The myth of bringing your full, authentic self to work | Jodi-Ann Burey

Transcriber:

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Helen Chang

So picture this.

想像一下這個情境。

Your friend calls to invite you to a party this Saturday.

你的朋友打電話邀請你 參加星期六的派對。

They say, "Yes, I totally understand that Saturday is Halloween,

他們說：「是的，

我非常清楚星期六是萬聖節，

but trust me, it's not a Halloween party.

但，相信我，這不是 萬聖節前夕派對。

October 31 just happens to be the best day when everyone is in town.

只是十月三十一日剛好是 最好的日子，大家都在城裡。

No, no, no, no.

不，不，不，不。

You don't have to wear a costume.

不用變裝。

It's not going to be like that at all.

完全不是那樣的。 以你原本的樣子來就好。」

Just come as you are."

A party with your friends on Halloween,

朋友在萬聖節舉辦的派對，

without having to go through all the trouble of finding a costume,

完全不用費心去變裝，

a costume, mind you, you'll never wear again.

別忘了，變裝的服裝 就只會穿那麼一次。

Oh, you will be there.

喔，你一定會去的。

So Saturday is here.

於是，星期六到了。

You head on over in your favorite faded jeans

你出發前往，穿著 你最愛的褪色牛仔褲，

and the stylish enough top,

搭配夠時髦的上衣，

quite frankly, you’ve been lounging in all day.

坦白說，你整天都在 消磨時間等晚上到來。

You knock on the door.

你敲了門。

Out steps these bright red boots,

閃亮的紅色靴子踏了出來，

the perfect accessory to your friend's Wonder Woman costume.

跟你朋友穿著的神力女超人 服裝實在太搭了。

Wonder is the exact description of the look on your face.

你臉上盡是驚奇的表情。

As you enter the house,

當你進入屋內，

your eyes dart across a number of cartoon characters,

你的眼睛掃視到好幾個卡通角色、

uniformed professionals

穿著職業制服的人，

and some unfortunate impersonations of the latest celebrities.

還有一些模仿最近名人的失敗裝扮。

You look to your friend for answers,

你用眼神向朋友尋求答案，

but they're gathering the final votes for the costume contest.

但他們正在收集 變裝比賽的最後選票。

The costume contest.

變裝比賽。

You, of course,

當然，你

receive no votes.

沒有得到任何一票。

Do you feel that?

你能感覺到嗎？

你此時此刻的感受？

That feeling that you have right now?

The anxiety, the upset and bewilderment

焦慮、沮喪、迷惑，

as to how you came to be the odd one out

不解為什麼你只是照著 指示做，卻成了場中的怪咖。

for just doing what you were told.

To come as you are.

以原本的樣子來就好。

That's exactly how I feel

這正是我的感受，

when I am told to bring my full, authentic self to work.

我得到的指示是，

以完整、真實的自己去工作即可。

"We want people of color to feel like they belong here," they say.

「我們希望有色人種 能覺得他們屬於這裡。」

他們如是說。

"We're looking for passionate people who can bring a fresh perspective

「我們在尋找有熱情的人， 能帶來新鮮的觀點，

to challenge our way of thinking," they say.

挑戰我們的思考方式。」

他們如是說。

"Our diversity is our strength," they say.

「我們的多樣性是我們的長處。」

他們如是說。

"Come just as you are,"

「以原本的樣子來就好。」

they say.

他們如是說。

Recruiters, managers, executives, CEOs --

招聘人員、經理、主管、執行長——

all those responsible for making decisions.

所有負責做決策的人。

They say quite a lot.

他們說的還不少。

And perhaps for good reason.

可能背後有很好的理由。

It's long been the expectation for people like me

長期以來，我這種人一直被期望，

who have been grossly, often intentionally,

「我這種人」指的是在工作上

曾被嚴重地且通常 還是惡意地忽視的人，

underrepresented at work

to contort ourselves into this caricature of what some call professionalism,

我們被期望要把自己扭曲塞進

這幅所謂職業精神的諷刺漫畫當中，

and what we call a distorted elaboration of white cultural norms

而我們所謂的

白人文化標準的扭曲詮釋

and the standards that meet the comforts

以及能滿足在社會上 和制度上掌權者的標準，

of those who hold social and institutional power.

That's professionalism.

那就是職業精神。

The invitation to bring our full, authentic selves to work

邀請我們用完整、真實的自己去上班

signals that this place could be the place to safely shed the guise.

就表示這個地方

可能是個可以安全脫下偽裝的地方。

We could collect the parts of ourselves we've compartmentalized

我們可以把我們過去 切割開來的部分自我再次找回，

and trust that our differences will be seen as assets,

並相信，我們的歧見會被視為資產，

not liabilities.

而不是負擔。

Seeded in this call for authenticity

在這呼籲真實性的邀請中 所播下的種子是這個想法：

is this idea that those who don't have to spend all their energy

不用把所有心力花在 隱藏部分自我的人，

hiding parts of themselves

could find more fulfillment at work.

在工作上能找到更多成就感。

The expectation is that the more we could just be ourselves,

期望是：

我們越能做自己，

perhaps, just maybe, others will follow suit.

也許，只是也許，

別人就會跟著做。

The hope is that soon enough

希望是，很快地，

the culture of the entire organization will shift,

整個組織的文化就會轉變，

becoming more inclusive and welcoming of difference.

變得更包容，更歡迎差異。

My type of difference.

我的這種差異。

So I show up to work as I am,

所以，

我就以原本的樣子去上班，

with my Afro, my family photos,

頂著圓蓬式髮型， 帶著我的家庭照片、

my disability accommodation needs, my questions, my pushback,

我的殘疾住方需求、

我的問題、我的反彈、

my perspective, grounded in the lived experience

以我所有身分的生活經驗 為基礎所發展出的觀點。

of all my identities.

I show up with this full, authentic self

我用完整、真實的自己出席，

to perform my job with excellence.

把我的工作做到最好。

But when the time comes for the stretch projects,

但若遇到超負荷挑戰任務、

the promotion, equal pay, recognition,

升遷、平等工資、認可、

mentors, sponsors ...

導師、贊助……

I'm overlooked.

我就會被忽視。

"You need to work on being more of a team player," they say.

「你得努力成為合群的成員。」

他們如是說。

"Your approach makes it difficult to work with you," they say.

「你的做法讓你變得

很難共事。」

他們如是說。

"Try to help others feel more comfortable around you," they say.

「試著協助別人在你身邊 能感覺更自在。」

他們如是說。

"You are hurting your relationships at work

「當你談到種族主義時，

when you talk about racism,"

就在傷害你工作上的關係。」

they say.

他們如是說。

No promotion, no mentor, no votes.

沒有升遷，沒有導師，沒有選票。

We cannot compete in the costume contest

我們沒有戲服還去參加變裝比賽，

without a costume

and expect to win.

那就不能期望會贏。

The call to brave work with more authenticity

呼籲要勇敢地用更真實的自己去工作

undeservedly disadvantages people of color.

對有色人種十分不利， 這實在不應該。

Those of us who are already burdened

我們這些人已經要扛著

with the task of chronically battling bias.

長期對抗偏見的任務重擔。

With precision, the work to shift culture

轉變文化的努力根本就是

is designed to cost us our own mental and physical health.

設計來損耗我們的身心健康。

If who we are makes us as difficult as they say,

如果如他們所言， 我們的本質讓我們很難搞，

then this demand for our authenticity compromises our careers.

那麼要求我們要真實，

反而會危及我們的職涯。

Listen, the fact is this:

聽著，事實是這樣：

one person, or even a few people coming just as we are,

一個人，

或甚至幾個人，以原本的樣子來，

cannot change company culture.

是無法改變公司文化的。

How would change happen alongside rewards for coded definitions of "fit"?

若「適合」的暗隱定義會被獎勵，

改變怎麼會發生？

What difference would it make to allege a value for diversity

光是宣稱多樣性的價值， 卻無法以有意義的方式

without sustaining evidence of that value in any meaningful way?

持續張顯這個價值，那有什麼用？

We know what we're up against.

我們知道我們面臨的是什麼。

Authenticity has become a palatable proxy

真實性變成了一種美好的取代品，

to mask the pressing need to end the racism, ageism,

以掩飾其實我們迫切 需要終結種族主義、

老年歧視、

ableism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia and the like

能力歧視、性別歧視、

恐同症、仇視外國人等等，

that run rampant throughout our professional lives.

這些在我們的職業生活中都很猖獗。

Without accountability to examine these systems of bias and power,

若沒有人負責檢視 這些偏見和權力的體制，

the call for authenticity fails.

呼籲真實性的邀請就會失敗。

It fails to question who is in the room,

它無法去質疑誰在房間裡、

who sits at that table and who gets to be heard.

誰能坐上討論桌、

誰的聲音能被聽見。

It fails to demand that we reveal the truth

它無法要求我們揭露真相，

about how racism impacts decisions about who's in the room,

揭露出種族主義

如何影響決策， 決定關於誰在房間裡、

who sits at that table and who gets to be heard.

誰能坐上討論桌、

誰的聲音能被聽見。

What many people of color find is that even when we are in the room,

許多有色人種會發現，

就算我們能進到房間裡，

sitting at that table,

坐上那討論桌，

stating firmly, “I am speaking,”

堅定地陳述說：「我在發言。」

very few people are actually listening.

也沒有幾個人有真正在聽。

It starts to feel like our bodies are wanted in the room,

開始會有一種感覺，

他們只要我們的身體進去房間，

but not our voices.

不要我們的聲音進去。

Look, I know what that's like.

我知道那是什麼感覺。

A couple of years ago,

幾年前，

at the end of the senior leadership brainstorming meeting,

在資深領導人腦力激盪會議的尾聲，

I was called into an unscheduled check-in with an executive.

有位主管臨時找我過去。

She sounded enthusiastic

她聽起來非常想知道

about how my contributions helped move the project forward,

我的貢獻如何協助計畫向前邁進，

so it surprised me when she then suggested

所以我很訝異她接下來竟然建議

that in future meetings,

在未來的會議中，我應該要

I should try to be more agreeable

試著更樂於配合，

to help give others a win.

協助別人成功。

If I did have feedback,

如果我真的有回饋意見，

she advised that I send it over email instead.

她則建議我改用電子郵件來提出。

Honestly, I was taken aback.

老實說，我當下真是措手不及。

Like, here I was feeling like my contributions mattered,

一方面我覺得我的貢獻好像很重要，

that my seat at that table had proved pivotal

我在討論桌上的位置 似乎已經被證明很重要，

to the success of our work together.

會影響我們的合作是否能成功。

Excitedly, I felt a lightness,

我很興奮，鬆了一口氣，

ideating alongside my colleagues without reserve.

毫無保留地和同事一起建構想法。

The work was riveting.

這工作太吸引我了。

So I opted outside of my usual guardedness.

所以我選擇踏出了 我平時的謹慎範圍。

I stopped hiding my opinions.

我不再隱藏我的意見。

I worried less about those constricted norms

我比較不去擔心那些侷限我 該如何表現自己的規範。

of how I should express myself.

For the first time, I felt like --

這是我頭一次覺得——

Like I could take off that costume

我可以脫下那變裝，

so many of us have to wear.

許多人都必須要穿著的變裝。

Clearly, that was a mistake.

很顯然，

我錯了。

At the end of her comments, I tried to keep it real with her.

在她評論的尾聲， 我試著對她保持坦誠，我說：

I said, "Your advice is consistent

「你的建議很符合有色人種女性，

with the way women of color,

Black women especially, are treated at work."

特別是黑人女性， 在工作時受到的對待。」

Her response fit perfectly into this three-step framework

她的反應完全呈現出了 一種三步驟的架構，

I've now come to know as DARVO:

現在我知道這種架構叫做 DARVO：

deny, attack, reverse the victim with the offender.

否認（D）、攻擊（A）、

把受害者和加害者調換（RVO）。

DARVO sounds like this.

DARVO 聽起來是這樣的：

(Clears throat)

（清喉嚨）

"Jodi-Ann, this has nothing to do with your race."

「茱蒂安，這和你的種族無關。」

Deny.

否認。

"You're just being too sensitive and angry."

「只是你太敏感且憤怒了。」

Attack.

攻擊。

"You know, if you're going to play the race card

「如果每次我試著給你 回饋意見時你都要打出種族牌，

every time I try to give you feedback,

it's going to make it really hard for us to work together.

我們就很難合作共事了。

I just want you to be successful here.

我只希望你在這裡能成功。

I'm just trying to support you."

我只是在試著支持你。」

Who's the victim now?

現在誰是受害者？

Her attempts to gaslight me,

她嘗試在情感上操縱我，

to psychologically manipulate me

在精神面控制我，

into questioning my own reality

讓我質疑我自己的現實是不重要的。

was futile.

Even then, in that moment,

就算是在那個時刻，

I knew that my experience was not unique.

我也知道一定有別人 也有我這種經歷。

For too many Black women and other people of color,

有太多黑人女性以及其他有色人種、

people living with disabilities,

身心障礙者、

nonbinary people, deaf people,

非二元性別者、聽障者、

LGBTQIA+ people

LGBTQIA+ 族群，

and others among us

還有一些其他人，

that are constantly featured on the "Come work with us" section

都是公司官網上

「來加入我們」區塊的主打對象，

on company websites,

we know this harsh reality intimately.

我們對這種殘酷的現實 有很切身的了解。

Being authentic privileges those already part of the dominant culture.

「做真實的自己」

是本來就屬於主流文化者的特權。

It is much easier to be who you are

如果你身邊都是像你這樣的人，

when who you are is all around you.

做你自己就容易許多。

Coming just as we are when we're the first,

「以我們原本的樣子來」，

對我們這些是最先、唯一、

the only, the different or one of the few

不同，或屬於少數的人，

can prove too risky.

其實有相當高的風險。

So we wear the costume.

所以

我們會變裝。

We keep the truer parts of ourselves hidden.

我們會藏著自己比較真實的部分。

We straighten our curly hair for interviews.

我們會為了面談去把捲髮弄成直髮。

We pick up hobbies we do not enjoy.

我們會去培養我們並不享受的嗜好。

We restate our directives as optional suggestions.

我們要給別人指示時，會改說成

可以選擇性接受的建議。

We talk about the weather instead of police brutality.

我們談天氣，不談警察的蠻橫行為。

We mourn for Breonna Taylor alone.

我們獨自為布倫娜·泰勒哀悼。

We ignore the racist comments our supervisor makes,

我們會忽略主管意見中的種族歧視，

we stop correcting our mispronounced names.

當我們的名字被唸錯， 我們也不再去做糾正。

We ask fewer questions.

我們不太問問題， 我們學會什麼都不說，

We learn to say nothing and smile.

微笑就好。

We omit parts of our stories.

我們會把自己的故事省略掉一部分。

We erase parts of ourselves.

我們會把自己的一部分給抹除。

Our histories and present reality

我們的歷史和現今的現實 都證明了這個做法

show this to be the best path for success.

就是成功的最佳途徑。

But now our society is reaching a new tipping point.

但，現在，

我們的社會即將到達 一個新的關鍵轉折點。

Inequities,

不平等、種族主義，

racism and bigotry

are finding fewer places to cower.

及偏執能夠退縮的地方越來越少了。

Silences are becoming harder to keep.

會越來越難保持沉默。

Our most radical collective imaginations for racial justice

對於種族正義，我們集體 所做出最根本的想像

are reaching new possibilities.

也有了新的可能性。

And so I'm asking

所以，我的請求是，

that we, the people who have and continue to be denied inclusion

我們這些人，

也就是在那不斷重覆的情境中 曾經且持續被排懠的人，

in that refrain,

dedicate the authentic fullness of who we are to that work,

請用真實、完整的自我 來投入這件事，

the work of making space everywhere for who we are -- to breathe.

來努力在各處創造一些空間，

讓真實的我們——能夠呼吸。

But just for a moment,

但，給我一點時間，

let me step away from that work

讓我先離題一下，

to tell the rest of you this.

告訴你們其他人這件事：

Black people do not need to be any more authentic.

黑人並不需要再更真實了。

So no,

所以，不，

this Black disabled immigrant woman

這位身障的黑人移民女子

will not be bringing her full, authentic self to work.

不會用完整、真實的自己去工作。

But she is asking that you,

但，她要請求你們，

those of you with the power of your positions

所處位置具有權力的人、

and the protection of your whiteness

受到白皮膚保護的人，

and other societal privileges you did not earn,

以及不用自己掙 就擁有社會特權的人，

to take on that risk instead.

請你們來擔起那些風險。

There's an opportunity in this movement for change

在這個運動中有可以改變的機會，

for you to do just that -- change.

讓你能夠去做它——改變。

Not your hearts and minds.

不是指你的心及你的腦。

Close the gap between what you say

讓你說的話能夠更接近

and how we're treated.

我們受到的待遇。

Change your decisions.

改變你的決策。

Make working effectively across racial and cultural differences

讓有效地跨越種族和文化差異的方式

a core competency in hiring and performance management for everyone.

能夠成為每個人在聘僱 和績效管理上的核心能力。

Define good product design

把好的產品設計定義為

as one that centers the most underserved people.

必須要能夠重視 最無法取得資源的那些人。

Close the racial gender pay gap,

消除種族性別的工資落差，

starting first with Latinx women.

先從拉丁裔女性開始。

Build responsive people systems

建立會回應的人員制度，

to manage racial conflict with equity and justice.

本著平等和正義來管理種族衝突。

These aren't the decisions that shift culture,

這些並不是會轉變文化的決策，

but rather a tiny sample of the expansive possibilities

只是一些小小的例子，

說明你現在就可以做的貢獻

of what you can actually do today,

其實非常多、非常廣，

in your next meeting,

在你的下一次會議中，

to realize the hope for racial equity.

你就可以為種族平等帶來希望。

You do the work to make it safe for me to come just as I am

你付諸行動，

讓我能夠安心地 以原本的樣子來就好，

with my full, authentic self.

做我完整、真實的自己。

That's your job, not mine.

那是你的工作，不是我的。

It's your party, not mine.

那是你的派對，不是我的。

You set the rules and rewards.

規則和獎賞是你訂的。

So I'm asking you,

所以，我要問你，

what will it take to win in your contest?

要在你的比賽中獲勝， 要付出什麼代價？

Thank you.

謝謝。