How Film Captures the Space Between Hope and Despair | Mounia Akl | TED

翻译人员: Teresa Chen 校对人员: Yip Yan Yeung

Hello.

大家好。

So as you know,

如你们所知，

my comfort zone isn’t here.

我的舒适区不在台上。

It’s usually on set,

通常是在片场，

behind a camera,

在摄像机后，

like him,

和他一样，

or him.

或者是他。

But I’m very happy to be here.

但我很高兴能站在这里。

So yes, I was born in Beirut, Lebanon.

我出生于黎巴嫩的 贝鲁特（Beirut）。

It’s what I call my home country.

那里是我的祖国。

It’s the place where my first memories are,

我最初的记忆都在那里，

where my parents live,

我父母居住在那里，

where my first loves are,

我的初恋在那里，

my first heartbreaks.

初次心碎也在那里。

I’ve lived in other places

我在其他地方生活过，

and I’ve made them home,

也将那些地方当成是家，

like New York,

比如纽约，我爱上的地方， 也在这个地方谈了恋爱。

which I’ve fallen in love with --

and in.

But I always felt like my biggest strength

但我一直觉得，我最大的力量

came from the fact that I knew exactly where I came from.

在于我清楚我来自哪里。

And that knowledge was very important to me

而这份认识对我意义非凡，

because it really defines who I am as a woman.

因为它真正定义了 我是怎样的女性。

But growing up in Lebanon comes with a price.

但在黎巴嫩长大是有代价的。

I think this tension and this --

我认为这种拉扯和

what I have between my home country is something I cherish

我与祖国之间的联系 令我珍惜，

but it’s also a burden,

但它也是一种负担，

because Lebanon is a place with a very contradicting soul.

因为黎巴嫩是一个 拥有矛盾灵魂的地方。

It’s a place filled with chaos and poetry;

那里充满混乱和诗意；

a place where hope and despair coexist in really strange ways.

希望和绝望 以非常奇怪的方式共存着。

It’s also a place where joy and sorrow are inseparable,

在那里， 欢乐和痛苦形影不离，

like Khalil Gibran --

正如黎巴嫩诗人 卡里·纪伯伦（Khalil Gibran）

in one of my favorite poems by our national poet,

在我最爱的一首诗中写道，

Khalil Gibran mentions “that well from which comes our laughter

“在我们的欢笑腾涌的同一眼泉中，

is also the one that hosts our tears.”

也时常溢满了我们的泪水。”

And I think today, more than ever, this is true in Lebanon,

我想，现今的黎巴嫩 前所未有地适合这种说法，

because after everything that happened,

因为在这一切发生之后，

it feels like a land of broken dreams,

黎巴嫩就像一片梦想破灭之地，

but filled with so many dreams nonetheless.

但仍然充满着无数梦想。

And growing up in Lebanon,

在黎巴嫩长大的过程中，

we were constantly on the verge of the worst.

我们时常徘徊于最糟糕的边缘。

We felt like that silence between [one] crisis and the other

我们觉得 一个个危机起伏间的寂静，

was almost more agonizing than the crisis itself.

几乎比危机的本身更令人痛苦。

And that really defined us as human beings,

但这也塑造了我们的人格，

because we really live every day as if it were our last,

因为我们把每一天 都当作最后一天在活，

and that’s in the best and the worst kind of ways.

这是最好，也是最坏的方式。

I think this is where the screenwriter in me was born:

我想，我剧作家的灵魂 就在这里诞生：

at home in Lebanon,

在黎巴嫩的家园，

in the streets at home

在故乡的街巷，

and the house I grew up in,

在我长大的房子里，

because I became fascinated with human flaws and vulnerabilities

因为我迷上了 人的瑕疵和脆弱，

and the truth that comes out of us in times of crisis

以及我们在危机之中，压力之下

and when we’re put under pressure.

展现出的真实。

And when at home,

在家时，

when I saw the people I loved the most,

当我看到我挚爱的人们， 我的父母，

my parents,

be real,

真切地活着，

I felt free somehow.

不知何故，我就感到自在。

It wasn’t always pretty but at least it felt safe,

真实不尽然美好， 但至少让我感到安心，

like this is a place where we can be ourselves.

就像那是个 我们可以真正做自己的地方。

But in 2020,

但在 2020 年，

when the pandemic hit the planet,

当疫情席卷全球，

we all started questioning what home meant.

我们都开始质疑家的意义。

My parents were architects --

我的父母曾是建筑师， 现在仍是，

are architects,

so they also added to what I felt home was to my definition of home.

他们也扩充了 我对家的感受和定义。

Because before following my own dreams --

因为在我追逐个人梦想——

being a filmmaker --

成为电影制作人之前，

I was a good daughter,

我是个好女儿，好女孩，

a good girl,

and I followed my father’s dreams

我遵循了我父亲的梦想， 攻读并完成了建筑学业。

and I studied architecture and finished.

And what I learned in architecture school is how much you can learn about people,

我在建筑学院学到了 你能了解很多关于人们的事、

about their story,

关于他们的故事、

about societies through the spaces that they inhabit,

关于社会， 都能通过他们的居住地发现，

through every object,

通过每个物体、 每个框架、每面墙壁、

every frame, every wall,

through the ground,

地面上、街道中。

through the streets.

But what do you do

但当你觉得你所处的地面 可能崩塌时，你会怎么做？

when you feel like the ground on which you’re standing might not hold?

In the world of today,

在当今世界， 政治格局动荡不安，

filled with political instability,

climate disasters, where our spaces are constantly ravaged and threatened,

气候灾害频发， 我们的空间不断受到蹂躏和威胁，

how do you create a sense of home?

你如何营造家的感觉？

In 2020 when the pandemic hit,

2020 年疫情爆发时，

we all felt --

我们都——

or at least those of us lucky enough to have homes --

或者说至少是我们之中 那些足够幸运拥有家的人，

we all went inside,

我们都回到家中， 家变成了我们的安全区。

and that became our safe space.

The outside world became the threat:

外面的世界成为了威胁： 空气，人群。

the air, the people.

This invisible monster was outside.

外面充斥着隐形的怪兽。

But as long as you were tucked in your bubble,

但只要你缩在你的泡泡里，

you were safe.

你就是安全的。

And I’m talking about those of us

我指的是那些足够幸运， 不与施暴者同住、

who are lucky enough not to live locked with an abuser,

victims of domestic abuse.

不是家暴受害者的我们。

So for those of us,

所以对我们这些人而言，

the safe bubble was inside.

安全的泡泡在家里。

Or so we thought.

或至少我们是这样认为的。

On August 4, 2020 in Lebanon,

2020 年 8 月 4 日，在黎巴嫩，

our lives changed.

我们的生活改变了。

In a split of a second,

一瞬间，

one of the largest non-nuclear explosions pulverized our port

最大的非核爆炸之一 粉碎了我们的港口，

and destroyed half our city,

破坏了半个城市，

killing many people

带走了许多生命， 摧毁了我们的家园，

and destroying homes

and creating losses that we can’t even count until today.

并造成了 至今都难以计量的损失。

And there still hasn’t been accountability for what happened,

直到现在， 此事都没有问责结果，

even though it was the result of years of political mismanagement and corruption.

尽管这是多年来 政治管理不善和腐败的结果。

I happened, on that day, to be in Beirut:

那天，我刚好在贝鲁特：

in the center of Beirut,

在布鲁特的中心，在办公室里，

in the office,

because I was in pre-production for my first feature film,

我正在为我的第一部故事片《垃圾年代》 （Costa Brava, Lebanon）进行前期制作。

“Costa Brava, Lebanon,”

a film we had been working on for a few years really hard,

我们为这部影片 已经努力了好几年，

and a film that, ironically, is the story of a family that decides to leave Beirut,

讽刺的是，影片的故事是关于 一个家庭决定离开贝鲁特，

a place that doesn’t feel safe to them anymore

因为那里不再让他们感到安全，

to create a utopic mountain home,

于是他们要去山中创造乌托邦家园，

a self-sustainable mountain home

一个自给自足的山中家园，

away from a city that has broken their hearts.

远离令他们心碎的城市。

This is the cast of the film.

这是电影的演员。

And then what happens

而接着发生的是， 他们的乌托邦被彻底摧毁了，

is that their utopia is completely destroyed

when the government decides

因为政府决定在他们家园外面 修建一个非法的垃圾场。

to build an illegal garbage landfill right outside their home,

bringing that reality to their front door --

这将现实拉回了他们家门前——

the one they have been running away from for many years.

那个他们躲避了多年的现实。

The family finds itself again confronted to this destruction

这个家庭发现， 他们需要再一次

that it had been trying to avoid,

面对他们试图躲避的毁灭，

facing everything it was trying to protect itself from.

直面他们试图 保全自己免受的一切。

I was with the crew, the cast and the crew of the film

我当时与电影的演员 及工作团队在一起，

in the office in Gemmayze in Beirut,

在贝鲁特杰梅泽 （Gemmayze）的办公室里，

when at six or seven,

六、七点钟时，一瞬间，

in the split of a second,

our lives were turned upside down.

我们的生活天翻地覆。

We went from a creative meeting filled with passion and love

我们本来在开一场创意会议， 充满了热情、爱、兴奋，

and excitement

to looking for each other under rubble,

变成了在瓦砾下寻找彼此，

wondering if we had all made it alive.

想知道我们是否都活了下来。

Luckily, we did,

幸运的是，我们都活着，

and we were much luckier than a lot of people in the same street.

而且我们比同一条街上的许多人 都幸运得多。

My cinematographer, Joe, almost lost his eye

我的电影摄影师乔（Joe）， 差点失去他的一只眼睛，

and everyone was injured.

每个人都受伤了。

We got out of the street

我们跑到街上，

and realized that the explosion was not just next to the office,

发现爆炸不只在办公室附近， 而是无处不在，

but everywhere,

and that’s when we understood how big it was.

那时我们才知道事情有多严重。

Walking down the street like zombies around that time,

我们像丧尸一样走在街上，

surrounded by broken, confused, stunned faces,

周遭是破碎的、 困惑的、错愕的面孔，

felt like walking in the set of a movie I don’t want to direct or be a part of.

就像走在一个电影片场， 而我并不想执导或参与其中。

Everyone’s homes,

每个人的家、 他们的私人空间、

their private spaces,

their frames, their walls,

他们的框、他们的墙，

were dust on which we were walking.

都成了我们脚下的尘土。

We stopped everything at that moment

那时，我们的一切都暂停了，

because we lost all of our coordinates:

因为我们失去了所有指引：

all of our sense of home,

所有家的感觉， 所有我们为之努力的事物。

everything that we had worked for.

So what we did is we just took a moment for two months

于是，我们用了两个月的时间，

and each of us took time to grieve,

每个人都花时间来哀悼， 评估损失，

to assess the losses,

whether it was the office or all of us.

办公室的人或所有人皆是如此。

Anyway, how can you even think about being creative

毕竟，你怎么可能思考创意， 或创造什么，

or making anything

at a moment where you feel like you’re living hell --

当你感觉你身处地狱，

in the middle of hell?

在地狱中央时？

You cannot create amidst such chaos.

你无法在那样的混乱中创作。

At that moment,

在那时，我的母亲—— 我那天的英雄，

my mother --

my hero on that day

because it’s only thanks to her that some of us made it to a hospital,

因为多亏了她， 我们一些人才得以到达医院，

who has lived civil wars --

她是经历过内战的人，

reminded me of a book I read in architecture school.

让我回忆起 我在建筑学院时读过的一本书。

“Invisible Cities” by Italo Calvino.

《看不见的城市》（Invisible Cities）， 来自伊塔罗·卡尔维诺（Italo Calvino）。

I’ll read to you the quote that she read to me at that time

我将念一段引述， 正是母亲当时读给我的，

when she saw the despair me and my team were in.

当她看到我和我的团队 陷入绝望时，她说，

“The hell of the living is not something that will be.

“生者的地狱是不会出现的。

If there is one,

如果真有， 那就是这里已有的，

it is what is already here,

the hell we live every day, that we make by being together.

是我们天天身处其中的， 是我们集结在一起而形成的。

There are two ways to escape suffering it.

免遭痛苦的办法有两种。

The first is easy for many:

对于许多人， 第一种很容易接受：

accept the hell,

接受地狱，成为它的一部分， 直至感觉不到地狱的存在。

and become such a part of it that you can no longer see it.

The second is risky

第二种有风险， 需要持久的警惕和学习：

and demands constant vigilance and apprehension:

seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the midst of hell, are not hell,

在地狱中寻找并辨别 非地狱的人和物，

then make them endure, give them space.”

使他们存在下去， 赋予他们空间。”

Luckily, these people were not too far from me.

幸运的是， 非地狱的这些人离我不远。

There were the cast and the crew of this film,

这部电影的演员和工作团队，

so we met all together and brainstormed.

我们都聚在一起， 进行了头脑风暴。

We thought, should we make this film or not?

我们在思考， 我们是否该完成这部影片？

It seemed crazy to make anything around that time in Lebanon

在黎巴嫩，那段时间里， 想制作什么都是很疯狂的，

because the country was experiencing, until now,

因为这个国家到现在，

its worst economic crisis since its inception,

都在经历建国以来 最严重的经济危机，

the loss and the destruction

那些损失和毁灭，

and the PTSD we were all going through after the explosion

爆炸后我们承受的 创伤后应激障碍，

and also the global pandemic,

以及重挫了黎巴嫩的全球疫情，

which was hitting the country really hard,

which we had almost forgotten about

不过在所有其他发生的事面前，

because of everything else that was happening.

我们几乎忘记了疫情。

But at a moment where existing felt like an act of resistance,

但在这样的时刻， 当存在就像一种反抗时，

we felt like making this movie was very important,

我们觉得制作这部电影 是很重要的，

because it would mean regaining agency --

因为这意味着重获能动性，

to regain agency

重新获得能动性，

and feel like they haven't taken everything from us.

让我们觉得 我们没有被夺走一切。

And as Maya Angelou says,

正如玛雅·安杰洛 （Maya Angelou）所言，

there’s nothing more agonizing

“没有什么比心中放着一个 未诉说的故事更令人痛苦”，

than an untold story hanging inside of you --

not directly quoting.

这句非确切的引用。

And I think we really needed to regain a sense of order,

而且我认为 我们真的需要重新找回秩序感，

find our coordinate,

找回我们的坐标， 家的感觉。

a sense of home.

And like after World War I,

就像第一次世界大战后，

a lot of European artists went back into classicism,

许多欧洲艺术家都回归古典主义，

trying to run away from this feeling of destruction

试图逃离战争带来的毁灭感，

that the war had brought in

and stepped away from the experimentalism that came before,

也离开了先前的实验主义，

I think we used creativity to rebuild those pillars and that order.

我想，我们能用创意 来重建社会的支撑与秩序。

So it was a crazy decision,

这是个很疯狂的决定， 但我们做了，因为我们想做，

but we did it because we wanted to

and because something was driving us.

因为有某种力量驱动着我们。

So we went and made the film against all odds.

于是我们克服一切困难， 完成了这部电影。

And it was hard,

过程很辛苦，充满了障碍，

it was filled with obstacles,

but it was beautiful,

但同时也很美好，

because at a moment where we had missed human connection

因为在那样 失去人际联系的时刻，

and at a moment where our societies are becoming more fragile and loveless,

在我们的社会变得 更加脆弱并缺爱的时刻，

we were able to recreate a moment of warmth,

我们能重建温暖的一刻， 爱与魔法的一刻，

of love and magic,

at a moment where it was hard to find any.

在那时候， 这些温暖原本难以找寻。

And I think that that was very special

我认为那段经历非常特别，

because telling the story together gave us ...

因为共同阐述一个故事 再次给了我们......

a sense of home again.

一种家的感觉。

It felt like the set became that safe space,

感觉就像电影片场 成为了安全区，成为了家庭，

that family.

And it was as real and as raw as the home I was telling you about.

而且它和我先前所说的家 一样真实自然。

Because we were all filled with creativity

因为我们都充满着创意和创作欲，

and a desire to make something,

but we are also grieving and broken.

同时我们也悲恸、破碎着，

So that was me again,

于是，我再次意识到，

realizing the beauty of being surrounded by people as real as me,

身边都是同我一样真实的人 是多么迷人，

even if it was not always pretty,

即使真实不尽然美好， 但它是鲜活的。

but it was real.

And I think that courage and --

我认为那份勇气，

we were always told to go to that place that is the place of great pain

我们总是被告诉 要去怀揣巨大痛苦的地方，

because it’s also a place of great inspiration.

因为那里也是 蕴含伟大灵感的地方。

I think that it’s easy to hear and to say,

我想，这听起来、说起来很容易， 但要达成真的很难。

but it’s really hard to achieve.

I think that courage to go there,

我认为，去到那里的勇气，

to go where it hurts when you’re so broken,

在你如此破碎时， 去到痛苦地方的勇气，

came to me from those people,

是我的电影演员 及工作团队给予我的。

this cast and crew

that really, really gave me the courage

他们真的给了我 想说出故事的勇气，

to want to tell the story

and reminded me of the importance of it.

并提醒着我这有多么重要。

And I want to mention also those two girls.

另外，我想提一下两位女孩。

I actually have twins who played the role of Rim,

我其实让双胞胎 来出演了里姆（Rim）这个角色，

the protagonist of the film,

里姆是电影的主角， 她们二人共同完成了这个角色。

and they both shared the role.

And I think working with them was a great learning experience for me,

对我而言，与她们共事 是一个很棒的学习经历，

because that’s the beauty of being a filmmaker.

因为拍电影的美好之处在于，

You work with people from different ages

你总能与不同年龄， 不同背景的人们共事。

and different backgrounds all the time,

and working with them,

而与这对双胞胎共事， 对我们片场的所有人来说，

for all of us on set,

was a reminder of the importance of remaining hopeful

都是在提醒我们 保持希望和惊奇感的重要性，

and keeping the sense of wonder,

especially for their generation.

特别是为了她们的世代，

Because whatever world we’re fighting for today,

因为无论今天 我们在为什么世界而战，

they will be able to benefit from.

他们都会从中受益。

And so I know that we all deal with loss and rebuilding a home that we lost

如此，我知道我们都在用不同的方式 处理丧失之痛，重建家园。

in different ways.

For me, it was through human connection

我的方法是通过人际连结，

and understanding that it wasn't necessarily a space anymore.

并明白家不再只是一个空间。

And I think for you it might be something else.

对各位来说，可能又不一样。

We all channel that in different ways.

我们的方式都不相同。

But for me,

但于我而言，

that moment of joy, of sorrow, of freedom,

在那充满 喜悦、悲伤、自由、创意的时刻，

of creativity,

that moment between the “action” and the “cut,”

在“开始”和“卡”之间的时刻，

that’s what felt like home.

就是家的感觉。

And I’m very grateful for that.

我对此非常感激。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause and cheers)

（掌声和欢呼）