุณุฉ ู„ุบุชูƒ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ู…ุน ู…ุชุญุฏุซูŠู† ุฃุตู„ูŠูŠู† ุŒ
03:49
and at best, it's gonna be a chance
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ูˆููŠ ุฃูุถู„ ุงู„ุฃุญูˆุงู„ ุŒ ุณุชูƒูˆู† ูุฑุตุฉ
03:52
to really connect with people in a way that's beyond work.
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ู„ู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุชุชุฌุงูˆุฒ ุงู„ุนู…ู„.
03:55
And if a co-worker has invited you to do something,
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ูˆุฅุฐุง ุฏุนุงูƒ ุฃุญุฏ ุฒู…ู„ุงุฆูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุดูŠุก ู…ุง ุŒ
03:58
then I think that's a sign
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ูุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุนู„ุงู…ุฉ
04:01
that that's somebody you can feel comfortable with,
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ุนู„ู‰ ุฃู†ู‡ ุดุฎุต ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑุงุญุฉ ู…ุนู‡ ุŒ
04:03
if you don't understand, saying,
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ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ุชูู‡ู…ู‡ ุŒ ู‚ุงุฆู„ุงู‹ ุŒ
04:06
"I'm sorry, you're speaking a little too fast.
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"ุฃู†ุง ุขุณู ุŒ ุฃู†ุช ุชุชุญุฏุซ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุณุฑูŠุน.
04:08
"What did you say?"
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"ู…ุงุฐุง ู‚ู„ุชุŸ"
04:09
Or something like that.
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ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‚ุจูŠู„. ู„ู‚ุฏ
04:11
They've invited you into a more intimate relationship,
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ุฏุนูˆูƒ ุฅู„ู‰ ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุญู…ูŠู…ูŠุฉ ุŒ ูˆุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ
04:15
a less formal relationship, so I think you can feel free
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ุฃู‚ู„ ุฑุณู…ูŠุฉ ุŒ ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ
04:19
to take advantage of that and ask for clarification.
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ุงู„ุงุณุชูุงุฏุฉ ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ูˆุทู„ุจ ุงู„ุชูˆุถูŠุญ.
04:24
Maybe they use an idiom or a phrasal verb you don't know,
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ุฑุจู…ุง ูŠุณุชุฎุฏู…ูˆู† ุงุตุทู„ุงุญ ุฃูˆ ูุนู„ ุฌู…ู„ุฉ ู„ุง ุชุนุฑูู‡ ุŒ
04:27
great opportunity for you to ask.
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ูุฑุตุฉ ุนุธูŠู…ุฉ ู„ูƒ ู„ุชุณุฃู„.
04:29
Now, let's flip this around
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ุงู„ุขู† ุŒ ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ู‚ู„ุจ ู‡ุฐุง
04:31
and say no one's asking you at work to do something.
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ูˆู†ู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู† ู„ุง ุฃุญุฏ ูŠุทู„ุจ ู…ู†ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุฃู† ุชูุนู„ ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง.
04:37
What about starting it yourself?
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ู…ุงุฐุง ุนู† ุงู„ุจุฏุก ุจู†ูุณูƒุŸ
04:39
I think a great thing that you can look for
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ุฑุงุฆุนู‹ุง ุฃู†ูƒ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุจุญุซ
04:43
as you're wanting to connect with more people,
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ุนู…ุง ุชุฑูŠุฏู‡ ู„ู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุŒ
04:45
whether it's at work or maybe you go to church
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ุณูˆุงุก ูƒุงู† ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุฃูˆ ุฑุจู…ุง ุชุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ูƒู†ูŠุณุฉ
04:51
or you have some sort of religious group
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ุฃูˆ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฌู…ุงุนุงุช ุงู„ุฏูŠู†ูŠุฉ
04:52
that you participate with, if you're looking,
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุดุงุฑูƒ ููŠู‡ุง ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุจุญุซ ุŒ
04:55
any group of people that you're seeing regularly,
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ุฃูŠ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุชุดุงุฑูƒู‡ู… ุฅุนุงุฏุฉ ุงู„ู…ุดุงู‡ุฏุฉ ุจุงู†ุชุธุงู… ุŒ
04:57
if you're looking to take it a step further,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุชุทู„ุน ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุถูŠ ู‚ุฏู…ู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุŒ
05:00
I think always look for
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฏุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ุงู„ุจุญุซ ุนู†
05:02
some common interest that you might have.
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ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู…ุงุช ุงู„ู…ุดุชุฑูƒุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‚ุฏ ุชูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ.
05:05
So for example, if at the office you come to realize
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุณุจูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ุฃุฏุฑูƒุช ููŠ ุงู„ู…ูƒุชุจ
05:10
that your co-worker is really into the Marvel action movies
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ุฃู† ุฒู…ูŠู„ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ู…ู†ุฎุฑุท ุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุฃูู„ุงู… ุญุฑูƒุฉ Marvel
05:16
or whatever and you are too, discuss it, talk about it,
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ุฃูˆ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ุขุฎุฑ ูˆุฃู†ุช ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ ู†ุงู‚ุดู‡ ูˆุชุญุฏุซ ุนู†ู‡ ุŒ
05:19
and then maybe at some point say,
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ุซู… ู‚ู„ ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุง ุŒ
05:21
"Hey, let's go see the new one", or whatever.
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ุฏุนู†ุง ุงุฐู‡ุจ ู„ุฑุคูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฌุฏูŠุฏ "ุŒ ุฃูˆ ุฃูŠุง ูƒุงู†.
05:24
Find something that you already have in common
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ุงุจุญุซ ุนู† ุดูŠุก ุชุดุชุฑูƒ ููŠู‡ ุจุงู„ูุนู„
05:28
and then use that as a way
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ุซู… ุงุณุชุฎุฏู…ู‡ ูƒุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ
05:30
to invite somebody to do something.
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ู„ุฏุนูˆุฉ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ู„ูุนู„ ุดูŠุก ู…ุง.
05:32
And also, don't be afraid to ask somebody.
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ูˆุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ุง ุชุฎุงููˆุง ู…ู† ุณุคุงู„ ุฃุญุฏู‡ู….
05:35
It's not unusual in a work environment
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ู„ูŠุณ ู…ู† ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ุนุชุงุฏ ููŠ ุจูŠุฆุฉ ุงู„ุนู…ู„
05:37
to see if a co-worker wants to do something outside of work.
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ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุฒู…ูŠู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ูŠุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ูŠูุนู„ ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุงู„ุนู…ู„.
05:41
So, definitely, in America,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุŒ ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ุŒ
05:43
that's a pretty common thing to happen.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุดูŠุก ุดุงุฆุน ุงู„ุญุฏูˆุซ.
05:46
So definitely feel free,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ุง ุชุชุฑุฏุฏ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุŒ
05:47
or even if you're just having a good conversation
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ุฃูˆ ุญุชู‰ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุฌุฑูŠ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ
05:51
to just say, "Oh, do you want to meet up after work
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ู„ุชู‚ูˆู„ ูู‚ุท ุŒ "ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ู†ู„ุชู‚ูŠ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุนู…ู„
05:53
"for a little bit?
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" ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹ุŸ
05:54
"Do you have time?"
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"ู‡ู„ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ูˆู‚ุชุŸ"
05:55
Or something like that.
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ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‚ุจูŠู„.
05:57
I think also realizing that somebody has a common interest
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู† ุฅุฏุฑุงูƒ ุฃู† ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ู…ุง ู„ุฏูŠู‡ ู…ุตู„ุญุฉ ู…ุดุชุฑูƒุฉ
06:00
even at just during that conversation,
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ุญุชู‰ ุฃุซู†ุงุก ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ูู‚ุท ุŒ
06:04
that means that the person is gonna be really interested
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ูู‡ุฐุง ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู…ู‡ุชู…ู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง
06:06
in what you have to say.
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ุจู…ุง ุชุฑูŠุฏ ู‚ูˆู„ู‡. ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง
06:08
That I think means it's a good time to say to yourself,
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ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุฃู†ู‡ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุณุจ ู„ุชู‚ูˆู„ ู„ู†ูุณูƒ ุŒ
06:11
okay, this person is probably gonna be fine with me saying,
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู… ู…ุนูŠ ู‚ุงุฆู„ุงู‹ ุŒ "
06:15
"Hey, I didn't quite catch that, can you say that again?"
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ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ู… ุฃูู‡ู… ุฐู„ูƒ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู‚ูˆู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ุŸ"
06:19
Or even after you've said something
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ุฃูˆ ุญุชู‰ ุจุนุฏ ุฃู† ู‚ู„ุช ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง
06:21
that you're not sure is quite right,
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ู„ุณุช ู…ุชุฃูƒุฏู‹ุง ู…ู† ุตุญุชู‡ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุŒ ูุฅู†
06:23
that kind of a person is a good person to say,
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ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู‡ูˆ ุดุฎุต ุฌูŠุฏ ู„ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
06:26
"Hey, did I say that right?
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ู‚ู„ุช ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุดูƒู„ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
06:27
"I wasn't sure if I said that right."
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" ู„ู… ุฃูƒู† ู…ุชุฃูƒุฏู‹ุง ู…ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ู‚ู„ุช ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุดูƒู„ ุตุญูŠุญ "
06:29
I think making people your conversation partner,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฌุนู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุดุฑูŠูƒูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุŒ
06:34
it often just takes a little bit of courage in saying,
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ุบุงู„ุจู‹ุง ู…ุง ูŠุชุทู„ุจ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุงู„ู‚ู„ูŠู„ ู…ู† ุงู„ุดุฌุงุนุฉ ู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
06:38
"Hey, did I say that right?
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" ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ู‚ู„ุช ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุดูƒู„ ุตุญูŠุญุŸ
06:39
"Hey, would you mind just saying that again?
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชู…ุงู†ุน ููŠ ู‚ูˆู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ุŸ
06:42
"I wasn't quite sure I caught it."
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" ู„ู… ุฃูƒู† ู…ุชุฃูƒุฏู‹ุง ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ู…ู† ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ุชู‚ุทุช ุฐู„ูƒ. "
06:44
Almost always people are really willing to jump in and say,
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ุฏุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู„ู„ู‚ูุฒ ูˆู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ"
06:47
"Oh, actually, yeah, you almost had it right,
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ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒู†ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุญู‚ ุชู‚ุฑูŠุจู‹ุง ุŒ
06:50
"but there was this one little part,
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"ูˆู„ูƒู† ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฌุฒุก ุงู„ุตุบูŠุฑ ุŒ
06:52
"let me tell you about it."
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"ุฏุนู†ูŠ ุฃุฎุจุฑูƒ ุนู†ู‡."
06:53
People love to help.
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ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุญุจูˆู† ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ.
06:55
- And they might not correct you if not prompted.
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- ูˆู‚ุฏ ู„ุง ูŠุตุญุญูˆู†ูƒ ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ูŠูุทู„ุจ ู…ู†ู‡ู….
06:57
- I would say that even stronger,
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- ุฃูˆุฏ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู†ู‡ ุฃู‚ูˆู‰ ุŒ ู…ู†
06:59
they're likely to not correct you.
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ุงู„ู…ุญุชู…ู„ ุฃู„ุง ูŠุตุญุญูˆูƒ.
07:01
I think Americans are,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ุŒ
07:04
I think some cultures would be much more free
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุงุช ุณุชูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุญุฑูŠุฉ
07:06
to jump in and say, "Oh, you said that a little bit off."
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ููŠ ุงู„ู‚ูุฒ ูˆุงู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ "ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ู„ุช ุฐู„ูƒ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹."
07:10
Thinking back to being in Italy,
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ุจุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุนูˆุฏุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฅูŠุทุงู„ูŠุง ุŒ
07:11
I feel like Italian culture, it's more kind of out there,
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ุฃุดุนุฑ ูˆูƒุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุฅูŠุทุงู„ูŠุฉ ุŒ ุฅู†ู‡ุง ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุŒ
07:15
and people might say, "Oh you said that a little bit wrong."
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ "ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ู„ุช ู‡ุฐุง ุฎุทุฃ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุดูŠุก."
07:18
I think Americans are very reticent to initiate that,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ู…ุชุญูุธูˆู† ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ุจุฏุก ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
07:22
but very ready to give you that feedback if you ask for it.
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ู… ู…ุณุชุนุฏูˆู† ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ุฅุนุทุงุฆูƒ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ู„ุงุญุธุงุช ุฅุฐุง ุทู„ุจุช ุฐู„ูƒ.
07:26
That would be my take on it.
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ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุฑุฃูŠูŠ.
07:29
- And this is reminding me, as we're talking about work,
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- ูˆู‡ุฐุง ูŠุฐูƒุฑู†ูŠ ุŒ ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ
07:33
I'm thinking, okay, one of my other students
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ุฃููƒุฑ ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃุญุฏ ุทู„ุงุจูŠ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†
07:36
in Rachel's English Academy, Sam, works in Silicon Valley,
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ููŠ ุฃูƒุงุฏูŠู…ูŠุฉ ุฑุงุดูŠู„ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุŒ ุณุงู… ุŒ ูŠุนู…ู„ ููŠ ูˆุงุฏูŠ ุงู„ุณูŠู„ูŠูƒูˆู† ุŒ
07:39
and he was saying so many of his co-workers,
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ูˆูƒุงู† ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุฒู…ู„ุงุฆู‡ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ
07:42
the vast majority were non-native speakers.
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ุงู„ุบุงู„ุจูŠุฉ ุงู„ุนุธู…ู‰ ู…ู† ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซูŠู†.
07:45
And so, even though he was interacting with people
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ูˆู‡ูƒุฐุง ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุบู… ู…ู† ุฃู†ู‡ ูƒุงู† ูŠุชูุงุนู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
07:48
all throughout the day, and he lives in America,
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ุทูˆุงู„ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุŒ ูˆู‡ูˆ ูŠุนูŠุด ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ุŒ ุฅู„ุง
07:50
he still felt like he was not immersed in American English,
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ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ุง ุฒุงู„ ูŠุดุนุฑ ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ู…ู†ุบู…ุณู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠุฉ ุŒ
07:55
which he really wanted to be
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ูˆู‡ูˆ ู…ุง ุฃุฑุงุฏู‡ ุญู‚ู‹ุง
07:56
because he wanted to get better at it.
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ุฃุฑุงุฏ ุฃู† ูŠุชู‚ู† ุฐู„ูƒ.
07:58
So this is the same issue that Clarence was having.
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ุฅุฐู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‡ูŠ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒุงู† ูŠูˆุงุฌู‡ู‡ุง ูƒู„ุงุฑู†ุณ.
08:01
All of his friends were international students.
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ูƒุงู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆู‡ ุทู„ุงุจู‹ุง ุฏูˆู„ูŠูŠู†.
08:05
Where are other places?
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ุฃูŠู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุงูƒู† ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰ุŸ
08:07
How can you start relationships with people,
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ูƒูŠู ุชุจุฏุฃ ุนู„ุงู‚ุงุช ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
08:12
start friendships with people?
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ูˆุชุจุฏุฃ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณุŸ
08:13
I had a couple of ideas.
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ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃููƒุงุฑ.
08:15
One of them is, when I was studying in Europe,
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ุฃุญุฏู‡ุง ุŒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ุฃุฏุฑุณ ููŠ ุฃูˆุฑูˆุจุง ุŒ
08:20
the place where I was studying, the Goethe-Institut,
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ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุฏุฑุณ ููŠู‡ ุŒ ู…ุนู‡ุฏ ุฌูˆุชู‡ ุŒ
08:24
had a program where it matched people
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ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠู‡ ุจุฑู†ุงู…ุฌ ุญูŠุซ ูƒุงู† ูŠุชุทุงุจู‚ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต
08:27
who wanted to learn languages,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุฑุบุจูˆู† ููŠ ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุงุช ุŒ
08:28
so I was matched with somebody who lived there in Germany
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุชู… ุงู„ุชุทุงุจู‚ ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ูŠุนูŠุด ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ููŠ ุฃู„ู…ุงู†ูŠุง
08:32
that wanted to learn English.
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ูŠุฑูŠุฏ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ.
08:33
That became a great way for me to practice German
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ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฃุตุจุญุช ู‡ุฐู‡ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ู„ู…ู…ุงุฑุณุฉ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฃู„ู…ุงู†ูŠุฉ
08:38
and also to have a friend.
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ูˆุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠ ุตุฏูŠู‚.
08:40
And so I would say look for programs where
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ูˆู„ุฐุง ุฃูˆุฏ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุงุจุญุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุจุฑุงู…ุฌ ุงู„ุชูŠ
08:44
maybe there's a language school, let's say you speak Arabic,
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ุฑุจู…ุง ุชูˆุฌุฏ ููŠู‡ุง ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ู„ู„ุบุงุช ุŒ ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุชุญุฏุซ ุงู„ุนุฑุจูŠุฉ ุŒ ุฃูˆ ุงุจุญุซ ุนู†
08:48
find a language school, if they're giving Arabic classes
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ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ู„ุบุงุช ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ูŠู‚ุฏู…ูˆู† ุฏุฑูˆุณู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุนุฑุจูŠุฉ
08:52
and especially intermediate or advanced classes,
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ูˆุฎุงุตุฉ ุงู„ูุตูˆู„ ุงู„ู…ุชูˆุณุทุฉ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ู…ุชู‚ุฏู…ุฉ ุŒ
08:55
contact them and say, "I'm a native Arabic speaker.
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ูุงุชุตู„ ุจู‡ู… ูˆู‚ู„ ุŒ "ุฃู†ุง ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุนุฑุจูŠุฉ ู‡ูŠ ู„ุบุชูƒ ุงู„ุฃู….
08:59
"Do you have any program
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"ู‡ู„ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุจุฑู†ุงู…ุฌ
09:00
"where you connect your native speakers with Americans?
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" ุญูŠุซ ุชุฑุจุท ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุตู„ูŠูŠู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุจุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†ุŸ "
09:03
"'Cause I'd love a language exchange."
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุญุจ ุชุจุงุฏู„ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ."
09:06
It's a possibility.
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ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุฅู…ูƒุงู†ูŠุฉ.
09:07
And then it's really a win-win 'cause you're both invested,
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ูˆู…ู† ุซู… ูู‡ูŠ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ู„ุฃู†ูƒู…ุง ู…ุณุชุซู…ุฑ ุŒ
09:10
you're both wanting the same thing.
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ูƒู„ุงูƒู…ุง ูŠุฑูŠุฏ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดูŠุก.
09:12
And when you're meeting someone regularly,
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชู‚ุงุจู„ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ุจุงู†ุชุธุงู… ุŒ
09:14
it's very possible that a real friendship
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ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุชู…ู„ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุฃู† ุชุชุทูˆุฑ ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠุฉ ุŒ
09:16
can develop, I think.
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ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ. -
09:18
- Absolutely.
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ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ.
09:19
- Another thing that I've talked about before is,
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- ุดูŠุก ุขุฎุฑ ุชุญุฏุซุช ุนู†ู‡ ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู‡ูˆ ุŒ
09:22
how can you create a space
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ูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู† ุชู†ุดุฆ ู…ุณุงุญุฉ
09:24
where you're seeing the same people regularly?
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ุชุฑู‰ ููŠู‡ุง ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุจุงู†ุชุธุงู…ุŸ
09:27
If it's not work, if it's not school,
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ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ุชูƒู† ุชุนู…ู„ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ุชูƒู† ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุŒ
09:31
and there are various clubs,
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ูˆู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู†ูˆุงุฏูŠ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ ุŒ
09:34
there's a running club in Philadelphia.
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ูู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู†ุงุฏูŠ ู„ู„ุฌุฑูŠ ููŠ ููŠู„ุงุฏู„ููŠุง.
09:36
In our neighborhood, there's like a mom's meetup group.
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ููŠ ู…ู†ุทู‚ุชู†ุง ุŒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ุซู„ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู„ู‚ุงุก ุงู„ุฃู….
09:41
Look for that kind of thing.
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ุงุจุญุซ ุนู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก.
09:43
What's your interest?
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ู…ุง ู‡ูŠ ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู…ุงุชูƒุŸ
09:44
Search for it online,
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ุงุจุญุซ ุนู†ู‡ุง ุนุจุฑ ุงู„ุฅู†ุชุฑู†ุช ุŒ
09:45
see if there's a local group where people are meeting up.
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ูˆุงุนุฑู ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ุช ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู…ุญู„ูŠุฉ ูŠู„ุชู‚ูŠ ููŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต.
09:48
There's the the dad's meetup once a month,
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู„ู‚ุงุก ุฃุจูŠ ู…ุฑุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุดู‡ุฑ
09:51
that you've been to before.
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ูƒู†ุช ู‚ุฏ ุฐู‡ุจุช ุฅู„ูŠู‡ ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„.
09:52
That's a great way to maybe connect with people
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
09:57
more than once.
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ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ู…ุฑุฉ.
09:58
And I really think when it comes to friendship,
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุจุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุŒ
10:01
in the podcast, I was talking about my friend Cara
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ููŠ ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุŒ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุตุฏูŠู‚ุชูŠ ูƒุงุฑุง
10:04
who will chat up anybody on the subway,
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุณุชุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุน ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ููŠ ู…ุชุฑูˆ ุงู„ุฃู†ูุงู‚ ุŒ
10:07
in the line at the grocery store, it doesn't matter,
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ููŠ ุทุงุจูˆุฑ ู…ุญู„ ุงู„ุจู‚ุงู„ุฉ ุŒ ู„ุง ูŠู‡ู… ุŒ
10:10
and she sometimes exchanges numbers
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ูˆููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ุชุชุจุงุฏู„ ุงู„ุฃุฑู‚ุงู…
10:13
and makes friends with people.
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ูˆ ูŠุตู†ุน ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ.
10:15
Most people aren't like that.
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ู…ุนุธู… ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู„ูŠุณูˆุง ูƒุฐู„ูƒ.
10:16
Most people need a time or two of meeting somebody
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ูŠุญุชุงุฌ ู…ุนุธู… ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฅู„ู‰ ูˆู‚ุช ุฃูˆ ุงุซู†ูŠู† ู„ู…ู‚ุงุจู„ุฉ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
10:23
in sort of a more structured environment
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ููŠ ุจูŠุฆุฉ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู†ุธูŠู…ุงู‹
10:25
to let friendship develop. - I think that's right.
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ู„ู„ุณู…ุงุญ ุจุชุทูˆุฑ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ. - ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุตุญูŠุญ.
10:29
Another thing I was thinking about is,
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ุดูŠุก ุขุฎุฑ ูƒู†ุช ุฃููƒุฑ ููŠู‡ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ
10:31
I've played co-ed soccer in an intramural league,
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ู„ุนุจุช ูƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ู‚ุฏู… ุงู„ู…ุฎุชู„ุทุฉ ููŠ ุฏูˆุฑูŠ ุฌู…ุงุนูŠ ุŒ
10:34
and in that league you can sign up as an individual person,
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ูˆููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฏูˆุฑูŠ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุชุณุฌูŠู„ ูƒุดุฎุต ูุฑุฏูŠ ุŒ
10:37
you don't have to be part of a team already,
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ูˆู„ูŠุณ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู† ูุฑูŠู‚ ุจุงู„ูุนู„ ุŒ
10:40
and I think this is a pretty big trend in a lot of cities
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ู‡ุฐุง ุงุชุฌุงู‡ ูƒุจูŠุฑ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุนุฏูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฏู†
10:43
in the US where all kinds of sports
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ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ ุญูŠุซ ุชุญุฏุซ ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ูˆุงุน ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถุงุช ุจุฏุกู‹ุง
10:46
from kickball and really informal sorts of sports,
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ู…ู† ูƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ุฑูƒู„ ูˆุฃู†ูˆุงุน ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถุงุช ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฑุณู…ูŠุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
10:50
all the way up to obviously competitive intramural sports
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ูˆุตูˆู„ุงู‹ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถุงุช ุงู„ุชู†ุงูุณูŠุฉ ุงู„ูˆุงุถุญุฉ
10:54
are happening, I think it's a trend not just in Philadelphia
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ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุงุชุฌุงู‡ ู„ูŠุณ ูู‚ุท ููŠ ููŠู„ุงุฏู„ููŠุง
10:57
but people are using the internet to easily sign up
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ูŠุณุชุฎุฏู… ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฅู†ุชุฑู†ุช ู„ู„ุงุดุชุฑุงูƒ ุจุณู‡ูˆู„ุฉ
11:01
for those kinds of leagues. - Great point.
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ููŠ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุฃู†ูˆุงุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏูˆุฑูŠุงุช. - ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุนุธูŠู…ุฉ.
11:04
- And you sign up for something like that,
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- ูˆู‚ู…ุช ุจุงู„ุชุณุฌูŠู„ ู„ู„ุญุตูˆู„ ุนู„ู‰ ุดูŠุก ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‚ุจูŠู„ ุŒ
11:06
especially if you sign up as an individual,
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ุฎุงุตุฉ ุฅุฐุง ู‚ู…ุช ุจุงู„ุชุณุฌูŠู„ ูƒูุฑุฏ ุŒ
11:08
you're just gonna get plunked on a team,
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ูุณูˆู ุชู†ุบู…ุณ ููŠ ูุฑูŠู‚ ุŒ
11:10
and of course that's incredibly terrifying
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ุฑุนุจ ู„ู„ุบุงูŠุฉ ุจุงู„ุทุจุน
11:13
to show up for the first game,
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ู„ู„ุธู‡ูˆุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุจุงุฑุงุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ุŒ
11:15
but it forces you to meet native speakers,
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ูŠุฌุจุฑูƒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุงู„ุชู‚ุงุก ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุตู„ูŠูŠู† ุŒ
11:17
it forces you to use some conversation.
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ูŠุฌุจุฑูƒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช.
11:19
And also, I think that, again, there's sort of a happy hour,
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ูˆุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุŒ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุŒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุณุงุนุฉ ุณุนูŠุฏุฉ ุŒ
11:23
let's grab a drink after the game culture,
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ูู„ู†ุชู†ุงูˆู„ ู…ุดุฑูˆุจู‹ุง ุจุนุฏ ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุงู„ู„ุนุจุฉ ุŒ
11:27
in a lot of those leagues and organizations,
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ููŠ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุจุทูˆู„ุงุช ูˆุงู„ู…ู†ุธู…ุงุช ุŒ
11:30
and so be ready to say, "Yeah, yeah, I'm in, let's go."
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ู„ุฐุง ูƒู† ู…ุณุชุนุฏู‹ุง ู„ู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ "ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ููŠ ุŒ ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุฐู‡ุจ." ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ
11:34
And then, even if it's 10 people,
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ุŒ ุญุชู‰ ู„ูˆ ูƒุงู† ุนุฏุฏู‡ู… 10 ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุŒ ูู„ู†
11:37
you don't have to make friends with all of them,
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ุชุถุทุฑ ุฅู„ู‰ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ู…ุนู‡ู… ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ุŒ
11:38
but maybe there's one person
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฑุจู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุดุฎุต ูˆุงุญุฏ
11:40
who you kind of have a connection with and you can say,
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู‡ ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ูˆูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
11:44
"Hey, I'll see you next week, it was great to meet you."
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ุณุฃุฑุงูƒ ุงู„ุฃุณุจูˆุน ุงู„ู…ู‚ุจู„ ุŒ ุฃู†ู‡ ุดูŠุก ุฑุงุฆุน ุฃู† ุฃู„ุชู‚ูŠ ุจูƒู…."
11:48
Any kind of club or anything that's interesting to you.
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ุฃูŠ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ูˆุงุฏูŠ ุฃูˆ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ูŠุซูŠุฑ ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู…ูƒ.
11:51
- And if sports isn't your thing,
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- ูˆุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ุชูƒู† ุงู„ุฑูŠุงุถุฉ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชูุถู„ู‡ ุŒ
11:52
I think there is a lot of gaming,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃู„ุนุงุจ ุŒ
11:55
a lot of stuff set up around gaming,
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ูˆุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุฅุนุฏุงุฏู‡ุง ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุฃู„ุนุงุจ ุŒ
11:57
both traditional games like board games, card games,
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ุณูˆุงุก ุงู„ุฃู„ุนุงุจ ุงู„ุชู‚ู„ูŠุฏูŠุฉ ู…ุซู„ ุฃู„ุนุงุจ ุงู„ุทุงูˆู„ุฉ ูˆุฃู„ุนุงุจ ุงู„ูˆุฑู‚ ุŒ
12:00
and then of course video games, which we know nothing about,
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ุซู… ุฃู„ุนุงุจ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุจุงู„ุทุจุน ุŒ ูˆุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุง ู†ุนุฑู ุนู†ู‡ุง ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ุŒ
12:03
but we know that they're very huge at this point in time.
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ุง ู†ุนู„ู… ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุถุฎู…ุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช.
12:07
And that people are going
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ูˆุฃู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุฐู‡ุจูˆู†
12:08
and watching other people play and stuff.
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ูˆูŠุดุงู‡ุฏูˆู† ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ูŠู„ุนุจูˆู† ูˆุฃุดูŠุงุก ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
12:10
So, whatever, however you like to spend your time,
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ู„ุฐุง ุŒ ู…ู‡ู…ุง ูƒุงู† ู…ุง ุชุฑุบุจ ููŠ ู‚ุถุงุก ูˆู‚ุชูƒ ููŠู‡ ุŒ
12:15
try to find a group of people doing the same thing.
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ุญุงูˆู„ ุงู„ุนุซูˆุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ูŠูุนู„ูˆู† ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดูŠุก.
12:19
So let's get into some things
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ู„ุฐุง ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุฏุฎู„ ููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก
12:21
that are a little bit more American specific.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชุญุฏูŠุฏู‹ุง ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง.
12:25
How do you feel,
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ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุดุนูˆุฑูƒ ุŒ
12:28
do you feel that Americans are approachable?
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ู‡ู„ ุชุดุนุฑ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ูŠู…ูƒู† ุงู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุนู‡ู…ุŸ
12:30
And if someone approached you,
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ูˆุฅุฐุง ุงู‚ุชุฑุจ ู…ู†ูƒ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุŒ
12:34
how would you want them to approach you?
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ูƒูŠู ุชุฑูŠุฏู‡ ุฃู† ูŠู‚ุชุฑุจ ู…ู†ูƒุŸ
12:36
I guess is my question.
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุณุคุงู„ูŠ.
12:40
Some people, there can be a big cultural unknown,
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ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ุฌู‡ูˆู„ ุซู‚ุงููŠ ูƒุจูŠุฑ ุŒ
12:45
and someone might say,
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุฃุญุฏู‡ู… ุŒ
12:46
"Well, I would never do that in my own country,
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"ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ู† ุฃูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ุจู„ุฏูŠ ุฃุจุฏู‹ุง ุŒ
12:48
"that would be interpreted as this.
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" ุณูŠุชู… ุชูุณูŠุฑ ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ุญูˆ.
12:51
"I'm afraid to do that here."
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"ุฃุฎุดู‰ ุฃู† ุฃูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ู‡ู†ุง."
12:54
If someone at work, say, wanted to be your friend,
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ุฅุฐุง ุฃุฑุงุฏ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุณุจูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ ุŒ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุตุฏูŠู‚ูƒ ุŒ
12:59
and how would they approach you
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ูˆูƒูŠู ุณูŠุชุนุงู…ู„ ู…ุนูƒ
13:01
in a way that would make you feel open to that,
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ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุชุฌุนู„ูƒ ุชุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุงู†ูุชุงุญ ุนู„ู‰ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
13:04
do you think?
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ู‡ู„ ุชุนุชู‚ุฏุŸ
13:05
- Yeah, that's actually a really
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง
13:06
difficult question to answer, I think.
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ุณุคุงู„ ูŠุตุนุจ ุงู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ.
13:09
For me, the default should be to be pretty direct.
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ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุŒ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ูˆุถุน ุงู„ุงูุชุฑุงุถูŠ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุจุงุดุฑู‹ุง ุฌุฏู‹ุง.
13:14
"You can be as direct as I am
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"ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุจุงุดุฑู‹ุง ุจู‚ุฏุฑ ู…ุง ุฃู†ุง
13:19
"new to the culture of making friends in America.
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" ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ุนู„ู‰ ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง.
13:22
"And it was great talking with you about the movie
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"ูˆูƒุงู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฑุงุฆุน ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุนูƒ ุนู† ุงู„ููŠู„ู…
13:26
"over lunch, would you be open to hanging out sometime?"
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" ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุบุฏุงุก ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุณุชูƒูˆู† ู…ู†ูุชุญู‹ุง ู„ู„ุชุณูƒุน ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุงุŸ "
13:32
I do think that Americans,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ุŒ
13:35
compared to a lot of other cultures can come off
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ู…ู‚ุงุฑู†ุฉ ุจุงู„ุนุฏูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุงุช ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง
13:38
as a little bit chilly or standoffish.
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ุจุงุฑุฏูŠู† ุฃูˆ ู…ุชุฎู„ููŠู† ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹.
13:44
But I think that right behind that is a desire to connect,
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ู„ูƒู† ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ูˆุฑุงุก ุฐู„ูƒ ู…ุจุงุดุฑุฉู‹ ุงู„ุฑุบุจุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุŒ
13:48
and I would say being direct is the way to go.
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ูˆุฃูˆุฏ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู† ูƒูˆู†ูƒ ู…ุจุงุดุฑู‹ุง ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุณุจูŠู„ ู„ู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ.
13:53
You could sit back and try to figure out,
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุฌู„ูˆุณ ูˆู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุงูƒุชุดุงู ุŒ "ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ
13:55
"Well maybe if I did it this way or this way or this way",
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ุฑุจู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูุนู„ุช ุฐู„ูƒ ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฃูˆ ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฃูˆ ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ" ุŒ
13:58
put yourself out there and take on this sort of,
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ุถุน ู†ูุณูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุฎุงุฑุฌ ูˆุชู‚ุจู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ุŒ
14:02
even if you have to fake it,
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ุญุชู‰ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชุฒูŠูŠูู‡ ุŒ
14:04
take on the spirit of courage and directness
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ุชุญู„ู‰ ุจุฑูˆุญ ุงู„ุดุฌุงุนุฉ ูˆุงู„ุตุฑุงุญุฉ
14:06
and just say, "Hey, would you be up for going
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ูˆู‚ู„ ูู‚ุท ุŒ "ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุณุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุณุชุนุฏู‹ุง ู„ู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ
14:11
"to lunch sometime?
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" ู„ุชู†ุงูˆู„ ุงู„ุบุฏุงุก ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุงุŸ
14:12
"Or what about coffee some afternoon?"
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"ุฃูˆ ู…ุงุฐุง ุนู† ู‚ู‡ูˆุฉ ููŠ ูุชุฑุฉ ู…ุง ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุธู‡ูŠุฑุฉุŸ "
14:15
You just gotta go for it.
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ุนู„ูŠูƒ ูู‚ุท ุฃู† ุชุจุญุซ ุนู†ู‡ุง. -
14:17
- What do you think about this idea?
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ู…ุง ุฑุฃูŠูƒ ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ููƒุฑุฉุŸ
14:18
I think a lot of people are interested in
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู…ู‡ุชู…ูˆู†
14:22
things they don't know much about,
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ุจุฃุดูŠุงุก ู„ุง ูŠุนุฑููˆู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ุนู†ู‡ุง ุŒ
14:24
and a lot of people love having a hook-up,
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ูˆูŠุญุจ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฅู‚ุงู…ุฉ ุนู„ุงู‚ุงุช ุŒ
14:27
someone that knows a lot about something.
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ุดุฎุต ูŠุนุฑู ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ุนู† ุดูŠุก ู…ุง.
14:30
What if someone approached you and said,
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ู…ุงุฐุง ู„ูˆ ุงู‚ุชุฑุจ ู…ู†ูƒ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ูˆู‚ุงู„ ุŒ
14:33
like let's say a Japanese co-worker, and said,
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ู…ุซู„ ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ู‚ูˆู„ ุฒู…ูŠู„ ุนู…ู„ ูŠุงุจุงู†ูŠ ุŒ ูˆู‚ุงู„ ุŒ "
14:36
"Hey, there's this great Japanese restaurant,
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ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ุทุนู… ุงู„ูŠุงุจุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ุฑุงุฆุน ุŒ
14:39
"do you want to come with me sometime?
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" ู‡ู„ ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุชุฃุชูŠ ู…ุนูŠ ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุงุŸ
14:41
"And I can show you all the best foods."
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"ูˆูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃุฑูŠูƒู… ุฃูุถู„ ุงู„ุฃุทุนู…ุฉ."
14:44
Or something like that, a way to invite them
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ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‚ุจูŠู„ ุŒ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู„ุฏุนูˆุชู‡ู…
14:46
into your own culture in a way within America
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ุฅู„ู‰ ุซู‚ุงูุชูƒ ุงู„ุฎุงุตุฉ ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฏุงุฎู„ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง
14:49
or to be able to share something unique about yourself
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ุฃูˆ ู„ุชูƒูˆู† ู‚ุงุฏุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุดุงุฑูƒุฉ ุดูŠุก ูุฑูŠุฏ ุนู†ูƒ
14:53
could also be a really great way to pique someone's interest
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ู‚ุฏ ุชูƒูˆู† ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ู„ุฅุซุงุฑุฉ ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
14:57
in you and what you have to offer.
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ุจูƒ ูˆู…ุง ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู„ุชู‚ุฏู…ู‡.
14:59
- Yeah, I think that's a great point.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ.
15:01
And related, no matter what kind of activity,
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ูˆู…ุง ูŠุชุตู„ ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ุจุบุถ ุงู„ู†ุธุฑ ุนู† ู†ูˆุน ุงู„ู†ุดุงุท ุŒ
15:05
if you know that you're interested in going to something
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุนู„ู… ุฃู†ูƒ ู…ู‡ุชู… ุจุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุดูŠุก ู…ุง
15:08
or planning to go to something, you can say,
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ุฃูˆ ุงู„ุชุฎุทูŠุท ู„ู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุดูŠุก ู…ุง ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
15:12
"Hey, on Friday right after work,
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ูŠูˆู… ุงู„ุฌู…ุนุฉ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ู…ุจุงุดุฑุฉ
15:15
"I'm going to a show that just opened that the museum.
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" ุŒ ุณุฃุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุนุฑุถ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูุชุญุช ู„ู„ุชูˆ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุชุญู.
15:19
"Any chance you'd like to join me for that?"
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"ู‡ู„ ุชุฑุบุจ ููŠ ุงู„ุงู†ุถู…ุงู… ุฅู„ูŠ ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ ุฐู„ูƒุŸ"
15:23
Because that gives the person a lot of space to say,
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ู„ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ูŠู…ู†ุญ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุณุงุญุฉ ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ ู„ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
15:26
"Oh no, I can't, thanks anyway."
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"ุฃูˆู‡ ู„ุง ุŒ ู„ุง ุฃุณุชุทูŠุน ุŒ ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุฃูŠ ุญุงู„."
15:29
That's a little bit easier than saying,
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ู‡ุฐุง ุฃุณู‡ู„ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
15:33
"Hey, can you and I do something sometime?
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุดูŠุก ู…ุง ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุงุŸ
15:36
"I have a plan, would you like to come with me on it?"
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" ู„ุฏูŠ ุฎุทุฉ ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชูˆุฏ ุฃู† ุชุฃุชูŠ ู…ุนูŠุŸ "
15:39
It implies, "I'm going either way."
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ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุชุนู†ูŠ ุŒ" ุฃู†ุง ุฐุงู‡ุจ ููŠ ุฃูŠ ุงุชุฌุงู‡. "
15:41
It makes it more casual.
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ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุบูŠุฑ ุฑุณู…ูŠุฉ ุฃูƒุซุฑ.
15:42
- And it's also a really good point,
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- ูˆู‡ูŠ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
15:44
if you find something that's happening locally
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ุฅุฐุง ูˆุฌุฏุช ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุง ูŠุญุฏุซ ู…ุญู„ูŠู‹ุง
15:47
that's really interesting,
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ู…ุซูŠุฑู‹ุง ู„ู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
15:49
then that can be part of what's happening.
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ููŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู…ุง ูŠุญุฏุซ.
15:52
I personally think a lot of Americans like doing things.
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ุฃู†ุง ุดุฎุตูŠุงู‹ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ูŠุญุจูˆู† ูุนู„ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก.
15:56
And so the idea of just sitting down to a conversation
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ูˆู„ุฐุง ูุฅู† ููƒุฑุฉ ู‚ุฏ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุงู„ุฌู„ูˆุณ ู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ
15:59
with somebody with no purpose
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ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุจู„ุง ู‡ุฏู
16:02
might seem a little bit strange,
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ุบุฑูŠุจู‹ุง ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุŒ
16:04
but if it's the idea of going
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ุช ููƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ
16:05
and doing something interesting with someone
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ูˆุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุดูŠุก ู…ู…ุชุน ู…ุน ุดุฎุต
16:08
that that might be more appealing.
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ู…ุง ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฌุงุฐุจูŠุฉ.
16:10
Invite them to, like you said, a museum opening,
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ุงุฏุนูู‡ู… ุŒ ูƒู…ุง ู‚ู„ุช ุŒ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงูุชุชุงุญ ู…ุชุญู ุŒ
16:13
or a concert, or in Philadelphia,
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ุฃูˆ ุญูู„ุฉ ู…ูˆุณูŠู‚ูŠุฉ ุŒ ุฃูˆ ููŠ ููŠู„ุงุฏู„ููŠุง ุŒ
16:15
there's all sorts of interesting events going on
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ูƒู„ ุฃู†ูˆุงุน ุงู„ุฃุญุฏุงุซ ุงู„ู…ู…ุชุนุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุฌุฑูŠ
16:17
in the summer outside, this kind of thing.
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ููŠ ุงู„ุตูŠู ุจุงู„ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุŒ ูˆู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก.
16:20
So that could also be a great way to
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ
16:23
make that first ask of somebody,
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ู„ุชู‚ุฏูŠู… ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุทู„ุจ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ ู…ู† ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุŒ
16:26
taking them from a co-worker to hanging out once could be,
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ูˆู†ู‚ู„ู‡ู… ู…ู† ุฒู…ูŠู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ ู…ุฑุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ุŒ ู‚ู…
16:32
invite them into your own culture in some way,
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ุจุฏุนูˆุชู‡ู… ุฅู„ู‰ ุซู‚ุงูุชูƒ ุงู„ุฎุงุตุฉ ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุง ุŒ
16:34
or invite them to go do something really cool
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ุฃูˆ ุงุฏุนู‡ู… ู„ู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุดูŠุก ุฑุงุฆุน ุญู‚ู‹ุง
16:37
within the city or the place where you live.
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ุฏุงุฎู„ ุงู„ู…ุฏูŠู†ุฉ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุนูŠุด ููŠู‡.
16:42
So to wrap this up, making friends in America can be hard,
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ุญุชู‰ ู†ุฎุชุชู… ู‡ุฐุง ุŒ ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ุฃู…ุฑู‹ุง ุตุนุจู‹ุง ุŒ
16:46
and one thing we didn't get to is that for both you and me,
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ูˆุงู„ุดูŠุก ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู„ู… ู†ุญุตู„ ุนู„ูŠู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ูˆู„ูƒู… ุŒ
16:51
after college, we've had a hard time making friends,
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ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุฌุงู…ุนุฉ ุŒ ูˆุงุฌู‡ู†ุง ุตุนูˆุจุฉ ููŠ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุŒ
16:55
like where do you meet people?
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ู…ุซู„ ุฃูŠู† ุชู‚ุงุจู„ ุฃุดุฎุงุตู‹ุง ุŸ
16:57
And this is something I've discussed with other friends too
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ุดูŠุก ู†ุงู‚ุดุชู‡ ู…ุน ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง
16:59
when they move somewhere new.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠู†ุชู‚ู„ูˆู† ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ูƒุงู† ุฌุฏูŠุฏ.
17:01
So if you're a non-native speaker living in the US
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู…ุชุญุฏุซู‹ุง ุบูŠุฑ ุฃุตู„ูŠ ูˆุชุนูŠุด ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ
17:05
and you're feeling this, you're not alone.
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ูˆุชุดุนุฑ ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ูุฃู†ุช ู„ุณุช ูˆุญุฏูƒ.
17:07
I also feel that it's hard to make friends.
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ุฃุดุนุฑ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุนุจ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช.
17:10
But a couple of ways to try to do that,
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ู„ูƒู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุชุงู† ู„ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
17:13
find places where you'll be seeing the same people
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ุงุจุญุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุงูƒู† ุงู„ุชูŠ ุณุชุฑู‰ ููŠู‡ุง ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต
17:15
more than once in a structured environment.
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ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ู…ุฑุฉ ููŠ ุจูŠุฆุฉ ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ.
17:18
And say yes if you get asked to do something,
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ูˆู‚ู„ ู†ุนู… ุฅุฐุง ุทูู„ุจ ู…ู†ูƒ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุดูŠุก ู…ุง ุŒ
17:22
try to be outgoing,
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ูุญุงูˆู„ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ู†ูุชุญู‹ุง ุŒ
17:26
and maybe even be the person to make the ask.
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ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ุญุชู‰ ุชูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุทู„ุจ ู…ู†ูƒ ุฐู„ูƒ.
17:30
And this is something that we've talked about,
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ุดูŠุก ุชุญุฏุซู†ุง ุนู†ู‡ ุŒ
17:32
as I said, in the podcast and I thought,
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ูƒู…ุง ู‚ู„ุช ุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ูˆููƒุฑุช ุŒ
17:36
I mean, that's been really well received,
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ุชู… ุงุณุชู‚ุจุงู„ู‡ ุฌูŠุฏู‹ุง ุŒ
17:38
I think that's been really helpful for people,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูƒุงู† ู…ููŠุฏู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู„ู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ
17:39
so you don't have to go anywhere to find that,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ูŠุณ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃูŠ ู…ูƒุงู† ุชุฌุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
17:42
I don't want to make you click,
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ู„ุง ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุฌุนู„ูƒ ุชู†ู‚ุฑ ุŒ
17:43
we're gonna play it right now.
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ุณู†ู‚ูˆู… ุจุชุดุบูŠู„ู‡ ุงู„ุขู†.
17:45
Keep in mind it's just audio, but we'll play it here,
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ุถุน ููŠ ุงุนุชุจุงุฑูƒ ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุตูˆุช ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู†ุง ุณู†ู‚ูˆู… ุจุชุดุบูŠู„ู‡ ู‡ู†ุง ุŒ
17:49
and if you want a transcript of that podcast,
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ูˆุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุฑูŠุฏ ู†ุณุฎุฉ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุŒ ูุฅู†
17:53
all of the transcripts from my podcasts are free
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ุฌู…ูŠุน ุงู„ู†ุตูˆุต ู…ู† ู…ู„ูุงุช ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุงู„ุฎุงุตุฉ ุจูŠ ู…ุฌุงู†ูŠุฉ
17:56
and I'll put the link on the screen
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ูˆุณุฃุถุน ุงู„ุฑุงุจุท ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุดุงุดุฉ
17:58
and also in the video description,
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ูˆุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ููŠ ูˆุตู ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุŒ
18:00
or you can go download a free transcript of the podcast.
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ุฃูˆ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุชู†ุฒูŠู„ ู†ุณุฎุฉ ู…ุฌุงู†ูŠุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช.
18:05
So do you have any other words or ideas of advice for people
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ูู‡ู„ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ูƒู„ู…ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุฃููƒุงุฑ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ู„ู„ู†ุตุงุฆุญ ู„ู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต
18:11
who were not born in America, living in America,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ู„ู… ูŠูˆู„ุฏูˆุง ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ุŒ ูˆูŠุนูŠุดูˆู† ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ุŒ
18:14
trying to connect with Americans?
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ูˆูŠุญุงูˆู„ูˆู† ุงู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†ุŸ
18:16
- Yeah well, no I think, as you were talking, it just,
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุŒ ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุชุญุฏุซ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ
18:19
it brought up for me how much Americans
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ุฃูˆุถุญุช ู„ูŠ ู…ุฏู‰
18:21
are looking for connection too.
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ุจุญุซ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ุนู† ุงู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
18:23
It might feel one-sided, like,
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ู‚ุฏ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ู† ุฌุงู†ุจ ูˆุงุญุฏ ุŒ ู…ุซู„ ุŒ
18:25
"Ah, I have to put myself out there,
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"ุขู‡ ุŒ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃุถุน ู†ูุณูŠ ููŠ ู…ูƒุงู† ุขุฎุฑ ุŒ
18:26
"and it's not my native language",
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" ูˆู‡ูŠ ู„ูŠุณุช ู„ุบุชูŠ ุงู„ุฃู… "ุŒ
18:28
but I think as you practice that
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ูƒ ุชู…ุงุฑุณ ุฐู„ูƒ
18:31
and maybe get shot down a couple times, who cares?
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ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ุชุชุนุฑุถ ู„ู„ู‡ุฌูˆู… ุนุฏุฉ ู…ุฑุงุช ุŒ ู…ู† ูŠู‡ุชู…ุŸ
18:34
I think you'll find that a lot of Americans
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ุณุชุฌุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†
18:37
are really seeking that kind of more real connection too.
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ูŠุณุนูˆู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ุงู„ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
18:41
So just kind of trust that and go for it.
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ู„ุฐุง ุŒ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชุซู‚ ุจู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ูˆุงุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ูŠู‡.
18:43
- Yes, I think that's a great point,
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ุŒ
18:45
even though it might not seem like it,
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ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุบู… ู…ู† ุฃู†ู‡ุง ู‚ุฏ ู„ุง ุชุจุฏูˆ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
18:48
if you're willing to break the ice,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ ู„ูƒุณุฑ ุงู„ุฌู…ูˆุฏ ุŒ
18:50
I think you might find that there's a lot of willingness
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ูƒ ู‚ุฏ ุชุฌุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ
18:53
to connect and to be friends.
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ู„ู„ุชูˆุงุตู„ ูˆุฃู† ู†ูƒูˆู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก.
18:56
- Okay, well David, thanks for joining me
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ู„ุงู†ุถู…ุงู…ูƒ ุฅู„ูŠ
18:58
for this conversation about friendships in America.
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ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง.
19:01
That's it guys, thanks so much for using Rachel's English,
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ู‡ุฐุง ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚ ุŒ ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ุฌุฒูŠู„ุงู‹ ู„ุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… Rachel's English ุŒ
19:05
and stay tuned to listen to that podcast.
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ูˆุงุจู‚ ุนู„ู‰ ุงุชุตุงู„ ู„ู„ุงุณุชู…ุงุน ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช.
19:11
You are listening to the Rachel's English Podcast.
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ุฃู†ุช ุชุณุชู…ุน ุฅู„ู‰ Rachel's English Podcast.
19:13
I'm so glad to have you here.
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ุฃู†ุง ุณุนูŠุฏ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ูˆุฌูˆุฏูƒ ู‡ู†ุง.
19:15
In this podcast, we discuss topics in American conversation,
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ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุŒ ู†ู†ุงู‚ุด ู…ูˆุงุถูŠุน ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠุฉ
19:19
pronunciation and culture.
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ูˆุงู„ู†ุทู‚ ูˆุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ
19:22
And today's episode focuses on culture.
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ูˆุชุฑูƒุฒ ุญู„ู‚ุฉ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุŒ
19:26
If you would like a free transcript for this podcast,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุฑุบุจ ููŠ ู†ุณุฎุฉ ู…ุฌุงู†ูŠุฉ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุŒ
19:30
just visit RachelsEnglish.com/podcast
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ูู‚ุท ู‚ู… ุจุฒูŠุงุฑุฉ RachelsEnglish.com/podcast
19:33
and look for this episode.
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ูˆุงุจุญุซ ุนู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุญู„ู‚ุฉ.
19:35
Today, I'm here with my husband David.
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ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ู‡ู†ุง ู…ุน ุฒูˆุฌูŠ ุฏูŠููŠุฏ.
19:36
Hey, David.
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ูŠุง ุฏูŠููŠุฏ.
19:37
- Hey, everybody.
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- ุฃู‡ู„ุง ุฌู…ูŠุนุง.
19:38
- And we're going to talk about
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- ูˆุณู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู†
19:39
friendships in America.
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ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง.
19:41
David, you have lots of friends.
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ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก.
19:43
- I do.
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- ุฃูุนู„.
19:44
- So I think you're probably gonna have
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- ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุฑุฌุญ
19:45
a lot to add to this one.
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ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู„ุชุถูŠูู‡ ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง.
19:47
- All right.
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง.
19:48
- So I went to,
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- ู„ุฐุง ุฐู‡ุจุช ุฅู„ู‰ ุŒ
19:49
the thing that made me think about this podcast
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ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฌุนู„ู†ูŠ ุฃููƒุฑ ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช
19:52
is two different emails that I got.
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ู‡ูˆ ุฑุณุงู„ุชูŠ ุจุฑูŠุฏ ุฅู„ูƒุชุฑูˆู†ูŠ ู…ุฎุชู„ูุชูŠู† ุชู„ู‚ูŠุชู‡ู…ุง.
19:55
Actually, one was a comment on YouTube.
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ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ูƒุงู† ุฃุญุฏู‡ุง ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ YouTube. ูˆู‚ุงู„
19:58
And this person whose username is Management Courses said,
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ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูƒุงู† ุงุณู… ุงู„ู…ุณุชุฎุฏู… ุงู„ุฎุงุต ุจู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุฏูˆุฑุงุช ุงู„ุฅุฏุงุฑุฉ ุŒ
20:02
"You're so lucky to have friends who are supportive,
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"ุฃู†ุช ู…ุญุธูˆุธ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ูˆุฌูˆุฏ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุฏุงุนู…ูŠู† ู„ูƒ" ุŒ
20:05
"both males and females."
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ุฐูƒูˆุฑู‹ุง ูˆุฅู†ุงุซู‹ุง. "
20:07
David, this was on a video that I made with Dave at
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ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ููŠ ู…ู‚ุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู‚ู…ุช ุจุฅู†ุดุงุฆู‡ ู…ุน ุฏูŠู ููŠ
20:10
the 4th of July when we were in Clark Park
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ุงู„ุฑุงุจุน ู…ู† ูŠูˆู„ูŠูˆ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒู†ุง ููŠ ูƒู„ุงุฑูƒ ุจุงุฑูƒ
20:13
talking about 4th of July traditions.
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ู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุชู‚ุงู„ูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฑุงุจุน ู…ู† ูŠูˆู„ูŠูˆ.
20:15
- Right, okay. - Do you remember that video?
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง. - ู‡ู„ ุชุชุฐูƒุฑ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆุŸ
20:16
- Yeah, I do.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃูุนู„.
20:17
- I'll link to that video
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- ุณุฃุฑุจุท ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ
20:18
in the show notes, everybody,
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ููŠ ู…ู„ุงุญุธุงุช ุงู„ุนุฑุถ ุŒ ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุŒ
20:20
but it was me with a friend, who's a man,
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ูƒู†ุช ู…ุน ุตุฏูŠู‚ ุŒ ู…ู† ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ุŒ
20:22
discussing what we like to do on the 4th of July.
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ูŠู†ุงู‚ุด ู…ุง ู†ูˆุฏ ูุนู„ู‡ ููŠ ุงู„ุฑุงุจุน ู…ู† ูŠูˆู„ูŠูˆ.
20:25
So this person says, "Can you make a video
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุŒ "ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฅู†ุดุงุก ููŠุฏูŠูˆ
20:27
"on how to build more supportive friendships?
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" ุญูˆู„ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุจู†ุงุก ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฏุนู…ู‹ุงุŸ
20:30
"What do you do to be a better friend?
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"ู…ุงุฐุง ุชูุนู„ ู„ุชูƒูˆู† ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ุฃูุถู„ุŸ
20:32
"In my culture, after marriage,
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"ููŠ ุซู‚ุงูุชูŠ ุŒ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุฒูˆุงุฌ ุŒ
20:34
"the wife's friendships suffer,
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" ุชุนุงู†ูŠ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุงู„ุฒูˆุฌุฉ
20:37
"and you can't keep close friendships with the opposite sex.
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"ุŒ ูˆู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุงุญุชูุงุธ ุจุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ูˆุซูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ." ูƒุงู†
20:41
"I had the misconception that Americans
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ู„ุฏูŠ ุชุตูˆุฑ ุฎุงุทุฆ ุจุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†
20:43
don't value friendship,
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ู„ุง ูŠู‚ุฏุฑูˆู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ
20:44
"or their friendships are not long-lasting, or shallow.
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"ุŒ ุฃูˆ ุฃู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุชู‡ู… ู„ูŠุณุช ุทูˆูŠู„ุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฏ ุŒ ุฃูˆ ุถุญู„ุฉ.
20:48
"Your videos showed me the opposite."
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"ุฃุธู‡ุฑุช ู„ูŠ ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุงู„ุฎุงุตุฉ ุจูƒ ุงู„ุนูƒุณ."
20:50
So that's great, I'm so glad that my videos showed
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุฑุงุฆุน ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุณุนูŠุฏ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ุฃู† ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุงู„ุฎุงุตุฉ ุจูŠ ุฃุธู‡ุฑุช
20:52
that Americans do value friendship,
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ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ูŠู‚ุฏุฑูˆู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุŒ
20:54
and that friendships are not just shallow or short-lived.
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ูˆุฃู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ู„ูŠุณุช ูู‚ุท ุถุญู„ุฉ ุฃูˆ ู‚ุตูŠุฑุฉ ุงู„ุนู…ุฑ.
20:59
- Absolutely.
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- ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ.
21:00
- But so, let's try to talk
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- ูˆู„ูƒู† ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุญุงูˆู„ ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ
21:02
a little bit about friendships.
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ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹ ุนู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช.
21:04
Let's focus in on some of the specific questions.
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ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุฑูƒุฒ ุนู„ู‰ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุณุฆู„ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุญุฏุฏุฉ.
21:07
How to build more supportive friendships?
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ูƒูŠู ู†ุจู†ูŠ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฏุนู…ู‹ุงุŸ
21:10
Now part of what's so great about having David
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ุงู„ุขู† ุฌุฒุก ู…ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุนุธูŠู… ููŠ ูˆุฌูˆุฏ ุฏูŠููŠุฏ
21:14
on this podcast is not only does he have a ton of friends,
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ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ู„ูŠุณ ูู‚ุท ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุŒ
21:17
but he's also a therapist,
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู‡ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ู…ุนุงู„ุฌ ู†ูุณูŠ ุŒ
21:19
and so he talks to a lot of other people
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ูˆู„ุฐุง ูู‡ูˆ ูŠุชุญุฏุซ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†
21:21
about their friendships and their relationships in general,
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ุญูˆู„ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุชู‡ู… ูˆุนู„ุงู‚ุงุชู‡ู… ุจุดูƒู„ ุนุงู… ุŒ
21:25
and has a lot of things to say about
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ูˆู„ุฏูŠู‡ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู„ูŠู‚ูˆู„ู‡ุง ุญูˆู„
21:28
this kind of thing, I think.
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ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ.
21:29
David, what would you say makes a better friend?
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ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ู…ุง ู‚ุฏ ุชู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ูŠุฌุนู„ ุตุฏูŠู‚ ุฃูุถู„ุŸ
21:34
Makes someone a good friend?
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ูŠุฌุนู„ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ู…ุง ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ุฌูŠุฏู‹ุงุŸ
21:36
- Sure.
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- ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ.
21:38
First of all I guess while I'm thinking of it,
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ุฃูˆู„ุงู‹ ูˆู‚ุจู„ ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃุซู†ุงุก ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุŒ
21:40
I think part of what's interesting is that
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ุซูŠุฑ ู„ู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡
21:43
from a non-native speaker's perspective
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ู…ู† ู…ู†ุธูˆุฑ ู…ุชุญุฏุซ ุบูŠุฑ ุฃุตู„ูŠ
21:45
or someone who's new to American culture,
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ุฃูˆ ุดุฎุต ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ููŠ ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠุฉ ุŒ
21:48
I think because of advertising and sort of
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ุฃููƒุฑ ุจุณุจุจ ุงู„ุฅุนู„ุงู†ุงุช ูˆู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ
21:52
just the way things look from the outside,
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ุชุจุฏูˆ ุจู‡ุง ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู…ู† ุงู„ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุŒ
21:57
I think it's easy to assume that for all of us really
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ุณู‡ู„ ุฃู† ู†ูุชุฑุถ ุฃู†ู‡ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู†ุง ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ุŒ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ
22:02
that for other people, making friends is really easy.
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ู„ู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ุŒ ูุฅู† ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃู…ุฑ ุณู‡ู„ ุญู‚ู‹ุง.
22:05
I think it's something that we feel like
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุดูŠุก ู†ุดุนุฑ ุฃู†ู‡
22:08
we should be able to do,
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ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ู†ูƒูˆู† ู‚ุงุฏุฑูŠู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ุŒ
22:11
well, everybody else is out there having a good time,
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ูŠู‚ุถูˆู† ูˆู‚ุชู‹ุง ู…ู…ุชุนู‹ุง ุŒ
22:13
look at everybody on TV, when in reality,
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ูŠู†ุธุฑูˆู† ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุนู„ู‰ ุดุงุดุฉ ุงู„ุชู„ูุฒูŠูˆู† ุŒ ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ
22:16
I think the opposite is true,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุนูƒุณ ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุตุญูŠุญ ุŒ
22:18
I think the majority of people are either
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุบุงู„ุจูŠุฉ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฅู…ุง ุฃู†ู‡ู…
22:22
wishing they had more friendships
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ูŠุชู…ู†ูˆู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช
22:24
or wishing that things about the friendships
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ุฃูˆ ูŠุชู…ู†ูˆู† ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ู…ุชุนู„ู‚ุฉ ุจุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช
22:27
that they do have might be a little bit different,
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ู‚ุฏ ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุŒ
22:30
like they often wish that they were more close
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ู…ุซู„ู…ุง ูŠุชู…ู†ูˆู† ููŠ ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู‚ุฑุจู‹ุง
22:33
with more people.
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ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต.
22:35
So I think that's the first thing that popped in my mind
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุฃูˆู„ ู…ุง ุฎุทุฑ ุจุจุงู„ูŠ
22:36
is that a lot of people,
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ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ ู…ู†
22:40
non-native speakers and native speakers alike
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ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุทู‚ูŠู† ุจู‡ุง ูˆุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุตู„ูŠูŠู† ุนู„ู‰ ุญุฏ ุณูˆุงุก
22:43
struggle with this, even though I don't think,
483
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ูŠุนุงู†ูˆู† ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุบู… ู…ู† ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุŒ
22:45
I mean, I really appreciate the courage in the question
484
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุฃู‚ุฏุฑ ุงู„ุดุฌุงุนุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุณุคุงู„
22:47
because I don't think a lot of people bring this up.
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุชุญุฏุซูˆู† ุนู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ.
22:50
- Yeah, it's a good point.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฅู†ู‡ุง ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ.
22:52
I mean as I'm sitting here listening to you talk about this
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุฌู„ุณ ู‡ู†ุง ุฃุณุชู…ุน ุฅู„ูŠูƒ ุชุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ู‡ุฐุง ุŒ
22:55
I'm thinking I could definitely say that this is true
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญ
22:59
of me living in Philadelphia.
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ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฃุนูŠุด ููŠ ููŠู„ุงุฏู„ููŠุง. ู„ู‚ุฏ
23:01
I've been here for three years now
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ูƒู†ุช ู‡ู†ุง ู…ู†ุฐ ุซู„ุงุซ ุณู†ูˆุงุช ุŒ
23:03
and I'm definitely starting to make some friends
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ูˆุจุฏุฃุช ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ููŠ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก
23:06
that feel like really, really quality friendships,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุดุนุฑูˆู† ูˆูƒุฃู†ู‡ู… ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
23:10
but I can't say that I've made any of those by myself.
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ู„ูƒู† ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†ู†ูŠ ุตู†ุนุช ุฃูŠู‹ุง ู…ู† ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุจู†ูุณูŠ.
23:15
They're all friends that I made through David,
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ุฅู†ู‡ู… ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู‚ู…ุช ุจุชูƒูˆูŠู†ู‡ู… ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ
23:18
that David already had established
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุฃู‚ุงู… ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุจุงู„ูุนู„
23:20
some sort of a relationship with,
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ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ู…ุนู‡ู… ุŒ
23:22
like I haven't met somebody that I have turned
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ูƒู…ุง ู„ูˆ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ู… ุฃู‚ุงุจู„ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ุชุญูˆู„ุช ุฅู„ูŠู‡
23:25
into a friend, really, on my own.
498
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ุฅู„ู‰ ุตุฏูŠู‚ ุŒ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ุจู…ูุฑุฏูŠ.
23:28
- You've been connected to some friends of friends.
499
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- ู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒู†ุช ู…ุชุตู„ุงู‹ ุจุจุนุถ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุงู„ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก.
23:30
- Yeah. - Also.
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- ู†ุนู…. - ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
23:32
- I mean, that's always the end, right?
501
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- ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉ ุฏุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
23:35
When you move somewhere new, you look for connections
502
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชู†ุชู‚ู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ูƒุงู† ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ุŒ ูุฅู†ูƒ ุชุจุญุซ ุนู† ุงุชุตุงู„ุงุช
23:38
you have to people that are there already,
503
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ู…ูˆุฌูˆุฏูŠู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุจุงู„ูุนู„ ุŒ
23:40
but as far as if you were moving to America to go to school
504
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุจู‚ุฏุฑ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุณุชู†ุชู‚ู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ู„ู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ
23:45
or for a job or something where you didn't already have
505
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ุฃูˆ ู„ู„ุญุตูˆู„ ุนู„ู‰ ูˆุธูŠูุฉ ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ
23:49
anyone established in that town or in that city,
506
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ููŠู‡ ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ุจุงู„ูุนู„. ููŠ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุฏูŠู†ุฉ ุฃูˆ ููŠ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุฏูŠู†ุฉ ุŒ
23:53
that would make it really hard to know where to start.
507
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ูู…ู† ุงู„ุตุนุจ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ู…ู† ุฃูŠู† ุชุจุฏุฃ.
23:55
And I think for me, I could definitely say as an adult
508
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ูƒุดุฎุต ุจุงู„ุบ ุจุนุฏ
24:00
three years into that experience,
509
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ุซู„ุงุซ ุณู†ูˆุงุช ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุชุฌุฑุจุฉ ุŒ
24:02
I don't really have people that I have met
510
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ู„ูŠุณ ู„ุฏูŠ ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู‚ุงุจู„ุชู‡ู… ุญู‚ู‹ุง
24:05
because I have been introduced to them in a way other than
511
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุชุนุฑูุช ุนู„ูŠู‡ู… ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุบูŠุฑ
24:09
through someone I already knew.
512
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ุดุฎุต ุฃุนุฑูู‡ ุจุงู„ูุนู„.
24:12
- Yeah, I follow.
513
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฃุชุงุจุน.
24:13
Right, it's not easy.
514
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ุตุญูŠุญ ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ู„ูŠุณ ุจุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุงู„ุณู‡ู„.
24:15
- No, it's really but.
515
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- ู„ุง ุŒ ุฅู†ู‡ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู„ูƒู†.
24:16
But having said that, we do have good friends here
516
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ู„ูƒู† ุจุนุฏ ู‚ูˆู„ูŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุŒ ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุญู…ูŠู…ูˆู† ู‡ู†ุง
24:20
and it is true that Americans do value friendship,
517
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ูˆุตุญูŠุญ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ูŠู‚ุฏุฑูˆู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุŒ
24:23
even though probably a lot of people
518
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ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุบู… ู…ู† ุฃู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
24:25
might like to have more friends
519
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ุฑุจู…ุง ูŠุฑุบุจูˆู† ููŠ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุฃูƒุซุฑ
24:27
or more closer friendships than they have.
520
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ุฃูˆ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู‚ุฑุจู‹ุง ู…ู…ุง ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู….
24:29
- Yeah, I think to answer that part of her question,
521
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฌุฒุก ู…ู† ุณุคุงู„ู‡ุง ุŒ
24:32
absolutely I think Americans very much value friendships.
522
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ูŠู‚ุฏุฑูˆู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ูƒุซูŠุฑู‹ุง.
24:36
Of course, it looks different in in all cultures,
523
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ุจุงู„ุทุจุน ุŒ ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ุฎุชู„ูู‹ุง ููŠ ุฌู…ูŠุน ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุงุช ุŒ
24:40
but I think also something,
524
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู† ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุง ุŒ
24:45
and the comment is also true that it can,
525
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ูˆุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ ุตุญูŠุญ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู…ูƒู† ุŒ
24:49
it can be difficult when it is across gender.
526
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ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุตุนุจู‹ุง ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุนุจุฑ ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ.
24:54
I mean, yes, your video with Dave at the park,
527
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุงู„ุฎุงุต ุจูƒ ู…ุน Dave at the park ุŒ
24:57
it's a great video and you guys are good friends
528
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ุฅู†ู‡ ู…ู‚ุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุฑุงุฆุน ูˆุฃู†ุชู… ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุฌูŠุฏูˆู†
24:59
and it is not a big deal at all,
529
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ูˆู„ูŠุณ ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฅุทู„ุงู‚ ุŒ
25:01
but I also think it's not uncommon for that to be
530
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ูŠุณ ู…ู† ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ุฃู„ูˆู ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง
25:05
something that causes tension in relationships--
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ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ูŠุณุจุจ ุงู„ุชูˆุชุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู„ุงู‚ุงุช -
25:08
- And complication, yeah, I thought it--
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- ูˆุงู„ู…ุถุงุนูุงุช ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุงุนุชู‚ุฏุช ุฐู„ูƒ -
25:11
- Not really complication, but tension.
533
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- ู„ูŠุณ ุชุนู‚ูŠุฏู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ุจู„ ุชูˆุชุฑ.
25:15
There's a temptation to be distrustful of your partner.
534
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุฅุบุฑุงุก ู„ุนุฏู… ุงู„ุซู‚ุฉ ููŠ ุดุฑูŠูƒูƒ.
25:19
- Yes, but I'm talking about for single people,
535
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ูŠ ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุนุฒุงุจ ุŒ
25:22
there's complication there.
536
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุชุนู‚ูŠุฏุงุช ู‡ู†ุงูƒ.
25:24
I mean you're talking about if you're married,
537
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุชุญุฏุซ ุนู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู…ุชุฒูˆุฌู‹ุง ุŒ
25:26
then like this person said, after marriage,
538
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ููƒู…ุง ู‚ุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุŒ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุฒูˆุงุฌ ุŒ
25:30
then friendship suffers and you can't keep close friends,
539
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ูุฅู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุชุนุงู†ูŠ ูˆู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุงุญุชูุงุธ ุจุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู…ู‚ุฑุจูŠู† ุŒ
25:34
keep close friendship with the opposite sex.
540
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ูˆุงู„ุญูุงุธ ุนู„ู‰ ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ูˆุซูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ.
25:35
- Yeah, I was commenting on that part.
541
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุนู„ู‚ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฌุฒุก.
25:36
- Okay, so yes, you're right,
542
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃู†ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุญู‚ ุŒ
25:38
it can be complicated if David had,
543
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ุนู‚ุฏู‹ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ
25:41
although you do have really close friends that are women,
544
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ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุบู… ู…ู† ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุจุงู„ูุนู„ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู…ู‚ุฑุจูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ุŒ
25:43
and it's not weird for me, yeah,
545
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ู„ูŠุณ ุบุฑูŠุจู‹ุง ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ
25:45
but I suppose it could be,
546
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃูุชุฑุถ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุŒ
25:46
depending on if one friendship just really
547
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ุงุนุชู…ุงุฏู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุงู†ุทู„ู‚ุช ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง
25:49
set out from the rest, stood out from the rest
548
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ู…ู† ุงู„ุจู‚ูŠุฉ ุŒ ูˆุจุฑุฒุช ุนู† ุงู„ุจู‚ูŠุฉ
25:51
as being just extra super important to you,
549
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ุจุงุนุชุจุงุฑู‡ุง ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุฃู‡ู…ูŠุฉ ูุงุฆู‚ุฉ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูƒ ุŒ
25:55
that could be hard for me.
550
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุตุนุจู‹ุง ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ.
25:56
- Well, I'm not saying it should cause tension,
551
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ู„ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠุณุจุจ ุงู„ุชูˆุชุฑ ุŒ
25:58
I think it should be the opposite.
552
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุนูƒุณ.
25:59
I think it should be,
553
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
26:00
the assumption should be that it's healthy and good and fine
554
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ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุงูุชุฑุงุถ ุฃู†ู‡ ุตุญูŠ ูˆุฌูŠุฏ ูˆุฌูŠุฏ ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ
26:04
but I'm just, to her point,
555
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ูู‚ุท ุŒ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู‡ุง ุŒ
26:06
it's not just in the culture that she's coming from,
556
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ู„ูŠุณ ูู‚ุท ููŠ ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุชุช ู…ู†ู‡ุง ุŒ
26:08
but I think here also, people make undue tension
557
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ู‡ู†ุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุตู†ุนูˆู† ุชูˆุชุฑู‹ุง ู„ุง ุฏุงุนูŠ
26:14
out of that situation here as well.
558
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ู„ู‡ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ูˆุถุน ู‡ู†ุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
26:15
- Yet in America, it's definitely allowed.
559
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- ู„ูƒู† ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุณู…ูˆุญ ุจู‡ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ.
26:18
It's definitely not strange to have friends
560
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ู„ูŠุณ ู…ู† ุงู„ุบุฑูŠุจ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก
26:20
of the opposite sex after you've become married.
561
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ู…ู† ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ ุจุนุฏ ุงู„ุฒูˆุงุฌ.
26:22
And it sounds like she might be saying
562
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ูˆูŠุจุฏูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ู‚ุฏ ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†
26:24
it's really frowned upon in her culture, but I do value,
563
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ู‡ุฐุง ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ุณุชู‡ุฌู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุซู‚ุงูุชู‡ุง ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃู‚ุฏุฑ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
26:30
like we have a friend who was one of my friends,
564
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ู…ุซู„ ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ูƒุงู† ุฃุญุฏ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูŠ ุŒ
26:33
now you've become really close with her, Renee,
565
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ูˆุงู„ุขู† ุฃุตุจุญุช ู‚ุฑูŠุจู‹ุง ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู…ู†ู‡ุง ุŒ ุฑูŠู†ูŠู‡ ุŒ
26:35
and I love that you're so close with her
566
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ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฃุญุจูƒ ุฃู†ุง ู‚ุฑูŠุจ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู…ู†ู‡ุง
26:38
because I love her too.
567
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุญุจู‡ุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
26:40
But yeah, I think that can be really special.
568
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ู„ูƒู† ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ู…ู…ูŠุฒู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง.
26:44
I do think when you're single
569
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ุนุงุฒุจู‹ุง
26:47
and you're friends with someone of the opposite sex
570
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ูˆุชูƒูˆู† ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ู† ุงู„ุฌู†ุณ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ ูŠูƒูˆู†
26:51
who's also single, if that friendship gets really close,
571
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ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃุนุฒุจ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ุช ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ู‚ุฑูŠุจุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุŒ
26:54
it can start to be complicated,
572
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุงู„ุชุนู‚ูŠุฏ ุŒ
26:57
people might be asking you a lot
573
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ู‚ุฏ ูŠุณุฃู„ูƒ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูƒุซูŠุฑู‹ุง
26:59
if there's something going on,
574
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุดูŠุก ู…ุง ูŠุญุฏุซ ุŒ
27:00
and I just know from personal experience that,
575
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ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฃุนู„ู… ูู‚ุท ู…ู† ุงู„ุชุฌุฑุจุฉ ุงู„ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ ุฃู†ู‡
27:04
at one point, at some point,
576
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ููŠ ู…ุฑุญู„ุฉ ู…ุง ุŒ ูˆููŠ ู…ุฑุญู„ุฉ ู…ุง ุŒ
27:06
you may need to have a conversation like,
577
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ู‚ุฏ ุชุญุชุงุฌ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฅุฌุฑุงุก ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ู…ุซู„ ุŒ
27:08
"Are we just friends, or are we more than friends?"
578
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"ู‡ู„ ู†ุญู† ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุŒ ุฃู… ุฃู†ู†ุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุกุŸ"
27:11
- Yeah, I see where you're going with this.
579
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุฑู‰ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃูŠู† ุฃู†ุช ุฐุงู‡ุจ ู…ุน ู‡ุฐุง.
27:13
Yeah, that's over more into what's romantic and what's not.
580
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ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ููŠ ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุฑูˆู…ุงู†ุณูŠ ูˆู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ.
27:17
- Actually, there was a Seinfeld episode,
581
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- ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ูƒุงู†ุช ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุญู„ู‚ุฉ ู…ู† ุณูŠู†ููŠู„ุฏ ุŒ
27:19
do you remember, David, where they were talking about
582
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ู‡ู„ ุชุชุฐูƒุฑ ูŠุง ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ุญูŠุซ ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ูŠุชุญุฏุซูˆู† ุนู† ู‡ู„
27:22
can men and women be friends?
583
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ูˆุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุกุŸ
27:25
- And I think it was Seinfeld was saying,
584
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- ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูƒุงู† ุณูŠู†ููŠู„ุฏ ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
27:28
no, they can't be, they can't be real friends.
585
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ู„ุง ุŒ ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู‡ู… ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠูŠู†.
27:31
They can't be friends where there's not any thought
586
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ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ุนุฏู… ูˆุฌูˆุฏ ุฃูŠ ููƒุฑุฉ
27:34
of romantic or physical attraction happening.
587
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ุนู† ุงู„ุงู†ุฌุฐุงุจ ุงู„ุนุงุทููŠ ุฃูˆ ุงู„ุฌุณุฏูŠ .
27:39
- Okay. - That was Seinfeld's take.
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- ุชู…ุงู…. - ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ุฑุฃูŠ ุณูŠู†ููŠู„ุฏ.
27:42
I would disagree, I think you can have a friendship
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ู„ุง ุฃูˆุงูู‚ ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ
27:44
that exists totally outside of the romantic
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ู…ูˆุฌูˆุฏุฉ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุงู„ุฑูˆู…ุงู†ุณูŠุฉ
27:47
and the physical.
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ูˆุงู„ู…ุงุฏูŠุฉ.
27:48
- I agree.
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- ุฃู†ุง ู…ูˆุงูู‚.
27:49
- Okay, but let's go back to the question
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ูƒู† ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุนูˆุฏ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ ุนู†
27:53
how to build more supportive friendships?
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ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุจู†ุงุก ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฏุนู…ู‹ุงุŸ
27:56
I mean I guess I would say, if it's an issue of
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุณุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ูŠุชุนู„ู‚
28:00
finding the people who you want to be friends with
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ุจุฅูŠุฌุงุฏ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู…ุนู‡ู…
28:02
in the first place, I mean,
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ููŠ ุงู„ู…ู‚ุงู… ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ ุŒ ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ
28:03
I know that this has been an issue for me,
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ุฃุนู„ู… ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ูƒุงู†ุช ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุŒ
28:05
how do I meet people?
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ูƒูŠู ุฃู‚ุงุจู„ ุฃุดุฎุงุตู‹ุงุŸ
28:08
When I think back on times when it was easy to meet people,
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃููƒุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุฃูˆู‚ุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒุงู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุณู‡ู„ ููŠู‡ุง ู…ู‚ุงุจู„ุฉ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ ูุฅู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ
28:10
it's like college, where there was this set place and time
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ูŠุดุจู‡ ุงู„ูƒู„ูŠุฉ ุŒ ุญูŠุซ ูƒุงู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ูˆุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ู…ุญุฏุฏ
28:14
where you were seeing people on a regular basis.
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ุญูŠุซ ูƒู†ุช ุชู‚ุงุจู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃุณุงุณ ู…ู†ุชุธู….
28:16
How do you recreate that as an adult no longer in school
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ูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฅุนุงุฏุฉ ุฅู†ุดุงุก ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒุดุฎุต ุจุงู„ุบ ู„ู… ูŠุนุฏ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ
28:21
outside of work?
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ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ุŸ
28:23
I mean, you could take a class.
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃุฎุฐ ูุตู„ ุฏุฑุงุณูŠ.
28:24
That's always a popular thing, take a class,
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ู‡ุฐุง ุฏุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ุดูŠุก ุดุงุฆุน ุŒ ุฎุฐ ูุตู„ู‹ุง ุฏุฑุงุณูŠู‹ุง ุŒ ูˆู‡ูˆ
28:28
something where you're gonna be seeing
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ุดูŠุก ุณุชู‚ุงุจู„ ููŠู‡
28:29
the same people over and over
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ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู…ุฑุงุฑู‹ุง ูˆุชูƒุฑุงุฑู‹ุง
28:30
that you have a common interest with.
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ู…ุดุชุฑูƒ ู…ุนู‡ู….
28:32
-I think one of the things
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- ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก
28:35
that I suggest to people is
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃู‚ุชุฑุญู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู‡ูˆ
28:38
spend some time thinking about
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ู‚ุถุงุก ุจุนุถ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ููŠ ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ููŠ
28:39
what are you most interested in,
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ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู‡ุชู… ุจู‡ุง ุŒ
28:41
what are you most passionate about,
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ูˆู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุดูŠุก ุฃู†ุช ุดุบูˆูู‹ุง ุจู‡ ุŒ
28:44
what brings out the best side of you,
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ูˆู…ุง ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุจุฑุฒ ุฃูุถู„ ุฌุงู†ุจ ููŠูƒ ุŒ ูˆู‡ูˆ
28:46
your curious engaged self?
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ุฐุงุชูƒ ุงู„ู…ุฑุชุจุท ุจุงู„ูุถูˆู„ุŸ
28:48
And then go find that out in the world somewhere
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ุซู… ุงุฐู‡ุจ ูˆุงูƒุชุดู ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุนุงู„ู… ููŠ ู…ูƒุงู† ู…ุง
28:51
where there are gonna be other people
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ุญูŠุซ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุขุฎุฑูˆู†
28:53
who are also interested in that.
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ู…ู‡ุชู…ูˆู† ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
28:54
So in other words, sometimes people think they should
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ุจุนุจุงุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุŒ ูŠุนุชู‚ุฏ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฃุญูŠุงู†ู‹ุง ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠุฌุจ ุนู„ูŠู‡ู…
28:58
take up a whole new interest in a class,
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ุงู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ุจูุตู„ ุฏุฑุงุณูŠ ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุŒ
29:03
like I've never drawn before,
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ูƒู…ุง ู„ู… ุฃุฑุณู…ู‡ ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ุŒ
29:04
so there's this part of my brain that goes
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฌุฒุก ู…ู† ุนู‚ู„ูŠ ุงู„ุฐูŠ
29:06
I should go take a drawing class.
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ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ูŠู‡ ู„ุฃุฎุฐ ุฏุฑุณ ู„ู„ุฑุณู….
29:08
Well actually, maybe it's not the best idea.
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ูŠุณุช ุฃูุถู„ ููƒุฑุฉ.
29:10
Go find something that you know is gonna have you
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ุงุฐู‡ุจ ูˆุงุจุญุซ ุนู† ุดูŠุก ุชุนุฑู ุฃู†ู‡ ุณูŠุฌุนู„ูƒ ุชุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุญูŠูˆูŠุฉ
29:13
really, really energized and curious
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ูˆุงู„ูุถูˆู„ ุญู‚ู‹ุง
29:17
because I think then you're gonna be
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ูƒ
29:20
meeting other people who are passionate about what you are,
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ุณุชู‚ุงุจู„ ุฃุดุฎุงุตู‹ุง ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ู…ุชุญู…ุณูŠู† ู„ู…ุง ุฃู†ุช ุนู„ูŠู‡ ุŒ
29:23
and it can make an easy bridge into
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠุดูƒู„ ุฌุณุฑู‹ุง ุณู‡ู„ู‹ุง ููŠ
29:25
some opening conversations.
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ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ุงู„ุงูุชุชุงุญูŠุฉ.
29:27
- That's a good idea, a good point,
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- ู‡ุฐู‡ ููƒุฑุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุŒ ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุŒ
29:28
go with something you know you love already.
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ุงุฐู‡ุจ ู…ุน ุดูŠุก ุชุนุฑู ุฃู†ูƒ ุชุญุจู‡ ุจุงู„ูุนู„.
29:31
Another thing is I have a friend, Cara,
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ุดูŠุก ุขุฎุฑ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠ ุตุฏูŠู‚ุฉ ุŒ ูƒุงุฑุง ุŒ
29:33
who just has the personality for meeting people.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ุง ูู‚ุท ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ ู„ู‚ุงุก ุงู„ู†ุงุณ.
29:36
She'll be on the subway and strike up a conversation.
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ุณุชูƒูˆู† ููŠ ู…ุชุฑูˆ ุงู„ุฃู†ูุงู‚ ูˆุชุจุฏุฃ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ.
29:39
She'll be checking out at a grocery store
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ุณุชู‚ูˆู… ุจุชุณุฌูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุบุงุฏุฑุฉ ููŠ ู…ุชุฌุฑ ุจู‚ุงู„ุฉ
29:41
and she'll make friends with people in line
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ูˆุณุชูƒูˆู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ู…ุน ุฃุดุฎุงุต ููŠ ุงู„ุทุงุจูˆุฑ ููŠ
29:45
waiting to check out as well.
639
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ุงู†ุชุธุงุฑ ุชุณุฌูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุบุงุฏุฑุฉ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
29:46
And that's not my personality, but I mean,
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ูˆู‡ุฐู‡ ู„ูŠุณุช ุดุฎุตูŠุชูŠ ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ
29:49
there's definitely something to be said for being outgoing
641
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุดูŠุก ูŠู…ูƒู† ู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ู„ูƒูˆู†ูƒ ุตุฑูŠุญู‹ุง
29:52
and just saying, "Oh hey, isn't this funny how",
642
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ูˆู…ุฌุฑุฏ ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ "ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุถุญูƒู‹ุง ูƒูŠู" ุŒ
29:56
whatever, starting a conversation.
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ุฃูŠุง ูƒุงู† ุŒ ุจุฏุก ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ.
29:58
- Right, the temptation is to think,
644
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุงู„ุฅุบุฑุงุก ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ุŒ
30:01
well, I need to make some friends,
645
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุจุญุงุฌุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุŒ
30:03
I have to go find some big, deep, meaningful friendships,
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ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุฃุนุซุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุงู„ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ ูˆุงู„ุนู…ูŠู‚ุฉ ูˆุฐุงุช ุงู„ู…ุบุฒู‰ ุŒ
30:06
when in reality the only way to do that
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ููŠ ุญูŠู† ุฃู† ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ู„ูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ
30:08
is to be always aware that you're sort of
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ู‡ูŠ ุฃู† ุชุฏุฑูƒ ุฏุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ุฃู†ูƒ ู„ุทูŠู
30:12
currently looking for friends and to strike up conversations
649
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ุจุงู„ุจุญุซ ุญุงู„ูŠู‹ุง ุนู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ูˆุฅุฌุฑุงุก ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช
30:15
'cause we don't know who's gonna actually be someone
650
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง ู„ุง ู†ุนุฑู ู…ู† ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุดุฎุตู‹ุง
30:19
that we have a good connection with
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ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ู…ุนู‡
30:21
unless we actually are out there,
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ุฅู„ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุง ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน
30:23
talking to lots of different people.
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ู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุนุฏูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ู…ุฎุชู„ููŠู†.
30:25
- Yeah, start small.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุงุจุฏุฃ ุตุบูŠุฑู‹ุง.
30:27
And I think in the US,
655
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ ุŒ ู…ู†
30:28
it is very appropriate to strike up conversations.
656
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ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุณุจ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุจุฏุก ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช.
30:31
Strike up means to start,
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ุงู„ุฅุถุฑุงุจ ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุฃู† ุชุจุฏุฃ ุŒ
30:34
and they can be sort of out of the blue.
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ู„ูˆู† ุงู„ุฃุฒุฑู‚.
30:35
Now we recently recorded a podcast where I was talking about
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ุงู„ุขู† ู‚ู…ู†ุง ู…ุคุฎุฑู‹ุง ุจุชุณุฌูŠู„ ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุญูŠุซ ูƒู†ุช ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู†
30:39
how that's my pet peeve.
660
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ูƒูŠู ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ุฒุนุฌ ุจู„ุฏูŠ ุงู„ุฃู„ูŠู.
30:42
As an introvert,
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818
30:42
I just don't like having these kinds of conversations,
662
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ุจุตูุชูŠ ุงู†ุทูˆุงุฆูŠู‹ุง ุŒ
ู„ุง ุฃุญุจ ุฅุฌุฑุงุก ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฃู†ูˆุงุน ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ุŒ
30:45
but don't let that stop you.
663
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ู„ูƒู† ู„ุง ุชุฏุน ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠูˆู‚ููƒ.
30:48
If you're an extrovert where you're trying to make friends,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ู…ู†ูุชุญู‹ุง ุญูŠุซ ุชุญุงูˆู„ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุŒ ูู…ุง ุนู„ูŠูƒ
30:51
just go ahead and start up conversations with people.
665
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ุณูˆู‰ ุงู„ู…ุถูŠ ู‚ุฏู…ู‹ุง ูˆุจุฏุก ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ู…ุน ุงู„ู†ุงุณ.
30:54
You can comment on anything,
666
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ุŒ
30:56
something that's happening around you, or,
667
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ุดูŠุก ูŠุญุฏุซ ู…ู† ุญูˆู„ูƒ ุŒ ุฃูˆ ุŒ
30:59
"Man, it's so hot today, isn't it?"
668
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"ูŠุง ุฑุฌู„ ุŒ ุงู„ุฌูˆ ุญุงุฑ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ"
31:01
Or something like that.
669
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31:01
Or you could say to someone, "Oh, I love your jacket."
670
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ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‚ุจูŠู„.
ุฃูˆ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„ ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุŒ "ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฃุญุจ ุณุชุฑุชูƒ."
31:05
Compliment them in some way,
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ุงู…ุฏุญู‡ู… ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ุง ุŒ
31:08
engage them in conversation.
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ูˆุงุดุฑูƒู‡ู… ููŠ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ.
31:11
Yeah and just, for me,
673
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ู†ุนู… ูˆูู‚ุท ุŒ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุŒ
31:14
that would really be pushing myself,
674
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ู‡ุฐุง ู…ู† ุดุฃู†ู‡ ุฃู† ูŠุฏูุน ู†ูุณูŠ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
31:16
but for some people, it's not.
675
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ู„ูƒู† ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ ู„ูŠุณ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ.
31:17
But okay, so we've talked about ways
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ู„ูƒู† ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ุชุญุฏุซู†ุง ุนู† ุทุฑู‚
31:20
where you can try to start friendships.
677
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ู‡ุง ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุจุฏุก ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช.
31:22
And we've established that we think Americans are
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ุฃุซุจุชู†ุง ุฃู†ู†ุง ู†ุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†
31:25
open to people striking up conversation with them.
679
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ู…ู†ูุชุญูˆู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุฌุฑูˆู† ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ู…ุนู‡ู….
31:29
- Yeah, for the most part.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู„ุฌุฒุก ุงู„ุฃูƒุจุฑ.
31:30
I mean I think also, for better or for worse,
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ู„ุฃูุถู„ ุฃูˆ ู„ู„ุฃุณูˆุฃ ุŒ
31:32
for people like yourself who are an introvert,
682
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ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู…ุซู„ูƒ ู…ู…ู† ู‡ู… ุงู†ุทูˆุงุฆูŠูˆู† ุŒ
31:35
it's also very appropriate in this country to,
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ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ู†ุงุณุจ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจู„ุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู†
31:38
the phrase is to blow people off,
684
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ุงู„ุนุจุงุฑุฉ ู‡ูŠ ุชูุฌูŠุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ
31:41
or to be just pretty disinterested
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ุฃูˆ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุบูŠุฑ ู…ู‡ุชู…
31:44
if someone tries to strike up a conversation with you.
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ุฅุฐุง ุญุงูˆู„ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุงู„ุฅุถุฑุงุจ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ู…ุนูƒ.
31:46
So you have to kind of know that half
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชุนุฑู ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ุฃู† ู†ุตู
31:50
or maybe even more than that,
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ุฃูˆ ุฑุจู…ุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
31:52
that the conversations that you try to strike up with people
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ุฃู† ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุญุงูˆู„ ูุชุญู‡ุง ู…ุน
31:54
people are gonna be kind of disinterested,
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ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุณุชูƒูˆู† ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ู† ุนุฏู… ุงู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ุŒ
31:56
maybe not make eye contact with you,
691
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ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ู„ุง ุชุฌุฑูŠ ุงุชุตุงู„ู‹ุง ุจุงู„ุนูŠู† ู…ุนูƒ ุŒ
31:59
and quickly wrap up the conversation.
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ูˆุชุฎุชุชู… ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุจุณุฑุนุฉ.
32:01
And that's totally appropriate socially as well.
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ู…ู†ุงุณุจ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠู‹ุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
32:04
That's called giving a subtle social cue that,
694
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ู‡ุฐุง ูŠุณู…ู‰ ุฅุนุทุงุก ุชู„ู…ูŠุญ ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠ ุฎููŠ ุŒ
32:08
"Actually, I don't really want to talk right now,
695
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"ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ู„ุง ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุงู„ุขู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
32:11
"thanks but no thanks on your offer of a conversation."
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" ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ูˆู„ูƒู† ู„ุง ุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุนุฑุถูƒ ู„ู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ. "
32:15
People aren't gonna come out and say,
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ู„ู† ูŠุฎุฑุฌ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูˆูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆู† ุŒ
32:16
"Please stop talking to me"--
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" ู…ู† ูุถู„ูƒ ุชูˆู‚ู ุนู† ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ "-
32:17
- Right, they'll just drop hints.
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุณูŠู‚ุฏู…ูˆู† ุงู„ุชู„ู…ูŠุญุงุช.
32:20
- Drop hints, yeah.
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- ุฃุณู‚ุท ุงู„ุชู„ู…ูŠุญุงุช ุŒ ู†ุนู….
32:21
- And don't let that discourage you,
701
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- ูˆู„ุง ุชุฏุน ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠุซุจุท ุนุฒูŠู…ุชูƒ ุŒ
32:23
that just means that person wasn't in the mood that day,
702
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ูู‡ุฐุง ูŠุนู†ูŠ ูู‚ุท ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู„ู… ูŠูƒู† ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ู…ุฒุงุฌูŠุฉ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุŒ
32:26
but you can definitely keep trying and you may find that
703
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุงู„ุงุญุชูุงุธ ุชุญุงูˆู„ ูˆู‚ุฏ ุชุฌุฏ ุฃู†ูƒ
32:30
you find someone who's also in the mood
704
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ุชุฌุฏ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ู…ุฒุงุฌูŠุฉ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง
32:32
to strike up a conversation or make a friend.
705
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ู„ุจุฏุก ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุฃูˆ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ. ูˆู‡ู†ุงูƒ
32:34
Another thing is where you're living,
706
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ุดูŠุก ุขุฎุฑ ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุนูŠุด ููŠู‡ ุŒ
32:37
try to explore the places around there.
707
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ูุญุงูˆู„ ุงุณุชูƒุดุงู ุงู„ุฃู…ุงูƒู† ุงู„ู…ุญูŠุทุฉ ุจู‡.
32:39
If you find a local restaurant or coffee shop or park,
708
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ุฅุฐุง ูˆุฌุฏุช ู…ุทุนู…ู‹ุง ู…ุญู„ูŠู‹ุง ุฃูˆ ู…ู‚ู‡ู‰ ุฃูˆ ุจุงุฑูƒ ุŒ
32:44
go there to try to strike up these conversations
709
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ุงุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู„ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุจุฏุก ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช
32:46
because then you're very likely gonna be talking to people
710
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุชู…ู„ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุฃู†ูƒ ุณุชุชุญุฏุซ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต
32:49
who live around you or have the same interests as you.
711
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุนูŠุดูˆู† ู…ู† ุญูˆู„ูƒ ุฃูˆ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ู†ูุณ ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู…ุงุชูƒ.
32:52
- that's happened to you and I
712
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- ุญุฏุซ ู‡ุฐุง ู„ูƒ ูˆุฃู†ุง
32:53
a couple times during the last year and a half,
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ู…ุฑุชูŠู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุงู„ุนุงู… ุงู„ู…ุงุถูŠ ูˆู†ุตู ุŒ
32:57
since stony's been born, going to the play space
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ู…ู†ุฐ ูˆู„ุงุฏุฉ ุณุชูˆู†ูŠ ุŒ ูˆุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุณุงุญุฉ ุงู„ู„ุนุจ
33:01
and other areas around our house.
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ูˆู…ู†ุงุทู‚ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุญูˆู„ ู…ู†ุฒู„ู†ุง.
33:03
When you see the same person three or four times in a row,
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุฑู‰ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุซู„ุงุซ ุฃูˆ ุฃุฑุจุน ู…ุฑุงุช ู…ุชุชุงู„ูŠุฉ ุŒ
33:06
even without having said anything,
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ุญุชู‰ ุจุฏูˆู† ู‚ูˆู„ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ุŒ
33:09
you then kind of have an idea that,
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ุนู†ุฏุฆุฐ ูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ููƒุฑุฉ ุŒ
33:11
"Oh, this person is gonna be here on a regular basis",
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"ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุฃุณุงุณ ู…ู†ุชุธู…" ุŒ
33:13
and it makes it easy then to go up and say hello
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ูŠุฌุนู„ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุณู‡ู„ุงู‹ ุซู… ุงู„ุตุนูˆุฏ ูˆู‚ูˆู„ ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง
33:16
'cause it gives you a way to say, "Hey, I noticed
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ู†ุญูƒ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ "ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ู„ุงุญุธุช
33:19
"you guys have been here a couple,
722
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" ุฃู†ุชู… ูƒู†ุชู… ู‡ู†ุง ุฒูˆุฌูŠู† ุŒ
33:21
"the same times I have", is sort of a bridge into
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"ููŠ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุฃูˆู‚ุงุช ู„ุฏูŠ" ุŒ ู‡ูˆ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฌุณุฑ
33:24
starting a conversation.
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ู„ุจุฏุก ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ.
33:26
- Now let's talk about going up and saying hello
725
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- ุงู„ุขู† ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุตุนูˆุฏ ูˆู‚ูˆู„ ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง
33:28
if English isn't your native language
726
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ุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ุชูƒู† ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ู‡ูŠ ู„ุบุชูƒ ุงู„ุฃู…
33:31
and you sometimes have a hard time understanding Americans.
727
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ูˆุชุฌุฏ ุฃุญูŠุงู†ู‹ุง ุตุนูˆุจุฉ ููŠ ูู‡ู… ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†.
33:36
That could really stop somebody from doing that,
728
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ู‡ุฐุง ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠู…ู†ุน ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ู…ุง ู…ู† ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
33:38
that could really be a mental block.
729
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุนู‚ุจุฉ ุนู‚ู„ูŠุฉ.
33:40
- Yeah, I think that that's right.
730
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญ.
33:41
- And I guess what I would say there is,
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- ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู…ุง ุณุฃู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ู…ูˆุฌูˆุฏ ุŒ
33:44
don't assume that the person isn't willing
732
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ู„ุง ุชูุชุฑุถ ุฃู† ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู„ูŠุณ ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ
33:47
to try to help you figure out conversation.
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ู„ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุชูƒ ููŠ ุงูƒุชุดุงู ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ.
33:49
Some people may not be interested in trying to
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ู‚ุฏ ู„ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู…ู‡ุชู…ูŠู† ุจู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุชูƒ ููŠ
33:54
help you understand them trying to say things
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ูู‡ู…ู‡ู… ูˆู‡ู… ูŠุญุงูˆู„ูˆู† ู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก
33:56
a couple different ways,
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ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุชูŠู† ู…ุฎุชู„ูุชูŠู† ุŒ
33:57
but other people may be very interested,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูˆู† ู…ู‡ุชู…ูŠู† ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุŒ "
33:59
"Oh, who is this person who's from somewhere else
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ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ู…ู† ู‡ูˆ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู…ู† ู…ูƒุงู† ุขุฎุฑ
34:02
"who's chosen to come here?"
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" ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุงุฎุชุงุฑู‡ ู„ู„ู…ุฌูŠุก ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงุŸ "
34:04
So yeah, just keep trying, and not every person you talk to
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ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุงุณุชู…ุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุŒ ูˆู„ู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ูƒู„ ุดุฎุต ุชุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุนู‡
34:09
is going to be open to who you are,
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ู…ู†ูุชุญู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ูˆูŠุชูƒ ุŒ
34:10
but you'll probably find somebody eventually who is.
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุชู…ู„ ุฃู† ุชุฌุฏ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ูƒุฐู„ูƒ.
34:14
- And I think another tip too is
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- ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู†ุตูŠุญุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ู‡ูŠ
34:16
when you initiate the conversation,
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุจุฏุฃ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุŒ
34:18
it gives you the opportunity to go first,
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ูุฅู†ู‡ุง ุชุนุทูŠ ู„ูƒ ุงู„ูุฑุตุฉ ู„ู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฃูˆู„ุงู‹ ุŒ
34:22
and what I mean by that is you can say
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ูˆู…ุง ุฃุนู†ูŠู‡ ุจุฐู„ูƒ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„
34:26
something along the lines of, "Hi, my name is David.
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ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุบุฑุงุฑ ุŒ "ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ุงุณู…ูŠ ุฏูŠููŠุฏ.
34:28
"I've noticed that you guys hang out here as well,
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"ู„ู‚ุฏ ู„ุงุญุธุช ุฃู†ูƒู… ุชุชุณูƒุนูˆู† ู‡ู†ุง ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุŒ
34:33
"and so I thought I would come over and introduce myself.
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" ูˆู„ุฐุง ุงุนุชู‚ุฏุช ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุณุฃุญุถุฑ ูˆุฃู‚ุฏู… ู†ูุณูŠ.
34:37
"I live in the neighborhood."
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"ุฃู†ุง ุฃุนูŠุด ููŠ ุงู„ุญูŠ".
34:39
In other words, you can be prepared to talk for 30 seconds
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ุจู…ุนู†ู‰ ุขุฎุฑ ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุณุชุนุฏู‹ุง ู„ู„ุชุญุฏุซ ู„ู…ุฏุฉ 30 ุซุงู†ูŠุฉ
34:43
or a minute about yourself in a way that
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ุฃูˆ ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ุนู† ู†ูุณูƒ ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ุชุชูŠุญ
34:45
you kind of have a chance to rehearse,
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ู„ูƒ ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ูุฑุตุฉ ุงู„ุชุฏุฑูŠุจ ุŒ
34:47
versus going up to someone and saying,
754
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ู…ู‚ุงุจู„ ุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ูˆุงู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุŒ
34:50
like as a native speaker,
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ู…ุซู„ ู…ุชุญุฏุซูŠ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฃู… ุŒ
34:51
I can go up to someone and just say, "Hi, I'm David.
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุงู„ุฐู‡ุงุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ูˆูŠู‚ูˆู„ ูู‚ุท ุŒ "ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฏูŠููŠุฏ.
34:53
"So, what are you guys up to today?"
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" ู„ุฐุง ุŒ ู…ุง ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุณุชูุนู„ู‡ ุงู„ุขู† ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚ุŸ "
34:57
Without worrying at all about
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ุฏูˆู† ุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฅุทู„ุงู‚ ุจุดุฃู†
34:59
comprehending the long answer that might come back.
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ูู‡ู… ุงู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุงู„ุทูˆูŠู„ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‚ุฏ ุชุนูˆุฏ.
35:03
But I think if you're a non-native speaker
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุบูŠุฑ ู…ูˆุงุทู† ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุซ ูˆุชุฑูŠุฏ
35:05
and you want to sort of avoid that,
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ุฃู† ุชุชุฌู†ุจ ุฐู„ูƒ ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ุŒ
35:07
you can kind of talk for a little bit,
762
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹ ุŒ
35:09
versus opening with a quick question.
763
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ู…ู‚ุงุจู„ ุงู„ุงูุชุชุงุญ ุจุณุคุงู„ ุณุฑูŠุน. -
35:11
- Yeah, you can sort of prepare
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ู†ุนู… ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ู† ุชุญุถูŠุฑ
35:13
your little introduction.
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ู…ู‚ุฏู…ุชูƒ ุงู„ุตุบูŠุฑุฉ.
35:15
So once you've started making,
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ู„ุฐุง ุจู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุฃู† ุชุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ
35:18
let's call them light friendships,
767
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ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุณู…ูŠู‡ู… ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฎููŠูุฉ ุŒ
35:21
people that you know, you're friendly with,
768
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ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุชุนุฑูู‡ู… ุŒ ุฃู†ุช ูˆุฏูˆุฏ ู…ุนู‡ู… ุŒ
35:23
you know their name, how do you build them
769
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ุชุนุฑู ุงุณู…ู‡ู… ุŒ ูƒูŠู ุชุจู†ูŠู‡ู…
35:25
into more supportive friendships?
770
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ููŠ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฏุนู…ู‹ุงุŸ -
35:28
- It's the big question, right?
771
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ุฅู†ู‡ ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ ุงู„ูƒุจูŠุฑ ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
35:33
- Actually, that brings me to
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- ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ูŠู‚ูˆุฏู†ูŠ ุฅู„ู‰
35:34
another question that came in but I'd love to read now
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ุณุคุงู„ ุขุฎุฑ ุฌุงุก ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฃุญุจ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ุฑุฃ ุงู„ุขู†
35:37
because I think that will become part of this conversation.
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ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุณูŠุตุจุญ ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ.
35:39
- Okay.
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง.
35:40
- So this is a question that came from
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- ุฅุฐู† ู‡ุฐุง ุณุคุงู„ ุฌุงุก ู…ู†
35:42
one of my students in Rachel's English Academy
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ุฅุญุฏู‰ ุทู„ุงุจูŠ ููŠ ุฃูƒุงุฏูŠู…ูŠุฉ ุฑุงุดูŠู„ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ
35:44
and she's from Germany and now she lives in the US,
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ูˆู‡ูŠ ู…ู† ุฃู„ู…ุงู†ูŠุง ูˆู‡ูŠ ุชุนูŠุด ุงู„ุขู† ููŠ ุงู„ูˆู„ุงูŠุงุช ุงู„ู…ุชุญุฏุฉ ุŒ
35:48
and she has said to me,
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงู„ุช ู„ูŠ ุŒ
35:50
"I find that Americans are really open to talking with me
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"ุฃุฌุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู† ู…ู†ูุชุญูˆู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู„ู„ุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุนูŠ
35:55
"if I'm in a really good mood, and all I'm just,
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" ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ู…ุฒุงุฌูŠุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ูˆูƒู„ ู…ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ูู‚ุท ุŒ "
35:58
"all I'm saying are positive things,
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ูƒู„ ู…ุง ุฃู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ู‡ูˆ ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุฅูŠุฌุงุจูŠุฉ ุŒ
36:00
"life is good, life is great, everything's good,
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" ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ู‡ูŠ ุฌูŠุฏ ุŒ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ุŒ ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู… ุŒ
36:03
"let's have fun and talk about funny things",
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"ู„ู†ุณุชู…ุชุน ูˆู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู…ุถุญูƒุฉ" ุŒ
36:06
then people are really willing to engage with her.
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ุนู†ุฏู‡ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู„ู„ุชุนุงู…ู„ ู…ุนู‡ุง.
36:09
But she said, "But if I bring up something
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ุง ู‚ุงู„ุช ุŒ "ู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ุทุฑุญุช ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง
36:12
"difficult in my life,
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" ุตุนุจู‹ุง ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ "ุŒ ุฃูˆ
36:13
"something that I'm having a problem with,
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ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ุฃูˆุงุฌู‡ ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ููŠู‡ ุŒ
36:15
"maybe financial difficulties or looking for a job,
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" ุฑุจู…ุง ุตุนูˆุจุงุช ู…ุงู„ูŠุฉ ุฃูˆ ุฃุจุญุซ ุนู† ูˆุธูŠูุฉ ุŒ ุฃูˆ
36:19
"having a hard time finding a job,
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"ุฃุฌุฏ ุตุนูˆุจุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุนุซูˆุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ูˆุธูŠูุฉ
36:21
"or just a struggle in general, when I bring that up",
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" ุŒ ุฃูˆ ุตุฑุงุน ุจุดูƒู„ ุนุงู… ุŒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุฐู„ูƒ "ุŒ
36:25
she says she finds that people don't really seem
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ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุชุฌุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู„ุง ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ู…
36:27
to want to talk about it.
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ูŠุฑูŠุฏูˆู† ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู†ู‡ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง.
36:29
She said of course there are a few times
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ูˆู‚ุงู„ุช ุจุงู„ุทุจุน ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุนุฏุฉ ู…ุฑุงุช
36:31
where she's found people who are willing to
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ูˆุฌุฏุช ููŠู‡ุง ุฃุดุฎุงุตู‹ุง ูŠุฑุบุจูˆู† ููŠ
36:33
discuss this with her, but in general,
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ู…ู†ุงู‚ุดุฉ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ุน ู‡ูŠ ุŒ ูˆู„ูƒู† ุจุดูƒู„ ุนุงู… ุŒ
36:35
people seem to kind of turn away
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ูŠุจุฏูˆ ุฃู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุจุชุนุฏูˆู† ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง
36:37
from that kind of conversation
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ุนู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช
36:39
about the harder things in life,
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ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุฃุตุนุจ ููŠ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุŒ
36:41
but the things that are present for everybody.
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ู…ูˆุฌูˆุฏุฉ ู„ู„ุฌู…ูŠุน.
36:44
Were you gonna say something?
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ู‡ู„ ุณุชู‚ูˆู„ ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุงุŸ
36:47
- Right, I think that when we take a risk
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ุฃุฎุฐ ู…ุฎุงุทุฑุฉ
36:52
or when we're vulnerable and share a little bit of something
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ุฃูˆ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ูƒูˆู† ุถุนูุงุก ูˆู†ุดุงุฑูƒ ุงู„ู‚ู„ูŠู„ ู…ู† ุดูŠุก
36:55
that's real or something that's deep,
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ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ุนู…ูŠู‚ ุŒ
36:58
she gives great examples there about things that are hard,
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ูุฅู†ู‡ุง ุชู‚ุฏู… ุฃู…ุซู„ุฉ ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุตุนุจุฉ ุŒ
37:01
when we are with someone who has been a casual friend
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ูƒูˆู† ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ูƒุงู† ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ุนุงุฏูŠู‹ุง
37:04
and we take a risk and share something that is
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ูˆู†ุฎุงุทุฑ ูˆู†ุดุงุฑูƒ ุดูŠุก
37:08
really deep for us that's a real struggle,
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ุนู…ูŠู‚ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู†ุง ูˆู‡ูˆ ุตุฑุงุน ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠ ุŒ
37:12
I think that's sort of how you figure out
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงูƒุชุดุงู
37:15
which of your casual friends
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ุฃูŠ ู…ู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูƒ ุบูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฑุณู…ูŠูŠู†
37:17
are the relationships to really invest in
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ู‡ู… ุงู„ุนู„ุงู‚ุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุณุชุซู…ุฑ ููŠู‡ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง
37:20
and go for more depth with.
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ูˆุชุฐู‡ุจ ู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุนู…ู‚.
37:22
I mean, just to put some numbers on it,
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ูู‚ุท ู„ูˆุถุน ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุฑู‚ุงู… ุนู„ูŠู‡ุง ุŒ
37:24
I think if you have 10 casual friends
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ 10 ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุนุงุฏูŠูŠู†
37:26
and with each of those 10 people, at some point,
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ูˆู…ุน ูƒู„ ู…ู† ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุนุดุฑุฉ ุŒ ููŠ ู…ุฑุญู„ุฉ ู…ุง ุŒ
37:29
you take a risk and really share something about yourself,
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ูุฅู†ูƒ ุชุฎุงุทุฑ ูˆุชุดุงุฑูƒ ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุง ุนู† ู†ูุณูƒ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
37:32
I would expect that probably two
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ุฃุชูˆู‚ุน ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงุซู†ุงู†
37:34
out of those 10 conversations
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ู…ู† ุจูŠู† ุณุชุฏุฎู„ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ุงู„ุนุดุฑ
37:35
would then go into a deeper, fuller conversation.
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ุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุฃุนู…ู‚ ูˆุฃูƒู…ู„. ูŠุดุจู‡ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ
37:41
It's sort of like with the initial conversation
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ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ู…ุน ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ูŠุฉ
37:46
with someone in line at the grocery store,
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ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุตู ููŠ ู…ุชุฌุฑ ุงู„ุจู‚ุงู„ุฉ ุŒ
37:48
you strike up 10 of those conversations,
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฅุฌุฑุงุก 10 ู…ู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ุŒ
37:49
probably only two of those conversations
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ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุญุงุฏุซุชุงู† ูู‚ุท ู…ู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช
37:51
are gonna be more than just a quick casual,
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ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ู…ุฌุฑุฏ ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุนุงุฑุถุฉ ุณุฑูŠุนุฉ ุŒ
37:55
"Hey, how's it going?"
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ูƒูŠู ุชุณูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑุŸ"
37:57
So I think it's difficult because
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุตุนุจ ู„ุฃู†ู‡
37:59
when we're being vulnerable and sharing things
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู†ูƒูˆู† ุนุฑุถุฉ ู„ู„ุฎุทุฑ ูˆู†ุชุดุงุฑูƒ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก
38:03
that are difficult, we really,
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ุงู„ุตุนุจุฉ ุŒ ูุฅู†ู†ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ
38:05
we're putting ourself out there,
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ู†ุถุน ุฃู†ูุณู†ุง ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุŒ
38:07
so it's hard to be rejected,
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠุตุนุจ ุฑูุถู†ุง ุŒ
38:09
or maybe that's too strong of a word, but maybe not.
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ุฃูˆ ุฑุจู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ูƒู„ู…ุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ู‚ูˆูŠุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุŒ ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ุง.
38:13
It's a feeling of rejection that comes up
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ุฅู†ู‡ ุดุนูˆุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑูุถ ูŠุธู‡ุฑ
38:14
when the other person doesn't want to engage.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ู„ุง ูŠุฑุบุจ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุงู†ุฎุฑุงุท.
38:17
Let's talk eight out of 10 times,
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ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ุชุญุฏุซ ุซู…ุงู†ูŠ ู…ุฑุงุช ู…ู† ุฃุตู„ 10 ุŒ
38:19
people aren't really interested in the fact
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ู„ุง ูŠู‡ุชู… ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุจุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ
38:21
that you just shared something
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ุฃู†ูƒ ุดุงุฑูƒุช ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง
38:22
that you're really struggling with.
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ู…ุง ูƒู†ุช ุชูƒุงูุญ ู…ุนู‡ ุญู‚ู‹ุง.
38:23
The other side is if you can think about it as
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ุงู„ุฌุงู†ุจ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู†ูƒ ุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ุฃู†ู‡
38:26
from the positive side, you've found two people
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ู…ู† ุงู„ุฌุงู†ุจ ุงู„ุฅูŠุฌุงุจูŠ ุŒ ูู‚ุฏ ูˆุฌุฏุช ุดุฎุตูŠู†
38:30
with whom you can now really invest deeply with,
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ุขู† ุงู„ุงุณุชุซู…ุงุฑ ู…ุนู‡ู… ุจุนู…ู‚ ุŒ
38:34
I think that's a pretty compelling reason to say that
841
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุณุจุจ ู…ู‚ู†ุน ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู„ู„ู‚ูˆู„ ุฅู†
38:37
the eight shutdowns, shoot, what's it called?
842
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ุนู…ู„ูŠุงุช ุงู„ุฅุบู„ุงู‚ ุงู„ุซู…ุงู†ูŠุฉ ุŒ ุฅุทู„ุงู‚ ุงู„ู†ุงุฑ ุŒ ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ูุณูŽู…ู‘ู‹ู‰ุŸ
38:40
Being shot down are worth it.
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ุฃู† ูŠุชู… ุฅุณู‚ุงุทู‡ ูŠุณุชุญู‚ ูƒู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุนู†ุงุก.
38:42
- Yeah, so okay, a couple things here.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู‡ู†ุง.
38:45
One thing is how to build more supportive,
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ุดูŠุก ูˆุงุญุฏ ู‡ูˆ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุจู†ุงุก
38:48
deeper friendships.
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ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุนู…ู‚ุง ูˆุฏุงุนู…ุฉ.
38:49
One way is to simply open up more and tell more
847
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ุฅุญุฏู‰ ุงู„ุทุฑู‚ ู‡ูŠ ุจุจุณุงุทุฉ ุงู„ุงู†ูุชุงุญ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ูˆุฅุฎุจุงุฑ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู†
38:52
things about yourself, including things that are hard,
848
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ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุนู† ู†ูุณูƒ ุŒ ุจู…ุง ููŠ ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุตุนุจุฉ ุŒ ูˆุฃู†
38:55
being more real, more vulnerable.
849
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ุชูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุซุฑ ูˆุงู‚ุนูŠุฉ ุŒ ูˆุฃูƒุซุฑ ุนุฑุถุฉ ู„ู„ุฎุทุฑ.
38:59
And then David's talking about when you
850
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ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ูŠุชุญุฏุซ ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุนู† ุนู†ุฏู…ุง
39:01
try to deepen a friendship by doing that,
851
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ุชุญุงูˆู„ ุชุนู…ูŠู‚ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
39:04
there's maybe a very good chance that that person
852
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ุฑุจู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ูุฑุตุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุฃู„ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต
39:08
is not ready to have that kind of a friendship with you
853
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ู…ุณุชุนุฏู‹ุง ู„ุฅู‚ุงู…ุฉ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ู…ุนูƒ
39:11
and is just gonna kind of find a way to change the subject
854
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ูˆุณูŠุฌุฏ ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู„ุชุบูŠูŠุฑ ุงู„ู…ูˆุถูˆุน
39:14
of the conversation, but a couple will likely be willing to
855
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ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุŒ ูˆู„ูƒู† ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุฌุญ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฒูˆุฌุงู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ ู„ุฃู†
39:19
be more receptive to that.
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ูŠูƒูˆู†ุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุชู‚ุจู„ุงู‹ ู„ุฐู„ูƒ.
39:22
So maybe what this woman who submitted this comment,
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ู„ุฐุง ุฑุจู…ุง ู…ุง ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฑุฃุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‚ุฏู…ุช ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ ุŒ
39:27
maybe the culture where she is in,
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ุฑุจู…ุง ุงู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุนูŠุด ููŠู‡ุง ุŒ ู…ู†
39:30
it's more normal to talk about struggles
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ุงู„ุทุจูŠุนูŠ ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุตุฑุงุนุงุช
39:33
with friendships that are a little bit less deep.
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ู…ุน ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุงู„ุฃู‚ู„ ุนู…ู‚ู‹ุง ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุงู‹.
39:36
I mean for me, if I have a casual acquaintance with someone
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠู‘ ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ุนุฑุถูŠุฉ ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
39:42
and they start talking about something
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ูˆุจุฏุฃูˆุง ููŠ ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุดูŠุก
39:45
that they're struggling with, this is awful,
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ู…ุง ูŠุนุงู†ูˆู† ู…ู†ู‡ ุŒ ูู‡ุฐุง ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ุฑูˆุน ุŒ
39:49
but part of me starts to wonder,
864
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ู„ูƒู† ุฌุฒุกู‹ุง ู…ู†ูŠ ูŠุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุงู„ุชุณุงุคู„ ุŒ "
39:50
"What do they, what are they trying to get out of me?
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ู…ุงุฐุง ูŠูุนู„ูˆู† ุŒ ูˆู…ุง ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุญุงูˆู„ูˆู† ุงู„ุฎุฑูˆุฌ ู…ู†ู‡ ุนู†ูŠุŸ
39:52
"What do they want me to do for them?"
866
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"ู…ุงุฐุง ูŠุฑูŠุฏูˆู† ู…ู†ูŠ ุฃู† ุฃูุนู„ ู„ู‡ู…ุŸ"
39:54
Isn't that horrible?
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ุฃู„ูŠุณ ู‡ุฐุง ูุธูŠุนู‹ุงุŸ
39:55
Whereas if it's a good friend, then I'm all ears,
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ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ุฌูŠุฏู‹ุง ุŒ ูุฃู†ุง ุขุฐุงู† ุตุงุบูŠุฉ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง ุŒ
39:58
I'm listening, I'm engaged, I want to help that person,
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ูุฃู†ุง ุฃุณุชู…ุน ุŒ ูˆุฃู†ุง ู…ุฎุทูˆุจ ุŒ ูˆุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ุŒ
40:02
I want to be there for that person,
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ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุŒ
40:03
I want to help him or her fix whatever is wrong,
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ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุชู‡ ุฃูˆ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุชู‡ุง ููŠ ุฅุตู„ุงุญ ูƒู„ ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุฎุทุฃ ุŒ
40:07
but if it's someone I don't really know
872
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ู„ุง ุฃุนุฑูู‡ ุญู‚ู‹ุง
40:08
and they start talking about what's difficult in their life,
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ูˆุจุฏุฃูˆุง ููŠ ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ุตุนุจ ููŠ ุญูŠุงุชู‡ู… ุŒ
40:11
I find that I don't really know what to do with that
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ุฃุฌุฏ ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ. ู„ุง ุฃุนุฑู ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู…ุงุฐุง ุฃูุนู„ ุจู‡ุฐุง
40:14
and I start to think, "Why are they telling me this?"
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ูˆุจุฏุฃุช ุฃููƒุฑ ุŒ "ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ูŠุฎุจุฑูˆู†ู†ูŠ ุจู‡ุฐุงุŸ" ู‡ู„
40:17
Do you ever feel that?
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ุดุนุฑุช ุจุฐู„ูƒ ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ุŸ
40:18
I mean how do you, I guess it depends on
877
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ูŠุนุชู…ุฏ ุนู„ู‰
40:21
how you're defining an acquaintance,
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ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุชุนุฑูŠููƒ ู„ุฃุญุฏ ู…ุนุงุฑููƒ ุŒ
40:22
but David's looking at me like he maybe doesn't agree.
879
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ู„ูƒู† ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ูŠู†ุธุฑ ุฅู„ูŠ ูˆูƒุฃู†ู‡ ุฑุจู…ุง ู„ุง ูŠูˆุงูู‚.
40:25
- I think, no, not that I don't agree,
880
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- ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุŒ ู„ุง ุŒ ู„ูŠุณ ู„ุฃู†ู†ูŠ ู„ุง ุฃูˆุงูู‚ ุŒ
40:28
I think that what's coming up for you in those moments
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู…ุง ุณูŠุญุฏุซ ู„ูƒ ููŠ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู„ุญุธุงุช
40:31
is your discomfort and you're not,
882
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ู‡ูˆ ุนุฏู… ุงุฑุชูŠุงุญูƒ ูˆุฃู†ุช ู„ุณุช ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ุนุฏู…
40:33
your disinterest in taking that relationship
883
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ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู…ูƒ ุจุฃุฎุฐ ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ
40:37
to a deeper place.
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ุจู…ูƒุงู† ุฃุนู…ู‚.
40:38
I mean again, I would focus on the two out of 10 times
885
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุŒ ุณุฃุฑูƒุฒ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุฑุชูŠู† ู…ู† ุฃุตู„ 10 ู…ุฑุงุช
40:40
when it does feel right.
886
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู….
40:42
I don't think we can spend a ton of time
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ู„ุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ู‚ุถุงุก ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ููŠ
40:46
examining the eight out of 10,
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ูุญุต ุงู„ุซู…ุงู†ูŠุฉ ู…ู† ุฃุตู„ 10 ุŒ
40:47
but I think your energy is much better spent on
889
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุทุงู‚ุชูƒ ุชู†ูู‚ ุจุดูƒู„ ุฃูุถู„ ุนู„ู‰
40:51
those two out of 10 times when somebody that is
890
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ู‡ุงุชูŠู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุงุช ู…ู† ุฃุตู„ 10 ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠูุชุญ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
40:53
a casual friend to you opens up and starts sharing with you
891
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ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ู„ูƒ ูˆูŠุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุดุงุฑูƒุฉ ู…ุนู‡ ุฃู†ุช ูˆุฃู†ุช
40:58
and you're kind of like, "Oh, wow, we're going there.
892
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ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ู…ุซู„ ุŒ "ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ูˆุงูˆ ุŒ ู†ุญู† ุฐุงู‡ุจูˆู† ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ.
41:01
"Okay, that's kind of, I wasn't expecting this,
893
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" ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุŒ ู„ู… ุฃูƒู† ุฃุชูˆู‚ุน ู‡ุฐุง ุŒ
41:04
"but all right, okay, I'm listening."
894
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"ู„ูƒู† ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฃุณุชู…ุน."
41:08
- So one of the things that she had said was
895
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- ุฅุฐู† ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‚ุงู„ุชู‡ุง ุฃู†ู‡ุง
41:10
she feels like Americans
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ุชุดุนุฑ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูŠู†
41:11
only want to talk about positive things,
897
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ูŠุฑูŠุฏูˆู† ูู‚ุท ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุฅูŠุฌุงุจูŠุฉ ุŒ
41:13
and I guess what we are saying here is that
898
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู…ุง ู†ู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ู‡ู†ุง ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†
41:16
that is probably true of acquaintances
899
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ู‡ุฐุง ุฑุจู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ุตุญูŠุญู‹ุง ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู„ู…ุนุงุฑู
41:19
and people of a certain level of friendship,
900
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ูˆุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุณุชูˆู‰ ู…ุนูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุŒ
41:21
but once you are spending more time with somebody
901
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ู…ุฑุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ุฃู†ุช ุชู‚ุถูŠ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
41:25
and sharing more personal things with somebody
902
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ูˆุชุดุงุฑูƒู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
41:28
and it's reciprocated, then that person will, I think,
903
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ูˆูŠุชู… ุงู„ุฑุฏ ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„ ุŒ ุซู… ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุณูŠูƒูˆู†
41:32
definitely be willing to talk about your struggles.
904
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ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ ู„ู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ู…ุนุงู†ุงุชูƒ.
41:35
I mean, Americans don't shy away from that,
905
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠูˆู† ู„ุง ูŠุฎุฌู„ูˆู† ู…ู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
41:37
they just I think save that kind of conversation
906
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ูู‚ุท ุฃู†ู‡ู… ูŠุญุชูุธูˆู† ุจู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ
41:41
for someone that they have a very particular
907
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ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ู†ูˆุน ุฎุงุต ุฌุฏู‹ุง
41:43
kind of relationship with.
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ู…ู† ุงู„ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ู…ุนู‡.
41:45
And so that conversation happening outside of a friendship
909
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ูˆุจุงู„ุชุงู„ูŠ ูุฅู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุญุฏุซ ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ
41:49
that they feel is very deep probably feels awkward,
910
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุดุนุฑูˆู† ุจุฃู†ู‡ุง ุนู…ูŠู‚ุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ุฑุจู…ุง ุชุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุญุฑุฌ ุŒ
41:51
and that I think might be
911
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู†
41:54
where this person is feeling shut down.
912
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ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุดุนุฑ ููŠู‡ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุจุงู„ุฅุบู„ุงู‚.
41:55
- Yeah, and I think that you're right that that is,
913
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ูƒ ู…ุญู‚ ููŠ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
41:57
I'm sure it's lodged in cultural norms and is different
914
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ูุฃู†ุง ู…ุชุฃูƒุฏ ู…ู† ุฃู†ู‡ุง ู…ุชุฃุตู„ุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุนุฑุงู ุงู„ุซู‚ุงููŠุฉ ูˆุชุฎุชู„ู
42:00
from place to place, from culture to culture.
915
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ู…ู† ู…ูƒุงู† ุฅู„ู‰ ุขุฎุฑ ุŒ ูˆู…ู† ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃุฎุฑู‰.
42:03
But yeah I think that that's exactly right.
916
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ู„ูƒู† ู†ุนู… ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง.
42:06
And part of what's hard is that there's no way to know
917
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ูˆุฌุฒุก ู…ู† ุงู„ุตุนูˆุจุฉ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ุง ุชูˆุฌุฏ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู„ู…ุนุฑูุฉ
42:08
where you are sort of with another person
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ู…ูƒุงู†ูƒ ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ุขุฎุฑ
42:12
without testing it out.
919
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ุฏูˆู† ุงุฎุชุจุงุฑู‡.
42:13
- Right, and then you either get shut down
920
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- ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุฅู…ุง ุชุบู„ู‚
42:15
or the person's interested.
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ุฃูˆ ูŠู‡ุชู… ุงู„ุดุฎุต.
42:16
- Yeah, you can try to assess and assess and assess
922
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠูŠู… ูˆุงู„ุชู‚ูŠูŠู…
42:20
in your mind like, "Well, they said this last time,
923
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ููŠ ุนู‚ู„ูƒ ู…ุซู„ ุŒ "ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ุงู„ูˆุง ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฑุฉ ุงู„ุฃุฎูŠุฑุฉ
42:23
"and I almost said something, but then I didn't,
924
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" ูˆูƒุฏุช ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุง ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ู„ู… ุฃูุนู„ ุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
42:25
"and I wonder if",
925
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"ูˆุฃุชุณุงุกู„ ุนู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†" ุŒ
42:26
then you can go around and around in circles
926
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ุซู… ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุชุฌูˆู„ ููŠ ุฏูˆุงุฆุฑ
42:28
for hours and hours about whether or not
927
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ู„ุณุงุนุงุช ูˆุณุงุนุงุช ุญูˆู„ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†
42:31
this person is someone who you should take a risk with,
928
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ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู‡ูˆ ุดุฎุต ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุชุฎุงุทุฑ ุจู‡ ุฃู… ู„ุง ุŒ
42:34
or you can just go for it, and sort of,
929
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ุฃูˆ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูู‚ุท ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
42:37
that takes major courage,
930
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ูŠุชุทู„ุจ ุดุฌุงุนุฉ ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ ุŒ
42:39
but if you can get yourself to know that,
931
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ุชู…ูƒู†ุช ู…ู† ุงู„ุญุตูˆู„ ุนู„ู‰ ู†ูุณูƒ ุชุนุฑู ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
42:41
"Hey, you know what?
932
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42:41
"Eight out of 10 times it may not go well,
933
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"ู…ุฑุญุจู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ุชุนุฑู ู…ุงุฐุงุŸ
" ุซู…ุงู†ูŠุฉ ู…ู† ุฃุตู„ 10 ู…ุฑุงุช ู‚ุฏ ู„ุง ุชุณูŠุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู… ุŒ
42:44
"but it's worth it because those two out of 10 times
934
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"ูˆู„ูƒู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ูŠุณุชุญู‚ ุฐู„ูƒ ู„ุฃู† ู‡ุงุชูŠู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุงุช ู…ู† ุฃุตู„ 10
42:46
"where it does go well are really, really worth it to me,
935
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" ุญูŠุซ ุชุณูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู… ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ูŠุณุชุญู‚ ูƒู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุนู†ุงุก ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ ุŒ
42:50
"so I'm gonna go for it."
936
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" ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุณุฃุฐู‡ุจ ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ".
42:51
- Yeah, that's where you start building
937
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุจุฏุฃ ููŠู‡ ุจู†ุงุก
42:53
the real friendships.
938
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ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุญู‚ูŠู‚ูŠุฉ.
42:54
And actually I think one way that you can test the waters,
939
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ูˆููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฅุญุฏู‰ ุงู„ุทุฑู‚ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ู‡ุง ุงุฎุชุจุงุฑ ุงู„ูˆุถุน ุŒ
42:57
that is try something out with somebody,
940
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ู‡ูŠ ุชุฌุฑุจุฉ ุดูŠุก ู…ุง ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุŒ
43:01
let's say you've met them a couple times,
941
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ุฏุนู†ุง ู†ู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู†ูƒ ู‚ุงุจู„ุชู‡ู… ุนุฏุฉ ู…ุฑุงุช ุŒ
43:02
they're an acquaintance, you maybe consider them a friend.
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ุฅู†ู‡ู… ู…ุนุงุฑู ุŒ ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ุชุนุชุจุฑู‡ู… ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง.
43:05
Rather than opening up about yourself
943
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ุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† ุงู„ุงู†ูุชุงุญ ุนู„ู‰ ู†ูุณูƒ
43:07
and saying something that you're struggling with
944
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ูˆู‚ูˆู„ ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุง ุชูƒุงูุญ ู…ุนู‡
43:09
or something that's hard for you to deal with,
945
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ุฃูˆ ุดูŠุก ูŠุตุนุจ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุงู„ุชุนุงู…ู„ ู…ุนู‡ ุŒ
43:12
you can ask that person a question,
946
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชุณุฃู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุณุคุงู„ุงู‹ ุŒ
43:14
and then see how they respond.
947
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ุซู… ุชุฑู‰ ูƒูŠู ูŠุณุชุฌูŠุจ.
43:16
Do they go deep with their answer?
948
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ู‡ู„ ูŠุชุนู…ู‚ูˆู† ููŠ ุฅุฌุงุจุชู‡ู…ุŸ
43:18
Or do they just sort of give a light surface answer?
949
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ุฃู… ุฃู†ู‡ุง ุชุนุทูŠ ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุฎููŠูุฉ ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุงุŸ
43:21
And that's a clue, "Okay, this person isn't ready
950
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ุฏู„ูŠู„ ุŒ "ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ู„ูŠุณ ู…ุณุชุนุฏู‹ุง
43:24
"to talk about these more important things with me,
951
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" ู„ู„ุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุนูŠ ุนู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฃู‡ู…ูŠุฉ ุŒ
43:27
"or this person is ready."
952
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"ุฃูˆ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุฌุงู‡ุฒ."
43:29
- It's a really good point,
953
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- ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ
43:30
that thought had crossed my mind earlier,
954
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ุฎุทุฑุช ู„ูŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ููƒุฑุฉ ููŠ ูˆู‚ุช ุณุงุจู‚ ุŒ
43:32
and I'm glad you brought it up, yeah, absolutely.
955
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ูˆุฃู†ุง ุณุนูŠุฏ ู„ุฃู†ูƒ ุทุฑุญุชู‡ุง ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ.
43:33
So what would be an example of a kind of question
956
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ุฅุฐู† ุŒ ู…ุง ู‡ูˆ ู…ุซุงู„ ุนู„ู‰ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุณุฆู„ุฉ
43:36
that someone could ask an acquaintance/light new friend
957
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุฃู† ูŠุณุฃู„ู‡ ุฃุญุฏ ู…ุนุงุฑูู‡ / ุฃูˆ ูŠู„ู‚ูŠ ุงู„ุถูˆุก ุนู„ู‰ ุตุฏูŠู‚ ุฌุฏูŠุฏ
43:42
in order to see,
958
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ู„ูŠุฑู‰ ุŒ
43:43
"Oh, how can I try to take this friendship deeper?"
959
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"ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ ุชุนู…ูŠู‚ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉุŸ"
43:47
-Yeah, I think a couple things,
960
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุดูŠุฆูŠู† ุŒ
43:48
I mean, one of the things is to say
961
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ุฃุนู†ูŠ ุŒ ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ุชู‚ูˆู„
43:50
something that you noticed and ask about it,
962
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ุดูŠุฆู‹ุง ู…ุง ู„ุงุญุธุชู‡ ูˆุชุณุฃู„ ุนู†ู‡ ุŒ
43:55
"I noticed last time we were hanging out
963
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"ู„ู‚ุฏ ู„ุงุญุธุช ุขุฎุฑ ู…ุฑุฉ ูƒู†ุง ู†ุชุณูƒุน ููŠู‡ุง
43:57
"that you didn't mention how your husband's doing.
964
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" ุฃู†ูƒ ู„ู… ุชุฐูƒุฑ ูƒูŠู ูŠูุนู„ ุฒูˆุฌูƒ.
44:00
"Is everything going okay with you guys?"
965
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"ู‡ู„ ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ุนู„ู‰ ู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู… ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚ุŸ"
44:05
- Or even just, "How is blank going?"
966
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- ุฃูˆ ุญุชู‰ ูู‚ุท ุŒ "ูƒูŠู ุชุณูŠุฑ ุงู„ูุฑุงุบุงุชุŸ"
44:08
Even if you have no idea if it's gonna involve a good answer
967
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ุญุชู‰ ู„ูˆ ู„ู… ุชูƒู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ููƒุฑุฉ ุนู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ุช ุณุชุชุถู…ู† ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ
44:12
or a bad answer, just asking,
968
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ุฃูˆ ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุณูŠุฆุฉ ุŒ ูู‚ุท ุงุณุฃู„ ุŒ
44:14
"Oh, how are things going with the kids?
969
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"ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ูƒูŠู ุชุณูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃุทูุงู„ุŸ"
44:15
"Or how are things going at work?"
970
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ุฃูˆ ูƒูŠู ุชุณูŠุฑ ุงู„ุฃู…ูˆุฑ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ุŸ "
44:17
- Yeah, anything that anybody says,
971
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฃูŠ ุดูŠุก ูŠู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ุฃูŠ ุดุฎุต ุŒ
44:20
you can follow up with, "And how is that for you?
972
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุชุงุจุนุฉ ุจู€ "ูˆูƒูŠู ูŠุชู… ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูƒุŸ
44:23
"How's that going for you?"
973
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"ูƒูŠู ุงู„ุญุงู„ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูƒุŸ"
44:25
- And then from there depending on their answer,
974
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- ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุจู†ุงุกู‹ ุนู„ู‰ ุฅุฌุงุจุชู‡ู… ุŒ
44:27
you might be able to draw them out more,
975
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ู‚ุฏ ุชูƒูˆู† ู‚ุงุฏุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุฎู„ุงุตู‡ู… ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุŒ
44:30
see if they're interested in being drawn out more
976
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ูˆู…ุนุฑูุฉ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ู…ู‡ุชู…ูŠู† ุจุงู„ุชูˆุณุน ุฃูƒุซุฑ
44:32
and if they are, then that conversation will grow,
977
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ุŒ ูˆุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ู…ู‡ุชู…ูŠู† ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ูุฅู† ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุณุชู†ู…ูˆ ุŒ
44:34
and probably that friendship will grow.
978
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ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ุชู†ู…ูˆ ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ.
44:37
I read an article several months ago now
979
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ู„ู‚ุฏ ู‚ุฑุฃุช ู…ู‚ุงู„ู‹ุง ู…ู†ุฐ ุนุฏุฉ ุฃุดู‡ุฑ ุงู„ุขู†
44:41
about a bunch of high schools
980
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2890
ุญูˆู„ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุฏุงุฑุณ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูˆูŠุฉ
44:44
that were accepting one year,
981
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2500
ุงู„ุชูŠ ูƒุงู†ุช ุชู‚ุจู„ ุนุงู…ู‹ุง ูˆุงุญุฏู‹ุง ุŒ
44:46
or one to two year international students from China,
982
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3420
ุฃูˆ ุนุงู… ุฃูˆ ุนุงู…ูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุทู„ุงุจ ุงู„ุฏูˆู„ูŠูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุตูŠู† ุŒ
44:49
the article was focusing on Chinese students
983
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2020
ูƒุงู† ุงู„ู…ู‚ุงู„ ูŠุฑูƒุฒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุทู„ุงุจ ุงู„ุตูŠู†ูŠูŠู† ุงู„ุฐูŠู†
44:51
studying in American high schools.
984
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ูŠุฏุฑุณูˆู† ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุงุฑุณ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูˆูŠุฉ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒูŠุฉ.
44:53
And the article was talking about how hard it is
985
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ูˆูƒุงู† ุงู„ู…ู‚ุงู„ ูŠุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ู…ุฏู‰ ุตุนูˆุจุฉ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุจูŠู†
44:56
for these Chinese students to make friends in America
986
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ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุทู„ุงุจ ุงู„ุตูŠู†ูŠูŠู† ููŠ ุฃู…ุฑูŠูƒุง
44:59
and I was like, "Gosh, of course."
987
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ูˆูƒู†ุช ู…ุซู„ ุŒ "ูŠุง ุฅู„ู‡ูŠ ุจุงู„ุทุจุน."
45:00
And part of it is in a high school situation,
988
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ูˆุฌุฒุก ู…ู†ู‡ุง ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูˆูŠุฉ ุŒ
45:04
kids are using so much slang that these students are coming
989
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3850
ุงู„ุฃุทูุงู„ ูŠุณุชุฎุฏู…ูˆู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุนุงู…ูŠุฉ ู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุฃู† ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุทู„ุงุจ ูŠุฃุชูˆู†
45:08
who studied English formally,
990
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุฏุฑุณูˆุง ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุจุดูƒู„ ุฑุณู…ูŠ ุŒ
45:10
and they don't understand the general idea of conversation,
991
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ูˆู„ุง ูŠูู‡ู…ูˆู† ุงู„ููƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ุนุงู…ุฉ ู„ู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ ุŒ
45:16
like they just can't keep up.
992
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1480
ูƒู…ุง ู„ูˆ ุฃู†ู‡ู… ู„ุง ูŠุณุชุทูŠุนูˆู† ู…ูˆุงูƒุจุฉ ุฐู„ูƒ.
45:17
And I think that would be incredibly hard.
993
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ุตุนุจู‹ุง ู„ู„ุบุงูŠุฉ.
45:20
And I think if you're in that situation,
994
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ู ุŒ ูุฅู†
45:22
your only hope is to ask what people mean,
995
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3516
ุฃู…ู„ูƒ ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏ ู‡ูˆ ุฃู† ุชุณุฃู„ ุนู…ุง ูŠุนู†ูŠู‡ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ
45:26
and probably be doing that a lot.
996
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2340
ูˆุฑุจู…ุง ุชูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ูƒุซูŠุฑู‹ุง.
45:28
And for a lot of people, that might be annoying,
997
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3170
ูˆุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุŒ ู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุฒุนุฌู‹ุง ุŒ ูˆู‚ุฏ ูŠุคุฏูŠ ุฐู„ูƒ ุฅู„ู‰
45:31
and that might turn them off, but for a few people,
998
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2900
ุฅูŠู‚ุงูู‡ู… ุŒ ูˆู„ูƒู† ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ุนุฏุฏ ู‚ู„ูŠู„ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุŒ
45:34
they'll be willing to answer you,
999
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ุณูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆู† ุนู„ู‰ ุงุณุชุนุฏุงุฏ ู„ู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุŒ
45:36
and then those are people with whom I think
1000
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2410
ูˆู…ู† ุซู… ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ูƒ
45:38
you're gonna start to develop a more real friendship.
1001
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ุณุชุจุฏุฃ ููŠ ุชุทูˆูŠุฑู‡ู… ู…ุนู‡ู… ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ูˆุงู‚ุนูŠุฉ.
45:41
What do you think, David? - Right, exactly.
1002
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2110
ู…ุง ุฑุฃูŠูƒ ูŠุง ุฏูŠููŠุฏุŸ - ุตุญูŠุญ ุจุงู„ุถุจุท.
45:43
Yeah, that's exactly right.
1003
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2030
ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญ ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง.
45:45
- So really making friends
1004
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2310
- ู„ุฐุง ูุฅู† ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช
45:47
and turning acquaintances into deeper friends
1005
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3150
ูˆุชุญูˆูŠู„ ุงู„ู…ุนุงุฑู ุฅู„ู‰ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ุฃุนู…ู‚
45:51
is hugely an issue of putting yourself out there.
1006
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ูŠู…ุซู„ ู…ุดูƒู„ุฉ ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ ุชุชู…ุซู„ ููŠ ุฅุธู‡ุงุฑ ู†ูุณูƒ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ.
45:53
That means taking a risk, being vulnerable.
1007
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ู‡ุฐุง ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุงู„ู…ุฎุงุทุฑุฉ ุŒ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุถุนูŠูู‹ุง.
45:58
David, talk to me about some of your best friends
1008
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ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุนูŠ ุนู† ุจุนุถ ู…ู† ุฃูุถู„ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูƒ
46:01
about how you met those people,
1009
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2355
ุญูˆู„ ูƒูŠู ู‚ุงุจู„ุช ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุŒ
46:03
where that friendship was nurtured?
1010
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ุญูŠุซ ู†ุดุฃุช ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉุŸ
46:06
- Sure, so one of my closest friends
1011
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- ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠุช ุจุฃุญุฏ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูŠ ุงู„ู…ู‚ุฑุจูŠู†
46:10
I met in high school, so in ninth grade,
1012
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ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูˆูŠุฉ ุŒ ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุตู ุงู„ุชุงุณุน ุŒ ูˆูƒุงู†
46:14
and we had class together, and we just,
1013
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ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ูุตู„ ู…ุนู‹ุง ุŒ
46:17
I think the first time that we spoke
1014
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชุญุฏุซู†ุง ููŠู‡ุง
46:19
was during an assignment in the Spanish class
1015
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ูƒุงู†ุช ุฃุซู†ุงุก ู…ู‡ู…ุฉ ููŠ ุงู„ูุตู„ ุงู„ุฅุณุจุงู†ูŠ
46:22
and we hit it off.
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ุถุฑุจู†ุงู‡ุง ุนู†.
46:23
We ended up both playing basketball,
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ุงู†ุชู‡ู‰ ุจู†ุง ุงู„ู…ุทุงู ุจู„ุนุจ ูƒุฑุฉ ุงู„ุณู„ุฉ ุŒ ูˆูƒุงู†ุช
46:26
and that was the start of our friendship
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ุชู„ูƒ ุจุฏุงูŠุฉ ุตุฏุงู‚ุชู†ุง
46:29
that's still really close to this day.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุง ุชุฒุงู„ ู‚ุฑูŠุจุฉ ุฌุฏู‹ุง ู…ู† ูŠูˆู…ู†ุง ู‡ุฐุง.
46:31
- So a friendship that carried through
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- ุฅุฐู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุงุณุชู…ุฑุช
46:34
from childhood?
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ู…ู†ุฐ ุงู„ุทููˆู„ุฉุŸ
46:35
- Yeah, mm-hmm, yeah, we would have been,
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู…ู…ู…ู…ู… ุŒ ู†ุนู… ุŒ ูƒู†ุง ุณู†ูƒูˆู† ุŒ
46:37
how old are you in ninth grade?
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ูƒู… ุนู…ุฑูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุตู ุงู„ุชุงุณุนุŸ
46:39
15, I guess.
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15 ุŒ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ.
46:40
- Yeah, 14 maybe.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุฑุจู…ุง 14.
46:42
Okay so-- - So that's one extreme.
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง - - ุฅุฐู† ู‡ุฐุง ูˆุงุญุฏ ู…ุชุทุฑู.
46:44
That's an example of a childhood friend.
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ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุซุงู„ ุนู„ู‰ ุตุฏูŠู‚ ุงู„ุทููˆู„ุฉ.
46:45
And then I guess sort of on the other end
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ุซู… ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุทุฑู ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ
46:48
would be someone that I met about seven years ago at work
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ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ุดุฎุตู‹ุง ู‚ุงุจู„ุชู‡ ู…ู†ุฐ ุญูˆุงู„ูŠ ุณุจุน ุณู†ูˆุงุช ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„
46:51
who just from being at work together
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ูƒุงู† ูู‚ุท ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ู…ุนู‹ุง
46:55
and having conversations there, realizing that,
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ูˆุฅุฌุฑุงุก ู…ุญุงุฏุซุงุช ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุŒ ูˆุฅุฏุฑุงูƒู‹ุง ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
46:58
"Oh, you know what?
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"ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ุฃุชุนู„ู… ู…ุงุฐุงุŸ
46:59
"We really get along well."
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" ู†ุญู† ุญู‚ู‹ุง ู†ุชูู‚ ุฌูŠุฏู‹ุง . "
47:00
And so then he and I started to hang out
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ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุฏุฃู†ุง ุฃู†ุง ูˆู‡ูˆ ููŠ ุงู„ุชุณูƒุน
47:02
outside of work sometimes,
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ุฎุงุฑุฌ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ุŒ ูˆุงู†ุชู‡ู‰
47:04
and that ended up becoming a very close friendship.
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ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุจุฃู† ุชุตุจุญ ุตุฏุงู‚ุฉ ุญู…ูŠู…ุฉ ู„ู„ุบุงูŠุฉ. ูƒู†ุช
47:09
I was the officiant at their wedding,
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ุงู„ู…ุณุคูˆู„ ููŠ ุญูู„ ุฒูุงูู‡ู…ุง ุŒ
47:11
and we are extremely close now and see each other a lot,
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ูˆู†ุญู† ู‚ุฑูŠุจูˆู† ู„ู„ุบุงูŠุฉ ุงู„ุขู† ูˆู†ุฑู‰ ุจุนุถู†ุง ุงู„ุจุนุถ ูƒุซูŠุฑู‹ุง ุŒ
47:15
even though we no longer work together,
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ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุบู… ู…ู† ู„ู… ู†ุนุฏ ู†ุนู…ู„ ู…ุนู‹ุง ุŒ
47:17
so that's someone who I met later in life
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠุช ุจู‡ ู„ุงุญู‚ู‹ุง ููŠ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ
47:20
who has become a very close friend as well.
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃุตุจุญ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ู…ู‚ุฑุจู‹ุง ุฌุฏู‹ุง. -
47:23
- And then what about Adrian?
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ุซู… ู…ุงุฐุง ุนู† ุฃุฏุฑูŠุงู†ุŸ
47:25
You have a really interesting story about
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู‚ุตุฉ ู…ุซูŠุฑุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุญูˆู„
47:26
how you met him, don't you?
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ูƒูŠู ู‚ุงุจู„ุชู‡ ุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ
47:28
- Yeah, so we were, we had a mutual friend,
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒู†ุง ุŒ ูˆูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุตุฏูŠู‚ ู…ุดุชุฑูƒ ุŒ
47:31
and when Adrian and I met,
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠุช ุฃู†ุง ูˆุฃุฏุฑูŠุงู† ุŒ
47:33
we started to do some of the typical questions
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ุจุฏุฃู†ุง ููŠ ุทุฑุญ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุณุฆู„ุฉ ุงู„ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌูŠุฉ
47:36
back and forth about, "So, what do you do?"
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ุฐู‡ุงุจู‹ุง ูˆุฅูŠุงุจู‹ุง ุญูˆู„ ุŒ "ุฅุฐู† ุŒ ู…ุงุฐุง ุชูุนู„ุŸ"
47:38
And we realized that we have both done
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ูˆุฃุฏุฑูƒู†ุง ุฃู†ู†ุง ู‚ุฏ ูุนู„ู†ุง
47:41
restorative justice work, which is a particular kind of
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ุนู…ู„ ุงู„ุนุฏุงู„ุฉ ุงู„ุชุตุงู„ุญูŠุฉ ุŒ ูˆู‡ูˆ ู†ูˆุน ุฎุงุต ู…ู†
47:44
intervention with people in conflict,
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ุงู„ุชุฏุฎู„ ู…ุน ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ู†ุฒุงุน ุŒ
47:46
and then we realized that we have both done work around
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ุซู… ุฃุฏุฑูƒู†ุง ุฃู†ู†ุง ู‚ุฏ ู‚ู…ู†ุง ุจุนู…ู„ ุญูˆู„
47:49
domestic violence and we were both politically engaged
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ุงู„ุนู†ู ุงู„ู…ู†ุฒู„ูŠ ูˆุงู†ุฎุฑุทู†ุง ุณูŠุงุณูŠู‹ุง
47:54
in sort of really similar ways,
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ููŠ ู†ูˆุน ู…ู† ุงู„ุทุฑู‚ ุงู„ู…ุชุดุงุจู‡ุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ูˆูƒุงู†
47:56
and just sort of had this story
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ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ู†ูˆุนู‹ุง ู…ุง ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู‚ุตุฉ
47:58
that kept mirroring each other at every turn.
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ุงู„ุชูŠ ุธู„ูˆุง ูŠุนูƒุณูˆู† ุจุนุถู‡ู… ุงู„ุจุนุถ ููŠ ูƒู„ ู…ู†ุนุทู.
48:01
And this is another example of how
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ู…ุซุงู„ ุขุฎุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒูŠู
48:05
you can really quickly become close with someone
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุงู„ุงู‚ุชุฑุงุจ ู…ู† ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุจุณุฑุนุฉ
48:08
when you realize you have a bunch of
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุฏุฑูƒ ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู…ู†
48:09
overlapping life experiences and just
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ุชุฌุงุฑุจ ุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุงู„ู…ุชุฏุงุฎู„ุฉ ูˆูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ูู‚ุท
48:12
can hit it off right away because of that.
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ุถุฑุจู‡ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ููˆุฑ ุจุณุจุจ ุฐู„ูƒ.
48:15
- I had heard the story that you guys
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- ู„ู‚ุฏ ุณู…ุนุช ู‚ุตุฉ ุฃู†ูƒู… ูƒู†ุชู…
48:17
were at a bar and you just randomly met,
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ููŠ ุญุงู†ุฉ ูˆุชู‚ุงุจู„ุชู… ุนุดูˆุงุฆูŠุงู‹ ุŒ
48:18
but you actually were there because
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ู„ูƒู†ูƒู… ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ูƒู†ุชู… ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู„ุฃู†
48:20
you had a friend in common.
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ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุตุฏูŠู‚ู‹ุง ู…ุดุชุฑูƒู‹ุง.
48:21
- Yeah, mm-hmm. - Okay.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ู…ู…ู…ู…ู…. - ุชู…ุงู….
48:23
But still, you strike up this conversation
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ู„ูƒู† ู…ุน ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ุชูุชุญ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุญุงุฏุซุฉ
48:26
and you find you have all these things in common and then--
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ูˆุชุฌุฏ ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ูƒู„ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงู„ู…ุดุชุฑูƒุฉ ุซู… -
48:29
- Right, right.
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- ุตุญูŠุญ ุŒ ุตุญูŠุญ.
48:30
- He's moved away now,
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- ู„ู‚ุฏ ุงุจุชุนุฏ ุงู„ุขู† ุŒ
48:32
but he just visited us last week,
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ุฒุงุฑู†ุง ู„ู„ุชูˆ ุงู„ุฃุณุจูˆุน ุงู„ู…ุงุถูŠ ุŒ
48:33
it was great to see him.
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ูƒุงู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฑุงุฆุน ุฑุคูŠุชู‡.
48:34
- That was great.
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- ู‹ูƒุงู† ูƒุจูŠุฑุง.
48:36
- Let me see if I can talk about
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- ุฏุนู†ูŠ ุฃุฑู‰ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุนู†
48:37
some of my friendships that I have.
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ุจุนุถ ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุชูŠ ุงู„ุชูŠ ู„ุฏูŠ.
48:40
One of them, well, I definitely have friends from college.
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ุฃุญุฏู‡ู… ุŒ ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ุŒ ู„ุฏูŠ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุก ู…ู† ุงู„ูƒู„ูŠุฉ.
48:44
That's just where I met,
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ู‡ุฐุง ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠุช ููŠู‡ ูู‚ุท ุŒ
48:45
actually, my mom has made this comment.
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ููŠ ุงู„ูˆุงู‚ุน ุŒ ุฃุฏู„ุช ุฃู…ูŠ ุจู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุชุนู„ูŠู‚.
48:47
Throughout my life, I tend to have entered into
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ุทูˆุงู„ ุญูŠุงุชูŠ ุŒ ูƒู†ุช ุฃู…ูŠู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฏุฎูˆู„ ููŠ
48:51
or built around me these groups of six to eight women
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุงุช ุงู„ู…ูƒูˆู†ุฉ ู…ู† ุณุช ุฅู„ู‰ ุซู…ุงู†ูŠ ู†ุณุงุก ุฃูˆ ุจู†ูŠุชู‡ุง ุญูˆู„ูŠ
48:55
and that have become really
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ูˆุงู„ุชูŠ ุฃุตุจุญุช
48:58
close and supportive communities.
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ู…ุฌุชู…ุนุงุช ู‚ุฑูŠุจุฉ ูˆุฏุงุนู…ุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง. ู„ู‚ุฏ
49:00
I had that in high school and growing up,
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ุญุตู„ุช ุนู„ู‰ ุฐู„ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูˆูŠุฉ ูˆูƒุจุฑุช ุŒ ูˆูƒุงู†
49:02
I had the same thing in college,
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ู„ุฏูŠ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดูŠุก ููŠ ุงู„ูƒู„ูŠุฉ ุŒ
49:05
and then living in New York,
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ุซู… ุฃุนูŠุด ููŠ ู†ูŠูˆูŠูˆุฑูƒ ุŒ
49:06
I had developed this awesome group of women too.
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ูˆู‚ุฏ ุทูˆุฑุช ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ุงู„ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุณุงุก ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
49:10
And so that's been lucky,
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ูˆู„ุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุญุธูˆุธู‹ุง ุŒ
49:12
and the growing up and the college, that's obvious,
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ูˆุงู„ู†ุดุฃุฉ ูˆุงู„ูƒู„ูŠุฉ ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ูˆุงุถุญ ุŒ
49:18
'cause you're together all the time in school.
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"ู„ุฃู†ูƒู…ุง ู…ุนู‹ุง ุทูˆุงู„ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฏุฑุณุฉ.
49:20
And in New York, we all met 'cause
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ูˆููŠ ู†ูŠูˆูŠูˆุฑูƒ ุŒ ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠู†ุง ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ู„ุฃู†ู†ุง
49:23
we were connected through various people,
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ูƒู†ุง ู…ุฑุชุจุทูŠู† ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุฃุดุฎุงุต ู…ุฎุชู„ููŠู† ุŒ
49:25
and I think New York is the kind of place
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ู†ูŠูˆูŠูˆุฑูƒ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ู…ูƒุงู†
49:29
where there are so many people
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ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠูˆุฌุฏ ููŠู‡ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต
49:30
that it's actually easy to feel lost.
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ุจุญูŠุซ ูŠุณู‡ู„ ุงู„ุดุนูˆุฑ ุจุงู„ุถูŠุงุน.
49:32
And so I think when you're going there,
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ูˆู„ุฐุง ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุŒ
49:35
you often reach out, who do you know, who do you know,
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ุบุงู„ุจู‹ุง ู…ุง ุชุชูˆุงุตู„ ุŒ ู…ู† ุชุนุฑู ุŒ ู…ู† ุชุนุฑู ุŒ
49:38
who knows people in New York?
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ู…ู† ูŠุนุฑู ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ููŠ ู†ูŠูˆูŠูˆุฑูƒุŸ
49:39
And very often there are people who know people in New York,
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ูˆุบุงู„ุจู‹ุง ู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุฃุดุฎุงุต ูŠุนุฑููˆู† ุฃุดุฎุงุตู‹ุง ููŠ ู†ูŠูˆูŠูˆุฑูƒ ุŒ
49:42
and so that can kind of build a web for you
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ูˆุจุงู„ุชุงู„ูŠ ูŠู…ูƒู†ู‡ู… ุฅู†ุดุงุก ุดุจูƒุฉ ูˆูŠุจ ู„ูƒ
49:45
when you go somewhere, and that definitely happened for me.
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุฐู‡ุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ูƒุงู† ู…ุง ุŒ ูˆู‚ุฏ ุญุฏุซ ุฐู„ูƒ ุจุงู„ุชุฃูƒูŠุฏ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ูŠ.
49:47
And one of my other really close friends
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ูˆูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ู…ู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูŠ ุงู„ู…ู‚ุฑุจูŠู† ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†
49:50
who's been in a bunch of Rachel's English videos,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุดุงุฑูƒูˆุง ููŠ ู…ุฌู…ูˆุนุฉ ู…ู† ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ู„ุฑุงุดูŠู„ ุŒ
49:52
her name is Lynne, but we all call her Beads.
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ุงุณู…ู‡ุง ู„ูŠู† ุŒ ู„ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฌู…ูŠุนู‹ุง ู†ุณู…ูŠู‡ุง ุงู„ุฎุฑุฒ.
49:55
I met her from a singing gig,
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ุงู„ุชู‚ูŠุช ุจู‡ุง ู…ู† ุญูู„ุฉ ุบู†ุงุฆูŠุฉ ุŒ
49:57
and I think when you're in the arts
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ูˆุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู†ู‡ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ููŠ ูู†ูˆู†
50:00
and theater of the performing arts,
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ูˆู…ุณุฑุญ ูู†ูˆู† ุงู„ุฃุฏุงุก ุŒ
50:01
you can make really, really amazing friends
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุชูƒูˆูŠู† ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ุฑุงุฆุนุฉ ุญู‚ู‹ุง
50:05
because obviously you have the same passion.
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ู† ุงู„ูˆุงุถุญ ุฃู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุดุบู.
50:07
And then when you're in a production,
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ูˆุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูƒูˆู† ููŠ ุฅู†ุชุงุฌ ุŒ
50:08
you are just hanging out together all the time.
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ูุฃู†ุช ุชุชุณูƒุน ู…ุนู‹ุง ุทูˆุงู„ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช.
50:12
- I would also say that when you're performing,
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- ุฃูˆุฏ ุฃู† ุฃู‚ูˆู„ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู†ูƒ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชู‚ุฏู… ุฃุฏุงุกู‹ ุŒ
50:14
you're constantly in a state of vulnerability
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ูุฃู†ุช ุฏุงุฆู…ู‹ุง ููŠ ุญุงู„ุฉ ุถุนู
50:17
alongside people too.
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ุฅู„ู‰ ุฌุงู†ุจ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง.
50:18
- And that's interesting.
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- ูˆู‡ุฐุง ู…ุซูŠุฑ ู„ู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู….
50:20
Yeah, and people know what you're going through,
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ู†ุนู… ุŒ ูˆุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุนุฑููˆู† ู…ุง ุชู…ุฑ ุจู‡ ุŒ
50:21
like if you get sick.
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ู…ุซู„ ู…ุง ุฅุฐุง ู…ุฑุถุช.
50:24
As a singer, if you get a cold, your other friends are like,
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ูƒู…ุบู†ูŠ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ุฃุตุจุช ุจู†ุฒู„ุฉ ุจุฑุฏ ุŒ ูุฅู† ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆูƒ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆู† ุŒ
50:27
"Oh, it's fine, it's a cold, you'll be okay",
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"ุฃูˆู‡ ุŒ ู„ุง ุจุฃุณ ุŒ ุฅู†ู‡ ุจุฑุฏ ุŒ ุณุชูƒูˆู† ุจุฎูŠุฑ" ุŒ
50:30
whereas another singer knows, "Oh my gosh, that's gonna,
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ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ูŠุนุฑู ู…ุบู†ูŠ ุขุฎุฑ ุŒ "ูŠุง ุฅู„ู‡ูŠ ุŒ ู‡ุฐุง ุณูŠุญุฏุซ ุŒ
50:33
"yeah I'm gonna have to figure out how to work through that,
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" ู†ุนู… ุณูŠุถุทุฑ ู… ุฅู„ู‰ ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ
50:35
"that's gonna be tough."
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"ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุนุจู‹ุง."
50:38
Yeah.
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ู†ุนู….
50:39
Well David, it's been really interesting
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ุญุณู†ู‹ุง ูŠุง ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุŒ ู„ู‚ุฏ ูƒุงู† ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุซูŠุฑ ู„ู„ุงู‡ุชู…ุงู… ุญู‚ู‹ุง
50:41
discussing friendships with you and just thinking about
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ู…ู†ุงู‚ุดุฉ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช ู…ุนูƒ ูˆุงู„ุชููƒูŠุฑ ูู‚ุท ููŠ
50:44
how many times you might kind of reach out to somebody
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ุนุฏุฏ ุงู„ู…ุฑุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ู‚ุฏ ุชุชูˆุงุตู„ ููŠู‡ุง ู…ุน ุดุฎุต ู…ุง
50:49
and have them not be interested
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ูˆุชุฌุนู„ู‡ ุบูŠุฑ ู…ู‡ุชู…
50:51
before you find someone
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ู‚ุจู„ ุฃู† ุชุฌุฏ ุดุฎุตู‹ุง
50:53
where you can develop something more.
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู…ู† ุฎู„ุงู„ู‡ ุชุทูˆูŠุฑ ุดูŠุก ุฃูƒุซุฑ.
50:55
And I'm really curious, is this very different
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ูˆุฃู†ุง ุฃุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ูุถูˆู„ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุŒ ู‡ู„ ู‡ุฐุง ู…ุฎุชู„ู ุชู…ุงู…ู‹ุง
50:58
from what people out there experience
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ุนู…ุง ูŠุฎุชุจุฑู‡ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
51:00
in their own home culture, or is it pretty similar?
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ููŠ ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ูˆุทู†ู‡ู… ุŒ ุฃู… ุฃู†ู‡ ู…ุดุงุจู‡ ุฌุฏู‹ุงุŸ
51:04
I wish that I had the chance to talk with other people
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ุฃุชู…ู†ู‰ ุฃู† ุฃุชูŠุญุช ู„ูŠ ุงู„ูุฑุตุฉ ู„ู„ุชุญุฏุซ ู…ุน ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุขุฎุฑูŠู†
51:07
from other cultures about this.
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ู…ู† ุซู‚ุงูุงุช ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆุถูˆุน.
51:09
But thank you guys so much for listening
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ู„ูƒู† ุดูƒุฑุงู‹ ุฌุฒูŠู„ุงู‹ ู„ูƒู… ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุงุณุชู…ุงุน
51:10
and thank you David for being here and sharing some about
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ูˆุฃุดูƒุฑูƒู… ุฏูŠููŠุฏ ุนู„ู‰ ูˆุฌูˆุฏูƒู… ู‡ู†ุง ูˆู…ุดุงุฑูƒุฉ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ู…ุนู„ูˆู…ุงุช ุนู†
51:14
your life, your background,
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ุญูŠุงุชูƒ ูˆุฎู„ููŠุชูƒ
51:16
and your perspective on friendships.
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ูˆู…ู†ุธูˆุฑูƒ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุตุฏุงู‚ุงุช.
51:18
- Yeah, you're welcome, that was really fun.
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- ู†ุนู… ุŒ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฑุญุจ ูˆุงู„ุณุนุฉ ุŒ ูƒุงู† ุฐู„ูƒ ู…ู…ุชุนู‹ุง ุญู‚ู‹ุง.
51:20
- And thanks for the questions that got written in.
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- ูˆุดูƒุฑู‹ุง ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฃุณุฆู„ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู…ุช ูƒุชุงุจุชู‡ุง. ุฃูŠู‡ุง
51:23
Guys, if you would like to subscribe to this podcast,
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ุงู„ุฑุฌุงู„ ุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุชู… ุชุฑุบุจูˆู† ููŠ ุงู„ุงุดุชุฑุงูƒ ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช ุŒ
51:26
I hope you do.
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ุฃุชู…ู†ู‰ ุฃู† ุชูุนู„ูˆุง ุฐู„ูƒ.
51:27
You can visit the iTunes Store or Stitcher to subscribe.
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฒูŠุงุฑุฉ iTunes Store ุฃูˆ Stitcher ู„ู„ุงุดุชุฑุงูƒ.
51:31
I would also love it if you would take the time
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ุฃูˆุฏ ุฃูŠุถู‹ุง ุฃู† ุชุฃุฎุฐ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ุงู„ูƒุงููŠ
51:33
to leave a review there.
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ู„ุชุฑูƒ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ.
51:34
You know what?
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ุฃุชุนู„ู…ุŸ
51:35
Go do it right now.
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ุงุฐู‡ุจ ุงูุนู„ู‡ุง ุงู„ุขู†.
51:36
I read all of the reviews,
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ู‚ุฑุฃุช ุฌู…ูŠุน ุงู„ู…ุฑุงุฌุนุงุช ุŒ
51:37
and I really love to hear what you think about the podcast.
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ูˆุฃุญุจ ุญู‚ู‹ุง ุณู…ุงุน ุฑุฃูŠูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ุจูˆุฏูƒุงุณุช.
51:41
That's it for this week, we'll be back again next week.
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ู‡ุฐุง ูƒู„ ุดูŠุก ู„ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฃุณุจูˆุน ุŒ ุณู†ุนูˆุฏ ู…ุฑุฉ ุฃุฎุฑู‰ ุงู„ุฃุณุจูˆุน ุงู„ู…ู‚ุจู„.
51:44
Can't wait to talk to you guys.
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ู„ุง ุฃุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู„ุงู†ุชุธุงุฑ ู„ู„ุชุญุฏุซ ุฅู„ูŠูƒู… ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚.
51:46
See you soon.
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ุงุฑุงูƒ ู‚ุฑูŠุจุง.
51:47
- Bye, guys.
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- ุณู„ุงู… ูŠุง ุฑูุงู‚.
ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน

ุณูŠู‚ุฏู… ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ YouTube ุงู„ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ. ุณุชุฑู‰ ุฏุฑูˆุณ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุชุฏุฑูŠุณู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุฏุฑุณูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ู…ู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…. ุงู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆุถุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒู„ ุตูุญุฉ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ. ูŠุชู… ุชู…ุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุงุช ุจุงู„ุชุฒุงู…ู† ู…ุน ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุทู„ุจุงุช ุŒ ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู†ุง ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7