How we became sisters | Felice Belle and Jennifer Murphy

Chris Waddell: Felice Bell and Jennifer Murphy

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Luisa Lee

克里斯瓦多：佛莉絲貝爾 和珍妮佛墨菲

are going to do an excerpts from their play "Other Women,"

要來表演她們的舞台劇 《其他女人》中的一段，

which is created and directed by Monica L. Williams,

創作人兼導演為蒙妮卡 L. 威廉斯，

so please welcome Felice Bell and Jennifer Murphy.

請歡迎佛莉絲貝爾和珍妮佛墨菲。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

(Music)

（音樂）

Felice Bell: Gambling.

佛：賭博。

Quit your job.

辭掉你的工作。

With no savings and a rough sketch of the rest of your life.

沒有存款，對接下來的 人生只有大概的略圖。

Withdraw money from your 401K,

從你的 401K 退休福利計畫 提錢出來，

pay the penalty, why wait?

罰就罰，何必等呢？

In this economy, everything you own is worth more than it will ever be.

在這個經濟狀況中，你擁有的一切 目前的價值都比將來高。

Cut your hair, call yourself "new,"

剪掉你的頭髮， 稱你自己是「全新的」，

call your ex, call Robin,

打電話給你的前任，打給羅蘋，

tell her you bought a ticket to the Bay.

告訴她你買了一張去海灣的票。

Paso Robles road trip,

巴索羅布列斯公路之旅，

wine taste,

品酒，

buy a Malbec and a tight red tee,

買一瓶馬爾貝克酒 和一件紅色緊身Ｔ恤，

eat a cookie from an LA dispensary,

吃一片買自洛杉磯大藥房的餅乾，

chain-smoke around bed and breakfast hillside fire pit

在山腰民宿的火坑邊不斷抽煙，

with San Diego newlyweds and vineyard view.

有聖地牙哥的新婚夫妻陪同， 眼前則是葡萄園的景。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Go to the water with your girls

和你的女兒們去水邊，

and grease-stained bags of burgers.

帶著有著油漬的袋子， 裡面都是漢堡。

Sit on driftwood.

坐在浮木上。

Sunset.

日落。

Remember you folded.

別忘了你放棄了你的一手牌。

Remember your place.

記得你的處境。

Spend the night in Reno.

在雷諾待一個晚上。

Resent the safety of the slots, sit at the blackjack table,

對吃角子老虎牢牢的出幣口生氣， 但仍然坐在二十一點賭桌，

hand the dealer rent, retirement,

把租金、退休金都交給荷官，

pray God cares enough to pony up an ace.

祈禱上帝夠在乎你， 能給你一個 Ａ 來還清債務。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Leaving.

離開。

Lunch on Lake Tahoe, they say, is deep

在太浩湖吃中餐，人們都說這湖

and cold enough to preserve a body whole.

夠深也夠冷，可以讓屍體完整保存。

Railroad workers, mafia, military and possibly a monster like Loch Ness --

鐵路工人、黑幫、軍人， 可能還有一隻尼斯湖水怪──

no one can prove it.

沒有人能證明。

Ignore the math.

別去想數學。

Odds are a distraction.

勝算會讓人分心。

What matters is the chip count.

重要的是手上有多少籌碼。

The cards on the table,

桌上的牌，

the cards in your hand.

你手中的牌。

You must be willing to lose.

你必須輸得心甘情願。

Jennifer Murphy: When the dream was a notion,

珍：當夢想只是一個概念時，

it lived in the desert

它活在沙漠中，

near Edwards Air Force Base, where NASA tested space ships.

在愛德華空軍基地附近， 美國太空總署測試太空船的地方。

It fed on cactus and stars, but it kept being delayed.

它以仙人掌和星星為食， 但它不斷被延後。

"It's not time," they said.

「還不是時候，」他們說。

The dream grew impatient,

夢想漸漸不耐煩了，

broke water, extracted from its mother in a bed of wrecked strawberries.

弄破羊水，從壓爛 草莓園圃的母體脫出。

As a teenager, it cried, took endless drives over the grapevine

身為青少年，它哭泣，越過葡萄藤 展開沒有終點的旅程，

out of a town ripe with oranges and silence,

離開了有著成熟橘子和沉默的小鎮，

"Get me out of here," it begged.

「讓我離開這裡，」它哀求。

It was so tiny and delicate, you feared for its life.

它如此微小、纖弱， 你會為它的生命感到擔心。

It seemed a butterfly might land on its face and crush it.

似乎只要蝴蝶停在 它的臉上，就能壓壞它。

It frightened you to love something so much.

它嚇壞了你，讓你 不敢這麼愛一樣東西。

Later it rebelled, got drunk,

後來，它叛逆，喝醉了酒，

handcuffed for urinating whiskey on your neighbor's rose bushes.

因為把威士忌尿在你鄰居的 玫瑰叢上而被上了手銬。

The dream had issues, needs.

夢想也有問題要解決，也有需求。

"Don't ignore me," it screamed.

「別無視我，」它大叫。

It needed skyscrapers and nicotine,

它需要摩天樓和尼古丁，

needed to stay home reading the "Easter Parade"

需要待在家中閱讀《幸福大道》，

instead of going to its job as a waitress at a restaurant

而不是去餐廳做女服務生的工作，

where it could not afford the food.

且還是間它吃不起的餐廳。

It was a dream, for Christ's sake, it had better things to do.

它是一個夢想，看在老天份上， 它還有更好的事可以做。

It had to write, pray, dispatch fleets of messages to God

它得要寫作、禱告、 派遣訊息艦隊給上帝，

about how to make itself known in daylight.

內容是關於在光天化日之下 如何讓它自己被大家知道。

All its life, the dream made plans.

夢想終其一生都在計畫。

It planned to write, publish, get rich, publish,

它計畫要寫作、出版、變富有、出版、

have sex with reckless, attractive men in the backseats of taxis,

和魯莽又有吸引力的男人 在計程車後座做愛，

yes, that happened -- no, it didn't.

是的，那有發生──不，其實沒有。

The dream argued with itself, with the truth.

夢想和它自己爭執，和真相爭執。

You didn't have the dream, the dream had you.

你沒有夢想，是夢想有你。

Every single one of its plans fell through.

它的每一個計畫都失敗了。

"I give up," it cried, "I quit."

「我放棄，」它哭著說：「我不做了。」

Hid itself in the dark until finally it heard its name being called.

把它自己藏在黑暗中，直到 最後它聽到有人叫它的名字。

Pondered the unspeakable miracle of sticking around long enough to be seen.

仔細考慮著無法說出的奇蹟， 逗留夠久到可以被看見的奇蹟。

Now it looks around for the ones who've waited years for its arrival.

現在，它四處尋找 為它的到來等待了數年的人

They always come for you, don't they, your girls?

他們總會來找你的， 對嗎，你的女孩們？

With their crossed fingers and belief in you,

她們會祈求好運並相信著你，

"No destination," they say, "No maps, no idea where we're headed."

「沒有目的地，」她們說：「沒有地圖，

不知道我們在朝哪裡前進。」

And even though you cannot believe this is happening,

即使你無法相信會發生這樣的事，

even though you are hallucinating with fear,

即使你帶著恐懼在產生幻覺，

you hear yourself say it,

你聽見你自己說：

"I am ready, I am ready, let's go!"

「我準備好了，我準備好了，走吧！」

FB: Episode one.

佛：第一集。

JM: Everyone always wants to know how we became sisters.

珍：大家總是想要知道 我們怎麼成為姐妹的。

"How did you two meet?" Like we're a married couple.

「你們兩個怎麼認識的？」 好像我們是夫妻。

I like to say we met online.

我喜歡說，我們在線上認識的。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

FB: We met at the Nuyorican Poets Café in 1999.

佛：1999 年我們相識於 Nuyorican Poets Café 劇場。

Every Friday night of our young lives spent in the audience or on the mic.

我們年輕時每個星期五晚上 都會在觀眾席或是台上。

Miss one Friday, and you would hear about the poet who killed it.

錯過一個星期五，你就會聽說 有個詩人有超出色的表現。

You should have been there!

你應該要來的！

JM: I killed it.

珍：我表現超好。

FB: The night I met Jen, she was sitting on the lap of my archnemesis.

佛：那晚，我遇到珍妮佛， 她坐在我的宿敵的腿上。

I swear we are never going to be friends.

我發誓我們絕對不會成為朋友。

JM: Really?

珍：真的？

We are not going to be friends

我們不會成為朋友，

because I'm friends with someone you don't like?

只因為我和你不喜歡的人交朋友？

FB: Absolutely. Without a doubt.

佛：當然。毫無疑問。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

JM: Misdemeanor one: menacing.

珍：罪狀一，威脅恐嚇。

I love it when women size me up and spit me out

我很喜歡女性在認識我、 在我開口之前，

before they've ever met me, before I've said one word.

就打量我並抨擊我。

The phrase "dismissed before investigation" comes to mind.

「調查之前就駁回」一詞浮現腦海。

Misdemeanor two: fraud.

罪狀二，詐欺。

Felice likes to claim she believes in science and math,

佛莉絲喜歡宣稱她相信科學和數學，

that she proceeds through life with logic, like a man.

說她就像男人一樣 用邏輯的方式過日子。

Lot of logic in this example, lot of fairness and justice,

在這個例子中有很多邏輯， 很多公平和正義，

real open-minded play.

真的是毫無偏見的戲劇。

Felice is not a detective, she only plays one onstage.

佛莉絲並不是偵探， 她只是在台上演偵探。

And when I say that, I say it as a private investigator,

當我說這句話時， 是以私家偵探的身份說的，

licensed in the state of New York.

我有在紐約州取得執照的喔。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

FB: Sherlock Holmes doesn't need a license.

佛：夏洛克福爾摩斯不需要執照。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

He solves crime. So do I.

他能偵破犯罪案，我也行。

Using science and my intuition.

用科學和我的直覺。

Everything I know about detective work, I learned on TV.

所有關於偵探工作方面的知識 我都是在電視上學到的喔。

JM: Episode two.

珍：第二集。

How we became sisters.

我們怎麼變成姐妹的。

FB: Right, so about a year later,

佛：好，大約一年後，

Jen and I were invited to read poems in the basement of Two Boots pizzeria.

珍妮佛和我受邀到 Two Boots 披薩店的地下室去讀詩。

JM: Our careers had taken off!

珍：我們的職涯起飛了！

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

FB: After the pizzeria reading, we have a slice.

佛：在披薩店讀完詩之後， 我們吃了一片披薩。

I don't know why, but I tell her something I hadn't told anyone.

不知為何，但我告訴她了 一件我沒告訴過任何人的事。

I spent the weekend in Reno with Nacho Velasquez.

我和納裘維拉斯克茲 在雷諾待了一週。

First thing she says --

她說的第一句話是──

JM: Did you see Nacho's little nacho?

珍：你有看到納裘的小納裘嗎？

FB: And we were friends.

佛：我們就成了朋友。

JM: That --

珍：那──

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

That is not how I remember it.

我記得的好像不是這樣。

In my mind, we became friends after I was diagnosed with cancer.

就我所知，是我被診斷出癌症之後 我們才變成朋友的。

You came with me to Sloan Kettering, because my family wasn't handy.

你和我一起去史隆凱特琳癌症研究中心 因為我家人不方便去。

FB: OK, let's hear that version.

佛：行，那就來聽聽那個版本。

JM: So, we walk into Sloan Kettering,

珍：所以，我們走進了癌症研究中心，

and I have never seen my sister happier.

我沒見過我姐妹這麼快樂過。

Reminder: we are at the cancer hospital.

小提醒：我們是在癌症醫院裡。

There are people limping by with carved faces and missing ears.

有些人跛腳走過，他們 臉上開過刀或是少了耳朵。

FB: This place has everything.

佛：這個地方什麼都有。

There is a waterfall, there are orchids, little packets of graham crackers.

有個瀑布、有蘭花， 還有小包的全麥餅乾。

JM: I am sitting in the waiting room, sweating through my dress,

我坐在等候室，汗濕透了我的衣服，

she's making herself a cappuccino.

她幫自己泡了杯卡布奇諾。

FB: It's delicious.

佛：很好喝啊。

JM: I cannot handle you right now.

珍：我真是受不了你。

FB: Episode three.

佛：第三集。

JM: Six years after we first met.

珍：我們見面後六年。

FB: My childhood best friend dies.

佛：我兒時最好的朋友過世了。

The day of his wake there is a transit strike.

他的守靈日剛好發生交通罷工。

Jen walks from Cobble Hill to Crown Heights

珍妮佛從科布爾山步行到皇冠高地，

so she can go with me.

這樣她才能陪我同行。

There are moments that bond, and this one is key.

有一些時刻會讓我們緊密相依， 而這次是最重要的一次。

When there is no train, no car service, no bus,

在沒有火車、沒有汽車接送服務、 沒有公車的情況下，

my sister will walk miles just to be by my side.

我姐妹願意步行數英哩路， 只為了陪我同行。

JM: When a sister loves a sister.

珍：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

When she says, "It's time for bibimbap,"

當她說：「是吃韓式拌飯的時候了。」

she means, "I need to talk, I'm having a meltdown."

意思是：「我需要談談，我快崩潰了。」

And when she says,

當她說：

"Did you sleep with my man, Nacho Velasquez,"

「你有和我的男人 納裘維拉斯克茲上床嗎？」

she means, "I'm having trust issues around our friendship again.

她的意思是：「我又對 我們的友誼產生信賴問題了。

You are supposed to know this."

你應該要知道這點的。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

FB: When a sister loves a sister,

佛：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

you are in Crown Heights and she is in Bedford-Stuyvesant.

你在皇冠高地， 她在貝德福德－斯泰弗森特。

Or you're in Spain, sipping absinthe, and she is in Paris, writing.

或，你在西班牙啜飲苦艾酒， 而她在巴黎寫作。

Or you are in your apartment, sun-glassed and hoodied,

或，你在你的公寓中， 戴太陽眼鏡穿連帽衫，

creating new choreography to the right soundtrack.

為理想的配樂編舞。

JM: While you're home having flashbacks to 9/11,

珍：當你在家裡回憶著九一一事件，

listening to the last call of your friend,

聽著你朋友的最後一通電話，

a firefighter who perished in the North Tower.

這位朋友是死在北塔的消防員。

His last words, "Thank you."

他最後的一句話是：「謝謝你。」

You find it difficult to say goodbye.

你感覺很難說出再見。

FB: When a sister loves a sister,

佛：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

it is five o’clock in the morning, you are asleep and she is calling.

那是早上五點， 你在睡覺，她打電話來。

You say, "Hey, sis, did someone die?"

你說：「嘿，姐妹，有人死了嗎？」

JM: You are sobbing, saying your boyfriend, the cop, got shot

珍：你在哭泣， 說你的警察男友中槍了，

and straight away, her voice contains the depth and calm of a windless lake.

立刻，她的聲音有著 無風湖泊的深沉與平靜。

For hours, she stays on the line and remains very quiet and very kind.

數個小時，她仍在電話的另一端， 始終非常安靜，非常寬容。

FB: Whatever you need to get through this.

佛：不論你需要什麼來渡過這件事。

JM: When she says, "Let's see each other this week,"

珍：當她說：「我們這週見個面吧！」

she means, "Let's cancel and talk on the phone instead."

意思是：「咱們取消見面， 改講電話吧。」

When she says,

當她說：

"This thing Tara Brach said reminded me of you,"

「塔拉布拉赫所說的，讓我想到你。」

she means it reminded her of her and then you.

她的意思是，那讓她想到她， 然後才想到你。

It means she's been doing guided meditations again,

那表示她又在做靜心冥想了，

is about to drop some spiritual-wisdom-type shit

那是些靈性智慧式的鳥東西，

about radical acceptance, ergo --

談的是全然接受，因此──

FB: The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.

佛：唯一的生活方式，就是接受 每分鐘都是個無法再次重覆的奇蹟。

JM: In the '90s, you fought with the constancy of dawn.

珍：在九〇年代，你與黎明的 恆久不變並肩而戰。

It was entertaining, a sport, a pastime.

娛樂性很高，那是種運動、消遣。

FB: What is wrong with you? JM: What's wrong with you?

佛：你有什麼毛病？ 珍：你有什麼毛病？

FB: I'm not the one being aggressive.

佛：想吵架的人可不是我。

JM: I'm relaxed.

珍：我不知道你在講什麼，我很放鬆耶。

FB: I'm not doing this with you.

佛：我沒有要隨你起舞。

JM: Your wide-eyed friends would raise their hands and say,

珍：你睜大眼的朋友們 會舉起他們的手，說：

"What is going on with you two?"

「你們兩個是怎麼搞的？」

One winter, when you had no money,

有一年冬天，當你沒有錢時，

you mailed her flowers from Paris because she was having surgery.

你從巴黎寄花給她， 因為她要動手術。

One spring in your deepest heartbreak

一年春天，當你承受著最深的心碎，

she stood with you in the rain on Fulton Street.

她陪著你，站在雨中的福爾頓街上，

FB: This isn't your dream, sis.

佛：這不是你的夢，姐妹。

You can leave him.

你可以離開他。

JM: One winter, one spring, two decades, two women, one dream.

珍：一個冬天，一個春天， 兩個十年，兩個女人，一個夢。

Your mothers' names are Sheila.

你的母親們的名字叫席菈。

They quote the Bible, say --

她們引用聖經，說──

FB: "You are fearfully and wonderfully made."

佛：「你的受造奇妙可畏。」

JM: Say --

珍：說──

FB: "Boy, it's good you're done with that MFA."

佛：「讚，你終於拿到藝術碩士了。」

JM: You and your sister laugh, thank God that pesky dream is finished,

珍：你和你的姐妹大笑， 感謝老天，那麻煩的夢結束了。

now you can finally get back to peeling potatoes and shucking corn.

現在你終於能回去過平凡的日子了。

FB: When a sister loves a sister,

佛：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

you want her in the audience when your play premieres

你會希望你的表演在華盛頓特區

at the National Theatre in Washington DC.

國家劇院首映時，她會在觀眾席中。

JM: When a sister loves a sister,

珍：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

she cheers and screams when an agent agrees to send out your stories.

經紀人同意要送出你的故事時， 她會歡呼和尖叫。

FB: When a sister loves a sister,

佛：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

she celebrates your artistic, romantic and spiritual victories.

她會慶祝你的藝術上、 愛情上，以及心靈上的勝利。

JM: You are like young girls becoming

珍：你就像是年輕女孩心中

what they always dreamed of becoming when they grew up.

夢想長大能夠成為的樣子。

FB: When a sister loves a sister,

佛：當一個姐妹愛一個姐妹，

you listen to her read, thinking --

你會傾聽她朗讀，心想──

JM: As heaven to the gods is poetry to the beloved.

珍：心想，詩之於摯愛的人， 就像天堂之於眾神。

(Applause)

（掌聲）

JM: Love you.

珍：我愛你。

(Applause)

（掌聲）